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According to this study, smoking enhances evolution by increasing random mutation!

It also helps to combat climate-change.

It's actually paving the way towards the iWheel interface. Keys are so 19th century...

The problem is simply that religion still tries to shame sexual encounters outside of marriage and even outside of reproduction.

Correction: Uneducated, religious people still try to shame sexual enjoyment - inside and outside of marriage - out of sex because of their own ignorance and fear.

Educated religious people, OTOH, like to have sex as much as the atheist/agnostic next door. (Yes, it's a satire piece - but it makes a not-so-subtle point: we all like to fuck.) We use contraceptives if and when we want, and we manage our family's size based on what we want and need. Any priesthood leader that tells you or your spouse how often to use birth control is full of BS and stepping way out of bounds (the last time I checked, they don't have to live with the consequences of "no birth control".)

BTW - Your comments on "their holy scriptures" show that you don't really understand them. Of course they don't make sense to "normal thinking people" because they were written by a different cultural view, thousands of years ago. They make a lot more sense, however, with some serious study of their historical context (vs. copy+pasting passages that many on both sides do) - and they do hold the keys to happiness in any age/era if their core doctrines are understood and followed.

Apple is just preparing people for their next generation Macbook Wheel.

I'm imagining that the "make things better by simplifying" can only go so far

Oh dear, I just had a flashback to this.

One step closer, my friends...one step closer to the dream...

Well, since Apple seems insistent about removing important keys from the keyboard, why not go all the way?

http://www.theonion.com/video/...

Oh, bother...

http://www.theonion.com/video/...
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Watch out for the Special bus!

It may be a problem with the Matrix

Eventually, with the keyboard replaced by the wheel, and the screen replaced by (the courage to say) fuck you, they will unify all their devices into a single line, further reduce the size, and round them out some more until they are basically just narrow cylinders with one rounded end and the wheel on the other end. The only output will be a buzzing sensation, letting you know that it's definitely computing things for you. The dial, excuse me, WHEEL will control the processor speed.

At which point, upon purchase, all the groveling Apple faggots will be instructed to insert them rectally.

CAPTCHA: micron

But fret not, there will still be a slightly larger model available for the size queens.

The MacBook Wheel does not make any sound at all.

http://www.theonion.com/graphi... https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Touch screens on keyboards? What the hell is Apple thinking? They came out with the perfect computer UI years ago and still haven't released it. And with Siri you can do automatic spell checking too!

They feel compelled to share their experience online. This is starting to sound like people who like to point out they don't own a TV. (And yes I know that's a satire site. It's funny because it hints at the true motivation of people who claim they like to buck the trend.)

Lots of people go offline for an extended period of time. Hikers, campers, sailors, hunters, etc. They just don't make a big deal about it (online) as the folks who do it so they can brag about it online. That's the key difference, not whether or not you choose to go offline for a while. Are you doing it to participate in an activity you can enjoy without having to be online? Or are you doing it so you can brag about it online (e.g. post selfies you took while touring Yellowstone)? That's the point musicians are trying to make at concerts when they tell people to put away their phones. It's not that phones or the Internet is evil and you need to take time away from them. It's that you have this wonderful event going on right in front of you in real life, and you're missing it because you're too busy staring at your phone. You're trying to record the experience so you can "re-live" it later, but in doing so you're missing out on the actual experience, which defeats the whole purpose.

That's the important thing - that you prioritize your enjoyment of that real-world experience while it's happening over your ability to re-live it later or share the experience online. Not how many hours or days you can go while offline.

SpaceX founder Elon Musk continues to lay the groundwork to attempt the human colonization of Mars. Here’s a step-by-step guide to his plan:

STEP 1: Invent remaining 2,348 technologies needed to make trip possible

STEP 2: $10 billion appears

STEP 3: Cost of spaceship reduced by going with cheap Venetian plaster instead of more expensive marble

STEP 4: Before departing, voyagers visit doctor to receive all the CDC–recommended vaccines for trip to another celestial body

STEP 5: Tell poor people we’ll come back for them

STEP 6: Humanity runs away from all of its problems at 5,375 mph

STEP 7: Spaceship gets passed on left by reckless asteroid

STEP 8: Those not murdered by fellow passengers land safely on Mars three months later

STEP 9: Set up utilities and Wi-Fi

STEP 10: Apply for construction permits within notoriously byzantine bureaucracy of the Intergalactic Department of Buildings

STEP 11: Group photo

STEP 12: Build entire civilization from scratch

STEP 13: Future Mars population considers colonizing barren wasteland of Earth in last-ditch effort to save species

http://www.theonion.com/infographic/spacexs-plan-colonize-mars-54049

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Subscribe to Cable

I think this is what they have in mind.

He's just jealous.

The iPhone 9 won't have a screen. This will at least double battery life.

It will be designed to fit into the user's anus. And people will still line up to buy it.

It could be worse than that, and people would still line up to buy it.

The internet was created so that we could have OT posts like, "Internet Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Have a Religion".

Where are the Illiberals going to flee now, should a Republican win elections?

But it's kind of a let-down after they put a man on the sun.

http://www.theonion.com/video/...

(nsfw/language)

FUCK EVERYTHING, we're doing 32K !

The only "sexual misconduct" worth discussing by millions of people, most of whom have never even heard the names of the parties, is rape. And even then — only on specialized forums.

Why is this on Slashdot's "front page"? It is nothing compared to the other sad facts of life, such as, for just one example, that 78% of Of Female Birds Sexually Harassed By Strangers.

... For A Second, I Believe Exactly What You Believe:

http://www.theonion.com/blogpo...

^^^^^ Yep, It's that guy ^^^^^^

http://www.theonion.com/articl...

We were waiting for you.

Oh, be quiet, Mr. Green.

American People Hire High-Powered Lobbyist To Push Interests In Congress

Let me guess -- you don't own a television either?

http://www.theonion.com/articl...

http://www.theonion.com/articl....

The Onion, but not satire or humour.

Racial justice activist DeRay Mckesson

Is this — his being a "Racial Justice Activist" — the best way to describe a person? The supposed profession seems straight out of the Onion's polls — along with other gems like "Grammar Innovator" and "Cactus Purchaser".

Seriously, has he done something more profound in his life than raising awareness and, if he did, why is not that mentioned in the write-up instead?

Well, at least now I have heard of the guy — the hack and /. have achieved for him, what his "activity" itself was never able to...

. How is it that from such a huge number that these are the best people you could come up with???

Being President is a terrible job, that is why we handed it to a Black guy.

The good news is that, by inference, the resurrection rate has risen.

No-one said you should. But we don't care that you don't care, because it makes you sound a bit like that guy.

Designers say the new game explores the endless paperwork, routine patrolling a modern day soldier endures in photorealistic detail.

It's not the NSA, it's the CIA.

I do recall it being also mentioned either in a news program or a documentary but I'll be damned if I can tell you which one.

I believe it was this one.

If you define success as who has the richest people, then GDP per capita is one measure.

This sentence is self-contradicting...

If it matters to you that financial success and economic security be reasonably well distributed among the population

It does matter to me, incidentally, but that can not be the goal in itself. This "reasonably even distribution" comes as a consequence of good governance.

If you pursue it as a goal, you'll make everyone equally poor — take from someone, who grew up in the USSR.

Some quotes from a CNN article on happiness

Happiness is not quantifiable and can not be discussed in this context.

The desirability among would-be immigrants, however, can be. Yet, you chose to ignore that measure even though I proposed it right along the per capita GDP. Could it be because the US is winning on it, huh? Maybe, it is time for you to leave the country, to which your ancestors fled from wherever that was — and vacate the space for new freedom-seekers?

How is a survey asking people how happy they are any less quantifiable than a survey asking them which country they'd like to live in? In my mind, the former is more telling because it asks people to evaluate what their lives are actually like rather than what they imagine they'd be like living somewhere else. But if you don't like comparing by "happiness", then comparing by standard of living puts a lot of the same counties in the top. In neither of these lists does the US do badly, but there are countries with larger, more left leaning governments that do better (and worse).

As far ignoring desirability among potential immigrants goes, I ignored it because it's a measurement of perception rather than reality. I honestly didn't know where the US ranked but assumed that it ranked highly or you wouldn't have selected it as a measure. It is interesting to note who wants to come here and where they tend to be from: http://www.gallup.com/poll/153...

It's not from countries that do better on happiness or standard of living scale. I do agree that if getting rich is your goal and that if opportunities are limited where you currently live, the US is a great choice that's relatively easy to get into. And it's a better place on almost any measure than where lots of these would-be migrants currently live. However that doesn't mean a smaller government = a better place to live.

Internet Scam Alert: Most "Kickstarter" Projects Just Useless Crap

If you define success as who has the richest people, then GDP per capita is one measure.

This sentence is self-contradicting...

If it matters to you that financial success and economic security be reasonably well distributed among the population

It does matter to me, incidentally, but that can not be the goal in itself. This "reasonably even distribution" comes as a consequence of good governance.

If you pursue it as a goal, you'll make everyone equally poor — take from someone, who grew up in the USSR.

Some quotes from a CNN article on happiness

Happiness is not quantifiable and can not be discussed in this context.

The desirability among would-be immigrants, however, can be. Yet, you chose to ignore that measure even though I proposed it right along the per capita GDP. Could it be because the US is winning on it, huh? Maybe, it is time for you to leave the country, to which your ancestors fled from wherever that was — and vacate the space for new freedom-seekers?

They came here.

At one time, SlashDot had comment sections worth reading.

Those days are long gone. They are a dot, receding rapidly in the rearview.

At one time, I thought these were "strawman" idiots, like what Rush and Anne Coulter set up (Here's a hint for you sad folks: THEY DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE TRIPE THEY SPEW -THEY ARE MUCH TOO SMART.

However, I have come to realize that there are, in fact, people that actually believe the crap they spew from their keyboards. Sadly, a significant number of folks do so in an extremely traceable manner.

I'd love to get half the idiots I know in the Software Engineering field out smoking pot, instead of writing God-awful garbage spaghetti code while trolling feminists.

A perfect candidate for this subsidy.

Captcha: "deceive" (I LOVE IT!)

There is prior art.

So the right place?

http://www.theonion.com/articl...

Three Factor Authentication!

Das Onion is always prescient:
http://www.theonion.com/blogpo...

http://www.theonion.com/blogpo...

Don't forget the two power strips.

Here

And in the words of The Onion: I Bought An Awesome Gun That Makes Me Feel Like God, But I Hope I Never Have To Use It

At first glance, the title reads like it might be from an Onion article - like Jock Scientists Discover Gay Gene in Carl.

Did you catch the Twitter feud between Obama and the Audubon Society?

Obama vs Audubon Twitter Feud