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You, Too, Could Be Batman In 10 To 12 Years
jmcbain tips a fascinating interview in Scientific American with a professor of kinesiology and neuroscience (and a 26-year practitioner of Chito-Ryu karate-do). The question was, how much training would it take for a normal person to become Batman? The professor says: "You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess... In terms of the physical skills to be able to defend himself against all these opponents all the time, I would benchmark that at 10 to 12 years." The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death — or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."
and replace them as they 'fail' ... that way we've always got a batman.
Dangerous? Yes. But way cool.
The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination
- Douglas Adams
I wouldn't mind training for the rest of my life for such a job.
The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death â" or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."
So, after all that, we should all stick to our day-jobs? Thanks Slashdot, you saved us again!
Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
It's only 90 days from being a weakling to stopping bullies from kicking sand in your face. Isn't that what most nerds here really seek?
I've still yet to figure out how I can get things like "Bam, Pow, Biff, Boom" to pop out in the air when I hit people. I think that would require more training than anything else.
when you can just get hit in the head.
.sdrawkcab si gis siht
10 to 12 years for the physical training, but Batman was more than physical ability. He was in a position to determine right and wrong. That takes a lot longer to learn and not everyone is capable of such a task.
My money would definitely be on the Joker or Riddler against a "professor of kinesiology and neuroscience (and a 26-year practitioner of Chito-Ryu karate-do)".
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.
10-12 years to get all that spare cash too? I think we should train Bill Gates to be batman. How long until I can be Iron Man?
That's BS. The Adam West Batman lost and got captured tons of times. That's when his utility belt's contents really got interesting!
But I doubt that many people have the finances or drive to keep up such a regime until you achieve your goal. And thats what separates the world class people from the rest of us.
Of course some people do have a natural ability that also gives them a benefit. So I doubt a really short person could ever be competitive in a world class basketball - unless there was a league for really short people.
I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
Staying on top of his game is all part of his psychosis. If you hadn't noticed, he's a bit of a whackjob himself.
meh
And am awaiting the panel at Comic-Con.
And did not become Batman. I started at age 33 and by age 39 I had been in Physical Therapy 3 times; once for neck pain and twice for hip pain. I was not very flexible when I started training and was equally inflexible when I stopped. At least I didn't get much worse.
On the plus side, for a while I was reasonably confident in my ability to defend myself in a fair fight against a similarly skilled and otherwise unarmed person. It's now been another 6 years I'm quite out of practice and out of shape.
So as usual, YMMV.
-- Boycott Shell
First Reality TV, now this? What a sad joke on the decline of American relevance.
you had me at #!
I am batman.
pop science is important. it is a gateway to serious science for many youngsters and average joes
you are dismayed it does not feature serious science
ok, so go read something else
why the hate for a magazine of pop science?
it serves a valuable function. are you angry that some obscure technical journal is not popular? so why are you angry that a piece of pop science is doing what a piece of pop science must do?
if it is serious science, it is relegated to obscurity, as a rule. because it needs to be digested for the masses, where anything popular takes place
why don't you understand this?
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Yeah, the character has an almost super-human physique. And yes, he's got a big pile 'o cash that helps him afford the toys and tools he uses during his "night job". But there's more to it.
Wayne can out-think any of his opponents. His schtick is that he's 5-10 steps ahead of anyone. If he gets into a fight, he's already out-thought the opponent and knows exactly how the fight's going to end.
That's harder to teach. You could work someone for years so that they're at the peak of physical ability, and then dump a cubic f'load of cash on top of them. But they'd still be missing that keen tactical mind that Wayne has.
Jason Van Patten
Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a way, this was liberating. He no longer has to worry about being the baddest motherfucker in the world. The position is taken.
Reviewing just the first hour of video games.
...more than a couple of attackers, and you're in trouble. Facing ten bad guys, short of some super-exo-skeleton that boosts your strength and armours your body against instantaneous impact and sustained pressure and torsion, you're going down hard, quickly. And no, they don't always helpfully attack one or two at a time: watch half a dozen cops taking down a violent drunk some time.
And if you're facing multiple bad guys with no possibility of escape, the only credible strategy is to try to put at least all-but-one of them down so hard they no longer present a threat. That means at least knocked out or injured seriously enough that they can't fight, not the cutesy pain compliance stuff. If they are weak and clueless when it comes to fight, you are fit and highly skilled when it comes to fighting, you can find some sort of weapon, you are lucky with the environment, and there aren't too many of them, you might just do this for long enough to create an opportunity to escape. Maybe, if you're really lucky.
But it's a fun read, I'll give it that. :-)
If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
When I was trying out for Force Recon, I was trying to explain to a civilian friend what they did, and I compared them to the navy seals. My friend laughed and said "no way Force Recon is similar to the seals." While not many Marines have, I have worked with seals, and my conclusion is this: "If you take someone with the right mental willpower to learn things and the right physical dedication, the only difference is the kind of training you give him." Basically, though seals are much more amphibious and deal much more with explosives, the only difference between Sgt. Kill in the infantry and that guy is the amount and quality of training given to him. It costs an awful lot to train people, especially the more "awesome" the training is. So if you took a good Marine and trained him to be Batman, I think it would only take a couple years, tops. Enter the Batman Batallion, ooo, I crack myself up sometimes...
"It's ok, I'm completely secure as long as my iron is off"
How long would it take me to become Two-Face?
How much 'articles' does it take to, coincidentally, advertise the new Batman movie?
When you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
For those of us already in our 30s, we'd be over the hill in 10-12 years.
It's much more likely that we'd be end up more like Captain Jackson, Zetaman, Captain Prospect or some other "real life superhero"
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
Yeah, and I remember when Slashdot actually posted articles that were NEWS for Nerds, and Stuff that MATTERS. There are a disturbing number of articles like this that make the front page these days.
You're, like, totally black there, kettle.
to sleep?
I went to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight last night and managed to fall asleep with an hour left in the movie and wake up just in time for the credits to roll.
Sigh.....
If I can not smoke in heaven, then I shall not go. -- Mark Twain
The Batman workout video collection...
How much will you pay for this?
900$?
NO!
500$?
NO!
For a limited time, just two easy payments of one parent!
Good.. Bad.. I'm the guy with the gun.
Becoming the Punisher would take a lot less than 18 years. All you need is some sneakiness, decent marksmanship and the prudence and stamina to run away before the cops show up.
Burt Ward (Robin) "fought" Bruce Lee (Kato) to a draw in an episode of Batman or The Green Hornet.
So anything's possible.
I went to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight last night and managed to fall asleep with an hour left in the movie and wake up just in time for the credits to roll.
What kind of city do you live in where you can see a midnight showing of Dark Knight and not also have access to coffee 24 hours a day?
Where does he get those wonderful toys?!
although the wikipeda article actually refers to it as Biopunk.
Paul Di Filippo's book of that name includes a short story where there are drugs that would enable one to climb a skyscraper, but depending on the dosage, not enough to climb back down.
...vividly encapsulates that post-Watergate/pre-punk/coked-up moment when you could trust no one, least of all yourself.
I think what I liked most about Batman Begins is that it gave a reasonable explanation as to why Bruce Wayne would dress up like a bat. As much as Batman is a skilled fighter, he is also good at using psychological warfare on his opponents. Consider that during the fight at the docks, he had been playing enough mind games on the crooks that they were off balanced when he attacked them in a large group.
Now granted in real life most people would piss their pants laughing at a guy dressed up like a giant bat (also a viable attack strategy) but the idea is that batman is such a terrifying character that you are thrown off and are easier to take down.
The world isn't run by weapons anymore, or energy, or money. It's run by little ones and zeroes, little bits of data.
And don't forget the difficult in finding a steady, evenly-spaced series of dastardly but colorful villains to fight, each time managing to defeat them in a way that results in their death without actually killing them outright.
Then there's the several bit players who provide moral guidance to Batman, and also provide key bits of help at certain plot points, which makes up for their propensity to put themselves in danger on a regular basis.
And don't get me started on how hard it is to find a good sidekick!
What if I do the same thing, and I do get different results?
Hang out in the YMCA locker room and you can be Robin in under 5 minutes.
Eloi are stupid, throw morlocks at them!
That just takes a spray of acid to the face or a dunk in a chemical vat. No training time whatsoever.
On another note, I get peeved by everyone ignoring Batman's "World's Greatest Detective" moniker and generally accepted reputation as one of DC Universe's smartest humans. Everyone focuses on Batman's physical skills where, in "reality", having keen observational skills and an intellect allowing superior strategems probably alleviates a lot of the need for ultimate physical skills.
Remember that when the US education system is criticized.
The US educational establishment has become not much more than a political patronage system.
And look who squeals like a stuck pig whenever that patronage system becomes threatened.
Batman's really only cool because of his enemies.
Batman vs the purse snatcher or Batman vs the social welfare fraudster etc, would get pretty boring after about a week.
Clearly "You, Too, Could Be The Joker In 10 To 12 Years" is required , or maybe just some freaky chemistry.
Then again, an "if you build it, they will come" universal harmony thing might apply...
Genesis 1:32 And God typed
http://www.forbes.com/digitalentertainment/2005/06/20/batman-movies-superheroes-cx_de_0620batman.html
http://xrl.us/batman
Being Batman
David M. Ewalt, 06.20.05, 7:28 PM ET
Dark clouds have gathered over Gotham. Crime is rampant, despair is
widespread and no one is safe. Who will rescue the metropolis from
itself, fight the forces of evil and save the good people of the city?
Why don't you do it?
Plenty of us would love to fight for truth and justice--if only we had
magic powers or mutant genes. We all love superheroes. Last weekend,
Batman Begins was the No. 1 film in the U.S., pulling in $71.1 million
over its first five days. The Batman movie franchise is also one of
the most lucrative of all time, with five movies (not counting Batman
Begins) grossing nearly $1 billion.
OK, so he also has a couple billion dollars. Batman's alter ego, Bruce
Wayne, is an old-money heir and the owner of Wayne Enterprises, a
massive international-technology conglomerate. In our Forbes Fictional
Fifteen, we estimated his net worth at $6.3 billion. If he were a real
guy, he'd be the 28th richest person in America, right behind News
Corp.'s (nyse: NWS - news - people ) Rupert Murdoch.
Wayne uses his riches and corporate connections to equip himself with
the latest and greatest in military hardware, and uses those tools to
help him fight villains like the Joker, the Riddler, and Ra's Al Ghul.
But you don't have to be a billionaire to become a caped crusader.
Using commercially available training, technology and domestic help,
the average guy could conceivably equip himself to become a real-world
superhero, provided he's got at least a couple million to spare.
What would it cost to become a real-world Dark Knight? Click here.
The Training
Cost: $30,000
You'd better be ready to defend yourself if you plan to take on all
the thugs and super-villains that call Gotham home.
In the new movie, young Bruce Wayne goes to Tibet on the mother of all
study-abroad trips and ends up learning the martial arts from a group
of vigilante ninjas called the League of Shadows. But similar training
is available to those not lucky enough to get plucked out of obscurity
by Liam Neeson.
A good place to start would be an internship at the birthplace of kung
fu, the Shaolin Temple in Henan, China. One month of training at the
prestigious Tagou school costs about $740, including a private room
and training with a personal coach. It'll take a while to get good
enough to stop the Joker's worst thugs, though, so count on spending
at least three years and about 30 grand for the trip.
The Suit
Cost: $1,585
They say the suit makes the man, and Batman's no exception. Without
his outfit, it'd just be Bruce Wayne running around out there, and
there's nothing particularly scary about a billionaire playboy in his
underpants.
Batman's suit is a modified piece of infantry armor built by the
applied sciences division of Wayne Enterprises. It's waterproof,
bulletproof, knife-proof and temperature-regulating. Paired with an
impact-resistant, graphite-composite cowl and spiked ninja-style
gauntlets, it allows Batman to protect himself against everything from
swords to machine guns. Wayne Enterprises also supplies Batman with
his cape, a specially designed nylon-derivative fabric that stiffens
when hit with an electric charge, allowing Batman to use it as a
glider. All this doesn't come cheap. In the new movie, Wayne's told
that the armor alone costs $300,000.
Real-world superhero wanna-bes will have to go with a much more
prosaic solution. We recommend a lightweight ProMAX OTV bulletproof
jacket, which will cover your ar
...get bitten by a radioactive spider instead?
Well, don't forget that to truly become batman, you have to witness your rich parents being murdered outside an opera house, or else your twisted sense of justice and reckoning won't develop into a "troubled superhero" complex.
stuff |
gets his back broken.
LOL who would want to actually BE Batman?? It's not like Santa Claus ya know. Kids these days are doin a lot more fun stuff like books on the beach (Damn I wish I could do my work from the beach ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n8gbVasY1c
I did enjoy "play acting" Batman as a kid with my younger bro who used to be "Robin" hehe would be cool to read out loud their comic books
Looking at Scientific American articles from even fifty years ago, let alone a century, shows how sadly dumbed down the magazine has become. It used to target a readership of average citizens who were keen on the nitty-gritty of scientific developments. Now it all flash and no substance, little different from Popular Science. The lesson American media teaches us: nothing good is every ultimately profitable as is.
Looking at /. from even 5 years ago, let alone 10, shows you how lame it has become. It used to be about news for nerds and stuff that matters, now it is just about wannabe nerds whining about Popular Science. The lesson: making useful comments ultimately ever informative as if.
Show a man some news, distract him for an hour. Show a man some mod points, distract him for the rest of his life.
Would that be a RAIB?
Redundant Array of Interchangeable Batmen?
or more like a High Available Batcluster?
My blog
Let's see some hands: How many people have been in a street fight? Against one person? Against two?
When I was young, I was sort of a bad ass. I was a "baby huey" sort of kid. Without working out, I was 6' 210lbs in high school. 32 inch waste 46 inch jacket. I was pretty strong. When I started working out, for football, I started bench press at 210lbs, my weight.
I hung out in Dorchester and South Boston and got in a lot of fights. 1:1 I could hold my own against almost anyone, even the kids who took karate. 2:1, I would usually get my ass kicked unless I could get rid of the first guy quickly. 3:1, no f-ning way you're getting out without serious bruises or broken bones.
Batman is a myth. It can't happen. Kung Foo movies are a joke. Guns are popular because you *can* take on a bunch of people at once. Hand to hand, no matter how big and strong you are, two or three guys are stronger than you.
How long would it take to be Sportacus? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sportacus It would be much easier to stay at the top of your game as you only have to impress the kids.
It used to target a readership of average citizens who were keen on the nitty-gritty of scientific developments
It's bad writing.
SciAM got political and that turned a lot of people off, the same way NYT or WashPost did. They tried to dumb things down while still pretending to be smart and all it did it was anger their core readership and they bailed.
Science has exploded beyond the ability of writers to manage... It used to be that 50 years ago, you could probably have a smattering of what's new in physics and a few other fields, but right now, what's new in physics is a highly specialized thing and it takes way too much to understand what's even old versus what's new. The baseline education of some high school teaches a mathematics based on a level of calculus that's 100 years old at best, physics that's basically newtonian mechanics and chemistry is just doing the old "let's make break up water trick" when right now scientists are looking at individual atoms.
All of this points to a colossal failure in writing. We have a body of technical knowledge that is so disorganized that it takes way too long for humans to really communicate it to each other in order to share the knowledge. Roger Penrose made a heck of a go at it in his book about how everything works, but even he falls into the horrible trap of using bad names for different mathematical constructs. At least biologists got it right when put a taxonomy on species ... but in math we have Fourier Transforms, Newton's Method, and it's just a disorganized mess, and on top of that horrible language, we stack everything we know about the basic laws of the universe.
What the world needs is a bank of good writers that also know math and physics to go in there and get rid of biographically named crap, and organize things in a more direct and intuitive fashion. For the love of god, you can't let a scientist in the field do it, because they are just terrible at naming and organizing.
Writers, step up, and take command!
This is my sig.
Must be somewhere in Utah. Maybe Salt Lake City.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
Mom? Dad? I got you tickets for the show tonight!
What about the expert skills in chemistry? Forensics? Psychology? Research? His business skills? Batman is also a consumate detective, so given his expert skill in these areas how long would it take to get those levels of ability?
You would think a Scientific magazine might also be interested in the mental aspect?
"All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"
This has been tested many times, it seems like 10 years, and/or 10K hours of training, is required to gain mastery at any difficult activity, physical or mental.
I.e. this holds for chess as well as programming, karate, running, rock climbing or orienteering (which is about half & half physical & mental).
Terje
"almost all programming can be viewed as an exercise in caching"
What about the mental component? While the movie Batman Begins didn't do too much with it, Batman's greatest asset is his mind.
He's a genius and one of the greatest minds in the DC universe. He uses it be one of the greatest detectives and occasional research, and use strategies/tactics to take down even the greatest forces (even Superman).
It isn't his physic and toys that let him stand with the greatest heroes and face the most dangerous villains, but his greatest asset: his mind.
Without his mind he's just some generic tough guy.
I was bitten by a radio active sloth and now I can do the laying around of TEN men!
That is, dealing with large strong persons with excessive martial arts experience and lots of attitude.
Cold Fusion
Personal Helicopters
Duke Nukem Forever
Tautologies, they are what they are.
The Dread Pirate Roberts has been doing this for years.
No sig today...
Slashdot readers, I served with Bruce Wayne: I knew Bruce Wayne; Bruce Wayne was a friend of mine. Slashdot readers, you are all no Bruce Wayne.
Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
There's already a backup Batman!
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
Jack Nicholson won't be around to kill your parents for much longer. Being a brooding, dark-hearted, multi-billionaire superhero would be much harder if your mom called you every Sunday afternoon to chat.
My debut novel AMITY now available: http://jeremydbrooks.c
Uncle Enzo doesn't take Raven down; iirc Raven makes it out of the airport and is last seen riding off on his motorcycle. Injured yes, but not seriously and most certainly alive.
It's official. Most of you are morons.
'Nuff said.
and replace them as they 'fail' ... that way we've always got a batman.
Wrong character. That was the Phantom's shtick.
> and replace them as they 'fail'
and replace them as they _fall_
No different from the heroic legends of heroic people doing heroic things from Gilgamesh to Jesus to Zorro to Clint Eastwood's "man with no name."
In realistic terms, a gunfight is just Russian roulette with the other guy holding the gun. Even if you are a skilled marksman, there is a high probability you would die in that one gunfight. If you win, the odds are no better for your next gunfight. If we had the statistics for real people who get themselves involved in multiple gunfights, we'd see a significant winnowing. So why do we have stories featuring characters wading into meat grinder battles and coming out intact? It's the economy of storytelling. It's tough to tell a compelling narrative if all the characters die two minutes after you meet them. So you end up with the silliness of limited plot-specific invulnerability. As Vicious said to Spike in Cowboy Bebop, "You're the only one who can kill me. I go into gunfights with a sword, for fuck's sake. Ok, it's a katana so it does confer a certain badass factor that a scimitar or rapier lacks but seriously, I'm charging gunmen from across a room and slicing them to death without taking a hit. Hell, I bet when I fight you, I'll probably be able to get so close you'll have to parry my strikes with your gun in the most ridiculous fashion possible. And at the end of the fight, you'll kill me because I'm the villain but I'll probably still mortally wound you. Oh, and when my sword catches the light a certain way, the flash will make a 'steel kissing steel' sound, even though I didn't touch anything."
I find that realistic shooter games are good reality checks for just how lethal the battlefield is. Often times you don't see the guy who gets you. There's no telling who even has you in a line of sight at any given time. And there's always the chance for panic. The better shooters can pace the encounters so you're not seeing anyone for a second, then someone comes out of nowhere. The realism is high enough that it makes you jump and spray erratically, just as keyed up as you would be in real life. And damn, you can understand how people can miss at close ranges.
But the other point about the athletic prowess is also astute. A Batman character is not just like an Olympian (note how astounded everyone was that a 40-yr old could compete as a swimmer), he's taking injuries like an NFL linebacker. His body would be destroyed by the he reached middle-age.
But you know, there's one Batman question I've been dying to ask: just where does he find all the buildings to swing off of? Same with Spidey. They could be arriving at a shack in the middle of a salt flat and they'll still be swinging in off of something. What, a convenient low-flying jet?
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
...given a good amount of alcohol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU9hD50Qr4I
and "presenting things in an approachable fashion but still being quite rigorous" strikes me as facetious
so you are saying discover and popular science are unrigorous?
rigorous? that means they can't lie? they can't do stories on pop subjects?
its a pop science magazine you dweeb! always has been!
you're trying to draw meaning out of a change in STYLE
and, all you have to do is look at sciam's own 50/100 year ago page to note that, gee, style has changed quite remarkably over time! how can you expect it NOT to
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
You could work someone for years so that they're at the peak of physical ability, and then dump a cubic f'load of cash on top of them. But they'd still be missing that keen tactical mind that Wayne has.
Exactly. It's not often portrayed in the comics, but Bruce Wayne has extensive knowledge of chemistry, biology, psychology, criminology, etc. He has lockpicking skills, computer skills, skills in all manner of weapons, flight training, etc.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
> The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game
> for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death -- or
> at least not being able to be Batman anymore."
Not really. One of the fiew times I accidently watched that new Justice Leage crap on Cartoon, Hawk girl was walking along with someone discussing their current problem. Quoth she, "I once was disintegrated and had my molecules spread throughout the universe."
That's as dead as dead can get. Being a corpse in the dirt is a day at the beach comparatively. And she "got better"!
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
The ghost that walks. That idea would be closer to reality and easier to pull off because it is an anonymous but hereditary superhero position. As the older phantom slows down, his kid takes over. He also bends to obvious combat reality and packs two .45s. You still get to wear a spiffy leotard suit though, but no cape.
Having his hamstring severed counts as being "seriously" injured.
As soon as I read this post, I thought: Chuck Norris. Maybe you don't have to be at the top of your game for more than a few years. You just need to train people to tremble like a chihuahua in a purse at the sound of your name.
Sounds like a deal to me. I just need to know if the utility belt has a pouch for my AARP card.
Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven.
You mean Raven from That's So Starfire?
I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight - Jayne Cobb
/quote ...In terms of the physical skills to be able to defend himself against all these opponents all the time... /quote
I want to know if the good Professor has ever actually been in a real fight, let alone one where 15 people are trying to beat you down.
For anyone who has ever had the displeasure or seen it happen to someone, they know that what this guy is saying is complete crap.
Unless one possesses an item that gives them a huge advantage (ie automatic weapon), taking on 15 opponents and winning is not going to happen.
Yes Batman has cool toys, but 1/2 the time hes engaged in fisticuffs.
While SA has become "pop science" over the years, this is not "pop science". This is complete fiction.
Lately it seems that all I hear about lately is Batman. I think I've seen about 30 articles about Batman over the last few weeks "you too can be a batman", "what would it take for a mortal to be a batman".
Jesus HFC, get over it, it's a movie.
It's true no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a good raft.
Batman sucks, Sub-Zero rulez! 15 years ago, I wanted to move to china just to learn some ancient arts.
-- Simon said: Die!
Kinda like the scientists that found Wooly Mammoth DNA and thought about re-creating one a'la Jurassic Park, this wouldn't be a smart idea.
One of the things I always loved about Batman was that he was a _man_, not a god: no deep inhalation and sucking all the air off the planet. No flying against the rotation of the Earth to go back in time. If a bullet gets behind the suit, he's as dead as anyone else. And he's driven by the sadness of watching his parents die to a criminal.
It's *entirely* possible to dedicate your life to martial arts, chemistry, and about 100 other hard-skills to make yourself into Batman. But there is no Joker. There is no Gotham. There is just this silly little world so few people understand that we get the desire to LEAVE IT and escape into the movies.
I watched Hellboy 2 last night; it was a lot better than I expected. But even there mentioned a very real truth about mankind: each of us have a 'hole in our hearts' that gives us a greed to do (sometimes weird) things to fill it. Things like car racing, drugs, whoring, gambling...and things like wanting to be Batman. And until that 'hole' is filled, you'll run around aimlessly trying to fill it, but the fill is located in plain sight: Jesus Christ.
Oh, I know...more bad Karma- speaking out of experience, and being an experience this crowd doesn't want, but tough; it's truth. Since I filled the 'hole', I no longer fear death. I don't worry about ghosts because I know who and what they are. I see the world across the centuries for what it is, and have begun to play my own tiny part. I literally _cry_ for the lives of unhappiness that most people live.
I'm just saying: it's real. HE's real. All you have to do is go look for Him and you, too, can fill the hole and considering things like becoming Batman will look like the childish investment of time that it is. What would be so wrong with looking for Him?
Yeah, the world's pretty horrible. It stinks, it argues and it even kills. But this ain't heaven: this is neutral ground, and this is what we make it. Murder someone? Have an affair? Cheat a friend? That's what's making it so horrible: sin. The deviation from our intended role.
So forgive my loving outburst, with intent to give you peace.
--- For a good time mail uce@ftc.gov
I don't see the point. What are you going to use those "skills" for? Any application of martial arts means (1) your life is likely at risk, and (2) you are likely going to have legal troubles.
Martial arts are kind of OK for keeping in shape; for defending yourself, they're useless in a modern society.
The stuff you see on the screen, in the ring (including MMA) will get you killed on the street.
The real martial arts don't in fact take 10 years to train for, they only take a few months to teach the techniques, a few months to practice them until automatic and a few months to get into decent shape to apply them. You see, what you are taught 3 or 4 times a week for 10 years when you attend a typical dojo is almost certainly complete bollocks. It almost certainly isn't effective karate, it almost certainly isn't effective kung fu. In fact it almost certainly doesn't resemble the original material taught by the old masters in any way.
The addition of rules for sparring, competition have removed virtually all of the effective techniques. Few of which are taught any more in the dojo because they are forbidden in competition.
Effective (real) karate, kung fu, tai chi, boxing, wrestling etc are in fact functionally the same thing. Simple and brutal self defence techniques which are easy to apply when the addrenalin has removed all your co-ordination and your opponent's pain sensitivity. Virtually all of the "styles" you see these days are ... Ballet ... Not karate, not kung fu, not tai chi. If you are not practicing and training eye gouging, fishooking, choking, strangling, biting, stamping, headbutting, groin crushing as well as the more sophisticated stuff, you are kidding yourself (and your students if you have the gall to teach any) on.
Unless you train for effectiveness in the dojo, you are seriously going to get your backside handed to you the first time you attempt a spinning reverse head kick on a damp, slippy pavement when some moron and his 4 mates decide you looked at them wrong.
Deleted
Not only do you get to *see* attractive females .. you also get to *hold* onto them!!
Try judo sometime if you want to hold on. Takes a special kind of gal to like to be thrown around.
Not that there is anything wrong with dance classes as a way to pick up chicks mind you...
More like JBOD...
Jump-in Batmen on Duty.
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
But basically it said that with 10,000 hours of training you can go from zero to a world class practitioner in *any* field you choose.
That's a load of crap unless you have a VERY low standard for "world class".
Athletics is an easy example but it applies equally to mental pursuits. I don't care how many hours of training you or I have, odds are you don't have the cardiovascular system to be a top endurance athlete. You are either born with it or you aren't and no amount of training will give it to you if you aren't. Likewise, you either have the muscle composition or don't to be a world class sprinter. Most sports tend to favor a particular physique - you either have it or you don't. Someone the size of an NFL linebacker is never going to win the Tour De France. There is of course an element of training but to get to the top level the right genetic component has to be there too.
There is a wide gulf between being competent and being world class. Very few people have the intellectual horsepower to be even close to the level of a Nobel prize winner or Olympic athlete. Certainly anyone can become more proficient. But world class? Pretty much by definition half the people are below average.
"I don't respect the concept of Batman because of what i understand about politics and that.
I'm going to lay it out for you, Rich dude owns a corporation, has state of the art equipment and he uses this to beat up on street level crime. He doesn't mess with the industrialists or the super capitalists, the Murdock or the Trumps he'd rather just f*ck with the purse snatchers on the corner! Batman is a conservatives wet dream! F*ck batman!"
http://www.monkeyreview.co.uk/index.php/2008/07/18/reginald-d-hunter-on-batman/
Swany http://www.monkeyreview.co.uk/
Don't worry chums, I have my Bat-grammar Nazi Repellent Spray right here on my Bat-Utility belt.
One spray from this canister will take care of him until the authorities arrive.
By the way, this is the thinking behind the ten thousand "immortals" of Xerxes army. His hand picked crack troops were always kept at this number with replacements making up the dead/injured.
You can see one fictionalized representation of them in the movie "The 300". They were the warriors who went up against the greeks wearing the shiny silver masks. As befitting their awesome reputation, they were the first ones to draw greek blood (although they still got slaughtered).
From http://www.tv.com/mythbusters/superhero-hour/episode/1123508/summary.html (and also watching it myself):
Grappling Hook
- miniature motorized ascender: PLAUSIBLE
- concrete piercing grappler: BUSTED
Its possible to have a miniature motorized ascender, however, you will ascend VERY slowly. The martial arts in the batman movies is plausible, but still a little far fetched. The most realistic aspect of batman - why I like him - is his brains. He uses computers, knowledge, and politics to meet his goals.
The trick behind multiple attackers is moving around enough so that they eventually line up and come at you one or two at a time.
Yeah I had my martial arts instructors tell me that too. Problem is that realistically you'll never be on favorable terrain and you aren't good enough to put your opponents down quickly or avoid entanglement. The human body can take a lot of abuse and odd are you'll get tied up with one opponent long enough for the others to get to you.
You *might* escape but that's the best you can hope for. Pretty much you have to hope the exit is close and you can get somewhere safe quickly. I'm not saying you shouldn't defend yourself but recognize that the odds are heavily against you.
Disclosure: I've been a martial arts student for about 20 years. I'm not any sort of exceptional talent but I do have enough experience (including real world) to understand what is possible. Multiple opponent situations are VERY difficult even if you are better armed and much better trained than those you are facing.
"You, Too, Could Be Dr. Manhattan in 10 to 12 Seconds in the Large Hadron Collider"
Your mind is clear / The things that you fear / Will fade with how much you / Believe what you hear
The Art of War discusses this. I seem to recall that you should flee towards the slowest guy and run in such a way that the attackers get spread out so that you can finish them off one or two at a time. If they don't make room, obviously you should force them to (and hopefully you have a weapon).
Also, I think that anyone who has played a roguelike knows the value of finding alleys and hallways that force your opponents to get in line to have their asses kicked.
But if they're competent, you're probably screwed. This is why you shouldn't let yourself get surrounded to begin with. And why things like hallways are invaluable for anyone fighting alone.
In fact, you could have the real king pretend to be the fake king's servant. Of course, George Lucas will claim plagiarism, but you can't have everything.
listen to king of spain, by moxy fruvous...
Seems to me he didn't have to go through 12 years of training to become Batman! If he can do it, surely I can!
Wait, what you do you mean, "stunt doubles?"
i define it as a bunch of assholes who think they are better than other people out of weakness of character and insecurity
certainly not brighter than the average joe
to this extent, your definition of scientific american as rigorous is found wanting and shallow
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Lovely bats, wonderful ba-a-ts,
Lovely bats, wonderful b bats,
Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-ats,
Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-ats,
Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-ats,
Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-ats,
LOVELY BATS (LOVELY BATS)
LOVELY BATS (LOVELY BATS)
LOVELY BA-A-A-A-ATS...
BA-ATS, BA-ATS, BA-AT-MA-A-A-AN!
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few year: This explains why there is a new batman every few years
The guys who actually do this sort of thing are the ones in Delta, the SEALs, the FBI's HRT, and the British SAS. They all have quite a bit in common.
Candidates are chosen competitively from a large pool of people with military or police experience. Then they're run through a selection process, which most fail. The selection process tests primarily for endurance and the ability to function under pressure when exhausted. Interestingly, none of those groups test martial arts or shooting skills during selection.
Initial training for all these groups is 1-2 years. The training varies, but it's mostly about 1) getting into hard-to-enter places, 2) accurate shooting in combat situations, and 3) mission planning and execution. They all learn martial arts, but if they need them in the field, the mission has gone badly wrong. They don't usually let the bad guys get that close. (HRT might; the FBI tries to capture the bad guys alive.)
That's how the special ops community does it. They train to do the job without heroics. Basic military truth: if heroics are necessary, the mission is in trouble. The HRT motto is "No Heroes". The classic line, going back to the Romans, is "The Legion is not composed of heroes. Heroes are what the Legion kills."
How long would it take me to become Batgirl? I mean after I heal from the gender-reassignment surgery.
welcome to the Barracuda club, Kemerovo, Russia
You can't handle the truth.
I'm not to clear on what your getting at here? Should science be dumbed down for the masses?
Exactly opposite. What I'm saying is that organizing different kinds of knowledge for the purposes of communications is a discipline in and of itself and frankly, it's the job of writers and they've all bailed. Scientists famously can't communicate anything to anyone, even each other, that's why the emphasis is on experiment.
Look at what we have today : A drooling stinkoid shows up babbling about a ton of equations is nothing, but, then he shoots a dog, gives it a needle and it comes back to life. The scientist apologizes that you might have to change the brand of dog food because bringing them back from the dead alters some [insert physics here] and therefor, they must eat Alpo instead of Dog Chow.
Now, a good salesman will look at that, and say "you know, that's a decent piece of work but that Alpo issue is going to make it harder, but, if you can agree to say, 20%, I can sell it if I get to keep 80%. You know, I'll go and be in front of all the people and get them to give us money..." and the scientist says, "my god, people", and says, "you know, I feel bad about the Alpo thing and if you sell it I'll be happy with 17%"...
But I digress...the moral of the story is, the taxonomy of human scientific knowledge is so screwed up that not even scientists themselves can assess the value of their work.... it's just, the organization of our knowledge is draining everything, its not the job of scientists to do, its the job of writers.
This is my sig.
But what about the psychological motivation?
... Mom, dad, I have a really big favor to ask.
People have already mentioned The Phantom, but I think The American, by Mark Verheiden, is an even better example.
Comic starts out with The American, a Captain America-like hero, coming in to break up a terrorist attack (or something like that). A bystander sees him screw up and get killed. But that night, there he is taking a bow for the evening news.
So the bystander starts digging into what's going on, and strikes conspiracy pretty quickly. Turns out there have been hundreds of different guys playing the role of The American over the last 50 years. And the government doesn't want that getting out.
And hey, it's still in print!
All opinions expressed herein are my own, and not those of my employers, who are appalled.
If one is hypothesizing about a real Batman, you have to include superior genetics and near-infinite financial resources. Batman would start training at a young age with top level mixed-martial arts and wrestling coaches, then go through a world-class prep-school education, spending his summers at MMA camps and firearms programs. He'd go through an elite undergraduate education, double majoring in something like engineering physics and economics. Through prep school and college he'd be traveling extensively, picking up languages and training with MMA, kickboxing, judo, and wrestling coaches all over the world. After college he'd spend 4-6 years in a top-level military special operations unit, gaining real-world experience in violence, emergency medicine, demolitions, covert operations, etc. By the time he's done with this he'll be approaching 30, and he'll have the connections, wealth, and knowledge to pick up additional skills he might need in the private sector, possibly through private tutoring or formal education programs. He'll still be in top physical condition. After a year or two of fine-tuning, he'll be ready to start wiping out villains anywhere.
Wouldn't it work better if being batman was like some elite social prize for the super elite rich? You have to pay a billion a year to be batman and be at the top of your game. If you fail for any reason, the next super rich guy that can do it becomes batman. Heck, it could also be some surreal reality TV. Imagine all the batman stuff being recorded, and you'd have to pay a few million to watch views of the current batman... You'd have to test out on known Batman enemies and their weaknesses.
Of course if you really wanted to implement "The Batman Project," it would be simpler to go the entire clone army route and just have 1,000 batmen of various ages in training ready just in case.
What always fascinated me about Batman was that he had no super powers. Superman, Spiderman, Hulk, etc. all had some sort of super ability that was explained by magic or techno-babble that masqueraded as science. So what is Batman's "super" power? He's just obsessed. That's it. Ordinary human obsession. Granted, it's taken to extremes and supplemented by boatloads of wealth, but it's within the range of what could be achieved by an ordinary human. But you know what? I think Batman could kick Superman's ass. (Does this sound like a conversation that Norm and Cliff would have down at Cheers?)
"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest ***** in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.
Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a way, this was liberating. He no longer has to worry about being the baddest ***** in the world. The position is taken."-Neal Stephenson
Too much gang fighting can worsen your skills on one-on-one combat.
I knew of this one guy who got really good at fighting gangs for local charities and stuff. He was huge, and he didn't even work out. He got his ass kicked by one man.
You see, you use different moves when you're fighting half-a-dozen people than when your only fighting just one person.
Awe, damn, dude. You guys had to go and ruin the mystique of Batman...
I might know what I'm talkin' about, but then again, this is Slashdot...
The crowning touch, the one thing that really puts true worldclass motherfuckerdom totally out of reach, of course, is the hydrogen bomb.
Losing means being captured, chained up in some overly-complex death machine (still with your batman mask on) and then being left alone to make your escape.
Quidquid Latine dictum sit, altum videtur (anything said in Latin sounds important)
oh sorry, wrong batman.
Forget Batman! How many years will it take for me to be Superman?
When he has to face such dastardly villains?
2-D Glasses comic
one would have to train a number of Batpeople from various backgrounds to avoid offending any minority. And what about the other animals, why should bats have preferential treatment? How about this for the job advertisement, Vacancy: Nonspecificanimalperson Equal opportunity employer seeks keen individual of no specific race or gender for super hero position. Vehicle provided, good rates of pay, uniform provided. Other perks include own butler and accomodation. Super powers desirable but not essential for successful aplicant. Must be prepared to work nights.