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Hahah. I know someone's going to post to say that "1999 called, and they want their troll back." But man, that shit still cracks me up. But I'm old.

Original reference for the kids who don't get it. Though not commonly mentioned in lists of slashdot trolls, many variants have appeared here. I leave it as an exercise for the reader to locate.

Actually that would be totally sweet, especially when they flip out and kill people!

that should have been NINJAS! something about clod here...

it didn't take too much for him to 'flip' and 'kill the punks' ;)

If a ninja is too much for your budget or risk level, you could consider one of the other wannabe Real Ultimate Powers.

I've always used various websites for reference material when writing papers, but I won't do it anymore. I just got an F on my paper on ninjas.

I am SUPER pissed...

Make sure you've got a clean Frisbee handy

could this double as a laser pointer?

Probably, but it could be highly inaccurate depending on what it is you were pointing at.

Why not do as I and many others do, and use an ever-versatile lightsaber?

Lightsabers are cool, and by cool I mean totally sweet. Lightsabers cut people's heads off and don't even think twice about it.

Here's a story I wrote about this really cool lightsaber.

Little Johnny: Today I'll be talking about basketball. This is a basketball (points with lightsaber)
Lightsaber: (angrily) mweeeeeeeeeeee (chops off Tiny Tim's head)
Tiny Tim: (crying) Arrgh, me f**ing head.
Lightsaber: mweeeeeeeee!!!

Ever seen "KaraKuri Ninja Girl" ? Anime, sex and Real Ultimate Power :D...

Wow, talk about completely flipping out.

You must be a Ninja

Stuart

Come on, the only honorable way to commit suicide is good old fashioned seppuku.
Or you could try frisbee seppuku. http://www.realultimatepower.net/

woah... yes... what he was saying..

I was uhmm... talking about how the swashbuckling pirates use newsgroups to share maps and sea charts... yes

the problem is that the ninjas are on to them...

Just look at what Google turns up as #1 for the (potentially legitimate) search 'ninja'. Getting #1 on Google's pagerank? Now that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!

i say google-watch.org is as credible a site as this one: www.realultimatepower.net - go ahead, click the link - its a hilarious site

Obviously, the EU hasn't discovered the real ultimate power yet...

And she's brilliant,and a risk taker. Need I say more?

No way, I'm too busy hanging out with ninjas to worry about pirates. Pullleeeeeze.

www.realultimatepower.net/

I dunno man, I saw this Archos thing and I almost kicked my mom in the face! That thing made me pop like fifty boners and wail on my guitar!

Gotta include the link.

If you don't get this joke, you haven't been here.

There is only one solution. I suggest some good old-fashionedSeppuku There's nothing like swallowing a buttered-up frizby after getting really super pissed.

What are you saying, at day's end, do the NSA or I get real ultimate power over my kernel? ;)

Except that their competitors make such bonehead choices when it comes to hardware. Witness: The horrifying N64-on-steroids PS2, the chopped down PC that limits you to coding in DirectX X-Box... er, well, don't have anything bad to say about the Dreamcast other than too-little, too-early...

Look at the released specs on the next X-Box, it's essentially GameCube V1.5 hardware wise... While Sony is off creating some new Real Ultimate Power CPU that you'll probably have to program in Sanskrit...

Wow, Bill G didnt look amused. In an unrealted news report after the interview these guys gave David Bradley a visit.

and by cool you mean TOTALLY SWEET!

YEAH!

They actually flip out and kill pirates

I'd be careful about trying to tax ninjas... Ninjas can kick ass and they're sweet!

Consult my sources if you disagree. Ninjas > Pirates

Ninjas are sweet!

Ninja arts is the true application of Real Ultimate Power)!

:)

Dude! Vikings == pirates! Ninja > vikings/pirates.

NINJAS ARE TOTATALLY AWESOME! THEY EXIST TO FLIP OUT AND KILL PEOPLE!

Click here to learn more.

Not to be anal, just for posterity and to give credit where it's due: the original site.

Oh, please, you forgot to give the link!

Some people are so absent minded..

spending too much time in front of the PC will make you FLIP OUT and kill your PC?

Only if you are a ninja.

Not the same guy, but Real Ultimate Power is funny as hell.

WTF? This snake oil is on sourceforge? Your website reminds me a lot of this, but just not as cool (or funny). You know, another poster said it nicer, but I'm going to be blunt(er): nix the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING OUTSTANDING SUPERFRAGILISTIC carny huckster snake-oil salesman copy on that site, please. I couldn't stand it enough to see if you do bring TRUE AI TO THE DESKTOP or not. And now my eyes and head hurts.

It's probably because of over protective parents. It's amazing how obsessive some of them can get. Expecially the one that sued this dude.

when three ninjas jummped out from behind a rock and started freeking out.

Ninjas flip out, thank you so very much.

Sheesh, freaking out... where'd you read that? Ching Chong's guide to ninjas and codes and stuff?

That's because the purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

They are totally sweet !

Don't believe me ?

Yes, but does it have REAL ULTIMATE POWER?

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.

Facts:

1.Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Will your Ninjas have Real Ultimate Power?

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. Yes, I know its OT, but ninjas are awesome.

Brutha, NOTHING is cooler than ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Perhaps somebody dropped a spoon.

Ah, that page always cracks me up.

Real Ultimate Power?

Dude, ninjas rock. You diss them now, but when you hear the electric guitars start wailing in the distance, you'll take back your words (hint: a ninja is about to flip out, and you'll probably lose your head).

You think that has real ninja concealing powers? You ain't seen nothing yet!

SIMPLICITY. Google just seems to "get it". They took a simple idea and kept it simple, yet making it extremely powerful.

Put another way:

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Google?

A: Google is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, Google is very careful and precise.

There is nothing wrong with the servers we have now. This is just showing that normal gaming software (albeit a dedicated server) can run with no alterations on AMD's x86-64 platform.

Honestly if i have to hear another whine along the lines of "we don't NEED 64bits for game servers" i'll probably flip out