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Rule 1: Pillage, then burn.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow (with tribute to Schlock)

For a moment I thought that credit was being given to Howard Tayler, not Taylor Heyward.

He'll just have to settle for being known as the inventor of the Ominous Hum.

Obligatory webcomic link!

http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20000904.html

In the words of one of my favorite webcomics:

"No, then you'll really be terrorists." :P

Or you could go the other way with that; with fine enough control, you've got some interesting possibilities open to you.

Or you could go the other way with that; with fine enough control, you've got some interesting possibilities open to you.

Rule 37:
There is no overkill.
There is only 'Open fire'
and 'Time to reload'.

Yeah, I've heard that...

Live with rats? How ghetto is your "dealership"?

My understanding is that you can find rats almost anywhere; the population of rats in most urban areas is estimated to usually equal the human population. We don't really have ways to rat-proof the sewers and storm drains.

This is the most important part, but the next part is important too: KILL KILL KILL. Rats reproduce like crazy so killing the odd rat is not going to do it. Over-do it if you have to. How many bait stations does your exterminator put down? Tell him to put down ten times as many... better yet, hire a new exterminator. Bring out the heavy guns. Remember, nobody ever failed to eliminate a rat population by using too many traps and too much poison.

The Webcomic "Schlock Mercenary" has a fictional book titled "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates" in which one of the rules is:
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'time to reload.'

"Those not wearing body armor are advised to keep their arguments on-topic." -Schlock Mercenary.

That's where we employ rule 11.

Where's the ommminous hummmmm?

I couldn't find it in the archive because the search tool is down, but Schlock Mercenary by Howard Tayler once made the observation that great discoveries are less "Eureka!" and more "Hey, that's funny."

If it is not a significant change from Vista why not just patch Vista?

Oh right, cause this is all about marketing.

I'd swear that the Microsoft marketing department really took their Mojave experiment too seriously.

Was the difference between Windows 98 and Windows 98 Second Edition as major of a change as the difference between Vista and W7?

Why give a service pack for free when your customers will pay for it?

I find this highly relevant.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20070715.html
Kevyn: Okay, my sister wants to hire us to steal Xinchub's body and keep it out of the hands of the U.N.S. military. What could possibly be better than getting paid to desecrate the Fat Man's grave?
Captain Tagon: Getting paid twice to desecrate the Fat Man's grave.

NO! http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010225.html

Imitation Ovalkwik!

Glucose, fructose, corn syrup solids, concentrated cocoa-bean extract, assorted methylxanthine alkaloids (including caffeine, theobromine, and theophylline), sodium laureth sulfate, Minoxadyl, buckminster fullerene, codeine, hyper-ephedrine, nicotine, with BHA and BHT added to preserve freshness.

Neither of these is the case. I believe the word the author was looking for was "ununinstallable", meaning that it could not be uninstalled.

Actually, I believe the term you're looking for is anti anti-missile-missile missile

This one doesn't even leave a bruise.

Hah, beat me to it.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/

I'd say its more likely that the space junk detection bit will be more useful in the short term, since it'll need a whole lot more then this to stop another one like the Tunguska impactor.

Done. Next problem?

As stupid as the parent was being, this is actually kinda true. One of Novell's key locations is in Provo, Utah. Due to demographics alone, with about 61% of the population being Mormon, Novell most likely has a higher-than-average employ of Mormons. (Howard Tayler, of Schlock Mercenary fame, and a Mormon, used to work there)

I understand the reference, but I still can't help but be reminded of this strip, which is what made this lawyer into something similar.

If he's popular enough that his work alone could support him, then start a blog and throw a few ads on it. Come up with T-shirts or mugs or something. Perhaps best-of print collections. As far as books (as in novels), people are making a living posting their work online while selling print copies.

That's how online cartoonists do it. See Penny Arcade. Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary has been supporting a family for a few years now.

Note also that the correct term for 'a missile to be deployed against "anti-missile missiles"' is not "anti anti-missile missile." It's "anti anti-missile-missile missile." You're always supposed to have one more "missile" than "anti," because otherwise nothing will blow up. Granted, this information comes from civilian linguists, rather than from military sources. Military sources would almost certainly be using acronyms instead.

while you are quite correct the last panel of this comic
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20080406.html
has the one of the better versions of that quote.

This is definitely the time to direct everyone to the rant Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary fame wrote about BloodRayne:

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/index.php/2006/01/06/movie-review-bloodrayne/

Okay, let's start with my instructions to you: no matter how enticing I may make this film sound, do NOT spend money on it. Don't see it in the theater, and don't rent it. Buying the DVD would be a crime against humanity. For that matter, don't bother seeing it for FREE, either. Spending your TIME on this film is a crime against your employer, your family, and the Baby New Year. You would be better off using an hour and thirty-four minutes eating junk food and watching Weather Channel repeats you've accidentally TIVO'd.

Terje

they have the motivation to the same ends (I'm sure that they look admiringly, and possibly with envy, at the images of some poor burkha-clad woman having her brains scattered all over some stadium floor for whatever offense the mullahs accused her of.)

I like the solution that Schlock Mercenary [ http://www.schlockmercenary.com/ ] espouses for the litigious snakes.

(I'd like to see a YouTube video of somebody fuckin' one of their decapitated bodies in the neck.)

They own all noise on this planet...

The law enforcement growth industry.
http://deoxy.org/lawenfor.htm

"Let's just say that those who don't study history are doomed to get their butts kicked by the geeks who do."
        --Kevyn http://www.schlockmercenary.com/

And who would know history and how to rape the proletariat better than our two current parties?

The sounds of scientific discovery:
Eureka!
Huh. That's funny.
Oh, crap!

The sounds of scientific discovery:
Eureka!
Huh. That's funny.
Oh, crap!

The sounds of scientific discovery:
Eureka!
Huh. That's funny.
Oh, crap!

Rule #6 - If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20050313.html

I know virtually nothing about Mormons, but the US media often give me the impression of Mormons being highly conservative medieval puritans, married to lots of wives and lying about that. On the other hand, the handful of Mormons I meet online, like Howard Tayler, creator of the Schlock Mercenary webcomic, all tend to be intelligent, funny, and generally pretty enlightened.

My guess is that most Mormons are actually surprisingly similar to regular people.

Rule 37: There is no overkill, there is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".

Because running a wire up the remaining above knee leg, around the crotch, and back down the other remaining above knee leg would be a PITA. Running it directly would make for tripping over or break the wire every time you stepped over something, though there are some features that might be useful for a marine: http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20030511.html

Depends on how recent it is... If it's within the last two months, it could be that the person's a fan of Schlock Mercenary where
the Cake WAS a lie in the story arc still ongoing right at the moment... >;-)

PBF has been a favorite of mine for a while, now. Here's some others(wiki pages. Paper comic sites(read: syndicate sites) suck more often than not):

Zits
Get Fuzzy
Pearls Before Swine
Lio

Schlock Mercenary
Something Positive
Erfworld
Penny Arcade
Irregular Webcomic!
There's a few others, but that's most of them.

...seems to think this is good news. http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/index.php/2007/12/10/brandon-sanderson-tapped-to-finish-wheel-of-time/

That'd be good enough for me to give the last book a go...if I had read the rest of them. My tastes (mostly) mesh with his.

He also recommends giving a book called Elantris(by Sanderson) a read.

Rule 13: Do unto others.

Apparently when this article posted, http://www.schlockmercenary.com/ was slashdotted... or at least they think that's what the 8% jump in page views was.

Any website whose server handles enough daily traffic that a slashdotting is less than 10% of their daily page views passes any notability criteria I can think of.

Anonymous because I'm lazy

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/index.php/2007/10/30/wikiwatch-how-did-that-picture-get-there/

"Comments are closed".

I rest my case.

Rob, You talked about how XKCD and other comics are high up on your list of external websites to go to. Could I make the recomendation that you add them to the 'Funnies' slashbox? It seems to have been years since any links have been added (though maybe I'm the only one left who still uses it....) If you put your favorite webcomics onto it, I know I'd like to check out what you like. And if I can add my own $0.02 http://www.xkcd.com/, http://schlockmercenary.com/, and http://www.phdcomics.com/ are all 'geek' enough they would do well on the funnies slashbox.

you should check out http://www.schlockmercenary.com/ web-comic, the crew gets to kill lawyer drones of the partnership collective, gets paid even.

In the comic:
1. Yes
2. Their bosses(?)
3. Rewarded if under contract, punished otherwise. :)

Rule 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, no more, no less.

The more survivable version goes like: "Rule 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, no more, no less." http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20030929.html

Let your enemy's enemy use the other version.

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

If it was good enough for this guy, it should be good enough for you.

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