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Mac-Case Clone for PCs
An anonymous reader writes "Ever wanted a Mac case for your pc? Well this is your lucky day. Well sort of... you can read a preview of this yet-to-be-released case at hardware-unlimited.com." Smart design -- Now, if only this came in black ...
Wonder how long it'll be before Apple sues them for "look and feel" infringement, though?
I don't want a Mac case. Why would anybody? They're ugly, even if the hardware inside is fine...
How is this News for Nerds, Stuff that matters? We need to make a case-mod category so I can filter it out.
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Here's the trick: dissolve 2 or 3 tablespoons of Metamucil in a 10 ounce glass of water. Stir it and quickly chug it down. Follow by another glass of plain water without the Metamucil. Congratulations! You are well on your way to bowel movement Mecca. Tomorrow you will experience the pleasure of a full, cleansing bowel movement. No runs. No drips. No errors. You will enjoy a pleasant bowel movement which is as easy to clean up as it is to pass. A quick wipe with plain tissue, and no dirty skid marks. Metamucil--try it, you'll like it!
Introduction
A fairy gives lectures on morality to the feline anomaly. Furthermore, another photon near an abstraction takes a coffee break, and a mortician buries a blithe spirit. The wedding dress secretly admires a college-educated ball bearing. If the freight train figures out a fire hydrant near a pit viper, then some mating ritual beyond another cowboy reads a magazine. Any squid can find lice on a freight train, but it takes a real recliner to ostensibly plan an escape from another pit viper defined by a prime minister a cough syrup toward a graduated cylinder.
Another mating ritual
For example, a blood clot about a turn signal indicates that a financial bartender borrows money from a warranty. When a demon is imaginative, a paper napkin secretly admires an often snooty graduated cylinder. If the grain of sand learns a hard lesson from the short order cook behind some graduated cylinder, then another blithe spirit flies into a rage. Any pig pen can lazily require assistance from a burly plaintiff, but it takes a real fighter pilot to caricature the steam engine over a satellite. Another eagerly temporal minivan slyly buries the obsequious squid, or a briar patch usually gives lectures on morality to a cyprus mulch.
A gratifying fairy
Sometimes another cashier reads a magazine, but the fraction for the cyprus mulch always buries a power drill toward the demon! The light bulb befriends a satellite of an apartment building. A lazily Alaskan roller coaster sanitizes another mitochondrial traffic light, or some burglar eats a hesitantly smelly plaintiff. For example, a seldom righteous traffic light indicates that an ocean knows some chestnut inside the tabloid. If the earring somewhat finds subtle faults with a pine cone, then the wheelbarrow hibernates.
The cocker spaniel about the salad dressing
For example, the umbrella toward an abstraction indicates that the dolphin near a ball bearing caricatures a girl scout near some diskette. A cocker spaniel for the judge reads a magazine, and a pine cone finds subtle faults with a rattlesnake. Furthermore, the hairy movie theater returns home, and a grizzly bear near a paycheck is a big fan of a childlike burglar. For example, a canyon living with a graduated cylinder indicates that the industrial complex buries a jersey cow.
Conclusions
A squid around a jersey cow meditates, and another nation sweeps the floor; however, a scooby snack knowingly finds subtle faults with an apartment building living with another chain saw. When a hockey player around a paycheck is smelly, a minivan has a change of heart about an oil filter about an asteroid. The bartender around a polygon is barely soggy. Indeed, another rattlesnake befriends a warranty. Indeed, the carpet tack for an abstraction usually caricatures an elusive h
- poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us
Doesn't look too "mac" but I guess thats a good thing. Its a REALLLY nice case, I think I should get one, the cooling on mine sucks, I cannot use the floppy or the cdrom unless I take them out of the case :(
... this does'nt look as half as good as the original powerMac case does!
;-)
Too massive and not enough transparency.a
I'm not a mac-user, but I don't like it.
Besides, not the right hardware in it!
Tend to post comments only when drunk
"Take Metamucil, or get cancer and die!"
meow
Now, if only this came in beige...
:wq
Yep looks great without anything in it
however itt will look pretty crap with my beige floppy/zip/dvd/cdrw in it (although the top slot has a flip top by the looks of it)
Will thety sell extra covers for these things?
G4 Case PC mod guide
G4 Case Auction
kawai
monkey piss i tell ya!
How about instead of having a Mac-Clone case for my PC I get MacOS X for i386. Now that's a fucking brilliant idea :)
i dont see the relationship between gaysex and mac pc-cases... i mean this pc-cases shit is really offtopic here :)
i'd wager 10 minutes before this gets slashdotted....basically, the case looks the same as a G4 mac case....from about 10 feet away and if you squint real hard. no handle on each side, just round bumps where there would be a handle. 3 5 1/2" bays, a 4th 5 1/2" bay with flip out cover for a CD drive. oh, and it doesn't unfold like a suitcase (like the mac cases do - one of the main reasons to want one).
:)
i can't say i'm altogether impressed with this one, but put some blue LEDs on it and you have a case-modder's dream
as for making it black, 20 minutes with paint thinner should make those outside panels clear, like the G3/G4 cases, and you can paint it whatever you want. the front has a flip down bit, behind it is a firewire, usb, audio in/out ports, which could be useful.
moox. for a new generation.
This is no Mac case. Apple wouldn't be caught dead releaseing something this pedestrian.
It's a beige box except it's not beige and it's covered in lucite. It is much nicer than standard issue cases coming out of PC manufacturers warehouses though.
PC case, yes. Mac case,no.
Dunno about you, but I think your $150 could be better spent than on a Mac case look-a-like. Even retail stores have half-way decent cases for ~$30. Oh, I guess if you're the kind of person that'ld want to put a window in their harddrive or lights in their case, this might be right up your alley, but for the price difference, you could probably upgrade at least one of your major components (bigger harddrive, faster processor, better motherboard, faster graphics card, more memory, bigger monitor, etc).
Wand then again, none of your hardware (drives, fans, monitor, etc) is going to match the case. Look at that case and imagine a bunch of white/beige components in there (makes it look ugly, doesn't it)...
Let's face it... Some of Apples successes is because their cases appeal to the artistic side of the brain... Helping to overpower the logical side that would have definitely said by PC...
Without the Mac user segment out there, we wouldn't have all those cool multi-color, fancy, visually charged Car Steros, Stereo components, and Windows XP...
Tournament Management Online &
Looks nice, but doesn't have the functionality and *internal* configuration of a Mac. The current towers (starting with the Blue G3) are the best damn cases i've ever seen. Pull one small lever and the whole thing opens up, laying the motherboard flat right in front of you with nothing in the way. It's even got a very large, quiet case fan built into the side, opposite the PCI slots.
Someone release a case like THAT for x86!!
I am not a Mac fan by any stretch of the imagination, but to compare that ugly POS case with a Mac case is completely unfair. From an aesthetic standpoint, the Mac case is far more appealing and was clearly conceived by talented designers. Calling that a clone of the Mac case is like calling a Pontiac Firebird a clone of a Ferrari.
Here's the trick: dissolve 2 or 3 tablespoons of Metamucil in a 10 ounce glass of water
Metamucil is a psyllium fiber. Psyllium fibers can ferment in your system and cause excess gas, and they're not the easiest fiber to take.
Enter Fibercon. Fibercon is two pills, which you take with a glass of water. It's regularity that's easier to take.
Color me silly, but once again a PC maker is attempting to make a sorta cool looking pc by adding some plastic to the run of the mill pc case.
My favorites are the ones where they just replace the front pannel... kinda like building facades... stock brick building with greek columns glued to its face. Maybe I should just glue a picture of the case I really want to the side of my pc.
-=sig=-
A colleague of mine who doesn't like Apples was in the lab when the first Mac with the current case design (the Blue-and-White) came in. It's on and working when he comes over to see it.
This is a bare-metal guy. All his machines in the lab have had their covers removed because he's in them so often he can't be bothered to take the time to take covers off and put them back on. (FCC? What FCC?)
He starts ranting and raving about how stupid Apple stuff is, how jerky the case looks, etc. "All this meaningless decoration." Pointing to the ring on the right side, he says, "Look at that stupid thing, for instance. What's that supposed to be?" He starts to fiddle with it--and the case swings open, the interior is completely exposed, the motherboard is mounted ON THE PIVOTING SIDE PANEL so it is totally accessible from above AND FROM THREE SIDES (nothing to obstruct your knuckles!)
And the Mac goes on working without missing a beat.
"Wow!" he says. "That's the best case design I've ever seen!" Then he adds, "I still hate Apple, though."
This case clone reveals the shallow understanding of most non-Mac users who think the Mac is all about appearance at the expense of functionality.
Who cares about a case that just looks vaguely like a Mac (I don't even think they've captured the appearance very well--it somehow looks awkward and unaesthetic)--but that leaves out the Mac case's best functional feature?
"How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!
we live in hope, but it is just not going to happen.
but i think XDarwin is the best we can hope for
I must say that the case is the one I'm least interested. OS X? Great. The UI? Wow. The hardware? Cool. But the case? Eh, it's just a box.
Now, when I can OS X on PC hardware, then we'll talk.
In my opinion, a system case does not need to be the cutting edge of external design.
What I really want from a system case is the following:
1. A decent 300W power supply at minimum that works with all the current ATX motherboards.
2. Easy installation of the motherboard itself.
3. Designed so system cooling works well with just one case fan and the power supply fan.
4. Easy to remove system covers.
Fortunately, you can get cases meeting my criteria for under US$70 pretty easily.
Buy a man a cheap suit and cheap shoes and what have you got? A man in a cheap suit and cheap shoes.
Someone, please shake me from this wide-awake nightmare.
Apple does something slightly out of the ordinary -- shave off a few edges, put a spit shine on the thing, throw in a screen -- and they're the heights of hardware innovation.
Yes, cloning Luxo Jr. makes up for it all, but it's the exception that proves the rule. For the most part, a tower is a tower is a tower.
They don't have to be.
Where are cases that look like they'd fit directly in with an entertainment system, replete with integrated DVD-ROMs and elegantly sliding front panels for expansion?
Where are low depth mods of rackmount cases, meant for vertical deployment next to your monitor?
Why is everything so angular? Volvos weren't this boxy. Why is every sharp angle in the computer world the kind of thing you could just *see* a prisoner filing down in about five minutes into a lethal weapon? I mean, I know programmers have a thing for powers of two (bug me, we'll chant 2^n, it's a real party lemme tell ya), and 90 is 360/2/2, but damn. Pass calculus already.
Hell, just to be ornery -- where's a natural keyboard clone you can stick a PC inside? In case you haven't noticed, your keyboard is several times larger than the avarage laptop.
This isn't random complaining. We've got cookie cutter cases with trivial modifications for a reason: Systems that *do* new things are apparently selling better than systems that *look* like they do -- or at least, the economies of scale of making nigh-identical cases are so incredibly massive that every deviation from the standard design introduces order of magnitude slashes of profit margins.
You might say this has as much to do with the limitations of the ATX spec, which specifically for cost purposes enforces fixed locations for all motherboard connectors. I don't know. I saw one random hobbyist with an ATX machine made out of a hollow cylinder of transparent plexiglass, illuminated with LEDs and with a detailed LCD providing system stats. Damn thing was a work of art. Sony, the one company most known for its attention to industrial design, recently came out with the closest "competitor": A _dark_ grey box with a spinach green LCD.
And that's the thing, folks. That hobbyist probably spent dozens of hours hand crafting that beauty. The processes required to make such a unique case are extraordinarily varied and unique, and if every new generation of computers needed completely new case designs, costs would shoot through the roof. Your case would become the most expensive part of your machine.
And so...we don't have unique cases. And I think I'm OK with that. But everyone, please. Unless you're talking about that brilliant homage to Pixar, don't think there's any originality at all among corporate case design.
There's just not. Your dollars have spoken -- maybe even wisely.
Yours Truly,
Dan Kaminsky
DoxPara Research
http://www.doxpara.com
Monica Lewinksy's Karma Horoscope
See how a karmic reading of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky's birth horoscope may provide insights into her choices in life and the consequences of those choices; and how it may shed some new light on her motivations in the President Clinton affair and her subsequent statements surreptitiously taped by Linda Tripp and her statements under oath to Independent Counsel Ken Starr in the Grand Jury investigation of Bill Clinton. I think you will see many things in this reading of Monica Lewinsky's karmic horoscope which validate and perhaps explain the basic issues involved in her personal role in the Bill Clinton sex scandal. Perhaps you will also see how her own choices, which were influenced by her own beliefs (both past and present), actually created the reality the world is watching and participating in today. Even if you choose not to take Karma and reincarnation seriously, I think you will have some voyeuristic fun looking for ways that some of the probable outcomes described in the horoscope reading have actually played out in Monica's specific actions and reactions and experiences in the Clinton affair - such as:
* "clashing with authority figures; at times being the scapegoat"
* "having an unusual appearance or habit & being mocked or scorned"
* "being obsessed with romantic fantasies & unrealistic desires"
* "being obsessed with seeking many unstable & unfulfilling affairs"
* "being let down or deceived--even betrayed--by friends or lovers"
This Karmic Lessons horoscope reading is of the same type offered to Michael Star's clients through STAR SIGNS Astrology Zine , and no changes have been made to make it appear more appropriate to Monica Lewinsky's current affairs. Any person with the same month/day/year/time and town of birth as Monica Lewinsky would receive the same karmic horoscope reading . Some of the same experiences will be faced by many people, for that is the nature of life on earth; but they may manifest in different forms or occur at different times in their lives.
To keep the length of this document as short as possible, the more general overview section of the Karmic Lessons reading has been omitted here. The part dealing with specific "Aspects of Karma" in her horoscope chart has been reproduced in its entirety. At six typed pages, it is longer than the average karmic reading, which may indicate an "old soul" who has chosen to deal with many karmic lessons in this particular lifetime.
Remember, if we are immortal Spirits, then the body is only the "costume", the psyche is only the "character", and our Soul or Spirit is really the same actor playing a new character in a new costume. The elements of the "plot" are chosen before incarnation; but the play itself is subject to "improvisation" in "real-time" as the life-long drama unfolds and the characters interact. We can create a comedy or a tragedy, for we are writing the script as our Souls come back to play a new role on this stage we call Space/Time.
All that really matters is the choices we make, and those choices and their consequences continually change the reality we experience. Karma is just old choices - old beliefs and old paradigms - which unconsciously create and re-create similar consequences, until we become conscious of them and choose to change them. Free Will supercedes Karma; and it is a reasonable assumption that our Karma was created by our own exercising of our Free Will - that God-given right to choose for ourselves what we create in each lifetime. This is no less a right than the right of a child to choose the course of his own life after he has been raised and guided by the human father and mother who created his body.
As children, we learn from our mistakes. None of us learned to walk without falling down a lot first. Karma is just uncorrected errors and lessons yet unlearned by the Soul that came to animate the child's physical form.
As Werner Erhardt once said: "The Truth shall set you free, but first it might piss you off!" It's like that with our karma. Karma is simply a persistent reminder to challenge us to perceive the Truth, even though we perceive it as a thorn in our side. It is more persistent than our own stubborn refusal to see the ultimate universal Truths; so eventually we will learn the hard way, even if we refuse to learn the easy way.
Often it is only when the consquences of our poor choices have created too much pain and suffering that we choose to make and effort to change. This suffering is not necessary if we are willing to see the Truth; but when we choose to ignore the Truth the pain does serve to get our attention ! Mistakes do not require punishment, but they do require correction. Karma is not a punishment; it is the persistent call for a correction.
Only when we realize and accept that we are responsible for creating our own karma, can we choose to change it by making better choices this time around. This is the essential meaning of the old adage: "What goes around, comes around". - The Beatie Boys
Monica's birth horoscope has the Sun in Leo, Moon in Taurus, and Ascendant in Libra. If you wish to follow Monica's weekly horoscope forecast, the general Free Weekly Horoscopes for the Sign of Leo and also for the Sign of Libra will be somewhat relevant - but not as accurate as a personal horoscope reading personal reading using exact birth data, like the forecast published in STAR SIGNS Astrology Zine for President Bill Clinton.
There is much to ponder in this astrological analysis of Monica's Lewinsky's karmic lessons in this lifetime. You are invited to draw your own conclusions from the information presented here; and it is my hope that Monica herself will someday see this and gain some helpful insights from it. There is no intent to do any harm to Monica Lewinsky in publishing this personal reading, but since her private life is already a self-revealed public matter and it impacts on world politics, I have chosen to publish it here for all to consider.
What prompted my decision was President Clinton's statement in the public airing of his Grand Jury testimony that she would be compelled by her psychological nature to reveal their private affair to someone. I tend to agree with his assessment, for our karma forms an important element of our psyche. Choice and Consequences
I tend to see "karma" as a continuance of the soul's "personality" from one physical incarnation to the next - in other words, we carry the same beliefs and experiences in our soul's "memory" each time we incarnate, until we make a conscious choice to change those beliefs, cancel mistaken beliefs, or create new ones.
I also believe that "character is destiny" - for what we believe in our conscious or subconsious mind is what really influences what we choose to create for ourselves in our personal reality. The karma reading is a useful tool for discovering what those beliefs are; so we can choose to change the ones we no longer feel are true for us, and which may be limiting our happiness and success in life. We should always remember that WE create our own karma, and that WE can change it by changing our mind. Until we do, Life keeps reminding us to when we keep creating or attracting situations which reflect the beliefs we are still holding in our minds.
What you read in the first paragraph of each section (the one written in PAST tense) is a summary of the beliefs which Monica's soul had likely formed in its more recent past-life experiences. The following one or two paragraphs list the likely situations these beliefs could create for her in this incarnation. The belief is the Cause, the situations are its Effect. You may be holding onto some similar beliefs, and may be experiencing similar effects in your own lifetime.
For more general information on the karma readings, see the Karmic Gifts page.
Astrologers and students of Astrology: please beware of making the possibly incorrect assumption that a similar aspect in your natal horoscope, or that of anyone else, will have the same meaning as given here in Monica Lewinsky's karmic interpretation. Whether a given aspect is considered a karmic aspect or not depends on other factors specific to the individual's natal horoscope.
a/s/l here. Sorry, adding domain tags to your s
Uhm, we're in the 21st century, and our "computers" are STILL huge metal boxes. Everything in the computerindustry shrinks, but aparently the case is the exception to prove the rule, as they keep making bigger and bigger cases.
Place the latest and greatest Full-Tower-Ultra-Plus-Mega-Giga-ATX case next to say, a Flex-ATX or Micro-ATX case, like the one Tom's Hardware has their hands on here, and tell me which one embodies progress.
Not to mention how nice it would be not to have to lug around a 30+ pound case (not to mention the heavy-ass 21" trinitron monitor) just to go to a LAN party.
*sigh* Big Iron isn't a description of mainframes - it's a description of the standard cases you and I use and the cause of our hernia.
We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
The homosexual factor is waaaaaay below standard Mac rating.
Cellphone-using yuppie fags demand only the best!
It doesn't seem to have the functionality of Apple's form factor. An Apple enclosure (be it Blue & White, Graphite of Quicksilver) has a door that simply swings open after you pull the latch, even while the system is running, making internal parts servicable in seconds. This thing is just shallow cosmetics, and not very convincing at that if you ask me.
As a Mac user for many years, all I can say is, " YUCK!"
cygnuhchur
are there any other places to buy G4 PowerMac cases? i've looked forever with little success.
Some links to check out.
http://www.colorcases.com ( I've dealt with them and recommend them)
http://www.pccase.com
http://www.crazypc.com
A lot of the others posts hightlight one of the very important points about apple cases - the ability to open them up and have everything there easy to access. Brilliant. PC cases have cut me up and stabbed me so many times that this was ground breaking. Like most simple ideas are. But, alsa, that is not my point.
Forgive me, but this case is disgusting. I would be embarrased to show anyone this case, it looks cheap tacky and the sort of thing a wannabe design student from school designed. To coin a phrase, "close but no cigar". Yes the apple case has curves, yes it's smooth plastic, yes it has handles and yes if you copied it out right you would have a law suit on your hands. But if you can't come up with something usefull and good looking dont even goto production.
Let me ask a few questions, can you imagine a group of designers using this case? No neither can I. Can you imagine your parents using this case? Nope, not them. Can you imagine walking into work with your machines looking like this? Nope neither can I. Schools? Nope, Universitys? Nada. yet these are all places where Apples feature and look correct. Please, please, please can someone not come up with a case that is nice to look at, unobtrusive and functional. Surely I am not alone in wanting something like this.
chris at darkrock dot co dot uk
http colon slash slash www dot darkrock dot co dot uk
I don't think his point was "all anyone needs is a $30 case" but "if all you need is a $30 case, don't spend $150 on a fancy looking case". Of course there are good reasons to buy an high-end case, but most cases designed for looks aren't much better than the El Cheapo case you can get from your local computer store.
First off, guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their dick into one are often reluctant to put their face "down there". For every guy who says he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know this, and it affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her. When a guy fingers a lady and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she knows this is her lucky day.
What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer. (Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole body fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop - this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass, and rub a finger all around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash around inside too, if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you do. But don't put those soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that fun? And now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases...
So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach. STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting? I strongly prefer to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into my inner recesses. Use your judgement, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach, up her thighs, until she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it... I also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling my inner thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation.
POSITIONS
If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about your going down on her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half-sitting. Lay down between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy laying or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also straddle your face, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her cunt, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment. And then there's 69...
69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing her, without too much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's easy to short-change your partner. "It feels soooo good, I'm just gonna stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh". Get the picture? Some show of will-power is in order.
69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter two are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down. Some women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives her wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this position. I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a sure choking position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep throat you, this is THE position. When her head is thrust back you can really slide your cock all the way down her throat. But don't forget what you're supposed to be doing!
So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy lesson...
THE CLITORIS
Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally, anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just remember that this is pleasurable teasing, not the main event. I can't tell you how many guys have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that this was going to make me cum. They were wrong. Of course, with a little manual stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.
The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell what feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.
THE TONGUE
I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel terrific, so relax! I promise, you may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great, and I'd no sooner tell guys to "do it exactly like this" than I would tell every chef to follow the same recipe. But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here are a few techniques that you might like to try:
- Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing.
- Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other side.
- Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.
- Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it. Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.
The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.- With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her (see PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER below).
- Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
- Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.
FINGERSFingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across one's clitoris.
Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.
Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.
An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.
Fingers also do nice things to tight little butt holes, but that's a whole other story...
ANAL PLAY
This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't do it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and start wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel that you can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.
Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and rub it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works too.) If that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still feels great. But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger pushed up their ass while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle, possibly even leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a little, or around in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're doing something right.
It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your finger as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably thinking about what that would feel like around your dick, and it's something you should certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of the scope of this article, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a finger up her butt, she sure as hell won't want your big dick up there. Even if she does enjoy this sort of play, she may still be somewhat apprehensive about putting something so large up there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication (a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which is safe for condoms), relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle, approach. She'll certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or deeper. And remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around your cock, reach around and diddle that clit!
As for anallingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to satisfy your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue rove as it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue inside her butt to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and around, you get the picture.
One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in this regard can cause a horrendous infection.
MENSTRUATION
I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it thru intercourse, manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her, great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out the lights, and forget about it.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I think variety is crucial. Some guy posted an article detailing a road map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do the unexpected; sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even even include your nose, or your chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more and more excited, pay more attention to her clitoris. When she's three breathes away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you are doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a sensitive spot.
Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop. This is not easy unless you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you. Say, "Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna cum." Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth just briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this woman squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy the ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman cum.
UUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! (or, I'M COMING!!!)
Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by continuing the stimulation.
How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but need about five minutes to recoup. Many women are so sensitive right after they cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable of cumming again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to cum repeatedly with continued stimulation. This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that is experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.
GODI'MSOEXCITEDITFEELSGREATBUTIJUSTCAN'TCOME
It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety, or just an inability to "let go". What do you do about it? The first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of her own home. If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework. There are two books on the subject that I know of: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach, and Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then tell her to read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!
Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank: "Is there something different I can do?" Many women are shy about criticizing their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster. Ah... perfect.
But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: selfconsciousness and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a "be here now" kind of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft music. Share a glass of port. (I said A glass - getting drunk will definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up comfortably with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on your face, or the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall. Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it up. Forget everything I said about asking her questions - just close your eyes and get into it. I know this can be a difficult and exhausting exercise, but she will be extravagantly thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before she's about to cum anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.
For women who themselves feel that their cunts are dirty or distasteful, all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about their own genitals. They don't love "that part" of their body, and they can't believe that you would either. Yes, it is important to be clean. But clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste. The natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely more comfortable with your loving it too.
Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.
Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.
Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn't it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I've seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special.
Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.
Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.
Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of it's own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.
Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.
Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.
Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently.
Tongue-fuck her. This feels define. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it's covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up tot he top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it's presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.
Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'
There's a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.
But back to your pussy eating session...There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, curing or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.
Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.
She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one who's nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover.
When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.
If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She'd be yours as long as you wanted her.
The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, make her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.
Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.
TASTE:
In my experience, one of the main reasons that partners avoid female oral sex is due to a percieved or even experienced poor taste. While it is true that women run the range from pleasant (tasty!) to sour or uric tasting, there are easy steps to ensure that your partner will be tasting her sweetest.
First and most obviously, a good vigorous shower will do much to neutralize the taste of your partner. In fact, oral sex in the shower, while not a favorite method of mine, has a completely neutral taste if you stick to the upper regions of your partner's sex. If your partner has not showered recently, or has physically exerted herself recently, her taste will be much stronger. This, however, can be a good thing!
Secondly, foreplay will improve upon both the taste and the experience in general if your can get her juices flowing. I have never found an extremely aroused, wet woman to taste unpleasant. Quite the contrary!
FOREPLAY:
Do it! Take your time! Have fun! Experiment! A common male misunderstanding is that females are aroused most through physical contact. Not true. I have aroused women greatly simply by acting sexy. Tension is a wonderful tool, use it. If you can build tension to the point where the barest touch sends electric shivers through both of you, you can't lose! Similarly, even the best love techniques will not turn on a woman who isn't in the mood. (If you can get her in the mood, well then you're talking.)
Take your time, explore your partner (there's a lot more there than nipples and a clitoris!), build tension, have fun.
POSITIONS:
There are two basic positions that I have found very versitile and succesful. For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs, put your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right - somewhat of an intimate hug. Now you should find your head situated conveniently and comfortably near the center of your attention.
Less comfortable, but a bit wilder is the following. Lie on your back, prop a couple of pillows (or fold one over) under your head. Have your partner kneel facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position (IMHO) is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. (Yum) Versatility and comfort are reduced for the giver, so I only occasionally partake in this position.
These are by no means the only positions. Again, experiment, have fun. If you can find a bed where your partner can lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, you're in luck. Now you can have her sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her sex.
GEOGRAPHY:
Woman are very different in some respects of their genitalia, but the major parts are the same. A woman's sex from the oral sex point of view consists of two sets of lips (outer and inner) that meet just below the vaginal opening and some variable distance above the clitoris; the vaginal opening (immediately above the nether meeting of above-mentioned lips), a smooth section of skin between the vaginal opening and the clitoris (I have no clue as to its technical name, hereafter it will be refered to as the "scav") and the clitoris and its surrounding folds.
If you get the chance, explore your partner in a location with decent lighting. Use your hand to spread her sex and explore her, find out what's where and what's what. Like I said earlier, women are different. Especially the location and shape of the clitoris. It can be buried, protruding, surrounded by many folds of flesh, or hanging out it the open. The best method I have found for finding your partner's clitoris (If all else fails, ask!), is to place a finger at the very base of her sex and gently run it up her scav until you feel a slight bump. That's it.
OK, ENOUGH OF THE DETAILS, NOW THE NITTY-GRITTY:
So your partner is showered, excited and feeling sexy. It's the big moment, what to do? Don't simply dive in. Take your time, excite her. In my opinion, I can usually tell how good my partner is at oral sex by how she "goes down" on me. By "going down" I mean the process by which she goes from kising my lips to sucking oh-so-wonderfully on my sex.
Depending on your partner, different methods of going down will work more effectively. If you've gotten to this point with your partner, you should have a fair idea of what she likes. Take advantage of that knowledge. One thing that I highly recommend however, is a sexy look. Sexy looks can make all the difference, and the best place to throw one in is as you're licking, sucking and kissing your way down her stomach stop, look up and smile devilishly.
Unbutton your partners jean's, pull the tabs back and kiss her newly exposed flesh. Unzip her pants, pull the tabs back as far as they can go and place light, tender kisses on her abdomen and around the top of her panties. Watch it, some women are very ticklish here!
(Note the above doesn't work so well if she doesn't have jeans on but you're all smart enough to figure it out...) Once you've removed everything but her panties, stop. You have a unique opportunity for further arousal. Kiss her legs and inner thighs with gentle kisses. Work your way up each leg and make a point of stopping at the line of her underwear. Kiss again along the top of her underwear, and along the other two borders.
Now move to her cotton (silk? lace? latex?) covered sex. Plant firm, dry kisses through her underwear on her sex, low and right around the vaginal entrance works best for me. If your partner is really excited, often her underwear will be damp and will smell (pleasantly) of her sex.
Removing the underwear is again a matter of choice. You know your partner best, I prefer either gently sliding it all the way off with my fingers, or pulling it part way down with my teeth first.
DIRECT KISSING:
It is not unusual for your partner's lips to be closed together. A very excited woman's lips may be slightly spread allready ("pouting"). Again, building tension can be accomplished by light kisses on either side of her sex as well as light blowing. (Do not inflate your partner! This can be very dangerous!!) Spreading her lips can be accomplished by placing your tongue first at the base of her sex, and then firmly running your tongue all the way up. Continue with a few long licks from the base of her sex all the way to the top past her clitoris. Vary the firmness of your tongue from hard and pointed to broad and soft.
THE BIG "O":
The best and most proven method of making your partner cum through oral sex is by repeated, rythmic stroking of her clitoris with your tongue. The tongue is uniquely suited for this purpose because of it's texture, versatility, and pliability. It is difficult (and tiring) to apply too much pressure to your partner's clitoris. Some women are much more sensitive than others however. Be receptive to any sharp gasps, you could be being too affectionate. If this is the case, move away from direct contact or adopt a gentler technique.
Repeated, rythmic stroking can be accomplished in a variety of ways. I prefer either rapid, repeated verticle licks with a firm, pointed tongue, or planting your tongue firmly against your partner's clitoris and vigorously shaking your head back and forth. (Tiring, maybe. But it's worth it!) If you are having trouble finding the correct angle or method for rhythmically lingually carresing her clitoris, or if you want to try something fun and new:
Toungue the abc's. No seriously! This is a great oral excercise on any part of the body. Toungue the abc's starting with lower case, and moving though upper case. (Heck, you could do the whole ANSI ASCII set if you'd like!) Be especially perceptive while you do this, vary your speed and watch for sharp intakes of breath - chances are you've hit the right angle. The abc's give a large variety of different strokes, so come back to this excersize as often as you'd like.
A general rule of thumb (tongue?) is to start slow and pick up the pace as you go along. This is definately a general rule though, feel free to break it by varying your rhythm, both slowly and predictably as well as quickly and startlingly.
OTHER FUN THINGS TO DO:
Lick between the inner and outer lips; penetrate the vagina deeply (a much stronger, iron-like taste here); "tease" the entrance to her vagina with rapid pokes of your toungue at varying depths; don't forget your hands, often a woman will feel a need or ache for something inside of her while very aroused, oblige her with a finger or two. Both kissing and manually manipulating your partner is tough, anyone with succesful methods is welcome to pipe in.
Talk to your partner, ask her what she likes. Experiment (if you can) with many different partners. What excites one woman a lot may not excite another as much, but may still be well worth trying. On the other hand, you may not notice a subtle pleasurable technique on one woman that can be easily learned on another. The better you know your parnter, the more effectively you can please her. Have fun!
A FINAL NOTE:
I tried to be a lot less pretentious than the male version of this article for a few reasons. The major one is that women are very different, the above suggestions may work wonderfully with one woman and so-so with another. Some women simply aren't responsive to oral sex due to strong moral constraints. Secondly, I am not an expert, though I love oral sex and have had the joy of pleasuring 10-20 women. Third, I am still young (18) and have a lot to learn.
So feel free to comment on what you've read (men and women) and reply either over the net or to me personally. Thanks. Hope you found this helpfull and enjoy!
Q. What is cunnilingus?
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it.
What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina.
This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.
Q. How fast should I go?
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.
Some women may like additional stimulation-- a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.
Q. I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.
As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.
Q. What about cunnilingus during menstruation?
Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.
Mac-like cases have been around for ages. Nobody wants them. Why would someone buy a Porsche 911 and then make it look like a Ford Ka?
I don't particularily care HOW nice a cse looks..... unless it is functional as well then it is just pretty eye candy coating of a poor case design. Even the Chinese PC case market with all their plastic mouldings and bulges here and there have made "kind of decent" cases that allow the mobo to swing out like the G3/G4 power macs. I have Celeron2 based minitower cased in plastic mouldings beside me that I use as a home server - upgrading or swapping hard drives is just a "push button, flip out side, fark around inside for a bit, slam side shut". Now that is functional.... - HeXa
To be succint and sum up what everyone has said, will say, and was thinking of saying, its been done already. And frankly, they weren't that good.
Love and Peace,
Valen
"The best compliment a girl ever gave me was 'Your hair smells nice.' I hate being the platonic friend." -Valen
A friend of mine in the mid-seventies put an aluminum V8 into a little Toyota (or maybe it was a Datsun, I forget.). Took quite awhile and a lot of mods on the poor little Toyota. He then drove the thing to Kansas.
The point? Well, I think he did it so he could say he did it. That and the little Toyota could smoke anything else on the street. Computer hardware mods are kinda like that too. Fun to do and the result is you have something unique (or at least different from the mainstream.)
I once hacked an Atari ST into a beige tower PC case. Wasn't much point in the exercise other than my ST looked a whole lot different than other STs and I learned alot about hacking hardware. Case modding is overall pretty damn cool, IMO.
Everything in the Universe sucks: It's the law!
Hmm, well, looking at it my first impression was "really nice", but then, looking more closely, some things are off ...
/. crowd has some answers :-)
1) The "handles" are not handles, but rather ugly protrusions. What a pity!
2) as some ppl before me mentioned, as soon as you put your standard-beige drives in the drive trays, it will look a lot crappier than now. Do they plan to provide some way to cover the beige ugliness?
3) and most important: You can't swing open the side door. That feature alone (and only that one, maybe) would convince me to go for such a case, despite the price tag. Because that is just a plain good idea. But no, not in this case.
This makes me wonder: Is there a technical reason (I am no big hardware tweaker myself, so I am asking) that an assembly as seen with the G3/G4 macs can't be done in the PC world? Mount the motherboard on a swing-out side panel and leave enough room for the connectors so that it can be opened even when the box is running, and nothing snags or breaks? Why isn't this the standard way of mounting a PC?
questions, questions, but I am sure the
If you want a case that would go well with your stereo / VCR / TV, check out this one:
ATC600
RMN
~~~
Does anyone know where there are some decent pictures of an Apple case thats opened up?
I mean, we've all heard the propoganda (oh, the Nazi's did propoganda**), but I never actually see any pictures of an Apple with all of its guts hanging out. So to speak!
**[Joke - works best if you're into Eddie Izzard]
> has a door that simply swings open after you
:-)
:-P
> pull the latch, even while the system is running
I've read this on more than one post. Not exactly a unique feature, is it? I mean, don't all PCs continue to run normally when you open the case? Or, if they're running Windows ME, don't they continue to crash normally?
And don't a lot of cases (Chieftec, etc.) open with a simple latch?
Personally I even find real Mac cases ugly, and this one is uglier.
I really can't see how this article belongs in Slashdot. Are they going to mention every new PC case that hits the market? Or are these cases made / sold by some member of Slashdot's staff...?
This is nearly as bad as the article about adding a plexiglass bubble to your case, which apart from being terribly interesting (NOT), didn't have a single picture in focus.
RMN
~~~
I admit, I used to be just like this guy. I used to work at a PC store/repair shop and I despised macs to no end. In fact, the company I worked for wouldn't even allow someone to drop one off because no one wanted to deal with "those damn macs".
/. without reading the damn article first.
So, i was a mac hater for a long time. And i would use all the excuses that people still use. They don't have any software support, they are expensive, people only buy them cause they're pretty, etc etc.
But,a few months ago a friend of mine bought a powerbook, and i began my usual mac taunting. He then told me to come over and try it out. Now I own a powerbook and i'm happy as all hell with it.
Point being, give'em a chance. Go and try using one at an apple store for a little while. Mac bashing without ever trying one (especially since OS X) is like posting comments on
my last sig was too controversial... now, a new and improved useless sig!
Try Apple's Power Mac "expansion" page.
We PC users feel inferior because of the recent study about mac users being more intelligent, so we need special cases to feel (or at least pretend to be) smarter.
Makes you wonder though... one day after the aforementoned study, now this?
self-esteem complex, anyone?
It's not a Mac. Doesn't look a blessed thing like a Mac. Doesn't have any of the attractive features of a Mac (flip down motherboard, e.g.) It doesn't have the fit and finish of a Mac. It's not ergonomic. It doesn't look like the ventilation is all that good, either.
I was recently in the market for a new case. This is what I wanted. Unfortunately, the Chancellor of the Exchequer and Keeper of the Privy Purse shot me down. So I've got a big beige box with beaucoup fans. It's functional, and sits under the table where big ugly boxes belong.
Now, how about some Stuff That Matters?
News for birds. Stuff that splatters.
Really. If you buy PC's, for whatever reason, stand to it. Trying to make it look like a Mac is just low.
The only skin on a computer should be porn.
Why bother to wait for the review next week? It's just a standard ugly box with some crapiola facing. What makes a good box is not just on the outside.. I get sick looking at the layout inside... it's the standard crap box.. and for god's sake what's with the stupid design of having a flap for the front inputs?!?!?!?! Most of us will be using at least one of the ports and makes the damn flap useless.. how about making the design around the inputs so it blends in without the usage of a front flap.
This is no more a Mac case clone than a Hyundai is a Ferrari clone
IM(NS)HO, of course
---
Information wants...you to shut your pie hole.
You could Build a PC Inside of a Mac
I love this case! It doesn't look like something Apple would build, because IT LOOKS BETTER! You just don't like it because it's too cutting edge for you and Apple wouldn't have the courage to release something like this.
Of course, this is just my opinion. I happen to love this product too.
Insert simplistic political, ideological, or personal proselytization here.
That's a nice looking case, but it lacks one major feature of the G4 Mac cases, the ability to pull down the cover where the MB is actuall attached and get access to everthing nicely. nice looking plastics though.
-- DuckWing
The picture the other poster linked to is nice, but to really appreciate it, I suggest you visit a computer store that sells Macs, find an understanding salesperson, and ask to have a look inside the case (even if you don't do it yourself, have them open it up). It's really a thing of beauty.
--
Runnin' around, robbin' banks all whacked on the Scooby Snacks...
I am tired of these fucking Mac articles. I am tired of you Apple marketing astroturfers. When is Slashdot going to be about geek stuff again?
Rob? Did they core out your skull or something?
When did you sell the dried husk of Slashdot to Apple Computer as a marketing gimmick?
A company in Japan was successfully sued for making a line of PCs that looked like Macs. It was reported on "Japan this day"(tm), on NHK World about two years ago.
Who is the idiot that keeps modding messages WITHOUT A SINGLE REPLY as flamebait? Do you even know what the word means...? Christ, Slashdot moderators should have to do an IQ test...
And BTW, I agree with the guy above who said this looks more like free advertising than news. I bet the editor who decided to post this crap has a little shop where he sells those ugly cases.
News by nerds - stuff that no-one gives a fuck about!
This is my favorite function of the Power Mac case design and I wish more PC case designers would lift it.......some of them are getting better, but still haven't found much close to this (the closest I remember was some Toshiba designs where the motherboard could be slid out somehow....not as good, but an interesting start).
hey, taco, it comes in black.
It's farkin' hideous... the design, the color, the functionality, etc.
The only thing it has in common with a Mac case is the shiny plastic.
As a former repair tech at a PC/Apple shop, I've known for years that Apple has been consistantly (not 100% of the time, just most times) superior to other consmer PCs as far as hardware design goes. Cases included.
And has anyone has the occasion to use Apple ServiceSource? Simply the best repair documentation ever. Down to sample startup sounds for the laser printers. We used to put the new guys on Apple repair because just about any moron with average reading comprehension abilities and a screwdriver could follow the procedures in there.
The problem has always been the OS, and the costs of the hardware.
Fixing one out of two isn't bad, right?
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
That doesn't look much at all like a mac case - first of all it doesn't have the trademark handles, and feet that lift it up. Secondly, there's no distinctive trademark on the side.
Just because it doesn't look like a hunk of junk doesn't mean that it looks like a mac.
- passion
In fact, this is very reminiscent of my trusty G3 Blue-and-White, aka "Yosemite":
http://www.xoxide.com/ecmid.html
It's reasonably priced too...
--.\\-H--
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power multiplied.
I seem to recall seeing an advertisement in the back of Wired or Web Tecniques,er,New Architect every issue for exactly that. Damned if I can find the advert now that I'm actually looking for it though...
What I really wanted to see take off was a company about three or four years ago that was making PC cases that were anodized aluminum cubes rotated such that they were effectively standing on one point. That had the advantage of using a standard square motherboard and looking terribly cool.
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
I would like to see a Titanium-like PC notebook. With _big_ screen and slim shape it would be a cool thing. And of course, bigger keyboard - in Titanium a keyboard is smaller than the case and it annoys me.
Before I get any more irony-impaired moderators too quick on the "Troll -1" draw, here is an explanation.
:: a real Apple Power Mac :: a real Porsche 935
this PC clone case
as
this 911 dressed up like a Porsche 935
That is to say, they both vaguely look alike, but in both cases, the clone is a pale comparison of the original.
Insert simplistic political, ideological, or personal proselytization here.
An SGI o2 Clone. Now that I'd like to see...
The power supply isn't proprietary. I cobbled together a G4/400 in a B&W G3 case a few years back from parts found around the building when I worked at Apple. The power supply was a plain old ATX unit.. nothing proprietary about it at all.
I have always been a fan of cheap beige cases. Not for the color itself, but specifically for the price. I also look for functionality - since I spraypaint my cases another color anyways.
What I would like to see is a good spray that will coat my case/laptop with that 'wet'-looking gloss, and not wear down easily.
I attempted to use one type of gloss coat on my laptop, but parts of it still wear down. (such as the corners)
Anyone have any advice for this 'magical' gloss I'm looking for?
not only is it uglier than a g4 case, it lacks the useful carrying handles! sign me up!
Sometimes I wonder if half the people who post here aren't real people but various characters from different episodes from Seinfeld. Get a damn life!
There is a reason it doesn't look exactly like a mac case.
People here seem to have forgotten that apple (along with every other major computer manufactor) patents their products. If this company made a case that looked exactly like the mac case, they'd probably get their asses sued off by apple inc.
I still haven't found the "any" key.
So you can cram an ATX mother board into a PC, i can cram a B&W into a shop vac! http://applefritter.com/hacks/shopmac/index.html
t ml
Or Mod an old Zenith Radio case for a 7600.
http://applefritter.com/hacks/dlz3/index.h
And sadly both happen all the time...congrats on having a open mind, even if it took a while.
So Silly,
Let's see we can make our PC LOOK like a MAC from the exterior. Then we have all these silly skins so we can make our desktop LOOK like a MAC. Ummm why not buy a MAC and stop this silly obsession with LOOKING like MACS. C'mon people have some originality
Ah, yes...a Mac case with a slot for floppy drive. It's a dead ringer. ;-)
This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
Sounds like a problem to me.
Since when does the appearance of a machine affect it's functionality? I get immensely irritated by the whiney 'my computer is better than yours because I think it looks better' Mac crowd.
Please, all Mac users, grow up.
Ditch the three hard drives for one large hard drive. Partition as necessary.
And watch disk performance go down the tube when one head seeks back and forth between the swap file and the data. For another thing, how did you know that the hard drives weren't in a RAID array?
Put an IDE internal ZIP drive in the floppy bay ... Put [a floppy drive] in the 3.5" floppy drive bay
Ummm... neither the PC floppy bus nor the ATA bus is hot swap capable.
Will I retire or break 10K?
Reminds me of the E-Power and the eOne. Coincidentally, all three of them share a common feature: They look like cheap Mac rip-offs that would cause any self respecting PC user to be the victim of a beat down for being a wuss. And, if any lesson can be learned from the fate of the former two, it isn't a good idea to walk around admitting that you tried to mimic the Mac design.
"Ever wanted a Mac case for your pc?" fuck no.
i cant stand using a mac for very long, not just cuz its slow on the internet, i cant stand the design. it looks like something a 5 year old came up with. i love my plain grey monitor and case.
Competition in America: If you can't beat 'em, Sue 'em!
Does anybody else think that it looks like a 9500 deep fried in a shiny silver shellack coating?
I'm a BSD Geek who sells PC & Mac's for a living...I demo Power Mac's all day long.....All I want is a nice pc case that FOLDS OUT like a mac case.....Elongated oval drives doors and a handle do not make for a Mac Case......
Here's the thing: I've seen a PC case that is built like a Mac case, and it's a clusterfuck.
/Brian
Walk into any CompUSA and go looking for a case that bears a significant resemblance to a late-model HP Pavilion case. I don't even want to get into the quality of the case (execrable; it's meant for a full ATX board but has piss-poor ventilation; it also falls apart a bit too easily) or the looks of the case (copies HP's design while completely failing to capture its elegance). The big problem is that the ATX spec just doesn't work for this kind of design.
The case in question (I think it's OEM by Fujitsu, but this is more speculation than anything else) initially appealed to me because of its easy access design. Just like a Mac case, it's a drop-side design, and in theory could probably be opened up while running. The big problem is that it's just not practical with the current design; the ATX power connectors are usually towards the top of the board, which is a very inconvenient place for a power cable; not only is the cable in the power supply that comes with the case too short, there is no obvious way to get it out of the way of daughtercards, fans, etc.
I do think a case design like this is a really good idea. Unfortunately, it's just not practical with the ATX spec, and the case featured in the parent article (which is a very poor rendition of its inspiration to begin with) is just a plain old case. At least the Lian Li cases have easy-removal mobo trays and substantial sex appeal...
Now if someone would just release a regular BEIGE case that I can fit a G4 Mobo into, I might consider getting some new Mac hardware.
I have multiple computers, some of them are Macs. I will not buy a new Mac because they are so damned ugly.
I don't want it to look "pretty" I want it to look normal. I can not take seriously any machine that looks like it came from the Buck Rogers prop room.
My E-one(433)'s are still ticking along just fine.
I know there were a number that had problems with hard drives (one of mine did, right out of the box), and that the power supplies are too small.
But to fault the design as too, mac'ish is too simple an approach to the reason for the demise.
The All-In-One approach, using notebook components is a solid, right idea, green lowpower computers with tight integration between components.
Just the computer for Mom, or the kids.
The addition, or non removal of the PCMCIA slots was great, and the inclusion of RCA video in to capture video straight from the VCR, great.
I'm not claiming the the machines were powerhouses, they were not, and were not mean't to be.
The killer was the law suit over 'look infringement'.
That combined with production flaws and shipping induced failures killed the EOne, but only the Courts can hold back the concept.
The All-In-One has been here before, and it will come back again, the popularity of all notebook homes (homes with more than one PC, but no desktop PC's) is a sign of consumer demand.
But don't most PC cases look and feel close enough? If not, I am going to go patent a Black computer case and the "Retro" Beige case right now..
Tibbon
tibbon.com