Slashdot Mirror
How To Make Friends on the Telephone
Dan writes "What a wonderful find--it seems since the internet, we've forgotten the correct way to communicate with people. So here is a book to teach us the proper etiquette, as well as how to handle complex modern communications devices."
By a fucking ad and support slashdot instead of posting it as a story please.
talking over the phone, via e-mail is not as clear cut as body language
as well as how to handle complex modern communications devices
/. , if people here don't already know how to handle these things, who knows?
Dude, this is
The IT section color scheme sucks.
Looks like we will have to phone the webmaster and tell him he will soon been /.ed.
Whats the proper way to do that?
do u no if u can d/l it?
I'll be sure to use this with Stanaphone PC to Phone program or my VoIP. Doh!
Nice article there - it was to look over the pamphlet and retrospect about how far we've come communication-wise in the past few decades. We can communicate more effectively, work more productively, and get information faster.
But I cannot say the same for the improvement in social life that technology has brought about. Sure, we have IM now, I can videoconference with my folks back home halfway across the world without paying a penny, but has it really *improved* my social life? I don't think so.
IMHO, we communicate better with people we need to (at work) and family/friends, but we don't really end up making more friends (I won't go so far as to credit Orkut groups/etc as friends). If anything, we're spending more time in front of our screens sending and accessing messages (communicating) at the cost of social interaction.
Maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling it's true for a lot of folks especially those around here.
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
or we could phone him and let him know his server was on fire.
this is slashdot, people here don't have friends, telephones are made for modems
prank calls are pretty much all I use a phone for nowdays. Anything important gets logged via email or some propritary messaging service the company gives out so theres no claiming you never saw/heard it or any ambigutiy in the wording. The only real use phones have is long distance talking to significant others where you want to try to get some personal touch in via voice but nowdays a webcam and voice over ip is the way to go. I don't even have long distance phone service at my house, for the few long distance calls I do make long distance I just use one of the 10-10+code series of deals.
The telephone has always been a useful tool to the tech savvy. Of course it helps to be nice on the telephone. Maybe you'd even get a date out of it?
4 71 237124/qid=1089485803/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/002-37092 70-9869657?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
The Art of Deception: Controlling the Human Element of Security
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0
...ought to write a guide to prank phone calls, updated and accurate for caller ID, etc.
BLING BLING. Meet the architecture that's changing everything.
What's a "telephone"? Is it like VoIP
Aside from the prevalence of automated attendants, I've noticed that many human operators don't seem to know how to answer with a warm greeting, ask for information, put people on hold correctly, or bridge a call to the right person.
I've become better at handling phones simply by listening to what these people are doing wrong, and using that as a basis for improving my own phone skills.
But on the other end as a caller, I've found it helpful to announce myself at the beginning of the call, instead of having them ask me for my name. And also to have as much information ready as possible, and present it before I'm asked, IE account numbers, customer numbers, MAC address of cable modems, etc.
Just wondering.
I know a lot of Slashdotters are in school, so listen up and let Unc' Jim tell you something that you'll need to know in the real world, with, like, a job and stuff:
When you are at work, in your office or cubicle or whatever, and the telephone rings, and you answer it...under NO circumstances is it appropriate for the first word out of your mouth to be "Hello?"
Work is not home. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
Learn to spell: nickel, missile, lose, solely, amendment, speech, kernel, probably, ridiculous, deity, hierarchy, versus
As a geek with a girlfriend, I can say the phone is critical. While IM is usefull for large numbers of people, the phone is better for personal conversations where voice inflection has more meaning.
And asking someone out on IM is just bad.
What makes you think this isn't exactly what's going on? Story placement is a *big* part of any PR department's job...
I learned my phone skills in the military. But telemarketers who ignore the do-not-call list have forced me into a corner. Now, I simply hang up on them rather than waste more than 10 seconds on trying to be polite. I feel for the person on the other end who is often just some low wage person trying to make a living, but that's not my problem.
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
People from other offices at work call and the first words out of their mouth are "Who is this?". I was taught that you identify yourself, then ask for person you want to talk to.
The hardest thing about a phone conversation is trying to figure out how to pronounce "pwn3d!"
Setec Astronomy
It all depends on the presence of modern technology. If there is an answering machine, you're not likely to get more than 5 rings before it comes in. If the target is a cell phone it's probably in the person's pocket and easy to reach. However, if it's a land line with no answering machine, the person you're calling could be on the other side of the house or in the bathroom. Give them 10 seconds to run desperately to the phone only to find you hung up just before they reached it, and they don't have caller id or *whatever to call you back, and you fail it at the telephone. Clearly the manual needs an update to take new technologies into account.
I agree, whoever drew the retarded pencil steps is a dick. Who does that? PEOPLE WHO VIOLATE THE HANDBOOK ON HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH USEFUL INFORMATION AND PENCILS THATS WHO!
Additionally you fail it at the internet because you're supposed to load all the pages at once before reading them. That shouldn't take more than a minute on this site. You can even detect the patterns in the url and enter them manually if the site takes too long to load individual pages that have the next buttons. However it is agreed that they are, in fact, motherfuckers and their actions are "Nice going" in the sense of being totally gay. You should demand a refund. I bet none of the editors, not even Cowboyneal, could make friends on the telephone.
So you're telling me I shouldn't answer the phone by saying:
WTF do you want?
Someone tell the telemarketers that. It's very simple. Don't sound like you're a robot reading a script and if I say "No, I am not interested" that means that I am not interested in continuing the conversation with you.
If I sound irritated, well, I am. For some reason the telemarketers started pestering me and this time they're calling me on my cell phone. Three calls already today. Four calls during the week and they just won't take no for an answer.
The owls are not what they seem
Here's an archive.org snapshot of the first page:
http://web.archive.org/web/20030602171945/http://
I've been working with sales people for a long time, and I've learned a few things about voice mail etiquette:
leave your name, phone number, and a very brief description of what you want FIRST, then go on to any details
leave your return number SLOW ENOUGH THAT SOMEONE CAN WRITE IT DOWN. I can't tell you how many people actually SPEED UP TO AUCTION CALLER SPEEDS when leaving their number. If I have to play your number back five times to get it, I'm not going to bother. A good tip is to write your number down on scrap paper as you say it.
if your name is hard to spell, SPELL IT. Or at least say it SLOWLY.
Also, what's with people making phone calls from the public toilet? When I was at WWDC this year, I saw tons of people doing this, usually they were european. (No pun intended, but it's tempting.) Is this a cultural thing that I as an american don't understand? Seems to me the sound of background flushing would be a bit off-putting to a co-worker or potential customer.
- "When you want something with all your heart, the entire universe conspires to give it to you" -Paulo Coelho
I'm using the phone more, not less. For example:
.JPG images and a Word Document. They're not pr0n, they're not viruses, and they're not malware from some cretin in China who wants to turn you into a zombie.
.JPG images and a Word document? I want to make sure they're not pr0n, viruses, or malware from some cretin in China who wants to turn me into a zombie.
1) Hey, I'm about to e-mail you three
2) Hi there. I need to fax you the final proposal. I'm not trying to get you to re-finance your mortgage.
3) Did you, by chance, e-mail me three
See? The telephone isn't obsolete at all.
DUCT TAPE: The Election Supervisors' Secret Weapon
If you so much as claim to like a TeeVee show someone else doen't like, that other person will tell you how your taste is all in your feet, your brain cells suffer from some degenerating disease of the mind, you should do disgusting and incetuous things with your mother and/or father and/or unlce, and you are, somehow, the moral equivalent of Hitler, Stalin and Caligula combined.
Although not in so many words. It's usually "Yu fvkin suuk dood!" But the meaning is clearly implied.
People tell me it's the result of free speech and free expression and the tossing of old ways, but that doesn't do much to mitigate the fact that we live immersed in an endless legion of assholes.
--- Ban humanity.
The site is totally slashdotted so I can't RTFA. Tell me someone, is it about telemarketeering as a career alternative to programming?
Mielipiteet omiani - Opinions personal, facts suspect.
Is that because of the punctuation?
Is "Hello" okay? As a statement?
What about "Hello, you've reached Freegeek, this is Matthew speaking, how may I help you today?"
Hopefully I didn't put any [] around my words.
No, I don't make friends with cowards.
http://www.boingboing.net/2004/05/27/1940s_telepho ne_manu.html
Thursday, May 27, 2004
1940s telephone manual
http://contactsheet.org/junk/telephone1.html
I've always replied to anyone who wanted to communicate over the telephone that I'm lost without a modem hooked up to the phone line. "You mean that's not just for hooking up a modem to?"
:)
In a related story, I forget what the program was -- something that you can pop AT commands to directly...but a long time ago, my sister refused to relinquish the line so I did ATA while she was on. Kept the beeeeeeeeep on long enough for her to hang up. And thus began the great phone wars.
As far as real phone manners go, there should be a true syn-ack handshake for it. syn-> phone rings. "Hello, my name is..." terminating with the fin "um...I'm sorry, so in so does not live here anymore" [No Carrier]
Anyone that doesn't follow the protocol shouldn't be allowed to communicate.
No? How about just plain "WHAT!" or "FUCK YOU" and a nice healthy SLAM! Or "DUDE! I'm, like, in the MIDDLE of some serious SHIT. Call back." But not "Hello"? How about "Hi, how are you, I have gas"? I mean, a suggestion as to why "hello" is so bad, or some alternatives might be nice.
Seriously, "Hello" followed by perhaps your name or department is JUST FINE.
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
... smoking.
You see it in '40/'50 movies a lot, but that doesn't mean it's in vogue today.
407-332-4700 btw you want a four bedroom with a 2 car garage... and apartmentguide is where you got the info....
hmm friends? telephone? How can I give a HIGH-FIVE thru the telephone?!!
Puddy: High-Five!
"Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT?"
The owls are not what they seem
This seems to address the professional aspect pretty well, but not really the personal.
Granted, I'm 25 so using the cell to call my friends as we organize a trip to the bars or a round of golf is second nature. So, how do you handle these social things?
First day, didn't know everybody's name. Phone rings, German geezer answers the phone and simply says "tits"!!
Different phone rings, another geezer answers, says what sounded "fuck"!
Me starts to think this is the Stuttgart office of the Tourette's society. Later learn that their names were "Titze" and "Foerch".
Oh, how we laughed.
Ha ha.
I still use the phone to call businesses. Family too. Anyone I can't reach through an IM network.
next time they call to sell you something, tell them you're out of town and won't be back till next week. See what they do with that.
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
A better approach is to let them go through their whole pitch, then say something like: "Hold on, let me get my credit card." Then put them on hold, and ignore them. If they think they've made a sale, they WILL NOT hang up, and will stay on the line for as long as it takes (a friend of mine claims he once strung one of them along for five hours.) And while they're waiting for you, they won't be able to harass other people. Of course, you have to be willing to give up a phone line for the duration of your little game.
instant messengers via wireless networks mostly though I will admit that cell phones have their uses in the social setting. They are also handy in emergencies. Most my friends cell phones do both as they're basically PDAs with voice capability. Since they're digital signals I'm not sure if you count that as VOIP or a "phone"
I've gotten myself in trouble more than once when looking at Internet porn while on the telephone... especially talking to girls.
Tip #1: stay off the computer when on the phone
I hate places that don't answer the phone with something like "Hello". I typed in the phone number, so I already know where I'm calling. I don't need to wait five minutes for you to ramble off the name of your company or similar information I could care less about.
This idea's kind of an anachronism, but it held very true not 25 years ago.
Ma Bell used to charge per phone in the house, so most households had only one phone and one phone line (the rest would disable the ringers on any newer phones so the CO would only see one phone).
At any rate, when you were calling someone, they may have been at the other end of the house or even outside when you called, hence the one minute "rule", to give them time to get to the phone.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
mirror:
http://masonmcd.homeip.net/telephone1.html
My own TiBook on cable. Be gentle.
Hello, Did I get my grammar right there?
Oops! Looks like I said "Hello" is guess it is inappropriate. Were is this shit youa re getting, I will say "Hello?", "What?" and "I'm busy" if I want.
What next, "Sexy swirls: an introduction to smoke signals"?
"5... 4... 3.. 1... OFFBLAST!"
Anyway, I'm a little surprised this on /. As far as I am concerned, phones suck. I use them because I have to. It's a more "instant" form of communication than email provided you manage to get the person you need to speak to on the phone. And it's the standard, as most everyone has either a landline or a cellphone but many (well, let's make that 'some') people still don't have email accounts and/or don't check them regularly.
That being said, I really dislike phones. As far as I am concerned, they're about the rudest form of communication, at least in a business environment. By chosing to make a call instead of emailing the person, you're chosing the easy way out. Basically you prioritize your time over their's. They have to talk to you even though they might be busy or doing something else. In a business environment, there are few people who can just ignore the phone.
By emailing me instead, I could have dealt with your problem on my own terms and allocated time based on my current schedule (that the caller's certainly not aware of), needs and priorities. Should I not see your email in time (which is unlikely since my mail server notifies me of some new emails (procmail is great, isn't it) via text message) you could still call.
That's why I have two cell phones. I use one during business hours, the number is on my business cards and if you call me on it during business hours I will answer, period. The other is my personal phone. It's small enough that I can easily take it everywhere, the number is not listed and only known to family, friends and customers who have expressed that they might need to reach me. Family and friends can call me anytime, no matter what. Same goes for customers, but they have to pay me (depends on the contract but usually I charge tripple) if they need me when I'm off. They're aware of that and don't bother me with trivial problems. If something important comes up, they know how to reach me though. Everybody's happy.
So generally, I do prefer email or text messaging to phone calls. That way, I get to choose who I talk to. As far as I am concerned, it's a lot more polite to email me than to call me at 9 in the morning when I might still be asleep.
That's MY mac address.
The article is slashdotted and I don't see a pointer to a mirror, but based on other people's comments, it sounds like it is a rehash of '50s rules and ettiquette and if it isn't how does it respond to questions like:
1. If you have call display, is it polite to answer the phone with the caller's name? I couple of years ago, this freaked people out, now it's very common. Older people tend to think of this as an invasion of privacy; but these same people consider it acceptable to have a peephole on their door and only open it to people they know.
2. What about call answer? Should you take the incoming call and how long should you be on it before returning to the original call? What happens if you consider the second call to be more important than the first?
3. Is call screening using an answering machine polite?
4. I give telemarketers one chance to hang up before I slam the receiver down on them. Is this polite or should I listen to their pitch? Can I blow a Fox-40 whistle into the receiver?
5. What are cell phone rules? Is it acceptable to have a social call while in line at the supermarket? What about a heated business call?
I suspect that a lot of these answers are based on how old you are and what your workplace experience is.
Enquiring minds want to know!
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
Sounds like a better title for this book would be "Social Engineering for Dummies."
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Check out this bit from the Duchess of Ettiquette that explains why the invention of the telephone is rude in and of itself.
I think people were just more isolated, and ignorent of the legions of assholes out there. The 50's were also full of paranoia, too. Politicians like McCarthy fueled fears that Communists were plotting on every streetcorner to hijack America from within. It is only another extreme, that some remember, that the world was full of nice, polite people that would be friendly if only you could communicate with them! If the public had cell phones in the 50's they would run into the same attitudes.
The headline eerily reminded me of that one.
I never tell them who I am at work though. No-one would ever ask for me by name so it avoids them taking the opportunity to quiz me on the health of their relative and instead I can just pass the call on to someone else.
I have also mastered complete ignorance of the noise of the phone, so I can usually out-wait anyone within hearing distance so they answer it first.
This idea was invented by Shampoo.
why is he redundant? only one comment previous to this was mentioned about it!
you have to be kidding, right? You really WANT to know WHY it's bad to ask a woman out over the instant messenger?
Wow, you still live in your moms basement don't you? Holy shazbot!
Excerpt:
Another excerpt:
The shareholder is always right.
Um, so what IS an appropriate first word, besides "Hello" ("Hello?" is not a word, so I'll assume you meant "Hello" - normally I'm not so anal, but since you made a point of being specific about the first word, well...)?
Internet is a proper noun and must be capitalized. It's the Internet, not an internet when talking about the Internet.
Support the First Amendment. Read at -1
Welcome to Slashdot, not "Tea at Mrs. Nessbit's". It only takes one previous comment to qualify as redundant. Don't take it so personally.
Seriously any company that allows programmers and such to answer calls directly from the outside (no secretary or such in between) is wasting resources. It may look like I have time to answer the phone but in reality I am thinking (or sleeping) and being distracted means that I am not only going to have to waste time getting my thoughts on track (or falling asleep again) but you are also allowing your customers to be handled by people whose skills probably are not in communication.
So I would instead teach a different lesson. If the person answering the phone isn't any good at it, don't let them answer the phone.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Who uses a phone? Anyone involved in business and anyone with real friends. A webcam + voice over ip is a phone.
By not having any friends.
Of course, this is when I have a computer handy, and I'm not saying cellphones aren't useful for the road. But even then, I find it more convenient to text someone. Why? Simply because, when using text, via computer or cell, it doesn't require your immediate attention. When I'm on a computer, I can alt-tab and focus on other things, like webpages, games, pr0n, etc. With txtmessaging on cells, you can do the same thing, leave the msg in your inbox and view it later. Of course, there are times and places where audio data is better than visual data, but I still find I have a preference for texts.
And I'm not saying this because I have an aversion to people, I simply prefer to use text via IMs or cellphones or face to face, I hate the phone.
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
One good rule I wish people would follow is simply to know to whom you are speaking before you continue.
We have Direct Inward Dial at work - this means that in addtion to being able to dial the main number, then at the prompt enter an extension, it is also possible to dial a different number and get an extension directly - so if my extension was 123, you could dial ###-#123 where the #'s are a fixed prefix.
Now, for the sales guys this is great, but for me it sucks, since I generally don't need to talk to anybody directly, and I'd rather they have to dial the main number and my extension if they want to reach me - I have systems to design, code to write and debug, work to do!
So, when I answer the phone directly, it is simply "Engineering, this is (name)". If you really are trying to reach me, you will know you have the right number and can continue. Hopefully, if this is the WRONG number, you will clue into that and check - "Excuse me, but I was trying to read Edith's Toenail service, do I have the correct number?"
Thursday the phone rigs the "outside line" ring, and I answer it - I am having a bunch of work done on my house and it might have been one of the contractors. I give my usual answer, "Engineering, this is (name)".
And this gal starts in - "This is (name) and my son is (name) and he had his thing stolen at school and " and so on for a good 15 seconds at a mile a minute before I get a chance to break in. "Excuse me miss, but you have the wrong number." "This isn't XYZ school?" "No ma'am" "What number is this" (Now, I happen to feel this is improper ettiquette - IMHO she should have said "Is this ###-####" - she does not need to know what number this is, only if this is the number she was trying to dial) "No ma'am, this is %%%-%%%%" (the main number, not my D.I.D. number) "Oh, I have the wrong number (click)".
Beat.
Beat.
Ra-Ring.
(sigh)
"(Full company name) this is (name) can I help you?" "I have the wrong number again - is this ^^^-^^^^" "No, ma'am, this is ^^^-^^**" (Last 2 digits wrong) "Oh, I'm sorry (click)"
Now, the point of this story is that, upon first hearing something that was NOT "XYZ school", she SHOULD have said, "Excuse me, but I am trying to reach XYZ school, do I have the right number?" rather than launching into her life's story.
I'm sure she was upset by whatever was happening in her life, but she told me things that not only did I not CARE to hear, but were pretty damn personal - all because she did not confirm the identity of the person with whom she was speaking.
Of course, we live in a society that will blindly fill in whatever forms J.Random.URL asks - I should expect no different for the telephone.
www.eFax.com are spammers
You don't consider it an error detection mechanism?
I suppose you customize your router to avoid doing CRC?
I'm not surprised that your friend was female; they do tend to have a lot more tact than males...
we know how to use devices, how about teaching us how to communicate in person, and have the other person believe we're not weird without putting up a front.
maybe that's an oxymoron?
Yeah - you know, I've experienced the same thing a few times, and to be honest, it's totally contradictory to the way I do things myself. I've always felt like anyone who takes the time to physically show up at my door for social reasons is making the "ultimate effort" to spend some time with me.
If I'm on the phone when someone unexpectedly drops in, I give the visitor preference over my phone call. Only if I already have other company over do I have to give things more thought - and then I try my best to split my time between the visitors, if possible.
But I've had friends in the past who practically slammed the door in my face when I dropped by, telling me basically "What the h*ll is your problem? Call me before you just show up here!" Quite frankly, those people quickly lost rank in my list of people I considered friends.
If I did drop by someone's house without calling, it's probably either A) because I was in the area anyway, and it just made sense, or B) because I had an emergency of some sort. I'm not too dense to take a hint and leave quickly if it's obvious I'm interrupting something important - but I at least expect people to be gracious/polite about it.
Question on the phone:
"heyyyyy, whatch doin?" translation: "I wanna fuck, you free now?"
Answer A:
"nuthin" translation: "yea, get your ass over here."
Answer B:
"I call you later okay?" translation, I wanna fuck you, but I'm fucking someone else right now...
Answer C:
"Oh, it's you." Translation: "No"
Answer D:
"Ahahah! You're so funny." translation: I'd love to fuck, just not you...
"Piter, too, is dead."
The webmaster will find out when his mom asks him about the smoke pouring out from his bedroom closet.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
Where I work, there is no phone policy, but we usually answer something like this: Good (morning|afternoon), , how may I help you Or sometimes , , how may I help you Our receptionist answers with nothing more than .
In the Detroit area, one of the suburban area codes (248-xxx-xxxx) is 248.
At Ford headquarters, one of the local city exchanges is 248. (xxx-248-xxxx).
Whenever anyone from downtown Detroit tries to call someone from the suburbs with a 248 area code, and doesn't dial a "1" to indicate a long distance call, they get some unhappy engineer at Ford.
It usually goes something like this:
*ring* Ford employee notices local number on Caller ID they don't recognize...
"Ford Motor Co. this is xxxx"
*In very strong urban accent* "Is Tiniqua there?"
"Excuse me? This is For-"
"If you don't put Tiniqua on the phone, some shit is goin' down. Who the f*** are you, cracka?"
"This isn't who you tried to dial. This is For-"
"WHAT? You sayin' I stu-pid too? I can't dial no phone? I don't think so. That's it! I'm comin' down there to find out where tha hell she is!"
*click* *sigh*
*true story*
That sounds a bit more like a greeting for those who actually expect to help someone when they answer the phone. I'm not sure if it makes sense for most people.
Depending on the mood, it's either, "Give me the love, baby!" or, "Stifling black hole sucking the joy out of life, how may I help you?"
assuming there is a 7 year statute of limitations... I had in my office a mysterious phone socket, which didn't seem to generate a telelphone bill. This was long before caller id, so I had no way of finding out the number, so I used that one for outgoing calls and my own for incoming.
A side effect of this is that every incoming call on the mystery line was a wrong number. Following my high standards of telephone etiquette, I started off politely greeting callers with "Hello, this is the wrong number.", which (despite being factual, formal, polite and clear english) seemed to baffle the vast majority of callers.
Responses varied from polite confusion, through stubborn insistence that I must either BE the person the other party wanted to speak to or at least able but unwilling to put me though to them, all the way to someone who called 10 times in as many minutes asking for "Dave", getting more annoyed each time. On the 10th call I said "OK, you win this is Dave, what do you want?", at which point he hung up on me.
After a while I got bored with politeness and switched to making prank answers (like prank calls, but the other way round), the objective of which was to keep a straight face while cracking everyone else in the office up. The most successful of these was 'dial-a-duck', the premium rate porn service for duck fetishists, which involved answering the phone with "Hi, welcome to Dial-a-Duck", and then carring on the resulting conversation using only the word "quack", in as seductive a manner as possible.
A pizza of radius z and thickness a has a volume of pi z z a
Actually, putting the question mark after the word indicates that it's to be spoken with rising inflection, as opposed to the blandness of "Hello."
That said, the appropriate thing to say depends on where you work. On a shop floor, for example, you might opt for "Shop floor, this is Joe." In a technical office kind of environment, quickly state your organization and name, e.g., "Mergers and acquisitions, Floyd Smith." Perhaps your name is irrelevant, so you go with "Elton Electricians, how can I help you?" If you're your own boss, the name alone can suffice: "Jeff Smith."
The key thing is to answer the phone with a brief greeting that immediately lets the caller know if he's reached the place/person he was after. "Hello" with or without question mark fails to do so.
Learn to spell: nickel, missile, lose, solely, amendment, speech, kernel, probably, ridiculous, deity, hierarchy, versus
Why in the blazes would I want to learn the proper etiquette to use on the blasted phone?!? I have idiots (yes, I call them idiots intentionally) who seem to regard my phone as a tool for *their* convience, not mine. They will call up and fall into one of five catagories - advice (I don't give free advice, I do give free bad advice though. Will that do?), me to buy something (If I find you you'll regret it), my opinion on your ##@%!^# survey (and why should I give a #!#% about your survey), or relatives (most of whom have learned not to call me at work, ever), customers (I don't want your life story, nor how it happened, nor your pathetic excuse of why it isn't your fault, nor your amusing fallible logic of what you want me to do about it, nor endless whining. I want the problem in 10 words or less. Most problems can be stated in this many words. If I need clarification I will ask further questions. Don't think, just follow my directions. I can probably fix your problem. Fear me, because I do hate and despise you Mr Customer, and I have enough authority to assure that if you tick me off then your little problem with get worse, and will never get fixed.), and superior-powers-that-be (my boss, government officials, landlord, police (gosh officer, I really can't remember anything about that customer, and I have no idea how he got a Gizmo3000 shoved up one nostril.) - with superiors my goal is to figure out how to satisfy their question as quickly as possible, and to endure whatever they need to talk about.).
Why do I feel this way? Because everyone treats the phone as their little toy. They feel nothing about picking up the phone and calling. Let's face it. These are the 2000s people. We are busy . Everyone who cared enough about every customer and every problem, and the 100% satisfaction do-bee employee found their productivity numbers falling in the 90s and got laid off. The only people who are left are the result-oriented grumps. Don't be mistaken if you see us smiling, or smiles in our voices. Grumps are very good at smiling (mussssst not sssscare the preciousssss potential cusssstomerssssss, my precioussssss). Most people think nothing about picking up the phone and calling me for a tiny problem. The customer doesn't realize that I'm usually already working on some problem on a computer, typing up your problem, speaking to you, and working on odd bits of paperwork that's in my in-bin. There are four customers on hold in the phone queue trying to get hold of me. Do you really expect me to hand hold you through why your wireless lan laptop doesn't work when you drive away from your home wireless router??
Proper communication nowdays is email. Email is lovely. I can ignore the unworthy email. I can usually handle an question related email a lot faster than any phone conversation. Another plus is that it is hard to whine, wheedle, and squeeze goodies via email (Can't you just sort of, um, extend, that warrenty a little). Best of all, email is semi-permanent. It can be forwarded, bcc'ed, and used for evidence that you are a lying, cheating little turnip.
Go ahead, mod me insensitive.
how our group of developers is supposed to have a meeting with our customer's group of developers? I'm ginuinely curious how you would do this, since apparently you don't need to.
Email? Not real time, and not responsive, and everybody trying to "talk" at once. There are times when a linear flow of information is best, not the fractal branching of subthreads that's almost inevitable in large email conversations.
Text messaging? Yah, whatever. Like email, only with typos because everybody's trying to type in a hurry, and single-sentence lag because the other person isn't done talking yet.
Face to face? It'd be nice, but both groups are spread over seven time zones.
Conference calls are alive and well, and not "the rudest form of communication" by any means.
As for the "logging" thing, one guy types in notes in a wiki or something, then slaps a "meeting minutes" label at the end. Done. :-)
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
If -- as I was taught, for business contexts -- you answer the phone with some statement including your name, then they wouldn't have to ask.
Now, if you do that, and they simply ask for somebody else without identifying themselves, then hey, read 'em the riot act, because they're still rude.
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
Sometimes "hello" is the appropriate way to answer the phone. You may be working for an organization that has security concerns about volunteering information to callers. An unknown caller does not need to know your name or the name of your department/organization.
Mea navis aericumbens anguillis abundat
I like Alexander Graham Bell's use of "Ahoy! Ahoy!" to answer the telephone. Sadly, it never caught on.
Mea navis aericumbens anguillis abundat
I've always operated on similar principles, both at work and at home. In general, I give my attention to people in order of how much effort they exerted to be talking to me. So, in person trumps phone which trumps IM or email, etc. If you're standing in person in my office and the phone rings, I will NOT answer it. However, I'm amazed how many people will answer the phone when I'm in the middle of talking to them, even if they don't know who it is. I've always hated that.
I've always considered this principle to be common courtesy.
The Glass is Too Big: My Take on Things
"Glub Glub Mo-blon!" :D
[http://contactsheet.org/junk/telephone3.html]
why not find a decent long-distance service that doesn't charge a monthly fee and doesn't rip you off with highly inflated taxes. Not to mention rates that are probably less than your pet 10-10 number. Something like bigredwire. And I don't work for them, and I won't get any kickbacks for a referral. How often do you see an unsolicited referral like that?
Isn't it ironic that the cover looks like a call girl
Do your best, hope for the best, suspect the worst.
"Arranging dates" is one thing, but asking someone out or any kind of heavily emotional conversation is best done in person (or *maybe* over the phone).
And I disagree with your assertion that success with girls is all about what you say. In my experience, what I say is practically irrelevant. The most important aspect is body language: relax, look them in the eye, be attentive, have a non-threatening posture. If you master body language then it doesn't really matter what you say, because the mark will interpret what you say positively (subconsciously drawing context from your posture). This even carries a bit over the phone since your voice sounds slightly different depending on your posture and mood.
IM conversations are more tricky, because the person will fill in the missing context from the environment around them (Well, that assumes they already know you. If they don't know you at all [or are really desperate], they're more likely to be optimistic). This makes it rather difficult to predict the responses even with a lengthy calibration conversation.
Of course this is only true for the short term. The long term effects are more dependent on what you say (but that's outside of my area of expertise).
this article/site has 2600 written all over it
As a white guy, I find those 50's caricatures of "people" to be every bit as insulting and racist as the old black and white cartoon "monkeys"
It must be that they are dealing with you on their own time, or maybe just ignoring you all together.
Email is a cop out when you don't have the guts to talk to the person.
This text is an instructional manual on proper telephone manners for secretaries, customer service personnel, and anyone else who must use a telephone as part of their job.
It's worth noting that many of these not only hold true today, but that they're still taught to people today. I once picked up such a manual after I got my first technical support job, so many years ago.
"No problem. I have the capacity to do infinite work so long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero."-Dilbert
Danny DeVito answers the phone:
"Debbie? No, Debbie can't come to the phone right now. She's got my dick in her mouth."
He then hangs up the phone and says "Heh...I love wrong numbers."
KeS
I have been to Ford HQ on many occassions, I have sat at those desks (I was a contractor to Ford, kinda), I have answered those ringing phones.
This happens often enough to get really annoying. It's funny at first, but after the fourth time that day (usually from the same jackass who can't dial a damn phone), it's quite annoying.
Hanging up on them does no good either. They try to call back and misdial it again. It's sad, really.
- Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
I have also come across a Herr Wanke. He works for a British company in Germany so it must of been intersting when London calls and he answers with a "Wanke"
I was to answer the phone at a school once. They wanted me to say (this is Danish, translation follows) "Akademiet for utaemmet kreativitet, det er Simon" ("The academy for untamed creativity, Simon speaking") in less than two seconds. It took a lot of embarrassing attempts before I realized this took some offline practice.
Yeah, they did circus stuff.
There was also a chap called "Dertwinkel", which sounded shockingly like "dirty winkle".
Not really, given that "Wanke" is pronounced "Vahnke"
They are of the suck.
Obviously it is them who did this to the world.
I read it somewhere and now it's gospel.
When you've worked helpdesk for six years plus, taking thousands on thousands of calls, all from people who have phoned because they want something, your response to genuine personal calls can be, shall we say, slightly distorted.
*ring*
Pick up phone, brain automatically presents helpdesk spiel, slightly more awake part of brain cuts it off, brain gets confused and you say:
"...Uh?"
Yeah, I'm an intelligent, articulate guy. Really. Ignore the neanderthal who has apparently taken over my larynx. D'oh.
Some telemarketers will throw you back in the queue if they think you might have been interested but your phone messed up.
I feel for the person on the other end who is often just some low wage person trying to make a living, but that's not my problem.
I'd wager "often" is more like "always" (I have less than $500 to my name, I'm basically jobhunting any time I'm not working right now), but honestly I wouldn't be offended if you just hung up. What bothers me is the people who shriek into the phone or swear me out, and then stupidly DON'T be asked to take off the calling list. Some of my coworkers put that type of person back into the queue because, hey, they didn't ask not to be called and it's not like the person that got screamed at was the one who made the decision to make the call.
Member of Orkut? Annoyed with spam?
That's the nuclear missile launch code to ALL the Strategic Air Command bunkers!
I know assholes have been around since Ogg intentionally tripped Oog during the mastadon hunt, but I think it's difficult to argue that the level of public decorum hasn't fallen like a rock in the past 20 years or so.
As for paranoia, that never changes. From terrorists back to Communists back to "the negras" to "she's a witch" to, I dunno, huns or something. Although with terrorists and Commies there was SOME reality to the threat, even if it isn't always where we are looking.
Same with the negras. HEY, I'M JOKING!! IT'S A JOKE! CALM DOWN!
--- Ban humanity.
Useful Knots and How to Tie Them.
Tips on Using Power Tools
Basic Techniques in Woodworking and Carpentry
All Kinds of Money, a lively and readable explanation of our country's credit system.
There is another one that I can't seem to track down, that is called "The Richest Man in Babylon," and explains the principle of paying yourself first to become wealthy over time. These booklets are all about 20-30 pages long, and many are still a good source to learn the basics of a subject.
Language students: Don't try to learn English here. This ain't it.
A discussion of why ettiquete breaks down BECAUSE OF new technology is as important as the one we have beeen having on slashdot upto now.
In India, economic liberalization has only recently bought us phones and cellphones that work consistently and don't cross-connect. I remember a time when if it was raining out there was only a 50% chance you could pick up the phone and have it work, and I'm only 20 years old. In my district in Mumbai alone there was a waiting list of almost 3000 people waiting to be 'assigned' a phone (the old analog exchanges could only handle ~1000 lines each), and it often took a series of bribes over a period of MONTHS to have your phone installed or fixed.
Consequently, most people my age and above remember a time when a telephone call was a 'luxury.' Therefore our telephone ettiquete is excellent -- if you call an older person and something goes wrong, he or she will wait for you to call back (rather than impulsively dialing your number and 'jamming' the network), people will always take and convey detailed messages, and if the person you are calling is in but not near the phone, they will never hang up.
On the flip side, my roommates in America refuse to answer the phone unless it is for them -- thanks to caller id and that innate American selfishness. Consequently many important calls are missed in our household because I am out and nobody else recognizes the number.
shooting is not too good for my enemies
Politicians like McCarthy fueled fears that Communists were plotting on every streetcorner to hijack America from within.
It's much better nowadays. Now it's either Republikkkan brownshirts are trying to destroy America!!! or else Demokkkrats are trying to destroy America!!!
I mean, we really seem to live in a world these days that's an endless legion of assholes...
People tell me it's the result of free speech and free expression and the tossing of old ways, but that doesn't do much to mitigate the fact that we live immersed in an endless legion of assholes.
(I generally refrain from using language like this in posts, but in this case, I find no suitable alternative to "asshole" to succintly describe a person of that character, so here goes...)
No, you're right about the endless legion of assholes. On this occasion of the 200th anniversary of the duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton we should consider that perhaps bringing back dueling would be a really good idea - the "asshole quotient" would fall precipitously if dueling were reinstated, for several reasons:
First, assholes would (almost by definition) get into duels at far higher rates than normal folks. Even if you presume they attempt to preserve themselves by superior preparation, the odds are against them over the long haul, so the asshole population falls, and polite manners once again reasssert themselves in civilized society.
Second, the smarter and more clueful assholes would begin to actually change thier behavior, staying a bit back from the line of offense that would be grounds for demanding satisfaction in defense of one's honor on the field of battle.
Third, this would affect far more than just the behavior of assholes - eventually, people would once again begin to speak with greater regard for the truth. Let's face it - how long would Michael Moore last in a world where each of the dozens of lies in his new film could lead to a duel?
In an odd way, then, dueling may be anything but regressive and primitive - it is in fact, a key component to an honest, polite, and civilized society, where people are truly held accountable for their words and their actions by the society itself...
"The future's good and the present is nothing to sneeze at." - Roblimo's last
Wow! I knew that some parts of American society were wierd but shouting at people for knocking on your door ?!?!? That's a different planet as far as I'm concerned.
In what part of the states do people do things like that ? I can;t imagine it happening in the parts I've been to.
No but, yeah but, no but...
I used to try to use email for communication at work, but frankly, it's just too hard to know whether the other person ever received my message. If you don't get a reply within a week, you're left wondering if he's read it and not gotten around to responding (or decided the email didn't need a reply), it got lost in transit, or if it's languishing in his email folder unread due to overwhelming email or bad filtering. And heaven forfend that you should email on something that you want a response by day's end! In contrast, I can generally dial a phone number and within seconds either be speaking to the person in question or know that they're not there/available. Personally, I hate talking on the phone (if there's background noise, I often have a horrible time trying to follow what they're saying), but for business, it's necessary.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
Perhaps the proper greeting is "Ahoy, Ahoy"
In what part of the states do people do things like that ?
All of them.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
I count myself among oversensitive geeks btw. Live chicken heads, mmmmmm!