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Company Christmas Gifts / Bonuses?
A wisely anonymous reader writes "Following my company's Christmas party on Friday, I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO! Needless to say I was PISSED. They didn't even comp. parking at the site of the party, let alone a bonus. yeah, yeah, times are tough. I should be happy just to have a job. but getting a damn doll of the guy who made 65 million last year just makes me angry. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"
We got 2.3% for good profits. Thats all....we didn't even have a party.
Enough to be stuck in the office on a Sunday evening.
I don't know what I'll get (if anything), but what I *want* is an iPod. Go to the Apple Store and click on iPod....it seems Apple offers discounts on iPods for companies that give them as gifts! C'mon boss!!!!
Last year I got laid off for Christmas.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!
So what makes you think you shoudl have the automatic right to DEMAND a Christmas "bonus"?
What exactly have you done that is so special and above what you are paid to do that justifies your expectation of extra pay purely because it is december?
Genuine question.
People should not be afraid of their governments - Governments should be afraid of their people.
We wont get laid off
I got a Sony Clie. Beat that! =)
Paint on some cuts, bruises and put a bunch of blood around the neck like he was decapitated. Then give it back to him.
Maybe he'll get the message then.
..they make good voodoo dolls. fill it with pins and leave it in front of the guy's door. Maybe he'll get a clue.
My company is a small company (20+ employees) but we all got $500 christmas bonuses and our individual performance bonus for the year (mine was $500). Made for a nice addition. It helped me buy my books for the spring semester. (Engineering books can be very expensive)
Daniel
Aerospace Engineering major
University of Central Florida - Orlando
Planetes
"One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promo Ad
"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitl
zip, nada, zilch, nunca, nil
Gimme a freakin' break!!! I can't imagine what goes through someones head to think that someone else might possibly want a bobble head doll in their likeness!
You know you're a geek if you've ever replied to a tagline.
I got nothing from my company for the holidays except a pink slip. They probably needed to give the damn CEO a few extra million as a holiday bonus. I'm so glad that the loss of my job could help in reaching that goal.
greedy fucks.
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?
the shaft.
I couldn't give a flying fuck about any gift, just having a job would be fine for me.
I got loads of money from my company for working really hard and achieving so much.
:)
You should try it sometime..
I don't work, sucker!
... and a new "tobacco water pipe". Of course, I am the boss. I just hope that I don't decide to start randomly drug testing myself.
... as of some time in January. Oh well, some time off...
The heat from below can burn your eyes out
You know, it would've been better if they had given you nothing at all.
.... I wouldn't go to that if they paid me for it.
... not shabby :)
Really. Suctitiude.
What did we get for Christmas? Nothing. The company decided to host the annual "Holiday Party" (It's not a Christmas party, let's not be offensive!) in the company cafeteria.
Feels like I'm back in high school
Instead, one of my vendors (a Sun reseller) is taking us out on a cruise around Manhattan island. Now *THAT'S* nice!
And bonuses? We don't get holiday bonuses; instead we get "merit-based" bonuses at the end of the 1st quarter, based on our performance last year. My target is 10% of my salary, but my bonus typically ranges in the 5-6% range -- nobody ever gets their full target percentage. That wouldn't be fair to the bell curve!
So I can't really complain. Sure, they went cheap on the holiday party, but my Sun sales rep & friends are the folks I want to have a few drinks with anyway! At least I'm still employed, and hopefully our 1Q bonuses will be good this year -- we had the best 3rd quarter on record, ever. Added 1.1 million customers
--NBVB
Where I work, I write software for all kinds of stuff, but get about 60p more per hour than when I was at the museum telling customers where the loos were. I have to work late each day next week to save up hours so we can have the afternoon off to go to a pub lunch. That is what we get for christmas. Nothing. Nada. No time off for the christmas lunch (which we are paying for). My dept isn't doing badly, but the others are finding it tough, hence the austerity measures.
I got ~60% of my team laid off, so those of us who survived the cuts get to make up for the missing headcount.
Welcome to the new world, Neo.
Right now corporate america really sucks big time. Granted being of those currently employeed. Myself and my co-workers have been screwed over many times by management.
First stated a year ago that our 2001 bonuses would be delayed to only find out that the 2001 bonuses don't exist and the 2002 bonuses had been pushed off again.
The way I see it, management knowing about the "economic slow-down" feels that they can screw over the hands and heart behind their business. I mean for the many IT professionals out there, the logic is, where are you gonna go?
I dunno, but makes me think about going into retail...
*sigh*
3 of my clients pitched in and got me a new computer! It must have been that overused excuse that 'my computer crashed' and 'that's why the work isn't done yet'. Guess I have been reading too much slashdot ;)
Not a damn thing. No bonus. No gifts. Nothing.
But, I do have a job. So, I guess I got that going for me.
Well, I got to keep my job after the latest round of lay-offs ... and I'm supposed to be grateful for that!!
I got a modded XBOX for linux testing!
a pink slip, and the second thing i got in the mail was my tuition payment request. Dammit, I could've been a drug dealer for better pay, and hours, and perks...lol...
------- "From bored to fanboy in 3.8 asian girls" ----------
...to get a gamecube from my boss yesterday. he told us not to expect this kind of gift every year, but wanted to really say thanks for taking a risk in joining what is essentially a brand new company.
I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!
You work for Oracle?
My company sends me to the arctic each year for a ~month and we dont' get a party after our return or at the end of the year. While Greeland might be fun the first 5 years, it starts to get old.
All I want for Christmas is a FREAKIN JOB!! Been out of work since September..
Seriously.
We typically get a booby prize (food, etc. box) every year. And you're feeling cheated? :-)
All I want is a kind word, a warm bed and unlimited power.
Who do you work for? Microsoft?
I've been out of work for coming up on 6 months.
Are you kidding? That's a great gift! I mean, how thoughtful of them to give you a voodoo doll!
Fully Vested Stock Options at $7 a share.
Now the stock is at 5.479
Guess what they are offering this year for contractors who work over 100 hours this holiday season.....
I Encrypt My IM's
I own my company, but I don't celebrate Christmas.
A salary and white hairs by the age of 24. Still, I guess the bobbin head beats that just because they paid $10 per employee to have the CEO figuratively jizz on their faces. I may not enjoy my job that much but at least my employers don't actively try to remove my dignity.
I got enrolled in the Jelly of the Month club. There goes that pool I wanted... - C.W.G.
I got $500. Do I get a cookie or something?
Comment removed based on user account deletion
In 1998, I got as a gift from the television station that I work at we got a ornament with the station logo on it. I think everyone was suprised.
But in fairness, we also got a gift certificate to a grocery store.
i got a pretty sweet bonus, a crappy t-shirt, and, believe it or not, some sort of Kenny g christmas collection cd (dunno, i haven't opened it yet). If i were the author i would rent a shotgun and get some bobble-head exploding satisfaction. Maybe i will use my bonus to get a few bobble-heads in the likeness of my boss...
Disco Stu was talkin' to you.
To the jelly-of-the-month club
those fux0rs.
four-oh-four
Check out some of the terrible gifts people have gotten over the years. It's enough to make a grown man cry.
I read the internet for the articles.
Bah, humbug!
So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas? A retrenchment. Oh, and a small cardboard box of tea. If only I drank the stuff.
Our xmas party was on saturday and we got some bobbleheads too. We aren't getting any bonus either and we even had to pay for the xmas party! Our CEO made 200 million this year and managed to drive our stock price down to
a bobble head doll
Did it come with any accessories?
Keep your packets off my GNU/Girlfriend!
You should be happy you got any bonus at all you lazy little bitch. You don't give a fuck about your employer, you just want to make some money. Likewise, your employer doesn't give a fuck about you, he just wants to make some money. If you aren't happy with your "bonus" then quit, it's a free market. You have no right to complain, there are people in China who don't even know what the word "bonus" means.
I guess one downside of working for a non-profit organization is that we don't get any kind of Christmas bonus, but someone has to work to cure cancer, right? At least one company we buy supplies from gave us all $50 each at Amazon, my new rice maker should arrive this week.
2 Years ago everyone (elves and management) had a nice banquet. Last year the elves got a $10 allowance to spend on the meal of choice at a local eatery (Red Lobster) while management were given a nicer banquet (ritz carlton) with an open bar. This year the elves got cards (we did get those the last 2 years as well) while management had a summer cruise for their "early xmas party" and a fully paid for meal/open bar at the local macarooni grill. Things get better for management, not so good for the elves.
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.
Out of curiosity, where do you work? What are the benefits like? Would they pay to relocate?
Our company is *very* employee centric. They practically go out of their way to make sure the employees are happy, and try to build as much of a family feeling as anything. Last year, i had a few personal problems and a couple of the directors spoke to me and offered help from them personally and the company.
As to what i got, since ive been with the company for over 1 christmas, i get £100 cash bonus. NExt year i get a 13 monthes wage. Oh and also we had a free christmas party with a few free drinks etc. The company also does a yearly profit share.
Its a great company to work for.
I got concert tix on the floor (7th row center) of a big-name band and a $1500 bonus.
Pink slips. Not all around, but still, Merry Fscking Christmas. Feel free to use that to grab some points on fuckedcompany.com.
you didn't get a one year subscription to the jelly-of-the-month club.
Which, IMHO, led to one of the best tirades in a motion picture.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Nothing entitles you to a christmas bonus, but nothing would have been better than a stupid toy. A bonus is a sign of respect for you as an employee and that shows a complete lack of respect.
:)
Considering how the economy is right now, I expect you will see a bunch of "you're lucky you have a job" flames.
Incidently, I got turkey money - a gift certificate for a major supermarket chain. We usually get a bonus if the company sells a certain amount of product, but due to extenuating circumstances (drawn out price negotiations with a major customer which means we'll sell a lot of product next year but didn't hit our forecast at all this year) we won't be getting anything.
And we're fighting off a hostile takeover right now, so I may just get a pink slip for christmas (or have to move to another city, if I'm lucky).
Merry fucking Christmas everyone
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
We get our holiday bonuses after the holidays, because it takes forever to get anything aproved through our parent company.
:)
Nothin' like a christmas bonus in late January
I'm definately not complaining though... I count myself as lucky to be getting anything.
It's fine for the company not to give you a Christmas gift. But a bobble head doll is just in seriously bad taste.
However, don;t like it? Quit and get a new job or start your own company and learn why 90% of businesses fail in their first 2 years.
What company???
But the year before last I worked over xmas break and all I got was Jack Shit.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!
Put the doll on your office desk, get yourself a wooden hammer, and use the doll as stress relief toy.
Incidentally, I got a new CEO for Cristmas.
"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them." -- George H. W. Bush
Sweet Fuck-All.
A fellow engineering student and I were laughing about this, and think we may have a way to derive some enjoyment from the bobble-head gift.
.22 caliber rifle is conservatively similar to a 25 mm anti-aircraft round. Any idea where I'm going with this?
Say that the bobble head doll is six inches tall, and your CEO is six feet tall. This is just an approximation, as I don't have the fortune of either owning any bobble head dolls, or knowing your CEO. This gives us a 1:12 scale.
At this scale, a
Sure, the idea of shooting the thing has occurred to many others already, but it would be more interesting to make an engineering report out of it. Figure out what scaled distance you're shooting from, discuss material differences, apply these to difficulties which may be encountered in a more "real-life" setting, and you've got the makings of a great arrest and restraining order story. Videos could be used to further explicate the point, and different ammunition sizes experimented with to really explore the problem fully.
As a fictitious company I was part of this semester said, "We don't look for problems, we look for solutions".
Erik
I got a pink slip, and unemployment checks.
Christmas party? Present?
You lucky, lucky bastard.
A free scoop of ice cream!
;)
Yeah, I can feel the envy already.... Working for baskin robbins has its perks
Excuse me, I don't mean to impose, but I am the ocean
My brother's boss is toying with the idea of having his staff working on Xmas day. He doesn't celebrate the holiday but they don't get off the holidays he celebrates either.
As long as there is a Second Amendment, there will always be a First Amendment.
What did you give to your bosses and the company owner for allowing you to exchange your labor for money? Oh, nothing? The giving should only flow one way because the company should be thankful that you allow your labor to be purchased for money?
Let me give you a free clue: you will be MUCH more successful when you look at employment as an agreement among equals instead of a master to a purchased slave who pathetically looks for gifts of approval.
Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
I got a real salad bowl. I guess yours is worse ;-)
Wow! I work for the world's largest defence contractor and ALL I GOT WAS A CARD IN THE MAIL!
You should feel lucky...
Blarf.
Pissed? Pissed because someone didn't give you something as nice as you expected. Theres a reason its called a 'bonus'! If you are exxpecting it its not a bonus its called 'pay'.
It could have been a life size doll!
^]:wq!^M
Then sell it as "rare" company memorabilia?
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
so sell your f'n bobble head online. I'm now looking at zero severance package and zero unemployment benifits.
when they ban enctryption only criminals wi$21*J *#JF$%!@#$':
I guess I'm lucky, but I'm working at a really great company that's going nowhere but up, and we all just got handed $500 bonus checks last week.
*Shrug*
Heh... Overtime pay. They want all the equipment that's to be donated to charity donated to charity by December 25 and authorized me to work all the overtime I need to get the job done.
So my company isn't giving me all that much... But those charities are getting early Christmas presents! Pentium 3 450s. Compaqs, but still...
My username does not make me Apathetic. It's irony, get it?
Quit your whining.I'm not even working, thank you very much...I've been out of work for almost four months now. My unemployment "benefits" are going to run out soon, and you are worried about what you got for your Christmas bonus.
And I haven't gotten a Christmas bonus since 1994, and I've made my share of money for my bosses. It didn't chafe, though, because I was paid what I thought was a decent salary.
Be happy you are working - there are plenty of highly qualified people (like me) who are not.
And my school's gift was a 3 day out-of-school suspension for discovering a teacher/student affair that could damage the schools reputation!
Aint dat a kick in da pants!
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
getting a damn doll of the guy who made 65 million last year just makes me angry.
Ha! You just got your account serviced.
It's hard for a leader to ask his followers to do anything that he isn't willing to do himself. How can a CEO credibily cut costs at the company when his own pay is $65 million and he's destributing bobbleheads of himself? Couldn't he live on the still-large pay of $45 million and reallocate the $20 million to softening (not eliminating, just softening) the blow to the rest of the company? Or have companies given up on trying to get employees to be loyal anymore?
Thoswe CEO's make the big bucks because they're enabling their companies to make the big bucks..
Err, I meant you have to pay these people high salaries so they will have no reason to be tempted into unethical behavior..errr..oops.
Wait! It's not really a lot of money! You could only employ 1,000 people at a rate of 64,000 a year with that salary.
these CEO's have driven our economy straight into the ground. There is no longer any justification for the salaries they make. Those thousand workers would contribute money back into their community. I wonder what offshore bank that guy is sending his?
I got a pink slip...
Would you like that cup of STFU now?
Very funny scotty... Now please beam down my PANTS!
Be glad you are employeed, your boss doesnt OWE you a bonus..
Many people are with out jobs.. so grow up and stop whining.
---- Booth was a patriot ----
...and really deserve a spanking from mommy.
A friend of mine works for a small company (Less than 100 employees) that had Christmas party. Later she heard some employees complaining that the food wasn't that good -- yada, yada, yada. It never occured to them that the party cost $40 per person for the company to do. They did not charge the employees, so that $40 per employee came out of the company's pocket (and this isn't a Fortune 500 type company).
Every action we make, everything we say, makes a statement about who we are.
So you didn't even get comped for your parking ticket? Maybe the company already spent $40 OR MORE just so you could be there. What are you saying about yourself by pissing and moaning about this? That whatever you get isn't enough.
So you got a bobble-head of your boss? By giving such gifts, your boss is making a statement about his huge ego. By not just chucking it into the garbage on your way out (or waiting and throwing it out later when nobody would see you), you are saying you would rather whine and moan than just deal with something and move on.
So your boss made $65 million this year and you didn't. We all pity you. After all, it is so hard to get off your butt, get out of your cubicle, and start your own business, so you are the one who determines what you make. Obviously you'd rather complain than do that. And that, you spoiled, lazy, whiney butt, is why the boss is making $65 mill a year -- because he isn't lazy and got off his butt climbed to the top.
I was making less than $20,000 a year and a half ago. I hated it. Now I'm making less, but have contracts that basically mean I'll be making 5 figures by the end of 2003 (that's 5 figures a month -- my own income, not my companies). Let me know your name, so I never hire you. Why? Because I'm working my butt off so one day soon I'll be making $65 mill a year. I want employees who are eager to make more and do well, not people who want to whine and piss and moan about what they don't have or didn't get when their company pays for a Christmas party and they have a job that pays the rent, and they're not on welfare, and they weren't killed in the World Trade Centers on 9/11, and they don't live in a country or location where they are lucky they lived long enough to see their 1st birthday.
Sure, the bobble-head was in poor taste, but complaining about the freebies you got, or complaining because you didn't get enough freebies is just plain childish.
Get over it and grow up!
I got nothing.
As usual.
Oh, that's not quite true. I got a second job so I can continue to pay rent - an inexpensive 1-br apartment.
Be thankful you got a bobble-head doll.
(Of course, I CAN thank Apple, they gave me a free copy of Mac OS X 10.2 Jaguar - thank you Apple!)
In fact, I picked out the exact one with the specs I wanted, and it will be in my hands before Jan 1.
I hope they'll throw in an iPod but I can understand if money is a little tight.
Did I mention I'm self-employed?
But seriously, why did you expect anything that wasn't in your employment agreement? Yeah yeah, the guys at the top give themselves bonuses out the wazoo, etc. But nobody makes you work for them, right?
I was fortunate enough to see the firestorm(he) coming and jump ship before hand. Although they made some cash because of the social plan.
Could be worse...
-Mike
This sig no verb.
- the company actually spends money on thousands of these promotional pieces of junk, money that could have instead been spent on the bottom line, or at least on something that isn't tossed, ignored, and useless.
- someone in the company gets paid to come up with the idea of the bobble-head doll, and other pieces of promotional junk that your typical employee ignores
I mean hey, a gift that shows that people in the company are thinking of you is nice, but these meaningless items reek of the "you are a number" philosophy. It seems like the bigger a company gets, the more likely that it is to generate this kind of landfill.Laid off. :/
Anybody need a perl guy? Will work for cheap! Real cheap.
---freeking hilarious! tell ya whut, sell it at a yardsale, take the cash, slip it in an envelope and mail it to the ceo with a little note "Here, you obviously need this more than me"
heheheheheheh
I make so little(really, joe poverty level, but the tradeoff is I get to live out in the country where it's very nice) I am just glad I still have ANY employment. I probably have to work christmas day as well. No christmas party or anything like that, that's really only for corporations, big businesses, etc. Count your blessings, the economy is tanking generally, official unemployment is 6%, real unemployment is most likely close to double that (maybe, probably)as they DON'T count people off unemployment insurance rolls.
Still cracking up, a bubble head doll. Funniest thing I've heard of in quite a while. Hmm, there's always target shooting! That wiggly head make a nice target at the range! MUAHAHAHAHAA!
I got to reapply for my job and find out right after Christmas if I get to keep it. Oh yeah, and a 15 dollar gift card to a local grocery store. Pretty funny.
I'm glad I get to go home for christmas. A lot of my "coworkers" are in Afghanistan right now.
we call the little peppermints that appeared at the front desk after Thanksgiving "christmas bonuses". that;s about all we get.
saving money for Christmas shopping means canning employees! I got CANNED for Christmas. Canned like a sardine. Like a pickle onion. Like one of those annoying stuffed mooses(sic?) that crappy souvenier stores flog!
Death to Reefer Addicts.
--
Let's see...the first major corp gave us a catalog to choose out of, each year with the company earned you more X-mas Ca$h for the catalog. When they re-combined with the parent company, it was a card.
At my current job, last year was a company dinner at a nice steak house. This year, we get a full day off for Xmas Eve, instead of a half-day.
The best I ever got? I worked for a gas station that gave us all monogrammed, logo'd Mini Mag-Lights.
--
Ahh, I see you've decided to go psycho. Godspeed.
You know -- there are things you could do to that CEO's neck that'd make him move in much the same way...
I got the usual.
Nothing
Zip
Nada
Not even a thank you.
911 dispatch wants to know where to physically find me on xmas and new years tho in case communications go out as I am on call for that, without pay.
Of course I would much rather have nothing compared to your gag gift doll. That's just sick.
. Quit playing Monopoly with Bill. Switch to one of many non-Microsoft products today.
All we got (tinw) was a lousy mug, color something between white and grey printed with the anniversary of the company I work for. It wasn't even filled with candies or so, just a clean mug. I hate mugs.
who thinks that this is a totally made up troll of a submittal? I mean, a bobble head doll of the ceo? I find that extremely unlikely. Not to mention the ceo makes '65 million' crap that is added to try to make it even moer sensational. And if it's posted anonymously, why not a company name associated with it? Troll troll troll...
..you'll get a BB gun for xmas. Then xmas day, you can blow it's little bobbling head off.
That'll make you feel much better..
(Damn the subject line limit!)
I'll get mine in cash, mind.
MT.
-MT.
Today's workplace is an important social structure, but I wouldn't expect it to take the place of real friends and family - and hence I wouldn't expect it to provide me with expensive, soul-enriching presents at christmas time
Kit yourself out like this and buy some sewing needles.
http://jesus.everdense.com/
I switch on, and darkness gives way
to colour. Seen this film, is anything else on?
Press the button and the picture changes
to distant suffering. Millions dead,
yawn, saw this earlier. Press it again.
Ads? I'll watch for a while. Maybe
there'll be something on in a minute.
I got laid-off from AOL/Time warner. In the folder with the severance package paperwork, they had the audacity to put an AOL cd. I shit you not. I was really fucking offended by that.
Funny thing is, is this was just the kick in the ass I needed to get the hell out of the tech field anyhow. Sometimes you just hit your artistic and creative limits, and need to move on.
a nice party (as usual) w/ valet parking.
Oh...and some companies ARE giving bonuses. Our fiscal year ends in March, so Apr 1 will deliver a 6% bonus. The irony of it being April Fool's day is not lost on the bosses.
I am thankful that I have a job. And for those that do not, visit odd todd.
We all got $25 gift certificates to the supermarket. Now that is what I call cheap. I won't mention the name of the company where I work, but here at the Red Cross (damn, it slipped) they are the tightest company I ever worked for. Yeah yeah, I know they are a charity, but keep in mind that no one wants to work for free, and I work for the blood services division as a lab tech. They pay us around $14 an hour to test blood. They test thousands of units each day and each one gets sold, not donated, for around $120. Our division is non-profit in name only, they make money hand over fist. I don't think we're even having a Christmas party. Just last week our lab made a certain goal, and the Director of Testing told us he was going to have a party when we hit the goal. Well we hit the goal and he's not giving us the promised party because he couldn't get permission to expense it! Bastards.
Karma: Excellent (In Soviet Russia, karma pimps YOU)
This year, I got my boss a nice present. I went in her office, shut the door, closed the blinds, and fucked her brains out.
Quit being so selfish you little snotnosed BITCH.
Damn, I just used my last mod point on another story!
I feel sorry for everyone who got jacked. But to make you feel worse, I got bombed drinking some very fine spirits, had an excellent dinner, and a free ride home.
Oh yeah...I also got a $500 bonus check...perhaps I'll pick up an iPod
We had a potluck lunch and a coat drive, which is the exact opposite of what we had during the .com boom, which was a mega bash (rented a hotel, the whole hotel and boozed it up till the weeee hours) and a nice heafty bonus. So I guess all I recieved this year was my job.
One company I used to work for handed out copies of the CEO's autobiography. At least the bobble-head doll is kinda funny.
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." --Groucho Marx
in a few years, after the CEO gets indicted for securities fraud, insider trading, what-have-you, it might be worth a few bucks on eBay. :-)
Great. He said he'll "save 'em for St. Patrick's day and see what the green shake tastes like from the other side of the counter."
My girlfriend just got sent to prison for drugs.
Look at it this way Mike, you got a Bobble Head doll and he got ONLY 65 Million...
:-)
Just be thankful the guy doesn't end up biling you out of your retirement as well...
-Hack
PS: Take a pay cut and send it too the guy and plead with him NOT too...after all, he probably is working on his third home and that employee 401K/Retirement plan probably looks pretty juicy!
Got Geometrodynamics? Awe, too hard to figure out? Too bad.
Instead of the bobble, I'd rather the CEO just walk around and hand out a $10 bill each. Sounds like a marketing type came up with that idea.
I got free pizza when we worked all weekend. Oh, and we all got our pre-Christmas vacations cancelled.
Just a friendly reminder...
1. Pass out bobble-head dolls of the CEO to all employees. ...
2.
3. PROFIT!!
Well, we got two short glasses with our company logo on them. They should go nicely will the two tall glasses with our company logo I got Last year
Next year I hope I get two glass plates with our company logo on them to complete the set.
In Soviet Russia, Trojan exploits YOU!
How about a link? Of course the first resume submitted should mention First Post...
So did I, and the first thing he did was to say that he PERSONALLY had to sign off on everyones' christmas bonus (amongst other things)!
I got a steaming cup of jack squat. But that's what I get for going to Grad school. My wife who teaches highschool will also recieve jack. So dont' think cause you have a job you deserve a bonus for nothing more then showing up for work all year. A great deal of us show up for work without a bonus.
I am currently underemployed (normally a Net admin) driving a forklift at a distribution wharehouse for a home improvement store. They have a very annoying commercial mascot. A bobble head of this annoying man was sent out to the employees(this company sounds alot like MY NARDS, which is what they can suck for giving such unadulterated crap). We also get a gift certificate to one of their stores of varying amounts depending how long one has been with the company(another craptacular gift that costs them almost nothing).
WE RECEIVE 100% RAISE IN WAGES...FOLLOWED BY A 50% DEVALUATION OF THE RUBLE BY THE CENTRAL BANK
My point: You can bonus me $1.98 for the year if you feel like it, but nail it to some objective performance measurement.
Memo to management: You want better results? Give people something to aim for and then clearly explain what the reward is for exceeding goals.
(Now, having said all that, I have to add: The bobblehead thing would have had me sending out resumes in a heartbeat. It's one thing for management to lack clues; it's another thing entirely for them to be mean-spirited.
"It was a summer's tale: Just a boy, his Linux, and a head full of dreams..."
What's a bonus? My employer has never given out bonuses, and never will. But, since I don't expect one, it's not a let down. I suppose it's different if you're relying on getting one.
Every year we receive a different style of Bic "clicky" pen with the company logo on it. I've started a display on my wall with each pen and the year it was received. Pretty pathetic now that I stop and think about it.
The chance to watch 95% of the software team I work with get the boot !
Where I work, non-executives got a 10% "holiday/end-of-year" bonus, because we made the numbers we were expected to make.
Not too bad.
Executives did not get the 10% holiday bonus.... but then again, they get a lot of hidden bonuses and perks.
Hosted an xmas party at his house for the staff. Thought it was a pretty nice gesture. Only two problems: It's hell-and-far-gone from where I live (3 hours round-trip), and I was sick as a dog.
I didn't go. But the thought was nice.
N.
"Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence." - Charles de Gaulle
Surely this is the ideal opportunity to learn voodoo and with an ideal practice subject!
Given how many of my friends who had good jobs in engineering have become unemployed this year, or have had to take lousy jobs for low pay, I'm quite happy to still have a good job at a decent salary.
If they gave me a bobble-head doll of the CEO, I'd be pissed of, but because they wasted the money, not because I thought I should have gotten a better bonus.
If the company's situation improves next year, and we actually make a profit, it would certainly be nice if they did give us a bonus, or throw a nice party. But a bonus is a gift that should be freely given by the company, not something that employees should have a right to expect.
On a mostly unrelated note, at the company meeting this week we had a white elephant gift exchange. Out of about forty-five gifts in the exchange (which were supposed to cost under $5 each), there were only six gifts I thought were reasonably nice: two bottles of wine (which I don't drink), a brass desk set, a candy dish (glass or cystal, I didn't look at it) and a book and a CD which I already have. The rest were pretty grim. Two people wrapped up packages of cookies out of the free snack machine at work, and one person wrapped up a single dry erase market. The one I got was arguably even less worthwhile: a 1989 Fodor's travel guide for Yugoslavia. But the gift I entered wasn't a whole lot better, so I can't complain. That's the nature of a white elephant gift exchange.
HR teams who are convinced the team would love "balloons" across the room or something rather than a cash incentive.
I worked in a very small team in an ISP helpdesk for about 18 months, during that period of time at one point the company which owned us opted to spend 600$ (AUD) on helium filled balloons, some cake and some bottles of coke for the team for morale / congratulations purposes.
Now since there was only 16 team members total, I felt quite pissed that they simply didn't get me a 20$ voucher, 20$ cash, 2 movie tickets or something else.
When will companies learn that MONEY TALKS to some people - there's no better pat on the back than someone saying "here we like you, we respect you and to reward you we will pay you a little more"
20$ isn't much but it's better than a desk covered with fucking balloons.
Damn HR departments.....
I'm not trying to shift blame from the CEO, but I think it would be more likely to pin this one on some guy high up in the marketing dept. trying to kiss up to the CEO
It cost me $40 just to go to the company party!
The company did kick in about half for the party, and they had door prizes. But, no one got a bonus. (or, no one at my level got a bonus...)
I don't know who wishes the CEO so much bad, but with so many Voodoo dolls out there, he will probably have to resign before the end of the year.
I get to spend Christmas Day in front of a computer coding away for the 'Man'.
Its HIS company, he can paint the walls pink and wear fuzzy slippers if he wants ..
It may be counterproductive *and* ruin moral, but hes entitled to do whatever he pleases, as long as its legal..
---- Booth was a patriot ----
UNEMPLOYMENT..the gift that gives weekly!
you sound like a little whiney pussy. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU BITCH!!! you desperately need to have your ass kicked, and then RAPED by a rather large and smelly nigger. you should be grateful you're employed. there are those of us who are less fortunate so QUIT SHOOTING YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH OFF i hope you get your skull bashed in you pathetic son of a bitch. if you don't like your gift, then you can just fuck off. FFFFFFUUUUUCKKKKKKK YYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Your CEO
Like last year, I'll be getting nothing but extra work assignments for Christmas. All of the "lifers" and pointy-haired bosses usually use the rest of their five weeks or so of vacation at the end of the year, which means that I end up covering their projects while they're gone. Oh well, at least it's quiet in the office around the holidays.
I'd imagine that most people in the IT industry got simularly screwed, so it probably isn't work complaining about it. At least you can sell your Larry Ellison bobble head doll on eBay, or just use it for target practice.
So what, you got a stupid doll. STFU and stop your balling. What makes you think you should get anything other than a paycheck?
/. when he get's a stupid doll as a Christmas bonus.
The company you work for needs to throw you out on your silly ass and hire someone who's not going to be bothered enough to write
So, they didn't validate your parking. How much free food did you shovel into your fat belly is what I want to know?
Wha fucking wha!
I kid you not: a steel bolt and a used rat trap. From my boss. Thankfully he threw the rat away before wrapping the trap up. Asshole.
The middle mind speaks!
A "bobblehead of the CEO" is just hilarious. He must have a big head too. =) I can't imagine anybody having a that high of an opinion of themsevles to think everybody else would like a doll. Heck, it took over 2000 years to get a Jesus Christ action figure (we have them here in Toronto anyways). Usually any type of momument made to somebody is reserved for other people to do after the person dies. Is your boss maybe dying of something?
Did you get any of his hair or spit with the doll? Perhaps they were being considerate of your feelings after all.
A hard dick and some bubble gum. Thats all you get
All I can say is "thank goodness!" they took away our water coolers in September! Who needs hydration when you've got style and fowl?
The term "pissed" in the UK refers to the state of being smashed out of your skull on whichever booze is available. However in today's politically correct times, that's not an option.
That's the best present a company can give it's employees at christmas. Think of it as team building.
Lets PARTY!
Government of the people, by corporate executives, for corporate profits.
I got... rostered to work Christmas day.
Just what I always wanted.
So damn witty, they only let me use half.
Wish I'd have gotten one.
Now that the IT market is in the crapper, our company probably feels obliged to the stockholders to cut expenses a bit. Unfortunately bonuses were done away with years ago (when the market was great, go figure), so they cannot cut those. So... we don't get any raises, for the second year in a row. That kinda hurts; the inflation over last two years was 4,5% anually. Oh yes, we should be happy to have a job, right? Well, soon a number of us won't have one; there's another round of layoffs coming on top of the last one.
Funnily enough, in this terrible market our company is still making a profit in IT! We're outperforming most or all of our competitors, and the thank-you we got from the company was just that: a letter from the CEO thanking us.
My real worry is how long our profitability will last though. This may piss of everyone to the point that they'll start leaving. While management may think that they'll get rid of some headcount for free, it'll be the good people leaving, the ones that are 1) competent, and 2) chargable, ie. they bring in more than they cost. The good ones go first because they'll have little trouble finding jobs in other companies.
The point to my little rant? Nothing... except keeping your employees happy is important and has an associated cost, same as renting the building, greasing palms of the clients, and what have you. To all you people who say "be glad you have a job, whiner", I say this: pissing the employees off hurts the company as well. If you hope for a big effort from them to turn things around when times are bad, you would do well to motivate them rather than fob them off.
If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
MS CEO and Chief Software Thief...I mean Architect Bill Gates. Remember, he's still CEO...Ballmer is President.
3 years ago, we got big bonuses. The year after that, we got $50 gift certificates. Last year, we got nothing. This year, we got laid off. Now quit complaining!
Especially considering that companies must lower costs. If it was a bigger company then it might be different....oh and I only get christmass day off. I guess thats the down part.
http://saveie6.com/
Then, the CEO can suck your dick for a change!
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
I got a money clip last year.
"Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
I would say you are overlooking the one single fact that has been brought up time and again in this forum so far (so mod me down for Redundancy):
You get your 'bonus' everytime you get paid.
You get your 'bonus' everytime you can take a day off from work because you are sick...knowing you can just chalk it up to 'sick leave' and still get paid for that day
Your bonus is not having to worry about anything breaking because you don't know where the money would come from to fix it, or when it would even BE fixed.
Your 'bonus' is knowing that on Monday, you get to go to work.
I will trade you in a minute for your bonus...if it comes with a real job.
You keep going until you die..."Me".
That's right. Mirrors.
These mirrors were placed on the desks in the call center next to every computer, and on them were printed the words, "They hear what you see!"
I'm very tall, compared to most ordinary people. In my standard working position, I couldn't see exactly what the wizards who dreamed up this nonsense thought I should see.
"They can hear my nipples?" I asked my supervisor.
Remove the caps and hold to a mirror.
hey, all you folks complaining about getting laid off and mentioning that this guy should be glad to have received the fscking gift. get real. the poster was asking *employed* people for their comments.
:)
what you people are doing here is like saying "sure your wife is ugly but at least you have a wife. be grateful".
and yes, i expect an ipod as a company gift.
I got $240 bonus check and a $25 gift cert to the local supermarket.
Bonuses are calculated at 230 + 10$ for every 5 years with the company (I've been there six years). The gift cert replaced the need to get us a ham or a turkey in their eyes. But we used to get bonuses in the 700-1500$ range, a ham, and a party with open bar. You could bring a guest and it was at this nice country club so I am guessing 80$-100$ value before bar tab per employee.
My IT department decided to turn all of our christmas bonuses into a tax deductable donation to charity. They of course give us the ability to provide input as to which charity they will choose, but we cannot ask to get cash ourselves (why would anyone do that!).
I personally think it's disgusting.
I live in a giant bucket.
Heh, Larry Ellison. The Shogun of Software himself. My Gates guess was way off. Still, the idea of a Billy G bobblehead is funnier. Or even better...a skating BillG doll! That falls down all the time! AHHAAAHAHAHAHA!!!
As a low level wharehouse worker at UPS, I got a 14lb turkey. My freezer isn't very big so I better start cooking these things....
I got a week full of tests, papers, projects and general work. Not only do I not get a party or a bonus I don't even get paid. I have to pay the school for the privilege of being able to get more work.
I understand the resentment at having to pay for parking to attend some worthless company party and recieve tacky, self-serving gifts. I'd feel the same way. Students don't even get that chance though. We're busting our asses right now to study for finals and finish up projects. Feel free to complain, but don't forget that some of us (unemployed and/or college students) are even worse off than you are.
Then again, most of us probably couldn't even afford the parking.
You should tell your story and submit a picture of the doll and a real picture of the CEO to a Fark.com or somethingawful.com photoshop contest.
Make sure he sees the thread after the photoshoppers get ahold of this.
For more fun redirect your INTERNAL DNS so the intranet and external site redirects to the thread.
I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people. - Jack Handey
haven't had a christmas bonus in 3 years (which was actually the first year at my company, and i'd only been working 3 weeks!)...
we've tightened up - the age old excuse that were too big for christmass pressies now... but meh, i don't complain, its not as if christmas really matters anyway
So an Xmas bonus from him is especially inappropriate. My worst gifts would be a) a bottle of chili-pepper flakes, and b) one of those 99 cent sponge/nerf puzzles that you assemble into a cube. For fucks sake, they GIVE those away at tradeshows. Anyway, maybe Larry was sad at being mutinied from his own racing boat, hence the ego boosting bobble heads.
1) the new CEO can shit out the cash to rent a ballroom to give a "Hi, my name is ${whatever}, and let's some arrange some deck chairs on the Titanic" speech, but we can't cough up enough money to have a christmas party. The humorous part is that the speech ballroom was in the same hotel we had our christmas party last year.
2) a potluck christmas party? yeah, we'll be lucky if someone doesn't poison the food...
3) bonus? yeah right...the oldtimers talk about them, but I've never actually seen one.
at least I didn't get one of those dolls...I would have burned it as an effigy, right after submitting my 2 weeks noticing and smashing in that asshole's luxury car's windows.
PC moderators can suck my White pierced, tattooed dick. If you think pride == hate, s/dick/Aryan meat mallet/g.
We had our office Christmas party last week. We (the employees) were told beforehand that it would be a "combined" Christmas party for both the clients and us. The employees ended up working all night at the party but we had a good time anyways. Telling us that it was a combind party could be construed as a bit of a dirty trick because it was obviously for the clients. But it could be argued either way; it was just "different" this year. We understand that the business really needs to get some contracts and money, so we are okay with it. Otherwise we might not have a company to work at next year.
I guess that if the unemployment agency allows me to file an extension at the end of December then that'll be my Christmas bonus.
My boss buys a new 4000 square foot house, hires 2 of his old friends, and lays me off for christmas.
Merry Christmas,
Colin
We had a christmas banket I remember well.
After they had distributed all the nice gadgets (they got from customers, of course, not that they bought any) to the managers, there was a fruit plate (with fruits) left.
I got a single lychee. No kidding.
There are fewer illiterates than people who can't read.
I got a new cell phone (Motorolla T720 - 256 color display and stuff) and an extremely nice jacket from Lands End with the company logo on it. We've only been around for a year, so I am personaly extemely pleased. I wasn't expecting anything. Unless your contract guarantees a bonus, you shouldn't expect anything at all, I think.
Sig.i>
One year, right after the merger between UBS and SBC, we had to go to the post office to collect an item from the bank. It turned out to be our employee Christmas card... by registered mail... strange... then I opened it up: 30g of gold was in there! Two little bars from the previous two banks, and a 20g bar from the merged bank.
The London employees were pissed off... they got really tacky watches, blue ones for the men, red ones for the ladies...
Oddly right in the middle of the whole Nazi gold thing too... oh well... the Swiss are good folks but political correctness isn't always high on their list... and shown in both cases...
I got a new TFT monitor & HD for home, plus £1000 cheque, and the all expenses company xmas party (dinner, drinks and a club).
Flip Side of that is the same week I got my whole weekend cancelled to go bug hunting for an obscure bug, that turned out to be a hardware fault and not it's 23:40 and it looks like an all nighter trying to code round the fault.
So - you get the bonus, but every company want's it's pound of flesh in return.
No bonus or "we value you" type perks, and you can tell 'em to go f*ck when they want all nighters in the run up to xmas. Get a bonus, and you gotta start shuvelling when the sh*t hits the fan.
It's part of the deal you make when you enter the industry...
+++ BASELINE REALITY FAILURE+++ +++ PLEASE REBOOT UNIVERSE +++
I got fired. Out of a job. The bookstore that I work at to pay monstrous upcoming college tuition bills is going out of business in three weeks.
:}
Still, it looks as though I'm not the only one. I foresee this comment field metamorphosing into one big Slashdot pity party.
You drink too much coffee, I drink too much stout.
You obviously don't know the difference between whining about free stuff and demanding respect. The bobblyhead doll is an insult to someone who's been working their tail off all year. Nothing would have been better.
I hope I never have to share the same room with such a self-righteous aloof twit as you.
Fully licensed blockchain psychiatrist
My Christmas party is tonight (less than an hour from now actually) and I'm skipping. Why? Because the Christmas party will consist of: 1) rhetoric from the CEO about how we're going to change the world and how great our management team is. 2) a public butt kissing marathon from other execs striving to impress the management team and my personal favorite 3) boring, lame, stupid games that bore me to tears. This all going on at the same time that my group (network and applications support) has saw a decrease from 4 warm bodies to 2 while the workload and expectations have increased. We run our firewall and mail servers off ancient former desktop machines that were leftovers and when we got them they had posties on them saying things like "not stable" and "crashes often". Of course, the MCSD's get new servers every couple of years and always the latest and greatest software from Redmond, of course they don't have to answer the phone when the mail server goes down. One final nit pick is that sitting in on a development meeting I saw someone humiliated by the VP and head of development when she suggested that perhaps we should spend some time to build reusable code libraries instead of having 10 versions of logging and authentication functions. The VP thought this was "stupid" and that RAD (compile, test, debug, fix) is the only way to develop code, after all most software projects fail anyway, so why spend any more than the absolute minimum required time. Consequently, "our" code is neither commented nor indented. Functions tend to be thousands of lines long, globals all over the place along with some GOTO statements. The irony of code quality versus failed software projects seems lost on them. Sigh. I'll shut up now, I feel better.
Whoever posted that complaint about recieving his bosses bobble head doll should shut the fuck up. He should be thankful to be employed. I work for a small county and right now were in a 8% budget crunch, so were all sitting on pins waiting for pink slips, which some people have already recieved.
...what is a "bobble-head doll"??
Perhaps someone can give an approximate Australian translation of this term??
now they are dragging their feet on my pension.
photosMy Photostream
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Shouldn't this be from the "Whaa Fuckin' Whaa" dept?
Dumbass. The joke of the message (I'm going to spell it out for you) was that the poster of the message was suggesting the guy quit his job... so he could take it himself.
(Why am I replying to an AC? It's not like AC's ever check responses to their comments... oh well, the message is written and, damnit, I'm going to post it...)
Since our company is >50% owned by Kodak Asia Pacific, we always get a single roll of film, every year.
Except 1999, when we got a disposable camera - to take pictures of any New year's eve cellebratations we might be part of(yay Kodak)
We also usally get a profit share bonus either just before or just after Christmas, which is dependant on the board approving it, and on company and branch perfomance (50% based on company perfomance, 25 % based on branch profit target, 25 % based on branch customer satisfaction).
We all know in advance if it's going to happen, so there's not any nasty suprise when it doesn't (but still disapointment of course).
Advanced users are users too!
Two extra days off without pay, I guess they will save a fortune having the lights off on those two days. Yeh, I know whose lights, I'd like to put out!
Is better than what this guy is gonna get.
This past week was layoff time. 4 people I know got hit. My bonus this year: keeping my job. OUr bosses are taking us out to a bar next week, which is more than my previous boss did at my other position (we got a card, and if we wanted to attend the xmas party, we had to buy tickets). Needless to say with the layoffs, the mood will probably be gloomy.
It's better to burn out than to fade away
If you don't have a job, but are still able to afford the time and internet connection(and computer and living space to put said computer in) to bitch on slashdot about it then it's about time to stop whining. There are people with real problems on this planet and they probably aren't sitting inside writing about it on their new laptop over the spiffy wireless connection they just set up.
In a Capitolist society, the bosses give gifts to the workers. In the US Federal (socialistic) society, the workers give gifts to their "overseers".
I am a little puzzled as to what enviroment the author is *really* in...
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
Being a long-time contract developer has its benefits - but company perks ain't one of them!
.. and I got absolutely squat. 'Course, I'm a contractor. I'm supposed to get squat.
They are throwing us a Christmas party, though.. at a bowling alley. At least they're buying the beer. Personally, I'd be more than happy to pass up the party if it means getting benefits.. or leave... or a permanent gig. Right now, it's no work == no pay. The only thing I'm getting is the privilege to go back to work on Monday.
getting my contract renewed/extended. That's all I want from my boss/employer especially during this downturn. :)
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I got nothing. Nothing at all.
You, you lucky bastard, got all that, and an insult! Is your company hiring?
The REAL jabber has the user id: 13196
What you do today will cost you a day of your life
The only Christmas bonus I can recall getting is a gift certificate to Sears.
I was priveleged to take a week of vacation time or not get paid. Merry Christmas!
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
-- Pablo Picasso
My first year I got a nice christmas bonus. Mu send year I got a mini stocking containing various gift basket sorts of things (this was kind of weird). Each of these two years, we had a big holiday lunch. The next year (2000) I recieved a monogrammed foux-leather business card holder and a gift certificate ($10) to BestBuy. In subsequent years folks got nothing at all (or nothing that I remember - there may have been a few holiday lunches paid for by various departments).
I now work at an academic institution where I've been attending various holiday parties every day last week and there are a few next week as well. I'm not sure if there are holiday bonuses or other things to come.
--CTH
--Got Lists? | Top 95 Star Wars Line
I work at an educational R&D lab of about 1200 technical people. We mainly do DoD contract projects. The most we get for xmas is a lab wide get together in the lab. It usually includes little sweet snack foods and not much else. They had chicken fingers the year before, but no more. My group has a pot luck xmas party. While that's ok, we also don't get anything else through out the year, except maybe a little ice cream.
After interning at Microsoft it was quite a change to go from the day to day bennies they offered to absolutely nothing. Like the story poster I don't really have to worry about my job, since DoD work is fairly slow and steady as far as the work force, but it would be nice is companies like mine realized that a small amount of effort really does go a long way.
"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." - Emily Dickinson
Well my company must be doing good, because we get a raffle, open bar, and "Santa" will make a cameo to give gifts to the kids.
Sucks to be you man, suggestion, M80 + duct tape + bobble head. Sounds theriputic to me!
wow, and i work for a company worth 16 billion CDN and has at keast 10000 employees.
What I got this year... a pick slip. Still, this is better than last year. I didn't get anything last year except a missed paycheque. Heh.
Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.
The unemployment office let me keep the pen!
Table-ized A.I.
...you do it on company time.
Our company gives out a $200 bonus, plus $50 for each year at the company. A Christmas ham and a box of mixed citrus fruit. We have very little turnover.
Working IT jobs that pay you 45-50K/year or more?
If so, shut up you make enough money as it is, and your high salaries are probably WHY you don't get bonuses.
I make way less than anything like that, but I work for a non-IT corporation, it's (gasp) profitable, has been experiencing growth, has great benefits, and it's a job I can go to every day and say "I love my job"
Even if I didn't get any monetary bonus, that's pretty good to me.
I think a lot of you people just like to complain and pine for what you don't have, rather than realize that you're probably in a better situation than 80-90 percent of the rest of the country.
and for what it's worth, everyone where I work got 500 bucks, a nice thanksgiving dinner (on work hours!) and a couple of other things, along with the satisfaction of knowing that we work for a pretty decent place to work at.
We just had our party this Friday. Sad to say, not many from the tech realm showed up. Regardless...we all got gold-plated at-a-boys. Which is to say, nothing. If you don't really want that bobble head...it'd look good under my tree? Whatya say?
The only time I got Christmas bonuses was in for meaning less jobs before I got into the industry. After getting into the industry yearly bonuses is was what companies would give out based on corporate performance. On Christmas if we got anything it was from our department management, nothing big, but appreciated.
I didn't mind getting the bird (couldn't resist) as I love turkey and it was only part of our package but it was slightly surreal queuing up in the underground car park of a London office building having, (ahem) lunched well at the local hostelry, to collect a 14lb bird to take home on the tube in the Christmas rush hour.
I hereby inform you that I have NOT been required to provide any decryption keys.
I wonder if FuckedCompany.Com knows about this?
we have 2 christmas parties and also get a nice bonus.
"Give someone a program, frustrate them for a day... Teach someone to program, frustrate them for a lifetime."
Our employer used to give each employee a
turkey for the holidays.
Now we get a $10US coupon at a local grocery.
At least with the coupons enough get discarded
to buy a decent amount of beer.
...my company didn't even invite me to the christmas party!
If so, that's the reason the CEO does so well! He blows all the people over him....
a bunch of interrupted vacation days, and a gift cert to a local grocery store so i could buy some beers and forget it all. or maybe it was for food. i forget.
maybe one day i'll be smart enough to come up with a cool sig, too.
I got a fleece vest with the company logo :P I also :(
got chocolate and a party with an open bar. Not bad,
considering that I'm a consultant. No $$$, though.
Oh yeah, and I got a cassette player. I think that was a joke. I mean... magnetic tape? What's that for?
Why not let your redneck cousin kidnap him and bring him to you in a big red bow! That way he can see the error of his ways and give you a huge bonus.
"I drank what?" -Socrates
i work at a warehouse, and last year i got a box full of food. some packages of thin-sliced ham and pastrami, a tiny steak, some smoked salmon, crab paste, pickled herring, some chocolate cookies and other stuff. in general - food that i never eat. they funny part was that i was sick the last working day before christmas, and they placed my box of food in a cold storage room used for storing 35mm film. i came back to work at the third of january, and it took them two or three days to remember that they had a christmas gift for me. and much of the food was already past the best before date.. sucks?
If, like me, the Fortune 500 company you work for doesn't give you a Christmas present or bonus or even a card this year. Help yourself to some company property, I already have a large box of toilet paper, large jar of coffee, box of sticky tape, 3 old pagers, an office chair, an elderly secretary, that blue stuff they put in urinals and a whole stack of coffee mugs 'liberated'.
Merry christmas Mr CEO!
"Following my company's Christmas party on Friday, I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO! Needless to say I was PISSED."
Then what you need is a voodoo bobble head doll of the company CEO.
yep, merry xmas. Got laid off. Company owes me a shitload of money, and I'm flat broke. Monday I get to go see about what legal recourse I've got to get them to pay me. Ho ho ho merry xmas.
pay check that cashes. Which is more than I can say for the company I was working for last christmas.
They at least give us 2 days off for Christmas, which is nice.
It's a pagan holiday celebrating the winter solstice. The start of a new year.
Go check your dates, people.
Government of the people, by corporate executives, for corporate profits.
Just imagine how much liability a company would open themselves up to by getting everyone an iPod. Can you say piracty central? :P
"Uh yes Apple, we'd like to order 500 iPods and notify the DMCA that they can raid us in about a week. Thanks."
"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." - Emily Dickinson
We got $20 Amazon gift certificates and played bingo/name drawings for 6 $100 gift certificates good at our local mall. Oh well...
I am not knowing what is this "Christmas" of which you are speaking. Maybe I am not knowing because this "Christmas" is being a holiday in America.
I am living in Madras, India, and I am writing code for 250 rupees per hour. (That is convertable to almost $5.19 US dollars!) I am proud to say that I am doing the job of three American coders! I know this because those three transitioned their code to me before they were laid off for lack of work.
It is just too bad that those three have still not found work, but I hear from several of my cousins that there are many jobs driving taxis in America. Or perhaps they can get jobs in the growing sector of buggy-whip production. But no man can stand in the way of progress, or in the way of CEOs who must make profits, and salaries at least 30 times that of their average employee!
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
In Soviet Russia Bobble head dolls hand out you!
... all I got was a 6.4% tuition hike, plus an extra $2,000 differential slapped on professional programmes (ie: medicine, engineering, law).
This at a publicly-run institution that posted a profit last year. Makes me feel loved...
In Soviet Russia, sig types you!
Blind Willy's was a bad idea...but we all knew that.
I work for a consulting firm and 89 of us got laid off.
The rest of those left are getting a 2-day all hands meeting which usually entails a great meal and open bar somewhere. Oh, and all flown in from all over the country.
Personally, I would rather have seen them skip the all hands meeting and let a few people keep their jobs for the holidays!
...nobody has posted this link yet?
We got $10 Gift Certificates from our local Chamber of Commerce. But, as I'm a co-op, this doesn't bother me too much. (Except for the fact that my job is one of the most stressfull in my organization, exceded only by the 'real' employees in my department. What department is this you ask? Why, Tech Support of course.
I see many people complaining that they didnt get a bonus, or some that did, but it wasnt near what the C-people got, and yet a whole other group of wankers who think nobody deserves a bonus. The cimple soultion seems to be that if your company gives bonuses, that it be fair, if you busted your ass all year long, and your coworker didnt, you should rightly get a bigger bonus. This of course relies on someone making MORE than you to be honest. Fat chance, pal. The simpler solution seems to be the one that Whole Foods (the healthy food store) employs. Everyone in the company, from the CEO, down to the stokers, knows how much everyone else makes, tends to keep everyone honest and working hard. Not overworking, mind you, just working hard for the money they are earning. Certainly puts a creative form of peer pressure into play, doesnt it?
"See, we plan ahead! That way, we never have to do anything now."
jack & shit.
--meh--
``What did you get from your Company for Christmas?''
You should *not* have asked that! My boss got me a new car, free high speed Internet access for a year, decorations for the christmas tree, a 13th and 14th month bonus, and a bottle of wine. There. You asked for it!
Please correct me if I got my facts wrong.
We get our annual bonuses in May but here's the deal so far. We're graded on a 1-2-3 scale w/ 1 being th highest. Usually 10% get 1 while about 15-20% get 3 which is a subtle "Get another goddamn job message.
This year we've told that there is basically no money, but instead of simply adjusting the payout per grading we're told that no one will get a 1, 60% will get a 2 and the remainder, 40% will get a 3 which this year carries no bonus at all. The pool for the 2's will be cut in half. Now if you were counting on a 1 you were probably expecting a 15%-20% payout (20-25% for same grade if you are a manager), which this year will be reduced to a 2 grading which itself will be cut in half to about 5% payout. And the rest of everyone else gets a "YOU SUCK" rating that goes in the HR record. Which is just fucking lovely if you want to transfer internally and your last evaluation was "YOU SUCK".
They could avoid this by giving everyone the same rating they were supposed to get and simply tell everyone that there are basically no bonuses this year except for those with the Godlike powers of the glowing green sun of Krypton. Instead they've turned the workforce into a brutal Darwinian game where everyone trods on the skulls of their fallen enemies.
God I love this business, give me a grail of human blood!!!
I got a tube of Victoria Secret hand lotion, which my wife loved, and a audio CD, Old Navy's Haunted Hits. Whoohooo!
-Mike
Quite frankly we should just be happy that we have jobs and the ability to make ends meet. I am working a rather hard job, I am the grunt, the guy that gets all the hard jobs, the jobs that nobody else wants to do. I am however thankful for my job, and would never be anything but grateful for being able to do it. Each year there is a company Christmas party, in no way did I expect to be invited, however this weekend I was suprised to have been. It won't be a great, extravagent party, however it's the thought that counts right! :)
Be thankful guys, if your boss is an ass that gives you a "bobble head doll of himself" just be grateful that you are able to work under him, and you get paid for what you do.
Make a bobble-head doll of yourself and send it to the CEO free of charge! That'll teach 'em.
I almost feel sorry for all of you. This year everyone in our IT dept (all 10 of us) got a $5000 bonus each.
Do you know how much they pay the Menard's guy/girl that appears in their ads?
Try $4000.00/week for actual shooting, plus a royalty of $7.00 each time the ad plays. How many thousands of times does a Menard's ad run? Oh, about 800 TV stations times 10 times each per day for 365 days.
Nice trick if you can turn it. By the way, the woman is a family member. Bet she'll find a nice gift under her plate at the family get-together Christas day!
I got as much toilet paper and office supplies as I could carry!
I guess I'm the only one here that actually got a good bonus.
I'm a lead software developer at one of the leading enterprise software companies, and I was given a $33,000 USD retention bonus so that I won't leave the company until at least January 2004. It also acts as a severance bonus, so if they ever did lay me off, I would get the $33K immediately, regardless of any severance pay and vacation. They also gave me 7500 options.
I'm currently making over $100K, but a $33K bonus is pretty good in this day and age.
Yes, it occured to me as well.
If it's a company large enough to warrant a $65mil CEO then there must be a pile of these out there and surely someone could verify the story. Certainly at a company with that much money behind it, and the number of people that would be involved in such a company, and the friends who might hear of the doll, there would be more than one slashdot reader willing to come forward (non-anon at that).
Where's the link to an image? Where's the slashdotting of some innocent's poor server? Where's the jokes about a beowulf cluster of these? Oh wait, now it's that damned russian joke going on and on and on. Anyways where's the evidence.
or, it could be a troll.
right now I'm betting on the latter
Although I do realise that the main thrust of this story is the question 'what is your company doing for you this christmas?'
As for myself, a job would be nice. Anybody hiring graphic designers?
RTFM; please, I beg you.
We are in a bit of striff finacialy here so every one has been told to not have a Xmas party, so i have only been to one and we will have ours this week.
Xmas bonuses are not really part of the Australian culture so i'm not doing to bad.
Access Point Live Mapping Access Points with Google
You know what my Christmas bonus is this year? I still have a job.
I just said goodbye to another wave of laid off co-workers on Friday. Yeah, Friday, as in less than two weeks before the guy in the red suit is supposed to come.
Suck it up princess.
Ugh... I have been going downhill since 1999.
1999: Bonus was 120% of my annual salary(yes, times were great)
2000: Bonus was 75% of my annual salary(yes, times were still pretty good)
2001: No bonus; I was laid off, but got 6 months severance (Not bad, considering...)
2002: No bonus; I was laid off and got nothing at all. (This is the Grinch Christmas)
I guess 2004 will have to be better than this.
P.S. Need a Net. Admin.? Look at my resume: Resume for Patrick Anderson
You could be one of the thousands at SBC that were laid off... just after SBC announced record profits.
Or you could be a cube warior at Gateway, 5 days unpaid leave. Or one of the folks at AOHell that's getting a nice pink card for Xmas.
Sure, it sucks you aren't getting a bonus. Think of continued employment as a bonus. Yes. That helps.
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
At MSN, I recieved the best christmas present ever. I was fired, then given a falsified R.O.E. that stops me from being able to collect any form of Employment Insurance. Ho Ho Ho Bill, merry fuckin christmas.
If this guy could get an article about bad presents, that make make others notice.. And maybe even list some company names in that article, I'm sure the management people of those companies might realize how stupid they acted and might just give out better presents next year.
There is no rule .. like mob rule :)
Sunny Dubey
I'm gonna get a week off for X-mas. Of course I'll be working 12 hour shifts for seven days the week after that. Not worth it at all if you ask me.
Instead, we get 50% of a month's salary in may (as a "vacation" buns) and another 50% of a month's salary in november as an "xmas bonus". This actually is in the contract. I work in the aviation industry. :P
As for real "gifts"... the company paid for a dinner, plus I got two calendars. No big deal, but a nice gesture. Now a head bopping doll does sound really stupid, but really - if you sign a contract then you better pay attention to variables such as bonusses. If the contract does not look good without them, dont sign it. And yeah you are lucky to have a job.
Sorry, no flame intended, but I never understoof why you americans let yourselves be screwed over like that. I was checking out some jobs in the US a few years ago, and for example one boasted TWO WEEKS paid vacations, a year. What gives? I get six weeks paid vacations here. Why would anybody on earth sign such a bad and horrible contract?
I got a $2,000 raise. Ho ho ho!
New poll, do you have a job right now?
Where I am living, there's a unemployment rate of 25% in the IT sector.
Bobbleheads are so 90's.
Geez...just goes to show how behind the times HR departments are.
Well a few years ago, when I was with lovely OneMame ... er OneMain we recieved some lovely mouse pads, keychains and a cheap clock. I was in awe.
After they were purchased by Earthlink (good for onemame, bad for earthlink) we recieved this completely kick ass bonus. It wasn't really a christmas bonus, but a year end bonus based on churn and profit goals. If things went well the total bonus could be up to 10%. While I have complaints elsewhere with the company this was just beautiful.
This year with the new company I expect it to be rather minimal, but better then a mousepad.
In any case, I never expected year end contributions from the company and I have every intention of accepting whatever it is they decide to give.
Management, well, they will get big fat whatevers for making sure the drones do all the work.
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
... and put it on your desk. Explain to any who ask that it has become the jumping point for your growing interest in the religion of Santaria. Although this may actually be the beginning of your transition to a new career (termination due to insubordination and the subsequent job hunt), it'll probably be the last bobble head doll you'll get from a boss whose ego is set to autowank. :)
Get off my virtual lawn, you damned virtual kids!
Looks like you never got to Reality 201.
Employment will be an agreement among equals when I can let my boss go due to "tough" financial times just like I can.
Employment will be an agreement among equals when my boss invites me to his Christmas party.
Employment will be an agreement among equals when my boss will be reprimanded for missing a day of work.
Employment will be an agreement among equals when I get equal compensation for equal amounts of work and experience.
Employment will be an agreement among equals when I can be in the same health plan as my boss and the company owner.
Employment will be an agreement among equals when bosses and owners think of employment as an agreement among equals.
Which means:
Employment will be an agreement among equals when pigs fly or companies are worker owned.
I got a turkey just for being there! 12-30 dollars toward the purchase of a holiday bird! Thats because I work at a company where the ego's arent as huge as the IT industry. Good ole blue chip company. Like my mom always says, the best presents are those that go to the stomach.
| - | - |
I have a job, and I feel very lucky for that. But more importantly, I have a job that I like. They can give me a bobble-head for Christmas, or absolutely nothing at all, and I'll still be happy. I left a dot-bomb 6 months ago, and it just feels damn good to work for a profitable company that has fun without wasting tons of money. Now, I understand where you're coming from, though. If you don't like your job, then the small things just keep adding up. My guess is the bobble-head is just one more straw in a large collection of reasons to be dissatisfied. I agree with the few who have suggested doing really rude things with the doll to work out some of your frustration and make a statement at the same time. How about some cute dolly clothes?
Can the recipients of these choice gifts post some pictures ? Maybe with some in 'creative' poses ?
If the likeness is good enough that we can recognise the dude in question, he'll look like such an ass and may decide to buy the damn things back.
As we say down here in Oz 'what an A-grade wanker'.
Merry Christmas
PS What is 'bobble-head' ?
This year it was a toolkit, looks to be between $5 and $10. Last year it was some outdoors gear in a similar price range.
The company I work for has people from many countries and backgrounds, most of my co-workers don't take vacations at Christmas, so it dosen't bother me that the gifts are inexpensive.
I would be a bit annoyed if they gave me a bobblehead of anyone in the company. I suggest turning it into an art-piece.
Layoff announcements. Nice job with the books.
Bean counters killed Xmas bonuses. Their domain is the spreadsheet, and an Xmas bonus is a negative entry along with overtime, moving expenses, paid holidays and vacation. Business lives and dies by numbers these days. Face it, all workers are are numbers too - usually negative numbers. We are liabilities instead of assets. I know of one company that fired their IT person because: "They didn't need an IT person, everything's working great!" This is a perfect example of how short-sighted top managers have become. They think that people are interchangeable. I had a friend who started an IT admin's job and asked if he could call on the old admin. (who had left on good terms and also was available as a consultant if necessary). The manager asked: "Why do you need to do that? A computer is a computer!". We have people making decisions these days who are clueless but don't think they are. This is the most dangerous kind of boss: the kind that think they know more then they really do. Finally, the best story ever told me was by a Chief Engineer friend in the radio business: His station's tower took a direct lightening hit, which caught the 'doghouse' building under the tower on fire, destroying it. The General Manager wanted from him within one week: 1: How many thunderstorms there were going to be in the next year and 2: How much damage each one was going to cost the radio station in dollars. How's that for clueless?
i got hooked up with one of those superslick leathermanmanmanman micras, oh yeah, and one of those cool gift certificate slip book things for mickey d's for 5 bucks
i'm happy
I got a bizzare 50% raise this year, which is unfortunate since the company will be "closing it's U.S. operations" within the next 3 months ...
I got to keep my same old over-worked, under-paid position with probably NO raise this year.
Lucky me....
David
A pink slip this morning. Merry fucking Christmas, everyone.
I have not had a full time job in 2 years. You should just count your lucky stars you have a job. Get over it --dan
after downsizing in november, we get to help move offices on the saturday before christmas! and of course, for no reward or financial incentive or compensation.
i should clarify that "we" is the company, and not "i", as "i" will be at home NOT moving, i've given my company more than enough, including behind laid off once and re-employed a month later...
--- Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit? | Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
a $20 bill on my inbox from my employer for back "employee fund" dues.
I'm not sure what the "employee fund" is... is that where our pay checks come from?
Please no +1 Funny, since this isn't a joke.... I actually got a bill for christams.
... that they wouldn't sack any of us until after the 1st of the year.
i'll give you a hint: there's an inside joke to this post.
RTFM; please, I beg you.
Spoiled food eats you!
After almost 8 years at the same Human-Computer Interaction design firm, I (along with 6 other people) was laid off. And what did they give me for severence? They gave me a lousy $3500 in serverence, they threw a holiday party for the survivors and serverd day old left over Chinese food from the CEO's step-daughter's birthday party. Real class act.
~ hayduke out
------------------- a man with a good car needs no justification '93 90S 150K
Well, at least the management now knows who is a waste of space...whoever was part of actually getting those dolls made!!!
I would rather get a $10 gift certificate to Papa Gino's or some other silly small gift than a stupid doll that would make me made and I'd probably throw out anyhow.
Australia's largest retailing group cancelled Christmas on us. We normally have a nice Christmas gig with the whole shebang - this year, the CEO decided it wasn't financially justifiable. And to add salt, he put a stop to any company funding towards any Christmas celebrations whatsoever.
I guess at least with the doll, you'd have something to take your frustration out on :)
The poor sods in the military out on deployment. All they will get is half a day off, if they are lucky, and a crappy meal that they have to stand in line for over half an hour to get leaving them 5 minutes to eat because they only get about half an hour for chow break because they are understaffed.
I'm just glad I'm not doing that anymore.
help?!? in search of sig
Think of all the uses for that doll next year at Halloween!!! A little desk-sized Halloween decoration!
Normally we get a whole ham. This year (a drought year) we only get half a ham.
We also get a compulsory holiday. The whole company shuts down for 2 weeks. Just the same, I find I can get 3 times the work done, and there are some things in IT you just can't fix without shutting down the company, so I usually end up working 1 of the two weeks.
Department heads might give their own department a Christmas party. Ours does. (He's also the HR head, and pretty good at encouraging/motiviating people).
Bonuses are bonuses. In Australia many still have "holiday leave loading" - ie extra pay when on holidays. This started in prosperous times as a "nice bonus" to make employees feel appreciated. The problem is, people may be ok about whether to get a NEW bonus or not, but try to take away something they've had for a few years... different story.
Honestly. Don't like it? Go start your own company, take risks, get investors, get paid US$65 million and pay to have a bobblehead doll made of yourself.
Personally, all the schwag I get that I don't like goes right to charity.
I'm becoming increasingly convinced that the only real way to know you've "made it" in modern society is when a bobblehead doll gets made of you.
My boss is a Jehovah's Witness, who don't celerabrate holidays or birthdays or anything fun, therefore it's kind of a no-no to put up christmas decorations & stuff. Wonder if I will even get a christmas bonus...
or maybe the orig poster works at ClubJenna, Inc; the CEO there also has a bobblehead
RTFM; please, I beg you.
Oh...wait...that's my unemployment compensation from Massachusetts. Never mind.
...I gave my employer a Christmas bonus: my resignation letter. We were acquired by a large company, received no raise this year, and weren't going to receive a year-end bonus. So I figured they needed a bonus. :)
[b.belong('us') for b in bases if b.owner() == 'you']
Pink slips, my manager gave me one but I refused to wear it for him. A guy's got to draw the line somewhere.
?-|||-----x<*))))><
... and our Telco gave me a diary and a bottle of wine. (They want to be our ISP as well).
I've decided to give myself the next year off, and the year after that, and the following one too. I hate being interrupted when I'm doing absolutely nothing.
Tovaris, ...just don't be stupid and buy a company Hum-Vee or something. ...a small ISP in Flagstaff, AZ did that... as their customer service quality immediately dropped, I suspect some cut salaries were to blame. It pisses off the customers as well.
...but forecast for long term growth.
You've got a special case. Peeps understand the trials and tribulations as a small firm.
Keep the 79 chevy pickup around.
Then, if you tell us where it is, I'm sure you'll get at least a few bucks for it!
Send your story into fuckedcompany.com
...and now whenever anybody even looks at me, I flip down the handle and charge them by the minute (and mile) for my goodwill.
I'm just a little worried that if everyone else is as smart as me, they'll get their meters too, and the competition will knock down my take.
Anyway, Slashdot should pay me for submissions like this.
<bart
Dude,
A bobble head doll of the CEO? That's pretty friggin lame and VAIN! I'd set it on fire and let itbobble and smoke outside of the CEOs office...
At my first job out of college we went to the X-Mas lunch with 140 employees. When we came back from lunch most of us had corporate logo watches but 36 people got pink slips. Merry Christmas and Happy job Hunting...
Anyway I went independent contractor a few years ago and the pay is MUCH better and there are no "to be broken in the future" promises of comp time or stock options. Pay me and I'll write code, all others be gone...
--Richard
There, okay, I'm all better. I was about to call you an ungrateful elistist piece of crap because well you have a job and those of us that don't and have been looking for over a year and can't even get a steady TEMP job, really hate it when people complain about not getting a bonus.
I worked 3 years at a company and never got a bonus, got a less than 2% raise and had ONE Christmas party, where I had to pay for drinks. Buck up. Three days after Christmas 250000 lose unemployment checks.
So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"
Laid off. Last year. Along with 75% of the rest of the company (they kept almost all of the managers and all 28 VPs). Merry Christmas.
Now I make almost 1/2 the pay, but I'm into the 1st year of a 3 year research grant. Job security at last!
Mod me down and I shall become more trollish than you can possibly imagine!
We are forced to take vacation from Christmas to NY. OK, I can handle that...that's not that uncommon.
But now, they're decreasing our vacation carry-over every year for a couple years and still trying to make us think they're SO generous.
Wait until this economy picks up...
a pretty decent ham. I can't complain they did hire me as a freshman in college banking on the skills i demonstrated as an intern for three months this summer. In six months they are paying for the rest of my education and are buying me a badass fujitsu lifebook for personal use (as in i own it, it isnt' company property) They are paying my bills and it's a nice enough job that a ham is a good enough bonus for me.
Our greatest enemy is neither a single man, nor is it a nation, it is, as it has always been, our own greed.
I've given my staff bonuses every year, including this one. People keep telling me bonuses are 'outdated' because they don't reflect performance.
I think that's a load of crapola. How can someone not deserve an extra check after working the year?
Real question is, did management get a bonus? Of course they did...
My company forced it's employees to take vacation from the 16th on to the 1st. Thus taking up all vaction accrued over the past year, so that they don't have to roll it over or pay us for it. It's like a negative bonus. Even if I had saved all my vacation for this year, I would still be out several days pay.
To make matters worse, I'm part of the consulting division. I have regular maintenance agreements that I had to fill. Thus shoving a months worth of work into 2 weeks. I got a bit of overtime, I sure would have rather worked normal weeks (normal in this economy is still difficult) and taken some vacation when I wanted to or better yet recieved some pay.
We get an extra $50.00 USD check every year. I suppose we'll get the same thing in 2002.
Galland
We get $25 gift certificates for the local grocery store.
Seriously.
I guess that's what I get for working in manufacturing.
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
We all got a plastic pen with the company name on it.
Same thing as last year,
Hmm. There could be a hidden message here. Perhaps the CEO is trying to say something about himself. Getting a stupid-looking bobble likeness of anyone would at least give me the message that this person is a dumb twit, regardless of who they are.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
I work at a game company, and this year I got Steel Battalion for my XBOX (which was actually an early Christmas gift the company gave to each employee)! I am pretty stoked.
Times aren't bad everywhere; there is hope yet.
This is the year to be happy you've got a paycheck and some money in your 401k.
Support SETI@home
Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!
This kind of statement, "funny" though it may be, is a pretty good reflection of the current (IMHO stupid) feelings of a lot of people on Slashdot, judging from their comments.
A bonus is a special reward -- an employee did something really exceptional and their employer wanted to show their appreciation.
A bonus is *not* something that an employer is required or expected to give to an employee. If you wanted more *salary*, you should have negotiated it.
I'm not sure at what point workers started feeling that they were "entitled" to this gift. A Christmas bonus is a nice idea, but it certainly isn't something guaranteed. And, readers, if you're relying on it to support your finances around Christmas time, harsh as this may sound, you deserve whatever's coming. It's time for some actual financial management.
May we never see th
You know what I got for Xmas? I walked out of a client meeting 3000 miles away from my CEO, and he called me on my cellphone to tell me my job was evaporating in a whiff of disinvestment.
You know what I get this Christmas?
The day off. Without pay.
Cry me a river.
tom
So where is the link to the website with pics of horrible things being inflicted upon this bobble-doll??
ôó
Assuming this isn't just a factless troll, what company does the "wisely anonymous reader" work for? Clearly if the CEO is making $65M+, it's a fairly sizeable company and there must be others here who were the proud recepients of the bobblehead?
I just want to make sure that I take this into account should I ever be offered a job there (Sort of a moderation... "-1 shithead CEO").
Laid off. It was before Thanksgiving, but I consider that the start of the holidays, don't you? So yes, I'd say you're damned lucky you got a bobble-doll.
.nosig
urrrrrp! 'scuse me.
Or one of it's subsideries. GE invented the 1-2-3 system, and has been screwing everyone with it for years.
I'm floored to have a job. Friends are being given pink slips, and headed back to school for the holidays.
If your company's got the dough to hand out a bobble head, THAT'S a good sign your company doesn't need to do layoffs.
"god's in his heaven, all's right with the world"
-Evangelion
My boss setup for prostitutes to accompany a few of the guys, including myself, at the holiday party. It was great! Btw i'm posting anonymously to preserve karma.
a lousy $200 with taxes taken out....oh well.. at least I still have a job.
United for a Fair Economy
If the minimum wage had risen at the same rate as executive pay over the last three daces, it would stand at nearly $41 an hour as opposed to $5.15. (Institute for Policy Studies/United for a Fair Economy, April 23, 1998)
The richest 1% in the United States now own 40% of the wealth. Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances (1997)
"We can either have democracy in this country or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." - Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis
"Plato told Aristotle no one should make more than five times the pay of the lowest member of society. J.P. Morgan said 20 times. Jesus advocated a negative differential - that's why they killed him." - Graef Crystal (1998)
I'm just on my way to our christmas party in about an hour.
we are doing a "secret santa" thing, everyone draws a name out of a hat, and has to buy something for the person who's name you drew.
sounds good right? yeah, until they tell you that you have to buy 8 things for the person, and that you cannot spend more than $5 CDN to do it...
As far as the company goes though, we will probably get the standard $22 gift certificate for a butterball turkey....
I'm gonna buy a bottle instead....
I got told that I have to work over Christmas! YAY! ...
well, it'd be different if I had something better to do.
happy sales!
RTFM; please, I beg you.
Last year I got laid
Given the fact most trolls don't have the best grammar, I'll assume this troll implied his kitchen's tile was laid.
But I'm sure you already Gnu that.
Either leave dronedom by becoming a suit or drop out.
I was given notice that my position "was being eliminated".
It's the thought that counts...
What's the difference between an orange?
Posting anonymously so no one plagues my company's inbox with requests to work there. My boss has always held an ideal that bonuses SHOULD be given regardless. Even if you quit or get let go before the end of the year, you get a bonus based on how much you worked that year. If you're still there, you get it based on how long you've been with the company and how much you've worked that year as well. And if the company's not making tons of money this year, or doesn't have the cash to pay bonuses, the boss takes a loan out to pay the bonuses.
The owner of the company worked for many years in corporate-minded jobs, and decided to get out of the rut and form his own company. As an internet company, he's made it through the dot-bomb and today's bad marketplace. Amazing that thinking different and treating your workers like THEY are the important part of the company, not the shareholders or managers, makes a company still viable.
Most of you reading this forum have jobs, eat 3 meals a day, have a fair amount of disposable cash with which you can purchase laptops, fancy GPS items, and 200 dollar sweaters.
Most of the world doesn't get paid more than a few dollars a day, can't remember the last time they ate 3 meals - let alone balanced meals - in the same day, doesn't have a television or magazine subscriptions, nor the ability to read those magazines if they did have them.
And here I'm seeing whining that you didn't get x% of your salary as a Christmas bonus for doing the work you were hired to do at a salary you agreed to prior to accepting the job.
No wonder half the world hates Americans. I'm ashamed of you myself now.
And Merry Christmas, every one.
I say pull a snickers crunch commercial and smash the bobblehead to get rid of your frustrations. In fact, have a party and invite other people from work to smash the bobblehead doll with you. Then drink til you pass out =^)
The Doormat
If you're not outraged, then you're not paying attention.
~~~
I work in a porn biz (I'm Just Another Perl Hacker, who programs porn websites backends) and our team decided to make an orgy on Xmas. There'll be 19 female and 4 male models, 3 programmers (including me), 5 web/graphics designers, 2 photographers, company owner and a 2 managers. There'll be no cameras, otherwise half of the crew would not agree. I just can't wait, this is going to be best Xmas ever! I think I still can't believe it myself, those chicks are really hot (maybe except two "bbw"-type ones), I'll believe when it's done.
(I post anonymously because I'm, of course, ashamed...)
Cheap pen set
I love hearing people complain about their jobs.
Wefre just starting to reach gcritical massh when consciousness
begins to form. All you people with glivesh out there (i.e. making
enough money to not truly suffer) get so pissed off when they step
on your ego/pride and then turn right around and jump through their
hoops. [You think itfs painful to not be able to get your kids that extra toy for
Christmas? Try helping your mothger face dying without being able to
afford the medicine that could save her]
At your level of consciousness youfve got no idea whatfs going on
or whatfs about to happen. When an earthquake in the middle of the
ocean causes a tidal wave the ships donft even feel the tiny 4 inch
wave that passes under them headed inland to destroy the costal towns.
Similarly you people donft have any idea whatfs already happened
thatfs about to cause catastrophic changes in the economy, but you
will soon enough.
What on God's green earth do you donate a cow to? An African charity or something?
May we never see th
Ever seen that crunchy snickers commercial....
I do security
I don't celebrate christmas you insensitive clod!
Share the christmas cheer and let every other male employee have the joy of pissing on said CEO's likeness all party-night long. It's what an arrogant ass like him deserves -- no wait, more than he deserves.
Get a bonus that's 0.04545454~% of the amount of money that your company makes thanks to your efforts. Yep. I had two weeks to figure out how to cram our data into a database format developed by the gubmint for the gubmint. 8 years ago. Some pencil pusher found the spec and said, "Hey. That'd be a good format to use for electronic reporting." Nevermind the fact that nobody had touched it in over 5 years.
So after three weeks of work, I got it going. Spent months revising and refining as the gubmint agency realized that the spec was far too cumbersome for the project but couldn't do anything about it because they'd gone and got themselves a law requiring the use of this format. Nearly three months later, things finally started flowing. Thanks to my work, we were able to retain approximately $1,000,000 worth of work and bill an additional 10% on top of that for providing the data in the new format. That's $1,100,000 my company would have lost if not for my effort. And that amount is growing as consultants find it's difficult to find companies that can provide data in this format. If my projections are right, the income from this work could reach $1,500,000 next year.
And all this has been done during one day a week. I've worked Sunday thru Thursday for the last year so I can have one day a week to work on this project uninterrupted. The rest of the week, I'm lucky to spend an hour (total) working on it. I rearranged my life so I could make this work. I've retained over a million dollars a year in income for my company. I've helped them create a market that will bring in hundreds of thousands of extra dollars a year.
What did I get for a bonus? $500. Before taxes. Be still my heart. I can't afford to buy a decent house within 30 miles of the office if I have my entire salary wired directly to the bank. I haven't had a raise in over a year. I didn't get to take a vacation this summer because I had too much work to do.
What thanks did I get? $500.
Fuck 'em.
I really believe this is true. The focus is too much on management, and not on employees. I have friend whose father works in the oil business. One day I was eating with him and his father and the man was complaining about practices in a company he was doing some work for. Apparently the company was laying people off. However, they were only firing workers. The past year they had spent hiring managers. His point was that the company was becoming so top heavy it was hardly functional. They didn't have enough people to get the work done one time or correctly any more, just a whole lot of managers with nobody to manage.
In contrast I look at Japanese companies and the way they operate. These companies will operate at a loss and refuse to fire workers simply to keep them happy! A professor once told me of a Japanese company that many extra workers and not enough projects to keep them busy. So, they just had the workers build an amusement park, for no other reason than to keep them employed! The company actually moved into a new market, and made a large, gambling investment, just to keep their workers happy! I would kill to work for someone who wanted me to work for them that much!
Last year, we got an Xmas "Fruit Basket" from one of the local grocery stores. Woo hoo.
Sad part is that it wasn't the economy, it was malfeasance and poor management taking over that did it.
I should be happy just to have a job.
Should read,
I should be happy just to have a CEO that doesn't read Slashdot
Banaaaana!
Explosives and videotape! Perhaps some CA glue, some cardboard fins, add a few weights in the right place for balance and a guide tube, add a nice, big, fat Estes D sized model rocket engine and procede to the launchpad, camcorder in hand. Then, edit the video into a nice little email-able clip and send annonymously to a one Mr. Bobble Head, CEO of company X. Yessss, that should do quite nicely.
We can spell!
Cover your eyes and click this link!
The only thing I received from my employer for christmas were instructions to work harder to finish a project by the end of this year so various department heads would get a bonus.
In essense, he said, "The worst thing you could ever as a company is to start giving out a Christmas bonus. Once you start giving them out, you can't stop without coming off as a total schmuck."
He added that if a yearly/periodical bonus *must* be given, it should be [phychologically] tied to some other, less-prominent holiday like Thanksgiving (in the US) or some summer holiday, etc.
Once people get used to getting a "gift from Santa" it is very easy to miss it and get all pissed because they are somehow being robbed of something they deserve.
I work for a collge.
I get two weeks paid vacation in December, another week for spring break...
No complaints here.
I gave myself to Jesus, but now he never calls
Well Sending out a doll too; Well alot of staff is to say the least tempting fate in the voodoo magic department. Lets face it. If I was a tight assed boss who just sent all my faithful employee's a doll. I'd pay a very close eye on stationary requests for pins and staples for the next to weeks.
I was the new proud owner of an off-white LaserJet4 with a 475000 page count! I was really lucky because the toner had just been replaced and I think the paper tray was at least half full. Since I take mass transit, I did not want to kill myself and/or look like a complete idiot trying to lug that thing onto the subway so I left it in my cube and was waiting for a day I could drive to work and get it. Well I waited too long because last week they "borrowed" it back for a contractor's temp use in a conference room and although he's long gone, I havent seen the printer since, I think that fucker took it with him.
Bad boys rape our young girls but Violet gives willingly.
You are certainly a victim!
I don't think anyone feels sorry for you, considering how many tech jobs have been cut in the last 2 years. You are lucky to have a job. If you think you deserve a bonus, take your skills out onto the job market and negotiate yourself a signing bonus.
Nobody owes you anything. If you don't have the skills to earn the kind of money you want, there's nobody to blame but yourself.
Amazing magic tricks
I'd like to receive a paycheck. Yes, I am employed, technically. I haven't been paid 2 out of the last 3 pay periods. So, a paycheck would be nice.
I wouldn't mind having a job where I didn't have to say this.
So, quitcherbitchin. 2-3 years ago maybe you had a valid point. Now you just sound like a whiny baby.
The company that employs you is not your friend or family; why do you want it to pretend it is? Wouldn't you rather have reasonable hours, a competetive wage, and a pleasant work environment, instead of silly parties and christmas presents?
I'd prefer just an increase to my annual salary over some random bonus, and if they have to give me a bonus then I'd rather they just give me the money without pretending it's a christmas present.
--Bruce F.
For rides around the corporate campus: The Conference Bike.
...this year we all (<20-person IT consulting firm) got nice Columbia jackets with the company logo on them. Last year we got $100 Best Buy gift cards.
I was looking forward to another gift card, but I like the jacket and I don't feel slighted in the least. The company also pays generous performance bonuses. In the past year, I've accumulated over $6000 and 10000 shares in the company. I'm a pretty freakin' happy camper.
Why, if I had a rubber hose, I'd...
Well, you get the idea. =)
And I was *really* counting on that bonus to pay for my new in-ground pool!
And realizes that giving out bobble-head dolls of himself for employees to vent their frustrations on is a huge step for stress relief!
Or maybe he's just another dumb MBA who lets all the important people beat him at golf.
.
I got a big fat check. And then I made a big donation to the EFF.
Yes you are correct. I made a grammatical mistake, I know it never happens, especially on /. ;)
I hope more educated readers can see what I meant. It's not that hard.
"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." - Emily Dickinson
A small severance package. Yep, laid off yesterday, this close to Christmas. At the same time, invited to the company Christmas party. Yeah, I feel like going... I know, tough times and all, but seems like really crappy timing. Now if I get a better job before Christmas, well, I will consider this a good thing....
XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
...damn doll of the guy who made 65 million...
I assume we are are talking dollars and not dolls. Without the currency, we could even be talking RMB, which isn't that much. A currency symbol would have been nice.
Until the original poster gives us a clue as to the company concerned, I will take the news with a pinch of salt.
Jumpstart the tartan drive.
if you have to reboot a winxp machine several times a day, you have no business setting up *any* computer and should instead start by learning how to tie your shoes by yourself.
I don't believe it.
And since I'm getting a substantial pay increase from my new employer, they can suck wind.
I'm a soldier! Defend the objective!!
Nicely made point.
However, these days it has sweet FA to do any kind of religion, except the worship of money.
For the last couple of decades its all been about consumer confidence, movie and music releases,
over-priced pieces of cardboard and the airwaves bombarding us with advertising.
Perhaps "birth of dead-guy on a stick" day should be moved to a different day, where it won't
interfere with consumption.
http://jesus.everdense.com/
A buddy of mine is fairly senior in HR at a certain non-tech company.
Times are *good*. Profits are *up*. But they are telling employees just the opposite (it is a large private company) and are putting the screws to them. He says it is really sick to watch.
So don't believe everything you hear.
I won't even be paid for being OFF on Christmas, so bad is my employer.
;)
I love the bobblehead idea... Yeah, spend $hundreds to have those things made instead of giving that money to the employees.
Personally, I like ripping off sleeves of company logo golf balls from the sales slugs. My friend and I love to whack the things into the woods never to be seen again
Corporatism != Free Market
The company I worked for gave my entire department pink slips for Christmas... and we even got 'em a couple of months early.
Chris
My workgroup (4 people) generated about $2 million worth of business. We all got pocket planner calendars that cost $2.75. Last year we got Christmas ornaments that were dated 1998.
Consider this real case:
25 Years of pure programming experience
An IT Master degree from Stanford University
Married, but no kid
He's still looking for jobs for the past 1/2 year.
Be happy.
Might as well make it useful.
--
Marc A. Lepage
Software Developer
While it's true you shouldn't plan on bonuses, more and more high-tech companies are giving bonuses in lieu of raises. It seems really nice, when times are good, because you get these huge bonuses--you think you're something really special. And after a few years, it takes quite a bit of fiscal discipline for those bonuses to not make their way into your usual budget. Then, the market goes in the tank, and you're suddenly making half of what you used to since the company can't afford the bonuses due to market conditions.
And yes, I'm taking home half of what I did last year, even though my base salary didn't change. I'm not hurting, though -- most of my expenses are recreational and non-recurring. Both my cars are paid for too, which helps a lot.
On the plus side, bonuses provide compensation flexibility for the company such that it's easier for the company to adjust its personnel expenses without actually letting as many people go. I've been through a few Reductions In Force, and it seems that the primary targets are the bottom 10% performance-wise, and top 10% salary-wise (at least among the non-upper-management staff). Thus, if your base wage stays lower, it's easier for the company to not lay you off -- just pay you less. Moral of the story: Sock those bonuses away for a rainy day.
--JoeProgram Intellivision!
The way I figure it, is that even in bad economic times, a well estabilished lawfirm still has a good amount of work to do. We can both launch the IPO and run the Chapter 11 proceedings...
Revolutions are never about freedom or justice. They're about who's going to be top dog. -- Kilgore Trout
..to repost this link.
Its the AFL-CIO's PayWatch resource. Find out the compensation disparity in your company.
I'm 19. I work in a Honda parts warehouse when I'm not in classes. For my high efficiency rating, I was awarded a $150 dollar bonus. Thanks to my good friend Uncle Sam, I got to see a whole $95. Yes... they taxed my bonus. I work in a warehouse that can hit up to 112 degrees... and they taxed my bonus. *sigh*
I'm magically delicious.
What, you think those bobble head things cost $500 a pop? If you were passed up on a $500 bonus in favor of a bobble head CEO I'd see your point. As it stands, I suspect you think you got shafted when in fact a $11 check would have been equally (if not more) insulting to you. Just a guess.
Here's some advice: take the damn doll and shut up. There are talented people out there with children who can't see doctors anymore or even eat well because their talented parents were laid off and unemployment benefits are running out. Facing being homeless, I'd venture a guess that they'd spit in your friggin' eye if they heard you say in person what you're saying now.
You people are jaw jackin' about how rotten your companies are based on things like bonuses. Bosses get more than you do. Deal with it. You don't like it, you think you can do better, start your own company. Now's actually an ideal time to do it.
But quit being a spoiled brat. Look around you, read the news about the economy, and accept that you may not be given free $$ this year. I couldn't care less. I have a job, a roof over my head, and I have enough left over to sock some away for my retirement and still be able to pay for my new car and a few sushi runs a couple times a month. And I feel BLESSED to have this. I don't know what your problem is...
I got a job offer -- and my current employer got a resignation letter.
Works for me!
Well... I don't work there anymore. Am a student now.
But we used to get a little money and maybe a shirt or something like that.
As a goodbye gift when I quit I got a bottle of fine singlemalt whiskey and a sweater with a small company logo on it.
Actually a really nice gift.
/.Mattsson - My native language is not English, so please don't whine over linguistic errors. (That's lame anyway...)
I survived another layoff.
I got another pay cut.
I was told to take more vacation time -- no choice.
Pretty much par for the course.
Methinks I'll stay anonymous too.
(I can't even _imagine_ a bobble head doll of my
CEO.)
Nothing. In fact, I will have to forgo Xmas entirely and pound keys thru the holiday just to keep my client from giving me a happy new year 'pink-slip'.
a pay raise 2 months ago (10%) and
3 GRAND!!!!
Hell, we didn't even have (or going to have) a Christmas Party. How bout a bonus? Nope, I'm a temp worker so yay for me! Oh yea, I don't even get holiday pay. I just looove Christmas, more traffic, more annoying people, and more angry people on the phone.
I hate Christmas, bah humbug!
Last year, the boss tosses me a pack of cigarettes and says, "Here, kid. Smoke up!"
How are you going to keep them down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus?
I've worked for multiple fortune 500 companies, for multiple years.
I've never seen a bonus for a holiday.
As a rock-in-roll Physicist once said, No matter where you go, there you are.
Open bar at the holiday party :-)
That is all I need this time of year.
I'll look for my bonus check when taxes come around.
...we get a ham.
Its size is based on how well we are going.
This year I think were getting a can of SPAM
Burma?
What did you get from your Company for Christmas?
;-)
Does unemployment give out Christmas bonuses?
We don't get a bonus as far as I know, but we do get some extra vacation time. Basically they are shutting down the office for two weeks over the holidays. They give us the regular holidays plus 5 bonus days. Then we chip in 2 of our own vacation days. I'm happy getting 7 days for the price of two :)
The people who own the company (the stockholders) aperantly think that the salary of these people is a resonable price to pay given how much more money they are going to be making because they are there.
If You own a billion dolar company, and you think a new CEO is smart enough to make you into a two billion dolar company, then it would be stupid of you not to pay him enough for him to want the job.
It certanly makes more sense then paying sports people that kind of cash...
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
All joking aside, I'm not getting a bonus this year, and that's fine, money is tight after all. But if I got a bobble-head of the CEO, I'm not sure if I'd think it was funny or if I'd be so offended I'd quit, especially if the CEO was paying himself 65M/year. If he was really doing his job correctly, he'd pay himself a more modest salary and keep the rest in the company. No one needs 65M a year, and taking that much for herself just shows he's not as loyal to the company as she should be to be the CEO.
IMO, YMMV, YHBT, etc.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
Yes, you should be happy to have a job..
Consider this - they could laid you off and spent your salary/wages on better gifts for all the remaining employees..
The office party was last Thursday, at a blues club big enough to hold everyone, a buffet dinner and open bar -- well, open enough to get beers and well drinks free. Two bands played: A blues band during dinner, a funk band for dancing later.
It was a good time. But...
Things have been so rough over the last couple of years that everyone seemed *too* thankful for what we had that night. It seemed downright solemn, as everyone concentrated on eating their ribs and not acting as if they "deserved" this bit of ostentation. Backlash, I suppose, from the New Economy years, when these sort of shindigs were expected. But then, that's when everyone was jumping ship for startups and we had to be bribed and cajoled into staying.
A large proportion of people left soon afterwards, as well. It was impossible to find a seat when I arrived, but the place was halfway to empty when the dance band started. A bathroom attendent was heard commenting about how we sure weren't treating the night like a Christmas party.
Then again, there were a lot of young single people working there back then. Now it's filled with older, married parents. Mostly the same folks.... I guess a lot changes over just a few years.
TSG
Im sorry, I must not have gotten that memo.
*** I suffer from a colorful array of psychological problems
2 years ago, I was working in Big 5 consulting. They were forcing people to work extra hours over the holidays, so they gave us all a Christmas present that we could use - an air mattress and a clean shirt.
OMFG LOLOLOLOLOL U === teh VARY suckness
Failure is written all over your dick-wanking hands.
Let's see, one Stealth Bomber = approximately 1.8 million company hams ...
I once worked for a small company (10 employees) and we got paid dirt.
The best financial year we had, we found out (small company) the pres flew in a semi-famous comediane 1st class from LA to the east coast and paid her 10 G's to ridicule us as she handed out gifts, like a sweater. Needless to say, none of us stayed on much longer.
I always wondered if we would all still be there if she came out and handed us each 1 G in cash instead
*sniff
:)
.crash, we recieved a $25 gift cert to the local steakhouse and a small party at a decent place for the remaining employees catered with apetizers and 1 hour of open bar.
then again the christmas bonuses and parties probably had a lot to do with it
(*enter wavy dream sequence back to 1998*)
my first year there, they gave us each around $1000 (more for higher ups) we were exstatic to say the least. They threw this big catered affair at a posh place downtown for the 50 employees on hand at the time.
The second year, they gave us a bonus that rivaled out bi-weekly paychecks. (much more than the previous year, one guy was only there 2 weeks and he got something like $500.) They had us take everything in the office (er studio), move it to another floor, layed down a dance floor, hired professional swing dancers, a band, had free food (sushi, calamari and all things yummy) and put up three seperate fully stocked bars.
then the third year, big bada boom - the
at the time we were all pretty pissed/depressed, it's funny to look back at it all now. at least I still have my memories.
If anything, my current job will probably toss us a $15 Giant gift cert but I'm definately not counting on that.
You could probbably get $20 for that bobble head on Ebay...
laid off from a certain telecommunications ccompany that shall remain nameless (i need the severance)
If it was my company and I gave the position of CEO to someone else and he did as such, I would fire his/her ass immediately, whether or not he was a close friend or whatnot.
Afterall, employees are usually asked to show a certain amount of dedication to the company, the executives should do the same, otherwise they are poor executives and should be releived.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
I agree with you. It's happening in my own company. The raises have been on hold for 2 years now (this after I was already screwed over the previous two raises.) and bonuses never existe for us peons other than the box of cookies they would toss us in December. (they even cancelled those this year.)
The xmas party was today, but the office is getting reamed over it because corporate is pissed that they spent a couple of hundred bucks on fried chicken from brown's, in our own office.
Yet, the ceo got another huge bonus.
Oh, and btw, I don't drink latte's. I don't buy crap. I spend $2.00 a day eating at Smackdonald's and getting the dollar menu items. Bringing my own soda to work helps a lot.
Nobody's going to believe a story like that.
Well, I may be off topic because this isn't a complaint...
We got nice Eddie Bauer company-logo jackets (fleece lined weather proof kind-of cloth thing). Bonuses happen along about new years, but last year they were in the thousands of dollars range.
Of course this is because my company (shameless plug pointing at a enemic server that wont take the load 8-) doesn't suck, didn't dot-bomb itself, and is still quite profitable.
Then again, we did do fund-rasing this year, which involved going from a limited partnership to a board-of-directors thing, so there is no telling. Perhaps we will get slammed later in a classic "syphon off the value, sell the shell, admire our management technique, and call it a win." spoken of elsewhere on this forum.
Meanwhile things are quite nice.
Innocent people shouldn't be forced to pay for inferior software development.
--"Code Complete" Microsoft Press
I'd advocate buying Sun equipment over smaller shops selling rackmount servers if they took me out on Cruises and got me drunk.
Maybe you just buy "enough" so they keep wasting their money on you. Meanwhile, you can show even better numbers then having gone totally with one vendor. Make them fight each other by dropping hints about the "other departments" and what deals they have going.
Ahhh yes. Good stuff.
Anything worth while from the company I work for if I get anything.. I know that the company I work for when they hit their first $1,000,000,000.00 in profits they gave out to all the employees a squeeze ball with the company name on one side and the saying "Thanks a Billion!" on the other... So needless to say.. I don't think I will be getting a damn thing.
Oh well.. There goes the hopes of being able to afford presents for the family and fiancee...
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas though!
I've worked for three companies during my career, and they were all small companies, so I grant that may taint my perspective. But I've come to believe that the one qualification to be a CEO is that you:
1) Convince yourself that you should be a CEO
2) You convince other people of the same
That's it. I've found no other inate qualification in any of the CEO's I've worked with. They usually have tremendous egos (a necessity given requirement #1 above), and this leads to all sorts of problems. They are unwilling to accept their own ignorance, and react poorly to constructive criticism.
$2,100 bonus. Full-time UNIX admin, with a liberal sprinkling of integration work on MacOS X.x, Win32, and various bizarre platforms.
:)
After federal, state, and local taxes (which are quite extreme on any income that is not your standard "wage"), $1,263 net take-home. Gave my wife $350, myself $350, and saved the rest for family expenses.
Plus around Thanksgiving, they gave us a gift certficate for a ham that normally costs around $45. It's a nice place to work, lots of fun and challenging projects. Believe it or not, I work for a bank. Times are tough all around, particularly on banks (which really get stiffed with the bills during tough economies), but those who value their employees still try to make sure employees stay satisfied with their employment. To paraphrase P.T. Barnum, the knowledge inside the heads of your employees is your greatest asset, and should be rewarded with reasonable annual increases. Should the employee begin to believe s/he is invaluable, and demand extortionary rates for their continued employ, you should show them the door.
The dance comes when trying to figure out the fine line between "reasonable" and "extortionary"
Matthew P. Barnson
I learn what I think when I read what I write
This is a good example of the principle that you really can do worse things than nothing at all in terms of employee morale. What sort of arrogant oaf would actually believe their employees want his (her?) image as a GIFT?!? It might make a nice gag gift after a bad year if printed on the business side of a dartboard, but otherwise it's just tacky beyond reason.
Personally, I think a modern art treatment would be appropriate. Submerge it in a jar of urine and call it "Piss(ed) CEO".
Well, the employees of a company I used to work for, DirecTV Broadband, got fired for the holidays...
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
I got a tub of popcorn this year with a design on the outside that makes it look like a drum. This year we got 3 flavors instead of 1 like last year! Shows we are 3 times as successful as we were last year, huh!
White elephant gifts are the biggest insult. In every company I have worked at has had year-end bonuses or incentives. Every company has made that a big part of why I should work for them. Evrey company had reduced/eliminated said things while I worked there. It looks like this one is no different. In a lot of cases bonuses are what they tell you makes up for the long hours or you won't get thim if this project dosen't work out. Yet, at the end of the year they can't just objectively tell you the truth about where bonuses stand--that's the rub. Holding it over you head all year then essentially cheating you out of it. Many companies promise it--willingly when they want extra out of the employees. If they don't plan to do it, don't promise it! If they have to do less, honestly explain it and have upper management be consistant!
A company T-Shirt, that has to be ordered (Sorry, we didn't order enough 2XL's was the HR persons repsonse, I personally think it costs more for 2X so they're going to order them when the get hard numbers, cheap bastards) and a $20 gift card to a local supermarket.
I'll gamble that the VP's, got a sizeable ($1000+) bonus like they did last year. We're a small business so it goes Pres -> VP IT/Telecom -> Manager IT -> Sysadmin (Me). I asked my boss if he got a cut of this silly bonus policy to which he replied I wish. I did some envelope calculations based on our price - (bandwidth costs + staff + Equipment) and there was nearly 1 million in profit last year, for our pissant ISP business (< 50000 customers), I wonder what the Cellular side looks like, probably much better though.
09f911029d74e35bd84156c5635688c0
I agree with you about employment, you should think of yourself as an equal simply bartering your labor for cash. On the other hand, giving your employees a bobble-head of yourself is really not treating them as equals in return...
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
It must be a management skill. One place I worked for had a Xmas Party. The MC was dressed as an astronaut?! (It was for a hospital). They handed out Xmas awards to about ten people, the best in the company, who had worked on big projects. The awards were cardboard pyramids with the words 'UFO' on them.
It told us that they thought everyones contribution was a joke. Only not many people laughed!
I (used to) work for the world's largest manufacturer of optical fiber. This Christmas I got laid off. Merry Christmas!
Not so much a company present, but my manager recently gave me a.... Kettle.... for Christmas. Not even an electric kettle - but the kind you put on your stove-top!
Never let it be said that I don't feel valued.
I would rather get nothing than a cheap little gift. Recognition amongst my peers is more valuable to me than some stupid bottle of wine, doll, or what have you. Give me some certificate of accomplishment at least that I can use at my next job. ;)
I've seen people who rake in millions get stupid little gifts and I just think... God, I'm glad that's not me because I'd f-ckin' blow a gasket.
I'm getting pretty f'in tired of the sick bastard with the mod points.
I hope someday you'll be worrying about a layoff and how you're going to feed your family. We'll all get a good chuckle then won't we.
. Quit playing Monopoly with Bill. Switch to one of many non-Microsoft products today.
Me? We had a real nice Christmas party. And since the President is a rather devout Catholic, it was called a Christmas party. And if you found that offensive he'd tell you to go fsck yourself. I guess there's no commandment against swearing (Thou shalt not cuss?!?!)
Laid-off......
I was interviewed the day after Thanksgiving and told to fly to Miami the following Monday (change in Atlanta) for a working audition. Didn't get any per diem advance, which sucked because I have been out of work long enough not to have any money. The first night, there was a mandatory dinner at a restaurant that cost $80 APIECE. After two days on the road, I was told "Welcome aboard, you did a great job" and stuck with my own hotel bill (as well as the $80 restaurant tab). And by the way, the company Christmas party is this Sunday. Flew back (thank God they fronted the airline ticket) and celebrated with my family only to be told 2 hours before the Christmas party, hey sorry dude. Still waiting for my one and only paycheck as well as reimbursement of the &^%$# hotel bill.
Forgive me - - every dog has his day. But I work in the banking industry, and these have been very good times for banks. You know the drill: people get scared of the markets and other risky investments, so they put their savings into cash accounts.
As for me, I was part of a team of four people who saved the company a recurring $350,000/yr. expense by bringing our home banking services in-house (it previously had been with an ASP). We did it for under 50 grand. My part, as the engineer, was setting up firewall and Internet service failover (thanks,RadWare) and putting a couple of relatively secure servers on a DMZ. I had the easy part. Sadly, the platform was Windows/IIS. A shame, yes, but I'm the only guy with interest in Unix in our shop. Oh well. As for the execs, I guess they felt pretty grateful. No complaints from me - - I went out and traded my car for a 2003 model.
Merry Christmas to all,
Laz.
It's only funny until someone gets hurt. Then, it's hilarious.
No one needs 65M a year, and taking that much for herself just shows he's not as loyal to the company as she should be to be the CEO.
"Loyalty to a company" in just about any company over fifty people or so is a sweet-sounding nonexistant Grail. It's lovely material to feed a worker to make him more productive, but it's silly. The company has no particular loyalty to you -- to HR, you're just another statistic that might potentially be sucking down money, and if you ever become a liability instead of an asset (after, of course, factoring in the cost of firing you and the effects on your coworkers of doing so, and considering your future potential value), the company will drop you like a hot potato. The company has no loyalty to you -- why should you to it?
Now, that doesn't mean that justifies things like stealing from the company or trying to shaft it (as some people seem to feel) -- things like this frequently come back and hurt you far worse than any possible benefit. However, whenever you get stuck in your head that the company you work at is a kind, loving father or something, instead of a cold, profit-seeking institution, you're running the risk of painful dillusionment.
I see people post here ever so frequently that "I gave 80 hours a week of work to my company and they didn't give me anything back" or "Times are tight, so my company is firing because it's best for all of us, but they really don't want to fire me". Bad mental state to be in. Don't come to rely on your company for more than they signed on for in your contract, and you won't have any nasty surprises.
This wasn't all aimed at you, more of a general feeling towards Slashdotters complaining that they didn't get what they expected...
May we never see th
We'll get laid!
I got $50CAD ..
5 days maditory vacation, and both Christmas and New Years Day as a holiday. I'm fortunate in that all the overtime I've put in can be converted to comp time, and I can use that instead. Not everyone is as lucky (to be allowed to get/use comp time).
So, I get some time to get things done around the house, go see LotR II, and generally relax and de-stress.
That is as long as nothing at work breaks (because then I'd have to go into work).
And no, I'm not complaining, I'm looking forward to it- I can use the break. But I sure hope nothing breaks.
Who knows, maybe I'll get a bobble head doll too.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
You need to get a better perspective on things. First off, it's an irrelevancy how well the company CEO is being treated other than how it affects the macroeconomics of the company (very likely it is only a minor factor). Decide how well you need to be treated and make it happen. Getting angry over getting a bobble doll is the equivalent to a little kid throwing a tantrum.
Working diligently to find a place that properly values your skills is a better idea, or improving your skillset if your current skills are valued appropriately or overvalued.
"retarded dictionary shit on your keyboard..."
HAHAHAHAHA! That's some funny fuckin' shit mother fucker!
All I'm getting for Christmas is a 150% increase in my contribution to the heath insurance plan (for next year).
Now that's a nice bonus!
This year, the president of the company is taking us to Bobby McGee's in Brea, CA for a party. Any bonuses are left to be seen, but maybe we'll get insurance this year.
This sig no verb.
...the day after the Christmas party, half the office was laid off.
So, mister whining bobblehead-doll recipient, kindly "eat a bag of dicks".
I know plenty of people who'd have accepted a bobblehead doll and a job instead of what they got last year.
"Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
I'd prefer it if they'd keep the turkey and stuff it with the donation request.
What really sucks is that I go to my job 35 hours a week, and get jack squat for it - no salary even - except the promise of a "diploma" and some BS about "training" and "education." And if I quit, my next of kin get jailtime.
Talk about bad jobs.
Glog!
They said something about work ethic and reliability, I still think it was something to do with my girth, hairyness, and general odor ;)
Actually, last week they elminated pay incrases and bonuses .... but I didn't get a pink slip like 1000 others :)
it's one of the many reasons I don't want to be a manager. they gotta get on costumes and dance at meetings and stuff. The bad part is that they have to act like they enjoy doing it. (perhaps they do, but I'm not dumb enough to ask a question like that)
Same as every year... $300 cash bonus.
Sorry, a little off topic here, but does anybody notice the high number of replies to this article? I think this might be some kind of record. Does slashdot keep any statistics on this kind of stuff?
maybe we're all just a little angry that our companies didn't give us anything for Christmas. Personally, our office christmas party consisted of going to a restaurant, we covered our own expenses, company put in nothing.... And as for me, I worked all weekend, so I could take a couple days off around Christmas.... Damn coop employers who don't consult you on when you want your contract to end.... Even though it should be obvious that you might want to be off before christmas, especially when you start early missing out on your summer, on short notice, because they are in a rush and need stuff done </rant>
I lost my job. Doh.
You know what I get for Christmas? The pager. I have to give it back on January 1st. Merry Christmas
a $25 Wal-mart gift certificate from the company and a little leather note book thing from my department. I am not complaining since I am just a co-op student who work 6 months out of the year!
http://www.freepokerchipset.info
Maybe not every company can afford, and not every employee would deserve, extra on their paycheck every holiday season. But that doll was pretty stupid.
I suspect most of that company's employees would've been happier skipping the doll and not having had to pay for parking for the party.
This article reminds me of memorable passage this passage from Das Capital :
From Vol 1, Part III, Ch 7, Section 2 - "The Production of Surplus-Value"
[The "speaker" here is yer own "Bobble Head" boss]
"Can the labourer," he asks, "merely with his arms and legs, produce commodities out of nothing? Did I not supply him with the materials, by means of which, and in which alone, his labour could be embodied? And as the greater part of society consists of such ne'er-do-wells, have I not rendered society incalculable service by my instruments of production, my [workstation] and my [JBuilder license], and not only society, but the labourer also, whom in addition I have provided with the necessaries of life? And am I to be allowed nothing in return for all this service?"...Our friend, up to this time so purse-proud, suddenly assumes the modest demeanour of his own workman, and exclaims: "Have I myself not worked? Have I not performed the labour of superintendence and of overlooking the [programmer]? And does not this labour, too, create value?" His overlooker and his manager try to hide their smiles. Meanwhile, after a hearty laugh, he re-assumes his usual mien. Though he chanted to us the whole creed of the economists, in reality, he says, he would not give a brass farthing for it.
[end quote]
Most people in this country are sheep.Unfortunately we are all too brainwashed by pop-culture and consumerism to realize it. So we will continue to get fucked over each xmas. I don't know about the rest of you, but I was getting screwed back when the times were GOOD. My boss was paying himself 6-figures where I was barely above minimum wage when you factored in the total hours (he "couldn't be bothered" with over time).
Who cares if you aren't getting a raise. Hey, at least you've got the latest Spider Man DVD, drive an Explorer and have got a new pair of Nikes. Retirement plan? Humbug! Bobble Head and his Board have that well invested in *heh* COMPANY STOCK.
People in NYC are pissed at the Transit Workers Union right now for threatening to strike. Well, I think we could all learn something from them. We should look to them as role models. Maybe if we all grew some balls like they have and had a National Strike demanding CEO compensation reform (like they HAVE in Germany and other EU states) we would not be getting a lump of coal every XMas.
We are bringing it on ourselves by being a bunch of spineless, whining wimps.
Our company had a huge year (insurance company specializing in annuities). The company is handing out money from a bonus pool of $33 million to ~ 2500 employees. The money is not evenly divided but I (a 2 year employee, and helpdesk analyst) expect to get several thousand dollars ($4000 - $7000). I will get the check this Friday...
My company is still very profitable, so my Christmas bonus remains the same: profit sharing into the 401k of about 5% your yearly salary, as well as a bonus check that equals your usual 2-week pay. I love my CEO - just not in that way.
Your CEO must give damn good bobbling head to make $64M. We're not talking about Carly, are we?
You *really* should be grateful...almost lost my house this year because of an untimely business failure. I'm just grateful I am working and providing for my family. :-)
P.S. Did get some cool $100 Home Depot gift certs one year though!
I'm sub-contracted by the government, funded by the government, but WITHOUT government benefits or government pay. The departament I work in was implemented after the 9/11 events - to protect our country against possible terrorism transiting U.S. waters. We are a 24-7 operation and are referred to as "essential personnel" who aren't entitled to SHIT! Makes one feel like a true shining hero - toiling away for this country for what? Being fucked without so much as a kiss.
For our efforts, our *Seagull Manager went out of her way to give a generic card with a robot-style greeting - enclosed was a blue lanyard keychain with the words "HOMELAND SECURITY" embroidered on it. We've been corn-holed YET AGAIN.
I've since shredded the card and "lost" the keychain. I'd rather have had the bobblehead - at least I'd have had something to perform sadistic rituals on.
*Seagull Manager: one who flies in, makes alot of noise, shits all over everything, and then leaves.
Unfortunately, I work for a company that makes stock option plan management software. This company will of course, remain unnamed. However, I deal with this shit, each and every day of my life. I thus can't resist but point out how rediculous your post is.
Cashing in options on insider info is totally illegal. That's insider trading, bud.
Insider trading does not APPLY to stock options. Stock options are NOT stocks. They are options! (duhhh!) AKA derivative securities. They derive their value from future ownership. You can exercise stock options whenever they vest. It is theoretically possible someone could then sell those stocks at some future pivotal state, but I can tell you that 95%+ of optionees do same day sales, as soon as the stock in the money. That being the case, insider trading is pretty much impossible since they are waiting a long time for those options to vest. Note, that is a figure I observe after having see hundreds of databases in my days.
If your broker has proof you have the options, he should have NO PROBLEM shorteslling the stock the second you call him to do it, and then you replace the short with your options. THAT is how you get current market price on options, without risk.
I don't play the market in that fashion myself. But most stocks that are underwater are flat... You aren't going to make any money shorting the stock because the value isn't going to be changing. Its already worthless, especially today.
What does short selling have to do with stock options? Absolutely nothing Short selling, by the very definition is selling of stock you do not own. Usually, it is stock owned by the broker or from another client. This stock is lended to you, and you promise to buy it in the future. It is a loan, and a gamble. As any true loan, it can be called by the owner. So you can't keep it forever. But to make a long story short, when you buy back the stock if the price is lower than the day you borrowed it, the difference is credited to your account. If the price is higher than the day you borrowed it, you owe the difference. Read more here.
Exercising options on the open market and then holding the stock is a BAD idea.... there is a taxable benefit on the difference between what you paid and fair market value of the stock. It's not considered capital gains.. which means if the stock goes down, you get a capital loss, but you can't offset your tax obligation.
This is what really proves you don't know anything about stock options. Congress has allowed for the first $100,000 of stock acquired in a calender year to be sold tax free if they are held for the minimum required time of one year after date of vesting. These are called Incentive Stock Options, or ISO's. Options in excess of $100,000 a year are called NQ's, or non-qualified, because they don't qualify for the tax benefit. Read more about the IRS code at Findlaw.
Go with the short.
I hope you read up a little more on short selling. You my actually make some money some day, if you ever have the credit or collateral to do so.
I don't read or respond to AC posts
Well, I haven't gotten a bonus from my company yet. The only thing I can look forward to is a lame party at one of the manager's houses. No alcohol allowed. However, I just got back from a two-day expenses paid trip to Vegas that my girlfriends company gave to all employees. She works for a small staffing company. Now, that is a great way to say thanks to your people. They have the x-mas party in Vegas EVERY YEAR.
...was getting laid off.
That was way cool.
Proletariat of the world, unite to kill CEOs
In Soviet Russia, I ruled you
gift gives YOU!
hmm... I wonder why it's called Christmas then?
The Web is like Usenet, but
the elephants are untrained.
I work for a local diecast firm, and it seems I may be the start of their eventual IT dept. So it's got a chance for growth. It's family run, and has been around for 50 yrs.
I've been given the duty of starting to automate their production data gathering and reporting, and machine diagnostic stuff. It's all rather cool, and intresting. I've essentially been paid to learn and get this going.
I'm not officially an employee, currently I am working as a contractor, but I do have some say as to what I need to get the job done. A few more months, I may get hired on permanently...
This was a nice break after being out of work for the last YEAR.
Christmas wise, they offer a christmas party for everyone! Including the hourly and contract labor at a local restaurant (prior engagements prevented my attendance ). And they give out Christmas hams and Thanksgiving turkeys out to all the employees.
It's a really nice place, and I sometimes feel guilty that most of the week I am learning some new skill. But they get me at a cheaper price than a dedicated Rockwell Software consultant, and I'll have the first core chunk of the work done by march...
That reminds me, I better give them christmas cards this year...
-Daniel
In a unique idea from my employer, they're renting out a local movie theatre at 12:01am on Dec. 18th. That's right! They're paying for all of us to see LOTR: The Two Towers before anyone else. I'd prefer a bonus, but this is going to be pretty cool.
:-P
It'll be interesting to see who shows up for work after the movie ends at 3am.
lexbaby
"Be Brave, Be Loyal, Be True." -- Hawkeye Pierce
My boss however, got a hat. He's been at the company for 26 years, and they got him a baseball hat. I can't wait till I get my hat... I figure, I've only got another 25 years to go. mmm...baseball hat....
Insert witty
Way too many Score 5's in this article. What's up with that?
Bonus, Yeah right!! I am a programmer for a medium size company. I get a piss poor salary and work about 45-50 hrs a week. As a Xmas gift we are getting a damn $17 shirt with the company logo on it. Yet we are growing so fast we are hiring about 2-4 people a month and have a operating cost that is 33% lower then any other company, in the same industry, in the state.....I wonder why?
is the fact that for some reason you believe the company owes you something. I find that a lot of people (mostly those who complain all the time) feel that the world/life/"the man" owes them something. Well, they owe you a fair wage for your work and that's about it as far as obligation goes.
Anything more than what you contractually agreed upon should be considered a gift (read: luxury). It's this attitude that fuels this ungrateful generation and is a good reason that the IT world is in the crapper.
By the way, if you don't like the bobble head doll, and are so offended...quit. There's about 1000 people ready to take your position.
as a IT contractual, i get nothing while i watch the other permanents happily receive their bonus. I also heard our CEO got a VERY VERY big bonus, enough to buy a condo unit :( :)
well, at least I have work, earning something and saving something for this stupid recession...
well guess what? its that time again, seeing other happily getting their bonuses, our CEO getting another HUGE bonus... guess what? I don't care, as long as I have a job, getting paid good enough, saving some money, still young, then I guess I should be happy, maybe someday I'll earn something I've always been dreaming of, but for now, I should just accept and be happy with what I do have, its better than nothing anyways
As a reward for all of our hard work (we're merging 2 different companies in a ridiculous amount of time) the Corporate Systems area has been granted an evening out ... staff only of course. We're being feted with a dinner, 2 free drinks and ... wait for it ... 2 hours of dancing. Did I mention that Corporate Systems is about 90% male? Well I suppose it won't be so bad ... you see, our site is being bused to the event. The bus leaves to return home halfway through the dance. If I wanted to dance with the other guys I might be upset that I have to leave early. Fortunately my wife will be waiting for me at home.
... really. Coincidentally ... the Corporate Systems "dinner and dance" falls on the same day as the lunch. Something tells me that Corporate Systems won't be spending much money on dinner...
Oh, the other thing we get is a corporate christmas lunch in our cafeteria. Something everyone looks forward to
I work for a generous company. We got $700 and a cool pull over zip sweatshirth thing with the company logo on it.
Way cool.
well, I got a compact self-contained picnic blanket, which was pretty cool because a week before my girlfriend got a picnic 'pack' complete with chiller pouch and cutlery from her company. The two complement each other nicely. Now we are both looking forward to picnicing near Lake Taupo over New Years. Far more useful than a silly gift, although I did get a huge Christmas ham a few years back, which was cool.
and all I had to do for all of this was to get drunk and sing "Like a Virgin" karaoke.
What fun!
I'm a hamker. Hams, hackers, same ethos, different medium. == 73 de KB0STG
early evangelical christians in roman-era pagan europe bumped into some major issues when it came to getting converts. namely, most of those pagans didn't give two shakes about christ, but they *did* care about their traditional festivals.
so in an effort to proselytize more of the locals, christians co-opted the local festivals, linking them to nearby christian holidays. (no one really had any idea when jesus was born anyway due to lowsy calendars and inaccurate information).
festivals they couldn't wrestle into christian days were ridiculed. the new year - i.e. the logical one starting in the spring - became known as April Fools' Day.
dramage
Yeah, our group didn't get bonuses this year. Bummer. I did manage to snag a bobble head monkey at the company Christmas party. It came with a shriner-style fez hat. I mean it *is* a monkey and all. That's cool, but I would've rather seen the overhead from the party divided amongst our group ;)
I work for a big SEC university doing network stuff. What I got for Christmas was... the day off. No, wait- I'm on call Christmas. Guess I didn't get nuthin'.
Network geek with a strong affinity for Telecasters
No CEO bobble heads on eBay. Does that mean they're rare?
Well, they're at least as common as "cigar butts"...zero of those on eBay.
My bonus was my boss telling me that we are running out of money and I won't be getting my paycheck for much longer. Good thing I am working for another company on the side.
I don't know about this guy, but I've had bosses I'd love to be able to give a good head bobbling smack to...seems like it would help make me a happier employee...
Always value the individual over the system. --Bruce Lee "I don't need a Sig - I have a custom 191" - me
Nothing at all. They fleece their clients and suck the life out of their employees while keeping the phantom of layoffs just around the corner to keep everyone motivated. So here's my xmas gift to my company:
The company's name is "EuroRSCG Circle", and we do 'interactive marketing'. If you are considering having circle.com do any web work for you, run away fast. We _will_ rip you off, and we will do shitty work.
A bonus should not be expected unless it was part of your hiring/salary negotiations. Personally, I like big fat bonus checks, but I don't believe they are a requirement.
That CEO is an insensitive clod! What a jerk! You oughta place a trashcan in the lobby (covertly) with a sign on it and see how many employees toss theirs in. Hmm, maybe not covertly, I wouldn't want to work at a place like that.
Anyway, all this complaining about bonuses...I work in higher education. We get a "holiday" party. Though it's not easy to be bitter about it. I chose to work in education, I have way better than average job security, good benefits, and a relatively low stress job. And an office with a door. I just don't make as much as people in business do. Then again, I have a job.
nothing yet... but there's still a week until our two week shutdown... hmm... shutdown?
"So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"
sex from my secretary.... and her BOBBLING head....
my blog
I do have an account here, but posting anonymously when bitching about management who may also be reading this is probably wise..
This is more of a general complaint about how the people who keep the company going get crapped on, and how this particular holiday just magnifies the issue even more than usual.
I'll be working 12/24 and 12/25. This is after working every other holiday this year. Why is this? Well because while management can take the days off and pay themselves whatever they feel like, I get paid a fraction of a normal day for taking a holiday off. Considering what I am already making it is something which I cannot afford to do. Infact I will even be on call 24x7 over this holiday, just as I have been for the past several.
Day off? What's that? I even work on projects unpaid on the weekends simply because at this point rather than hire people who can take the load off me and making such a thing unnecessary we hire people with skills that are more luxury than necessity.
So for all this effort I am thanked by being forced to work through national holidays, perhaps the only real chance I would have at getting a day or two off all year.
As for a bonus, that's laughable. Forget money. Generally it is a mostly useless toy that in no way makes up for the treatment I've received over the past 364 days. Rumor had it that this year we were going to be getting something which would be totally useless for me, considering that at my home I get an entire 2 television channels. Of course now there is talk that there will simply be no bonus whatsoever.
Of course the managers are taking holidays on company money.
Based on some other posts I've read this kind of behavior doesn't seem unique to my case at all. The fact that it can just continue with no apparent way of stopping it short of quitting and finding work elsewhere is depressing. You'll probably just end up in another place with the exact same kind of ordeal.
... if every single worker in every single IT department went on strike, then almost all business everywhere would grind to a screeching halt as servers fail, networks go down, and copy machines run out of toner.
We know who's really in control of this modern corporate empire now don't we?
At our school, we don't earn a degree when we graduate—we earn pi/180 radians
...you want fries with that?
Last year:
I got some cash, which was enough to buy the rest of the staff presents, because I know they didn't get shit..
My girlfriend got laid off from Lockheed Martin. They laid off her entire department, as they do every year. Fire everyone, hire new staff, then you don't have to give raises.
This year:
I got the pleasure of being told to move 3000 miles, and foot most of the bill myself, and take a cut in pay (about 30%). My other option was job hunting. I'm still questioning if I made the right choice.
My girlfriend moved with me, and hasn't found a job yet, so she doesn't get anything from a job..
We haven't received anything but a warm rumor that there won't even be a company xmas party..
My xmas bonus will come if the pager doesn't go off for a couple days from someone fucking up..
Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
12.9% bonus minus taxes
and 5% raise starting in January?
Do you really need a Christmas bonus??? No, of course not, we don't care about Christmas... it's all about New Years Eve. As long as you have a beer, a whore, and enough money to bail yourself out on the 1st everything will be AOK.
Nyquil = Nectar of the devil
our 300 MILLION dollar company gave each of us a logo shirt AND a $25 gift card! Whoo hoo! I still have my job though...
...breast exam!
That is precisely the attitude! Success at all costs!
Really. We all got frozen turkeys. It's a yearly tradition.
Two of my co-workers are strict vegetarians, so give theirs to friends who do eat meat, or to a local shelter.
I stick mine in the deep freeze, then grill it around mid-August.
I didn't get shit. I'm the owner of the company. But I didn't give my employees shit either. They are the ones who fucked up. That's why we didn't make any money and are barely keeping our noses above the water. Anyone who complains can go fuck themselves, because I don't give a shit. If they had done their damn work and not given me excuses all year long, maybe they would have gotten something.
I received a case of Miller High Life.
Mmm, beer.
I got laid the hell off.
I got a monetary bonus, a BioWare coffee mug, a NWN collector's edition, and personal thanks from Ray and Greg, the owners and CEOs (just like everyone else did.)
Besides that, however, I have the satisfaction of working at an incredible company with brilliant people. I'd do it all without any of the stuff I got this year.
Job satisfaction is the best bonus of all. If you get a bobble-head doll, and feel like you need more of a bonus, you don't have the job satisfaction that you deserve. Move on.
for all you suck-up i-read-ayn-rand-once-and-whoo-boy-do-i-know-how-th ings-really-are wonks...
america, justice, freedom and yes, your precious precious enormocorps were, are , and likely always will be built on the efforts of working people. executives, ceo's, politicos, upper management and the like all contribute to that effort, too, but the brass balls bread and butter heart and soul of american worklife is the people who punch clocks, tap code, answer the phones, sort the mail, execute the schematics, maintain the servers, teach the kids, drive the bus, file the duplicates, bag your groceries and run the machines that make america and the whole damn world go.
corporate officers and board members do some high-level steering, no doubt or question, but i'll be damned if it makes any lick of cosmic sense that with "hard times" and "necessary cutbacks" those mooks deserve 6 figure bonuses while the standard joe and jane punchcards have to carry home a freaking bobblehead to put under the christmas tree or chanukah bush.
considering the amount of setbacks the labor movement has incurred in the last 30 or so years i guess it isn't a surprise that so many people have been encouraged (brainwashed?) to think that merely having a job is a sign of incredible corporate generosity, but when they're squeezing 50+ hours out of you, raising your co-pay on the insurance you're "lucky" to have, demanding you do ever more on an ever smaller paycheck... well, i think you deserve a christmas/holiday/end-of-year bonus. and yes, i do mean automatically, for anyone there 90 days or longer, in an amount the company can afford; if they have the green to pay 8 million in bonuses to 20 executives they could just as easily and much more humanely give ten thousand employees $800 each instead. *that* would be a real joy and victory for decency and the american way
and for those who think that workers don't deserve a bonus... well merry christmas to you too, scrooge, and have fun down at ken lay's house while the canapes last. santa has some coal for you.
I would send this to the guys at f*ckedcompany.com. Its just a matter of time till your company appears on that list.
Quit playing Monopoly with Bill.
Linux - of the people, by the people, and for the people.
A one year subscription to the Jelly of the Month club. It's the gift that keeps on giving all year long.
Laid off. Along with 6999 of my closest colleagues.
Merry Christmas!
Honestly the corporations are so full of shit always trying to squeeze employees. I wonder what happens treat your employees like crap and you do not see returns it is time tech was incentivized like people in business fields are.
The techs and workers do all the work, a bunch of suited monkey make decisions and see the techs as a cost rather than what they are, a savings. They pat themselves on the back for building a company and doing everything when it was the hardworking technical people building value they will never see. I know a CFO of a company and have heard stories of how sad some of the other executives trying to cut the yearly bonuses and raises while they go out and build 2 million dollar homes in florida to compliment their 10mil main homes, buying jet shares, while crying the blues and trying to cheat hardworking employees and on top of this make them pay the increased price for health insurance.
So just remember how many stupid business people are paying themselves while the people building the value suffer. The idea of the bonus is to tell the employees the companies value their hardwork and the fact that the company needs them. So no bonus is a slap in the face especially if things remain good for upper management.
Honestly the bad times we are encountering is because of the stupidity of these upper management types and their slowing of corporate spending, their disreputable practices, and the corporate structure which strives to keep the talented down because idiots are in charge.
Honest read business week and you will hear about farming engineering out as if it was manufacturing. It is too bad that most of these management types would crack under the stress of engineering and probably would not make it through University.
By not giving a bonus the message is, the company only wants to keep you in the job so we will only placate you when you have options. Do you know what I say, F*CK that I will then only do what has to be done to keep my job. If ceo types realized this they would see if you make people think the company values them and will promote them, give them bonuses and salary increases we will see more productive companies.
In France jobless people expect and are granted christmas bonus on their compensation.
sad but true.
No one's entitled to a Christmas bonus. Its an extra, a nice optional that companies may or may not choose to give. Of course, the reason companies do so is to endear their employees to the company. Companies that don't do such may be susceptible to poorer relations with their employees, and may run higher risks of strikes and other problems. Etc.
But a Christmas gift is not something one is entitled to, nor gauranteed. However, I agree with the person who submitted the article: giving employees a doll of the CEO is insulting. What does he think, that they all should admire him that much that they should make a doll-house for a miniature of himself? What an ego-maniacal thing to give employees. Like anyone has any use for this thing.
It would be better not to give anything at all, than to give something that insulting.
Imagine if for Christmas, I gave my girlfriend a miniature doll of myself...I'm sure that'd fly over real well, right?
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
so let me get this straight, we are supposed to get christmas bonuses????
----
12" ibook, G3 700, 640MB RAM, 20GB HD
What did you get from your Company for Christmas?
Laid off. On my birthday. Happy Birthday, and Merry Christmas.
Blah blah blah.
This year we did one of those "Secret Santa" things -- y'know, you draw a name from a hat, and have to buy someone a gift of $20.00 (Canadian) or under.
So I sent out a department-wide email, stating that I would prefer a donation to the World Wildlife Fund or the World Society for the Protection of Animals, which are two causes I support regularly (please give! =).
Several co-workers answered with an affirmative "That's a good idea -- whomever got my name in the Secret Santa draw should make a donation, too!"
Anyhow, sending out this email caused quite a stir in the office, as some (anonymous) people responded saying they wanted gifts, not charitable donations. Others responded with messages stating how the department should pool its resources and adopt a tiger (although this can be had for $40.00CAD through the WWF).
An email thread continued for quite some time, bouncing the 'donation vs. (tangible) present' idea back-and-forth, until my manager responded with an email, paraphrased below:
"This Secret Santa was meant to be a joyful gift exchange, but seeing as how we can't agree on physical gifts or charitable ones, we should just cancel the entire thing."
Now, I realise that my manager was playing peacemaker, but it just goes to show you the general atmosphere of my workplace.
Sorry, I just had to rant...
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed above are MINE AND MINE ALONE. They do not represent those of my (un-named) place of business.
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
I trust CEO types who built their company or saved it from ruin they had vision, talent, and leadership. What I don't like are CEO's like MS Fiorina of HPaq because they fail to see the value added by R&D. Some people did work hard others are just assholes. Most CEO types are master manipulators. Chances are you as an employee add more to the corporatation proportionally than the CEO does. You do not realise the compensation for most big CEOs is in the field of millions.
On top of this these fricken rich people manage to skirt taxes and pass it on to the people who work. Even if you make a very large salary you are paying percentage wise more than the truely wealthy and it is wrong why most we get screwed for some one else.
Hmmm, let's see, four days without pay. That's right, company shutdown, loss of wages... Merry Chrismas! I would have loved to get a bobble-head doll and a full paycheck...
I want to see area adjusted tax rates because in CA fricken 150,000 is not alot of money but in alabama you are rich. If you are having a hard time paying the bills 47% taxes are a killer. Hell they pay less than that in canada, get free college, free healcare, and the cost of living is less. If only it were not so cold.
I work for a very large mutual fund company. The past two years the company officers recieved no bonus, and at my company bonus for officers is a very significant portion of their financial compensation. The elves recieved bonuses, based on merit, and raises, just smaller than usual.
This year everyone gets a bonus, based on merit, and the Officers and top two management layers will not recieve raises, but the elves will.
Oh, did I mention that we haven't laid off any anyone.
"Benefits become entitlements". Don't start giving or letting someone have something if you can't afford to keep giving it.
Somebody already made that joke, I was going to too but checked first. This is the first thing that comes to mind though... maybe this guy should ask his bro (or somebody else with a nut loose and few scruples) to bring his boss in hogtied with a big bow so he can tell him how he feels about the bobble-head doll.
I've never had a holiday bonus, but I've worked a few companies that were very good to employees. On one of my better jobs, you banked an extra holiday for every 2 weeks where there was no stat, we also had a very nice departmental picnic and various prizes that good employees one (plus a draw that anyone could win). Everyone I know at that job was great to get along with, and the company environment was incredible.
If I had ever needed to, I would have gone out of my way (overtime, holiday work, on-call, etc) for that company in a second - because I knew I was appreciated. Maybe we don't need an Xmas bonus, but just a donation of appreciation (hell, a box of chocolates or even a chocolate bar) makes me feel a lot better about how my employers appreciate me.
For all those that are scraping coins right now, I wish you better days ahead, happy holidays, and perhaps a lucky lottery ticket.
Because this was a tough year, all I got was $65 million instead of the $100 million I exepected. I even took it upon myself to by a nice, tasteful holiday trinket for my employees so they could be inspired by my selfless sacrifice for the company. What do I get for it? Just ungrateful bitching.
most tech companies have increased revenues while not expanding to match growth (or continue to "downsize"). Profits are booming. 4Q earnings should be impressive.
We spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on our educations for what, they treat us like factory workers.
I got a laser printer. A fax machine. Some staplers. A chair. A work station. Some good speakers. A scanner. Two monitors. A CD-RW drive. And a shitload of software.
I took them all home and now I'm having a very Merry Christmas!
...one year, my boss, let's call him, "Bill", gave me a handshake and a farewell for Christmas after making me drive all across town to pick up engineering drawings and visit job sites on my day off. Thanks.
-- Game Developers: Stop porting badly-textured games from crappy console systems!
I got laid off 30 days from X-mas The pricks...Projected Return date is Feb 1st. Hell the X-mas party was even Cancled.. Bosses got 10% of yearly Salary as a X-mas Bonus.
This is a serious question:
Is a "bonus" of a few dollars cash really any better than a silly toy? Put aside any consideration that the toy is in poor taste, or exceedingly egotistic. Pretend it's just funny, but essentially lacking any intrinsic value. A tree ornament, whatever.
Would a "bonus" of an extra $5 really make anyone any happier?
We canceled the restaurant party, and shut down for two weeks without pay. My wife and I decided the company needed a party even more, and volunteered to host a potluck this week. I think most people in our small company (10 people) will show up.
Happy holidays!
Fucking "I have it worse than all of you" whiners. A bobble head of the guy who made money off of YOUR work while YOU had to scrape by is certainly worth bitching about. It's like leaving a small tip. It's worse than no tip at all.
The real problem to married couples with children isn't salaries, it's taxes.
Nowadays, the tax rate is so oppressive one person has to work just to pay the tax burden.
And yet, like the sheep that we are, we will continue voting for republicrats or demopublicans that'll just keep sticking it to us.
And just how exactly do you suggest that governments pay for everything?
Emergency services, armed forces, welfare programmes, legal systems, healthcare and other municipal services don't grow on trees you know. Or were you expecting policemen, firemen, soldiers, social workers, court clerks, doctors, nurses and garbage collectors to work for nothing?
Try living in the real world for a change.
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
I work for Brinker International Foods Corp (The presiding business over restaraunts like Chili's Grill and Bar, Macaroni Grill, Corner Bakery, etc)...
I took three months off to go to school, and when I came back, I noticed I had been demoted to my old job that I had worked past. What ever, they're all scathing bastards.
Mike
If you don't like the way you're treated at work, then start your own company. You'll soon find out the challenges of being an employer. Working for someone is a priviledge, not a right.
holiday pink slips as well...5000 in total
Merry Fscking Christmas. Of course the CEO got a HUGE BONUS and we got a pat on the back for great work and told no raise, do more cause we laid off 15% of the support staff....
Oh, it was a serious question?
A job for at least another couple of months.
Yeah right. The company I work for is slated to make about 7 BILLION US dollars at the end of the quarter. I don't know what the boys up top are getting (but I'm sure it's valuable, green and in large quantities) but us down here are getting precisely jack shit. Oh, I forgot, they're giving us 2 weeks off for the Christmas break...but it's not paid vacation, so we have to use whatever time we have left or take a massive pay cut. The only raise I ever get around here is the middle finger.
The company I work for donated money in my name for charity.
I suggest you donate to a good cause too.
Here are some links with information:
American red cross
Doctors without borders
Merry Christmas.
English is not my first language, so cut me some slack -: Om du kan lasa det har sa kan du Svenska
A big jar of vasoline. the boss was thoughful to ease the pain of whats to come...
Lizard "Never let them set limits on your mind!"
a chocolate Santa and a lotto ticket.
I know some people who are out of work who are excellent at what they do -- far better than 90% of the people who are still employed. The fact is, the job market sucks an artificially large amount right now.
People who are in crap jobs are in many cases doing it because they have bills to pay, not because they are gluttons for punishment.
Furthermore, I genuinely believe that after years of employers having to cater to employees and try to please them by buying them free cokes and stuff, there are some employers who are really enjoying having the tables turned. (In fact, one employer of mine came out and told me that he was very pleased about it!)
...
But, hourly, you get paid more, you work less (or get paid a HELL of a lot more), you don't have to deal with the beauracratic bullshit, and you can switch jobs at will.
That's a completely absurd statment and you know it. The days of switching IT jobs "at will" are gone (assuming they were even really there). You might get paid more up front as an non-exempt employee, but you lose a lot in the long run (like vacation time, paid holidays, medical benefits, retirement benefits, stock options/profit sharing, etc) which can make up for a lot of "lost pay".
I can't recall any instance of a company wanting to hire someone who demands an hourly wage over one who doesn't. If you're a 1099 contractor type, then that's one thing. But it's not the same as getting paid hourly.
Anyway, if you've found your niche then more power to you. But let people find security where they can -- in actually having a job. If you find a good job that you wouldn't mind doing which pays a decent salary, then take it. If you don't, then lots of others will be glad to fill your place.
-B
Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.
On Wednesday, December 4, I was called into a meeting with my Technical and Manging Directors. Also present was the company accountant.
Effective immediately, I was made redundant. I was asked to pick up my stuff and go. This was code for "Clear out your desk, never come back."
Merry f*cking Christmas.
This past year, I swallowed my pride and joined a local ISP while I waited for my dream employer to come out of a hiring freeze. After about eight months with a really nice group of people but no real challenge or pay to match, the freeze ended and I switched companies, to the disappointment of the ISP.
.com days, but the fact that it was offered at all, to an ex-employee, was probably the nicest thing I've ever seen a company do.
I was very sad to go, and I felt more than a little guilty about the fact. Last week, my wife and I received some very persistant invitations to my former employer's Christmas party; my wife went, since I was out of town, and received a prorated Christmas Bonus and a lot of general good will from the owner of the company and the staff.
Usually when an employee leaves a company for a bigger position elsewhere, an undercurrent of nastiness follows: the company and its people resents the loss of the employee. This company, though, insists on keeping a very friendly relationship with me, including repeated open invitations to stop by and mooch coffee.
The bonus was pretty meager, compared to what I remember from the
Weapons of Mass Analysis
Instead of hoping your boss will graciously appreciate your hard work and give you what you want (aka more money), go and *get* your money. If that means quitting your job and doing *whatever* it takes to meat your goals, then do it.
You may end up in a different career, or you may even end up behind bars, but at least you went for the whole pie instead of hoping for a handout.
This may sound far-fetched and idealistic (and even off-topic), but it's really your only option if you want to succeed in life. Stop hoping for hand-outs. There are none.
You didn't hear it from me!
Hmmm... never saw a 'bobble' doll here in Germany.
:)
Does the head burst if you jump on it? What about hanging it from a noose, you think your company would comment on that?
Or follow Dilberts lead: put it on your monitor and slap it every time you feel irritated.
I don't really see what the fuss is about. You don't like it, dump it in the trash or, better yet, do something [de|con]structive with it.
Ciao,
Klaus
PS: Okay, I'll admit it. Our company is giving its annual christmas dinner bash at a nice restaurant, and we're all looking forward to it
Free PC version of ChipWits at http://www.breueronline.de/klaus/chipwits/
I bet the emperors gave away dolls of themselves to their senators too. With little togas and laurel crowns.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
Well, we've never received Christmas bonuses...When we receive bonuses (if we do) they usually come around April for whatever reason, and are **small** monetary amounts.
;)
Of course, this year, myself and many others will receive no bonuses because we were laid off. Meanwhile, the CEO raked in over $32-million in salary and bonuses even though the stock was sinking. That makes no sense to me, but hey, what do I care now other than the fact that the stock options I'd built up are now worthless.
Those bobblehead dolls of the CEO are the ultimate in ego-tripping for the bastard. I think if I had gotten one of those I would've ripped the head off it, put some red paint on the neck area, and sent the "severed" head via post to his office
The company that laid me off, a major telco in the US and beyond, was never very good at giving decent raises or bonuses to the drones. Some managers would give small gifts around Christmas, usually things that nobody wanted and usually they were completely inappropriate...Like the time my manager gave me a heavily-scented candle despite the fact that heavy fragrances gave me severe asthma attacks. Gee, thanks for THAT one!
Oh, and this year, some of my mates who are still at the company get 1/2-day off on the 24th December IF they aren't already taking it off (this was announced just this past week) AND their immediate supervisor says they can AND there is no business need for them to be there (i.e. they aren't shift workers). They cannot take any other 1/2 day off with the possible exception of 31 December. So, we figure about 2 or 3 people out of 100,000+ in the company will be able to take the 1/2-day off.
Another thing they love to do rather than give money, is to give gift certificates that are about to expire and/or to restaurants that are not in the area, or promotional t-shirts, etc. that they couldn't get rid of any other way (at least the t-shirts are of SOME use, though!).
We had to be there for Y2K, and they gave us meal vouchers for pizza they had brought in to the cafeteria. Only problem was that we weren't allowed to leave our desks long enough to get down there and back, in case there was a crisis.
Oh well, I don't work there anymore...I feel more sorry for my mates who are left behind though. Some of them are expected to provide 24x7x365 coverage with only 2 people even though they have more than enough work to keep 6 people busy.
-- Some people live life in the fast lane. I live life in oncoming traffic.
my company made me redundant.
Which made a nice change from the usual bonuses and parties.
I'm posting this anonymously just because.
I work for Comverse (the people who make the phone taping s/w for US, UK and Israel Governments). They gave us some little USB digital Cameras, 1024 x 768 resolution, no zoom. Novelty wore off after we'd gone round the office totty shooting, besides we sell stuff to mobile networks too, so we all have MMS capable phones!
Why don't you all just tear off the dolls heads and mail them to your CEO (via compagny mail). You could even mail them to his home address if you can get a hold of it. See how that will ruin his X-mas.
...A
And so forth...
I never apologise, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am - Homer
in Belgium most people get a "thirteenth mont" Usually at the end of december you get your salary paid twice. But our governement taxes the hell out of it. Only a rough 40 percent remains.
So we also have to bend over; only it's for politicans. That's worse, no ?
but then I also don't have to worry too much about being laid off, bought out, investigated by the government, stock market going to hell.... I have always found the idea of a Christmas bonus kind of silly -- to expect the company you work give you something for Christmas.. it's a job for crying out loud..
...we are from the government - we are here to help...
I get a 10% off of one item coupon!!
"And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol(TM)?!?"
What? - don't you have a right for christmas bonus? We get every summer and christmas a double loan. So, we get 14 months pay per year. How is that in the USA? Do you get 14 months pay and an extra x-mas bonus or do you get 12 months wage?
greets from EU
Did your bobblehead come with a baseball card? On a side note, that's pretty freakin' vain of somebody. The last MS bobblehead I got, I torched, maimed and otherwise sculpted into an abusive figure of pain and suffering. Leave THAT message in your bosses parking spot.
You need a FREE iPod Nano
Last year my Christmas bonus was $11,000. I paid off my credit cards and bought a TiBook.
This year, I'm a lowly contractor and if I'm lucky they'll renew my contract in January.
Last year I was working for the spawn of Satan, and had been actively looking for something, anything to get me out of that hell hole for months.
This year, I'm doing interesting work in a less stressful and less fucked-up environment.
You can keep the $11,000.
The next Cmdr Taco duplicate will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
Last Year: Layed
This Year: Layed Off
Next Year: Copy of Windows XP???
Jeremy Logan's Website.
When I was an employee, 4000 of us used to work in one shoebox in the middle of the road. We used to get up, eat a handful of FREEZING COLD grits, then get to work half an hour before we left the previous day. We worked 90 hours a day, and had to pay the company for the privelege. Then at christmas, our CEO would slice us in two with a breadknife. IF WE WERE LUCKY!! You people don't know were born!
Sorry. I know how you feel, but some of the comments people have made were asking for that. Oddly enough, my bonus-cancelling CEO looks exactly like Captain Kirk, so I guess he wouldn't even need to get specially made bobbleheads.
don't bitch about a doll.. me and 70 other coworkers got a pink slip!
well i guess i got more time to spend with family on holidays.
...some 4 years ago the company found out that it would be a really good idea to scrap the anual grocery basket and replace it with company stock options. That is, each person would recieve one stock and thereby a small part of the company.
.. the gift is still the same though: "one stock option" .. oh, and it's bound for 7 years .. TODAY, 1$ is about 7.5 DKR ..
:-) /klang
At the time one of theese babies would run you about 550 DKR's on "the street", today it's about 175 DKR
Maybe this would be a good idea for the kids? Here you go, your present this year will be a small part of something you can get your hands on, 7 years after you move out of the house!
Yeep - screw christmas bonuses, screw bonuses. I have never been a fan of company wide bonuses. It's stupid - I don't see why John Thicky should get a bonus when I did most of his work. Bonuses are for those that have done good work.
However, I have noticed a few things that make working life _pleasurable_ and _fun_. Bosses listen up!
1 - Staff will get VERY resentful if they get no pay rises or very small pay rises but the boss gets 25%. You are all in the same boat bosses and staff alike. Bosses need to realise this and act more like staff (instead of god!)
2 - Geeks like stuff - DON'T THROW OUT OLD COMPUTERS! Give them to schools if you want but always let your engineers rake of the bones of old hardware and take what they want. They love it and you don't even want it!
3 - Let your geeks experiment with their code. People like the chance to experiment a little.
4 - Listen to your geeks BUT GIVE THEM CREDIT. I quit one job after a few months when I discovered that the _entire_ place was based on "company politics". I would say something to my manager (hell I even typed him a report) only to discover that he had basically just changed the name on the report and no-one knew I had anything to do with it. AVOID THIS! If this happens - QUIT. You will be incredibly miserable otherwise!
5 - Don't pay out bonuses just to make your staff stay. Think before you spend! Perhaps spending all that bonus cash on new equipment or the office environment will cheer you staff up just as much as a coupla hundred quid.
The best bonus experience I ever had was at Pi Research in Cambridge. I was only 19 (2nd year there) and I had been working on some high resolution print routines. I got it finished and working (thanks to a little help) WELL ahead of time. The next day I went to work and was asked to see the MD. Well... I shit a brick! I reall thought I done or said something wrong! Anyhoo.... The MD asked me about my work, the quality of it, did I imagine there were still bugs etc.... then I got a very nice "thank you" and a "keep up the good work" type thing and a bonus cheque! I can't remember how much and it wasn't huge but the idea was there. They had been watching and decided it was time to place credit where credit was due. A very satisfying sensation I assure you.
"None of this shit works" -W.Shatner
YOU give the BOSS a bonus!
Either your CEO had absolutely no knowledge and input on this decision -- or your CEO needs serious therapy.
I got to go to a Christmas party we all were required to kick in to fund (nevermind that I'm athiest) and next week I get a frozen turkey. (better than nothing, though)
You don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all...scratchy! - The Tick
I work at a Catholic hospital, so that whole "vow of poverty" thing doesn't just apply to the clergy.
I did get a blanket from the nuns for giving blood this year, though. And we'll probably get a certificate for a free turkey again. I don't have a big family locally, so I just get the bird and anonymously give it to somebody less fortunate in my church.
Show your displeasure -- make the bobble-head doll into a VOODOO bobble-head doll. Place it prominantly on your monitor for all your coworkers to see and admire.
Also makes a great parting gift, for when you're walked out the door for making veiled threats to the CEO.
YMMV.
..where I work now. When I worked at BMC Software, they gave everyone coupons for a free Honeybaked ham every Thanksgiving and you got a $500 bonus on your Dec 15th paycheck.
The only thing I've got where I'm at now is my company is closed when the NYSE is closed. That means I get Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off with pay. Big whoopdie-do. Its not like we'd be doing anything if we were at the office anyway...
*sigh*
Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
All I know is I work my ass off contracted to 6 Different public school systems by a business of about 10 - 15 people. I was invited over to the boss's/owner's $350k house to eat a $300 piece of tenderloin and we all got about 1/4 the bonus we have the past 4 years. I don't know if this is right or wrong, but there's definately something strange with this math.
We got a gift voucher for a turkey, and a little chocolate coin. The card stated that the CEO gave employees a $25 gold coin back in the early days (1920's. Do the math for inflation, not bad eh?) We also get completely slammed on a nightly basis by people's packages, starting the day after Thanksgiving and ending a few days after christmas.
I personally got a couple special gifts. One was a notification that they wouldn't pay my rent stipend of $100 for next month, and the other was a nice back injury. Yay for me.
UPS gets several billion in profit, and lots of cheap labor. Send your packaged FedEx, people. If you happen to be sending it 1 day air to Washington or New Jersey, I might be handling it. That's a very bad thing for your package, I assure you...well, unless you mark it with something I recognize.
The kicker? I don't even like turkey. Man, I need a new job.
Fill in your four or five-letter word of wisdom here _ _ _ _ _.
Went to website... bought self 120 GB FW HD... happy with gift. Still would like something. No bonus, no raise, no holiday party, yet profits are up. Still, at least I'm finally getting paid somewhat close to market average.
this year i was lucky. i got nothing.
last year i wasn't so lucky. i got a ten percent paycut.
i'm lucky i have a job. i'm told i may even be working christmas day!
We use your products (against my advice), and they suck.
My guess is they let go the competent ones go. And they ended up with the incompetents who programmed the mess that we paid $1M for.
Ho ho ho. The joke's on both of us.
I got a weeks worth of pay as a bonus (Dumb smiley here)
No, he means shorting the stock at a price where the option is in-the-money; then exercising the call to cover the short.
In the circumstances (can't exercise the option immediately) it makes sense since he gets the selling price he wants to profit from the option (assuming he CAN short it).
And I don't have to come in to work on Thursday, or in fact ever again! Plus I've been "released from my contract" along with everyone else in my office. Wow!
Ah, Christmas, when the goose gets fat and the corporations get lean. The best bit is that being made redundant before yule is being presented as a positive thing, because at least we knew before we went into a consumer frenzy. That's a pretty thin silver lining.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
That's what happens when you work for a fucking jew, stay away from those assholes, or better rip them off!
It's written in the Torah it's OK to steal from non-jews, so I consider OK to steal them too. Now what do you think ?
My employer continues to grow profits in this economy, and refuses to 1) cut pay or 2) skimp on the holiday celebrations. I received both my bonus and my profit sharing check, all the usual prizes were given out, and we enjoyed the typical big-name entertainment. Sure, I make a little less on my base salary than a West Coast developer, and telling people you work for a food service company has less nerd appeal. On the other hand, those negligible points aren't worth giving up my dignity/soul.
My wife makes single-digit-per-hour working for someone with a very high level of involvement with his workers. For Christmas, she got $150, plus breakfast with her co-workers.
... cost me more.
I make a nice salary working for a very small web company. But for Christmas, we're doing a potluck lunch. If this year is like last, I'll get a $50 gift certificate.
Oh, and my salary is the same this Christmas as last, but my benefits
Look at it this way, at least you can smack the bobble-head boss doll around and come up with all kinds of ways to torture it! ;-)
If you've never been modded as "flamebait" or "troll," you've never tried to argue a minority viewpoint here!
Personally, I think it's darn nice they gave you something to decorate your urinal^h^h^h^h^h cubicle with.
Envy my 5 digit Slashdot User ID!
In Soviet Russia, CEO gets bobble-head doll of YOU.
Sorry, the Soviet Russia jokes kill me. I still laugh at the "your mama" stuff...
LR
I run a small (10) person ISP and we pay xmas bonuses every year. Not only that but the techs and others who put in the long hours get gifts like 32" TVs and DVD burners in addition to cash. ;)
Depending on how hard someone worked and how long they have been here some guys got over $5k last year. This year we had a sucky year and tons of legal bills ate up most of our profit so bonuses will be MUCH smaller but it never hurts to give $$$ and presents to the people who work with you day in and day out to show them you appreciate their hard work. And dont give out crap like dolls - invest some of your time to find out what the person really likes and go out of your way to get it for them - that really shows you appreciate them!
Hey at least they gave you a free voodoo doll of your object of anger
Not directly from my company, but from one I used to work with most days as part of my previous position; a rather nifty Cross ION Pen. Arrived in the post this morning, and actually worked straight out of the box (i.e. no endless scribbling across nine pads of A4 before the ink decides to flow). Also has a smart keyring attachment that clips over the nib, so it's now taken pride of place on my house keys (finally replacing my very old - and quite knackered - micro Swiss Army knife).
We got a dinner with open bar at Smith & Wollensky's, and everyone got a room at the Hilton. Some companies are still doing ok, and more importantly, willing to share the wealth with their employees.
Karma: Professionally Doomed (mostly affected by inability to keep opinions to self)
Where I used to work, for 6 years, we got a bony, road-kill ham. Here we get a fruit basket. Nice change, but how many ways are there to make grapefruit palatable?
So, the company bought everyone dinner and you're complaining about it? Throw the freakin' bobble head doll away it you want.
"We shall party like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean." - HedonismBot
Oh I feel so bad for you, you whiny crybaby little fucking brat. Boo hoo, all I get is this stupid thing....AND A FUCKING PAYCHECK EVERY WEEK. If you're even remotely involved in a so-called geek profession, you don't even work 10 hours out of the week and get paid for the whole deal. Don't come here and get the floor all wet with your sobbing, be thankful you even have a job where you can post to this piss poor excuse for a website several times a day you ignorant, know nothing, whining, crybaby, RMS-asshole-buddy jerkoff.
Wow.
I feel bad for you. I don't even know what our products did. I just know they paid me to browse the web all day, and burn my MP3s at work. I think I was also the official pizza orderer for a while.
- A.P.
"Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
I got a pair of 15 min phone cards. These are of great use to me as I have a cell phone with plenty of anytime min and unlimited nights/ weekends and free long distance. I suppose I could wrap them and give them to family members, but only 15 min?? If they got them for $0.05/min, and that is probably on the high side, then they spent a whole buck and a half on me. Damn, I feel important now.
"A coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one."
I make some extra money on the side selling gift albums to various businesses. One customer I have is the administrator of a nursing home, and she bought $10,000 of gift albums from me to give to her 200+employees (many of them nurses). The order itself was a nice Christmas gift, because the commission paid for my airline ticket to go visit my girlfriend for the New Year, and left plenty to spend on her.
public intox and 12 hours in jail.
> What did you get from your Company for Christmas?
Nothing. But it's OK; I didn't get them anything either.
Chris Mattern
Our bonuses got cut in half(ish), but I also got a nice set of penguin beer steins. Atleast I know they still care. :)
Yes, I could expect more, but I am greatful that I am employed!
My mom always said, "Jim, you're 1 in a million." Given the current population, there are 7000 of me. God help us all!
I can summarize this by saying that if gratitude was in the shape of a hotdog, my ass would be sore. Even if I could opt for a cash equivalent in lieu of the gift I received from my employer, I'd still come out on the shit-end of the deal. What the hell, guys. Should we expect it to be any different than any of the other 364 days in the year?? We're just being bent over yet another day, so grab your ankles and smile. In the words of Mr.Clark W. Griswold: "...I'd like my boss, *insert your bosses name* right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head I wanna look him straight in the eye, and I wanna tell him what a cheap, lying, no good rotten 4-flushing low-life snake-licking dirt-eating inbred overstuffed ignorant blood-sucking dog-kissing brainless dickless hopeless fat-assed bug-eyed stiff-legged spider-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Halleluiah, holy shit! Where's the tylenol??"
New York City. Chelsea Peers. Ice skating was to become our company's christmas party event. Ok, I guess that's better then no party at all, but hold on a second, something went wrong. Am I surprised? Of course not, but what did surprise me that the "Christmas on ice" was moved to January. Well, that's the latest news so far, it might be canceled all together. And as for bonuses, `keeping your job and no pay cuts` is our bonus this year.
The gods will probably smite me for bragging, but my company gave me a bonus that's 1/3 of my salary (the bonus is based, equal parts, on personal performance and company profitability), plus some pens engraved with my initials.
It's nice to work for a company that rewards its employees for their hard work. I consider myself phreakin' lucky.
Needless to say, it's a private company.
Simple Unexpected Concrete Credible Emotional Stories
To all the whiners who are bitching about
not making enough money or not having a
job.
Quit being a victim.
If you are not as good as you think you are,
perhaps you need to update your skills. Were
you some slackass with an associates degree who
went and got "certified" during the boom? It's
over buddy, and you'll be lucky to find a job
at all given your skill set.
Update your skills, hunt hard, and move if you
have to. "But there are no jobs where I live" -
Then you are choosing your location at the expense
of a job. Set your priorities and then make
something happen.
And to those of you who can't buy toilet paper
because you have to pay for day-care -
Re-evaluate your priorities - How about you stay
home with the kid and send your wife to work, and
then don't buy the new cars that you think you
"have to have" - Everyone I know who is in a
tight spot finance wise chose to put themself
there... New car, house bigger than they need, etc.
Amen. The world is hardly underpopulated.
A child these days is a luxury not unlike the big car, the house or those 20 lattes. Accept it.
You already have it cushy with child benefits etc. I don't seem to see any government handing me innurmerable amounts each week in "xbox benefits".
To assume that piracy is the only good use for MP3 players is ridiculous. That's the sort of FUD that makes people think the position held by these digital rights zealots is actually tenable.
<flamebait>
I suppose you also think that the majority of all recordable media contains pirated music / software / movies?
</flamebait>
Our company doesn't have a christmas party, if this year is like last year, we'll have a pot luck lunch (where we only get 30 minutes off for lunch).. and maybe 3 or 4 of us will go out for supper somewhere... other than that, I rely on my friend's company parties for my Christmas enjoyment!
...last year, for "employee appreciation week", we received a "special gift" from executive management. The gift consisted of:
- A plastic company-logoed beer cup. Not a stadium cup, but one of those disposable ones.
- A bookmark with the words to "God Bless America" printed on it.
- One (1) bag of Act II microwave vending machine popcorn, still in the plastic wrapper.
"Settle down, Beavis. We've got an experiment to do."
Bobble Head Doll Porn.
Distribute widely. Your CEO will be impressed.
...of this topic? To whine and bitch?
I received 10% of my annual salary, split over two paychecks in December.
Please don't kill me.
Doug
Last year a cooler (with two wheels and a pull handle). Year before that was an emergency road kit (reflectors, a pneumatic pump, etc.). Year before that was a travel luggage set (some of it was good, some okay). All with our company logo on them, sometimes with it modled into the plastic (e.g. the cooler).
-- Argel
We dont get a bonus, but we do get 2 weeks of paid vacation, and dont really do any real work from thanksgiving break till classes start again in late january.
I had a nice dinner with my girlfriend and got a piece off ass afterwards. You should quit crying and be happy to have a job. Companies are not required to give you a Christmas bonus. Our bonuses are base on merit, so you have to earn them by going above and beyond.
I got 4.5% of my income this year.
I'm not complaining...
We're a large chartered bank.
Last year and the year before were 6% and 7.5% respectively.
I'm happy to get anything at all.
'I don't want more choices. I just want better things.' - Edina Monsoon
... the Xerox gets drunk and sits on YOU.
My sig's name is Sigmund, but you may call it "Siggy."
Come on... everyone knows that Minn Kota makes the best trolling motors. You can get all kinds of helpful info on their site.
Their company is synonymous with "trolling motor", and I challenge you to find a company that makes better trolling motors.
foe me, freak me.
The previous reply is wrong. The poster is correct -- a short sale will effectively "lock in" the profits that you will realize on exercising your options. This is true for upside as well as downside risk, BTW, as you also forego potential profits should the stock go up further in value.
It's worth noting that there are quite a number of circumstances in which a short sale by an employee is not permitted (e.g. if you are an "officer" of the company). Check before doing this!
Salaried people do -not- work overtime, as salaried people have no definition of "overtime". They are salaried for a reason.
Hourly people, otoh, work overtime. Just a little clarity as I often hear salaried so-and-so complaining about all the OT he works. You never recieve OT pay in your paycheck, therefore you are no an employee capable of working "overtime", and "I worked XXX hundred hours of OT" should not be used as an argument. The thought being, if you are salaried, you should be compensated more week-to-week based on 40/32/whatever hours, versus somebody who works by the hour and is capable of working an 80 hour week and getting paid for 100 hours... and so on.
Products? You had Products?
Wow, that must put you in the top 1% of all the dotcoms then!
-- You ain't seen me, right?
Last year I was working for a rather large ISP and was let go and rehired 4 times for my chrismas bonus. A semi-stable job is worth more than any "bonus"...just be happy you are employed . As far as the bobble head doll it was distasteful but remember for the moment you are employed.
"Job security is a myth, especialy in the IT community"
I received a bobble-head of our chief investment strategist a year back. I don't have a picture but I do have a link to the guy and the commentary of Dr. Bob Froehlich. Maybe it's the new trend in corporate ego.
I got 5 days paid holiday vacation (7 if you count Xmas and New Years).
Since I work from remote, I don't get to go to any of the parties
Since I don't celebrate Xmas, it seems like a decent enough deal to me. A bonus would be nice, but if the company isn't paying any of our incentive bonuses (or at least not much of them) due to the economy, I'm not expecting it. I've 10x the amount in incentive bonuses than I would ever expect in my greediest holiday bonus dreams.
My wife's company had an Xmas party where they paid for 1 free drink, had lots of great munchies and gave us all a chance to view the Denver aquarium ("Ocean View") without a bunch of other people around. It was nice, sure, but given a choice of that or having the week off (which she doesn't get, making travel for the season unlikely), I'll -definitely- take the bonus I got.
It is more productive to voice thoughtful opinions (reply) than to judge (moderate) others.
For x-mas my company granted me the exclusion from the 10%.
The 10% of the work force being laid off that is.
heh
Trust me...never work IT at an insurance company. Instead of being the savior of most of their asses, you're just the guy who makes the programs work when the user does something retarded. Very little appreciation. But back to the bonuses. Two years ago, when I first started, everyone got a $100 bill from the VP. Except me...since I hadn't been working there for 6 months yet, I only got $50. Understandable, but still a little hard to swollow after seeing everyone else with $100s. Last year..."due to the unfortunate events of Sept. 11, yada yada yada." Not to take anything away from that day, but still a lame excuse. They didn't even bother telling us until Dec. 24. Merry Freakin Christmas. This year, so far all we've gotten is free movie passes. I really don't expect much else, but it's really starting to piss off the people how have been here for a while.
$20. Yes, an envelope with a $20 bill in it.
This year, I'm not expecting a bonus. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised (but "pleasant" would not be another $20 bill).
A bonus is a special reward -- an employee did something really exceptional and their employer wanted to show their appreciation.
Yeah, right. The last company I worked for that had institutionalized a bonus negotiated salary AND BONUS. Talk about trickle down economics, since the managers determined who got what section by section.
A bonus is a special reward -- an employee did something really exceptional and their employer wanted to show their appreciation
Oh suck me. Are you really so blind that you still believe a company, ANY company, has anything in mind except squeezing your soul into powder? Depending on the circumstances a bonus can and should be expected. I USED to be a fucking conservative bastard until I realized how much the mutiplier of CEO and exec salaries went up (what is it now, 450 times what an employee makes?). And when something goes wrong it turns out they actually have no real control or influence on what happens at the company (i.e., Enron, Worldcom, aDelphia). Now I am pissed - fsck 'em I want my bonus.
Actually, our Congresscritters HAVE, in a very limited sense, figured this out: they screw EVERYONE except their personal revenue generators (read: their major campaign contributors). Of course, most of us would prefer their self-interest to be a bit more enlightened and their definition of "self" here to include the people they allegedly serve, but that's the trouble with our political system at present...
"My strength is as the strength of ten men, for I am wired to the eyeballs on espresso."
So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?
Fired.
We recieved.. uh.. well... we were permitted to use company premises to hold a pot-luck dinner, along with two days that we were told not to come to work but are not being paid for!!! Joy!
slashdot shenanigans
My company has 25 employees, and we just got a cash injection of a few mil. Still, no bonus. not even $100. Would it kill them to free up $2500 just to make everyone really really happy?
Okay, let me make that more clear. The bonus was the equivalent of his salary, ON TOP OF HIS SALARY.
It totally floored me. I mean, I don't make all that much, but a bonus of my salary would be awesome. And this guy was making BIG dollars. Amazing.
Give it to your cat/other pet to play with (under supervision, of course). At least, I'd be tempted to do that, except for the small parts that may be involved.
Re-paint it and use it as a hamster-cage decoration.
Tony Jeffries
Same here. We've had modest department gatherings, but pay for it ourselfs.
My company wanted to do a christmast gift box to all six of our president-employees, but then we realized we had no income whatsoever yet. We decided just to wish each other a merry christmas instead.
"We can confirm that Debian does *not* ship the version with the trojan horse. Our version predates it." [CA-2002-28]
.... but I've still yet to see it.
The thing is, it wouldn't cost him anything, as the company I'm working in, sells computers.
Anyway, I just joined the communist-party here in Norway. I want all companies to cease to exist.
Working for the people, for a common goal, is a zillion times better than working for your boss, in order to increase his profits.
http://w3.access.gpo.gov/usbudget/fy2001/guide02.h tml
w aldesign.com/budget/p a/A0873746.html
Checkout the piechart towards the bottom. In the 2001 federal budget, the US spent 19% on health care, 23% on social security, 6% on various entitlements (Vetern's benefits etc) 11% on interest and only 16% on defense.
Granted that 23% for social security can't be used for other means, but the US spends far more on benefits than they do on the military.
Additonally, 342 billion was spent on health care versus 279billion on the military in 2001.
here are some other siteshttp://www.federalbudget.com/
http://www.ko
http://www.infoplease.com/i
or you can read the federal budget at www.cbo.gov
Bring back the old version of slashdot.
Same thing I got last year. As much office supplies as I can carry out of the building without getting caught by an employee who wants to split it with me in exchange for silence.
The second part is department specific. At the end of each year we put together a list of "above and beyond" projects that we would like to do but aren't part of the regular job description. These are weighted and scored and if we get over a certain score we get the other half of our bonus.
We also get a company "banquet" with a no-host bar, buffet style, so that's a nice perk too.
Well, there's also a coupon for a box of chocolate thrown into that.
Of course, we did have a few layoffs recently, mostly in our conservation area (grr, that's important dammit) but I believe even they get percentages of the bonus.
"Shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased. Thus we refute entropy" - Spider Robinson
Do you guys think that the CEO really wants hundreds (thousands?) of plastic copies of himself distributed under the employees?
How about: VP: "Shall we get a christmas gift for the employees?" CEO: "Yeah, you think of something". Then imagine the embarrisment on the face of the CEO when he finds out that all employees will have a plastic copy of himself.
REW.
And you were caught off guard by the layoffs?
Si vis pacem, para bellum
The only thing more annoying than a Libertarian is an (un|mis)informed Libertarian
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Sure, it's not so much this particular case or you, but the whole trend of treating people who have purchasing power specially came from somewhere -- it's because it's cheaper to bias the person with purchasing power to buy a product (we get to keep having the salmon lunches?) than to cut the prices on the products.
I mean, they do stuff like this for a reason -- it's profitable for them.
The worst cases of monentary allocation come in those few cases when a company can disalign an employee's interests from those strict interests of the company. One of these ways is by pampering the person making buying decisions.
Another way -- take the "no one ever got fired for buying Microsoft" line. (Obviously, this applies to lots more instances than MS, but this one hits close to home for me) If there's a cheaper, better alternative out there, it might be a good idea for the company to look into. It might be the best thing out there. But the manager's interests have become disaligned from those of the company, because he could potentially be on the chopping block if something goes wrong *and* he's doing something from the rest of the pack. If some crucial vendor two years later says "we don't support Mac OS" or Linux, or HPUX or whatever, he's going to be the scapegoat. OTOH, if he just does what everyone else is doing, regardless of whether it's what's best for his company, he's doing a much better job of maintaining his own job security.
I believe besides perks and job security issues are the biggest ways vendors can go after people with purchasing authority, but there are probably others.
Now, you may not have been influenced, but there are definitely people who *are* being influenced by this sort of thing. And that's what I hate. The whole concept of wining and dining a business partner is a small-scale form of this, but it's as accepted a form of bribery in business as "campaign contributions" are in politics.
Whenever people are making sub-optimal decisions locally on a massive scale, society as a whole suffers. I pay more for things.
May we never see th
ALL bonuses are bad news, for exactly the same reason. It is popular to tie company performance with bonuses, but in bad times like these the employees are called on to do even more to help the company, then when the product doesn't sell as well as hoped, instead of being rewarded for their hard work, they get a lump of coal. "Sorry, no bonus after all!"
Another bad one. "Employee of the week/month/year" awards and bonuses. You give one guy a prize and you guarantee that you piss off everyone else. Next time no one tries because they know they'll just lose whether they work hard or not.
The best way to avoid smashing someone's expectations is not not give them phoney expectations to begin with. Pay a good salary, have a good work environment, good non-"bonus" benefits and you'll have happy loyal employees.
Contrary to popular belief, coding is not all free blow-jobs and beer. Those things cost MONEY!
We got these funky little desk clocks with the company logo, you know, the kind you can buy at the $1 store. I guess now I can manage my time better. Or better yet, know when to go to lunch or that I have been working for 15 hours. Oh wait, this was probably not the right gift to give us. We might actually pay attention to time and not spend so much of it at the office ;)
A thanksgiving turkey. Yeah, it's not cash--but it fed the family for a week!
A bobble-head of your $65-million boss? Are you serious? I HAVE heard it all now; I can rest assured! It is pathetic how, even in the current economy, that we pay our execs more money than they deserve or know what to do with, but we are unwilling to give employees minimal raises and at least a hundred buck bonus for the Holidays (and as end-of-the-year recognition). I went to my wife's holiday party this past Friday and it is amazing that my scotch-and-whiskey breathe didn't remark (out loud) the stupidity and thougthlessness of her bosses. The business is comprised of my wife doing all the office work, her boss running the show, one web guy and a slew of investors who bring in vendors thru connections. I had joked to my wife before the party that she would get the "1st annual employee of the year" award, as she is the first and only regular employee there. Instead, at the party, neither boss who gave a toast even gave a word or glance to my wife's hard work. And my wife admitted to me the following day that she was upset about it. Add to this that all the "investors" got thousands-dollars bonuses and she didn't get a penny extra, even when her boss knows that my wife and I are having more trouble than ever catching up on the bills. What an ass! Great, now I'm more fired up after typing this!!! I won't even get into her boss' pathetic business plan (which he was TRYING to impress me with) and the fact that he called the webguy their CTO when even I could program circles around his lazy ass (that I actually did blurt out a comment about ... dope!!!). EEERRRRRR!!!!
Well, my boss just went out and bought himself a house. No mansion by any means, just an ordinary place in a quiet neighborhood. Yup, I've seen it.
Since ours is a small company (I'm the only full-time employee), I'm really not expecting much of a Christmas bonus this year.
Ah, well, it's worth it, knowing his kids won't be playing next to a busy highway anymore. That's had me worried.
I think he has no clue what a bobble-head doll is, thanks be to God!
Give me my freedom, and I'll take care of my own security, thank you.
...was a layoff notice.
At least the severance was nice.
So, anyone looking for an embedded linux/vxworks guy in San Diego?
http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/
I know it's not cool what your company's doing, but here's a counter-example - from a 'small American business', the very (supposed) backbone of the American people! (*cough*politicalbullshit*cough*)
I know someone that runs a company. Not only does he own it, but he's also the manager, project scheduler, whatever - you name it. If it has to do with organizational work, it's his responsibility. He has a handful of employees - it tends to vary seasonally due to the availability of work (damned economy). Just the same, the people he employs would be either out of work, or working somewhere paying them significantly less. I know this to be the case, because most of these employees are sufficiently incompetent.
Now, mind, they're not that different than most people, albiet some are fairly poor at their job - they just don't put any effort into their work, and basically piss about. Being as it's a small company, they're expected to pull their weight: if they're hired to do X job function, they damned well perform that job function - at least to the extend where they're an asset, not a liability.
But that isn't the case in this situation. They don't put any effort into the job. My friend can't fire them, because he needs them on his staff, and he'd never be able to get someone to replace them out here, and the employees knows this. Thus, most of them slack off and basically see it as job security, despite the hellish economy here. (NO matter how bad it is in your part of the country, I promise you, it's worse here.)
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
A step up from last year. In addition to the Hersheys, this email:
Sent: Monday, December 16, 2002 10:13 AM
Subject: Happy Holidays
> Team,
>
> On your chair, you will find a bag of holiday chocalates. It is a small
> token of appreciation from your management team for your efforts.
>
> Have a happy holiday season,
>
> -XXXXXX
>
> --
> XXXXXX, Sr. Manager
Take Heart!! You may have gotten a crappy bonus bobble head, but it worked out well for me... My new favorite hobby, well, obsession, is Office Politics...interactive pseudo office game where we all make alliances and backstab each other to get ahead to win BEER. And today's meeting topic...YOUR BOBBLE HEAD! check it out http://www.office-politics.com
Not at all. And I had a better-paying job in 2 weeks. My 5 weeks' severance pay hadn't even run out.
- A.P.
"Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
hey michael you want to trade your bobble head boss doll for my bottle of martinelli sparkling cider? with the 99 cent store 2 for $1.00 sticker still on it??? yes, my CEO got a 10 million dollar ONE year signing bonus oh yeah ain't it great????
We were supposed to have a dinner, but it's been flooding here in the Bay Area so a couple of us wouldn't of been able to make it. :-)>
Truthfully I think it was having his wife call and sy it took half an hour to go one exit on 680.
So dinner got rescheduled for after the first... (YEAH RIGHT)
Gotta love working for small companies... at times.
Patrick Havens (Mr. 573333 to you.) Graphic Artist / Coder / Father / Journeler
That's exactly what I meant. I'm not talking about playing the market at all.
Furthermore, exercising an option is not, of course, insider trading.. it's not trading. You are free to exercise whenever you want (as permitted by your grant)
But when 99% of people talk about exercising options, they mean exercising them and selling the resulting stock.. and selling stock based on insider information is insider trading.
First, I'm not talking about shorting a stock in order to profit from a drop in value. I'm talking about shorting a stock and then covering the short immediately by exercising options.
This locks in the market value you will be taxed on at the time YOU want to do the trade, and you don't ahve to wait for your options to clear.
If you are claiming to have some kind of special knowledge about options due to your job, you should know this.
Your other alternative is to start to exercise, perhaps wait several days for the company to get it's shit together, then sell. Furthermore, the time between your receiving the shares and the time you sell them is a risk if the value drops, as you will still be taxed on the market value when you exercised.
Secondly, exercising options has nothign to do with insider trading.. but SELLING the resulting shares absolutely does...
Thirdly, even if regulations don't allow you to short stock, you can probably do so to exercise options, as long as the public sees this. There are methods for doing so. This way, panic is avoided, as everyone can see you are really exercising options.
Thirdly, I'm speaking for Canadian tax law, which varies slightly. You are saying there are many types of stock options, some which have exemptions.
Obviously anyone who has stock options should get professional advice from brokers AND tax people. Anyone who doesn't is asking for it.
Before you insinuate I should read up on short selling, perhaps you should read posts a little harder before you start slamming.
Dear CEO, who is going to buy your indispensable products once you and your ilk achieve that holly Grial of full automatization without any employees?
In case you are serious (and being an AC I doubt it) your mentallity shows what is wrong with modern entrepreneurs: they understand shit about their social role and rsponsibilities. And we allow people like you to buy our politicians.
Scary, enjoy the ride, I assure you it will not last forever.
IANAL but write like a drunk one.
To sell something does not mean that you are making a profit (did not you learn something during the last couple of years?).
IANAL but write like a drunk one.