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YES!!!!!!

Mod parent up, please, and while you're doing that, read this:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

Is this where Intel says "Fuck it we're doing 5 cores"? http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

From who? Universal? Robbing the majors is the thing to do these days.

Nah, they'll just use the FUBU ("For Us By Us") naming and call it "For Kids By Kids".

You don't happen to know this guy, do you?

All programming to be broadcast in ADHDTV by 2007

I suppose the Russians will now go for eight fucking blades and an aloe lubrastrip?

The Onion has it right.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38575

Christians are taught to forgive. Muslims are taught to die in defense of Islaam.

Wrong.

Both are supposedly taught to forgive. It only took me about a minute on Wikiquote:

Satan threatens you with the prospect of poverty and bids you to be niggardly, whereas God promises you His forgiveness and bountyIf you do deeds of charity openly, it is well; but if you bestow it upon the needy in secret, it will be even better for you, and it will atone for some of your bad deeds

That's from the Qur'an. Looks like it's not only preaching forgiveness, not only charity, but secret charity, because if your charity was public, you might be doing it out of vanity.

And let's not forget -- Islam does accept Jesus as a prophet.

But both sides are also perfectly willing to pervert their belief until it's unrecognizable. Think of the Crusades, of Nazi Germany, of any of the things Christianity has done in the name of God...

But I'll tell you what -- God isn't happy with any of us. But here's the trick: That article is about all of us, not just people you disagree with.

Because given half an opportunity a bunch of idiots will cripple themselves on anything they can get a hold of.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28331

This time 15 of them!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28009

How many of these new cells would it take to power this I wonder? With that 60% increase of the 0% we were getting previously from the UV band, I would imagine quite a few bananas will get eaten before those monkeys actually collide!

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/earthquake_se ts_japan_back_to_2147

It's just that an earthquake set them back over a few hundred years.

According to ONN the Internet already crashed.

Hm... I guess a truly anti-evolution candidate would be more like this

But how can you be so sure that's due to atheistic gravity, and not Intelligent Falling?

Your wife? You, sir, have fallen for the biggest scam of all time.

This sort of scam has been documented by the media.

Obviously, Vladimir Putin stole it to use its power in his quest to rebuild the Soviet Union. The evidence is clear. Russia's President Vladimir Putin has described the collapse of the Soviet Union as "the greatest geopolitical catastrophe" of the 20th century.

Also, don't forget the loopholes in the constitutions of several former Soviet states that allow Putin to re-form the USSR. See STOCKWATCH, near the bottom right of the page.

"This decisive Democratic victory could very well be part of an unfathomably brilliant plan of Karl Rove's to position the Republicans for the 2016 elections, and probably beyond. History has shown that the man is an unstoppable evil genius. You can't underestimate him."

Here :

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39486

Just put any coffee cups etc you are holding away before reading.

Actually, there is an irrefutable theory supporting the OP's view, Intelling Falling

--
You will be assimilated

It is true that this new explanation flies in the face of this classic study:

"At this rate, by the year 2100 there will be five smart people on Earth, swallowed whole by more than 12 billion mouth-breathers incapable of understanding the binary exponentiation that swamped the Earth with their like."

Study: Uneducated Outbreeding Intelligentsia 2-To-1

Since when are 60 hour work weeks the norm? They're around, but last I knew, most people are working a standard 40 hours.

Since about 2000. The trend had already been going on but the stock crash of the late 90's and 9/11 really put the screws to everyone. People in the US now put in as many or more hours than anyone in the world. The declining earning power is something that's been going on since 1970 or so. Salaried workers at big dumb companies have been hit very hard, with many not taking vacation time for years. If you don't go along with it, you are not a team player and will soon get a vacation without end.

Here and here are more recent studdies. Things have not gotten better. Some 22% of US workers are pulling more than 48 hours a week. Want to guess what percentage of the population is self employed or on salary? The situation was well parodied by The Onion, but the situation is not very funny to anyone who wants a family.

What this all shows is that the US economy lacks real competition and is dominated by a small number of large firms who can treat their employees as they please. The rise of the "service sector" with it's franchises and the decline of manufacturing are both cause and symptoms and trading with China is a dissaster we will all regret.

More research on the subject. Very interesting stuff.

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

(The funniest thing about this article is that a year after they published it, Gillette actually did release a five-bladed shaver!)

Wow, you could get a job writing a column about fonts for a newspaper or something.

...sucks as bad as the river tide.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51376

So, wait, someone actually wants to claim credit for being the man behind MS-DOS?

In other news, No One Admits To Singing, Writing, Producing Nation's No. 1 Song.

It's management trying to cover their tracks.

It's that Japan is so far ahead of us that it just seems that way.

Reminds me of this Onion article:
Peace Activist Has To Admit Barrett .50 Caliber Sniper Rifle Is Pretty Cool

I hear they are sick of mars anyway.

Yes, that would explain their weird behavior.

No, this happens. Posting as an AC because I know some a neurotic offtopic mod nazi won't be smart enough to realize that this is a reply, not an original post.

How do you know there aren't 19,928,148,895,209,409,152,340,197,376 tiny monkeys living on each and every atom in the universe? Or maybe the same number of giant unobservable overlapping monkeys?

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

"Did you see that awesome drone that just killed my friend? It had a quad-core processor for vision!"

Reminds me of The Onion article: Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy

I Have An iPod-In My Mind

My guess it probably went something like this:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29433

It isn't. The Onion recently reported on chilling counter-counterterrorist activity in Washington, D.C.

At the same time there was a few milestones in advertising & music videos: Michael Jackson's Black or White, Schick FX ad - where a guy's head morphs from a block, an another Airline ad (who's name escapes me) where some Orcas swim through a 747.

And not to forget the computer generated cat... :)

I think he might be this guy.

> We are looking at an example where the checks and balances system is being
> undermined at the most fundamental level.

Which is clearly why we need to return to the system of Jacks and Palances.

to encourage immigration and the American dream.