Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying

What a Suprise by Herkum01 · 2004-07-06 14:55 · Score: 5, Funny

My hair would turn grey too if I had to support 500 Windows users.

Re:What a Suprise by garcia · 2004-07-06 14:57 · Score: 4, Funny

Looks like the hair of the guy who runs this site just had their hair turn grey as they were supporting 500,000 Slashdot users.
Re:What a Suprise by afidel · 2004-07-06 15:02 · Score: 1

500 was the average per tech at a previous job. Of course we weren't first line support (generally) but it was hectic for me with only 250, I can't imagine 500. Hell the 250 begun my ongoing hairloss problem =)

--
There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. Starting now.
Re:What a Suprise by eingram · 2004-07-06 15:08 · Score: 2, Funny

I've had grey since I was in the 7th grade. Three IT jobs later, and I have SO much more (seriously (and yes, they were all Windows users)).

Now I'm doing something less stressful: working two jobs and going back to school.
Re:What a Suprise by momogasuki · 2004-07-06 15:17 · Score: 3, Funny

This only applies to Windows, though. Under Linux, hair regrowth occurs.
Re:What a Suprise by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-06 15:47 · Score: 3, Funny

I've got hair on the palm of my right hand. Does that count?
Re:What a Suprise by Red+Alastor · 2004-07-06 16:47 · Score: 1

We are not saying that anyone off the street can do it, we are currently saying it's hellish to manage 500 windows users.

Both operating systems have strong and weak points. I think that Linux is better than Windows and use it. I won't force it on you, do whatever you want, as long as I does not have to give you technical support, I really doesn't care.

I recently installed Linux on my sister's computer that is doesn't know a lot about computers because she had almost all the problems that are typical to windows (worms, BSOD, spyware, someone remotely taking control of her computer...) in two months !

In two days, she was very confortable with her desktop. Of course, she can't use the command line but she is as productive as she was on windows. The only time she boot windows, is to learn Photoshop (I couldn't not convince her to try the Gimp).

--
Slashdot anagrams to "Sad Sloth"
Re:What a Suprise by Bush+Pig · 2004-07-06 18:45 · Score: 1

I have no hair left to turn grey, you insensitive clod.

--
What a long, strange trip it's been.
Re:What a Suprise by Ford+Prefect · 2004-07-06 20:06 · Score: 1

This only applies to Windows, though. Under Linux, hair regrowth occurs.

Yes.

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Tedious Bloggy Stuff - hooray?
Re:What a Suprise by value_added · 2004-07-06 20:29 · Score: 3, Funny

"Looks like the hair of the guy who runs this site just had their hair turn grey as they were supporting 500,000 Slashdot users."

Out of curiosity, anyone have figures for how many slashdotters make a slasdhotting?

I'd ask the folks at jazzkeyboard, but they're ... well, slashdotted.
Re:What a Suprise by Nefarious+Wheel · 2004-07-07 00:14 · Score: 1

I support Windows users. When all my hair fell out, I discovered my skull was blue.

--
Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
Re:What a Suprise by why-is-it · 2004-07-07 02:01 · Score: 1

I've had grey since I was in the 7th grade.
Wow! You have me beat. I started getting grey hair when I was 15. In a way, it was no surprise as the men on my Father's side of the family have white thinning hair by their early 50's. On my Mom's side, they have full heads of dark hair into their 90's.

I was under the impression that you tended to inherit your hairline and coloring from your mother, but that may have just been wishful thinking.

Of course, I got into computers when I was 13 and that might have been the catalyst that changed things...

--
*** Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
Re:What a Suprise by timts · 2004-07-07 03:56 · Score: 1

your hair turns grey when you have to support 10 linux machines. :D
3 for macs
Re:What a Suprise by Cow+Jones · 2004-07-07 04:51 · Score: 1

Out of curiosity, anyone have figures for how many slashdotters make a slasdhotting?
Oh it's just a collective noun, meaning a group of (uncounted) individuals, like
- a herd of elephants
- a pack of dogs
- a murder of crows
- an unkindness of ravens
- a slashdotting of nerds
Look here!

--

Ah, arrogance and stupidity, all in the same package. How efficient of you. -- Londo Mollari
Re:What a Suprise by brando_j · 2004-07-07 05:35 · Score: 1

More importanly, how many Libraries of Congress make up a /.ing?
Re:What a Suprise by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 05:43 · Score: 1

Don't forget "a landfill of lawyers"

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"

Shaking my head... by ErikTheRed · 2004-07-06 14:56 · Score: 4, Funny

Actually, the humor value makes these far more useful than most Microsoft Knowledge Base articles....

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Help save the critically endangered Blue Iguana

Re:Shaking my head... by AKAImBatman · 2004-07-06 15:32 · Score: 2, Funny

Not to worry! Someone decided that some of the most useful (and dry) knowledge on the 'net needed some (also dry) humor. Thus I give you: RFC2795, The Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite (IMPS)!!!

Thanks. No really. I'll be here all week.

--
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
Re:Shaking my head... by Biogenesis · 2004-07-06 15:53 · Score: 1

Makes these? What other funny M$ pages are there? Come on man don't hold out on me!

--
...just so Google finds it.
Re:Shaking my head... by AKAImBatman · 2004-07-07 01:20 · Score: 1

You only just noticed the humourous RFCs?

Hardly. The IMPS RFC is just my favorite. Every time someone starts talking about the "infinite moneys with typewriters" problem, I whip out the RFC and say "Make sure it's RFC compliant!!!" :-)

--
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
Re:Shaking my head... by cloudmaster · 2004-07-07 02:48 · Score: 3, Informative

You forgot RFC 1149 - Standard for the transmission of IP datagrams on avian carriers. Then there's 748 and 1097 for amusing TELNET options, 1605 for SONNET to Sonnet translation, 2324 and 2325 for managing coffee pots, etc. RFC 1924 is one that's a bit more subtle in its humor. A google search for "amusing RFCs" will get a more complete list, since it's difficult to remember them all. :)
Re:Shaking my head... by Jucius+Maximus · 2004-07-07 04:01 · Score: 1

"You forgot RFC 1149 [faqs.org] - Standard for the transmission of IP datagrams on avian carriers."
Heh, this was actually featured on my Real Time Systems final exam last Winter. We had to express the Avian Carrier RFC using petri net modelling.

Mouse dos by xOleanderx · 2004-07-06 14:57 · Score: 1, Funny

I like this one: Mouse Doesn't Work with MS-DOS Shell

Re:Mouse dos by paughsw · 2004-07-06 15:02 · Score: 1

ummm, my mouse works in DOS am i missing why this is funny?
Re:Mouse dos by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-06 15:25 · Score: 3, Informative

Apparently some people think that MS-DOS never used the mouse for anything, or something like that. I remember lots of DOS programs that used the mouse, and one of the neat features of both the Windows and OS/2 DOS shells was that you could use the mouse in a shell without having to squeeze a mouse driver into the 640k + himem alloted the DOS session.

A lot of those links weren't funny at all, the only one that got me to laugh was a fake geocities page on the intricies of how to RTFM.
Re:Mouse dos by dukeisgod · 2004-07-06 17:52 · Score: 2, Informative

DOS Shell was an early GUI for DOS. Why is it funny if your mouse dosen't work? And my mouse also works just fine on the freeBSD command line, so why not DOS?
Re:Mouse dos by the+real+darkskye · 2004-07-06 22:02 · Score: 1

Step 1) Load DOS Mode Mouse Driver (mouse.com, lmouse.com, etc)
Step 2) debug
-a
mov ax,1
int 3
int 21

g
q
step 3) Enjoy cursor!

--
Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
Fuck Beta
~John Lenno
Re:Mouse dos by Trogre · 2004-07-07 12:07 · Score: 1

Darn tootin'

I used to get quite annoyed when I'd read Windows articles about DOS being text mode command-line driven only.

Nearly everything I did in DOS was graphical.

--
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife

Microsoft Support Hair Turning Gray Now by tonyr60 · 2004-07-06 14:57 · Score: 2, Funny

Obviously there are more than 500 users in the group trying to read the Knowledge Base Articles now.....

Going Grey by Hornsby · 2004-07-06 14:58 · Score: 1, Troll

I get grey hair just thinking about Windows. Is that in the knowledge base?

--
A musician without the RIAA, is like a fish without a bicycle.

Re:Going Grey by NanoGator · 2004-07-06 15:02 · Score: 3, Funny

"I get grey hair just thinking about Windows. Is that in the knowledge base?"

Are the grey hairs I got trying to make sound work in KDE in the Linux knowledgebase?

(Well I figure we might as well translate this joke to both sides.)

--
"Derp de derp."
Re:Going Grey by volinux · 2004-07-06 16:39 · Score: 1

I love linux as much as the next guy, but this is just B***S***. It might have always 'just worked' with your sound card, but for every one that 'just works' theres one that doesn't.
Re:Going Grey by Red+Alastor · 2004-07-06 16:51 · Score: 1

It's a problem on both sides. I usually get more driver problems on the Windows side but YMMV.

--
Slashdot anagrams to "Sad Sloth"
Re:Going Grey by NanoGator · 2004-07-06 17:24 · Score: 1

"No, really - sound in KDE has always 'just worked'."

Yeah, that's why old joke gets as many yucks as BSOD comments. Heh.

--
"Derp de derp."
Re:Going Grey by Jad+LaFields · 2004-07-07 01:59 · Score: 1

Or (true story, first time installing linux):

1) Install Mandrake (9.1 I believe)
2) Plug in speakers, turn on, etc.
3) Wonder why there isn't any sound.
4) Root around in the KDE menu system looking at arcane (to me) program names.
5) Find volume control - don't remember the name, but it starts with a "K" :)
6) Discover that, by default, all sound is muted.
7) Un-mute sound. Sound now works.
8) Scratch head in confusion.

Obviously a simple solution, one that probably only took me five minutes to fix -- but why? I love linux, but this is a -- admittably petty -- example of why its not quite ready "for the desktop".

--
[SIG] It's like putting a moose in the blender -- a recipe for disaster!
Re:Going Grey by orasio · 2004-07-07 02:02 · Score: 1

Yes, but the "Funny" modded troll said he was trying to get sound to work in _KDE_. That means artsd and a single stereo OSS.

Having two soundcards makes it impossible to "just work", you should configure at least which want you like the most, and disable the onboard card, if you want to save CPU cycles. For more difficult configurations, there's /etc/rc.d/rc.modules, /etc/esd.conf.

If you can edit text files, have someone do it, buy the machine pre-configured, pay support. Here is where the difference between free and Free comes up. If somebody said it would be free as in beer, they were lying to you, it might, but there's no guarantee, because price is not the issue.
Re:Going Grey by mangu · 2004-07-07 05:07 · Score: 1

Unless you have 2 or more sound chipsets. Making it choose the one you want it to choose is a hassle.

I think you mean Windows XP. I got an ASUS board with on board sound. Put a Sound Blaster, thinking I could get some extra sound channels. In Linux I got it working with no problem at all, but in XP I could never get the on board sound. The mobo wasn't defective, because when I removed the Sound Blaster the on board sound started working in XP, too.

Cue Roasted Server Jokes by prichardson · 2004-07-06 14:58 · Score: 4, Funny

I'll start... I wonder if Microsoft has a Knowledge Base article regarding your server catching fire when you get linked from Slashdot?

--
Help I'm a rock.

Re:Cue Roasted Server Jokes by cRueLio · 2004-07-06 20:04 · Score: 5, Funny

well, if the server is running BeOS, you can always check by calling is_computer_on_fire()

note: this function actually exists in the beos kernel kit, it is defined as
double is_computer_on_fire(void)

--
Investing forum
Re:Cue Roasted Server Jokes by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-06 23:51 · Score: 1, Informative

Yes, that's a handy function. But it's usually a good idea to call is_computer_on() first to make sure the return value is valid...

For a commercial OS BeOS is actually quite full of small humorous details like that. Just check the thread names(e.g. psycho_killer) color definitions, etc.
Re:Cue Roasted Server Jokes by poot_rootbeer · 2004-07-07 03:41 · Score: 1

double is_computer_on_fire(void)
The "is_" prefix in the function name clearly suggests a boolean return value, yet the data type is double.

No WONDER BeOS failed!
Re:Cue Roasted Server Jokes by Fesh · 2004-07-07 05:02 · Score: 1

Maybe it's fuzzy logic...

--
--Fesh
Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out.
Re:Cue Roasted Server Jokes by nlindstrom · 2004-07-07 11:28 · Score: 1

You mean like this?

You should see my boss... by TheOtherAgentM · 2004-07-06 14:59 · Score: 5, Funny

His hair isn't gray. It's gone. Supporting Windows also causes baldness.

Re:You should see my boss... by thre5her · 2004-07-06 20:05 · Score: 2, Funny

As well as hairy palms.
Re:You should see my boss... by omicronish · 2004-07-07 03:14 · Score: 1

His hair isn't gray. It's gone. Supporting Windows also causes baldness.

I'm an intern at Microsoft and one of the first things I noticed was the relatively large amount of bald people, so you might have some truth there ;) Maybe it's because this is the first time I've worked with an older population, but it's still an odd observation.

Plenty by powerpuffgirls · 2004-07-06 14:59 · Score: 5, Funny

How many people do you know that have hair that has turned grey?

My granparents to start with, then a couple of old folks in the neighbourhood, and Harrison Ford too..

and.. by aaron_ds · 2004-07-06 15:00 · Score: 5, Funny

In other news, Linux gives you a bigger penis.

Re:and.. by mcpkaaos · 2004-07-06 15:02 · Score: 4, Funny

All the more reason for my girlfriend to switch back to XP.

--
It goes from God, to Jerry, to me.
Re:and.. by jpmkm · 2004-07-06 15:40 · Score: 5, Funny

So you prefer your girlfriend to have a small penis?
Re:and.. by FuzzyBad-Mofo · 2004-07-06 15:44 · Score: 4, Funny

I just knew there was a reason my boyfriend encouraged me to switch to Linux..
Re:and.. by pVoid · 2004-07-06 16:07 · Score: 4, Funny

Me fail english? That's unpossible...
You'd never think Ralph wiggum would end up being trumped by none other than the president of the United States himself.
Re:and.. by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-06 16:45 · Score: 1, Funny

Hey, his 'girlfriend' lives in the cell next to him at the state pen. wouldn't you want him to at least be gentle too?
Re:and.. by kabocox · 2004-07-07 01:28 · Score: 1

So you prefer your girlfriend to have a small penis?

He prefers his girlfriend to have his. He doesn't want Linux to give her a bigger one than his.

Myself, I like... by herrvinny · 2004-07-06 15:01 · Score: 4, Informative

Myself, I like Calculator Does Not Reliably Subtract Two Numbers in Windows

Then what's the point of using a calculator in the first place?

Re:Myself, I like... by Biogenesis · 2004-07-06 15:04 · Score: 4, Insightful

Woulden't that happen sometimes because of floating point errors in the FPU anyway?

--
...just so Google finds it.
Re:Myself, I like... by weighn · 2004-07-06 15:11 · Score: 1

and I thought not doing metric/imperial conversions was a big problem for NASA satalites and shuttles!

--
Mongrel News all the news that fits and froths
Re:Myself, I like... by great+throwdini · 2004-07-06 15:18 · Score: 1

Myself, I like Calculator Does Not Reliably Subtract Two Numbers in Windows .

Something similar to this happens with the Calculator.app in OS X 10.3.3, too. For example: 2791.27 + 1358.92 = 4150.19000000001

Odd. But not unique.
Re:Myself, I like... by the_2nd_coming · 2004-07-06 15:20 · Score: 1

umm, see if they had uses Binary Encoded Decimals then there would be no floating point errors.

--

I am the Alpha and the Omega-3
Re:Myself, I like... by Biogenesis · 2004-07-06 15:25 · Score: 1

Possibly but the FPU registers would have to be significantly larger to adopt the same functionality.

--
...just so Google finds it.
Re:Myself, I like... by cubic6 · 2004-07-06 15:26 · Score: 1

" umm, see if they had uses Binary Encoded Decimals then there would be no floating point errors."

Maybe they did in the next version, since the "bug" only affects pre-95 versions...

--
Karma: Contrapositive
Re:Myself, I like... by unixbum · 2004-07-06 15:37 · Score: 5, Informative

Myself, I like Calculator Does Not Reliably Subtract Two Numbers in Windows
Probably get marked troll for this but, taken off the supplied link.
The information in this article applies to:
Microsoft Windows 3.0
Microsoft Windows 3.0a
Microsoft Windows 3.1
Microsoft Windows 3.11
Microsoft Windows for Workgroups 3.1
Microsoft Windows for Workgroups 3.11

This bug only affects Windows 3.0-3.11
Re:Myself, I like... by eman_2112 · 2004-07-06 15:40 · Score: 2, Informative

Please, I like slaming M$ as much as anybody, but posting a link to Windows 3.0 issues. . . come on
from your M$link: http://support.microsoft.com/?kbid=72540
The information in this article applies to:

* Microsoft Windows 3.0
* Microsoft Windows 3.0a
* Microsoft Windows 3.1
* Microsoft Windows 3.11
* Microsoft Windows for Workgroups 3.1
* Microsoft Windows for Workgroups 3.11
Re:Myself, I like... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-06 16:09 · Score: 2, Informative

What Every Computer Scientist Should Know About Floating-Point Arithmetic
Re:Myself, I like... by acm · 2004-07-06 16:19 · Score: 4, Informative

Raymond Chen had a good blog entry about that problem here:
The innards of Calc - the arithmetic engine - was completely thrown away and rewritten from scratch. The standard IEEE floating point library was replaced with an arbitrary-precision arithmetic library. This was done after people kept writing ha-ha articles about how Calc couldn't do decimal arithmetic correctly, that for example computing 10.21 - 10.2 resulted in 0.0100000000000016.
(These all came from people who didn't understand how computers handle floating point. I have a future entry planned to go into floating point representations in more detail.)
Today, Calc's internal computations are done with infinite precision for basic operations (addition, subtraction, multiplication, division) and 32 digits of precision for advanced operations (square root, transcendental operators).
Re:Myself, I like... by rice_web · 2004-07-06 17:16 · Score: 1, Funny

Oh, and don't forget about Mac OS X.

--
The Political Programmer
Re:Myself, I like... by stox · 2004-07-06 17:23 · Score: 1

What is really amazing about this bug, is that it was one that existed in PC-BASIC 1.0, and was quickly fixed in PC-BASIC 1.1. Strange how the same bugs keep coming back.

--
"To those who are overly cautious, everything is impossible. "
Re:Myself, I like... by Decaff · 2004-07-06 20:37 · Score: 2, Funny

Today, Calc's internal computations are done with infinite precision for basic operations (addition, subtraction, multiplication, division)

Neat. So, Pi + 1 = ....
Re:Myself, I like... by ColaMan · 2004-07-06 20:49 · Score: 4, Funny

It can do infinite precision, you just have to enter all the digits of Pi first.

--

You are in a twisty maze of processor lines, all alike.
There is a lot of hype here.
Re:Myself, I like... by HokieJP · 2004-07-07 00:50 · Score: 2, Insightful

Whoa there. Are you saying that there exists a number that's rational in base 10 but irrational in base 2? 'cause if you are, you need to stop and think about that one some more.
Re:Myself, I like... by Q+Who · 2004-07-07 02:07 · Score: 1

Today, Calc's internal computations are done with infinite precision for basic operations (addition, subtraction, multiplication, division) and 32 digits of precision for advanced operations (square root, transcendental operators).
So what does it return for 1/7?
Re:Myself, I like... by guitaristx · 2004-07-07 02:19 · Score: 1

Not true. This b*****d lied. Try this (and I'm on XP SP1):
enter in the value 1.e-47
Add one.
Subtract one.
Should'nt this give you back 1.e-47? Well, it should, if the calculator had infinite precision, but it doesn't. It gives you back zero.

It'll give you the right answer if you use 1.e-46.

--
I pity the foo that isn't metasyntactic
Re:Myself, I like... by poot_rootbeer · 2004-07-07 03:46 · Score: 1

This bug only affects Windows 3.0-3.11

Which means it was broken in 1990 when Win3.0 was released, and still broken in 1994 when WFW3.11 was released...
Re:Myself, I like... by PeterJFraser · 2004-07-07 04:18 · Score: 1

If you look at the bit pattern of 0.0100000000000016 and 0.01 as an IEEE floating point number you will see that they are the same bit pattern. The problem is not the IEEE floating point. The problem is the poor quality of the the floating number writers. A floating point number writer should look for shortest decimal representation of a binary floating point numbernot the easiest one to generate.
Re:Myself, I like... by Cat_Byte · 2004-07-07 04:35 · Score: 1

Nah you just draw a line over the repeating 9's. You only round in partial cents and electronic calculations. Most other things require more precision.

--
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one the bus load of girls just went down.
Re:Myself, I like... by _anomaly_ · 2004-07-07 05:04 · Score: 1

I've also noticed some of the same results in using the MS SQL datatype 'float' in databases.

Not sure if the "What Every Computer Scientist Should Know About Floating-Point Arithmetic" article explains this, so hopefully I'm not being redundant.

--
"I have no special gift, I am only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein
Re:Myself, I like... by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 05:50 · Score: 1

That depends, are you executing the code in question on a P54C?

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:Myself, I like... by the+chao+goes+mu · 2004-07-07 06:23 · Score: 1

More likely he's saying there is number which can be represented precisely by a sum of numbers in the form k/(10^x) which cannot be precisely represented by a sum of numbers in the form k/(2^x), where k and x are both integers.

--
Boys from the City. Not yet caught by the Whirlwind of Progress. Feed soda pop to the thirsty pigs.
Re:Myself, I like... by geekoid · 2004-07-07 15:03 · Score: 1

"(These all came from people who didn't understand how computers handle floating point. I have a future entry planned to go into floating point representations in more detail.)"

See, it's this kind of attitude that have given us the stereotype of being asses to non-computer people.

Most people do not GIVE A DAMN about how computers handle floating point, they just wanted to be sure that it works like it should. i.e. calculate correctly. If a simple subtraction operation does not work, how is the user suppose to have any confidence in the product?

you remember the user, right?

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Built in bug? by Biogenesis · 2004-07-06 15:02 · Score: 3, Funny

The headings in the article are "Symptoms" and "Resolution". Why have they made out like this is a bug when it's just a feature?

--
...just so Google finds it.

Re:Built in bug? by ResidntGeek · 2004-07-06 15:09 · Score: 1

Because they can't have people realizing how Microsoft programmers spend their time.

--
ResidntGeek

Oh that sort of user group .... by taniwha · 2004-07-06 15:03 · Score: 1

On first read it seemed to say that larger LUGs cause premature aging ......

Ugh. by numbski · 2004-07-06 15:06 · Score: 1

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:bkF8857KNYkJ: jill.jazzkeyboard.com/qarticles.html+&hl=en&ie=UTF -8

--

Karma: Chameleon (mostly due to the fact that you come and go).

Re:Ugh. by numbski · 2004-07-06 15:10 · Score: 1

That...didn't work.

Try this <--Not a trick link.

--
Karma: Chameleon (mostly due to the fact that you come and go).
Re:Ugh. by Threni · 2004-07-06 21:47 · Score: 1

What's wrong with:

http://jill.jazzkeyboard.com/qarticles.html

Re:I posted this earlier today by xOleanderx · 2004-07-06 15:06 · Score: 1

How did that just redirect me to microsoft.com in firefox?

many are not even remotely amusing by SuperBanana · 2004-07-06 15:08 · Score: 5, Insightful

This web site has a large collection of links to humorous Microsoft Knowledge Base articles

Um, no, they're really not.

Sampling:

Article about how an IBM flat panel monitor causes interference with the MS wireless mouse. Hahahahaaha. Not.
Article about how the user group ICON changes to one with grey hair. Not some amusing article about user groups(as in LUGs) as was implied. It's also not "spontaneous", it happens at exactly 500 users. Every single time. It's a small feature, really, that probably confused some MCSE's.
broken link to a supposed "pandora's box program" article.
the ages old, stupid "keyboard not present press F1 to continue"(WHEN YOU HAVE PLUGGED IN A $#@!ING KEYBOARD, when will you people understand it's not even remotely funny)
Article about how you can't eject a laptop from its docking station if one of the docking station ports is in use. HAHAHA. Not.

I like geeky humor as much as the next slashdot reader, but many of the "funny "articles aren't even remotely funny- many of them describe some unusual problem, and that's it.

There are a few gems(How to Read the Fucking Manual is amusing in that it's even there), but in general, they REALLY stretched the definition of "funny" on many of these submissions.

--
Please help metamoderate.

Re:many are not even remotely amusing by Lehk228 · 2004-07-06 15:24 · Score: 1

my friend had an old machine with bios that did print error: Keyboard not detected, press enter to continue

I beleive it wasn't so much a stupid error as a funny side effect, nearest i could tell the bios had different values for different errors, since some errors are critical and cause bootup to fail (lack of bootable device, failing memory, etc. and oters are not critical but get a notification, and when putting the no keyboard error in it was set as a non-critical error, which prompts for a keypress, just like a missing mouse.

--
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by dAzED1 · 2004-07-06 15:39 · Score: 1

the point was that you needed to plug the damn keyboard in, then press enter (or f1, or whatever). The parent post tried to make that clear.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by Jeremy+Erwin · 2004-07-06 15:43 · Score: 2, Funny

the ages old, stupid "keyboard not present press F1 to continue"(WHEN YOU HAVE PLUGGED IN A $#@!ING KEYBOARD, when will you people understand it's not even remotely funny)
Please explain how one "plugs in" a bluetooth keyboard.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by bravehamster · 2004-07-06 15:51 · Score: 1

Except a lot of modern motherboards won't see the keyboard if it wasn't detected during startup. Plugging in a keyboard won't do jack shit until you restart. That wasn't true back during the AT days, but it is now, at least for most of the mobo's we use.

--
---- El diablo esta en mis pantalones! Mire, mire!
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by elid · 2004-07-06 16:08 · Score: 1

There are a few gems(How to Read the Fucking Manual is amusing in that it's even there)
I don't think this one's a real support page at Microsoft. Look at the link - it points to some Geocities page....
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by ky11x · 2004-07-06 16:40 · Score: 1

How did this get modded insightful? The poster is apparently in a bad mood and wanted to slash out at people who are in a good humor. Geez, calm down. These are funny to the rest of us. If you are not in the mood to laugh at jokes, just go do something else. No need to yell at the rest of us and claim to define what "humor" is for us. You are getting to be like a Malvolio.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by Lehk228 · 2004-07-06 16:43 · Score: 1

you go right ahead and plug in/ unplug PS/2 devices while the system is running, and make a note of that habit on your warrantee cards as well... not often but sometimes it trashes the motherboard, the BIOS mfgr would never deliberately instruct the user to perform a potentially damaging action.

--
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by ari_j · 2004-07-06 18:25 · Score: 1

The RTFM HOWTO is a parody, hosted on geocities. Sorry to ruin the only one you liked.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by real_smiff · 2004-07-06 18:48 · Score: 4, Interesting
it got modded by mods who also happened to not find it funny. personally, i normally don't find geek humour funny, but some of these i liked. e.g.
- Q269916: Office Assistant Makes Sudden Loud Noise
- Q261186: Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music
- Q264642: Scenery Shudders Violently When You Fly the Concorde
- Q284895: Text Is Typed by Office Assistant Sounds When Microphone Is Turned off or Unplugged (actually super annoying when it happens i bet)
sure it's not deep lasting humour but it's ok for a quick laugh.
others are just lame (Cookies Lost After Upgrading to Windows XP, whatever could that mean, or Q323927: How to Resurrect a Dead Character, yes i bet it's not a game), or like Q174630: Windows Restarts Continuously with Blue Screen, just not funny. at least for anyone who's had to deal with windows computers.
that page needs cutting down.
--
This is my Sig, this is my Gun. One is for Slashdot and one is for Fun.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by jaavaaguru · 2004-07-06 20:20 · Score: 1

I've not seen that problem at all recently. I know that Windows has problems with PS/2 keyboards if the keyboard gets plugged in while Windows is running, but other operating systems don't, so I don't think it's a BIOS problem.

--
Follow me
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by loraksus · 2004-07-06 23:48 · Score: 2, Funny

whoa there buddy, easy on the fucking cursing.

Read the Fantastic Manual ;)

--
1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by hymie3 · 2004-07-07 00:36 · Score: 1

jwz? Is that you?
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by dAzED1 · 2004-07-07 01:48 · Score: 1

do you know how simple it would be to do a detect, and on fail supply low power and look for only one signal (the enter key)? Do you really think that is that complicated? Certainly, don't do it once its past post - but we're talking about during post here, where things can easily be different.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 05:47 · Score: 1

I can help you with your problem, but you must call my support number (1-900-WHO-CARES) and pay me $2.95/minute for support. Thank you for supporting Microsoft...

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by EddWo · 2004-07-07 09:27 · Score: 1

The microsoft bluetooth keyboard comes with a usb dongle/desktop antenna for communicating with the computer.
This dongle requires a software stack to support a bluetooth connection to the keyboard. The software is not loaded until Windows has booted to the logon prompt. Thus if you only have a bluetooth keyboard you cannot adjust your bios settings or choose an OS to load from a boot loader.
On some older motherboards the bios can be set to check for a keyboard on boot and will fail if one is not present.
If you have just chucked out your old PS/2 keyboard and replaced it with a shiny new bluetooth one, but haven't set the bios not to check for a keyboard you will have a problem. I know of no bioses that support a bluetooth stack natively so this is likely to be a problem on and operating operating system.

--
"Taligent is still pure vapor. Maybe they'll be the last who jumps up on Openstep... "
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by Lehk228 · 2004-07-07 10:10 · Score: 1

i'm sure it wouldn't be hard to do, i am also sure that they don't do it. and no they couldn't supply lower power to the port, since that could harm the Keyboard (or simply cause the keyboard to not send any signal whatsoever)

--
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
Re:many are not even remotely amusing by Jeremy+Erwin · 2004-07-07 10:43 · Score: 1

Perhaps the hackery needs to be a little more elaborate.

Re:I posted this earlier today by Dynedain · 2004-07-06 15:09 · Score: 1

It seems to work with any domain name. It looks like ICANN or Verisign is up to their redirect/hijacking tricks again...

--
I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message.....

MS - New Business Venture by linsys · 2004-07-06 15:09 · Score: 2, Funny

In Technology News Today, Microsoft has announced it's leaving the software industry and decided to use their programmers REAL tallent, Commedy!

We have decided to give back the technology sector to the Real Programers and venture into contenet driven comedy web sites, shoot we already have the Database....

Funny.com look OUT!!

--
-=Linsys=-
http://www.intrusionsec.com

Re:I posted this earlier today by Barbarian · 2004-07-06 15:09 · Score: 1

wtf?

can someone who understands urls better than me explain?

Re:...and the obligatory Windows bashing. by jerkychew · 2004-07-06 15:11 · Score: 1

Yeah, because performing simple tasks in linux is sooo much easier. Troll.

Re:I posted this earlier today by powerpuffgirls · 2004-07-06 15:11 · Score: 3, Informative

It's because some browsers (like my Firefox) use google.com to search for the typo, and sure enough, www.microsoft.com is the first link if you search http in google.com.

If you enter "imoou" in the Firefox address field (without anything else, just imoou), you'll get redirected to the first link as if you search the same term in google.com.

Re:I posted this earlier today by dev007 · 2004-07-06 15:13 · Score: 2, Informative

Using Firefox 0.9.1: It looks like it does a Google search for "http" and sends you to the first result for "http", which is www.microsoft.com. Why that is, I don't know.

Re:I posted this earlier today by Quattro+Vezina · 2004-07-06 15:13 · Score: 1

Hmm...Firefox 0.9 on Linux gives the message: ``http could not be found. Please check the name and try again.''

So it's at least not a universal bug.

--
I support the Center for Consumer Freedom

Re:I posted this earlier today by ohsoot · 2004-07-06 15:13 · Score: 1

Weird. It appears to do this with any URL that starts with http://http:// I tried it in firefox and IE, it didn't happen in IE though, which I think is even stranger.

Anyone try it with any other browsers?

Ohhh, Microsoft. . . you hamm by puppetluva · 2004-07-06 15:13 · Score: 1

Who knew Microsoft was so funny and charming!

I bet that customers really appreciate a good sense of humor while they are being bent over the shop-counter.

Don't fall to far in love, though, you're bound to end up with a virus and feeling end-used.

PS: How many systems did Visio PING? Ha, ha, ha, Oh, stop! No really. . . stop.

Re:I posted this earlier today by typhoonius · 2004-07-06 15:14 · Score: 1

Seems to work for any arbitrary HTTP URL. E.g., http://http://www.google.com/ . Or just http://http . I don't understand it either.

yipeee by GISGEOLOGYGEEK · 2004-07-06 15:15 · Score: 2, Funny

Great, a microsoft joke about grey hair and user groups.

Now we'll have to put up with all the linux fanboys sporting freshly died deep dark hair, claiming the latest kernal has made them young.

--
George Bush + Linux = "I will not let information get in the way of the fight against Windows"

Re:yipeee by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 06:01 · Score: 1

If your hair died, then it's fallen out, and your joke makes no sense. Let's hear it for grammar and spelling!

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:yipeee by GISGEOLOGYGEEK · 2004-07-07 15:04 · Score: 1

Hair is dead protein, so I was half right.

And leave my grammer out of this, she's a nice old lady.

--
George Bush + Linux = "I will not let information get in the way of the fight against Windows"

You can't make some of this stuff up... by UnCivil+Liberty · 2004-07-06 15:15 · Score: 5, Funny

The power of Christ compels thee! SATAN Causes High Memory Utilization in WUSER32

Drr... Network Adapter Does Not Work if Unplugged

404 ;) Barney Fun on Imagination Island Error Message: Barney Not Found

Thank god Mozilla remembers passwords Error Message: Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 Passwords

!!! Explorapedia Nature: Earth Rotates in Wrong Direction

(insert your own quip here) Personalized Start Page Appears Upside Down and Backwards

After installing MS-DOS on a computer system with both MS-DOS and UNIX, your SCO UNIX login sign disappears. - no complaints here UNIX Login Sign Disappears After Installing MS-DOS

MS gets straight to the point Homepub Error Message: Something Is Missing...

Can you hear me now? WD2002: Text Is Typed by Office Assistant Sounds When Microphone Is Turned off or Unplugged

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery Left Mouse Button Click Acts Like Right Mouse Button Click

Hunny I shrunk the kids part 4 MSB Human Body Minimizes When Printing To HP Deskjet

So what happens if you create a Windows folder in /windows? Erratic Behavior Occurs If You Create a "Desktop" Folder on the Desktop

You don't say... ACC2000: Opening and Closing a Form Hundreds of Times Noticeably Affects System Resources

Rim shot please... Julia Child Err Msg: Insufficient Memory to Function

Has happened to me before Plus! 98: Computer Hangs When You Start Lose Your Marbles

Douglas Adams couldn't top this "Object Not Found" Error Message Accessing "The Known Universe" in MMS

And an oil change... MSB Solar: ErrMsg: Magic School Bus Needs More Memory

--
Distributed proteome folding @ WorldCommunityGrid.org
Team Slashdot - Members:#1 Run Time:#1 Points:#1 Results:#1

Re:You can't make some of this stuff up... by herrvinny · 2004-07-06 15:25 · Score: 4, Funny

From SMS: SATAN Causes High Memory Utilization in WUSER32:

The Security Administrator Tool for Analyzing Networks (SATAN) is a UNIX- based testing and reporting tool that collects a variety of information about networked hosts. SATAN will attempt to access many UDP and TCP ports across the network in a very short space of time.

That proves it! UNIX is evil! Burn UNIX!
Re:You can't make some of this stuff up... by _Sprocket_ · 2004-07-06 16:28 · Score: 2, Funny

That proves it! UNIX is evil! Burn UNIX!

If you repent first, you can continue using Unix under the watchfull eyes of Santa instead.
Re:You can't make some of this stuff up... by RonnyJ · 2004-07-06 20:48 · Score: 2, Funny

Error Message: Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 Passwords
Note that the number of required characters changes from 17,145 to 18,770 with the installation of SP1.
...and some people say MS don't care about improving security :)
Re:You can't make some of this stuff up... by Jugalator · 2004-07-06 23:41 · Score: 1

Oh fuck i'm old, i remember SATAN when it was big news back in 1995.

Yeah, you have to be, like, born around 1980 to recall these things.
Damn you're old.

Regards,
7 year old /. user

--
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
Re:You can't make some of this stuff up... by sharkey · 2004-07-07 04:09 · Score: 1

If you repent first, you can continue using Unix under the watchfull eyes of Santa instead.
Don't you mean Linux? After all, Santa helped write it.

--

--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.

Re:I posted this earlier today by mtnharo · 2004-07-06 15:16 · Score: 2, Informative

Actually, I think it is related to your browser auto-searching in some way. A search for "http" in google yields microsoft.com as the top result. If your browser automatically does a search when you type a bad domain (http//www.ebay.com results in NXDOMAIN in nslookup, as it should), then it might be using that to end up at microsoft.com Usually the default search engine for Firefox is google.

Oddly enough, Konqueror gives me an error about the url, but Firefox does send me to microsoft.com Strange but true. Changing your default search engine might change the page you end up at.

Windows == stressful by neuro.slug · 2004-07-06 15:17 · Score: 1

Hell, if you use Windows for long enough, it'll turn your hair gray regardless of how many users there are in your group.

-- n

Re:I posted this earlier today by kubrick · 2004-07-06 15:17 · Score: 1

I think it's a Firefox / Firebird / whatever thing -- it looks up Google first, and sends an empty "I'm Feeling Lucky" search... interesting that Google is redirecting that to microsoft.com. (Doing an empty search from the main Google page doesn't do this.) Verified with the LiveHTTPHeaders extension.

--
deus does not exist but if he does

Re:...and the obligatory Windows bashing. by jebiester · 2004-07-06 15:19 · Score: 2, Insightful

You have to edit the freaking registry to change a simple icon's color?? How in the world do you expect the mythical "Joe Sixpack" to manage that? Every time you have a less-than-wizard user poke around in the registry you risk absolute ruin.

Neither this knowledge base article, no the registry, are there for 'Joe Sixpack'. Microsoft isn't expecting everyone to stop the icon from changing haircolor, and it's harly a 'bug' that's going to cause anyone problems.

Sure, poking around the registry can be dangerous, but so can poking around the files in /etc. It seems much the same thing. I think trying to criticise Microsoft for something like this that's harmless is really streching it.

This could be a feature! by earthforce_1 · 2004-07-06 15:20 · Score: 4, Funny

Other suggestions:
Hair stands on end if system under attack
Hair falls out if virus detected
Receeding hairline indicates time to patch the system
Punk green hairstyle means hacker detected

--
My rights don't need management.

Re:This could be a feature! by tukkayoot · 2004-07-07 06:06 · Score: 1

It's probably already patented.

Re:I posted this earlier today by crymeph0 · 2004-07-06 15:20 · Score: 1

So does this mean that microsoft.com is the single most linked to page on the internet, or what? It's just a strange result. Maybe Google's algorithm is incorrectly interpreting the 'http' in the href as a keyword, or something?

--
It should be illegal to say that freedom of speech should be limited.

Re:I posted this earlier today by mrskibone · 2004-07-06 15:20 · Score: 2, Informative

Well, in Firefox, if you type in a URL without a domain (.com, .net, etc.), it will search Google and give you the top result. The top result for "http" is Microsoft. It will do that for any gobbledegook you type in. (gobbledegook will take you to startbusiness.co.uk)

Re: MS proven bad by DaHat · 2004-07-06 15:21 · Score: 1

Since when is grey hair hazardous to your health? I've been going grey since 17 and I'm as healthy as I ever was!

--
Help Brendan pay off his student loans

why would joe sixpack be managing a domain? by SuperBanana · 2004-07-06 15:21 · Score: 4, Informative

How in the world do you expect the mythical "Joe Sixpack" to manage that?

Why would the mythical Joe Sixpack be managing a computer or domain with 500 users, and further, be bothered enough by the different icon color? A company with 500 windows users damn well better have an experienced windows tech.

It's probably there to help some poor geek in a fortune-500 whose PHB declares, "fix that" and makes him waste a week on it so the department looks busy.

--
Please help metamoderate.

Re:why would joe sixpack be managing a domain? by loraksus · 2004-07-06 23:45 · Score: 1

Why would the mythical Joe Sixpack be managing a computer or domain with 500 users,

Why indeed. Why God? Why!?! /runs to corner and cries.

Although I don't agree with the op, I think that windows is sometimes too easy - with a *nix server, it is pretty hard for "Bob who sat beside the laser printer and was promptly promoted to head of IT" to get it to do what you he wants to without fucking up or getting frustrated to the point where he calls in someone who knows the difference between a nic and a modem.
With windows, you get a "configure your server" screen when you first login that basically guides you in an idiot proof manner to do simple stuff - and even if you don't use the wizzards, you can usually poke around and find it.
Of course, after a while, Bob futzes up the whole setup and has to call someone in who is glad to bill them at $300/hour.

--
1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
Re:why would joe sixpack be managing a domain? by Trogre · 2004-07-07 11:55 · Score: 1

Why would the mythical Joe Sixpack be managing a computer or domain with 500 users

Because Joe's lodge buddy whispered in the ear of the CEO, who shelled out for him to get an MCSE (ie just enough knowledge to be dangerous) and made him CTO.

Honestly, it's positively scary to see what type of people are in positions of immense responsibility.

--
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife

Re:...and the obligatory Windows bashing. by perlchild · 2004-07-06 15:25 · Score: 1

Errr but the icon is related to AD, a network management tool. Just how much good drugs did you have to think someone would let Joe Sixpack within a parsec of a network management tool's configuration screens?

Re:I posted this earlier today by aardvarkjoe · 2004-07-06 15:25 · Score: 3, Informative

As many have pointed out, Microsoft has nothing to do with this. (Please remove foil hats before moderating, people -- they may block government mind scanners, but they also seem to prevent intelligent thought.) In Opera, it becomes http://www.http.com/www.ebay.com, which seems to be owned by SearchMachine.com (it's one of those stupid advertising sites masquerading as a portal or search engine.)

--

How can we continue to believe in a just universe and freedom to eat crackers if we have no ale?

My favorite by Quixote · 2004-07-06 15:25 · Score: 5, Funny

Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music I don't know about you folks, but it would freak me out if my computer suddenly started playing classical music on it's own.

Re:My favorite by Dwedit · 2004-07-06 15:51 · Score: 1

I've heard about this, it does it when the CPU fan fails, and the temperature is too high. It will play Fur Elise, or some other classical tune, and run at a slower clock speed.
Re:My favorite by cs02rm0 · 2004-07-06 21:28 · Score: 1

THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!

I spent fucking ages trying to work that out for someone. Hmmn. I couldn't work out what it was so I just unplugged the PC speaker, then last summer I put it in engine oil for a magazine article I wrote in the UK. After that I chucked it out and can't go back and fix it :( ...ah well... the one that got away.
Re:My favorite by ms1234 · 2004-07-06 22:09 · Score: 1

During the good old days when I was running OS/2 I installed a shareware application. Installed perfectly. Went away from the computer to watch TV. Suddenly I heard a fanfare. Thought it came from the TV. After a while again. Turned out it was the shareware (nagware?) application playing a fanfare now and then while unregistered.
Re:My favorite by Carnildo · 2004-07-07 05:35 · Score: 1

At least it wasn't playing "Taps".

--
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
Re:My favorite by EddWo · 2004-07-07 09:49 · Score: 1

Did you notice that it said it was caused by the bios/power/cooling detection hardware built into the motherboard?
Not a problem with windows at all then.
The same hardware running any other operating system would behave in exactly the same fashion. Microsoft were just trying to explain it.

--
"Taligent is still pure vapor. Maybe they'll be the last who jumps up on Openstep... "

Re:I posted this earlier today by big+tex · 2004-07-06 15:28 · Score: 1

Konqueror gives:

An error occurred while loading http://http//www.ebay.com:

Unknown host http

Which, as far as I can tell, is the correct answer.

--
I think I need a new sig here.

my favourite is # 824973 by TomDLux · 2004-07-06 15:28 · Score: 5, Funny

This article discusses how to install Red Hat Linux 6.2 on Microsoft Virtual PC 5 for Macintosh.

Talk about indecisive people.

Re:I posted this earlier today by tonyr60 · 2004-07-06 15:28 · Score: 1

Isn't http-equiv a leading Microsoft bug finder recently? If this is the reason I am not sure if that would be humerous or serious....

Microsoft Products Cause Trichotillomania by mbstone · 2004-07-06 15:31 · Score: 4, Funny

Microsoft Knowledge Base Article - 12AFB02819B23

Attempted Debugging of Microsoft Products Causes Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)

IMPORTANT: This article contains information about modifying the registry. Before you modify the registry, make sure you wear a helmet to avoid the obsessive-compulsive disorder-inducing effects of attempting to modify the registry.

SYMPTOMS
If a user attempts to debug a problem with certain Microsoft products, the user will become frustrated and pull all of his or her hair out. This issue affects operating systems, servers, workstations, networking components, application programs, user groups, end user support personnel, and the ability to get a date.

RESOLUTION
WARNING: If you use Registry Editor incorrectly, you may exacerbate the problem. Microsoft cannot guarantee that you will be able to regrow your hair either with the assistance of a psychiatrist or with Rogaine(TM). Use Registry Editor at your own risk.

Windows debugging is inherently frustrating and causes users, administrators, managers, and shareholders to pull all their hair out, sometimes with needlenose pliers.

You can override this behavior in the registry. To do so, modify the FormatHardDiskOnStartup REG_DWORD value in the following registry key:
HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\Run ,Dammi t!

The default value is 0x0; change this value to 0x1.

STATUS
Microsoft has confirmed that this is a problem in the Microsoft products that are listed at the end of this article.

WORKAROUND
It feels good when you stop. Also, try Hair Club for Men.

PRODUCTS AFFECTED
Windows 3.1
Windows 95
Windows 98
Windows ME
Windows NT
Windows 2000
Windows XP
Windows Server 2000
Windows Advanced Server 2000
Windows Server 2003
Windows Advanced Server 2003
Windows Media Player
Windows Update
Microsoft Word
Microsoft Excel
Microsoft Visio
Microsoft Flight Simulator
Microsoft Access
Microsoft SQL Server
Microsoft PowerPoint
Microsoft Visual Studio

Re:Microsoft Products Cause Trichotillomania by Marko+DeBeeste · 2004-07-06 16:25 · Score: 1

It just caused hair on the palms of my hands.

--
Faith: n. -- That human impulse that drives them to steal appliances when the power goes out

How can anyone take them seriously anymore? by DrugCheese · 2004-07-06 15:31 · Score: 2, Funny

Directly from Microsofts 'Knowledge' Database:

SYMPTOMS
When you start the Create Shortcut wizard, a temporary icon is created that you can copy, send to a folder, or to which you can create a shortcut. These temporary icons are empty or point to nothing

Resolution:
To resolve this issue, ignore the temporary icon.

haha

SYMPTOMS
Computer unresponsive or may present blue screen of death.

ResolutionL
To resolve this issue, ignore the blue screen, this is normal.

--
*DrugCheese rants*

Re:How can anyone take them seriously anymore? by DrugCheese · 2004-07-07 01:00 · Score: 1

Post as a user loser

Two brand new dell laptops with XP were getting the BSOD last week here. So BZZZZZZZZ you're wrong

--
*DrugCheese rants*

Another example of Microsoft FUD campaing by gmuslera · 2004-07-06 15:36 · Score: 1

Where you have typical groups of a lot of people? Free sites, free software development, open communities. All that goes against Microsoft policy of having all and each one tied and isolated from the rest.

What will be next? Programming for free causes impotence?

Re:Another example of Microsoft FUD campaing by Loligo · 2004-07-06 21:44 · Score: 1

> Where you have typical groups of a lot of people?

Most of the larger companies I've worked for have fairly large groups like "Everyone" and "MIS" or "Marketing" or "Administration". Some of those departmental groups can easily exceed 500 people.

-l

from one of those pages... by commodoresloat · 2004-07-06 15:43 · Score: 2, Funny

Explorapedia Nature: Earth Rotates in Wrong Direction

SUMMARY
When you run Explorapedia and use the Exploratron to look at the Earth spinning, the Earth rotates in the wrong direction.

STATUS
Microsoft has confirmed this to be a problem in the World of Nature and not Explorapedia, version 1.0. Simply spin the Earth in the opposite direction, and then the direction indicated in the Exploratron will be correct.

a few by loid_void · 2004-07-06 15:45 · Score: 1

The grey hair crowd is the fastest growing segment of the Internet. How's that for knowledge?

--
Anyone seen my jagged little pill?

Re:a few by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-06 16:52 · Score: 2, Funny

" The grey hair crowd is the fastest growing segment of the Internet."

Yet, still the slowest on the road... *sigh*

mirror by chrisopherpace · 2004-07-06 15:54 · Score: 1

Mirror is here, although I don't know for how long!

--

Bored? Why not join a decent mess

I WUV YOU, YOU WUV ME... by brownpau · 2004-07-06 15:57 · Score: 4, Funny

Sometimes Barney starts playing Peekaboo on his own.

Re:I WUV YOU, YOU WUV ME... by sense_net · 2004-07-06 16:47 · Score: 1

Sometimes Barney starts playing Peekaboo on his own.
I really hope that whatever he's playing peekaboo with isn't plush and purple.

Is it just me, or are these not funny? by pVoid · 2004-07-06 16:04 · Score: 1

BUG: Misleading Default Pushbutton Painting

Is it just me, or are these just absolutely unfunny bugs? Just basic, and sometimes "D'uh" bugs, but still not funny.

Nothing beats Clarus, the Dogcow by adenied · 2004-07-06 16:07 · Score: 4, Funny

Some of these are amusing, but nothing beats Clarus the Dogcow of Apple fame. See for instance Apple technote TN1031:

http://developer.apple.com/technotes/tn/tn1031.h tm l

Or the original, TN31 which Apple seems to have removed from their website recently.

Moof.

Re:Nothing beats Clarus, the Dogcow by Halo1 · 2004-07-06 19:51 · Score: 1

Apple's knowledge base also contains some gems, like this one about Mac OS X Mail:
You print from Mail, but the printout looks strange--backwards and upside down, that is. Instead of standing on your head and using a mirror to read it, try our helpful tips before you print.

--
Donate free food here
Re:Nothing beats Clarus, the Dogcow by sharkey · 2004-07-07 04:11 · Score: 1

Or, you could take advantange of this marvelous new concept called hyperlinks.

--

--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Re:Nothing beats Clarus, the Dogcow by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 05:58 · Score: 1

Hey look, another opportunity for me to bash apple and throw away some karma! Apple has been known to remove entries from their library. First it was technotes, then techinfo library entries... Soon enough, kb articles will begin disappearing.
Meanwhile, Microsoft has basically their entire knowledge base since the dawn of Time (well, since the dawn of Microsoft) online for all to peruse without so much as logging in, and it works in non-IE browsers, too. Not that Apple's kb doesn't work in assorted browsers, but given the perception of Microsoft I found it worth mentioning.
Microsoft may be evil, but Apple is pure evil. The only reason M$ is worse than Apple is their monopoly position. If Apple had ended up where Microsoft is today, I firmly believe the world would be an even darker place.

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:Nothing beats Clarus, the Dogcow by lrucker · 2004-07-07 07:01 · Score: 1

Meanwhile, Microsoft has basically their entire knowledge base since the dawn of Time
Really? Then why do so many of the entries on that webpage say " Note: Microsoft has taken it down. Sorry." or "Note: MS has edited the original. This now links to archive.org."
Re:Nothing beats Clarus, the Dogcow by drinkypoo · 2004-07-08 02:51 · Score: 1

I dunno, I couldn't see the webpage. Thanks, slashdot! :P Seriously though, I guess I just never noticed, but Apple TIL documents which impacted me directly had gone missing.

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"

Mirror by cetan · 2004-07-06 16:08 · Score: 1

http://home.comcast.net/~phule/qarticles.html

--
In Soviet Russia...michael would be rotting in Siberia!

It's not really a joke... by LostCluster · 2004-07-06 16:28 · Score: 5, Informative

The icon hair color changes from dark to gray in order to indicate that the statuses aren't going to be queried in advance of the user wanting to see details on the group... it's not really an easter egg, it's a feature. Gray is the color in the computer world to indicate such inactive states, isn't it?

Re:It's not really a joke... by ObsessiveMathsFreak · 2004-07-06 22:30 · Score: 1

Perhaps it's meant to emphasise that a group has emerged from ad-hoc, NETBUEI based, immaturity, and has ventured into the more dignified and professional, TCP/IP based middle age cycle.

Which completely ignore the fact that as you get older, things may not work as expected and certain things may stop working altogether!

--
May the Maths Be with you!

The only thing that comes to mind by codepunk · 2004-07-06 16:33 · Score: 1

The only phrase I can think of that comes to mind when having to touch a windows box is..

"BRING OUT THE GIMP! (Pulp Fiction)"

Now that will give you grey hair...

--

Got Code?

Keep in mind.... by solios · 2004-07-06 16:33 · Score: 3, Interesting

This is slashdot, where User Friendly is the shit. And about as funny, imo.

Go ahead, flamebate me- point is that a sense of humor is a highly relative thing- one man's OMFGWTFROTFLMAO!!!1 is another man's "man, I just wasted $minutes of my life on this shit."

Cases in point : Saturday Night Live and User Friendly.

I like this one by SomeGuyFromCA · 2004-07-06 16:38 · Score: 5, Funny

Only one hemisphere of the planet Mercury has a bitmap surface. The other hemisphere is a smooth gray surface.

Their explanation: The planet textures used in Space Simulator are compiled from NASA photographs and reference material. The NASA data on Mercury is incomplete, covering only one hemisphere of the planet. One hemisphere was therefore intentionally left blank, reflecting this lack of data.

Well, how inconsiderate of them. They should have put THIS SIDE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK or something...

--
if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright

Re:I like this one by dash2 · 2004-07-06 22:51 · Score: 1

Woohoo, a fellow PWEI fan! (-1 offtopic)

Re:I posted this earlier today by keefey · 2004-07-06 16:53 · Score: 1

In IE 6 I get: http://www.enterthere.com.au/rd/404.html

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by general_re · 2004-07-06 17:00 · Score: 4, Informative

Yeah, and the Windows calculator is also way too big and heavy to hang from your belt loop or put in your pocket.

Seriously, get real for a minute - it's purely a convenience thing, not something intended to be a full-blown replacement for your HP-48 or whatever. People who need full-fledged scientific calculators probably already have one to begin with, and therefore just about nobody is going to care that you can't do arctans in the Windows calc. And the very few who do demand such things on their desktops can readily find more advanced calculators elsewhere.

--
ABSURDITY, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Re:CPU by techno-vampire · 2004-07-06 17:18 · Score: 1

The problem was with the earliest Pentium CPU's, long after Windows 3.0.

--
Good, inexpensive web hosting

Re:...and the obligatory Windows bashing. by deranged+unix+nut · 2004-07-06 17:20 · Score: 3, Insightful

1) This is a feature in Active Directory Users and Computers, not normally used by Joe Sixpack, to give administrators a quick and easy way to see which groups have a bunch of users in them.

2) Joe Sixpack, while he might be able to with Windows Server 2003, isn't likely to spend the time to deploy DDNS, Windows Server 2000 or 2003, configure Active Directory, and then add his closest 500 friends into a single group and then wonder why the icon for the group changed color.

3) Out of 1000 administrators who would even hit this and be aware enough to notice it, how many do you expect would be disturbed enough by this feature to want to dig in and turn it off? My guess is that it would be in the single digits.

Re:I posted this earlier today by BlueArchon · 2004-07-06 17:22 · Score: 1

Opera 7.50 redirects to www.http.com.
It seems to automatically add www. and .com to single words typed in the adress bar.

Many GUI systems could learn from it by little_prince · 2004-07-06 17:57 · Score: 1

The idea could be extended to show the icon with different levels of grey to indicate how long the user has been registered on the sytem (when was user created) or how long the user has been in the current session and could be other interesting possibilities. since we don't want to apply different scales of grey on entire icon, we would need an icon revolution ;) where icon is organised into hair and rest-of-it . longer the user been in session / older the user is on system, the hair part of icon will be applied with grey factor (some people.. ooopss. icon might have colored hair as well).. hope to see this in coming edition of kde/gnome and of course if some MS dude is reading this post, in next service pack of windows too.

Watch out! by PsiPsiStar · 2004-07-06 17:58 · Score: 1

The article is actually a link to pictures of clippy.

--

___
It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.

Can I use it till I need glasses? by Dark+Bard · 2004-07-06 18:04 · Score: 1

Yeah but according to them using Linux will make you go blind.

Interesting by TheSpoom · 2004-07-06 18:05 · Score: 2

This BIOS feature is pretty interesting. Does anyone know if any new motherboards and BIOS chips do this nowadays?

--
It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs

Re:Interesting by Trogre · 2004-07-07 11:59 · Score: 1

In every MB I've bought since 2001, you can tell the BIOS at what temperature the machine will turn itself off at.

Any other problems (like missing RAM, bad video card, etc) and the speaker just beeps at you.

Then again, nearly every motherboard in the South Pacific has an Award BIOS so it might be a bit different to your part of the world.

--
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife

Re:Clearly an easter-egg "appeal" to young coders by cujo_1111 · 2004-07-06 18:16 · Score: 2, Insightful

I don't think many of these articles are meant to be funny (not that many of them are funny anyway). Some of them are completely valid issues that when read out of context seem funny. So leave MS alone on this one and have a go at the people who think they are funny.

I guess you didn't read the articles or else you would know that. I shouldn't be surprised really.

--
If I point out that you are incorrect, making me a foe does not make you any more correct.

Re:I posted this earlier today by lpangelrob2 · 2004-07-06 18:23 · Score: 1

Different browsers handle this URL differently, etc. etc. here's what I found. :-p Safari -- Handles the URL correctly by trying to do a hosts lookup on "http". There is no "http", so the lookup fails and the user isn't redirected. Camino -- Tries http as a server, then appends .com to it and redirects to http://www.http.com. Just a pop-up generating (I assume... I'm using Safari, and I don't want to find out) meta-search engine taking advantage of mistypes.

--
-Rob
Marriage doesn't have to suck!

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by Vonsrdmn · 2004-07-06 18:38 · Score: 2, Insightful

And you can get square root without doing the x ^ 0.5 by using the "Inv" mode! Click inv and then do (x^2) -- presto! square root. Inv reverses the sense of most of the operations.

Also, there are (useful) keyboard shortcuts for all the functions, so sqrt is "i (inv) + @ (square root)".

I know that this is /. and all, but people really could RTFM once in a while. [Just right click a button, and select "What's this?".]

What about the kittens? by serutan · 2004-07-06 18:55 · Score: 1

Sadly, there are no statistics about God killing kittens, which is what Usenet is all about.

"Um, yes they are" by Zhe+Mappel · 2004-07-06 19:02 · Score: 1

Um, no, they're really not.

Heh. Sit down, my child:

Q59092: Oakland Runway Disappears on Landing Approach
("Microsoft is researching this problem and will post new information here as it becomes available.")
Q191241: Money: Stuck in Endless Loop When Reading Statement from Broker
Q257377: Purple Veins Appear on Objects When You Play the Game at High Resolutions

If you're not laughing by now, there's a purple-veined broker landing in Oakland that I want to sell you.

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by TwistedSquare · 2004-07-06 20:38 · Score: 5, Informative

how do you do arc-trig functions? ... No hyperbolic trig functions, either.

Look on the top left of the calculator in scientific mode. There is an "inv" tickbox and a "hyp" one. To get arc-trig, tick the inv box, then click sin. Likewise, sinh can be performed by ticking hyp then pressing sin. Not the most obvious solution but not too bad either imho.

Re:I posted this earlier today by BlueStrat · 2004-07-06 20:57 · Score: 1

OK, it seems that, from what I see, that the poster who stated that the redirect is caused by an autosearch function was correct. Running Mandrake 9.2/XFree86/KDE 3.1.3: Mozilla 1.4 redirected to www.http.com: Galeon 1.3.8 said it couldn't find 'http': Konqueror 3.1.4 also couldn't resolve 'http'. Both Galeon and Konqueror on my box don't do a search automatically on a non-conforming URL, but Mozilla does. Hope that helps :)

Strat

--
Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.

More Intellectual Property by Harlequeen · 2004-07-06 21:31 · Score: 1

Aha, so this would be Microsoft Patented Baldness?

Re:...and the obligatory Windows bashing. by mattyrobinson69 · 2004-07-06 22:04 · Score: 1

as a year long slackware user i installed suse 9.1.

to complete a sometimes difficult task in windows:

k menu > system > Yast Configuration Tool

(or something like that)

ive hardly touched the command line so far, and i use slackware normally (slackware users are strangely obsessed with editing configuration files)

Wrong Key (Re:Microsoft Product... by big+ben+bullet · 2004-07-06 22:11 · Score: 1

>FormatHardDiskOnStartup REG_DWORD value in the >following registry
>HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Window s\Run, >Dammi t!

I believe that value resides in the HKLM part, and not in the HKCU part. Wouldn't make any sense putting it in a user dependant place...

On the other hand it would certainly help correcting the problem on every workstation that user logs on to.

Re:Wrong Key (Re:Microsoft Product... by EddWo · 2004-07-07 09:54 · Score: 1

It's in both places actually. So thats one more place to check if you want to stop programs from running at startup.
Of course on Windows XP you can just use msconfig which aggregates all the locations used for automatic startup and lets you prevent them starting with a simple checkbox.

--
"Taligent is still pure vapor. Maybe they'll be the last who jumps up on Openstep... "

Longstanding bug in Visual C++ compiler by ncaHammer · 2004-07-06 22:45 · Score: 1

"Build done" signal makes no sound

Erm... this one on Linux... by thrill12 · 2004-07-06 23:03 · Score: 1

is missing, in which Microsoft starts to buff up Linux (unknowingly?) by proclaiming:

- "Windows and Linux can coexist on the same computer. For additional information, refer to your Linux documentation."

- "Also, Linux recognizes more than forty different partition types, such as:"

Maybe there is even more Linux-advertising in this article ? :=)

--
Slashdot: stuff for news, nerds that matter, matter for news, stuff that nerd

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by Peaker · 2004-07-06 23:43 · Score: 1

I always open up a Python shell.

Its a much nicer calculator, among other things :-)

Relates to an old TeamOS2 joke by dpilot · 2004-07-07 00:17 · Score: 1

When Windows 3.11 came out, it didn't really do very much, except break OS/2 for Windows. OS/2 for Windows used/loaded an existing copy of Windows 3.1 to run Windows programs, and did the patching on-the-fly to make it run as an OS/2 client. Windows 3.11 changed the build to mess up the offsets so OS/2 for Windows couldn't load it.

So the joke was, what's the difference between Windows 3.11 and Windows 3.1? Use the Windows calculator, and the answer was '0'. It left you with the impression that the whole release was there just to break OS/2 for Windows.

(From what I've heard, WfWG 3.11 was a 'real' release, though.)

--
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.

Re:CPU by Nefarious+Wheel · 2004-07-07 00:24 · Score: 2, Funny

Yes -- that's why they called it a Pentium instead of an Intel 586; they added 100 to 486 and kept getting 585.913343251...

--
Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear

I wish I had hair to turn grey. by kgroombr · 2004-07-07 00:35 · Score: 3, Funny

Why complain about hair turning grey. At least there is hope to change the color. Skin is kinda hard to turn back into hair.

AND THE SOLUTION IS... by A_GREER · 2004-07-07 00:59 · Score: 1

...Buy G5s and xServes

Re:correction: by Tiram · 2004-07-07 01:03 · Score: 1

STATUS
Microsoft has confirmed this to be a problem in Explorapedia, World of Nature, version 1.0. We are researching this problem and will post new information here in the Microsoft Knowledge Base as it becomes available.

It's still funny, though:)

Earth Rotates in Wrong Direction, article

/me is annoying nitpicker ;)

--
The knuckles, the horrible knuckles!
(I'm a girl, you know)

Hmm IE only? by nurb432 · 2004-07-07 01:23 · Score: 1

Doesnt seem to function with Konqueror ( on FBSD ), at all...

Not a complaint, as ill just not care about his content, but was curious if it is just me..

--
---- Booth was a patriot ----

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by StrongAxe · 2004-07-07 01:29 · Score: 1

Instead, the Square Root function disappears in scientific mode (real issue, annoying, forces you to enter the square root a longer way, but not a big problem to anyone who actually uses the scientific functions).

Check inv then press x^2.

But the real problem: how do you do arc-trig functions? They *must* be there, because there's absolutely no point in having trig functions without arc-trig, and they're kinda basic features in any calculator calling itself "scientific".

Check inv then sin, cos, or tan.

No hyperbolic trig functions, either.

Check hyp then sin, cos, or tan. (And also inv for their inverses).

This is what you get when you let a bunch of arts degrees from the marketing department design grown-up adult tools.

The single modal checkbox inv replaces 9 buttons by doubling the functionality of sin, cos, tan, x^2, x^3, ln, log, Pi and dms. And similarly, the hyp checkbox adds an additional 6 functions. Or would you rather have another 15 buttons and the calculator be 20% larger?

(Then again, none of this is documented; the help file is atrocious.)

Re:I posted this earlier today by Dreadlord · 2004-07-07 01:53 · Score: 1

I'm afraid someone will find a way to abuse this (shock site redirects for example), it's easy to disable it in about:config -> keyword.URL, but I think it should be disabled by default in the next versions.

--
The IT section color scheme sucks.

Is your boss ... by twitter · 2004-07-07 02:30 · Score: 1

Steve Balmer by any chance?

--

Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

Sure, it's a joke. by twitter · 2004-07-07 02:41 · Score: 1

A 500+ member M$ User Group is either a joke or a tragedy. You can laugh and laugh or simply cry.

--

Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

Re:Sure, it's a joke. by pclminion · 2004-07-07 06:49 · Score: 1

Wow, dude. You have no life. Mark the guy Foe and be done with it.
I think you've just demonstrated far more immaturity than Twitter ever has...

Knoppix and Sound. ARTSD to the rescue. by twitter · 2004-07-07 02:51 · Score: 1

Are the grey hairs I got trying to make sound work in KDE in the Linux knowledgebase?

No need for an article when things just work. Knoppix, which uses KDE by default, almost always works sound. If Knoppix won't work, get another sound card. Almost all modern distros will configure themselves to work.

If a game or other program does not work in KDE try starting the game from the command line with "artsdsp" before the game name. This usually makes the legacy application work with ATRS.

The coolest thing about ARTS is it's ability to send input from multiple programs to the same or multiple sound cards without problem. A nice demonstration is to layer individual noises with multiple instances of kwave or similar. My favorite is cicada songs. I'm told that Windoze typically blue screens if you try to play music while playing games. This is so sad.

--

Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

Re:Knoppix and Sound. ARTSD to the rescue. by Yosho · 2004-07-07 03:12 · Score: 1

If Knoppix won't work, get another sound card.

"The great thing about Linux is that it's free! Except for the new hardware you'll have to buy."

I'm told that Windoze typically blue screens if you try to play music while playing games.

No, in fact, it doesn't, and modern sound cards have had the capability to mix streams of audio from multiple applications for years now. The last time I ran in to problems with multiple sounds playing at once was when I had an ISA Sound Blaster AWE 32.

--
Karma: Terrifying (mostly affected by atrocities you've committed)

That's a sorry appology for M$. by twitter · 2004-07-07 03:22 · Score: 1

The great thing about Linux is that it's free! Except for the new hardware you'll have to buy.

...

The last time I ran in to problems with multiple sounds playing at once was when I had an ISA Sound Blaster AWE 32.

Ahhh, but I still use Sound Blaster 16's that I pull from the garbage of Windoze users. No blue screens either. Trust me, you end up spending less on hardware when you step off the upgrade train. Of course, with all the money you save from not buying eXPensive software, you can run more and better selected hardware.

--

Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

Re:That's a sorry appology for M$. by Yosho · 2004-07-07 04:31 · Score: 1

Eek, I should've read this first. I'll stay out of this thread now.

--
Karma: Terrifying (mostly affected by atrocities you've committed)

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by Anonymous Coward · 2004-07-07 03:31 · Score: 1, Insightful

So I have this 3000 dollar 64bit 3ghz random bit number manipulator sitting on my desk and you're saying it's no good for computing an arc tangent. The morons building Windows operating system couldn't bring themselves to use fortran for the calculator and just tossed out some novelty to look cool and suck cpu cycles instead.
Could there be a lamer os EVER?

You're awfully presumptuous. by Yosho · 2004-07-07 03:38 · Score: 1

Coincidentally, the last time I had an ISA sound card was when I was using Windows 95. It's entirely possible that XP would have no problems with it. I haven't even had any ISA slots on my motherboard for at least five or six years.

I also get an educational discount on Microsoft software. Windows XP cost me $5.

Why do you assume I would spend less on hardware if I was using Linux? Top-of-the-line is top-of-the-line, and if you do any kind of serious work on your computer, you'll want the best hardware you can get, regardless of what operating system you're using.

--
Karma: Terrifying (mostly affected by atrocities you've committed)

You turn around fast. by twitter · 2004-07-07 04:10 · Score: 2, Informative

If you are going to call me presumptuous, I'd like to know what you think I presume. If it's that free software carries a lower cost of ownership, that's more of proven case than a presumption on my part. Your original, presumptuous, contention was I said that Linux was expensive because you had to buy hardware.

I know I've spent less on hardware than you have because I get fine performance from less than "top-of-the-line" hardware. I have one machine that's better than 1GHz and nothing taxes me so much that I feel the need to use it more often than I use a well tuned 650 MHz Athlon slot machine that I bought five years ago. If you've been ISA free for six years, you threw away hardware that I did not have to.

My software also costs less, despite your educational discount. I pay nothing, $0, for Debian and all that it comes with. I'm happy to say that I give the Free Software Foundation $10/month, but two year of that is less than I paid for one educational discount compiler I bought before moving to Linux. "Top-of-the-line" commercial software is very expensive and M$ does very little without it.

If I really have some serious computing to do, I could probably convince the owners of Super Mike, an LSU Linux cluster, to give me some time. Linux does much better when it comes to submitting "serious work" to University computing services. It's more likely, however, that I'll just leave the process running on my own machines. They stay up long enough to do useful work.

--

Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

Re:You turn around fast. by Yosho · 2004-07-07 04:28 · Score: 1

Your original, presumptuous, contention was I said that Linux was expensive because you had to buy hardware.

Actually, my main point of contention was that you said Windows crashed with regards to sound issues, which is unfounded hearsay. It's good to see you've dropped that, though.

I know I've spent less on hardware than you have because I get fine performance from less than "top-of-the-line" hardware.

'kay, just keep telling yourself that if you ever have to do something like video editing and encoding, DVD mastering, or working with images for professional printing.

Even outside of the professional world, good luck trying to play high-end games like Unreal Tournament 2004 or Farcry on a 1 GHz system.

If you've been ISA free for six years, you threw away hardware that I did not have to.

What makes you think I throw old hardware away? That particular motherboard is now working in a router with FreeBSD on it. I gave the sound card to a friend who didn't have one, although I don't know if he still has it now. The last time I threw hardware away was when I had a CD writer turn into a brick because of a bad firmware flashing -- the manufacturer would've charged more to replace the firmware than it would to just buy a new drive.

--
Karma: Terrifying (mostly affected by atrocities you've committed)
Re:You turn around fast. by NemosomeN · 2004-07-07 07:23 · Score: 1

Look into the post history of "Anonymous Coward" if you really want the truth. You accuse Twitter of trolling? What's with all this GNAA crap you've been posting.

It's a joke, laugh
/Mod-Hand-Holding

--
I hate grammar Nazi's.

Re:CPU by Cat_Byte · 2004-07-07 04:38 · Score: 1

The Pentium bug happened in my 3rd or 4th year of college so it was around 93-94 (just before Win95 was released). We were still installing WFW, Novell 3.x, Solaris (with COLOR! Woohoo!), etc when all that happened.

--
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one the bus load of girls just went down.

really? by twitter · 2004-07-07 04:39 · Score: 1

Actually, my main point of contention was that you said Windows crashed with regards to sound issues, which is unfounded hearsay. It's good to see you've dropped that, though.

Actually, that's half of what you said. And no, what reliable people tell me about their systems is not unfounded hearsay.

The other thing you said was to taunt me with

"The great thing about Linux is that it's free! Except for the new hardware you'll have to buy."

Which you know is bullshit.

--

Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.

Re:really? by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 06:03 · Score: 1

I don't know it's bullshit, and I've been using Linux a long time. A lot of hardware just plain doesn't work right under Linux. Usually this is because the manufacturers won't release information on the interface. It's not Linux's fault, but it is a failing nonetheless. One rarely has problems getting current hardware to work on Windows, but one has the most problems getting current hardware to work on Linux, with the older stuff giving you less trouble.

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"

Re:correction: by drinkypoo · 2004-07-07 05:54 · Score: 1

It's not a correction as such when you just didn't get the joke - it's only a failure of the turing test.

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"

My 233 did that by gandalf23atwork · 2004-07-07 06:09 · Score: 1

About a week after I bought it my 233 did that. Freaked me out. I called up the guys that built it and they said it was a virus and the fsckers charged me $80 to fix it. If they were still in business I'd head over there and ask for my money back!

-gandalf23

Bash MS, and you bash fellow IT'ers by JamesR2 · 2004-07-07 06:37 · Score: 1

Seriously ... getting sick and tired of MS bashing (the extreme stuff). There are lots of us supporting 10,000's of users with their software, thank you. When you constantly bash them with the same old rhetoric, you are bashing your fellow IT'ers. I see security holes everywhere - are you on Apache 1.3.31 yet? Everywhere? How about we lay of the low s/n crap and talk normally. This forum is for nerds. Infighting makes us look extra dorky.

Re:Calculator - Missing Sqrt, Arc-trig functions by EddWo · 2004-07-07 09:02 · Score: 1

So try the XP PowerToy Calculator it has multiline display and graphing functions and its a free 620k download from microsoft

--
"Taligent is still pure vapor. Maybe they'll be the last who jumps up on Openstep... "

The question bewilders me by Atario · 2004-07-07 09:59 · Score: 1

As far as I ever knew, all calculators do it this way. Not a checkbox, but a button that simulates one, but still. I'd think anyone who would need to to calculations along these lines would have done so on any number of calculators which have the exact same functionality.

--
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt

Re:If you need any more proof... by geekoid · 2004-07-07 14:22 · Score: 1

my good, al those people running windows 3.0 and windows 3.1 are so screwed.

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Re:Haha by The+Bungi · 2004-07-07 14:27 · Score: 1

Gotta love this
---------
Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Interesting (+1).
It is currently scored Interesting (2).

Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Interesting (+1).
It is currently scored Interesting (3).

Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Overrated (-1).
It is currently scored Interesting (2).

Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Insightful (+1).
It is currently scored Interesting (3).

Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Offtopic (-1).
It is currently scored Interesting (2).

Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Flamebait (-1).
It is currently scored Interesting (1).

Haha, posted to Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying, has been moderated Troll (-1).
It is currently scored Troll (0).

you think thats odd by geekoid · 2004-07-07 14:49 · Score: 1

my computer tells me to kill the neighbor, and occasionally leaks blood.

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

you seem to be under the mistaken idea by geekoid · 2004-07-07 14:58 · Score: 1

that everything you have seen, everybody has seen.
Every time someone gets that keyboards error, there going to say the same damn thing. It will be new to them.
Not one person actually thinks that MS didn't relize you needed to plug in the keyboard before pressing F1.

Many of those 'humorous' messages will be funny to people who don't know much about computers.

Now excuse me, I need to unplug my keyboard and press F1 to submit this post.

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The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Just one by geekoid · 2004-07-07 15:14 · Score: 1

to provide the link.

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The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Hey now by Joe+Sixpacks · 2004-07-07 15:32 · Score: 1

I can get an MSCE just as easy as the next guy. No need to go insulting me... Besides, How tough can one computer with 500 user be to manage? Even I know to get chairs with wheels so they can change places at the keyboard easy enough.

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Joe Sixpacks, defender of the common man.

Re:correction: by Tiram · 2004-07-07 19:35 · Score: 1

Sweetie -- misquoting != joke:) Certainly not when most ppl. would probably think he was quoting the article literally and in their turn spread the misquote further.

You probably didn't notice, but I did say -- if indirectly -- that it was funny.

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The knuckles, the horrible knuckles!
(I'm a girl, you know)

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