Slashdot Mirror
NASA Puts A Stop To Space Romance
electro-donkey writes "According to a New Scientist article, romantic entanglements among astronauts could derail long-haul space trips. A top-level NASA panel has decided, though it could alleviate boredom, space sex could cause trouble too. On a mission to Mars, for example, which would take up to 30 months, sexual conflict or infidelity could lead to a 'breakdown in crew functioning'."
No space sex? Why the hell am I wasting my time at astronaut school, then?!
Just because you sold your soul to the devil that needn't make you a teetotaler. --The Devil and Daniel Webster
Haven't these people seen Star Trek? Kirk did it with every green woman in space, and that crew turned out fine...
Being an astronaut is about to swiftly leave the number one spot on the "cool careers" list for most people.
they will be reading Slashdot. It's the only medicine for 30 months without sex.
Just send a married couple, two gays, two lesbians, the Pope and Darl McBride on the mission.
Since no one loves Darl, and the Pope loves everyone but does not have sex, relationships are stable.
I'm still trying to figure out what people mean by 'social skills' here.
In a mission to Mars, for example, which would take up to 30 months, sexual conflict or infidelity could lead to a 'breakdown in crew functioning'.
30 months??? Who the heck can function properly without sex for 30 months?
"Orbiting the capsule."
"Having a liftoff."
"Outspacing the Soviets."
I am offering my services to NASA. As a true geek (obvious by reading Slashdot at 8:30Z) I would stick to the pure sciences of the mission and clearly state now that I not interested in sex by any means. Who needs sex when you have zero gravity anywho!
Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
This sounds prelude to state sponsored wacking off. Does NASA provide the pron? I'm waiting for that next announcement with them saying they do support flogging the dolphin.
30 months? Nothing the slashdot crowd ain't used to, then
The indiscriminate use of vulgar language is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker
NASA expects people to go without sex for 30 months? I suppose it's possible, but from everything I know about people, it seems improbable. What if two astronauts get married while they're on the mission, is it okay then? GOD SAID IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO SQUIRT LIQUID INTO YOU
Fine to make such a well-considered policy -- but if the astronauts are like these brutes, they'll ignore the rules and revert to their natural behavior:
"Sexual harassment may also endanger a mission. In an 8-month space station simulation on Earth in 2000, a Russian man twice tried to kiss a Canadian woman researcher just after two other Russians had gotten into a bloody brawl. As a result, locks were installed between the Russian and international crews' compartments."
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/when_to_
Ensure that every member is a complete slut.
...it could increase productivity because in the barren Martian landscape we would still have some sign of humanity around to keep us going.
"One could perhaps select for people who seem to have less need for sex, or at least don't use sex as a form of self-validation", a quote from some random psychologist not part of the NASA board, but happens to be quoted in this article (seriously...do journalists just accept anything that agrees with their news titles as evidence?).
Heh sex is a major part of all forms of life...why paint it in such a light. This is like moral judgement.
There is validity to both sides (free choice versus disruption of work), but I don't think personal matters should be part of NASA's decisions...it just seems to be outside of their jursidiction, if you will, especially on long-haul missions where astronauts are away from other human beings for long periods of time.
Just pack along a couple pr0n DVDs. ;-)
w00t
If they're not allowed sexual relations, they'll have to resort to using inserting cigars into each other!
Sex is messy enough on Earth. Imagine if gravity wasn't around to constrain the range of your, ahem, volleys.
All the female crew can wear vibrators 24/7.
They could send lesbian crew members. Then the stroked-ego male astronauts have 30 months to crack that puzzle.
At least you'd have privacy for the moment of climax. In space, no one can hear you scream...
"How do you have sex in weightlessness?"
I believe you need a third dolphin.
How we know is more important than what we know.
And what we need to do here on earth is outlaw porn, oh, and prostitution, outlaw that too, just say no and there'll be no problem. Ya that'll work
Queue "Geeks In Space" / "CmdrTaco/Hemos buttfucking" jokes.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
So, lets say that you decide to violate the NASA no-sex regulations in the middle of a Mission to Mars... what do they do? Tell you to get off the ship?
Adolfo
That's not going to lead to any grouchiness at all.
How can I tactfully ask this?
nevermind, I'll be point blank...
So are you allowed to jerk off?
Sick I know, but imagine this stuff floating around in zero G.
Forget I said that...better *ban* this activity also.
*sigh* There go my dreams of Mars.
There goes my dreams of getting it on with some hot space sluts.
Hey baby, want to join the 238,857-mile-high club?
I assume the problem isn't the sex itself, but the potential end result.. Just let them stock up on RU486 and all is well!
no one can hear you go "uuuuuunnnnngggggghhhhh".
Just send me and a handful of cute women into space. I promise, I'll be a good boy.
Nothing in the article suggest they will put a stop on it.
It's just another overgeneral article about pro's and cons of relationships on long missions, and some examples.
Oh, and they're going to stuy it some more...
Nothing to see here, move along.
They'd be killing all their birds with one stone, for pete's sake. Huge media coverage, lucrative advertising sponsorships... man NASA would be overfunded and popular again for the first time since the 60's. C'mon NASA, give America what it really wants!
They could call it "Pigs in Space" or wait.. yeah that one was taken. Too bad it's a classic.
"Vote 'em off the shuttle!"
[I have no name!:/]# _
I'd be humping everything in sight by then.
"Jesus, Jeff, have you ever noticed how supply the mass spectrometer sample port looks? Grab me some of that lithium grease. You know four weeks of getting off with the rubber folds of the remote arm manipulator have me really chaffed."
Though God help me for quoting a movie as a reference - it had a discussion about how married couples were considered more stable for long flights in space. Though they didn't say that married couples doing it in space was better.
But apparently this is a serious problem - read the part about couple of russian astronauts made a pass at a canadian chick.
There are real problems to dealt with, firstly the pulse rate is monitored. Secondly, you DO not want a prophylactic failure in space. More importantly you want your astronauts to actually concentrate on their work and not about who is doing who (high school style).
There's only one kind of sexual release which doesn't include jealousy or partners as a standard component
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur
Take slashdotters. Problem solved.
Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus
Where the three-body problem is solved,
Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
And the cold virus never evolved.
(chorus)
We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
And a kilogram weighs half a pound.
(chorus)
If we run out of space for our burgeoning race
No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch
When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
If we just find a big enough wrench.
(chorus)
I'm sick of this place, it's just McDonald's in space,
And living up here is a bore.
Tell the shiggies, "Don't cry," they can kiss me goodbye
'Cause I'm moving next week to L4!
(chorus)
CHORUS:
Home, home on LaGrange,
Where the space debris always collects,
We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams:
Solar power and zero-gee sex.
--Home on Lagrange (The L5 Song)
© 1978 by William S. Higgins and Barry D. Gehm
... in 'Stranger in a Strange Land.' I would have thought that the issues would have been well understood.
I think it would also be understood that as long as you have a mixed gender group of people together for an extended period of time, there isn't a lot you can do to prevent it either.
Valentine Smith.
-Rusty
You never know...
See, I think I'd argue that they should be pushing for the exact opposite. I mean, honestly, if I had to spend 30 months with someone, I'd rather they'd be so into free love that chewbacca would get 'em going (and I mean, how can he not?).
I'd rather have the sluttle shuttle rather than a no-fun-nun-run.
Besides, just about *every* job disallows having sex at the office, it isn't like people who to do it don't ignore it anyways . . . Making rules that are just going to be ignored is stupid.
...chunks of foam are still breaking off of the space shuttle and the heat shielding tiles need to be fixed via spacewalks. Fortunately, the agonizing decision as to whether astronauts should have sex has been laid to rest. Thank goodness, because I was beginning to think that NASA had lost its focus!
Honestly, I'd tell this panel to go fsck themselves, but they can't now anyway... right?
A DVD player is WAY to bulky for space - just get a video iPod and some povpod.com action!
Horns are really just a broken halo.
I also heard a story of a pair on a shuttle having a relation and getting married shortly after the flight. Apparently NASA wasn't told before and was not happy. (Might have been the same couple.) And of course the rumours that some Russkies sacrificed themselves for science. I can't find a reference for both stories unfortunately.
karma police: arrest this man, he talks in maths; he buzzes like a fridge, he's like a detuned radio. [radiohead]
What is worse than 30 months without sex? 30 months in a small closed environment, where others have sex, but you don't get any.
Man, that would get me frustrated beyond reason. And the realisation of this is why I understand why NASA is doing this.
Actually, 30 months without sex, I think I could do it if I were on such a mission. Because I would be mentally prepared for this. I know the other crewmembers are not having sex either. And the sex fixation in our siciety would not be there on a daily basis. Of course, I would expect periods of frustration. But I don't think it would be a major problem.
When there is no potential for sex, when there is no constant reminder of sex around you, it is much easier to live without it. But if others in your crew are having sex, and you don't get any. That would really make things difficult.
Of course, drugs that temporary kill libido would be very welcome too.
Thankyou! As soon as I saw the article I thought 'Stranger in a Strange Land' had this covered...
;)
Glad I'm not the only one
Baka Drew
No matter how weird things get, the air will clear when ground control calls to remind the crew, "if you miss the timing on this deorbit burn, you're all going to burn to death."
No Earth-based station simulation is going to completely capture the urgency of real space travel.
...and will provide lucrative funding, too.
"And now, live from the Big Brother Space Capsule..."
Because currently it's a pain in the arse....
...and the birth of Valentine Michael Smith.
(Link Not Work/Children Safe) The real reason they're putting a stop to it.
By reading this you acknowledge that you have read it.
If someone gives birth in space, would the child classify as an alien?
NASA said no sex with fellow crew members, so i guess they'll be flying about in the hope that some UFO comes find them to give a good old probing!
Space sex?!? I can't even get Earth Sex!
Sex and romance have been proven essential for crews in isolation as almost every professional psychologist agrees and there are numerous studies. NASA is making one mistake after the other lately. At least for manned missions this agency will be replaced within the next 5-10 years.
Also during a 30 month mission, a baby could be carried to full term... which is another mouth to feed... and a strain on the food rations.
And who knows what complications there could be for the baby, being born in 0G?
I have a conspiracy theory:
The first man on mars will be British
The reason?
They're the only ones who will drink the bromine tea.
(sorry about the bad link...)
Nothing sucks like a Vax, nothing blows like a PowerMac G4
article says NAS reporting on report by NASA
that A is important peoples
So put a polyamorous family crew on board that are already all having sex with each other without fidelty problems.
You're forgetting the pilot and first officer of Serenity.
(You know, that blonde geeky guy and the hot chick from Cleopatra 2525.)
They're married and get it on regularly (it seems), but the only conflict that I've seen them have is that he sometimes gets jealous of the relationship between his wife and the captain, and she wants a kid but he doesn't.
Also, Serenity is a small ship with a small crew, and no holodeck, replicators, or transporters.
All in all, Firefly seems to be a much closer match to what an actual Mars mission would be like, in terms of technology and the size of the ship and crew, than the various Star Trek scenarios.
Well, except for the artificial gravity.
And the hooker.
Those who sacrifice security to condemn liberty deserve to repeat history or something. - Benjamin Santayana
If they want a sexless crew does this mean they'll all be conservative Republicans?
Is that an astronaught trying to invite sex from his team-mates? Disgusting!
. . . to "In space, no one can hear you scream."
Noone feels left out and if they've lived together for years before on earth there's no reason to assume they're going to break down during flight either.
I'm completely serious btw.
hopelessly flawed. First they missmanage and over use an inefficiant air/spaceframe design. During which they get two crews killed needlessly. They have ignored repeated warnings from the manufacturer on one incident. They lose/destroy multiple multimillion dollar probes. Commission needless studies that in this case even duplicate earlier efforts. And just when I think that they have run out of stupidity they start the magnum project, and pursue hyper x as space transport.
The magnum project is supposed to provide a mars launch vehicle. It was estimated that the crew to mars would need approx 100 tons to be launched. Magnum is slated to lift far less than that requiring a slow and expensive orbital assembly period. Meanwhile the Russians have a nice reusable space vehicle called Energia. In its Vulcan config it can lift up to 175 tons and has been sucessfully launched with a good safety record (so far). But nasa cant be bothered with existing tech that works - we need expensive and buggy tech instead.
Hyper x - now it is a wonderfull device and I have great respect for it. It is just not what nasa is selling it to be. They claim it will be a space plane that will not use a rocket and fly at high speeds and even into orbit. Just one problem - SCRAM jets need a supersonic air flow at the intake and through the engine to even work. You just do not get that at subsonic speeds. The test data that I have seen thus far indicates that they have not even had it work below mach 5 yet and it needs to be boosted to speed by a pegasus rocket. Hyper x makes more sense as a return craft where speed can be a "bit" more easy to come by.
The really sad thing is that there are real high quality people working for nasa that are getting painted with an ugly brush here. Nasa has made wonderful contributions to military,comercial, and general aviation in the areas of new materials. wind tunnel research, new safety systems, new avionics systems, manuverability studies and developments, aircraft design and testing and many more. These hard working people are doing many things that are improving the world arround us and no one is talking about it. Instead we all sit back and notice what the PHBs that they are saddled with go on to the next idiotic stunt. Nasa needs new management from the top down, a swift kick, some better media coverage, LOTS more money - with a better oversite to make sure that it gets used intelligently, and support from the government and the average citizen - in that order. If they dont get all of that stuff soon they will become totally irrelevent. Which, in light of their tremendous achievements to date(Apollo 11 for one), and their enormous potential, would be a terrible loss.
Havent they heard of the Pill
Don't you remember...
"I believe he's attempting re-entry"
See title.
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'.
All you need is a cardboard cutout of Rosanne.
Such as making the shuttle safer or possibly creating a replacement system? Is this what NASA worries about?
GJC
Gregory Casamento
## Chief Maintainer for GNUstep
No, you're not. ;)
Karma: Chameleon - mostly influenced by bad '80s New Wave music
Damn, where's the problem - just populate the ship with a collection of "swinger" couples - they'll bonk their partners AND the others no problem.
:)
Thus, everyone's getting it, there's none of that monogomous bullshit to get in the way (when the invetible "I like you're partner, dude!" happens) and so sex is just natural and fun. Wooo hoo.
Of course, getting them to do any science, stay focussed, etc - well - that could be tricky....
Mission Control: "Hey guys, it's time to do the orbital approach manouver.... Hey guys... Awww come on you lot, quit that.... Are we going to have to turn off the jacuzi again????"
I left my body to science, but I'm afraid they've turned it down...
This sends you to the "smiling man" if you're unfortunate enough to visit the site with Javascript enabled. One more reason not to use Javascript!
Three days is more than I can usually handle without my brain going into a fit of chaos. If they really expect people to go 30 months without sex then they should provide medication that will reduce their sex drive. Even then you have basic human emotional needs which sex plays a part of so people would still probably have sex. Trying to go without sex will cause more problems than just planning for sex.
Send them up half male and half female with orders that they need to rotate partners on a daily basis. Well laid people with multiple partners they aren't previously attached to are less likely to get into jealous rages or similar problems. Expecting them to go without for 30 months is foolish and choosing to ignore the problem will work just about as well as not providing sex ed to horny highschool kids. These people are astronauts and know their lifes depend on working together. If they can't work together even when they hate each other (or worse - love each other) then they shouldn't be sent up.
At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
Send two married men, their wives, and a baby per couple. I guarantee no sex will occur.
Why not just send a bunch of eunuchs? They can even bring along their own operating system.
OLPC Australia
Well, gosh, there's pretty much the same rules in the military, and they do just fine.
Right?
*crickets*
No, really, I kid, I kid. But...
Seeing how you can now buy your way onto an official mission, why not the rest of the crew pony up the money to pay the way for - hmmm - how can I put this - oh, I dunno - let's call them a "companion" - heck, you could even have them in their own isolable / detachable - oh, I dunnno - "shuttle" in case things got too weird. Triple check with the folks in Nevada, but Joss^H^H^H^H NASA may have solved their own problem.
"Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
We welcome to Earth the first man born off world. Michael Valentine Smith.
if I were married to your wife, I would recommend it. (just had to be said :) ).
Last time this came up there was a submariner who gave a pretty insightful description of what has happened since crews went mixed. The time periods are not quite as long (iirc 6 months at a time), but it still gives insight into what happens when a group of people are stuck in a confined space for a long time.
I am trolling
study orgasms, body chemistry, and reproduction in space....it would shure make the trip more interesting!
'nuff said.
(what NASA will do if it decides to send George Bus^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H a moneky along with the human crew is anyones guess)
/. community that you're politically astute, would it?
/. mods, though.** clearing throat ** Let's send Dick Cheney up instead. At least then if two of the crew start to get involved in some hanky-panky, he will intervene by telling them to "Go fu*k yourselves", which he has a penchant for doing.
Ah, yes, it just wouldn't be a proper Slashdot thread with the totally inane and unnecessary Bush bashing just to (try to) prove to the rest of the
I guess that I'd better post this as AC. We all know how anti-anti-Bush posts get modded into oblivion by the "still pissed that Gore and Kerry lost" Slashdot mods.
Maybe if I put in an unnecessary Cheney insult I can sooth the ire of
How did the nation that BUILT the space shuttle get THIS stupid THIS fast? I want my tax dollars back!
...who seemed to be at it in all the bad timelines:
PICARD: "Computer, locate Leutenant Worf"
COMPUTER: "Leutenant Worf is in the bath with Leutenant Troi"
PICARD: "Red Alert! And run a full sweep for chronoton particles..."
such comedy...
It's only an issue when you're not getting any.
...would be the development of the Orgasmatron, as used by Woody Allen in 'Sleeper'. The NASA solution will probably be to send some sheep and vibrators on missions.
Perhaps NASA should investigate other ways for astronauts to "relieve" themselves on these missions then. They should look at http://www.realdoll.com/Real Doll (not work safe) and other sexual outlets instead. While it might seem far fetched, during WW2, Hitler was looking at sex dolls as well as an outlet for soliders on the battlefields. While his interests were different (he was more worried of his soliders catching STD's from foreign prostitutes), it still was an approach to meet the sexual needs of his soliders so they would be in peak performance.
Looks like several of us. Or do you and I count as the same person?
[100% ISO 646 Compliant]
SVM, ERGO MONSTRO.
Train Ron Jeremy, Amber Lynn and a host of other porn stars to be astronauts.
They could have sex all the time, they wouldn't care who's fucking who.
and with all the montoring of the crew, NASA could podcast the whole thing
as pay-per-view porn and make some money back from the failed polar lander attempt.
Join the Slashcott! Feb 10 thru Feb 17!
To be fair, it's not "Dark Ages puritanism" - it's more like not mixing work and personal life. There are a number of ways in which sex in space could make interaction between crew members very awkward, which would in turn make the whole crew less efficient, which could be dangerous and costly. Plus, can you imagine what would happen if whatever method of birth control they're using failed? Hopefully they'd be smart enough to get permenantly sterilized before trying something like that, but if not it could be a serious problem.
That said, I don't know how they'd enforce it either.
Mars and Return to Mars by Ben Bova... These 2 novels deal with the trip to mars, and as much as those who sent the scientist's and astronauts/cosmonauts didnt want them having sex, it happened anyways...
Its like telling a child they cannot have a cookie... they just want it that much more after you tell them
is FORBIDDEN space sex
military/naval culture evolved over the millennia into its sexist, homophobic state for exactly this reason (alexander the great notwithstanding;-) and recent social-engineering to change that culture is doomed:-(
i'm not opposed 2 women & gays in the military, but putting 18 y.o.s together in close quarters will result in pregnancies - duh! not 2 conducive to the mission...is it any wonder the superstition against women on ships arose? (xref: garcia's cover of 'handsome cabin boy';-)
Question:
:)
"30 months??? Who the heck can function properly without sex for 30 months?" - by BottleCup (691335) on Saturday October 22, @04:25AM
Answer:
SLASHDOTTERS! (Especially the Pro-UNIX/Linux/BSD ones!)
*
(LOL!)
But, "seriously folks" - I have a pal nicknamed "the Rat" (whom I gave that nickname 22 years ago no less), who, though he isn't the 'most educated guy' (but, is one of the best chess players I've ever met & I am a fairly avid player myself for decades now)?
Made one HELL of a point, & that is this:
MOST FIGHTS START OVER 2 THINGS - Money, or WOMEN!
(Isn't it the truth?)
APK
P.S.=> To this very day, 20++ years later? I'm forced to agree, it's usually the case... the remaining %'s are simply testosterone & fighting for 'pecking rights' in the pack with guys battling, imo! apk
A cheap shot at George Bush is really funny from somebody who can't even spell "Kirk" correctly.
And by the way, chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys. I would expect an intellectual such as yourself -- and all the Slashdroids who modded you "+5 Funny" -- to know the difference.
> Sexual conflict or infidelity could lead to a 'breakdown in crew
> functioning'.
I see someone at NASA has read 'Stranger in a Strange Land'.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Serious comment: this is one more reason to focus on cheaper, safer, robotic missions.
org.slashdot.post.SignatureNotFoundException: ewg
> On a mission to Mars, for example, which would
> take up to 30 months, sexual conflict or infidelity
> could lead to a 'breakdown in crew functioning'.
Solution? All-gay missions.
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
I imagine NASA would solve this one by incorporating a little 'private time' in the daily schedule for each crew member and their own personal video collection. The only thing that worries me is the additional 'raw material' that might be diverted from the waste recycling system.
RETURN without GOSUB in line 1050
Uh oh. I don't think Mr. Bond will be doing any more world-saving when things are going that way.
NASA is playing it right in to the hands of criminal super-genious overlords everywhere, which, I, for one, would like to welcome.
General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature. Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
All this makes me wonder how much wanking is going on inside ISS...
They used to give soldier bromine in their tea in WWI. It was meant to help them stay focused on the job in hand (no pun intended!). Not that I can imagine getting too distracted stuck in a cold muddy trench with the other side throwing shells at me. Whatever side you were on.
This would be a great source of funding for NASA. Just make manned space missions into reality shows "Lust in Space", complete with big breasted, scantily clad astronauts and square jawed, poorly shaven, hunky men astronauts, a zero G hot tub and spa, and one or two astronaut characters you're never too sure about who could be sabeuteurs. But you'll notice that since NASA's doing more serious, scientific stuff like building ant colonies in space and making better packing foam, they'll nix that idea just like the space tourism idea. Maybe if they're lucky, they'll merge with the US Post Office.
Damn, now we'll never have our legally three-parented, psychologically martian, trillionaire supergenius overlord.
I thought a previous +5 Insightful comment was merely funny. This one is fracking brilliant.
you can have my violent video games when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.
Prime UID Club
no more "manned" missions. Just robotic spacecraft. We cannot affort screwups in space, the
tax dollars are getting spread too thin as it is what with Iraq, Katrina, etc.
Building robotic spacecraft provides tech jobs on Earth, and the people can do what they want at home off the job.
Reminds me of this little gem: http://www.pbfcomics.com/temporary/PBF029BCNiceTry Zarlfax.jpg
Well, this pretty much grounds James Bond, eh? I mean how can he NOT have sex? Though, nasa should talk to him about the physics of doing the nasty in zero-g. I'm sure he could write a book about it!:-P
If they really expect people to go 30 months without sex then they should provide medication that will reduce their sex drive.
I first read that as "modification", not "medication". I was wondering how you'd get a bunch of astronauts to agree to a Mars mission if they knew they were going to be made eunuchs first....
After all, look at Tasha and Data.
Data was just a big computerized dildo to her.
I just wanted to see an episode where Data got to meet Seven, (after he received his emotion chip) and upon seeing her for the first time his very first words to her (in a Groucho Marx impression) would be "I'm fully functional and programmed in multiple techniques" (nudge nudge wink wink).
His brief encounter with the Borg Queen in "First Contact" and the same quote was just plain gross.
That's it, I'm seriously done with them! Prudes in space!!!!
:(
Put them in the airlock and press the evac button.
No sex leads to war... I mean what else is there to do if
you can't make love
Hey, we've already done a large-scale social experiment where we recruited healthy young men, gave them a job, and told them to go a lifetime without sex when other people around them were having it, and it turned out OK, didn't it?
Oh, wait...
Just force everyone to masturbate twice a day - that will help control everybodys sexdrive. Is that not the way every lonely guy keeps insanity at bay?
- barkholt
If two of the astronauts were having an affair and the child that resulted from the pregnancy was abandoned on the Martian landscape, and the advanced beings that lived their raised him as their own and he came back and revolutionzed the way that we think....
Did you ever notice that *nix doesn't even cover Linux?
Conflict on a mission to Mars couldn't be all that bad. Hell, we could get out of it weird ass psychic powers and a messiah whom we can stone to death underneath a freeway. But when you can think people out of existence and your whole religion is based on sex... I'm just saying worse things could happen.
"Sex and romantic entanglements among astronauts could derail missions to Mars and should therefore be studied by NASA, warns a top-level panel of US researchers."
So in reality we've got a top-level panel of US researches who are tantalizingly close to achieving the ultimate Holy Grail - pursuing workplace sex, romantic entanglements and porn in the name of "research".
Godspeed lads, godspeed.
It would perhaps help if slashdot submitters actually read the articles that they refer to first :). This was a report from the National Academy of Sciences recommending that NASA look at this. NASA has not made a decision nor officially looked at this. From the article:
"NASA plans to return astronauts to the Moon by 2018 and later on to Mars. But a round-trip mission to the Red Planet would probably last at least 30 months and carry six to eight people. That would be a hotbed for intense crew relationships, says a report by the ***US National Academy of Sciences (NAS)***.
"With the prospect of a very long-term mission, it's hard to ignore the question of sexuality," says Lawrence Palinkas, a medical anthropologist at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles, an author of the report. It reviewed NASA's plans for research to keep astronauts safe and healthy in space - ****but the plans make no mention**** of sexual issues in spaceflight."
A 30 month trip? Just think of 9 months into mission time. I'm surprised nobody thought of the end result.. KIDS IN SPAAAACE! Heck, if they manage to time this one right we can have a bona fide Martian alien when they come back home.
Not to mention these issues, just imagine the fun they and the rest of the crew will have when they need to catch globs of bodily fluids flying around the craft.
Ewww!
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
This article doesn't say a thing about nasa putting a stop to anything. they are doing studies.
...for the perfect "department" lead in with "from the heinlein-rolling-in-his-grave dept."
... should help alleviate boredom during long space voyages, they say.
I must admit I don't quite like imagining the situation of (male) astronauts entertaining themselves in a confined space in a zero-gravity environment. Can you imagine how sticky all the panels and controls of their spacecraft would get over time?
Then again, if they are geeks who just got out of their parents' basement, they are of course used to their keyboards being in a similar condition...
I want to play Free Market with a drowning Libertarian.
By giving them man what? Viagra on daily base?
--- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
Have you seen the women NASA hires? I mean, seriously. I don't think 30 years without sex would make them desirable.
They dont need to have sex with each other! What about some masturbation with daily fresh downloaded porn off the NASA servers?
Or at least Swedish babes...long legs, no hangups, intelligent, independent & photogenic.
I volunteer to supervise.
Someone has to do it.
Please remember that there are some people who haven't seen Serenity, and may still be planning to (Yeah, it does happen). Spoiler warnings (in the subject line) are standard to allow people to avoid plot suspense spoilage.
Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
Damn... I forgot. That doesn't work.
-- I ignore anonymous replies to my comments and postings.
Jus wondering if its gonna seem any different from the ones we see here!!!
Why does yahoo do this
Hire a clean, attractive lady to join the crew to fulfill their desires when the situation presents itself.
It's simple, really.
We have secretly replaced these Slashdot mods' sense of humor with a rusty nail. Let's see if they notice!!
It's just that: every concern for sexual politics you can name happens to ordinary people right here on the ground all the time. People screw, unscrew, regroup, remove, and repent. See, you could send swinging couples up, so everybody can be comfortable with everybody else. Or make all the crew-members gay as some have suggested (though I don't know why; gays can break up and cheat and fight with the best of 'em). Or bring on people who don't have a high sex drive (even the most promiscuous of us can go 30 months without sex...such as after being widowed or divorced).
See, I've been places and seen things, and was for a while a frequenter of...if I described it, people would say "swinger's clubs", and that's not it at all, but we'll call them "swinger's clubs". You *learn* things about people, there. You learn to *relax* about sex! It happens. It happens to some people more than others, of course, and it happens in forms that attract and repell different kinds of people, given. You discover that you can be part of the orgy, or a spectator, and after a few turns at both, it doesn't make as much of a difference. Believe it or not, a group of people in a space capsule for 30 months are pretty much going to do what comes naturally, and you'd just better be ready to deal with it. Fix them, pack condoms, whatever it takes. It's also not the Soap Opera that people are trying to make it out to be: couples with rotten relationships stay together for years for the sake of the kids; I'm sure a couple can stick it out for the sake if the human race's most advanced scientific mission, which they would have been training for all their lives.
But all of the above could get me damn near burned at the stake for heresay in this society. Nope, monotheist, patriarchal cultures have a *H_U_G_E* problem with sex, said problem being their sole unique characteristic, and thus believe that everybody else does, too. Well, censoring my TV, books, internet, video games, children's education, etc is bad enough. But the advancement of the whole human race is waiting on us to get our asses off the fence and EVOLVE already, and we're gonna blow it because we can't make up our minds what to do with our genitalia for 3 years? Time to head back to the cave and let the monkeys have a go: we're not fit to be the most advanced species.
Haven't these people seen Star Trek? Kirk did it with every green woman in space, and that crew turned out fine...
Every time Kirk bags a space chic, god kills a red shirt.
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
...a Japanese robot entraprenurer will announce a "solution" in about 6 months from now. Mark my words.
Table-ized A.I.
Sure, a quantum entanglement may not be as much fun as a romantic entanglement, but just how far does the NASA crackdown on entanglements reach?
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
I'm stickin' to it.
The L5 Song
Home, home on Lagrange
Where the space debris always collects,
We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams:
Solar power and zero-gee sex.
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, it doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick
Hey, you need to get laid! It'll help relieve your stress and frustrations, and is far more enjoyable than posting flames on Slashdot!
If we sent a 3-person male crew to Mars, with the design being that there would be no sex (and these men were straight) and thus less problems, the feminists would ignore any scientific findings of higher-success probabilities due to an idea that whenever women are not exacty 50% of something. They would argue that it must be because "men" are keeping them down.
I guess Space Sex gives a whole new meaning to the Mile High Club. Suppose they'll have to rename it too! Miles High Club maybe?
Send me up with all these women all you guys speak of and I'll personally let the world know how my mission goes.
My lame blog.
For long space voyages, a lesson from the past is in order to preserve crew discipline. Consider how the British did it, when ships were at sea for months at a time, there was no radio or niceties that we live with.
a) The Captain rules the ship with an iron fist and has a compliment of marines to back him up.
b) The crew is fairly well paid, is issued a bit of a booze ration, but does exactly what the Captain says or they are whipped or thrown out the airlock.
This model did take over the world, you know.
This is my sig.
Just snip/cut/remove all relevant hidden contraband hormone generators. Eunuchs works better in space anyways. ;)
Or even better, do it like Spock's brain, and only have robotic bodies when you need to EVA/explore the ground.
Either that or send a couple guys, a lot of women, and use King Solomon social rules up there.
sexual conflict or infidelity could lead to a 'breakdown in crew functioning'.
This is scientifically known as the "ABBA effect".
Why, oh why, do American authorities have this obsession with regulating sex? US authorities are in some ways very similar to medieval Europe and modern day Islamic states. Stupid idiots...
Oh well, what the hell...
Easy answer to space sex potential "conflict".
Just make sure the all crew members are POLYAMOROUS .
End of "problem".
It's worked for me for 35 years now.
We will not evolve further as a human race until we conquer the next frontier of "sex in space". Once we acheive sex in space we will progress into next phase of evolution. It is most important to acheive sex in space. If not NASA will bring us sex in space then some other company, acency, or organization need to get funding to accomplish sex in space. I volunteer to be one who will be launched for sex in space.
They should make the ship out of the same materials that The Champagne Room is made out of. Cause there's no sex going on in there.
I've hit Karma 50 and gotten a Score:5, Troll... I win!
First off, where does the ejaculate go? I mean, if M+M's drift everywhere......
not to mention how a few short+curlies end up in random places. I can't imagine floating with my tube of soup and finding one of THOSE drifting by.
And to consider the laws of motion....if you're not into bondage, you're going to have a hell of a time managing the deed. You're probably as likely to crumple on her pelvis as get anywhere with every 3rd thrust or so.
Nah, I think I'll pass on the Love Capsule.
... though apparently not so obvious to NASA, is to send people who are mature adults and don't have hang ups that make them confuse relationship with ownership.
Of course then the majority of the US population which does have that hang up will try to claim that NASA is "condoning" "immoral" behavior and the mass media would reap a billion dollar windfall winding up the sheeple by feeding their frenzy.
So many problems would be alleviated if people would just elevate "mind your own fucking business" to the level of a moral imperative like beneficence and nonmalfeasance.
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
This issue has obviously been dealt with in practice by the Navy. With all of the other far more obvious problem, why is this even an issue?
Now that would be cool. Sex with biofeedback.
There isn't any gravity. I sure wouldn't want to bump into a sticky floating droplet, would you? Worse yet, people need to breathe. Careful!
you should be maximizing what you've got while your stuck up there for so long...
Monks, nuns, and slashdotters. Then again, you could always sidestep the whole sex thing and hibernate the crew for the majority of the trip. I would just be extra careful as to what kind of computer system was in charge of that...
Anyway, let's say people were to have sex in space, and, for the sake of argument, were to conceive (and there not be an abortion). Does anyone know what the effects zero gravity would have on gestation? Would the child even be able to return to and environment with gravity in it?
"Hopefully they'd be smart enough to get permenantly sterilized before trying something like that..."
And miss out on all those superpowered children? Just think of the possibilities combinations for conceiving new overlords: radiation belts, solar flares, ion storms...
Don't bash Bush on Slashdot, fools... his Christ'n warriors'll nuke yer faggoty asses like they done to that Saa-damn and Osama bin-- oh, wait, I guess they forgot about him..
Bring back the Castrati.
Oh, and who's worried about the logistics of sex in space? I'm more worried about the logistics of the cleanup. 30 months without sex is nothing compared to 30 months with "used" bedsheets...
Sorta brings a whole new meaning to "Houston, we have a problem!" :)
www.linuxpenguin.net
Anybody - and I mean anybody - with an imagination.
[|]
30 months? What if someone gets pregnant?
Talk about a complication.... can hear the right to lifers complaining already.
2/5 astronauts will quit their jobs the moment they're informed of this. I swear.
It's never just a game when you're winning. - George Carlin
Add this to the list of reasons why private spaceflight must succeed. I want to be in the 2,000 mile high club, dammit!
Isn't that how Robert A. Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land starts. With the crew of a mars mission killing each other over this ?
. . . easy answer.
Let's not forgot if a chick got knocked up on the way to mars they would run out of air, food and H20. Plus imagine having to be in a small tin can with your woman for the few years it would take to get there. I'd have to jump out the airlock.
There goes my PHD in Space conception, I was really looking forward to researching repeatedly "docking proceedures" in Zero G with opposite sex participants
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As someone who has not yet seen the movie, I just want to say thanks a lot, asshole.
Those who sacrifice security to condemn liberty deserve to repeat history or something. - Benjamin Santayana
Ever!
In fact, private spacecraft will probably have suites designed for nothing but zero-gee sex (ZGS).
C'mon, ZGS has to be better than regular sex if only because your arm won't fall asleep with her head on it anymore.
Read a preview of my novel CYBERCHILD at www.smartalix.com/cyberchild
This is what I love about Slashdot. You can always find a language geek when you need one.
___
It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.
Actually, Pierre Boulle already thought of this. Read his short story, "Love and Gravity".
-- M. Edward (Ed) Borasky http://linuxcapacityplanning.com
Well, I was referring to my nickname more than anything else.
Karma: Chameleon - mostly influenced by bad '80s New Wave music
Living in parents basement: Check
::KA-BOOM::
Anti-social behaviour: Check
Radical beliefs: Check
Terrorist activities: Check
Hey! I may be a terrorist, but I am a white-hat terrorist! I only blow buildings up to publicize flaws in anti-bomb security. If I didn't perform this valuable public service, some unscrupulous black-hat terrorist might have blown it up. And black-hat terrorists are all unethical capitalist bastards. That must not come about!
Is this a sigs-optional kind of place? 'Cause I am totally down with that if you know what I mean.