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The Darth Vader Blog
miller60 writes "Darth Vader has launched his very own blog: The Darth Side: Memoirs of A Monster, in which the Sith Lord holds forth in posts such as "Christmas on Hoth" and "I Am Surrounded By Idiots." The comments are a hoot as well. The homage appears to be the handiwork of Canadian Matthew Frederick Davis Hemming."
Yeah, I was there last week. Not a bad blog. One of the better ones out there. However he fails to mention his appearence on Jerry Springer and the real reason why noone understands him. Hes not really a bad guy, he just has issues that noone understands.
I'm a virgo and on Slashdot. Coincidence? Yes.
ENERGIZE
For bonus points, read the comments on the blog. They're almost as funny, in many cases, as the actual entry.
And this is news...how?
I put in a decent story talking about the FCC and VoIP earlier. Maybe that one will get through...
Apr 25 -- James Earl Jones is still doing insulting impressions of me at cocktail parties for cheap laughs; the prostitutes he flirts with think it's "cute".
Slashdot requires you to wait longer between hitting 'reply' and submitting a comment.
A Dark Helmet parody blog soon.
Marvin the Paranoid Android has a Xanga, too.
It appears to be a marketing ploy; I can't say that about the Vader blog.
Is it April Fool's Day in some other country or something?
"Journal! So...you have a Live Journal. Your Mood icon has now betrayed it, too. Google was wise to hide it from me. Now the search engine's failure is complete. If you will not turn to the blog side, then perhaps it will."
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
Any bets on how many hours/days until the C&D letter arrives?
Karma: -2147483648 (Mostly affected by integer overflow)
Just a matter of time before Lucas decides to sue him.
I've been enjoying the blog for the last week.
./ it.
Now you've gone and
Chewbacca appears to be blogging for the rebels...
-- If no truths are spoken then no lies can hide --
This is GREAT. Someone needs to give this guy the script to the first 3 movies to redo. ;-)
-jls
Techno-pagan
Also see:
http://www.livejournal.com/~bobafett/
and
http://www.livejournal.com/users/theforce/
He revealed that it was him a few days back, I had a feeling before he revealed it. It had a Cheeseburgerbrownesqe quality to it.
Power Corrupts,Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely, leaving one person(group)in charge is absolutely corrupt.
I'm just about to open my new site: "The Dark Helmet Side: Memoirs of a Schwartz"
First few posts:
"Channukah on Druidia"
"I Am Surrounded By A$$holes"
"A Night With a Druish Princess"
"Yogurt! I Hate Yogurt!"
"Only One Man Would Dare Use Strawberry"
Developers: We can use your help.
this is not the /. you are looking for.
"Whose trachea do you have to crush with your mind to get a little service around here?"
--20050422
Boy, I know how you feel, Darth! I find myself wondering that all the time.
Go ahead! Mod me down! Who wants a trachea-crushing?!
Electric Monkey Pants
raspberry!
Apr 26 - today I can't listen to Dashboard Confessional because Teena dumped me for Brad and their songs always make me think about her. Maybe this upcoming Radiohead album will raise my spirits. I doubt it. Dad's been totally ragging on me for leaving my helmet lying around the house, but he's like, not my real dad, so I don't have to listen to him. *huhhhh*. *huhhhh*. Yea its like that asshole security guard at the mall telling me what to do, its like, if I want to hang out at the Orange Julius, it's my Constitutional right to hang out at Orange Juliuses, and I'll get the ACLU to arrest him for discriminating against me. *huhhhh*. *huhhhh*.
Slashdot requires you to wait longer between hitting 'reply' and submitting a comment.
Your diary must look odd: "Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch- death, death, death - afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower..."
- Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill
Surely Darth Vader is bedding many an imperial female or occasional bounty hunter. Let us hear about his sexual exploits.
"I'm surrounded by Assholes" is the quote. Sheesh, am I the only one who's seen SpaceBalls?
click me
Funny how even Darth Vader succumbs to putting Ads by Google in his blog...
Who really is the Master?
Those dim-on-black pages are utterly unreadable with a monitor that is even slightly dimmer than when new.
The real "Libtards" are the Libertarians!
Now AOTS is actually scooping Slashdot instead of just reading it verbatim during the show.
You might also want to check out This Guy and find out what vader is really thinking.
Now watch all the copycat blogs pop up, banking on the same idea.
"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
-Hoban Washburn
I don't think this is what he hand in mind.
In the comments of the earliest post
I discovered an abandoned deposit in my company owned by one of our Outer Rim customers who died along with his entire family as a result of an landspeeder crash. He actually deposited this funds amounting to IC12,000,000,000.00 (Twelve billion Imperial Credits), for safe keeping in my company here in Mos Eisley. Company file records shows that the funds was actually for a project our late costumer wanted to start in the near future (a multi million Dollar Spice plant in Kessel)
Oh. my. god. that is funny.
Technoli
I'm sorry, but you're allowed a maximum of three names ba Canadian law. He'll have to drop one.
I sensed the death of Boba Fett today. It wasn't the death, per se, that I felt... It was more a feeling of... humiliation. The last clear thought I could make out was "A blind man... with a stick!! AArrrg!!"
"Derp de derp."
This is nothing compared to Terri Shiavo's blog.
Steven Hawking's blog is also entertaining.
__________________________________________
Take comfort in your ignorance.
Grandmaster Plague
Yeah, ehm, how many people was that again?
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams
Slashdot's front page is dessimated by bad advertising or web design. Even after reloading. Does anyone else see this?
--pyro_dude
Shit, I was trying to get into Empire Earth II.
My favorite quote:
I will say this for being a tyrannical dark overlord: you get great service at restaurants.
I kind of like Humpty Dumpty at the end of 'Jedi.' He was pasty white and had a nice scar on his head, reminiscent of a fallen, cracked egg. Hayden on the other hand is just too good looking to be a Sith Lord. They should have cast Carrot Top as Vader, someone you REALLY LOVE to hate.
Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
(1) Create Blog ...
(2) Pretend to be a fictional character from famous movie
(3) Follow the Emo-Blogger trend
(4)
(5) Profit!
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
Check out Boba Fett's Weblog!
http://bfett.blogspot.com/
I will become more powerful than you can imagine.
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
Yoda said...
Much conflict I feel within you.
22.4.05
----
Darth Vader said...
Dear Yoda,
You fight like Miss Piggy.
Sincerely,
D. Vader
22.4.05
Technoli
"Whose trachea do you have to crush with your mind to get a little service around here?"
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
Darth Vader online dating video at http://www.joking.com/
I would like all stories that contain the word "blog" to be put into their own category, and an option added to the preference page that would allow them to be ignored. I don't know why they bother me... but they REALLY do.
Obama is a twitter sock puppet
Slashdot...
Star Wars for Nerds, stuff that doesn't matter...
Stars Wars fuuuuunnn.....
When I read this blog I found it disgusting that some people seem to feel the need to engage in friendly conversation with a man that is allegedly the greatest war criminal ever. Even on this website some jokingly refer to these crimes as if they are matters of entertainment.
If this was Adolf Hitler's blog, would these people be chatting and making fun about gas chambers? Disgusting.
Awww.. the joyrides for millionares have to wait. Boo hoo. Now what, exactly, does this have to do with Star Wars?
...or have there been a few too many Star Wars articles lately. Could we please have a couple of articles about Tiger to round things out nicely?
Mr. T pitied this fool on 27 July 1992.
It's a Trap!
Not as funny as Yoda's Blog.
Oh dear - if it's something for someone with more money than you - let it not happen, eh? Good thing people didn't think like that in times past or you wouldn't have a computer on which your envious words (let alone fly, drive, phone, etc.).
It's relevant because this is supposed to be News for Nerds. Real nerds do real stuff, they don't sit expanding rumps watching bad movies.
Apparently you missed the word "joyride" (an overpriced one, at that). My life would not be hindered one bit if the Ferris Wheel was never invented - even by the theoretical minimimal loss to the ball bearing industry. And we're not even talking about cancellation, but delay here.
I'm surprised there hasn't been a "cease and desist" letter hasn't been issued by Mr. Lucas yet...
Airplanes were once just for joyrides too. Phones were once just curiousities. Lasers were once just lab toys. Etc., etc.
All were once about as much use as a Ferris Wheel. All were once very expensive.
The point is, Rutan (and Carmack and the other nerds) are doing something real - something that might evolve into access to space by all of us (just as flight is today). Real space. Real life.
A Slashdot article about a humorous blog supposedly posted by some fictional character portrayed by a cloaked actor in a glorified cowboy movie doesn't quite fall into that same realm.
The entry "A Bedtime Story" actually does more to explain what the hell is UP with people in the Empire than all five of the movies put together.
Well, OK, so the LOTR characters predate blogs per se, but this is still pretty funny.
Oh boy, a chance for more hackneyed, tired jokes about Star Wars! I don't get nearly enough cliched Star Wars humor from Slashdot! "It's as if a million geeks read a blog and then suddenly the server died AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I AM A COMEDY GENIUS!"
No thanks, I'll skip it.
It's like the The Very Secret Diaries of Cassandra Claire http://www.livejournal.com/users/cassieclaire/ meets Star Wars. This one went well, can there be another? Perchance a Very Secret Star Logs site? ;)
You must be the change you wish to see in the world - Ghandi
Hey this site sure shows what Darth does in his off-time...
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Its there
Request your free CD of my piano music.
Uh...thanks for the traffic -- I hope the spillover to my own website hasn't just cost be a bazillion dollars in bandwidth. I'm watching my stats go through the roof...so *this* is getting Slashdotted. Good thing I hosted the thing on BlogSpot. Mercy.
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
It would be perfect if we could get a reading of this by James Earl Jones, with just the right touch of sarcasm :)
He's a genius. Check out this short story.
Patrick Doyle
I mod down every jackass who puts his moderation policy in his sig. Oh, wait a sec....
This is Darth himself ...
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
CBB is a true artiste! His posts at K5 and Husi are positively tittilating. Plus I hear he's available for freelance graphic work...
- DRFS Rich
"Christmas" on Hoth? It's supposed to be "Life Day", God help us.
Troll.
There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. Starting now.
Wow. Seeing Darth Vader come out against NCW is astounding. Almost as astounding as the criticisms of the acolyte of the guy who invented it.
Darth Vader: Fourth Generation Warrior. Who would have thunk it?
Sometimes it just feels good to get a little warm sun on my helmet.
This is a pretty funny one, but there are hundreds of parody blogs out there already. Enough to where I'm too lazy to link them all.
"You know why you do not see me styling wit my homies? Because I have no homies!!" -Mojo Jojo
The rebel base is on k5.
Best Slashdot Co
That's comparable to saying "if you don't want to be Slashdotted, don't run a website...'cause you never know!"
/dev/trash, you smell like cheese.
I am grateful to the submitter (or the editor) who decided a direct link to my website in the story copy would be...cruel.
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
by CheeseburgerBlue:
>> Uh...thanks for the traffic -- I hope the spillover to my own website hasn't
>> just cost be a bazillion dollars in bandwidth. I'm watching my stats go
>> through the roof...so *this* is getting Slashdotted. Good thing I hosted the
>> thing on BlogSpot. Mercy.
by Kehvarl
> "You would prefer another target, a military target? Then, name the system!
> I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time. Where is the Rebel base?"
Funny as hell but "insightfull"???
Some mods need a clue by four.
Where she says her mother thinks her boyfried should pay for things as a "repayment" of her company..
So.. your mother thinks you're a whore?
Good reading.
Thanks for playing.
After all, you haven't yet paced up and down in front of the jury while bobbing your head like a chicken and bringing up the Chewbacca Defense.
Lazy, lazy, lazy.
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
Somebody get me a .torrent of Episode III (after I've paid to see the premiere via traditional exhibition methods, of course) and I'll see to it that just such an .MP3/.ACC/.WHTVR is created.
I'll need to cast a good voice, though. Does anybody know if James Earl Jones works for half-scale?
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
I've already been deluged with e-mails from the copycatters, asking me to do a Darth Vader post about their lame, one-entry blogs.
Like the grunting one. Fuck. Right. Off. It was funny for Schiavo, but if the author had any real guts they'd actually give us the Wookiee's inner thoughts.
And they just go downhill from there. I've seen two Emperor Palpatine blogs, two Luke Skywalkers, and one not half bad one by the son of Biggs.
If I see one from Wickett the Ewok I think I'm going to commit seppuku.
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
The honest truth is that "Matthew Hemming" is such an unbelievably common name here in Soviet Canuckistan that I am forced to use middle names in order to differentiate myself from everyone else in our pack of iglus.
Can you imagine the confusion when our mothers called us for supper otherwise?
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
Sheesh, am I the only one who's seen SpaceBalls?
Ignorant git. All the best of us around here read it, of course, in the classic of twentieth century literature: Spaceballs: The Novelization.
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
You obsession with Star Wars is a tad unhealthly I think.
Your knowledge of pop culture is weak, old man.
I am from a small, grease-loving country in the north called Ca-na-da.
Duh.
click me