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Sorry, kwbauer, the fact is, we've already heard that sentiment. Republicans have proclaimed they have a mandate. Oh you may sputter over use of another phrasing, and you certainly won't admit the meaning is clear, but we've heard it.

Don't worry, some of us remember. Hypocrisy, and amnesia may be your defect, but others, others have their own recollections, and can spot your lies.

You have done it. You will do it again. Your political side has done it, in this particular instance. They have made the claim, get to the back of the bus. And yet...Trump still has less voters than Obama did. And a tighter margin.

Feel free to shock me, admit my interpretation is correct, then deny that Paul Ryan was correct.

Mmm, inexplicably wet sandwich.

As opposed to Subway, where it's explicably wet: http://tosh.cc.com/blog/files/...

So the allegations of sexual harassment from Bill Clinton & Donald Trump are false... because there exists no video of either occurrence?

And here I thought such logic only existed on the Chappelle Show: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...

do you actually think nobody learned anything from the long record of these misleading videos?

Yes, it's so misleading to document how easy it is to get someone eases ballot without ID.

Well, yeah. Don't you know how this works? In every election, the Republican candidate is Literally Hitler.

Except when it's the Republicans that are accusing Democrats of being LITERALLY HITLER.

Or at least, Goebbels. You may have forgotten.

Please take your protests to your own side first.

That idea was explored there.

You're really going to play the sexist card against me just because I don't like Hillary? Give me a fucking break dude. She's going to get my vote -- the alternative is too scary to contemplate -- but I don't have to be fucking happy about it, and if you think all opposition to her is grounded in sexism you're delusional. Even The Daily Show dislikes her. When the Democrat earns the scorn of TDS there's obviously something wrong.

Or Trevor Noah is a sexist. Yeah, that's probably it. *sarcasm*

So settlements is the excuse now? What was the Palestinians' excuse during the 1929 Safed Riots, or the 1929 Hebron Massacre, or the 1938 Tiberias Massacre, or the 1834 Safed Massacre, or the the 1517 Safed Massacre, or the 1838 attack on Safed, or the 1834 Hebron Massacre, or the 1660 Destruction of Safed, or the 1660 Destruction of Tiberias?

All of those occurred before Israel was even formed. Between the formation of Israel and the first constructed settlement (1948-1967), there were an average of just over 3.2 attacks on civilians per year originating in the Jordan-controlled West Bank, ignoring the multiple actual wars that were started.

When Israel entirely withdrew from all Gaza settlements in 2005, they were immediately met with an increase of violence, not less.

So is there *any* reason to believe the Palestinians -- the same people who overwhelmingly support the government that holds this kind of shit at their schools -- would stop attacking civilians if the settlements are disbanded?

Fuck no. The settlements are just a convenient excuse, not that the Palestinians need one to kill teh joos.

Probably just in retaliation for the Israelites' conquering of Canaan. You know, where they enslaved their allies and slaughtered every man, woman, and child in Jericho.

So settlements is the excuse now? What was the Palestinians' excuse during the 1929 Safed Riots, or the 1929 Hebron Massacre, or the 1938 Tiberias Massacre, or the 1834 Safed Massacre, or the the 1517 Safed Massacre, or the 1838 attack on Safed, or the 1834 Hebron Massacre, or the 1660 Destruction of Safed, or the 1660 Destruction of Tiberias?

All of those occurred before Israel was even formed. Between the formation of Israel and the first constructed settlement (1948-1967), there were an average of just over 3.2 attacks on civilians per year originating in the Jordan-controlled West Bank, ignoring the multiple actual wars that were started.

When Israel entirely withdrew from all Gaza settlements in 2005, they were immediately met with an increase of violence, not less.

So is there *any* reason to believe the Palestinians -- the same people who overwhelmingly support the government that holds this kind of shit at their schools -- would stop attacking civilians if the settlements are disbanded?

Fuck no. The settlements are just a convenient excuse, not that the Palestinians need one to kill teh joos.

He was denied a sale at a gun shop who also reported him to the FBI as they had a really bad feeling about the guy, they felt really uncomfortable with some of the questions he was asking and his general behavior. It wasn't the first time he had been report either but look what good that ended up doing.

He was trying to purchase body armor that the store did not carry (and is stronger than what police are issued) and significant (read: hundreds) of rounds of ammunition. That kind of thing would get the FBI called on just about anyone.

I imagine a good dramatic reenaction of how it went down would look something like this.

Interview with J.J. Abrams saying he never liked Star Trek.

Also to note, anyone curious to see J.J. Abrams saying he never liked Star Trek, see this interview with Jon Stewart.

Obligatory Futurama

Al Gore tried to warn us about ManBearPig, but no one would listen to him.

ManBearPig

aka, the "im just asking" line of attack.

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...

Good list, and I agree with the spirit of your message entirely. However...

"5) does the sexual act include animals?"

Many people believe that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with having sex with animals on the basis that they are animals. There is actually a group of people that claim a difference between beastiality and zoophillia, though Wikipedia considers them to be the same.

The key take-home point is that animals cannot consent to sex, therefore sex with animals is a form of statutory rape.

However, animals don't consent to being killed and eaten and we do that to them all the time.

Giving a dog a "red rocket" is patently not abusive and the animal appears to derive pleasure from the act. In the farming community vets and farmers routinely masturbate breeding males to produce sperm. Is there something about a man penetrating an animal that makes it wrong? How about a woman encouraging a dog to lick her vagina?

It's a murky area for sure.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this Daily Show segment. It's classic! http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...

Nice Philip J. Fry ref., but it was an interstellar truck stop...
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/c47926/futurama-wormy-discovery

Several among us are already theoretically rich, based on our likes and followers. I hear out in California-way, people are making millions of theoretical dollars on their videos.

These people don't stop existing, though

Well, in a way they do.

"If you don't like the jokes stay out of the comedy clubs... If you don't like criticism stop googling yourself every 10 seconds." (Louis C.K. on The Daily Show, July 16th, 2012)

By leaving Twitter he's no longer giving those people his ear. They don't matter to him anymore, they stop existing to him.

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/...

It was a joke, but I guess I screwed it up.

I thought George Lucas was just Stephen Spielberg's puppet, as documented here:

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/...

I think you missed the part where this texan plumber's truck was featured in the Colbert Report, a segment which was rebroadcast primetime during the emmys, therefore making the subset of people who watched the video and and connected the truck to the business into the millions.

The article also mentions that Homeland Security and the FBI met with him and advised him to carry a gun due to the hundreds of daily calls and threats he was receiving. There is cause for him to be concerned with his safety here.

Unregistered bad guy with drone can be stopped by registered good guy with drone.

According to the FBI, that doesn't even work with guns. As described in A Study of Active Shooter Incidents in the United States Between 2000 and 2013, reported at New FBI Report Casts Doubt on NRA's 'Good Guy Stops Bad Guy' Nonsense and other places including The Daily Show, Jordan Klepper: Good Guy with a Gun Pt. 2 ...

Of active shooting incidents just released by the FBI which analyzed 160 "active shootings" resulting in injuries to 1,043 victims, including 486 deaths, between 2000 and 2013. Here's how these incidents ended.

More than half (56 percent) were terminated by the shooter who either took his or her own life, simply stopped shooting or fled the scene.

Another 26 percent ended in the traditional Hollywood-like fashion with the shooter and law enforcement personnel exchanging gunfire and in nearly all of those situations the shooter ended up either wounded or dead.

In 13 percent of the shooting situations, the shooter was successfully disarmed and restrained by unarmed civilians, and

In 3 percent of the incidents the shooter was confronted by armed civilians, of whom four were on-duty security guards and one person was just your average "good guy" who happened to be carrying a gun.

We'll need to add a whole LOT of "good guys with guns" to bump that 3% / 1 person statistic to anything mildly practically useful.

2015, the year they went to in Back to the Future 2.

However, being this is reality, it should come as no shock that "hoverboard" is a marketing gimmick for shitty electric skateboards. The Daily Show covered this well.

Learning that not only are they shitty electric skateboards but they're also poorly made, dangerous shitty electric skateboards comes as no shock.

that Clayton Bigsby is on that list.

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...

Check this out: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...

South Park has been covering this stuff brilliantly this season. If you haven't seen it, watch Safe Spaces. It covers the problems with the idea of "safe spaces" far better than I ever could.

Also relevant is Stunning and Brave which covers SJWs better than I ever could - the people whose threats caused the panels to be pulled in the first place. (In case anyone was unclear, a bunch of gamers wanted to do a panel about anti-gamers trying to ruin the online community. The anti-gamers responded by calling bomb threats.)

South Park has been covering this stuff brilliantly this season. If you haven't seen it, watch Safe Spaces. It covers the problems with the idea of "safe spaces" far better than I ever could.

Also relevant is Stunning and Brave which covers SJWs better than I ever could - the people whose threats caused the panels to be pulled in the first place. (In case anyone was unclear, a bunch of gamers wanted to do a panel about anti-gamers trying to ruin the online community. The anti-gamers responded by calling bomb threats.)

South Park covered SJWs brilliantly in the episode Stunning and Brave. If anyone wants to see what SJWs are, just watch that episode. (S19E01 if you don't want to use the "official" streams, but I'm going to make you Google it yourself.)

Oh, bullshit. South Park covered the anti-gamer side perfectly.

Gamers aren't the ones doing the harassing in this dumb little hashtag war.

Why link to YouTube? South Park has been available to watch from the official site for some time now.

We're living in Denali.

According to http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid... Jordan Klepper.

Wow... you are heading right into a Upright Citizens Brigade skit. http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...

Move along, nothing to see here. Microsoft has been trying to get their hooks into everybody just like Google and Facebook. If people don't care about their privacy and allow this kind of data collection in the name of "quality" and "focusing search results and ads.." "blah blah" we'll all become human centipads.

No, don't move on, don't ignore this stuff. Doesn't matter if it's been going on before, it's wrong and is starting to get very bad. We need to be taking a firm stance against this sort of stuff.

I guess maybe you are cool with it because they pay you a fee or something, but I, like other people, are not cool with it.

Move along, nothing to see here. Microsoft has been trying to get their hooks into everybody just like Google and Facebook. If people don't care about their privacy and allow this kind of data collection in the name of "quality" and "focusing search results and ads.." "blah blah" we'll all become human centipads.

Perhaps Trevor Noah will justify my subscription.

You know The Daily Show is available for free from its website, right?

Dan Aris

When some jackass (who shall remain nameless) decides to go for a homeopathic cure for his ... I'm gonna say... prostate cancer, then you have a problem. South Park already covered this pretty well. (Also, Robot Chicken.) Quackery has no place in our regulated system. The fact that we put up with it as much as we do is rather disturbing.

Yes, but if you move to NY, you can do this: http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...

And I think it's obvious that's worth more than family.

Had to .. this post reminds me of that hilarious South Park Episode. http://southpark.cc.com/clips/...

The Star Trek Wars

I hope the Hulu people figure their shit out eventually since there's a handful of shows I would watch (like South Park) if they had a reasonable streaming service that didn't try to double dip with both ads and subscriptions.

I'm not even a fan of South Park (anymore) and even I know you can watch any episode any time here: here. Why bother with Hulu?

She's not running for President anymore than Ted Cruz is. the real reason is anonymously pocketing all the anonymous SuperPAC money.

What if someone close to me, or not, died, and I was the last person who read information online about the manner in which they died? If someone commits suicide, and I recently looked it up. That could be "evidence" of a murder! Should I become a suspect, based on that alone?

This is at best a fundamental misunderstanding of how law enforcement actually works, at worst a total straw man.

1. The NSA doesn't concern itself with murder. The overwhelming majority of murders in the United States are handled at the State level.
2. Local law enforcement isn't going to put you on the radar because of a Wikipedia search. They won't even know about your search history unless you appear on their radar for other reasons and the investigation develops enough for search warrants.
3. If an investigation does progress that far and you have a search history that suggests a furtherance of the crime being investigated..... well, probably time to call a lawyer.

What if, while in the course of designing a videogame, I looked up information about how weapons work? Everything from handguns to atom-bombs - for accuracy's sake? Do I deserve to be on a watchlist because I could be planning something?

It takes more to get on a watchlist than Google searches. Watchlists are pointless if the signal to noise ratio is too low. Filling them with people who Googled atomic weapons design is self-defeating. Go ahead, click on the link, it's not going to pop up on a screen at NSA. As much as it may pain our egos, the lion's share of us are fat and unimportant.

... people will serve robots alcohol. Or the robots will just take it.

I know it's true because I saw it on a Fox TV channel.

You'd think Berkeley would have the best recycling in the world...

They do, for needles. ;-)

But regarding the OP, these "smartest regions on earth" are full of people who think they're smarter than everyone else and therefore that they know better. As John Stewart put, "This is Marin County! They're not rednecks. They're not ignorant. They practice a mindful stupidity."

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...

You mean the way they've been attacking said dictators?

Oh wait.

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...

Video of Samantha Bee & Jason Jones hosting the show while Stewart was sick this last October.

That would actually be a genuinely good choice. B dubs is always good for a laugh when he's on the show.

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...
http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...

That would actually be a genuinely good choice. B dubs is always good for a laugh when he's on the show.

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...
http://thedailyshow.cc.com/vid...

Who will take credit first? I expect in the morning the conservative talking heads on radio and TV will trip over each other to be the first to take credit for Stewart's departure.

Who will take "credit"? Try "none of them." The very idea is absurd. Who is it that you think had a running campaign to try to get Stewart removed ... from another network .... from a highly rated show? I can't imagine what would fill your head with such a bizzare idea.

Considering how much he - the admitted source of fake news - has made them look like buffoons routinely over the years, they likely won't mourn him much.

Stewar made pretty much everybody look like a buffoon at some point, including Democrats and President Obama. (I'm sure you have no recollection of his treatment of the entire Democratic party of South Carolina after the Alvin Green debacle - Alvin Greene Wins South Carolina Primary) The problem with Stewart is he isn't all that even handed.