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Consider yourself lucky

Oh, we used to dream of dowloadin' 2Mbps! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to get 12 baud from a tin can an' string connected t' the corporate monopoly. Whenever we dared t' call customer service, they'd spew invective for 90 minutes afore sending a tech down to dump rotting fish on our stoop! Megabits? Huh.

LOL, why when we were kids we had it tough ... "House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling."

And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

and after we bought the RAM we worked 27 hours a day at the mill to pay for it, ate broken glass for breakfast and lived in a hole in the middle of the lane, but it was a good life ...

Luxury! We used to dream of working in the mill ...

...and character. Why, when I was in school, I had to lug 60 pounds of books to school. Through the snow. Up hill. BOTH WAYS!

But you try to tell the young people of today that...they won't believe you.

You were lucky! I love that skit.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.
ALL: They won't!

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.
ALL: They won't!

You had a sign? Luxury! We had a message scrawled in the dirt! If it rained, you didn't know what to do until the guy with the stick came by and re-wrote the message!

And you try and tell the young people of today that. They won't believe you.

Obligatory reference http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

(full text: http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm)

(performed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDaSvRO9xA)

. . . Apologies to IBM, joke follows, no offense intended . . .

" . . . a newt . . . ?"

". . . I got better."

"IBM is like a stream of bat's piss."

"It shines out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark."

"IBM is like a dose of clap."

"Before it arrives is pleasure, but after is a pain in the dong."

"It was one of Wilde's. He's the snitch."

Joke stolen from: http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/oscar_wilde.htm

The first computer I ever saw in person and worked on was a TRS-80 model III. I was in the 7th grade and my junior high school had a lab with a bunch of them. I can remember playing games that looked very similar to the video. This was 1982,

I remember my first computing class, in 1979, at secondary school when I was 14.

To start with, the class was after-hours. This was because we were "overspill" from the main class. The "proper" class had been severely oversubscribed, being the first time in the country that a state comprehensive school had run such a course for the 15+ exams. It was so oversubscribed that the headmaster (~= "principal" Am.Eng.) took about a dozen of us off the class saying "you're the first people we expect to send to university, in 4 years, and you'll be able to do this when you get to university. Nothing much could change in 4 years."

The teacher (recently retired from industry to become a teacher) didn't believe this, which is why he ran the after-school classes.

You saw a computer? Wow! I didn't see one until my first winter vacation from university, when I discovered that my dad had got one (a "BBC", driving the TV). At school, we submitted our BASIC code on pre-printed forms and would get the results of the run, on paper tape, back from the college the next week. At university, we used 300baud ink-on-paper teletype terminals to communicate with the Honeywell 66/80 "mainframe". Which made mapping the Collossal Cave relatively easy. Second year was harder, as the university had upgraded to "glass teletypes" of some sort in the second-year labs. The third-year labs had a computer of their own - IIRC a PDP - but I left computing at the end of second year to continue my studies elsewhere for the final 2 years.

By the time that I was graduating, the university had moved on to using the same sort of BBC, with a monitor, as the terminal-of-choice into the network. But since I didn't have an account in my third year, I had no idea how to use it and could only FTFM then RTFM. It had a text-mode word processor, and I eventually booked an hour on the daisy-wheel printer on the other campus to print my thesis on. Noisy bloody beast!

Where's that script for "the four Yorkshireman"? Ah, here, approximately. "and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah."

Writing mock lobster objects.

Sheer luxury mate. I work in a hole in the road, it's a twenty mile commute on foot in the dark and thirty back. My father fed me stone cold poison and killed me every morning before work. But can ye get the lads to believe you these days? Noooooo.....

We were evicted from our hole. We had to live in a shoebox in the middle of the road. Every morning we'd lick the road clean with our tongues, drink a half cup of hydrochloric acid, and our father would slice us in two with a bread knife and sing glory hallelujah.

http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshiremen.htm

Assembler! They were lucky to have assembler. We had t' code in hex, in 32 bytes of RAM, no screen and half the switches were missing!

Was thinking of the Four Yorkshiremen sketch

http://www.phespirit.info/momus/19980102.htm

If you want the best 'cunt' sketch, just look up Derek and Clive

George Carlin was funny, though not as much as Tom Lehrer - I find Lehrer's humour much more touching.

My lord, you are like a stream of bat's piss...

Oscar Wilde Sketch

If it turns out to be that kind of crater we can expect to find fleets of ships, light aircraft, hamburger stands but no hamburgers, just the stands. A disco in a cruise ship with a pool filled with shit. That would be soo cool:

Derek & Clive

"Your reputation used to depend on
What you concealed
Now it depends on what you reveal"

(Don't mod me down unless you know D&C.

"I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah."

So neh

http://www.phespirit.info/montypython/four_yorkshi remen.htm

"[...] her family was living in a hole in the ground [...]"

She was lucky. My grandfather from Yorkshire told me about how they were evicted from their hole and had to go live in a lake.

(I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist...)

For example, I remember reading that a popular 17th-century puppet play by Chikamatsu glorified love suicides, and as a result there was a rash of them. This deep-set tendency has only been partially reduced by Western influence.

In Europe, Hungary has the reputation of being suicide obsessed. The song Gloomy Sunday by Rezsô Seress, a Hungarian composer, was blamed for many suicides http://www.phespirit.info/gloomysunday/, and is still known as a suicide song. Interestingly, their choice of methods is often rather brutal - defenestration was common, for example.

Some interesting debate on the megafauna extinction here. Or if you're after fermented grapes, visit here, and disregard this

Let's get it out there and just start complaining about kids these days and how we started...

Atari 2600 and Space Invaders (I chewed the controllers)...
Tandy II TRS-80 (didn't have the tape deck so I couldn't save my programs and it had no monitor - it hooked to a television)

No punchcards to complain of, but I do recall playing with an abacus when I was in kindergarten...

(re: subject)

Sound of a worm going through MS security after you click on an MSI installer.

simply have the brain-damaged individual put all of his desk things into a cardboard box and walk him kindly to the exit.
Repeat the process until all the brain damage has been detected and burned away

Before and after.

-

You're lucky to have a cubicle! We used to have to work in t' corridor!

Retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's bum.

Do the people who modded this as a troll not know who Derek and Clive are? Perhaps this may help Derek and Clive

Great stuff, I can just see Tony hancock doing the Radio ham sketch.. If you have never heard it, tune into BBC7 on a tues and you may catch the original radio broadcast.. :-)

I live in the country of Texas. A 3 second Google search turns up this.

The 5 (really cheap "fortified") wines include:
- Night Train Express (see other comment above)
- Thunderbird
- Cisco

OK. So maybe there's a precedent. That explains why my CSCO stock tanked.

I guess I'll go look for a bottle (box?) of:
- Transient's Treat
- Ignorant Splashdotter Farms
- Midnight Puddle
- Garbage Gall(e)on
- Dumpster Delight

Insert Python (Monty) Australian Table Wines sketch here.

I have to look for hay in stacks of needles. And we don't even get to wear gloves. I also have to pay to work and... did I mention I live in a frozen lake...?

• First Geek: Well, I remember when all we got for Christmas were an iPod and a Christmas bonus.
• Second Geek: You were lucky, all we got were a Christmas lunch and a bonus 50% kess than the one we got the year before.
• Third Geek: If you were lucky!
• Second Geek: Aye!
• Third Geek: We used to have a Christmas dinner which we had to pay for eating, and tasted shit, then we used to pay our boss a Christmas bonus.
• Fourth Geek: Aye, them were the days.
• First Geek: And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.
• All: They won't!

For those that don't know, 'Golden Brown' = heroin.

Ali