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Chuck Norris Sues Publisher, Tears Don't Cure Cancer

Google85 writes "Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him. The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said."

374 comments

  1. Looks great but by BeoCluster · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does Chuck Norris runs Linux ?

    1. Re:Looks great but by budgenator · · Score: 0

      Does Chuck Norris runs Linux ?
      I don't know but his law-suit-roundhouse kick is going to knock Penguin into next Tuesday!

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    2. Re:Looks great but by Tikkun · · Score: 5, Funny

      Chuck Norris would never run Linux, but if he did the license would change from the GPL to the CNL.

      Why wouldn't Chuck Norris run Linux? Because he can just put an Ethernet cable in his mouth and talk directly to the Internet.

    3. Re:Looks great but by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 1

      No, but Linux runs from Chuck Norris.

      I'm really surprised that you even asked. You ought to be crapping your pants by now, but you haven't even the slightest clue of what's about to happen, right?

      For crying out loud, stop reading this post, and run!

    4. Re:Looks great but by ZiggyStardust1984 · · Score: 1

      Google Search is not ran by a super computer grid. Chuck Norris replies to every single search request.

    5. Re:Looks great but by alex4u2nv · · Score: 1

      Silly Penguins: Chuck Norris IS the kernel.

    6. Re:Looks great but by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 1

      For crying out loud, stop reading this post, and run!

      What's the point? It's allready too late.

      --
      Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
  2. I'll try to get first post... by ergean · · Score: 5, Funny

    but Chuck Norris is already there.

    1. Re:I'll try to get first post... by Zymergy · · Score: 0

      Chuck Norris does NOT post, the threads post to Him!

    2. Re:I'll try to get first post... by FlyingSquidStudios · · Score: 5, Funny

      Threads? When Chuck Norris posts, they're chains.

    3. Re:I'll try to get first post... by Soporific · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, if you can't see him you may actually only be moments away from death!

      ~S

    4. Re:I'll try to get first post... by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 5, Funny

      Chuck Norris does NOT post, the threads post to Him!
      Except for Soviet Russia, where the second reversal makes things normal again.
      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
    5. Re:I'll try to get first post... by omnirealm · · Score: 4, Funny

      > > Chuck Norris does NOT post, the threads post to Him!
      > Except for Soviet Russia, where the second reversal makes things normal again.

      In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris is still Chuck Norris.

      --
      An unjust law is no law at all. - St. Augustine
    6. Re:I'll try to get first post... by cgenman · · Score: 1

      Chuck Norris's posts go to 6.

    7. Re:I'll try to get first post... by jimbojw · · Score: 1

      Invocation of Chuck Norris usually kills a thread on the internet. Alas, what will it take for this one to die?

    8. Re:I'll try to get first post... by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 1

      A swift roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris will usually kill any thread.

      Once he was going to reply to a discussion, and the web site tried to make him login or get an account. After the kick, the entire site disappeared. There aren't even any squatters anymore.

  3. Phirstus Postus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just hadta say yit

    1. Re:Phirstus Postus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wrong. Chezch Nnorriss doesn't have a chin under that beard, he has another fist. POW!

  4. You can't handle the truth... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Chuck Norris can.

    1. Re:You can't handle the truth... by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 5, Funny

      The truth can't handle Chuck Norris.

      --
      Software patents delenda est.
  5. Good luck with that... by PhearoX · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Yeahhhhhh good luck with suing someone over what is clearly (read: the very *definition* of) satire.

    Satire is one of those things that has been so thoroughly proven to be protected, Chuck is a fool to file suit unless this book reaches the point of slander.

    1. Re:Good luck with that... by xtracto · · Score: 5, Funny

      by PhearoX (1187921) Alter Relationship on 09:11 AM December 23rd, 2007
      Chuck is a fool to file suit unless this book reaches the point of slander.

      Please, we should observe a minute of silence for Mr. PhearoX. As, calling Chuck Norris a fool was his last action in this world.

      RIP

      --
      Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
    2. Re:Good luck with that... by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 2, Funny

      Unless of course its actually true and he wants to keep it secret.

      --
      liqbase :: faster than paper
    3. Re:Good luck with that... by aliquis · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Chuck Norris doesn't bend for the law, the law bends for Chuck"?

    4. Re:Good luck with that... by muindaur · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Right about the satire but he does have a valid case if you read the article. They are still using his name and likeness without his permission: even though the book is satirical and they can get out of a defamation suit there is still the matter of his image.

    5. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      eahhhhhh good luck with suing someone over what is clearly (read: the very *definition* of) satire.

      Satire is one of those things that has been so thoroughly proven to be protected, Chuck is a fool to file suit unless this book reaches the point of slander.


      It's PR. He must have the same PR guy as Princce. For years nad years, nothing but exerccise infomercials in the 3am to 5am slot. Dry stuff.

      Now he's trying to inject humor into the commercials; extending his hours and channel coverage; endorsing hate/bigotry political crooks. It's all about getting your name out for maximum whoring.

      What he needs now is a paternatity suit from a blonde bimbo with large gender markers. Too bad Britney's occupied.
    6. Re:Good luck with that... by PCeye · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't stay in the room eulogizing the late PhearoX too long... Chuck may assume you're also guilty by association and kick your ass.

    7. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Agreed. Chuck might as well sue Bruce Schneier because even he can't see the encrypted portions of Schneier's hair.

      AMIRITE?

    8. Re:Good luck with that... by The+Only+Druid · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Again, not necessarily: if the use of his image/likeness are clearly an inextricable part of the satire (and thus not some secondary misappropriation), he's probably doomed.

      This is, basically, no different than The Onion including an actual image of Steve Jobs in a fictional article about his latest device conquering the world. It's satire, and Jobs' image is a part of it. Here, the name and image of Chuckles is inextricable from the satire, so it shouldn't be an issue.

      --
      "Stumble before you crawl"
    9. Re:Good luck with that... by budgenator · · Score: 5, Funny

      PhearoX. is Mr. T in disguise and Mr. T can call anybody a fool.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    10. Re:Good luck with that... by Codifex+Maximus · · Score: 2, Funny

      The suit is already won... Penguin just doesn't know it yet.

      --
      Codifex Maximus ~ In search of... a shorter sig.
    11. Re:Good luck with that... by Perl-Pusher · · Score: 5, Insightful
      From the article:

      Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities, the lawsuit alleges.


      This is where satire ends and defamation begins. I believe I will trust the courts decision over slashdot posts.
    12. Re:Good luck with that... by simcop2387 · · Score: 1

      if its true thats even worse for him since he would have nothing to sue over then.

    13. Re:Good luck with that... by bjorniac · · Score: 4, Funny

      And he's pretty handy with computers.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGBhnYA2h40

    14. Re:Good luck with that... by speaktruth · · Score: 1

      Slander is defamatory language that is spoken; the written form is called libel.

    15. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you fucking kidding me? Nobody is going to be successfully sued for defamation based on a fucking JOKE BOOK.

    16. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Chuckles? You actually called Chuck Norris "Chuckles"? Well, it's been nice knowing you.

    17. Re:Good luck with that... by brianosaurus · · Score: 1

      Mr T vs Chuck Norris... that sounds better than Alien vs Predator!

      --
      blog
    18. Re:Good luck with that... by GregPK · · Score: 1

      Well, if a book pushes you out to be this overconfident cocky SOB that can do anything with just a pinky. If you let shit like that move around the world a bit anyone new you deal with has certain expectations of you that are absolutely impossible to meet. Chuck norris is probably the equivalent of the dali lama. But, nothing out there really shows that.. I'm also guessing the book probably doesn't explain this in a disclaimer..

    19. Re:Good luck with that... by Scrameustache · · Score: 2, Insightful

      This is, basically, no different than The Onion including an actual image of Steve Jobs in a fictional article about his latest device conquering the world. It's satire, and Jobs' image is a part of it. Here, the name and image of Chuckles is inextricable from the satire, so it shouldn't be an issue. I don't think so, because the Onion doesn't publish an all-Jobs book.
      They're using his name and likeness for profit, the fact that they are also using humor doesn't make a difference, IMHO, IANAL, BYOB.
      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    20. Re:Good luck with that... by budgenator · · Score: 1

      I'd have to give Chuck top-billing though; Chuck looked pretty slow since "Delta Force" came out but he still faster than Mr. T since the Comcast commercials. I might even go as far as to say that "Delta Force" era Chuck would have been a good match for "Battle of the Bar-room Bouncers" era Mr. T.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    21. Re:Good luck with that... by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Again, not necessarily: if the use of his image/likeness are clearly an inextricable part of the satire (and thus not some secondary misappropriation), he's probably doomed.

      For a contrary argument (and I'm assuming NOUAL -- None Of Us Are Lawyers): The general public "knows" that you can't just go and put somebody's photograph on the front cover of any book you want, if that person didn't have anything to do with the book. Therefore, to the general public, putting Chuck Norris's picture on the front of the book implies his consent, cooperation, or even material involvement with the book. The general public has a reasonable expectation that this is some kind of licensed Chuck Norris product. Since it is not, Chuck has a valid suit.

      I disagree that this book is the equivalent of a book of blonde jokes, as some other poster said. If it were just a book of jokes, and half of them were all about Chuck Norris, and it didn't have a picture of Chuck Norris on the cover, then Chuck probably wouldn't have a leg to stand on. But this, to me, really does seem to be capitalizing on his name. For all you know, he's not even trying to sue the book out of existence -- maybe he just wants his cut, which will then be donated to one of his charities.

      Imagine the worst-case scenario -- which is probably not the case here, but still -- imagine that most of the "satire" about Chuck Norris in this book with Chuck Norris's picture on the cover was about how Chuck Norris likes to have sex with underage girls. Wouldn't he have a case then? The laws governing satire are not nearly so cut-and-dried as some people on here want to believe.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    22. Re:Good luck with that... by ScrewMaster · · Score: 1

      Regarding your sig, I see I've found another Heinlein fan.

      --
      The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
    23. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Holy shit, that was funny.

      I say we re-do the Chuck Norris thing with Mister T.

      Or both of them, together!

    24. Re:Good luck with that... by Lars+T. · · Score: 1

      Yeahhhhhh good luck with suing someone over what is clearly (read: the very *definition* of) satire.

      Satire is one of those things that has been so thoroughly proven to be protected, Chuck is a fool to file suit unless this book reaches the point of slander. He isn't suing against the satire, he is suing against making money from it. Let's face it, the "author" just collected 400 one-liners from the internet and put a price on it.
      --

      Lars T.

      To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck

    25. Re:Good luck with that... by shimage · · Score: 1

      No one else seemed to point this out, but "Chuck Norris Facts" aren't satire. From dictionary.com:

      satire: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

      It was my impression that people weren't using Chuck Norris Facts to expose, denounce, or deride vice or folly. I would argue that they mock the stereotype of manliness (and Chuck is simply used as the embodiment of manliness), but that it does not go so far as to suggest that those stereotypes are fundamentally flawed (flawed though they may be). I feel that the overwhelming majority of the time people throw that word (satire) around here on slashdot don't really understand what satire is.

      The issue is that people reading the book might think that the "facts" are actually associated with Chuck Norris in some way (they aren't, really), which I think is a valid concern, especially since he finds some of them objectionable. As to whether or not people might think the facts are real, I find that difficult to believe, but there are a lot of truly gullible people out there.

    26. Re:Good luck with that... by jack455 · · Score: 1

      Copyright law doesn't give him absolute mastery over his image, it controls copies of images he owns. It does not control copies used in a parody as long as the parody meets certain legal requirements. People keep posting on this issue without understanding fair use. I understand it's complicated, but do you really think celebrity names and likenesses can't be used in parodies or satires? Did GWBush give his permission to whitehouse.org? How can that site still be up? They "stole" images directly from the whitehouse.gov webpage!

      Sorry for the sarcasm, I apparently need it to communicate.

      Oh, and I almost forgot--IANAL

    27. Re:Good luck with that... by E++99 · · Score: 1

      He's a public figure. A TV/movie star. No one needs permission to use the image and likeness of a public figure. You only need permission from the copyright holder of any photographs.

    28. Re:Good luck with that... by E++99 · · Score: 1

      Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities, the lawsuit alleges.

      This is where satire ends and defamation begins. I believe I will trust the courts decision over slashdot posts.

      That has nothing to do with defamation if it's an obvious joke.
    29. Re:Good luck with that... by azenpunk · · Score: 1

      i would imagine that the Vin Diesel random fact meme proves that it is not.

    30. Re:Good luck with that... by raynet · · Score: 1

      Maybe it is an audiobook??

      --
      - Raynet --> .
    31. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Look, Chuck Norris might not kill you for saying "Chuckles," but there are plenty of us who can and will kick your ass because we hate that name.

      -Chuck

    32. Re:Good luck with that... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thanks for the link! I was looking for that ad.

      Instant classic--maybe in the same league as 'Where's the beef' and '1984'

    33. Re:Good luck with that... by Eli+Gottlieb · · Score: 1

      Unless he has Mr. Rogers to protect him.

      ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY!

    34. Re:Good luck with that... by nasch · · Score: 1

      There is no "non-commercial" restriction on the satire fair use rules (clauses, findings, laws, whatever they are, IANAL either). It doesn't matter if you make a million bucks or nothing; doesn't matter if it's a comic strip or a 3-volume set of books; if it's found to be satire but not defamation, then the plaintiff is not going to get anywhere. Otherwise outlets such as The Onion, SNL, and The Daily Show (as well as many others) couldn't do what they do for long.

    35. Re:Good luck with that... by Scrameustache · · Score: 1

      Otherwise outlets such as The Onion, SNL, and The Daily Show (as well as many others) couldn't do what they do for long. Again: Those don't publish books entirely about one person.
      Those cereal boxes don't use Olympic athletes without their consent, and you don't sell books about living people selling their name for money without their consent. He's peddling those Chuck facts for campaign money, they can't dilute his brand like that.
      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    36. Re:Good luck with that... by orclevegam · · Score: 1

      Using the image of an Olympic athlete to sell cereal is clearly no satire. The only hope Chuck Norris has of winning this lawsuit is he needs to prove defamation of character, otherwise a satire defense is rock solid. You can see a hint of this in the linked article where his lawyer argues that some people might be mistaken (highly debatable) about whether these "facts" are fiction or not, and that many of the "facts" are racist, or otherwise objectionable to the views of Chuck Norris.

      --
      Curiosity was framed, Ignorance killed the cat.
    37. Re:Good luck with that... by orclevegam · · Score: 1

      Maybe a better example would be a book full of those "A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar and..." jokes with a picture of each respective clergy member on the front being sued by the Vatican. You can't separate out Chuck Norris from the jokes, because the jokes are wholly a satire of Chuck Norris. If you read between the lines a little, what this really boils down to is that a number of the jokes in the book have upset Chuck Norris (mentions of racism and other things in TFA), and he's worried that people will assume he authorized the book. I'm not sure if this book has been published or not, but one incredibly simple fix is to just slap a little blurb on the front that says "This book is not authorized by Chuck Norris and is not affiliated with him.", and he'd have absolutely no ground to stand on then.

      --
      Curiosity was framed, Ignorance killed the cat.
    38. Re:Good luck with that... by Watson+Ladd · · Score: 1

      Jerry Falwell thought the same way. Unfortunately the Supreme Court doesn't think so. See Falwell v.Hustler for details.

      --
      Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development.-- Frontinus, 1st cent. AD
    39. Re:Good luck with that... by lamona · · Score: 1

      A certain amount depends on where he files. The article says he filed in Manhattan. New York is one of the states that has a "right of publicity" law. In New York the law only applies to living persons. In California, the "Astaire Celebrity Image Protection Act" protects the use of an image for 70 years after the person's death. So, if Chuck were dead, but still suing, he'd have to do it in California.

      --
      I just read /. for the amusing .sigs
    40. Re:Good luck with that... by Raenex · · Score: 1

      For a contrary argument (and I'm assuming NOUAL -- None Of Us Are Lawyers) Well, this guy is a lawyer. Reading his article, it seems quite unlikely Chuck Norris has a case, considering that the work is clearly satire protected under the First Amendment:

      "Under either a publicity or privacy theory, subjects can recover for some unauthorized uses of their names and likenesses. A problem arises, however, when one person's publicity/privacy rights come in conflict with another person's rights under the First Amendment. Suppose a newspaper publisher wants to place a picture of Cher on the front page of its paper. Is her permission needed? The answer is no.

      Although Cher's name and likeness is portrayed in the newspaper, this "product" is also a form of "protected expression." Products such as books, movies and plays [emphasis mine] are modes of expression protected by the First Amendment. The First Amendment also allows journalists to write about others without their consent. Otherwise, subjects could prevent any critical reporting of their activities. When one person's right of publicity conflicts with another person's rights under the First Amendment, the First Amendment rights are often, if not always, paramount.

      When the likeness of Elvis Presley is used on an ash tray, however, there is no expression deserving protection. The seller of this product is not making a statement or expressing an opinion. He is simply trying to make money by exploiting the name and likeness of Elvis. Since there are no competing First Amendment concerns, the right of publicity in this instance should prevent the unauthorized use of Elvis's likeness. In summary, the law draws a distinction between products that contain protected expression and those that do not."
    41. Re:Good luck with that... by nasch · · Score: 1

      The other reply mentioned the part about how this is (or might be) satire and a cereal box is not. That leaves your claim that having an entire work of satire on one subject is different, as far as these laws are concerned, from one section of a larger work covering many topics. Why do you think that makes a difference? Why would it be OK to have only one chapter of satire about His Chuckness, but a cause for civil action if the whole book is about him?

    42. Re:Good luck with that... by Scrameustache · · Score: 1

      The other reply mentioned the part about how this is (or might be) satire and a cereal box is not. That leaves your claim that having an entire work of satire on one subject is different, as far as these laws are concerned, from one section of a larger work covering many topics. Why do you think that makes a difference? Why would it be OK to have only one chapter of satire about His Chuckness, but a cause for civil action if the whole book is about him? The collective internet oneupmanship of the Chuck facts is satire, but repackaging those and selling them is not satire.
      Making satire is protected, but taking someone's satire about someone else and selling it is not, IMO.
      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

  6. Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Enleth · · Score: 1

    There were jokes about Chuck Norris' kick, Chuck Norris' hair, Chuck Norris' tears, Chuck Norris'... Er, whatever. And now - jokes about Chuck Norris' lawsuits! Who's the first to try?

    --
    This is Slashdot. Common sense is futile. You will be modded down.
    1. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by The+MAZZTer · · Score: 1

      Chuck Norris won his lawsuit before he even filed it!

    2. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      You know why Justice is blind?

      She crossed Chuck Norris.

    3. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by owlstead · · Score: 1

      Chuck Norris is unbeatable; he even takes a suit into a fight.

    4. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by weicco · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well there's already a joke about it.

      Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
      --
      You don't know what you don't know.
    5. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 4, Funny

      I hear he's going to represent himself, since nobody else is worthy of the honour.

      --
      Software patents delenda est.
    6. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Fishead · · Score: 1

      I hear he had to represent himself because he kicked his own lawyer's ass when he saw the bill, then kicked the opposition lawyer's ass to even the playing field.

    7. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Chuck Norris can counter the Chewbacca defense with his bare fists.

      Once, Chuck Norris roundhouse sued a guy so hard, everyone in the courthouse was found guilty. The judge is still paying damages.

    8. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by smidget2k4 · · Score: 1

      Oh that one made my day, props to you!

    9. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by Sergeant+Pepper · · Score: 1

      Chuck Norris is neither the plaintiff or the defendant.

      He's the judge and the jury.

    10. Re:Actually, I'm afraid, it might get all worse... by whuddafugger · · Score: 1

      Chuck Norris is such a gifted legal scholar, he can argue both sides of a case and win.

      --
      http://www.whuddafug.com
  7. Chuck Norris doesn't sue.. by pkadd · · Score: 0

    ..he just demands, thus nobody dears opose him

  8. Reuters suck by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    The story is available on countless other sites who don't have javascript:goToPage(2); instead of a normal hyperlink.

  9. Penguin.... by Chrisje · · Score: 1

    And I already thought the lawsuit over Lady Chatterley's Lover was ridiculous. Oh well, at least it's not the UK government that sued them this time.

    Interesting detail: My web-browser corrected the spelling of Chatterley. Twice. Sheesh.

  10. It's satire at worst by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Informative

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire

    Good luck Chuck. To win this case you have to break new legal ground. You could go down in history with SCO for the creativity of your legal claims. You are a public figure. You have honed your tough guy image and profited therefrom. If comics want to satirize your actions and image, you're fair game. Not only that but Chuck Norris jokes have become something like elephant jokes. In that regard they are somewhat generic. In that regard you are in the same unfortunate condition as a company that loses its trademark because it has become generic. Suck it up tough guy.

    1. Re:It's satire at worst by nametaken · · Score: 5, Funny

      OMG you're so dead.

    2. Re:It's satire at worst by foniksonik · · Score: 1

      I'd say they're more like "You're momma's so fat" jokes... endless variations on a theme... good fun for all until some drunk guy gets offended and punches you in the face (especially when it's Chuck Norris, who must've been drunk when he filed this suit, so watch out Penguin, don't tell Chuck a fat momma joke during the discovery phase).

      BTW, Did you know the world doesn't really spin? It's just Chuck Norris practicing for the globe trotters tryouts.

      --
      A fool throws a stone into a well and a thousand sages can not remove it.
    3. Re:It's satire at worst by RelaxedTension · · Score: 1

      The only reason he was able to push the button to post that comment was that he is an AC and took Chuck 1 extra second to find...

    4. Re:It's satire at worst by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Well, in the US he might have a chance with his case. Especially since he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't obey the Law, the Law obeys Chuck Norris.

    5. Re:It's satire at worst by DerekLyons · · Score: 1

      Yes, satirizing his name and tough guy image is fair game - but using his name and like is not. The line between the two is kinda fuzzy, but it is there.

    6. Re:It's satire at worst by iamhassi · · Score: 1

      "To win this case you have to break new legal ground. "

      not only that, but shouldn't he welcome these jokes? Chuck norris is a washed-up has-been. Maybe these jokes will put him back in the lime-light with the next generation of movie goers, if only to poke fun at his invincible tough guy image.

      --
      my karma will be here long after I'm gone
    7. Re:It's satire at worst by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 4, Funny

      If all these anonymous cowards keep taunting Chuck Norris, he might have to break the internet's backbone.

      --
      Software patents delenda est.
    8. Re:It's satire at worst by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'd rather be a "has been" than a "never been" like you.

    9. Re:It's satire at worst by Bryan+Ischo · · Score: 1

      More like "never been and never will be" ...

  11. Let Mr. Norris be aware of this... by acvh · · Score: 1, Insightful

    .....that were it not for these jokes many people wouldn't even know that he was still alive, or that he even exists at all. Come on now, he sells exercise equipment on infomercials, he doesn't HAVE a "good name" to take advantage of.

    1. Re:Let Mr. Norris be aware of this... by deniable · · Score: 1

      I think he's trying to harness the Streisand effect. Any press is good press.

    2. Re:Let Mr. Norris be aware of this... by saforrest · · Score: 1

      .....that were it not for these jokes many people wouldn't even know that he was still alive, or that he even exists at all.

      Norris has even taken advantage of the jokes himself on occasion. See this video of Norris endorsing Mike Huckabee.

    3. Re:Let Mr. Norris be aware of this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Plus, if you poke around on the internet, you will find that Chuck Norris is a right wing, nut job, douche bag who advocates prayer in school as well as mandatory bible studies. This guy deserves the respect we all give to people like O'Reilly or Rush.

  12. Watch out! by miknix · · Score: 1, Funny

    When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

    1. Re:Watch out! by PixelScuba · · Score: 3, Funny

      I heard he's the only man to ever divide by zero!

    2. Re:Watch out! by psychicninja · · Score: 1

      I heard he's the only man to ever divide by zero!
      That's nothing, he also beat Tetris!
    3. Re:Watch out! by T+Murphy · · Score: 1

      He can beat connect four in three moves.

    4. Re:Watch out! by master_p · · Score: 1

      Yeap. Some Pentium processors by Intel are codenamed CN to honor him...

      By the way, does anybody know what Chuck Norris and Duke Nukem have in common?

    5. Re:Watch out! by Grygus · · Score: 1

      By the way, does anybody know what Chuck Norris and Duke Nukem have in common?


      There will never be a sequel of either?
  13. Of course by Megane · · Score: 1

    ...because Chuck Norris won't stand for people making money off of other people's jokes! I'm sure the author(s) tracked down the origin of every one of those jokes and gave each one of them a crisp twenty dollar bill in payment.

    --
    #naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
  14. Why He Might Win The Suit by MichaelCrawford · · Score: 5, Interesting
    While it's true that parody is fair use, fair use only applies to copyright, not to trademarks.

    The names of famous people are trademarks. If I were to open a restaurant called Chuck Norris' Good Eats, I'd be infringing his trademark, not his copyright.

    This even goes so far that someone else who was not famous, but happened to also be named Chuck Norris could not use his own name as a business name.

    While IANAL, I heard about this on TV, so it must be true.

    --
    Request your free CD of my piano music.
    1. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, Mr Michael Crawford I think you are wrong about trademarks.
      The idea of trademarks is to protect a name in a business area or trade.
      You may have the same name as a British Actor/Singer so you would not be able to get an Equity (actors union) card with that name. If you became Paul-Michael Crawford you could get an Equity Card.

      If my name was MacDonald I could legally open a restaraunt called MacDonald's and sell burgers. What I couldn't do is use the Golden arches on any signage. The name Macdonald preceeds its use by a burger vendor so the can't trademark the name but the Golden Arch is unique to them and is trademarked. If I started a business called 'Pluggh' I could trademark the name as it is 1) not in common use 2) not the name of a person

      IANAL and the above may noy apply in your legal jurisdiction but it does in mine and having just applied for and received a trademark, I have a little understanding of the rules.

    2. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by HoosierPeschke · · Score: 2, Informative

      Well Mr. AC, he is correct. May I point you in the direction of precedent: Fox and the Real Duff Beer and Microsoft and Mike Rowe.

      --
      Mr. Universe: "They can't stop the signal, Mal. They can never stop the signal."
    3. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by SharpFang · · Score: 1

      Actually, the truth is the law is on your side in these cases but it doesn't stop big companies from bullying you and if you can't afford a good lawyer to defend your case, they WILL win. But dollar for dollar in lawyer fees for both sides, the victory is yours.

      --
      45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
    4. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by hey! · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well, it seems to me that parody at least ought to enjoy the same protection against trademarks as it does from copyright -- if anything even more so.

      The purpose of a trademark is to identify goods; the law protects trademarks so that consumers can know whose goods they are buying. If I (being unconnected to MS or Ubuntu whatsoever) marketed a product labeled "Genuine Microsoft Ubuntu", then there are some people who might think that they were buying a Microsoft product which might be more copatible with other MS products. Trademark is ultimately about protecting consumers; and while businesses get certain protections against competitors monkeying with the value of their trademarks, it doesn't preclude commercially valuable, non-commercial speech which might damage the value of a trademark.

      It seems to me that a trademark holder would only have a complaint about a parody if it was represented in a way that might cause the false impression that this book was written or endorsed by the trademark holder. Free expression making use of trademarks in a way not likely to cause commercial confusion shouldn't be considered an infringement. There was a case a few years ago brought against an artist who was modifyig Barbie (tm) dolls, paring them down in a work about anorexia. The court dismissed both the copyright and the trademark claims based on a parody defense.

      What would be interesting is the use of a trademarked persona which was in itself paradoxical. William Shatner has made a second career of mocking himself. While this doesn't necessarily preclude somebody else being paid to mock him, they'd have to be careful to make it clear that they weren't selling genuine William Shatner brand self-parody.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    5. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by Dephex+Twin · · Score: 1

      I'm interested, and I'd like to buy three dozen of your plugghs.

      --

      If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. -- Carl Sagan
    6. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by SailorSpork · · Score: 1

      Then how do people get away with writing "unauthorized biographies"? It uses people's trademarks without their permission, and most people aren't sued for writing one. The big differentiating factor is that these 'facts' are satire, and that the publisher didn't write them. And Chuck himself can't sue about the latter.

    7. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by llefler · · Score: 1

      If I were to open a restaurant called Chuck Norris' Good Eats, I'd be infringing his trademark, not his copyright.

      I wouldn't worry about Chuck Norris. Alton Brown probably knows 100 different ways to cook you. At least with Chuck it would be a quick death.

      --
      It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. -- Harry Truman
    8. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by Anonymous+Meoward · · Score: 1

      And most folks in the entertainment industry have figured this out.

      Case in point: Michael Keaton, whose real name is Michael Douglas.

      --
      --- The American Way of Life is not a birthright. Hell, it's not even sustainable.
    9. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      It seems to me that a trademark holder would only have a complaint about a parody if it was represented in a way that might cause the false impression that this book was written or endorsed by the trademark holder.

      Sure. So what if the bottom line is that Chuck Norris doesn't think the jokes are funny? And that he was planning to publish his own book of Chuck Norris jokes -- or series of books -- and these would include only the Chuck Norris jokes that he thinks are funny and is therefore willing to endorse? It seems like a trivial thing, certainly much more so than getting knockoff rivets for your airplane wing or whatever...but if you make jokes into a commercial commodity, then maybe putting Chuck Norris's picture on a book of the jokes really does imply his authorization/consent.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    10. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by praksys · · Score: 1

      The poster above is almost right - in most US jurisdictions celebrities have a "right of publicity" which works in a similar way to a trademark, and allows them to exclude the use of their name or image for certain commercial purposes. At one extreme factual reports about famous people (news, history, or biography) are protected as free speech. At the other extreme uses in advertising, especially if they imply any sort of endorsement, are not protected.

    11. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by Bartab · · Score: 1

      That's actually because of SAG. Stage names of members must be unique.

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
    12. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit by E++99 · · Score: 1

      While it's true that parody is fair use, fair use only applies to copyright, not to trademarks.

      The names of famous people are trademarks. If I were to open a restaurant called Chuck Norris' Good Eats, I'd be infringing his trademark, not his copyright.

      This even goes so far that someone else who was not famous, but happened to also be named Chuck Norris could not use his own name as a business name.

      While IANAL, I heard about this on TV, so it must be true.

      Yes, that's true. The point of trademark law is to prevent someone from doing business under a name that is the same or confusingly similar to another established trade name. And how that applies to publishing a book of jokes about a celebrity..... it doesn't. The only way they could claim it is if it were passing itself off as authorized by him.
  15. Re:Idiotic by sammy+baby · · Score: 4, Informative

    "Famous name"? Please. Chuck Norris did a cheesy 90s television show and some bad Kung Fu movies. If it wasn't for Chuck Norris Facts, he would have faded into an obscurity brought about by late-night reruns and informercials for TotalGym.


    Okay, not like I really feel like defending the guy, but be a little fair. When Norris retired from competitive karate tournaments, it was with a record of 65-5, which isn't precisely anything to sneer at. Also, whatever your opinion of kung fu flicks in general, I think you'd have to concede that "Return of the Dragon" is a pretty important piece of the genre, even if Norris only played the heavy in it.

    Pity he's such an ass.
  16. Chuck Norris... by djupedal · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...generates his own gravitational field.

    ...doesn't bend spoons w/his mind - he shits them out, all shiny and new, as needed.

    ...once completely sucked a man's eyeball clear out of the socket during a fight in the Philippines - optic never and all. He then spit it out into his hand, handed it to the poor bloke and whispered "I'm betting you NEVER look at me the same way ever again, Hector!"

    ...was born a woman, but decided early on he liked the thought of having hair on his back, so he willed himself into becoming the man is he today.

    ...took-off and landed a shot-up Cessna that had lost its landing gear simply by sticking his feet out of the cabin doors.

    ...chewed his own hand off to get out of hand-cuffs during a hostage situation that involved migrating pygmies. He then sewed it back on, using hair off his back as thread and a straightened paper clip - he burned a hole in one end of the paper clip by stacking disposable contacts onto his left eye, while looking at the clip and staring into the Sun.

    ...once rode a motorcycle backwards uphill in the desert for thirty-five miles in the dark...blind-folded. Of course drunk and with a bladder full of oxygenated white wine.

    ...made long distance phone calls in the 1980's using nothing but his vocal cords to hack the tone-controlled switchbanks.

    ...invented OBEs.

    1. Re:Chuck Norris... by kindbud · · Score: 1

      ... lisps when he speaks. Haven't you noticed it, and wondered, where the hell did that come from?

      --
      Edith Keeler Must Die
    2. Re:Chuck Norris... by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 1

      He actually shits diamonds. Except when he's constipated. Then he shits miniature black holes.

      --
      Software patents delenda est.
    3. Re:Chuck Norris... by notnAP · · Score: 1

      ...generates his own gravitational field.
      Actually, don't we all?
  17. Come On Guys... by Hangtime · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Norris has had good fun with Chuck Norris facts even going as far to cite the ones he liked the most. He has been very hands off when it came to the Internet world. You step over the line when you try to make a book and start selling for a profit. Without his likeness there is no Chuck Norris facts and they can be construed as derogatory. I see no problem here whipping out the lawsuit stick unless the publisher is ready to cut Chuck in for a good portion of the proceeds.

    1. Re:Come On Guys... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeahhh.... Not really. Do I have to cut George Bush in on a book of "Bushisms"? Does Comedy Central pay the Republican Party a cut every time it airs "Lil' Bush"? Bull. He's a public figure, and the material is satire, satire, satire. I don't think half of you understand how much satire is protected.

      Libel/Slander: You are a pedophile.
      Satire: You have sex with baby pandas on the moon.

      One is so silly, that it does not tarnish your good name. Chuck Norris facts are so far out there that only a complete idiot could not distinguish them from reality, so that only leaves a couple of Supreme Court Justices and most of the people that used to watch his show that might be confused. Still, it could never stand up in court.

    2. Re:Come On Guys... by DJLuc1d · · Score: 1

      Exactly. I think this is one of those rare times where throwing the lawsuit bat around is actually justified (or maybe I read too many RIAA articles....)

    3. Re:Come On Guys... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why should someone lampooning a popular character have to reimburse that character for the use of their image? By your logic artists like, e.g. Weird Al should pay the musicians that he parodies because he sells them on albums.

    4. Re:Come On Guys... by Night+Goat · · Score: 1

      I agree. Plus, most of those facts were submitted by people on the Internet who won't be seeing any of the proceeds from the book. I would rather see Chuck Norris get the money than some guy who wants to make a buck off ideas that aren't his.

    5. Re:Come On Guys... by Dolohov · · Score: 1

      I agree -- on the internet, it's just for fun. Nobody's exploiting his image for profit, they're just poking good-natured fun at him. When some publisher publishes a book of "Chuck Norris Facts", some of whom really do make him look bad, all the context goes away. The publisher is simply exploiting Norris and his fans at this point, trying to make a quick buck on someone else's name and other peoples' work.

    6. Re:Come On Guys... by Macthorpe · · Score: 1

      No, because Wierd Al actually asks the artists he lampoons before he sells the albums.

      In the case of his James Blunt parody, "You're Pitiful", the record company that represents James refused to give him express permission, so he released it for free online.

      He actually says that he would probably have been okay to release it, but he respects the wishes of the artist, and that's what Penguin should have done here with respect to ol' Chuck.

      --
      "It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him." - Tolkien
    7. Re:Come On Guys... by shystershep · · Score: 1

      By your logic artists like, e.g. Weird Al should pay the musicians that he parodies because he sells them on albums.

      He does. Well, I don't know if he actually pays them royalties, but he does get prior permission from the copyright holder.

      --
      The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer. - Albert Einstein
    8. Re:Come On Guys... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Exactly my thoughts. From what I've seen he's been a pretty good sport so far, but he has to draw the line somewhere. Maybe the 'Facts' in the book title is the best thing his lawyers can come up with to sue the publishers, but I'm sure his true objection is simply the fact that they're making money off of his name without him getting any cut of the profits.

    9. Re:Come On Guys... by jackpot777 · · Score: 1

      You step over the line when you ...start selling for a profit.


      If only Chuck Norris Facts didn't get there first, by selling t-shirts for obviously way over the amount it would take just to cover the cost of making them.

      Ninety-four t-shirts on sale. For years. And no lawsuit against the website.

      Looks like Carlos Norris is a bit thick.

      --
      Shiny. Let's be bad guys...
    10. Re:Come On Guys... by yotto · · Score: 1

      I am not affiliated with Spreadshirt, but have talked with people who are and, according to them, Chuck Norris owns that shop.

      So, not only should he not be suing, he can actually sue this publisher saying they're cutting into his profit using his IP.

      And yeah, $20 for a text-only T-shirt is extreme.

  18. Re:Idiotic by childprey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Personally I'd be happier if he remained famous for being the guy who got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee

    --
    Everything clever I considered putting here I got from other slashdot sigs.
  19. Re:Idiotic by TubeSteak · · Score: 3, Informative

    So then why the hell does he Uhhh... who said that is his website?
    His official website is http://www.chucknorris.com/
    --
    [Fuck Beta]
    o0t!
  20. I guess.. by deepershade · · Score: 2, Funny

    ..chuck norris can do everything except take a joke :)

    1. Re:I guess.. by proverbialcow · · Score: 2, Funny

      Pffft. Chuck Norris takes whatever he wants, including jokes.

      --
      The only surefire protection against Microsoft infections is abstinence. - The Onion
    2. Re:I guess.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He takes the jokes with good humour.

      He just objects to someone making a profit off his name.

    3. Re:I guess.. by houghi · · Score: 1

      I guess you are wrong : Chick Norris on Chuck norris.

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    4. Re:I guess.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Chuck Norris takes jokes. He takes them out to dinner. ...fail

  21. Jack Bauer doesn't kill cancer.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He harnesses it's deadly power as a weapon against terrorists.

  22. Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by mangu · · Score: 5, Insightful

    My opinion is that Chuck Norris, and that entire model of what it means to be male, is stupid

    Are you aware that the whole "internet Chuck Norris" model may not represent the true person who is known as Chuck Norris?


    Strong people are aware of their feelings and thoughts

    His wikipedia article says that "Norris mentioned in his autobiography that his father had a very serious problem with drinking and "wasn't there" a lot for him growing up. Norris admitted that he loved his father but did not like him. However, he professed that he only felt pity for the man because "that was just how he was, and he missed so much."


    Strong people are cooperative, not adversarial

    The same article says "He also created ... a middle school and high school-based program intended to give at-risk children a focus point in life through the martial arts."


    How does that fit with your own preconceived image of Chuck Norris?



    1. Re:Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by bluephone · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Yeah, you're dead right in what you said. He built up a macho movie image and then used that fame and fortune to help kids in many challenged walks of life. Regardless of what you think of the movies (I was never a fan), his politics (he leans right, I lean left), you have to respect him for being a stand up guy, modest, and never losing sight of what's important, which is making a positive impact on the world. He never went around begging for attention for it either, which is even better in my book.

      Also I find it fitting a poster who was bashing Chuck by his films and some internet jokes is telling us to look deeper. Would you like a dust jacket for that book cover, sir? :)

      --
      jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
    2. Re:Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by JThundley · · Score: 3, Informative

      Another preconceived image of Chuck Norris that people don't see is that of a bible-thumping douchebag. He's afraid that the U.S. government is going to outlaw Christianity, while he believes that the bible *needs* to be tought in public school. He wouldn't create that same secular school program today, it'd be a bible class. listen to what I'm talking about.

    3. Re:Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Haha. I was going to reply with something akin to your post after reading the grandparent. Chuck is a creationist wanker just to the right of Falwell. Children need books, health care, and opportunities for higher education, not the fucking kickboxing[1] for Christ.

      [1] I have intentionally selected kickboxing to annoy people with a fixation on martial arts, Chuck Norris, and general douchebaggery.

    4. Re:Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 1

      Yeah, 1 of his TV show episodes, if not the entire series, had a real stong anti-gang message to it.

    5. Re:Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by uncoveror · · Score: 1

      This suit reveals that Chuck doesn't think his fans are the sharpest knives in the drawer. You'd have to be a special kind of idiot not to realize this kind of stuff is a joke. He may have a point about protecting his own publicity rights, though.

      --
      The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
    6. Re:Let the real Chuck Norris stand up! by TheRealChuckNorris · · Score: 1

      I STAND UP WHEN I WANT TO! I'll create my own gravitation field and resurrect Bob Marley to sing "get up, stand up!" for me!

      --
      Don't F**K with Chuck!
  23. Too late by Superpants · · Score: 1

    Chuck Norris has already won and now owns Penguin. The string of fate flows through his third eye thus making him omnipotent. Any thought, action or desire is his simply by willing it. Chuck Norris will pile-drive you into a human fence post surrounding his expansive fortress in the north pole if you don't agree.

    1. Re:Too late by Solder+Fumes · · Score: 1

      "Chuck Norris will pile-drive you into a human fence post surrounding his expansive fortress in the north pole if you don't agree."

      Finally, the extraordinary abilities of this fellow we call "Santa" begin to make sense....

  24. All he has left by Xelios · · Score: 1

    Really, income from this wave of Chuck Norris jokes is about all he's got left, give the man his cut from the book sales and move on.

    --
    Murphey's fighting Occam, and we're in the stands.
  25. The sad thing.... by edwardpickman · · Score: 5, Insightful

    is he has become a joke but unlike most of the Hollywood hero types he is the real deal. He's won more Karate championships than anyone and is a legitimate star athlete in the sport. His films were rarely all that serious other than maybe the one with Bruce Lee. He had fun making some silly movies and an even sillier TV series but it's sad it's damaged his name. He's not an actor and has terrible tastes in what projects he's taken on. He's made a lot of money at it and not really harmed anyone along the way, with his films and TV series anyway, so I say more power to him. He worked hard for his name for better or worse so he has the right to protect it. It's just too bad he'll be remembered as a third rate action hero instead of the world class athlete he is.

    1. Re:The sad thing.... by Neuticle · · Score: 1

      Chuck a joke? The Norris is never a joke, he is only ever the punch
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      (line)
      /don't forget to tip your waitress

      --
      "Cheeze it!" - Bender
    2. Re:The sad thing.... by abell · · Score: 1

      so I say more power to him
      What!?!? More power to Chuck Norris? That would probably create a singularity and end the world as we know it!
  26. Re:Idiotic by AftanGustur · · Score: 3, Insightful
    The difference is, that the "Chuck Norris facts" is a fansite, he owns "the trademark" and he can "tolerate" that his name is being used by his fans.


    It's a totally different story when someone turns out a book/movie which exploits his name, then it's no longer a fan based material, and I totally agree with him in suing the bastard.

    --
    echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln80~Psnlbx]16isb572CCB9AE9DB03273snlbxq' |dc
  27. Re:Chuck Norris is dead... by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

    Mmmm, George Bush ditched on the Vietnam war, didn't he? Doesn't sound like the Chuck Norris model. Certainly not the mythical Internet Chuck Norris model.

  28. A matter of courtesy by Keyper7 · · Score: 1

    Weird Al Yankovic makes money by parodying other artists. Probably no artist would be successful in sueing him, but usually they don't even think about it because he has decency of letting them know in advance of the parody and ask for their approval. There were exceptions, but those were not intentional. TFA doesn't go into details, but I'm guessing Chuck never knew about the book before its announcement.

    Sueing is a bit extreme, but Spector deserves an earpull. He let his greed overcome his politeness.

    1. Re:A matter of courtesy by budgenator · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said

      Let's see if I read this correctly;
      1. A book as been written by Ian Spector and published by Penguin,
      2. the majority of the content in it has been stolen and/or plagiarized from the internet,
      3. consists tacky and rude Chuck Norris jokes,
      4. The book full of plagiarized material will surely be copyrighted

      and so;
      "Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," ... seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

      Weird Al Yankovic makes money by parodying other artists; but the key concept is he does it, by creating the parody himself with his own sick-warped genius; He doesn't steal other peoples parodies.
      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    2. Re:A matter of courtesy by Scrameustache · · Score: 1

      Weird Al Yankovic makes money by parodying other artists; but the key concept is he does it, by creating the parody himself with his own sick-warped genius; He doesn't steal other peoples parodies. He also contacts the parodied before going ahead with publication:
      Does Al get permission to do his parodies?
      Al does get permission from the original writers of the songs that he parodies. While the law supports his ability to parody without permission, he feels it's important to maintain the relationships that he's built with artists and writers over the years. Plus, Al wants to make sure that he gets his songwriter credit (as writer of new lyrics) as well as his rightful share of the royalties.

      What do the original artists think of the parodies?
      Most artists are genuinely flattered and consider it an honor to have Weird Al parody their work. Some groups (including Nirvana) claim that they didn't realize that they had really "made it" until Weird Al did a parody of them!
      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    3. Re:A matter of courtesy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And Weird Al Yankovic asks for permission for every single one he does.

      So far as I am aware, there is only one care that he did not actually receive permission and still made the parody but this was because the Agent/Label for the group gave it without asking the group who did not want it done. (Specifically Amish Paradise)

      While asking permission might just be polite, it goes a long way to keep people happy with you and not trash your name.

    4. Re:A matter of courtesy by ZerMongo · · Score: 1

      Why does this get modded "Insightful?" You have the complaint quoted: "Defendents misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris' name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit." This has nothing to do with whether or not the author actually wrote the jokes. The issue in question is whether or not it's legal for Penguin to use Norris' name, and as others have pointed out it's clearly satire. You're allowed to use names and likenesses in satire, especially when the person in question is a public figure.

      Norris has absolutely no standing to sue the publishers over their plagiarism - while I don't necessarily like it (and Penguin's been doing this for years, creating compendiums of internet jokes), it has no bearing whatsoever on this case.

    5. Re:A matter of courtesy by Damocles+the+Elder · · Score: 1

      The other thing is that by now, getting a parody by Weird Al is it's own form of (free) advertisement. There's several bands that I wouldn't know existed if not for hearing a Weird Al parody of them somewhere and saying "Hey, that tune is cool, I wonder what the original is?"

    6. Re:A matter of courtesy by E++99 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Weird Al Yankovic makes money by parodying other artists; but the key concept is he does it, by creating the parody himself with his own sick-warped genius; He doesn't steal other peoples parodies.

      So what? IF the book violates copyrights, which is not stated in the suit, they are not Chuck Norris's copyrights; he has no standing to sue. There isn't some kind of legal right to control what jokes can be published about you. Especially when you're a public figure. This is so absurd, I have to wonder if he's getting royalties in exchange for filing the suit, to generate publicity.
    7. Re:A matter of courtesy by iphayd · · Score: 1

      Wierd Al also gets permission. Not because he has to, but because he's a nice enough guy that doesn't want the original artist pissed at him.

    8. Re:A matter of courtesy by budgenator · · Score: 1

      OK I take it real slow
      I make up a ridiculous satirical Chuck Norris joke and post it on the web, somebody publishes it, they violated my copyright not Chuck Norris's; I'm OK because the parody that I made is protected, Penguin may not be protected because it's not their parody. Now because they are publishing infringing and plagiarized material Norris is going to argue that it is unjust enrichment, the other complaints of, trademark infringement, and privacy rights are probably sacrifical; but IANAL.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    9. Re:A matter of courtesy by cgenman · · Score: 1

      Weird Al Yankovic makes money by parodying other artists; but the key concept is he does it, by creating the parody himself with his own sick-warped genius; He doesn't steal other peoples parodies.

      Weird Al also generally gets the permission of the subject of the parody, which covers up any grey areas.

  29. Re:Idiotic by pilsner.urquell · · Score: 0

    """So then why the hell does he"
    Uhhh... who said that is his website?
    His official website is http://www.chucknorris.com/"

    Not true:

    Use whois:

    kevin@dosxx:~$ whois chucknorrisfacts.com

    Registrant:
          www.pattonboggs.com
          2001 Ross Ave. - Suite 3000
          Dallas, TX 75201
          US

          Registrar: DOTSTER
          Domain Name: CHUCKNORRISFACTS.COM
                Created on: 20-DEC-05
                Expires on: 20-DEC-16
                Last Updated on: 03-DEC-07

    kevin@dosxx:~$ whois chucknorris.com

          Registrant:
                Top KIck Productions,Inc
                Top KIck Productions,Inc Top KIck Productions,Inc
                2001 Ross Ave., Suite 3000
                Dallas, TX 75201
                US
                Email: mforshey@pattonboggs.com

          Registrar Name....: REGISTER.COM, INC.
          Registrar Whois...: whois.register.com
          Registrar Homepage: www.register.com

          Domain Name: chucknorris.com

    Both registrants have the same physical address a law firm named Patton Boggs.

    About Patton Boggs
    Patton Boggs has maintained a reputation for cutting-edge advocacy by working closely with Congress and regulatory agencies in Washington, litigating in courts across the country, and negotiating business transactions around the world.

    Some lawyer is going to have a field day with this

  30. Re:Idiotic by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 1

    It's called whois.

    $ whois -H chucknorris.com

    [snip]
          Registrant:
                Top KIck Productions,Inc
                Top KIck Productions,Inc Top KIck Productions,Inc
                2001 Ross Ave., Suite 3000
                Dallas, TX 75201
                US
                Email: mforshey@pattonboggs.com

          Registrar Name....: REGISTER.COM, INC.
          Registrar Whois...: whois.register.com
          Registrar Homepage: www.register.com

          Domain Name: chucknorris.com

                Created on..............: Thu, Jul 17, 1997
                Expires on..............: Sat, Oct 16, 2010
                Record last updated on..: Sat, Jan 27, 2007

          Administrative Contact:
                Patton Boggs, LLP
                Michael Forshey
                2001 Ross Ave. Suite 3000
                Dallas, TX 75201
                US
                Phone: 214-758-1500
                Email: mforshey@pattonboggs.com

          Technical Contact:
                Patton Boggs, LLP
                Michael Forshey
                2001 Ross Ave. Suite 3000
                Dallas, TX 75201
                US
                Phone: 214-758-1500
                Email: mforshey@pattonboggs.com

          DNS Servers:

          ns2.virtupoint.com
          ns1.virtupoint.com

    [snip]

    $ whois -H chucknorrisfacts.com
    [snip]
    Registrant:
          www.pattonboggs.com
          2001 Ross Ave. - Suite 3000
          Dallas, TX 75201
          US

          Registrar: DOTSTER
          Domain Name: CHUCKNORRISFACTS.COM
                Created on: 20-DEC-05
                Expires on: 20-DEC-16
                Last Updated on: 03-DEC-07

          Administrative, Technical Contact:
                Forshey, Michael mforshey@pattonboggs.com
                www.pattonboggs.com
                2001 Ross Ave. - Suite 3000
                Dallas, TX 75201
                US
                214-758-1500
                214-758-1550

          Domain servers in listed order:
                NS1.ROOT-SERVICES.US
                NS2.ROOT-SERVICES.US

    End of Whois Information

  31. Only in soviet russia by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you can sue Chuck Norris

  32. Re:Idiotic by zakezuke · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "Famous name"? Please. Chuck Norris did a cheesy 90s television show and some bad Kung Fu movies. IANACNF (I'm not a Chuck Norris fan). I think the chessy 90s television show you're talking about was Walker, Texas ranger which ran from 1993 to 2001. 5 years is a good run, this cheesy show ran for 8 years.

    As far bad Kung Fu movies, it would see he played in Meng long guo jiang(1972) and a couple of Bruce Lee documentaries. It would seem they often trained together. There would also seem to be a cheesy CB/trucker movie in his history.

    If it wasn't for Chuck Norris Facts, he would have faded into an obscurity brought about by late-night reruns and informercials for TotalGym. Since 2001 he's done two movies, and two made for TV things. He is an action superstar.

    I'm not a fan of the guy, nor his politics, but i'm not going to knock the guy either. He has a very respectable career, and is a very accomplished martial-artist.

    So then why the hell does he have a website hosting them? Near as I'm aware he doesn't host them.

    --
    There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
  33. Informative Troll? by Futurepower(R) · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    Parent Moderation, 2007-12-23, 07:17 PST:
    50% Troll
    50% Informative

    Note that the parent comment intended to express an opinion about how Chuck Norris tries to portray himself. So, it should have said, "... the way Chuck Norris wants you to think about him, and that entire model of what it means to be male, is stupid."

    1. Re:Informative Troll? by baboo_jackal · · Score: 2, Funny

      Parent Moderation, 2007-12-23, 18:20 (GMT-1): 50% Doesn't know when to shut up 50% Whiny 50% About to get roundhoused in the groin by the entire model of what it means to be male

    2. Re:Informative Troll? by KEnderK · · Score: 0

      One hundred and fifty percent?

    3. Re:Informative Troll? by hedwards · · Score: 1

      Obviously Chuck Norris is the one about to do the moderating so there isn't any reason to worry until it reaches 842.65%.

    4. Re:Informative Troll? by baboo_jackal · · Score: 1

      Sorry - I did that wrong:

      Parent Moderation, 2007-12-23, 18:20 (GMT-1):
      50% Doesn't know when to shut up
      50% Whiny
      50% About to get roundhoused in the groin by the entire model of what it means to be male
      625% Chuck Disapproves.

      (Guess who the last 2 are from...)

    5. Re:Informative Troll? by OrangeTide · · Score: 1

      The informative part is "that entire model of what it means to be male, is stupid."

      the troll part are the Bush rants that are completely off topic and are obviously there to provoke a fight. I hope that the person does not take every single thing in life and try to relate it to Bush somehow, that would be a sad existence.

      --
      “Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire
  34. My first thought... by Whip · · Score: 1

    ... is that this book is satire, and thus obviously protected as such, so there's no grounds for a lawsuit here.

    Then I realized... it's not satire if it's all TRUE!

  35. Suing? by Pedrito · · Score: 1

    Well geez, Chuck Norris suing somebody pretty much destroys the tough guy image. I've read the online "facts" before and I'm pretty sure there aren't any that approach, "When Chuck Norris gets mad, he sues."

  36. Another aggregator gets rich off our input by svunt · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Is it just me, or are other people getting kind of sick of providing all the material for someone else to make money from? I know Norris will lose this, and rightly so, but I'm just getting a bit tired off all the pricks capitalizing on our creativity. Off topic, I know....

    1. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by corsec67 · · Score: 1

      /. is making AD revenue off page views including your comment. And then some people even pay, and then post comments, so that /. is making money off them directly and then from the content they might provide.

      --
      If I have nothing to hide, don't search me
    2. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by svunt · · Score: 1

      Yes, yes it is. Very good point. I guess I don't think of /. that way because I can't see the ads and don't subscribe. It also seems less obviously profit-motivated as Digg, for example. It's a tricky area, as any line you draw is arbitrary, and people do need to make a living, and be rewarded for their hard work and/or innovation. That still doesn't make it *feel* right. I'm just venting, really.

    3. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Our?" What do you do?

    4. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 1

      Is it just me, or are other people getting kind of sick of providing all the material for someone else to make money from?
      Do you feel the same way about Wikipedia? Because you know there are a number of people in the for-profit company Wikia that get paid quite well...
      --
      If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
    5. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by svunt · · Score: 1

      I write Chuck Norris jokes for one ;)

    6. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by mosch · · Score: 1

      What does it matter?

      If I made up a Chuck Norris joke, I know for a fact that I will never monetize it. I won't publish it as a cute Christmas gift, or turn it into a fun holiday card. So why should I care that somebody else is willing to do so?

      If my joke's funny, I can have the satisfaction of knowing that I amused a lot of people, and I made the same exact amount of money I was planning to make. No loss. No harm.

    7. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by greg1104 · · Score: 1

      To be fair here, the author is the guy who invented the whole Chuck Norris meme. So while he's certainly aggregated other people's work, it's also true that this particular style of jokes was kicked off my his original set and the popularity of his earlier Vin Diesel site. Which took more creativity: to kick off the whole thing, or to contribute new facts once it was rolling?

    8. Re:Another aggregator gets rich off our input by The+Cydonian · · Score: 1

      The interesting thing about this lawsuit is not that Penguin et al are making money of it all; clearly, I'm sure virtually *all* Chuck-Norris-facts sites out there are selling some sort of ads or the other. What is really interesting that Chuck Norris seems to give a higher standard for books; clearly, when the message moved from the web to a book, he seems to be suddenly concerned.

      Which, of course, is not say his suit is wrong or anything; I can see why it would bother him and all that. All the same, I think it's a rather telling point on how we view different media in general (if I may, indeed, extrapolate Chuck Norris' experience into the wider society); we seem to treat books as something sarcosanct and sacred. The burden of proof is much much higher for books than for the web.

  37. Re:Idiotic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ""Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges."

    So then why the hell does he have a website hosting them?


    D.. D...

    Do you honestly think that chucknorrisfacts.com is owned by Chuck Norris? (Hint: It's not.)

  38. I agree... by DG · · Score: 3, Insightful

    My take on this is that Chuck isn't so much looking for a cut of the proceeds, but objects to the idea of somebody taking an Internet meme and attempting to sell it.

    If that is the case, I'm behind him 100%.

    Not that Chuck needs my support...

    DG

    --
    Want to learn about race cars? Read my Book
    1. Re:I agree... by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 1

      My take on this is that Chuck isn't so much looking for a cut of the proceeds, but objects to the idea of somebody taking an Internet meme and attempting to sell it.

      If that is the case, I'm behind him 100%. So, would you be against Leno doing a few Chuck Norris jokes in one of his opening monologues too?
      --
      When information is power, privacy is freedom.
    2. Re:I agree... by DG · · Score: 1

      Not the same thing at all.

      Leno's jokes are original, written by writers paid to come up with original material, not something scraped off the Internet and passed off as new content.

      DG

      --
      Want to learn about race cars? Read my Book
    3. Re:I agree... by Kamikaze+Chipmunk · · Score: 1

      It costs me nothing to watch Leno on TV. He's not selling me anything by being on my television (although he is the reason I sit through the advertising). Leno makes the same amount whether he's poking fun at Chuck Norris, Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson, Bill Clinton, or George Bush. If he uses an internet meme, it only brings attention to it, and no additional profit is generated. This book does not work that way. To enjoy the entertainment they are promoting requires someone purchase a product specifically intended for that purpose. My television can be used for other things than watching Leno.

      --
      If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. - P.J. O'Rourke
    4. Re:I agree... by Russ+Nelson · · Score: 1

      Not that Chuck needs my support... If Chuck Norris needed your support, he would just take it.

      --
      Don't piss off The Angry Economist
  39. Except this ain't about satire by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If you actually knew anything about the story you would know that Chuck Norris never had a problem with the mythical facts satire itself, he even has quoted his favorites on occasion. He is fine with the satire bit. What he is NOT fine with is that this book by Penguin has collected these facts/jokes about him (jokes the author collected, NOT wrote himself) and now published them for profit using his name (a trademark) and likeness.

    I am also not quite sure that original creators of the various facts appreciate having their work printed without getting a share.

    This seems to be a publisher wanting to make a quick buck of someone elses work using someone elses reputation. Somehow I can't see a jury having much sympathy for them.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

    1. Re:Except this ain't about satire by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      I am also not quite sure that original creators of the various facts appreciate having their work printed without getting a share.

      It's not software. It's the equivalent of a collection of blonde jokes.

      This seems to be a publisher wanting to make a quick buck of someone elses work using someone elses reputation.

      What's wrong with making money, quickly or otherwise? Besides, it's good and healthy for a putatively egalitarian society to make fun of famous people at every oportunity.

    2. Re:Except this ain't about satire by Afecks · · Score: 1

      Yes these people are heartless fiends by... what exactly? Making money off of something that anyone with half a brain could get for free? What sense does that make? You didn't want to charge money for it but you're mad because someone else did? Are you really implying that thinking up Chuck Norris facts is a profession and that "stealing" it somehow harms you?

    3. Re:Except this ain't about satire by cei · · Score: 1

      Hey wait a sec! The law states that you can't copyright a collection of facts (such as a phone book). Does that mean anyone else could publish their own list of Chuck Norris facts and Penguin couldn't sue them?

      --
      This sig intentionally left justified.
    4. Re:Except this ain't about satire by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      The law states that you can't copyright a collection of facts (such as a phone book).
      But does that law apply to fictional facts, or only factual facts?
      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    5. Re:Except this ain't about satire by balazsbela · · Score: 1

      I think that he had a bigger problem with the title. "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" It's kind of misleading for people who don't know about the myths, but I guess those people wouldn't be interested in buying this book anyway.

    6. Re:Except this ain't about satire by DustyShadow · · Score: 1

      If something is presented as factual then it is considered factual as far as copyright law is concerned.

    7. Re:Except this ain't about satire by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Is that a fact?

    8. Re:Except this ain't about satire by orclevegam · · Score: 1

      Close but no cigar. What he has issue with is that several of the jokes in the book are racist or otherwise objectionable to Chuck Norris and he doesn't want to be associated with those views. Now, whether he can defend against that is somewhat in doubt. As I said in another post, the quick fix to this whole thing is for penguin to slap a little blurb on the cover that says the book isn't authorized by or associated with Chuck Norris, and he'd have nothing left to object to.

      --
      Curiosity was framed, Ignorance killed the cat.
    9. Re:Except this ain't about satire by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Re the author's and Penguin's work on this, the book is written by Ian Spector, who runs 4q.cc, which was the original Chuck Norris fact website. As is explained in the introduction to the book, Spector created his site after some Vin Diesel facts starting popping up on the forums on somethingawful.com. After the Diesel facts took off on 4q.cc, Spector created a page where people could submit Chuck Norris facts, too. He read through thousands of submissions and posted the funniest ones to his site, where they could be voted on. All other Chuck Norris fact pages have lifted their content from his site. While he didn't write the facts, he did edit and collect them, and if any one person is responsible for Chuck Norris facts taking over the internet, it's this dude.

      And what's wrong with Penguin looking to "make a quick buck"? Publishing companies, and businesses in general, are always looking to do exactly that.

    10. Re:Except this ain't about satire by ToastyKen · · Score: 1

      If something is presented as factual then it is considered factual as far as copyright law is concerned.

      There. I just restated Dusty's "fact" without permission. Let's see if I get sued. If Dusty's right, then I can't be sued, and if Dusty's wrong, I can. Either way, Dusty's not gonna sue me. :)

  40. The proof that Chuck Norris is mighty... by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 1

    ... will be if he can go back in time and relive his life so that he does not end up a washed-up, litigious, witless never-was whose only real claim to fame was getting beaten up by Bruce Lee in a bad Bruce Lee movie.

    --
    Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
    1. Re:The proof that Chuck Norris is mighty... by Russ+Nelson · · Score: 1

      Oh, and I suppose YOU'RE a 9th-level grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do?

      --
      Don't piss off The Angry Economist
    2. Re:The proof that Chuck Norris is mighty... by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 1

      In your reasoning, only a 9th-level grandmaster can point out that this 9th-level grandmaster is a bonehead?

      I suppose now I have to wait for you to list YOUR credentials before I tell you that you're a bonehead too. :o)

      --
      Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
    3. Re:The proof that Chuck Norris is mighty... by Russ+Nelson · · Score: 1

      I have a 1st Dan black belt in taiji.

      --
      Don't piss off The Angry Economist
    4. Re:The proof that Chuck Norris is mighty... by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 1

      I have a 1st Dan black belt in taiji.


      Is that Tai chi chuan?

      I have a black belt that holds up my pants. :^)
      --
      Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
  41. Re:Idiotic by ruel24 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I actually met and attended a seminar of one of those that did defeat him, Vic Moore (a seriously tough dude!). I was actually a student of John Jelks and George Davis, who were Vic Moore's second and first black belt students, respectively.

    http://victormoore.org/

    I also met Chuck Norris, as a child, at the USKA Grand Nationals back in the 1970's. He was a very nice guy. I don't understand the hatred for the guy. He's never bragged about himself in public the way that Steven Segal has, and he's lived up to everything he's about. He actually was a great champion during his competitive days, and thus struck a bond with Bruce Lee and was featured in one of his films as a result. What's to dislike about him?

  42. Fair Use by nurb432 · · Score: 1

    Sorry, chucky boy.. but satire is considered fair use.

    Be happy someone still cares enough to use your name, considering you are pretty much a has-been at this point.

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    1. Re:Fair Use by cdrguru · · Score: 1

      Unfortunately today on the Internet there are no limits. Perhaps there should be, but there aren't.

      This means that I can write lots of material and have it posted all over the Internet which discloses a lot of embarassing "facts" about someone. How they like to dress up in femle undergarments, how their last girlfriend once said she never went to bed without a magnifying glass and how they once stood outside a door pushing on it for 10 minutes when the door was labeled "pull". Then, all in the name of satire and good fun, we could continue with user contributions in the same vein with all sorts of abberations attributed to this person. Of course, it would be fun to get their cell phone number and publish it - just so people could read off the latest to them.

      Sound like fun? Sure. How about we start with you and see how much fun it is?

      There are no limits on the Internet, and I seriously doubt a lawsuit is going to get anywhere. After all, if all they have is an IP address you can't sue an IP address.

    2. Re:Fair Use by nurb432 · · Score: 1

      If they are *facts* then its fair game, regardless of how embarassing they are.

      --
      ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    3. Re:Fair Use by Sanat · · Score: 1

      how they once stood outside a door pushing on it for 10 minutes when the door was labeled "pull"

      You mean like this guy?

      http://www.metacafe.com/watch/166869/pull_dude_pull/

      --
      And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
    4. Re:Fair Use by dbIII · · Score: 1

      Plagarism is not fair use. This is some guy making money out of Chucks name and other peoples work and taking things, however trivial, out of the public domain and putting them under their own copyright. If I became famous and saw somebody making money from other peoples work using my name as an excuse I would be annoyed as well.

  43. Case closed! by quick2think · · Score: 5, Funny

    When Chuck Norris sues, he brings the verdict, not the charges.

    1. Re:Case closed! by ScrewMaster · · Score: 1

      When Chuck Norris sues, he doesn't even bother to come to court since no jury would rule against him.

      --
      The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
  44. Re:Idiotic by lymond01 · · Score: 1

    a pity he's such an ass

    At a Christmas party last weekend a friend of mine who's a charter pilot flew chuck Norris from northern California to southern. He said chuck was just a normal guy...friendly, polite. They talked the whole trip about family and what they were doing for the holidays, etc. Now chuck may have skeletons in his closet (I honestly haven't researched), but he seems personable enough.

  45. fair use by uxbn_kuribo · · Score: 1

    Wouldn't this fall under the category of parody? I mean, all the publisher should have to do is put a disclaimer on the front to the effect of "This book is not affiliated with Chuck Norris." It should be clear to anyone reading those "facts" that they're not true. This should be thrown out of court, and Chuck should be laughed at. In fact, he's done a bit of parody of his internet fame himself--- that Huckabee ad ("How would I deal with terrorism? Two words- Chuck Norris) clearly exploits it. Go back to curing cancer, Walker Texas Ranger.

    --
    No portion of this post may be rebroadcast without the express, written consent of Major League Baseball.
  46. Damn.. by JustNiz · · Score: 1

    Why doesn't he just go and kick their butts?? He is Chuck Norris after all.

  47. his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 2, Insightful


    I was reading up on the gent IMDB and it would seem there is this bit of trivia

    Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever." There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases - sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.


    In the past it would seem Mr. Norris took "facts" about him very lightly and even commented on his favorites. But to someone who's strongly religious it's often pretty offensive to suggest they are some sort of prophet or have some supernatural ability.

    --
    There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    1. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Isn't "Jesus's Blood" a euphemism for alcohol, or am I getting "Communion" wrong?

    2. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But to someone who's strongly religious it's often pretty offensive to suggest they are some sort of prophet or have some supernatural ability. Well, as someone who lives and breathes in the *real* world, I'm deeply offended that someone suggests the blood of a fictitious character that would have died more than 2000 years ago would have saved both my parents the agonizingly long death from cancer.
    3. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by cumin · · Score: 1

      The *real* world is as you define it. Christ may not be a part of your definition, but Christ clearly is a part of what Mr. Norris would consider to be real. If you choose to believe that God exists and that Christ is God, then your perceptions are quite different.

      You are actually offended that someone would have a perception so dramatically different from your own, and freely speak it, which is the epitome of religious intolerance. Certainly some Christians are guilty of the same and it is just as irrational when they are.

      Our country is founded on the principal of religious freedom, which means that your right to express your view, as Mr. Norris' right to express his view, is protected. In short, your offense, doesn't matter. Mr. Norris' offense has no more significance than your own, but his venue of expressing it was in context, where your expression here is fanatical.

      No doubt you have a legitimate viewpoint to express, but since your offense has no actual import, perhaps you should consider trying to present your view through rational discourse instead.

      --
      Back in my day when we chiseled our bits into stone and sent them by mule train from village to village...
    4. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by dbcad7 · · Score: 1

      As all these "facts", are very obviously humorous exaggerations.. there is no offense to anyones beliefs. All this person has done is taken an opportunity to preach.. They are not offended, merely exploiting a joke thinking that this will somehow make someone turn to christianity, when often doing things like that only worsens their cause... because people do understand jokes, but don't understand people with narrow minds who do not.

      --
      waiting for ad.doubleclick.net
    5. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Here, I'll be offensive. Your stupid magical man in the sky does not exist and you're a fucking idiot for believing in such nonsense.

    6. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "...But to someone who's strongly religious it's often pretty offensive to suggest they are some sort of prophet or have some supernatural ability."

      Well, to someone who's strongly atheist it's often pretty offensive to suggest that Jesus was some sort of prophet or had some supernatural ability. So, what's your point?

    7. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 1

      Our country is founded on the principal of religious freedom, which means that your right to express your view, as Mr. Norris' right to express his view, is protected. In short, your offense, doesn't matter. Mr. Norris' offense has no more significance than your own, but his venue of expressing it was in context, where your expression here is fanatical.

      Norris has the right to express his viewpoint, and so does the AC; that's how free speech works. You have the right to say what you want, and I have the right to tell you you're an asshole for saying it. And in the case of what the AC wrote, I don't think it's fanatical at all -- it is entirely reasonable for him, having watched his parents die a slow horrible death, to be offended when someone else suggests that if they'd just prayed a little harder, they wouldn't have had to suffer. People who believe that anyone should be able to say anything they want without censure (note the choice of words: censure != censorship) just because they couch it in religious language are fanatics themselves, and not at all in favor of religious liberty.

      --
      The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
    8. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      Norris has the right to express his viewpoint, and so does the AC; that's how free speech works. You have the right to say what you want, and I have the right to tell you you're an asshole for saying it. And in the case of what the AC wrote, I don't think it's fanatical at all -- it is entirely reasonable for him, having watched his parents die a slow horrible death, to be offended when someone else suggests that if they'd just prayed a little harder, they wouldn't have had to suffer. We have the right to free speech, but freedom of speech != freedom of accountability. As others pointed out, many Chuck Norris facts border on slander/libel and even worse make Mr. Norris look like Steven Segal.

      But as the GGP was so nice to point out... they are offended when someone says if you do X, Y will happen. Like if you do this ritual I happened to be raised to believe in... you won't die a horrible death. That's pretty offensive. But so suggesting someone has equal metaphysical power to a believer.

      The moral of this story is people, when it comes to matters of religion, are most easily offended, even if they are not active believers.
      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    9. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      As all these "facts", are very obviously humorous exaggerations.. there is no offense to anyones beliefs. I've combed though them and I have to say there are some really offensive ones. Many if not most suggest that Mr. Norris exhibits the same level of overwhelming hubris as Steven Seagal. But at the same time, most are a laugh.

      there is no offense to anyones beliefs. All this person has done is taken an opportunity to preach.. This could be correct, and if so, friends don't give friends religious zealots the excuse to preach.

      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    10. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But to someone who's strongly religious it's often pretty offensive to suggest they are some sort of prophet or have some supernatural ability. To someone who isn't religious, it's offensive to suggest that your religion's particular prophet has some sort of supernatural ability.

      Deal.
    11. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      Well, to someone who's strongly atheist it's often pretty offensive to suggest that Jesus was some sort of prophet or had some supernatural ability. So, what's your point? So you agree things of a religious nature are more likely to offend someone. I couldn't have said it my self.

      For another point which is off topic...

      I often get annoyed at born again Christians who find any possible excuse to share Jesus. They found Jesus and want to share it with everyone. If you need to find Jesus he's behind the fridge.

      I get equally annoyed at born again atheists who find any possible excuse to share it's all just a myth. There is nothing behind the fridge.

      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    12. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by MikeBabcock · · Score: 1

      People who have discovered a personal life-changing belief system of any form should be expected to share it with you. How many Linux users here started preaching the gospel of Linux to everyone they met after finding their computing salvation in it?

      If you get offended by people simply telling you about their beliefs, you have a problem with your ability to process raw data. Upgrade your yacc or gerp so you can grok their news better. (Sorry, that's supposed to be funny).

      I believe that people who can't handle hearing about others' beliefs are a tad unstable in their own. Try objectively listening sometime and then tell them they sound stupid, it works much better than being annoyed.

      PS read my profile.

      --
      - Michael T. Babcock (Yes, I blog)
    13. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Mark+J+Tilford · · Score: 1

      If Hustler won against Falwell, I find it hard to see the court ruling this as slander/libel.

      --
      -----------
      100% pure freak
    14. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      People who have discovered a personal life-changing belief system of any form should be expected to share it with you. How many Linux users here started preaching the gospel of Linux to everyone they met after finding their computing salvation in it? The problem isn't so much with a life changing system. It's with zealots who can't censure them selves when it's clear the listener is not interested. I remember OS/2 geeks being pretty bad in the 486 age. For a whole year not a week went by without someone trying to CONVERT me to OS/2. My rational was simple

      1) My power applications are dos based
      2) I'd have to invest in memory to run it, and based on my testing DesqView does the best job for my application.

      I didn't have a dislike for OS/2, in fact it was a decent product. I appreciated being made aware of it, and even took time out to use it. But after the 50th time it got old really fast esp when zealots intruded lunch, dinner, and personal activities.

      If you get offended by people simply telling you about their beliefs, you have a problem with your ability to process raw data. Upgrade your yacc or gerp so you can grok their news better. (Sorry, that's supposed to be funny). I don't have a problem with people simply telling me about their beliefs. I'm all for attempting to understand people, and part of that is learning what makes them tick. The problem is those who take it upon them selves to be interpersonal marketers of a product or system without regard for anyone else's interest in the subject.

      I believe that people who can't handle hearing about others' beliefs are a tad unstable in their own. Try objectively listening sometime and then tell them they sound stupid, it works much better than being annoyed. That is not my issue, my issue is when a person grasps onto an idea and decides their way is the only way, and must force it upon others is when I take exception. And it is annoying.

      PS read my profile. I did. I'm not anti-Christian which I hope I came across as being frustrated with atheists (nothing behind the fridge) as well as those who have just became born again Christians (he was behind the fridge). I said nothing about Muslims (I live next to a mosque), Hebrews, or Buddhists

      I recommend you watch this. It sort of illustrates my point much better. It's not the religion that bothers me, nor belief.

      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    15. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      I think it's the other way around -- the wine is a metaphor for Jesus' Blood.

      Which makes it all the creepier.

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
    16. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      You are actually offended that someone would have a perception so dramatically different from your own, and freely speak it, which is the epitome of religious intolerance.

      So what would you say, then, to someone whose viewpoint is that the Chuck Norris Facts are real? Original post in this thread was suggesting that Chuck Norris would be offended by such a perception, because of his own religion.

      Oh, and just for fun...

      Our country is founded on the principal of religious freedom

      Here's a mnemonic for you: Principal is referring to the person, because he's your pal. Or not, but at any rate, you should remember it this time.

      What you're looking for is "principle".

      In short, your offense, doesn't matter.

      That sounds awesome if you replace the commas with Shatner pauses.

      Now, back to a more serious discussion:

      Mr. Norris' offense has no more significance than your own, but his venue of expressing it was in context, where your expression here is fanatical.

      I don't get how that was in context at all. That would be like if I told a story about caffeine addiction, and you said, "You know who can cure caffeine headaches? Jesus!" Only Chuck was even more out of context, because it was a joke being made.

      I get that it's comforting if you put everything in the context of your dear and fluffy Lord, but understand that you are doing that, probably without realizing it, and that it can be obnoxious to people who don't share your faith. It's easy to try to hide that faith by saying "We all believe in the same God..." which is great for Judeo-Christian religions (Islam included), but how do you reconcile that with Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Shintoism, Satanism, or straight-up Atheism?

      I'm not actually that easily offended, just making a point.

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
    17. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Woldry · · Score: 1

      Okay, this is off topic and perhaps a bit pedantic, but here goes:

      In Roman Catholic theology, at least, the wine is not just a metaphor. It is the actual blood of Jesus, present in the wine. That is, when the bread and wine are consecrated, they become -- in their total substance -- the body and blood of Jesus, although still under the appearance of bread and wine.

      (Mind you, most other branches of the Christian faith reject this idea, so your statement is not necessarily wrong. And you may consider the notion of drinking Jesus' actual blood even creepier than if the blood is metaphorical.)

      --
      How can a post be modded "overrated" or "underrated" when it hasn't been rated yet?
    18. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      To someone who isn't religious, it's offensive to suggest that your religion's particular prophet has some sort of supernatural ability.

      Deal. a) I didn't share my personal views on religion, only those Chuck Norris had been quoted on. It would seem he's a creationist of some sort.

      b) Well, given that in America most follow one form of religion or another. Christian sects cover about 75% in the poles i've seen. Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, UU tend to make up another 3-5%. Typically surveyed are the Native American religions. Atheist/agnostic tends to make up about 5-15% even throwing Buddhism in there, but among those I suspect there are those who follow some quasi religious traditions.

      So it's pretty safe to say that 4 out of 5 people you meet on the street has some form of religious belief with a belief in some person who had a deep spiritual connection with a higher power and preformed at least one supernatural feat.

      So I say to you AC, with the utmost respect, you're the one who needs to deal.

      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    19. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      As a Jew I'm highly offended by these jokes we've been seeing for the last 2000 years about that Jesus guy's alleged supernatural powers.

    20. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Someone who's that "religious" can probably manage to find offense in something without even getting out of bed, so I don't think we should pay them any mind. Meanwhile the rest of us can carry on enjoying Chuck Norris (and Bruce Schneier) jokes.

    21. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by mgblst · · Score: 1

      Really? And my magical genie in the sky doesn't like people using the word the, so I find that pretty offensive. And of course, because some moron believes it, we should thus pander to their delusions.

      Personally I have had enough lies from strongly religious people, and will not sway my way for their delusions, or any other psychotic.

    22. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      Really? And my magical genie in the sky doesn't like people using the word the, so I find that pretty offensive. And of course, because some moron believes it, we should thus pander to their delusions. I said no such thing. I did suggest a possible reason based on Mr. Norris's quotes but someone else offered a more likely explanation that they are not really offended used this as an excuse to express their religious views.

      Personally I have had enough lies from strongly religious people, and will not sway my way for their delusions, or any other psychotic. Best of luck with that.

      Strongly religious people are not automatically delusional. The worst you can call it is a false belief or a conclusion based on incorrect information. Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy zealots, those who can't grasp you're not buying their version of peace and eternal bliss internally censure them selves when it's bloody obvious someone isn't interested. But I lump theistic and atheistic zealots in the same basket. OS zealots get their own basket, automobile zealots get their own, etc etc.

      A wise person told me once, there is more to life than not believing in something.
      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
    23. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by purplepolecat · · Score: 1

      I was reading up on the gent IMDB and it would seem there is this bit of trivia

      Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever." There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases - sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood. Funny you should mention that - I heard that a long time ago, a bunch of guys wrote a book full of preposterous made-up "facts" about Jesus, and it's still selling really well. Jesus never saw a penny of it, poor guy.
    24. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      Thanks for that.

      That's actually kind of cool -- it's worse than I thought! That doesn't happen often in religion!

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
    25. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by cumin · · Score: 1

      To someone who believes that the Chuck Norris Facts are real: "Really? Do you honestly have any reason to believe that?" Note that it wouldn't be in an angry tone, just asking the hypothetical person to expound on what they believe, because after all, that would require credulity at a level difficult to believe, but certainly make for an interesting perspective. (I would do it in the Shatner pausing style though, because now I believe it makes me sound awesome.)

      Principal vs principle: Got it, thanks. I do strive for nearly decent grammar, semi-accurate spelling and occasional correct word choices. I appreciate the correction.

      On the subject of context, Mr. Norris was being interviewed, speaking on the subject of the Chuck Norris facts, and explaining by example how and why they were wrong. The AC post seems to be intended solely to criticize the beliefs of Mr. Norris in a context where it is extremely improbable that Mr. Norris will have opportunity to respond and, even it were not so unlikely, the general tone is one of "I'm right, you're wrong and you're stupid. Neiner, neiner, neiner!" It might be reasonable to say that Mr. Norris' choice of venue was ineffective and probably a bad method of preaching, but then dbcad7 did say that later, and in a much more effective manner. The AC post is out of context because it doesn't address TFA, and the topic replied to was really about the lack of hostility Mr. Norris displayed in responding to the Internet versions of the jokes. The sole purpose of the contextual quote was to demonstrate Mr. Norris' forbearance. For the purpose of the example the quote could just as well been a bead recipe and Norris a famous chef explaining that his recipe was entirely different. Jumping on a tangential topic as if it were the primary with derisive statements is typical of a fanatic's response.

      I call that type of response fanatical because it has no clear purpose except to advance a personal belief through irrational zeal. The strength of the belief is obvious, but there is a complete lack of interest rational debate on the subject. I've seen such things from preachers and politicians as well, and it always boils down to the same basic argument: Believe me because I am so forceful.

      As to the "we all believe in the same god" type statements, I'm in agreement with you. The people who spew such drivel are either idiots or assume their audience are idiots.

      --
      Back in my day when we chiseled our bits into stone and sent them by mule train from village to village...
    26. Re:his tears tears no cancer cure by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      To someone who believes that the Chuck Norris Facts are real: "Really? Do you honestly have any reason to believe that?"

      This is actually part of a completely separate discussion, which is: What defines "religion"?

      If we can't satisfactorily define "religion", we shouldn't have any laws about it one way or the other. Not that I want every courthouse to have a cross in it -- I'm actually grateful that's not allowed -- but it's a very tricky problem to create unambiguous laws for what's a religion and thus deserves both special treatment and to be separated from the state.

      It might be nice if we could simply separate mythology from state...

      The other possible result is, of course, that "religion" is defined loosely enough that I can just make stuff up and get tax deductions.

      So, that's the kind of ambiguity I was trying to raise, but you completely sidestepped it by being reasonable.

      The AC post seems to be intended solely to criticize the beliefs of Mr. Norris in a context where it is extremely improbable that Mr. Norris will have opportunity to respond and, even it were not so unlikely, the general tone is one of "I'm right, you're wrong and you're stupid. Neiner, neiner, neiner!"

      You're right.

      As I read back through my posts in this story, I'm starting to suspect that I was looking for a fight, as much as the ACs, but trying to hand-pick contexts where I could say something that was not automatically a troll (though perhaps flamebait).

      Your post here was calm, insightful, and refreshing. It reminds me of how I want to be.

      As to the "we all believe in the same god" type statements, I'm in agreement with you. The people who spew such drivel are either idiots or assume their audience are idiots.

      Although I do sometimes want to scream "YOU all believe in the same god" at some of the Middle-East stuff.

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
  48. Re:Chuck Norris is dead... by squiggleslash · · Score: 1

    That's the real George Bush, in the same way as the real Chuck Norris is Carlos Norris, an actor.

    The image is the warrior. The Texan. The man who landed a plane on an aircraft carrier with socks in his pants. "Bring it on". That's the image Dubya's imagemakers cultivate.

    That's what the GP was talking about.

    --
    You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
  49. Re:Chuck Norris is dead... by arivanov · · Score: 2, Informative

    That is not socks mate. Just ask anyone who has been anywhere near carrier group about the "Diaper club". Personally, I do not know how true it is as I have managed to skip as far away from the entire military thing as possible. Many people claim to be true (or that it was true at some point).

    --
    Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
    http://www.sigsegv.cx/
  50. Re:Idiotic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Except he's not going after people who are having fun with his image. Indeed he's embracing it (whitness his mountain dew commercial). He's going after the large corporation who's stealing that work offered up freely for the entertainment of others, and trading on his image. You know what, corporations can pay to use someone elses trademark commercially. It's not Chuck Norris being a dick, it's Chuck Norris not letting a corporation take that which isn't there's for their private commercial interests. You think after the fad has passed, Penguin wouldn't try suing a website which put up some of the jokes collected in their book, which they themselves effectively infringed upon? Please. It's not like the publisher is only going to charge for the price of printing and bookbinding given that all the writing is done for them.

  51. He's suing because by jlebrech · · Score: 0

    he never cries!!!

  52. Re:Chuck Norris is dead... by arivanov · · Score: 1

    Forgot to add... You know when a diaper "inflates" right? If you do not ask any parent...

    --
    Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
    http://www.sigsegv.cx/
  53. He Can Take A joke by Shohat · · Score: 1

    He did take it well.
    Norris even cited the facts he likes best.
    But they are not publishing the book as some joke, these are not a bunch of teens that happen to like Norris jokes and just give out copies of their collection.
    It's a bunch of businessmen, that are about to make good money on the back of Norris and the people that wrote all those jokes.

  54. Mike Huckabee Ads? by handmedowns · · Score: 1

    Isn't this kind of hypocritical since he allowed Mike Huckabee to take advantage of that same reputation using those same exact "Chuck Norris Facts" in one of his ad campaigns? Just search on youtube for chuck norris.

    --
    The road between democracy and tyranny is paved with secrecy in the name of security.
    1. Re:Mike Huckabee Ads? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you retarded? It's not hypocritical to give permission to one person to use your name while getting upset at a completely different person who used your name without your permission.

    2. Re:Mike Huckabee Ads? by handmedowns · · Score: 1

      apparently you're retarded..

      The core of his argument is that these "facts" smear his image. So you can't go let one person "smear your image" while crying fowl that another did the same.

      If the argument alone were that they were using his name, thats fair use. The issue is HOW they used his name.. so you can't set a double standard and say X person can defame you while Y person can't.. because then you agree its not defamation OR you openly admit that you didn't do everything you could to mitigate damages in which case you lose ANYWAY.

      Its like when SCO said "You're all breaking the law by distributing our code under the GPL!!" while distributing that EXACT same code under the GPL. You either A) agree that the code is GPL'd or B) agree that you yourself are guilty of the SAME EXACT THING and therefore didn't do due diligence to protect yourself which most courts would deny you any damages based on suffering.

      Go get some perspective.

      --
      The road between democracy and tyranny is paved with secrecy in the name of security.
    3. Re:Mike Huckabee Ads? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Where do you see such an argument? Straight out of TFA: "Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit." In other words, it's not about smearing his image, it's about profiting off him without giving him any money for it. The defamation claim is only about certain, specific "facts", not the entire collection.

  55. When Chuck Norris sues... by Vanyali · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...he doesn't need lawyers. He's his own lawyer, defendant, and prosecutor.

  56. Re:Idiotic by calebt3 · · Score: 1

    and he's lived up to everything he's about So his tears really do cure cancer?
  57. Trademarks owned by Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    The USPTO lists a number of trademarks owned by Mr Norris including:

    Chuck Norris is... "The Fact"
    Chuck Norris Facts
    Chuck Norris Approved
    Chuck Norris

    He is as is required by trademark law, defending his trademark in order to prevent it becoming generic. He is concerned that his name is being attached to rascist versions of these jokes. It damages his mark to be assosiated with these unauthorised versions. A trademark is a sign of origin for a customer, he does not want customers to be confused at the origin of these unauthorised versions. All he has to do to win is prove that he did not authorise this book.

    1. Re:Trademarks owned by Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      http://www.lfpress.com/cgi-bin/publish.cgi?p=117118&x=articles&s=shopping

      If Chuck can use trademark to control how people use his name and image, then so can every other movie star and public figure.

      The link above is to a story reporting on Lego losing a suit that it brought against another toy maker. Lego claimed trademark on the shape of its building blocks. The Supreme Court of Canada decided that was an abuse of trademark law. Lego could not use trademark law to do what it had previously done with patent law. (The patents had run out which was why Lego was reduced to pulling this stunt.)

      My IANAL guess is that Chuck won't succeed.

    2. Re:Trademarks owned by Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      He is concerned that his name is being attached to rascist versions of these jokes.
      Fact: The dictionary spells it "racist". Because Chuck told it to.
      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    3. Re:Trademarks owned by Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      If Chuck can use trademark to control how people use his name and image, then so can every other movie star and public figure.

      And your point is?

      Lego could not use trademark law to do what it had previously done with patent law.

      ...which is the salient point that illustrates that this case has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Chuck Norris's case. You CAN trademark your name and image. You can't patent it.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    4. Re:Trademarks owned by Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris by RealGrouchy · · Score: 1

      He is as is required by trademark law, defending his trademark in order to prevent it becoming generic. Indeed. If these jokes became generic, just imagine the damage that could be done--not just to Chuck Norris, but to society:

      - Dustin Diamond counted to infinity--twice
      - Steve Urkel is the reason why Waldo is hiding
      - When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Billy Crystal

      Oh the humanity!

      There is only one man who can stop this terror--Chuck Norris.

      - RG>

      (jokes hastily pulled from chucknorrisfacts.com)
      --
      Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
  58. B-but Chuck Norris has no hesitation to quote them by Tax+Boy · · Score: 1

    He's used the Chuck Norris jokes in an op-ed piece to further his christianist agenda: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567

    And he's appeared in a Mike Huckabee advertisement also involving the jokes.

    IAAL. He's gonna lose.

  59. Profiting from someones name by damburger · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Notice how Chuck and his lawyers haven't made a peep about this until someone tried to cash in on an Internet phenomenon. Someone is trying to make a quick buck out of Chuck Norris' fame (i.e. his likeness) without his permission.

    --
    If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we shoot people for Apollo-related non-sequiturs?
    1. Re:Profiting from someones name by JoeInnes · · Score: 1

      In response to your signature: surely "Apollo-unrelated"?

    2. Re:Profiting from someones name by damburger · · Score: 1

      I made it in reference to a BP advert which had a random woman-in-the-street saying "If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we make a car that doesn't (polute)"

      --
      If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we shoot people for Apollo-related non-sequiturs?
  60. Libel vs Satire by cumin · · Score: 1

    Part of the lawsuit distinguishes between legitimate satire and libel. First is the problem with the title:
    The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human
    which is not clearly satire. Ditto for the site also in the suit: www.truthaboutchuck.com.

    Alternatives that would have prevented this suit:

    • 400 Things You Wish You Knew About Chuck
    • 400 Chuck Norris Jokes
    • The Norris 400
    The problem is that they don't have the same punch as calling them "facts" which is because, of course they are not facts, which makes the title of the book and site misleading. It is a portrayal of the jokes as facts, not just for humor. Since that portrayal is intended for marketing, it crosses the line from satire into libel.

    Maybe it is legitimate satire, maybe it is libel, but it's in the realm of plausible that trying to sell the book by using a misleading title is in fact taking advantage of Chuck's likeness. Whether he wins the suit or not, Norris has a reasonable argument.

    Disclaimer: I'm not a Chuck Norris movie fan, but I do think he is a decent guy trying to deal the hand he was dealt in a responsible way and for that I respect him.

    --
    Back in my day when we chiseled our bits into stone and sent them by mule train from village to village...
  61. In Soviet Kickyurassistan... by zogger · · Score: 1

    ...Chuck Norris's law will suit YOU!

    1. Re:In Soviet Kickyurassistan... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      *looks for the -1 Dumb option in the mod box* sigh...oh well I'll spare you this time...

  62. ya think? by djupedal · · Score: 1

    ...may have something to do w/being kicked/punched/head-butted in the head/face/jaw/mouth thousands of times, over the last 40 years and that's not counting the bricks, floors, walls, doors and dashboards he has taken t' the face....?

    Or - he had that lisp when young and was teased about it and bullied - he eventually took self-defense lessons, which led to the current fame and fortune.

    Chuck Norris can read:
    ...raw postscript.
    ...all international barcodes.
    ...two separate Morse code streams - one with each eye...while sending two separate Morse code streams, one with each eyelid, all at one time.
    ...palms with his tongue.
    ...minds with his palms.
    ...braille with the inside surfaces of his toes.
    ...smoke signals in the dark.

    1. Re:ya think? by ShadowsHawk · · Score: 1

      You should have been modded up. This was VERY funny. Thanks!

  63. Chucks Norris Sucks by RandomPrecision · · Score: 1

    He started going downhill when he announced his support for Mike Huckabee.

    Maybe this is just a political move to rewrite "Chuck Norris facts" as actual facts, not comedy.

  64. Re:Idiotic by mangu · · Score: 1

    Both registrants have the same physical address a law firm named Patton Boggs.

    Do you think no law firm has more than one client? At least, considering their published portfolio, it seems these guys will accept anything that comes their way.


    Well, perhaps you have discovered one fact: both chucknorris.com and chucknorrisfacts.com were created by people in Texas. Doh...

  65. Re:Idiotic by Linkiroth · · Score: 1

    You ought to be careful. The OP didn't just get the shit kicked out of him, he got his post deleted too.

  66. Obviously, by fireheadca · · Score: 1

    He's going for the death penalty.

    1. Re:Obviously, by mrjb · · Score: 1

      ...and he'll perform it himself. Single-handedly.

      --
      Visit http://ringbreak.dnd.utwente.nl/~mrjb/growingbettersoftware to download your free copy of the book
  67. To be fair... by Junta · · Score: 1

    In this case, the publisher is making *money* off of it. It's one thing to spout those off for fun on forums and the like, it's another to capitalize on it.

    And I have seen at least one commercial recently where he actively participates in a sort of parody. So he isn't shy of the jokes, just doesn't want other people to profit off him without letting him in.

    --
    XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
  68. It isn't about the satire. by rantingkitten · · Score: 4, Insightful

    He's not suing over the jokes. In fact he's always seemed to take them in pretty good humor and I believe he's quoted some of his favorites in interviews before. The satire aspect doesn't appear to be what has Norris in a snit.

    He's suing some guy who took a bunch of jokes other people wrote, and is now trying to turn those jokes into a profitable venture. Satire is one thing, but unauthorized use of a celebrity's name or likeness for profit is something else entirely.

    It may turn out to be protected speech, as there are a lot of gray areas here. For example, I doubt the National Enquirer gets permission from Brad Pitt (for example) every time they run some BS story about him, but they're capitalizing on his name to sell their magazine.

    I guess we'll just have to see what the courts decide, but it's just incorrect to suggest that Norris is suing random people over some jokes. He's never really complained about any of them until the moment someone tried to use his name for profit, and that's really a different bag.

    And, furthermore, you could argue that since every one of the statements about Chuck Norris is completely true, it isn't satire, but an unauthorized biography of his life. :P

    --
    mirrorshades radio -- darkwave, industrial, futurepop, ebm.
    1. Re:It isn't about the satire. by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 1

      You're right, other people wrote the jokes -- "other people" who are not the guy publishing the book, and (presumably) not Chuck Norris. So it seems to me there's an issue of standing here; Norris himself is not the aggrieved party if the rationale behind the suit is, "Hey, he's ripping off other people's work!" If Norris wants to sue on the basis of slander, or of misappropriation of his name and likeness (neither of which I think is valid: public figure, satire, etc.) that's his business, but any claim that he's suing on behalf of the many contributors to "Chuck Norris Facts" has about as much credibility as the claim that RIAA lawsuits are filed on behalf of musicians.

      --
      The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
    2. Re:It isn't about the satire. by rantingkitten · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Fair enough, but regardless of who wrote the book or jokes, it looks to me like Norris' gripe is that someone is making money off his likeness. Whether or not that's legal (through satire or parody, etc) isn't really what I'm arguing here -- my point was only that it doesn't look like he's targetting the "author" because of the jokes, but because of the profit being generated from his celebrity.

      --
      mirrorshades radio -- darkwave, industrial, futurepop, ebm.
    3. Re:It isn't about the satire. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If its about the content being copied from others, wouldn't this just require finding the said other comments and proving the publisher never contacted any of the original authors?

    4. Re:It isn't about the satire. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "...he's always seemed to take them in pretty good humor and I believe he's quoted some of his favorites in interviews before..."

      As in this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA_hMq-JUOE

    5. Re:It isn't about the satire. by Cajun+Hell · · Score: 1

      someone is making money off his likeness.

      Nevertheless, if it's satire, then it's probably ok. When South Park makes a profit by making fun of Wal-Mart, do they need to pay Wal-Mart? Do they need to pay the Church of Scientology? (Oh wait, except they didn't satirize CoS; they just revealed the trade secrets. :-)

      --
      "Believe me!" -- Donald Trump
  69. Re:Idiotic by pilsner.urquell · · Score: 1

    Do you think no law firm has more than one client? At least, considering their published portfolio, it seems these guys will accept anything that comes their way.
    Of all the law firms in all the world both Chuck Norris' walk into mine. Yep, I'll agree there is a possibility (About as much of a possibility as flipping a coin eight time and having it come up heads/tails 50% of the time).
  70. Re:Idiotic by proxy318 · · Score: 1

    "The guy"? I'm pretty sure there was more than one.

    --
    Saying your "phone ran out of batteries" is like saying your "car ran out of gas tanks".
  71. Tilt, jackpot, bingo! by jlawson382 · · Score: 1

    ...cut Chuck in for a good portion of the proceeds. Five to one says it settles out of court with just such an arrangement.
  72. Bill Brasky! by nmx · · Score: 2, Informative

    If anyone should sue, it's NBC. Half of the "Chuck Norris" jokes are really "Bill Brasky" jokes - in fact the whole meme is a ripoff of those sketches from the late 90's.

    --
    "Well kids, you tried your best, and you failed. The lesson is, never try."
    1. Re:Bill Brasky! by RyanFenton · · Score: 4, Insightful

      ...Which in turn were Paul Bunyan jokes, which in turn were inspired by countless other competitive American legend jokes, which in turn were inspired by countless European tall tale jokes (Baron Münchhausen), which in turn were inspired by countless fantasy folk tales, going back and back to the likes of the Epic of Gilgamesh (about a couple of men so tough, it really does rival Chuck Norris stories) , and likely much further, to the dawn of boasting and storytelling itself. Ryan Fenton

    2. Re:Bill Brasky! by The+One+and+Only · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...and likely much further, to the dawn of boasting and storytelling itself. Ryan Fenton

      Denny Crane!

      --
      In Repressive Burma, it's not just your connection that dies. slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=314547&cid=20819199
    3. Re:Bill Brasky! by RealGrouchy · · Score: 1

      ...and likely much further, to the dawn of boasting and storytelling itself. "Grog so tough he kill woolly mammoth with one club swing"

      "When Grog want to floss teeth, Grog use whisker of sabertooth tiger--still on tiger!"

      "Grog not paint pictures on cave wall--Grog paint movies"

      - RG>
      --
      Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
    4. Re:Bill Brasky! by IonSwitz · · Score: 1

      FYI: "Gilgamesh" is ancient Sumerian for "Chuck Norris".

  73. Chuck Norris... by liquidf · · Score: 1

    ...eats rocks and shits lightning bolts.

    --
    i've had just about enough of your vassar bashing.
  74. So I met Chuck Norris Last Month by Lifyre · · Score: 1

    He came out to our camp in Iraq and I was left with one impression.

    Chuck Norris has soft hands.

    --
    I'll meet you at the intersection of "Should be" and "Reality"
  75. Re:Idiotic by Anomolous+Cowturd · · Score: 1

    Aside from his accomplishments in Karate, Chuck Norris also has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. His fighting credentials are top-notch. Jokes aside, he's a very tough guy.

    --
    Software patents delenda est.
  76. Good choice Penguin by greg1104 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Had they instead tried to release a book based on the
    Bruce Schneier Facts, when they tried to print it they'd have discovered the text was encrypted.

  77. Mod as funny by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Thanks for the laugh man

  78. but by eneville · · Score: 1

    it wasn't long ago when chuck norris was ok with the chuck norris facts... he even rated a bunch... unless that's just hear say. but i guess he does have a point since they're going to make money from this... perhaps he is more pissed off that the community isnt going to benefit from it.

  79. erm by Alfius · · Score: 0

    Wait, Chuck Norris is a real person, noes ways!

  80. The rest of the world disagrees. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Does US Weekly or The Enquirer need to pay Lindsay Lohan because they profit off selling articles and pictures of her breasts popping out of her shirt? Does the Onion need to pay Bush royalties because they make ad revenue through a readership that wants to read the latest fake Bushism?

    No? Then put the lawsuit stick back in your pants, tough guy.

  81. Chuck Norris is a Wuss by wk633 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Chuck can have his roundhouse kicks. Bruce Schneier is the /. role model of choice.

    http://geekz.co.uk/schneierfacts/fact/921/

  82. cash hungry by GregNorc · · Score: 1

    Here's a quote from 2005, from Chuck's own website on the "Chuck Norris Facts" phenomenon: "I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts." Here is Chuck reading a top ten list of the quotes, cracking up as he does so on "The Best Damn Sports Show Ever": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g Maddox had an entire chapter in his book "The Alphabet of Manliness" dedicated to Chuck Norris related humor. Yet no lawsuit then. The site that created the phenomenon, http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ has been selling shirts with his face on them for years, no lawsuit. I'm sorry, but this is a dick move, plain and simple. Chuck Norris has repeatedly and publicly stated he found the jokes funny. Now, when he's finding out that the fanbase who resurrected his career is mostly college age liberals and are none too thrilled with his endorsement of Huckabee, what does he do to line his pockets? Sue one of the people who brought his name back into the spotlight. If it wasn't for Chuck Norris facts, his pockets wouldn't be lined with Huckabee's money anyways.

    1. Re:cash hungry by jackpot777 · · Score: 1

      ...but hang on. This is deeper than that.

      Someone showed earlier that the official Chuck Norris website and Chuck Norris Facts dot come are (drum roll please) ...overseen by the same people in the same building.

      Bit of a coincidence. Of all the places you can register a website through, both happen to be done through Patton Boggs, attorneys at law. Not GoDaddy or some such thing, but a law firm in Dallas?

      So when he says "I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet", is he aware because he gets some of the money from the overpriced t-shirts?

      Kind of a limp-wristed thing to do... have a website set up about how tough you are. Looks like over-compensation for (cough, cough) something, if you ask me. Methinks the man doth try too hard.

      If he were going to sue anyone, why not this site?

      --
      Shiny. Let's be bad guys...
    2. Re:cash hungry by greg1104 · · Score: 1

      The original Chuck Norris facts site was at http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck Note that they also have the Vin Diesel facts, which as documented in the
      Wikipedia page on Chuck Norris Facts were done before the ones about Chuck. You can also see in the Wayback Machine that the 4q.cc site had their original Chuck facts as of November 5, 2005, and my mail archive says I was forwarding that site to my friends by December 8th.

      The http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ site was registered on December 20, 2005, weeks after this had already become a popular Internet meme. Their site is pretty clearly linked with chucknorris.com - in addition to the shared registration info, there's a link right on the facts site to the main one.

      So while it seems true Chuck or someone related to him in a business capacity registered the chucknorrisfacts.com domain to cash in on the popularity of the meme, and it's fair to say someone here is cash hungry, that didn't happen until some time after the original site has already become hugely popular. Saying Chuck made the whole thing up for self-promotion is off base. Now that you've insulted Chuck's manhood, I hope this information helps clarify what you've done wrong during your final few moments on Earth.

  83. oops by GregNorc · · Score: 1

    Forgot to select "plain text". Here's the above post, properly formatted.

    Here's a quote from 2005, from Chuck's own website on the "Chuck Norris Facts" phenomenon:

    "I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts."

    Here is Chuck reading a top ten list of the quotes, cracking up as he does so on "The Best Damn Sports Show Ever":
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g

    Maddox had an entire chapter in his book "The Alphabet of Manliness" dedicated to Chuck Norris related humor. Yet no lawsuit then.

    The site that created the phenomenon, http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ has been selling shirts with his face on them for years, no lawsuit.

    I'm sorry, but this is a dick move, plain and simple. Chuck Norris has repeatedly and publicly stated he found the jokes funny. Now, when he's finding out that the fanbase who resurrected his career is mostly college age liberals and are none too thrilled with his endorsement of Huckabee, what does he do to line his pockets? Sue one of the people who brought his name back into the spotlight. If it wasn't for Chuck Norris facts, his pockets wouldn't be lined with Huckabee's money anyways.

    1. Re:oops by director_mr · · Score: 1

      I don't see how someone trying to protect their image is being a "dick". Chuck Norris has been relatively easy-going with the Chuck Norris phenomenon. In this case he found something that in his opinion crossed the line. So he is taking legal action. You site several precedents where he took no such action, so clearly he isn't doing this to be a jerk.

  84. Chuck Norris Vs A Penguin by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Chuck Norris Vs a Penguin ... now that would make great television

  85. Another Fist under the beard. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    And in that fist, is a lawsuit.

  86. Re:B-but Chuck Norris has no hesitation to quote t by Wog · · Score: 1

    If you cannot differentiate between someone their own trademark to profit and an unauthorized third-party using that trademark to profit without the permission of the holder, then you're not much of a lawyer.

    But you *do* appear to have something against the "christianist agenda". Maybe you were claiming to be an attorney to make yourself look less like an intolerant hypocrite?

  87. Reversal reverses Russia by Hognoxious · · Score: 2, Funny

    In Soviet Russia Chuck Norris overthrows the evil godless commies (by like kicking them and stuff, a lot) thus causing it to paradoxically not be Soviet any longer, but to be free.

    So: with Chuck Norris, Russian reversal reverses Russia!

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  88. Re:Chuck Norris is dead... by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

    Carlos Norris is a world class Karate champion who tried to turn some of that limited fame/real skill into more real fame (and lots of cash) by trying his hand at acting.

  89. This is nuts ! by PenGun · · Score: 1

    Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris before he died. This is common knowledge and I have the actual fight on video eh'.

      You've been making shit up about a ghost for years. That guy with the Pilates stuff cannot posssibly be Chuck. He was a mean mother ... shut your mouth fool.

  90. Re:Idiotic by jgeeky · · Score: 1

    what about when he essentially gives an open endorsement, using the facts for his own publicity and even naming his favorite? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g

    --
    in the immortal words of socrates, "i drank what?"
  91. You have been fooled by publicists. by Futurepower(R) · · Score: 1, Flamebait

    "... used that fame and fortune to help kids in many challenged walks of life."

    Apparently you don't know that celebrities have publicists who find a "charitable" cause for photo shoots. Seeming charitable activity distracts people, easily, from the bad things celebrities do. Bill Gates uses this method.

    Think about it, do you really think that Pamela Anderson is interested in charitable activities? P.A. graphs and calculations: If Pamela continues at her current rate of expansion, this is what she will look like by the year 2023.

    Now my original post, Chuck Norris is dead..., is marked "(Score:-1, Flamebait)" People who live in fantasy worlds are easily manipulated.

    1. Re:You have been fooled by publicists. by Lemental · · Score: 1

      Seeming charitable activity? You, my friend are a special kind of troll. I hope you get modded down.

    2. Re:You have been fooled by publicists. by encoderer · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Do you really think that Pam Anderson, who has been said to suffer from one of the worst treatments of American society -- that is, to be famous but not wealthy -- has actually had an image boost by doing charity work? Similarly, I'm sure Paris Hilton has publicists. Why isn't she out there pounding in nails for Habitat for Humanity?

      I think you're being OVERLY cynical in this regard. Sure, there's reason to be a cynic when it comes it American celebrity. But to suggest that wealthy, famous people could not POSSIBLY want to help there mere plebes at the bottom of the foodchain, that just overlooks the fact that there are a lot of genuinely good people who just so happen to be successful.

    3. Re:You have been fooled by publicists. by DarkAxi0m · · Score: 1

      Similarly, I'm sure Paris Hilton has publicists. Why isn't she out there pounding in nails for Habitat for Humanity?
      Paris Hilton dose not need publicity(money). she was born money, she will die with money.
      No Matter what she dose.
    4. Re:You have been fooled by publicists. by UncleTogie · · Score: 1

      Similarly, I'm sure Paris Hilton has publicists. Why isn't she out there pounding in nails for Habitat for Humanity?

      'Cause she's too busy helping drunk elephants...

      I just wish there was a punchline in there.

      --
      Don't tell me to get a life. I'm a gamer; I have LOTS of lives!
    5. Re:You have been fooled by publicists. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In Soviet Russia, Paris Hilton gets nailed... AND pounded.

      OK... so it's still pretty lame.

    6. Re:You have been fooled by publicists. by bluephone · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Actually, I do know that, I just don't care. I don't care why people do good things, I'm just glad when they do. I'd even have given Paris Hilton the benefit of the doubt had she come through on her word to help ease the transit from jail to the real world for women. She didn't, so fuck her. As for Bill Gates, I think he's a ruthless business man who will do whatever he can to win the game, but I also genuinely appreciate what he's doing in his charitable ventures, and wish him the best there.

      --
      jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
  92. Re:Idiotic by sakari · · Score: 1

    Okay, not like I really feel like defending the guy, but be a little fair. When Norris retired from competitive karate tournaments, it was with a record of 65-5, which isn't precisely anything to sneer at. Also, whatever your opinion of kung fu flicks in general, I think you'd have to concede that "Return of the Dragon" is a pretty important piece of the genre, even if Norris only played the heavy in it. It's actually Way Of The Dragon, where Chuck Norris battles Bruce Lee at the Colosseum. Return Of The dragon may or not may be the name of the US release, when the films were re-released after Enter The Dragon, which was the first movie released in the US, but was made after Way Of The Dragon.

    But anyway, Chuck Norris was the middleweight champion 1968 in karate, and that's something too. And he stayed undefeated until 1974 when he gave up his title himself.

  93. Re:Chuck Norris is dead... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My opinion is that Chuck Norris, and that entire model of what it means to be male, is stupid. Strong people are aware of their feelings and thoughts. Strong people are cooperative, not adversarial Sounds like something a pussy would say.
  94. gotta take it both ways by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    in his films he seems to dish out summary violence to anybody he doesn't like. Which is in itself an illegal activity. Is he going to disown his previous films and make one where he just calls the police and lets the authorities deal with it?

    I'm sorry, you just can't have it both ways.

  95. OK, I'll spell it out for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The courts actually care that the law is used as intended. Using trademark law to do the job of patent law is a misuse of the law. The courts don't like that.

    In this case, Chuck is trying to use trademark law to do the job that he can't do by suing for defamation. I predict that the court won't like that either.

    Trademark law is intended to protect the public from confusion. The classic case is Apple. Apple music (the Beatles) sued Apple computers. The courts held that the public wouldn't be confused because Apple and Apple weren't in the same business. Apple (Beatles) was in the music business and Apple (computer) was in the computer business. No chance of consumer confusion at all ...

    A trademark does not protect all uses of the trademark. If it did, nobody could report unflattering news about any companies. That clearly isn't the case.

    As always, IANAL. If Chuck wins this one, it will significantly change the legal landscape. I don't think that's going to happen.

    1. Re:OK, I'll spell it out for you. by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      As always, IANAL. If Chuck wins this one, it will significantly change the legal landscape. I don't think that's going to happen.

      Change the legal landscape? I don't see that at all. This seems to be a completely valid use of trademark, to me. Chuck Norris is in the business of being a celebrity entertainer. The public could easily make the assumption that a book full of jokes with Chuck Norris's name and photograph on the cover has something to do with Chuck Norris. This book had nothing to do with him; it's just using his name and image to capitalize on his business. Seems pretty clear-cut, to me.

      Similarly, you can't put out your own brand of motor oil and call it "Mario Andretti motor oil" on the basis that Mario Andretti is a public figure who drives a car. It implies an endorsement by the public figure.

      Likewise, if you tried to publish "Yoda's Book of Knock-Knock Jokes"(*) without getting the go-ahead from Lucasfilm Ltd., I'd expect a lawsuit.

      (*) Q: Knocking, I am.
      A: Who's there?
      Q: Police, it is.
      A: Police who?
      Q: Stop telling awful knock-knock jokes, police do.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
  96. Re:Idiotic by Port999 · · Score: 1

    I have met Chuck on three or four occasions, and he has never been anything but considerate and polite to me. The man regularly donates his time and money to needy children too. I guess the world needs more "asses" like Mr. Norris.

  97. Re:Idiotic by turing_m · · Score: 1

    Or at least used to be. At age 67, his speed, reflexes and joints would be a lot worse for wear than most men under age 35. His strength would be inferior to a young, trained fighters of similar size. He'd probably still administer an asswhooping to most untrained young people, especially if he knows how to grapple.

    --
    If I have seen further it is by stealing the Intellectual Property of giants.
  98. How the conversation must have gone... by Cervantes · · Score: 3, Funny

    Here's how the conversation at the publisher must have gone:

    "Hey, Jim, did you see this funny Chuck Norris shit on the internet?"
    "Yeah Bob, I did, it's funny shit. Let's turn it into a book and sell it!"
    "Awesome, it will be the best Chuck Norris book ever! Hey, do you think we should ask Chuck Norris if we can publish a Chuck Norris book?"
    "Nah, fuck him, what's he gonna do?"

    (sadly, these were the last words Jim and Bob ever spoke. Bob blinks that he's very, very sorry. The doctors think Jim is blinking too, but no-one wants to look into his arse to find out.)

    --
    If I knew the wedgies I gave you back in 6th grade would have resulted in this . . . I might have taken a moments pause.
    1. Re:How the conversation must have gone... by catdevnull · · Score: 1

      I think it's the ONLY Chuck Norris book ever--or, at least the only one that sold more than 2 copies. Chuck wants part of the action.

      Evidently, Chuck Norris' lawyer causes bank accounts to bleed.

      [funny post, btw]

      --

      I might know what I'm talkin' about, but then again, this is Slashdot...
  99. Re:Idiotic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Well, he leans right, so lefties might dislike him for that reason.

  100. Re:Idiotic by zakezuke · · Score: 1

    If it wasn't for Chuck Norris Facts, he would have faded into an obscurity brought about by late-night reruns and informercials for TotalGym. I should add that it does seem that Chuck Norris does endorse TotalGym. (please note the home page has an annoying flash audio on pop up hence the deeper link). His official site also promotes the total gym.

    I concede some cheese factor with the Hollywood endorsement of a product.
    The Mountain Dew commercial also has some cheese factor but the Texas Ranger Project and Bells of Innocence(2003) are excellent examples of a person who's relative fame has permitted him to participate in and generate vehicles promoting his religious and political viewpoints. Even that Dew commercial is another good example of someone who has enough in the way of clout to do their own thing.

    Again, IMNACNF. I disagree with many of his political and religious views but I do have some respect for the guy. Middleweight Karate Champion, decent film career, and some effort giving back to the community via the KickStart program. It may be possible that Chuck Norris facts may have increased some interest in the Texas Ranger series, but his own actions stand for them selves. He could step out of the limelight and retire but chooses not not.
    --
    There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
  101. Other favorites-- by bdjacobson · · Score: 2, Funny

    -Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
    -Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

  102. I don't know what's sadder... by Joce640k · · Score: 1

    The fact that he sued or the fact that the book exists in the first place.

    Seriously... who'd buy that?

    --
    No sig today...
    1. Re:I don't know what's sadder... by Woldry · · Score: 1

      I could see myself buying it as a gag gift for, say, my father, who liked Norris' TV show immensely and is completely computerphobic. (I haven't, mind you, and don't really intend to, but I could see myself doing it, if I didn't have better options available for gifts for him.)

      --
      How can a post be modded "overrated" or "underrated" when it hasn't been rated yet?
  103. Doesn't even need an ethernet cable by empaler · · Score: 3, Funny

    He just stares at the screen. The internet won't dare not turn up, even if the screen isn't even powered. Or working.

    1. Re:Doesn't even need an ethernet cable by eugene+ts+wong · · Score: 1

      I guess when Chuck Norris says that his internet is down, then that means he roundhouse kicked the entire internet, because the internet never showed up?

      On an unrelated note, Chuck Norris is the only person who can legitmately say, "...my internet...".

  104. Step 4: Profit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Chuck sells his own apparel sporting Chuck Norris facts. Not only is this book using his image, it's cutting into business.

  105. "HELLO?!" mod option by oldhack · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    We really need that. The above post is plain stupid, sheer dumbness, not flame bait, not troll, just dang stupid.

    --
    Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
  106. Re:You probably like Dennis "UFO" Kucinich by oldhack · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Calling you a dumbass would be an insult to intellectually-challenged donkeys.
    And to other dumbasses.
    --
    Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
  107. Re:Idiotic by Joebert · · Score: 1
    I'm calling BS, when I tried a whois all I got was

    Roundhouse kick to the face !
    Followed by a BSOD, on a Debian box, with no monitor.
    --
    Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
  108. Re:Idiotic by sammy+baby · · Score: 1

    You know... you're right. I happen to hate his politics with a passion, but there's little doubt in my mind that his heart is in the right place.

    I retract that statement and apologize. (You know, as if Chuck cares what I think of him.)

  109. This is "news that matters"? by sgage · · Score: 3

    Who the hell cares about Chuck Norris? What the hell is this doing on Slashdot? This is ridiculous.

    1. Re:This is "news that matters"? by mgblst · · Score: 1

      What do you expect for christmas eve man... Beggar shouldn't be choosers, or maybe you could go get some friends and family to hang around.

      Still, you are correct.

  110. Chucky by gorba · · Score: 1

    Chuck Norris doesn't take the law into his own feet. He calls his lawyer.

  111. Wait, the title is not correct.... by erKURITA · · Score: 0

    s/sues/roundhouses/ s/sued/roundhoused/ Fixed

  112. Re:Idiotic by User+956 · · Score: 1

    what about when he essentially gives an open endorsement, using the facts for his own publicity and even naming his favorite?

    That's chucknorrisfacts.com, (which chuck norris owns at this point, see the WHOIS). Ian Spector has nothing to do with that website. Ian Spector scraped the facts from all over and compiled a book, basically stealing everyone else's work and trying to make a profit off it.

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
  113. I've tried twice... by petrus4 · · Score: 1

    to make threads on the WoW forums demanding that a statue of Chuck Norris be erected at the centre of the Crossroads in the Barrens...I felt that it was only appropriate to commemorate Chuck's contributions to the culture of that zone, and WoW in general.

    Blizzard deleted both threads, unanswered.

    For shame, Blizz...you should know better.

  114. How did this one get +5 Insightful? by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

    Have you actually seen any of the "Chuck Norris Facts"? Here's one:

    "Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called 'The Islands.'"

    I mean, some are quite a bit more disgusting, sure. But how can anyone actually seriously think this is an effort to defame him?

    --
    Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
  115. Thank god by AbRASiON · · Score: 1

    Those stupid 'facts' were lame about 12 hours after the first one was ever posted.

    Also Chuck Norris may have been the propular one but if I recall Vin Diesel was the original star these things were targeted at.

  116. Mod parent up! by Woldry · · Score: 1

    This is one of the most insightful comments made so far in this entire discussion.

    Not to defend Norris -- I think he's overreacting here -- but the behavior described in the parent post is exactly the sort of thing that publishers (of books, music, etc.) pull all the time. Disney does it -- takes works that have been part of the public imagination for centuries (esp. fairy tales), stripmines them for ideas, and then sues the pants off anyone who tries to make derivative works out of their derivative works.

    I'm not a big fan of overprotective legislation and litigation regarding intellectual property. But I'd love to see something happen (not sure what) that would make publishers think twice before trying to defend their own ripoffs from being ripped off.

    --
    How can a post be modded "overrated" or "underrated" when it hasn't been rated yet?
  117. Re:B-but Chuck Norris has no hesitation to quote t by jackpot777 · · Score: 1

    Maybe you were claiming to be an attorney to make yourself look less like an intolerant hypocrite?

    by Wog (58146) Alter Relationship on Sunday December 23, @02:28PM
    ...said the person with one HELL of an offensive username.

    Seriously. Wog? You arse.
    --
    Shiny. Let's be bad guys...
  118. Watch our for Bruce Schneier by madbawa · · Score: 1

    I soon see Bruce Schneier http://geekz.co.uk/schneierfacts/ following suit (no pun intended)

  119. Re:Chuck Norris is GWB's socks... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    LOL!

    On Soviet aircraft carrier, pants are (ROFL) in your socks!

  120. Re:Good luck withMr. Rogers... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    PLease! Don't knock Mr. Rogers- untl you've heard the truth!

        TRUE STORY:
    Never mind those fake stories about Lee Marvin and "Capt" Kangaroo! It's a little-known fact that Rock Hudson fought at Iwo Jima and was one of the guys in that famous photo of the Marines raising that flag on top of Mount Errobutt.
        Rock is the Marine at the extreme left, pressing hard against the Marine in front of him.

        As well, that's where Rock first met Jim Nabors, who was an instructor in hand-to-hand combat. Very few marines could go up against Nabors, and they quickly gave up once he growled "Now- your ass is MINE!"

        They were known (privately) amongst themselves as the "Gay Battalion" and soon became notorious amongst the Japanese soldiers, who quickly decided they would rather fight to the death rather than be captured by these marines! It was only much later that the US High Command found out this true reason why the Japs fought to the death.

    Hudson and Nabors were both awarded Red Hearts for their minor wounds received while in hand-to-hand combat with the terrified Japs. (Nabors apparently broke several fingernails)

    "RED" Heart, you may ask?

          Well, it was originally red. But Rock immediately demanded that the name of the medal be changed to the "Purple" heart, and the Generals wisely complied with his request, over the objections of the effete Lee Marvin and that cowardly private who later called himself "Captain" Kangaroo!
      And we might add that more complaints also came from "Mr" Rogers, who always had some lame excuse for not being up at the front with Hudson and Nabors - E.G. "Golly kids, someone stole my flak jacket, and all I have is this warm sweater and some Pinoqachole to protect me!"

      Trivia: Rock Hudson and Capt. Nabors were instrumental in getting Liberace to come to Iwo Jima, and later Okinawa, to entertain the exhausted marines with his deft keyboard style.

        Liberace liked playing for the troops so much that he stayed for several months and got a job as cook in the Officer's mess, after punching out the original cook. The officers thereafter fondly referred to him as "The Cook Socker" ...

          Noble lads all!

        IF YOU LOVE THE U.S. MARINES, PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO ANYONE WHO MAY NOT BE AWARE OF THE TRUE FACTS!

                PARTICULARLY A MARINE!
    (and don't believe any www.snopes.com articles that may attempt to refute this story of the TRUE heroes! )
      Send this on if you please, nothing will happen to you if you dont; but will tell what a HERO that Rock Hudson is made of!

  121. Re:Idiotic by forgotten_my_nick · · Score: 1

    I think you need to watch some of his later walker texas rangers episodes which were just excuses to pimp his exercise machine. Or maybe his news anchor job on Fox, or that he wants Bible studies put into US schools.

  122. There is no "Chuck Norris website" by gr8scot · · Score: 1

    Chuck Norris allows parts of the Internet to deal with other topics, as long as they don't cross him.

    --
    All 19 hijackers were known terrorists 09-10-2001. Lack of FBI intelligence does not justify warrantless wiretaps..
  123. Save Tux! by SJ2000 · · Score: 1

    I had an incredible urge to backup every single Tux related file in my possession after hearing Chuck Norris was going after penguin.

  124. Re-reading it: by hummassa · · Score: 1

    satire: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

    It was my impression that people weren't using Chuck Norris Facts to expose, denounce, or deride vice or folly.

    Using your own definition: yes, CNF are used to expose AND deride folly.

    --
    It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
  125. Not so bad... by blacklagomorph · · Score: 1

    Penguin should feel fortunate Norris is only suing them and not giving them a roundhouse kick to the face.

  126. Flamebait Informative Troll? by Futurepower(R) · · Score: 1

    At present, the parent post is moderated:

    50% Flamebait
    30% Informative
    20% Troll

    Perhaps there should be a special way of treating moderation when there is substantial disagreement.

  127. Chuck will win by ubuwalker31 · · Score: 1

    Yes, there are exception to a persons "right of privacy" in regard to a "right of publicity". Most notable, are the exceptions to satire and parody. However, US courts recognize that this free speech protection must be balanced against intellectual property rights. So, there is a very strong argument that printing a book of jokes of this nature is essentially using his name and likeness purely for profit, and not satire and parody. I don't think that Chuck should be able to get the book yanked from the shelves, but he should get part of the royalties for the book.

  128. Very interesting. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    In the past it would seem Mr. Norris took "facts" about him very lightly and even commented on his favorites. But to someone who's strongly religious it's often pretty offensive to suggest they are some sort of prophet or have some supernatural ability.


    So if we give Chuck stories/facts 2000 years to be passed around and he could become a prophet? Won't we need a new dark ages where most info is lost to have this happen?
  129. Re:Idiotic by jgeeky · · Score: 1

    I understand that, however the "facts" are roughly the same, regardless of their medium. Perhaps Chucky is just looking for a pay day. It clearly isn't the content of these "facts" that has Mr. Norris upset, given that he has openly accepted them, and, as you say, even owns a website displaying them. The statements aren't Chuck's own original material, and certainly others have derived revenue from these statements, even if only through pay-per-click (et al) types of webvertisements. As for Ian Spector's theft, that is another issue. However, Mr. Spector isn't being sued by the intellectual property owners, he's being sued by Chuck Norris.

    --
    in the immortal words of socrates, "i drank what?"
  130. Chuck Norris Has A Distro... by ZiggyStardust1984 · · Score: 1

    ...and the only command available is kill

  131. All I know is during last year's Daytona 500 by DRAGONWEEZEL · · Score: 1

    The light turned green and .1 second later chuck had lapped all the other cars 499 times, paused and did a victory lap before he ran over and saved a kitten by roundhousing a tree in Canada.

    --
    How much is your data worth? Back it up now.
  132. Re:Why He Might Win The Suit - in New York by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    A certain amount depends on where he files. The article says he filed in Manhattan. New York is one of the states that has a "right of publicity" law. This means that Chuck has the right to NOT let other people make money off of his image.

    It starts with the "Right of privacy" law, Section 50 of the Civil Rights code:

    "50. Right of privacy. A person, firm or corporation that uses for advertising purposes, or for the purposes of trade, the name, portrait or picture of any living person without having first obtained the written consent of such person, or if a minor of his or her parent or guardian, is guilty of a misdemeanor."

    Then goes on more in Section 51:

    "Any person whose name, portrait, picture or voice is used within this state for advertising purposes or for the purposes of trade without the written consent first obtained as above provided may maintain an equitable action in the supreme court of this state against the person, firm or corporation so using his name, portrait, picture or voice, to prevent and restrain the use thereof;..."
    However, this section goes on with a large number of "nothing in this law" statements, including this one which could allow a fair use defense:

    "Nothing contained in the foregoing sentence shall be deemed to abrogate or otherwise limit any rights or remedies otherwise conferred by federal law or state law."

    In New York the law only applies to living persons. In California, the "Astaire Celebrity Image Protection Act" protects the use of an image for 70 years after the person's death. So, if Chuck were dead, but still suing (which of course Chuck could do), he'd have to do it in California.

  133. Re:Idiotic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Fucking hell, there is internet in the afterlife, too?!

  134. Hustler Magazine v. Falwell by damncrackmonkey · · Score: 1

    The Hustler parody featured a picture of Falwell, and an "interview" in which "Falwell" describes his first sexual experience as occurring "with Mom" in an outhouse while both were "drunk off our God-fearing asses on Campari." In the spoof interview, "Falwell" goes on to say that he was so intoxicated that "Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation," that he decided to have sex with his mother since she had "showed all the other guys in town such a good time," and that they had intercourse regularly afterwards. Finally, when asked if he had tried Campari since, "Falwell" answered, "I always get sloshed before I go out to the pulpit. You don't think I could lay down all that bullshit sober, do you?"

    This was accompanied by a disclaimer that it was a parody, and the US District Court of West Virginia found in favor of Hustler on the libel charge, but in favor of Falwell on the intentional infliction of emotional distress charge. The Supreme Court reversed the decision as they found that the lower court's decision "runs afoul of our longstanding refusal to allow damages to be awarded because the speech in question may have an adverse emotional impact on the audience." Hustler Magazine v. Falwell

    Chuck Norris doesn't have a chance.

  135. Re:B-but Chuck Norris has no hesitation to quote t by Wog · · Score: 1

    I encourage you to provide evidence that I am misrepresenting myself in some way.

    Whereas an individual claiming to be a lawyer who demonstrates his lack of knowledge about all things legal is certainly questionable.