Slashdot Mirror

Well, if monkeys can write Shakespeare, surely a team of highly trained bobbing-head birds could do it...

% Homer finds the CPU and chops of the cover, and starts removing cards.

Don't take out my British charm unit! Without that, I'm nothing but a boorish American clod! [the unit is removed] Ah, thanks a lot, asswipe! [losing power] I coulda kicked your butt from here to Albuquerque, you fat ... slime ... bucket. -- Ultrahouse, "Treehouse of Horror XII"

Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, ``The Never-Ending Story''.

-The Simpsons
"The New Kid on the Block"
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/9F06.html

Treehouse of Horror XI, by the way.

...this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".

Episode: The New Kid on the Block

"Just hook it to my veins!"
-- Barney

Obj. Simpsons:

Homer:[] Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/AABF09

Maybe Steve should change his name...

=tkk

"This eclair is over one million calories. Twenty-five pounds of butter per square inch. Covered with chocolate so dark that light cannot escape its surface."

the French Chef states that his eclair contains One million calories. Rudimentary knowledge of nutrition sciences tells us that the most calorific substance is fat, at 9 calories per gram. Since there are approximately 28 grams in an ounce and 16 ounces in a pound, 1,000,000 divided by 9 divided by 28 divided by 16 tells us that the eclair, were it 100% fat, would weigh approximately 248 pounds. Assuming that it contains SOME non calorific matter and SOME less calorie dense carbohydrates, namely the sugar and flour that an eclair MUST contain, we can assume that the eclair weighs AT LEAST 300 pounds, which it clearly didn't, and, since eclairs are not particularly dense (in terms of sheer mass divided by volume), it would be at LEAST as large as a full grown human male. Is this supposed to be some sort of MAGICAL pastry?*

When someone buys 6meg DSL for $99/mth it will cost the ISP $450/mth to supply the 6meg to that DSL when needed. So for prices to be lowered overbooking is done. You know, like with dialup? Are we all forgetting that? To bring prices down for the residential customer a certain amount of overbooking HAS to be done.

More geekery:

Among Rich Hall's sniglets is "Decembuary", which is defined as the time in January when you continue to write the number of last year on checks.

And from Treehouse of Horror VI:

Marge: [voice over] It all started on the thirteenth hour, of the thirteenth day, of the thirteenth month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.
Homer: [shivering, looking at the calendar] Oh, lousy Smarch weather.
[spies the thermostat with a note from Willy over it]
[reads] "Do not touch Willy." Good advice! [cranks it]

Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?

Homer: No, I do not know what shaden-frawde is. [sarcasm] Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.

Lisa: It's a German term for `shameful joy', taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt! [getting mad] He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel... What's the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?

Lisa: [nastily] Sour grapes.

Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!

7F23: "When Flanders Failed"

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7F23.html

Kent: So, professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent. 1F09

Something might be happening. What is it? We don't know.

Kent: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for
                      some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely
                      what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers
                      to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?

Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.

"All right, all right, you made your point."

-- Call of the Simpsons

The real number is 912 - every Stonecutter knows that!

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do.

Who leaves the Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do.

Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do.

Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do.

(appologies to http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F09.html)

More generally, I think people are going to have to face someday that brain genetics are not somehow special. Just like certain races are shorter, taller, darker, lighter, faster, stronger, etc, certain races (and sexes...) are going to have bell curves that are different shapes. Of course, this doesn't preclude any individual from falling anywhere on the bell curve.

As per usual, The Simpsons provides guidance. From episode 3F06, 'Mother Simpson':

In Burns' office, Joe Friday and Bill Gannon [FBI agents searching for Homer's mother] interview Burns about the incident.

Friday: Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?

Burns: Absolutely! Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.

Smithers: Uh, Sir? Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.

Burns: Of course you'd say that ... you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter!

That's almost as bad as episode 2F09 of Itchy and Scratchy, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a "magic xylophone" or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

The bit where the view pans across the Springfield population. Would have been great to have that sequence in there.

I maintain the Where Is Springfield? file at snpp.com and I can say for sure that you are right: people ALWAYS think that Springfield is based on THEIR state, or the nearest Springfield to where they live. I've had emails from all over.

This is because they are more familiar with their own locality than anywhere else in America, so they see more similarities between the town on the television show and their home than any other place in America.

In reality this shows the success of the writers of the Simpsons to make Springfield, as much as possible, a reflection of all of America rolled into a single town. The name "Springfield" was chosen precisely because it was so common, because it meant Springfield could be literally anywhere in the mainland USA. Everybody sees things they recognise in the town of Springfield, and in the people of Springfield, and in the Simpsons themselves, which is part of the reason why the show became so very very popular.

Finally, for the record: Springfield is not based on a real Springfield. It is not based on ANY real town. At all. Thanks.

The dudes from Kentucky are convinced Springfield is in Kentucky, the dudes from Missouri are sure it's in Missouri... When you're selective abou tthe facts you accept, it's trivial to figure out where Springfield is located!

Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder!
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F12.html
Brett

At least once was probably during the "Behind The Laughter" episode, which is not a part of the normal Simpsons universe. The Simpsons Archive has a has a complete episode-by-episode breakdown of all state references. In short, Springfield does not have a fixed location intentionally. They picked the name Springfield precisely because it exists in so many states.

Boss: This is the DJ 3000. It plays CDs automatically, and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter.
[presses a button]
DJ 3000: [stilted] Hey, hey. How about that weather out there?
Woah! _That_ was the caller from hell.
Well, hot dog! We have a weiner.
Bill: Man, that thing's great!
Marty: _Don't_ praise the machine!
Boss: If you don't get that kid an elephant by tomorrow, the DJ 3000 gets your job.
[Marty punches it]
DJ 3000: Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.
Bill: [laughs] How does it keep up with the news like that?

Episode 1F15 - Bart Gets an Elephant

An old timer like you should know better than to make a Simpsons reference without a proper citation.

30 seconds? but I wanna be online now
Link to episode

I first lernt about this from the simpsons

Homer: Hey, look! Those frogs are eating all their crops.

from Bart vs. Australia

Haven't I seen this somewhere before?

What episode was that in? I know the phrase "My eyes! The googles do nothing!" was in episode 2F17 (entitled Radioactive Man ), but in what episode was the phrase "The goggles, they do nothing!" uttered? I'd really like to know because I've seen a lot of people quote that, saying it's from the Simpsons, but I've never been able to find it. I'd like to think all those people weren't being ignorant or just stupidly passing on an incorrect quote that they read/heard elsewhere like some moron. Can you post a link to the episode capsule or transcript?

Abe's only hope is "transdental electromicide". Dr. Riviera asks for a golf cart motor with a 1000 volt capacimator, but the two-second hesitation pushes him past schedule. Nick improvises by ripping the cords from an operating lamp and shocking the sh-- hell out of Abe. "Keep doing that every five seconds", the "doctor" instructs. The malpractice charges are dropped, and Dr. Nick enthuses "Free nose jobs for everyone!" starting with Jasper, who wants a Van Heflin.

Sure, this was to treat Skin Failure but the ancilliary benefits are just starting to come to light.

I gotta admit it was a good troll, I didn't think twice, but I also know honest people who have really made that argument, and I was pretty much speechless because I had so many counter arguments. Yeah, I need to sleep more and post less.

As for unbridled vehement reckless abandon to /.:

"Crap, boobs, crap" ... "Hell damn fart!" -- Bart, "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace"

2F14 is the production code number for Homer vs. Patty and Selma.

Forgive the ad hominem-iness of this, but that's among the most ridiculous and / or soft-balliest tosses ever seen here on Slashdot (that's saying something ...).

Three things that immediatly come to mind are 1. billions of US$$, 2. some of the most brilliant and directed engineering minds and 3. humoungous gobs of clout of several stripes (e.g. marketing; visibility; corporate).

Regarding the "trust" it'd bring to GNU/Linux as a platform, allow me to play Devil's Advocate and say it would also bring out the foil hats: would a running a GoogleOS mean they have deep knowledge of your search and other online activities, but also of your application preferences and usage patterns, even the specifics of your local docs, log files, etc?

For my own use and reasons, I would not have an issue with this presuming this the Value of this (speculative) OS outweighed the privacy concerns AND said privacy concerns were fully documented and published.

It's all moot until something actually comes out of Google Labs for use by the public; presuming there even is "Goobuntu / Goonux / GNUgle" work going on, who's to say it's not intended for Internal Use Only?

(I see there's been quite a good, informed dialog sparked by this initial question while I've been thinking / writing / spell checking (silly me ...); forgive the -1 Redundancy)

Didn't Homer make Bart do that too? Oh wait, that was grease reclamation.

is George Meyer. Here is an interview that shows how his sense of humor was what made the Simpsons really, really funny for those seasons. After he left, it was mere mortals who were writing the show.

Eleven thousand? Is that a typo? Eve if you're off by an entire order of magnitude - which I have to assume you are as even UPN's worst show commands better than $20k - The Simpsons commanded more than double that in 1999.

Oh and: NFL, NBA and NHL on their own make massive more cash aired per game than any of the toon shows make during an entire season.

The last Superbowl - pretty much the most expensive TV time there is - was went for $2.4 million. That's about 8-9x more than an average Simpsons episode, so that claim is utter crap.

The thing is, no one is saying sports doesn't draw in more viewers and isn't more "important". We're just saying be honest about it!. Football games always run long. We know this. So stop lying to us and making us guess when it shows will be on. Schedule an extra hour or whatever, and throw some sports filler in. There's always sports filler available, pre-game shows talk about nothing at all for hours on end.

So True. "But why wound his body with bullets when I
                could set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo? "

No.

ObSimpsons

Bart: Dad, you don't have ten thousand dollars.
Homer: Eh. How are they going to find me?
        [at PBS Pledge Central, the "mercury" in a thermometer
        display rises all the way to the top and rings a bell]
White: Folks, we've just reached our goal of ten thousand, seven
        hundred dollars, and it's all thanks to one generous
        caller ... who didn't leave his name.
Homer: [laughs]
White: But thanks to Insta-Trace, we've learned it's Homer
        Simpson, of 742 Evergreen Terrace. [a picture of Homer
        appears on the screen. He screams]
Homer: Oh, why did I register with Insta-Trace?

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/BABF11

His true name is Ned Flanders.

Would you look at those morons... I paid my taxes over a year ago!

From And Maggie Makes Three.

Homer spies a Time magazine with Ned Flanders on the cover and a caption "Man of the Century". Homer scoffs, "Must have been a pretty slow century."
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F07.html

Now we may never know if ants can be trained to sort tiny screws in space.

-Deep Space Homer
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F13.html

Someone tell the nerds that the camera people do this at baseball games and football games all the time! All you have to do to win that "contest" is show up - plus it's live so you get a unique opportunity to make any face you'd like!

"Good ol' Grimey. Whatever happened to him?

And the Lord said, "Purple monkey dishwasher."

It's the month after Smarch.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F04.html

Our systems have caught in our filter a Simpson's joke, originating in episode 9F20, "Marge In Chains". Enjoy your automatic +Funny moderation.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/8F11.html

Bart: Dad, do I have to brush my teeth?
Homer: No, but at least rinse your mouth out with soda.

Bart After Dark

All your TFH needs is "Speed Holes"