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Most cold dark "matter" is dark energy, which in turn is dark information. The stuff that nemories are made of.

If this Chandra experiment is successful, we should hook it up to Google to search all the info we don't know about what didn't happen.

Maybe it can't run Skype, but it will have the cool "voice chat" feature!

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:RIAA_CEO_discu sses_the_analog_hole

Mel Gibson is a great man indeed:
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Mel_Gibson

as per steve ballmer

Featured article today on Uncyclopedia: RIAA CEO discusses the analog hole. I'm not sure why this hasn't made the front page of slashdot...?

I'm fairly sure everyone here agrees... http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/RIAA

He can head over to Uncyclopedia and mess with his entry there.

He can head over to Uncyclopedia and mess with his entry there.

Colbert may be banned from Wikipedia, but he's always welcome at Uncyclopedia (www.uncyclopedia.org).

someone needs a "How to be funny and not just stupid" guide book. Oh! Here's one lying around. Should keep you amused for ages. Cheerio.

Got to love a good British parody... Age of Umpires :-)

For more information on giant enemy crabs, read this article.

You can also visit the no. 1 GEC music site, or watch a brief documentary on their importance in japanese history.

So you want to change the Pirate Edition of Windows XP into a legit edition. School facility giving out pirated copies of Windows XP is a new one on me. Anyway you might have to back up all data files, and then do a reinstall because the pirate version of Windows has modifications in it if it was gotten off of a P2P file sharing network, and possible your copy you bought might not match the one the school faculity gave your parents. I think the repair option to reinstall the OS should do the trick, just save your data files first in case it eats the hard drive and forces you to reformat.

Shiver me timbers, arrrrrrrhhhhh, what have ye got against pirates anyway? :)

Sadly, in the end, Nobody Cares other then us, and we hardly compare to the GOP (or the democrats, them being "better" is a common myth).

Don't miss the best article. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/GNOME

The largest object that I can imagine quickly is the Universe . It's taking longer to imagine the Multiverse as a single object, but it's even more fun.

Breaking news: Chairman Moa is doing 3,500 RPM in his grave

Huh?? Why is an extinct New Zealand bird a chairman? Why does this bird care about piracy and boy scouts? And why 3,500 RPM, when everyone knows the accepted units for extinct, offended animal species is unit-arcs-per-second?

Or does this Chairman Moa refer to some specific, unholy mixture of Bird and Communist, like Maozilla refers to a specific, unholy mixture of Communist and giant, radioactive Reptile?

Please clarify, since the two ideas outlined here are two totally different things.

'as much as a 5 percent increase, in industry music publishing revenues five years out from where we are right now,' Peer said.

Not content with a life of disconnecting IRC users for fun, he's now joined the music industry? What a bastard >:|

While we're at it..
from http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/FCC:
FCC (Federal Commission of Cusswords also known as Fucking Cock Crammers, Freedom Control Coalition, Fascist Communist Cocksuckers, and Fucking Communication Cunts), pronounced "FUCC", is the body responsible for the education of the United States populace in the correct use of profanity. It was created by the Use It Fucking Correctly, Shithead Act of 1972.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Peer
Unfortunately he's still at large.

Here, this page explains it.

Our Pasta, who "Arghh" in heaven, Swallowed be thy shame.
Thy Midgit come. Thy Sauce be yum, On top some grated Parmesan.
Give us this day our garlic bread. And give us our cutlasses,
As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss.
And lead us into temptation, But deliver us some Pizza.
For thine are Meatballs, and the beer, and the strippers, for ever and ever. RAmen.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Mons ter#The_Noodles_Prayer

Announcing the new Microsoft Robot - Ballmer edition, equipped with patented Fucking Death Rays(TM). As with all Microsoft products an automatic update feature is included and enabled by default, which will download new listings of people/objects to Fucking Kill(TM) along with other secuity updates. Microsoft Robot, for all your Fucking Bury(TM)ing needs!

(For the uninformed: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Steve_Ballmer )

The Xpod
I can see it now - cheap, overhyped, and bsoding.

He hasn't Fucking Kill(TM)ed everybody on his Fucking Kill(TM) list yet!

Either that or a HL2 mod... Balmer-Life! "Fucking kill" the citadel of Google! Use your eye beams on innocents! And of course, lots of chairs to use with the grav-gun...

References: Uncyclopedia

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:ThatsNoMoonThat sWikipedia.jpg

It's called Joual:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Joual

Specifically:
"The province's primary language, Joual, is a curious mix of French and gibberish known to many as franglais. The origin of the word Joual is from the french word for horse which is cheval. Franglais is to european French as Irish accent is to English. Basically, quebeckers found a way to move their mouth less while producing approximately the same sounds, leaving more energy to add more syllables, which they typically invest in cursing."

The truth of this leads me to beleive that uncyclopedia isn't doing it's job =).

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Game:Page_-1

This reads like an Uncyclopedia article that didn't survive long before falling victim to VFD.

The Authoritative Page is by far a better source than wikipedia.

It's immoral to test on humans and it should be banned. Can't they use guinea pigs instead? That's what they were invented for.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Guinea_pig (karma whoring link)

That's Captain Obvious to you!

Aha, so Noam Eppel is craving for attention again. What is it he needs this time, then? Job, money, 53x, foot massage?

Or has he finally realised that They Are Out To Get Him(tm)?

His doomsday scenario reminds me of an "interesting" article on uncoclypedia: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Bird_Flu

Only, the article on uncoclypedia is funnier...

Exhibit B

Oh well, might as well link to the whole thing: here.

Exhibit B

Oh well, might as well link to the whole thing: here.

Uncyclopedia scoops everyone yet again. They have the truth on Windows Vista. Released on an odd year in the future sometime. 2007, 2009, 2011, who knows? More details if you click the link to the Uncyclopedia article on Windows Vista.

Check this - http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Nintendo_Wii

On that note, Uncyclopedia's Coverage of the nigerian census.

The uncensored and unspoiled Wikipedia-spinoff is available here. Truth and facts, at last!!

You must be one of those Leporiphobiacs.

that nobody survives an encounter with one, it's hard to judge whether one grue is stronger than another.

Wal-Mart has had this impact on developers and publishers for quite some time. One of the most publicized occurrences was with BMX XXX - Wal-Mart didn't want to sell it because of its nature, so they toned it down to fit within Wal-Mart standards. It is unfortunate that one company with so much buying power runs the market. Gamestop is second though, with their recent merger with EB Games. But that's like comparing Godzilla to Oprah. You don't want to make either of them mad, but only one of them is powerful enough to destroy the planet. unless... http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:Oprahsaurus.jpg

How come with all this cuteness you guys still aren't celebrating the cutest thing of all, Hello Kitty?

Yeah, Hello Kitty's definitely got my vote ...

You mean Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Crap Crap Shit?

And here I thought that James Gosling invented PHP.

There's a limited area in which funny resides, and the borders aren't marked too clearly, so it's tough for people to get it right. You can find more examples of funny that just isn't if you think it will help.

Goddamn, that's the funniest thing I've read all day, good use of TM there.

I don't deserve praises for it though, came from reading Ballmer's article on the Uncyclopedia.

What would Farscape look like if any schmo could publish material about it?

I dunno.. what would America look like if any schmo could publish material about it?

It'd look just the same as it always did. Fan fiction can't change Farscape any more than Uncyclopedia can change the United States by writing a goofy article about it. People are smart enough to know the difference between actual episodes of the Farscape TV show, and unofficial material written by fans that happens to use the same characters, don't you think?