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Actually, Australia moved about 15 years ago.

Like, you mean like for war?

Does Canada know?

Like, you mean like for war?

SatireWire.com: HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Yes, it's parody. Yes, it's the internet of 2000. Yes, it's worth reading.

Linky for those who missed it, last time this happened.

Actually - yes - in general, a longer more rigorous training program is far more effective than one that you can complete in 30 min-2hrs... unless, of course, the subject matter is trivial. For some thing as serious as carrying a handgun in public... I'd personally prefer to see very high (and consistent) standards.

With respect to your other comments, there is a tenuous link - at best - between concealed carry legislation and a decline in violent crime rates... Even you state that the rates 'either stay the same or go down'. If conceal and carry was truly effective, I'd hope to see a significant reduction.

Your assertion with regards to the highest crime rates is completely unsubstantiated. Further, for every study that you can produce that shows any positive correlation, you can also find another which repudiates those results (and in many cases, those two reports will use the exact same data but use different factors to analyze the numbers)... lies, damned lies and statistics!

IMHO, the real nonsense is the belief that more guns somehow make things safer. But just as I am entitled to this opinion, I concede that you are entitled to yours.

BTW - I really liked this story at SatireWire: http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4946

Source

Newsflash August 2002: Hacker's Beg Boring People to Stop Encrypting Emails.

About the only email client I saw that got encryption right was that hideously horrible excuse for a MUA, Lotus Notes. Little button on the UI that told you 'encrypted or not' and easy to toggle. And even easier to force all users to keep on at all times.

Why aren't PGP signatures, encrypt-in-transit and web-of-trust everywhere?

Because they aren't the default.

If you required, or even foisted under the covers on people, public keys and end-to-end crypto it would still not be common place among those who are paying attention enough to flip it off.

For a car analogy, it's like forcing people have seatbelts in their cars. Unless they think it's a natural part of the system you'll have to pull a few people over and beat them soundly (in their wallet) to keep everyone else in line. Even then you'll get a few clowns who just think it's faster that way or more hip.

There is a funny take on this in an old salirewire article';

http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=168

Study finds women who drink are way more fun to study:

http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=154

http://www.satirewire.com/news/march02/screeners.shtml

(-:

So long as PETA doesn't get involved, the issue of remote controlled animals will go fine.

It became extinct fairly recently, why don't we clone it? Surely these things will make a great addition to the New Zealand Air Defense Force.

Well, it would at least mean that New Zealand would have an Air Defence Force...

(I'm Canadian. I'm allowed to make these jokes.)

http://www.satirewire.com/news/aug02/jupiter.shtml

This article from Satirewire seems to fit here.

French Strike for Greater Productivity

Because most of us came to this realization: http://xkcd.com/538/ or the fact that 90% of it doesn't matter.

Yes, people - not their machines - are always the weakest link in the technology chain. (At least that's what I got out of reading Dune. :-)

Plus, most of what you would protect has less value than you think.

Reminds me of this: http://www.satirewire.com/news/0011/cubist_site.shtml

Canada's military power is to be feared. They have a frigate as well. I keep waiting for it to show up on Lake Erie and start shelling Cedar Point because they don't have cool theme parks like we yanks do.

You exported a computer?

"Firearms to Canada â" On June 19, 2008, Ugur Yildiz was arrested and charged in a criminal complaint in the Northern District of Illinois with illegally exporting some 220 firearms from Chicago to Canada in 2006. The investigation was conducted by ICE and the ATF."

Reminds me of this story: http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml

Actually, that was a mistake. We've sobered up now and want to go home.

Sorry about Florida.

Reminds of this great poem from years ago:

http://www.satirewire.com/features/poetry_spam/01free_winner.shtml

I Answered All My Spam

I never know what I might find,
on any day I go online.
I used to get in quite a huff,
while wading through unwanted stuff.
But then I changed the man I am,
the day I answered all my spam.

Now every time I check my box,
I load up on fantastic stocks.
I'll gladly say I felt no loss,
when, with a smile, I fired my boss.
With just one click, the best thing yet,
I freed myself of all my debt.

I have, paying a few small fees,
ten university degrees.
Now that I'm losing all this weight,
I'm sure, someday, I'll get a date.
Instead of going to a show,
I spy on everyone I know.
(That's easy, since I have in hand,
this nifty wireless video cam.)

I spend my evenings viewing screens,
of barely legal horny teens.
And with a little credit charge,
Whoopee! My penis was enlarged!
Meanwhile these shots of Britney Spears
should be enough to last for years.

And so I lead this online life,
my monitor is now my wife.
It has become my greatest dream,
to launch my own get-rich-quick scheme.
And if you think you might get missed,
relax, you're on my e-mail list.

All the super duper sekrit US satellites have very obvious Canada flags that can be seen with a telescope, so people just go, "Crap, it's Canadian, no evil there - next". You laugh, but...

We must not impose our own moral standards - indeed, we must make allowances for the cultural sensitivities of other peoples, who after all, haven't had our fortunate standards of living and history of ethical struggle to shape their values.

Reminds me of this satirewire story: http://satirewire.com/briefs/netscape6.shtml

Ahem.

Though to be honest, these days that article presented as an official announcement probably would terrify the populace. Good luck reassuring people who are terrified of imaginary threats.

Well, Australia has a history of wandering about. Can't be too careful...

The Canadian Navy might have something to say about that, eh?

One disclaimer right at the start - I have some Jewish ancestry.

About Rediff.com - you cannot seriously be quoting rediff as a reliable source. Buffalo.edu and BBC - when did they state that there is a global conspiracy against Hindus?

Talking about the Dalit Voice, the Dalit Panther etc - these are fringe groups with well known biases. This is similar to quoting Fox News as a reliable source for accurate analysis on the Iraq war. Is it any surprise that these websites spout venom?

And what about Slasat, Milla-whatever - these are similar to Dalit Voice; that is, these are not mainline media sites. These are fringe groups.

Do you want a list of groups who spout venom against the Christians: Consider the following: www.christianaggression.org,

On the topic of anti-semitism - the primary problem the Communists have always had with the Jews is because they see jews as backers of the capitalist western nations. Partnering with a capitalist system, is seen by the communists, as putting down the labour class. By the way, it is true that a large part of the financial systems in the world are controlled by people with jewish roots. JP Morgan, Citigroup, Chase Manhattan (the three primary bankers who own controlling interests in the Federal Bank of the US) were all started by jews and are still controlled by Jews. Also, organizations such as the Rockefeller Foundation, BIS etc have a large number of jews on their boards.

The anti-semitism comes from this mistaken notion that since jews are backers of the capitalist nations, that they must inherently be evil.

The communist leaning towards muslim nations (though these nations are far less friendly towards the labour class than are western nations) comes from the fact that the muslim nations have seen jews as the enemy. This animosity that muslims feel towards the jews goes back hundreds of years. The nation of Israel has done many things over the past decades to further antagonize the muslims.

For the communist, the dictum "enemy of my enemy is my friend" applies and therefore they see muslim nations as friends and partners.

The same dictum applies for ultra-radical hindu outfits such as the RSS. RSS sees muslims as their enemy and therefore they see Israel (which is seen as opposed to the muslim nations) as their friend. It is in this context that the RSS spouts pro-israeli statements.

There is a satirical note on this which you might find funny:
http://www.satirewire.com/news/may02/hinjews.shtml

About your note about "self-hating" Indians. I am an Indian. It is just a little strange that I also do have Jewish roots and am a Christian. I have a lot of friends who are Hindus - incidentally, I also have a friend who is an office bearer in the RSS. I also have a lot of muslim friends as well as jewish friends.

The reason I look upon the Shiv sena with contempt is not because I am a self-hating Indian who is ashamed of his existence. But it is because they think it is ok to preach against violence using violence. They also concoct stories if required.

If the RSS/ABVP/BJP/whatever believes that something on Orkut is against their beliefs/their leader etc, they have the freedom and the right to put up documents countering the claims. Instead, they prefer to intimidate and rough up people, destroy businesses etc. And after all that, they expect no one to criticize them.

I also find it strange that organizations such as RSS which talks about the criminal activities of SIMI, regularly trains their cadres in the use of arms. They practise regularly using sticks, swords etc. I know this from first hand experience of seeing them. If you are a peaceful organization, why do you need to arm your cadres?

By the way, trusting the Gujarati government report on Godhra because they have the best roads makes as much sense as expecting the Nazis to give a non-partisan report on the jews because they had the best

Canada has a navy?

Who says that laying off all your employees is impossible?

http://www.satirewire.com/news/att.shtml

At first, I remembered this as being an onion article, but actually it wasn't. Although the onion did have:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28984

So there you go!

There are too many companies who try to get away with dubious deeds just to make a buck.

I feel compelled to point out the comparatively minor economic benefits of this tunnel when it's compared to the Sydney-Los Angeles Bridge.

...some Cubist web pages.

http://www.satirewire.com/charts/cubist.shtml

Which leads to the obligatory SatireWire link for the three people that haven't seen it yet.

Shurely you mean this?

This needs to be updated...

Firing everyone in the company? Why stop there?

Need to re-read my post before posting. It was AT&T, not IBM. Anyway, turns out it wasn't such a great idea after all.

IBM already tried that and it worked great for them!

It all depends how it's done. The police can't secretly encourage somebody to commit crime, then arrest them for it. What they can do is set up traps in high-crime areas and catch the perpetrators. For example, leave mobile phone on car seat, hide in bushes. When the local phone thief walks past and smashes the window, pop out and arrest him. Similarly, forces operate capture cars (sometimes known as rat traps), left parked in areas with a problem with vehicle theft. When they're stolen, they automatically lock the doors, and notify the police, who can then pop round to collect the thief.

I'd expect setting up a predator trap would involve a somewhat larger operation.

Maybe you should see about joining an assisted computing facility

http://www.satirewire.com/news/0008/satire-fbiteen s.shtml

"What's missing is that employees are an organization's best assets."

For some reason, that reminded me of this:

http://www.satirewire.com/news/0105/loyal.shtml

Bird flu is a diversion from the REAL killers. Not to worry though, the feds and local governments are on top of this stuff.

I'm pretty sure this is what Origami is all about.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/0010/international. shtml

It's just a global coincidence.

But what about a global coincidence theory ?
Or, it might be the fault of the sun - we didn't have sun 100 years ago, right ?
Hey, Michael Crichton himself says this global warming thing is not real - I guess you hippie pinko lesbian communist godless gay-marrying terrorists would claim that global warming is real while Jurassic Park isn't ?
And think of all the horrors that would happen if we cut down fuel consumption for nothing: our children would have to breathe this totally clean and transparent air, won't have to go to war for oil, won't have crazy gas prices.
I'm telling you, I'm not going to believe into this "global warming" thing unless you can explain me how it's all Clinton's fault.

This is old news, check this article from 2000.
http://www.satirewire.com/news/0009/satire-voice.s html

(yes, it's a classic)

OT, but that reminded me of the best SatireWire ever. ;->