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If Programming Languages Could Speak
HealYourChurchWebSit writes "BurningBird's "The Parable of the Languages" offers a delightfully playful answer to the the question, "[what] if programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound.""
I love the fact that C only says, "Bite me!"
A lot of programmers would get an earfull!
My money is on "hello world."
We can neither love nor pity nor forgive. If you make a slip in handling us you die!
I'd say php is screaming for mercy right about now, given the slashdotting fate has pushed it's way.
"I object to doing things that computers can do." -- Olin Shivers, lispers.org
How much C would a sea slug code if a sea slug could code C?
"If Slashdot had worthwhile stories...."
I'd have a -lot- more time!
Being a Slashdot addict I have to read every story and the posts. This is plain mean!
XML vs Johnny Cage
A tree were to fall in a forest, and kill C, would anyone really care? GO FORTRAN!
"Hey, where am I?"
-QFortan: Kill me! Kill me! I hate my life dammit!
HTML: What do you mean, i'm not a programming language??
C: I need to kill some of my relatives.. C++ is nice, but C# is just microsoft's whore
I've found a mirror here
I hope you enjoy it as much as I didn't.
Java would say why god WHY?!?!?!?!
they said, frowning at HTML. "Listen - being listed as a programming language on some chump's resume - and it doesn't matter HOW many resumes - does not a programming language make!"
Experts agree: everything is fine.
Bring me my bow of burning code.
Bring me my arrows of design.
Hilary Rosen's speech was about her love of money and her desire to roll around naked in a pile of money.
... although it's not much of a conversationalist. It keeps trying to explain something called a "parse error"?
"Stop Anthropomorphizing Me. Instead, go outside and play".
Dr. Joseph Hairston
Superintendent, CCBC
No can do. Open source software never fails. It has no bugs and is perfect in every way. You must be using it wrong.
That's kinda good - it's speak would be pretty boring:
10
20
30
40
. . .
A converstaion would take all day.
...javascript wasn't even invited to the party. Doesn't that violate some kind of anti-discrimination law? I mean, just because it's constantly disabled doesn't mean it's not a valuable member of programming society too...
Don't blame me that I suck... Blame those guys over there... (Pointing to Macromedia)
Our development team has just finished a huge Flash MX project and they are all complaining about how it tries to be a language but it's too buggy to do anything but suck sometimes.
We'll see if things change with Flash MX for Java
"It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it."
Danger Will Robinson, danger!
Slash-for-Thought
Java was too busy trying to clean a bag out of Babbling Creek.
it was garbage collecting... ho ho
'Be the change you want to see in the world' - Al Gore
...is that all of Visual Studio was outside the gates and not allowed to join the party because the stupid punks weren't compatible and didn't get along well with their counterparts.
(No, this isn't just blatant anti-M$ hatred, but rather the ranting of a student who is mad that his class is using Visual C++ and wants to just be able to use gcc and not deal with Windows)
PHP Script: Ho hum, the live of a script can be very boring, what's this? Hmm getting a lot of requests here. Well the server can handle the load. Oh wow it's getting hot in here, hey apache is giving me some signals to start rejecting people. But that apache guy sure is an asshole, I'll just ignore him, besides it's only a few requests. The server has the bandwidth and the processing power to easily handle this load, and it's probably just a spike, it'll die down soon. Hey what's that burning smell? Oh wow one of the processors died. Woah what's that puddle over there? Oh the T1's DSU just melted. So we're down to 2 processors, errr 1 processor, and the web server's connection switched over to the cable modem.
I suppose Logo would have said something, but it took him wayyy to long to travel, and it turned out he'd been heading in the wrong direction by about 10 degrees anyway.
W
-------------------
This is my SIG. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
I don't remember what its OS was called. . . probably something stupidly simple like AmigaOS. Anyway, the reason I bring it up is the Guru Meditation Error. As frustrating as it was to see this--it was an ancestor to the BSoD--at least it showed you can work in the OS business and still have a sense of humor.
!#@%*)anks for hanging up the phone, dear.
LISP is the language that discovers there is no spoon, and learns to bend itself. In so doing, it becomes master of them all.
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
Well, the site got crunched. Here's a text-only mirror:
Click here
Am I a hipster-doofus?
...a delightfully playful answer to the the question, "[what] if programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound.""
Wait a second, that's not even a question. In fact, the whole statement doesn't make any sense.
"Kunta...Kunta Kinte"
October 08, 2002
...and tromped that little XML into the dirt. Yes, into the very dirt at their feet. Basic tromped, and C++ tromped, and Java cleaned and tromped and cleaned again, and COBOL tried to throw a kick at XML's head but fell over on its cane. Even LISP pulled itself out of the pond to throw loopy hands around XML's throat, but only managed to choke its ownself.
TechnologyThe Parable of the Languages
If programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound.
After all, the original programmers were philosophers, and programming languages were philosopher tools...
(Photo intensive, and weird. Very.)
In Babble Meadow, in the twilight hours between day and night, when pesky noseeums float past on the breeze and birds rustle among leaves in preparation for bed, the programming languages would meet. And talk.
The talk would start as it always started, on issues profound and serious, focusing on the existential core that is center to all languages.
Do I exist or not? In this never-ending loop of life, when is the purpose? Where should I go, and what should I do when I get there? What comes after the end?
(It's not easy being a programming language, in forced contemplation of the existence of Self, day in and day out.)
However, after a time the languages would loosen up. There was something about Babble Meadow -- something that worked its way into their hearts and souls, loosened their threads, opened their parameters. The Meadow was magic, no doubt.
Today, though, the group was quiet, much quieter than usual, because one of their members, PHP, was not its usual cheerful self. In fact, one could say that PHP was in a true funk, if one had a mind to say something like that aloud, or within the hearing of one's boss. Or doctor.
Why the blues, PHP, the other languages asked. All the languages that is but C, because all C ever said was "bite me", being a rude language and hard to live with, but still respected because it was such a good worker.
And PHP answered:
All I ever do, day in and day out, is work and work and work. The only time I'm noticed is when I break, and then I'm cursed and kicked, and roundly blasted for being useless. However, when things go well, I never get a kind word.
There's no notice of my ease of use, my elegance, my simplicity. Only my failures.
rockwallsm.jpgAnd on that dark note, PHP fell into a contemplative silence, dark cloud heavy with aggrieved sorrow.
You think you have it bad, said C++. Try being me.
Without me entire industries would fail, banks would close, ships would sink, trains would crash. Why, I virtually run the world.
Yet the only time I'm noticed is when a memory leak is found or an exception occurs, and then I'm cursed, and sworn at, and ruthlessly debugged with nary a thought for my sensibilities.
Each of the languages nodded their heads, because they knew about C++ sensibilities, it being a most sensitive language. In fact, Perl was so moved by C++'s eloquence, it felt compelled to speak, though normally at these gatherings Perl would sit quietly in a corner, consuming pattern after luscious mouth watering pattern.
PHP, C++, I sympathize with you both. My own state is a sorry one at times.
I match and match and match and match, first cryptically and now objectively, but still I match and match and match. And match after flawless match is taken for granted though I'd like to see others match with such style and elegance as myself.
Why, you can't mention "regular expression" without my name coming up.
But do I get any credit? No.
O it's Larry Wall this, and Larry Wall that, and Larry Wall, he's our guy.
But it's grab the Perl interpreter when a task is close at hand.
As Perl finished, Python and Ruby looked at each and rolled their eyes. For all that talk of matching, you'd think that Perl could at least rhyme.
FORTRAN reached up a withered hand and patted Perl's shoulder.
ceilingsm.jpg
There, there, Perl. There, there.
At the very least, though, you must remember that you have a place still in the world. As for myself, I am nothing more than a wisp, a ghost of my former strong and virile self.
There was never a scientific problem I couldn't handle, or complex equation I couldn't solve. At one time I was a master of my domain, the king of the processor.
Now, sadly, my glory days are over, and I'm doomed to live my twilight years as Legacy code.
As FORTRAN wheezed to a stop, COBOL was emphatically nodding its head, unable to speak, though, because of the oxygen tube up its nose (for which the other languages were secretly thankful because COBOL did tend to maunder a bit about its glory days).
At that the floodgates of complaints was loosed, and the noise increased and increased and increased, to the point that squirrels came out of their holes, and birds peered over the edges of their nests. Suddenly the quiet glen was quiet no more.
lilypadsm.jpgWhat about me, said Pascal. I'm only used for training. Training! What good is a language that's only used in school?
What about me, said SNOBOL. No one's even heard of me!
What about me, said C#. I look like Prince!
Bite me! said C.
LISP would have spoken, but it had caught a glimpse of itself in the pond and fell in when it tried to meet itself coming. And Java was too busy trying to clean a bag out of Babbling Creek.
garbagesm.jpg
The noise rose and rose, and the babble increased and increased until across the meadow, from the trees roared a Voice.
Enough!
I tire of your bickering, I weary of your complaints. I grow bored with your list of whims and whines and 'poor mes'.
I thought this was going to be a party! If I knew it was going to nothing more than a bitching session, I would have stayed home.
The languages stopped their talking at once. Who was it that called out? They counted heads and arranged themselves alphabetically (C++ having to position Basic, because it never did learn the alphabet), and counted heads again and came up with the same answer from the North, South, East, and West -- all the programming languages were accounted for.
As they puzzled and wondered, the bushes at the end parted and XML walked into the light.
XML! Exclaimed C++. What are you doing here? You're not a programming language.
Tell that to the people who use me, said XML.
I'm considered the savior, the ultimate solution, the final word. Odes are written to me, flowers strewn at my feet, virgins sacrificed at my altar.
Programmers speak my name with awe. Companies insist on using me in all their projects, though they're not sure why.
And whenever a problem occurs, someone somewhere says, "Let's use XML", and miracles occur and my very name has become a talisman against evil.
And yet, all I am is a simple little markup, from humble origins. It's a burden, being XML.
At that XML sighed, and the other languages, moved by its plight gathered around...
And each language could be heard to mumble as it tromped and tromped and tromped, with complete and utter glee:
Have to parse XML, eh? Have to have an XML API, eh? Have to work with SOAP and XML-RPC and RSS and RDF, eh?
Well parse this, you little markup asshole.
The End.
"Listen child, if I have to tell you one more time to end each line with a semicolon, I'm going to smack you upside the head. And who's idea was to portray me as a Camel and Lama! How's a lady like myself going to get a man, when you look like a damn humped camel!"
Live web cams
It's called VoiceXML.
And the Spaghetti Code said, "Goto Hell"
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
For those of you without a sense of humour, it is sarcasm for entertainments sake.
"Developers Developers Developers Developers!"
!#@%*)anks for hanging up the phone, dear.
You appear to be writing a buffer overflow. Would you like me to start the wizard for that?
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
Is it just me, or did all of the languages come off as whiny little primadonnas, complaining that they are not loved and worshipped as much as they themselves think they should be?
For some strange reason, this strikes me as appropriate.
God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
Larry Wall would make them carp, croak, cluck, and confess.
"first post"
Do you think anyone would actually understand it?
Somewhat on topic, is SQL considered a "programming language"? And if so, what would MySQL say (especially on /.'s servers)?
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
What do they mean it never learned the alphabet?
COBOL: Why, when I was your age...
Assembly: uses only a few small words.
Prolog: ((()))
(No, this isn't just blatant anti-M$ hatred, but rather the ranting of a student who is mad that his class is using Visual C++ and wants to just be able to use gcc and not deal with Windows)
/. posting before bed
I overheard some of my fellow CIS students chatting the other day. They were complaining that we still use GCC and that we're not using MS Visual C++. Personally, I much prefer using GCC and I'm very happy on our Solaris systems.
I suppose there's no real point to this story, just a slow Friday night...one last
If perl could talk, it would be the ultamate in l33t speak.
Mirrored here in case original site got /.'ed.
:)
Go easy on my server...
Welley Corporation - SLM Scammers
and Assembley would sound like Rainman... constantly muttering and repeating itself. 48 Matches... definately 48...
Cobol: Please! Disconnect my life support and let me die.
It was a little harsh on FORTRAN really. I'd say that it's still the major programming language for scientific computing. I don't use it personally, but a lot of people I work with do.
Damn, why did OCaml and Scheme have to be left out of the fun of beating the shit out of the evil that is known as XML? Especially considering that OCaml could fuckin annihilate most of the other languages present, except for Lisp and C (and that's just because C does its bidding outside of the world of high level languages); with that in mind, it could really pound the crap out of XML.
Assembly: Listen to you young whipper-snappers whine. In my day we walked through 10 miles of printouts without any shoes, and we liked it!
Then raw binary spoke up and said: Feet? You had feet?
(The punch line is stolen from somebody, but I can't remember who)
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
Born to be the universal languange, but only few really use it.
-=-=-=-=
I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
"When relegated to obscure embedded applications, look as good you will not."
speaks just like yoda - "world hello, I am"
...but the first time I compile something and my pc says "All your code are belong to us!", I am going to blow the fuckin thing up.
They would say what we want them to say. They are finite state machines programmed by us, to work how we want them to work and have a knowledge base consisting of what we have "taught" them.
Would you really care as to what they have to say if we have heard it all before? They don't have feelings or emotions towards anything. Whatever they tell us is just regurgitated knowledge from a database. Therefore we know what a computer would say if it could speak: "Here is a finite answer to your bounded question."
Until we fully understand how our brain works, particularly the part(s) relating to imagination, and we can transfer that knowledge into machine code, then maybe computers would give us something worth listening to. Until then, I don't want to hear how it is doing today, just load up UT thanks.
i am a programming language, really i am, really, uncle bill says so,
My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
I've been in touch with Shelley (the author) via email. I've been trying to convince her to write a SQL based upon some higher level languages. I could only imagine the derision for nasties such as dBase, PowerBuilder and Access. Hopefully they get the crap kicked out of them as well.
--- have you healed your church website?
Lisp would blow out rings of sweet smoke, as it rests back on its arm ..."
chair, whispering "nice try kids, but not quite the real thing
Gosling and Stroustrup race out of the room, fearing she might reach for
the louded revolver right beside her martini.
I'm not sure if it'd be laughter at people's code or just evil laughter when you ask where the missing semicolon is, but they'd all definately be too busy laughing to speak.
Introducing the new Occam Fusion! Now with sqrt(-1) fewer blades!
Got and Eraser?
Hey, can you post a link to that story about the buffer overflow in .NET?
:-)
What is that? You DON'T know of one? You're post couldn't have been un-educated MS flame.
Wow. I'm so suprised.
A speech...
Just imagine what BrainFuck would say.......
Slashdot is like Playboy: I read it for the articles
Björn Stenberg & Linus Nielsen Feltzing developed this language called the Shakespeare Programming Language
Check out the The Fibonacci drama
It even compiles !!!
- Sam
Halfway through I could imagine Assembler showing up with long blond hair, a torque, a hammer and lightning strikes...
Non-Linux Penguins ?
Visual basic was unable to speak at todays conference, due to the fact that its lips crashed.
I'm never going to achieve Nirvana with my Karma
C'mon buddy! I know you haven't coded in a while, but I'm easy! Seriously, just a few subs and you'll be back at it, I garuntee! C'mon man, just a few lines, whattayasay? Eh? Eh?
HAHAHAHAHHA NOOB YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A DECENT ARRAY ANYMORE!!! WORTHLESS!
I am an ancient self taught programmer. I always look upon my choice of languages as the choice of mechanics tools. If I had to screw in a screw I used a screwdriver; but if I had to screw in a "gazillion" screws I would choose a more powerful screwdriver (or something equivalent) it's like comaring COBOL with RPG or APL or something entirely different.
Use the right tool or set of tools to accomplish your task. Using my above analogy ever used a screwdriver as a pry-bar or a simple lever? That is not what it was designed for but it did save you some time. Every tool/language was built for a specific purpose and was/is somewhat limited by what the designers imagined. Tell me how anyone can predict and design for the future and I can probably show just as many "The greatest thing since sliced bread" (GP)* dead programming languages.
We must stop using language as a "limiting" factor of what we can do. Anyone up to a XXXX server serviced by a YYYY interface written in ZZZZ?
I would like to think that we are given an idea from that generate the algorithm and then and only then decide what tools we use to implement this.
Does it really matter today whether we use VB, C++,C# or PERL as long as the end results are the same. Please disregard the obvious maintence problems but even these can be overcome with extensive documentation.
Course I haven't had formal training in Systems Analysis in about 12-15 years the concept hasn't changed that much... Or has it?
* General Purpose
Very nicely done. Thanks.
If my thick, hard, veiny, purple cock could speak, what would say?
Probably "RUB ME"
Prolog would start to say something, but get stuck in a rut--stuck in a rut--stuck in a rut--...
- (Pats Pascal on the back) I still use ya, bud.
haiku
/haiku
My buffer overflows;
I feed script kiddies so they
can auto-send mail.
This space for rent.
This was the biggest waste of time EVER! I totally waited through a slashdot effect just to read this stupid thing. This is more like "what if people who supported these languages complained?" Whoop de do.
"Basic tromped, and C++ tromped, and Java cleaned and tromped and cleaned again"
Who woulda thought that garbage collection makes a great running gag.
While the slashdotted page loaded (very slowly) I tried to image what C would say. I knew it would have to be very crude.
I was SOOO happy when it turned out to be "bite me". It's so perfect.
God, I hate C.
Not enough academic languages. I think ML and some variants are important languages.
Prolog deserved a kick in the pants too. I imagine Prolog as the original Rube Goldburg cludge. Something that always malfunctions. Perhaps it could be a dyslexic who can't say anything clearly and tends to repeat itself.
Rocky J. Squirrel
Do you think Lisp would have a speech impediment?
This would be better suited for an askslashdot article. Except, of course, that slashdot isn't a site about slashdot, it's a site about jackoffs and legos, but not news about slashdot going bankrupt, or why slashdot sucks.
Anyhow,....
Slashdot proves that mysql doesn't scale and/or the slashdot crew have no business writing a web application/administering a db.
Let's look at the facts.
1) Sourceforge recently switched from mysql to db2. Partly because they have a business relationship with IBM, partly because mysql couldn't handle the volume.
2) Slashdot probably has more hardware resources that you do. I think they have 2 machines serving static pages, 3 machines doing dynamic pages, and 2 mysql machines (1 for current, 1 for archived). A *Lot* of what you see is static (all the front pages, the default [score 1 threaded] comment pages). And it goes down faster than Jon Katz in the little boys room (and almost as often).
3)Mysql is faster than postgresql for simple queries. But, if you're just using simple queries, sleepycat db can do it faster (with non-SQL syntax).
Before switching dbs, consider what the bottleneck really is, and why it's there. How often does the content change? Do you need an SQL query every page hit? Does perl/php/cfm/asp need to be run for every page? Could you dump some or all og the dynamic pages to static pages and serve them instead? Check your logs and see what pages/tables get hit the most (profile).
What the heck sort of name is Bjarne Stroustrup? And how do you pronounce that anyway...
w av
Then the clouds would part and in a booming voice it would ring out for all to hear:
http://www.research.att.com/~bs/pronounciation.
come on fhqwhgads
Its a shame that Moto was talking too fast for the others to hear. The could learn a lot from the fellow.
if (your_language != &standard) {
stfu(your_language);
i++;
}
Damn it! If only I had mod points...
Did you actually read the linked article? Go back and read it. It's definitely Slashdot-worthy. (And if you disagree, you must not be a real geek.)
How about 246 toothpicks? Definitely. Not everyone has Rainman's memory.
Here's another secret:
Kmart sucks.
--
--
And because it's completely impossible for normal people to understand.
Please, let me die with dignity before I do any more harm.
"She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
Some ANSI C code of mine (this is simple stuff -- i've only been working with C on-and-off for a year or so -- I'm a Visual Basic refugee) compiles perfectly with gcc, which isn't surprising since I wrote it for gcc & linux. However, trying to do a Windows port of my program (shameless plug) with only Visual C++ available to me right now is a *real* pain. It compiles, but certain perfectly acceptable C statements get somehow FUBARed, and the program turns out weird numbers. I'm not enough of a Windows programmer to understand what's wrong, sadly. Maybe cygwin...
So VC++ and it's merry band are probably standing outside the gates laughing at the "real" standards as they try to interoperate with the de facto standards. Grrr...
Python would sit in the corner and laugh at the other programming languages.
n/t
The Tao of Programming
Who plays whom?
LISP: Yoda.
C: Construction worker. Wearing plaid. With "F*** you" on the front of his shirt.
C++: Two-headed construction worker. Exists in five dimensions. At certain plane intersections, looks like C, at others like Java, and sometimes resembles nothing so much as a confused little boy holding TNT.
Perl: A mobius strip.
PHP: A two dimensional drawing of a human interleaved in slices with a three-dimensional rendered version of Perl.
Eiffel and other purely-functional languages: a perfectly-symmetrical, beautiful woman. She's not too fast, up in the head, but she's got a GORGEOUS pair of legs.
C#: A small, annoying entity grafted onto the leg of Bill Gates, a giant who carries a sledgehammer labelled "Visual Studio". It's a very pretty sledgehammer.
Jouster
there everywhere
...offers a delightfully playful answer to the the question, "[what] if programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound."
what exactly is the question it's supposed to answer? (note the question mark)
well, now i'm going to read the article.
criticize first, get facts later.
this is too damn funny. full mirror. courtesy, you friendly neighbourhood mirror-man.
Everyone: Who are you? Euphoria: I Have No Idea What's Going On.
Everything will be taken away from you.
There's nothing special about the well designed languages (or the poorly designed ones). They were all designed by people who had reasons for doing what they did. Why not just ask those people for their insights?
Oh shit! I forgot to click "Post Anonymously"...
I would rush my afflicted machine to the local church for prompt excorcism.
*PLC ID='ME',DUMP=R,SOURCE
.00 0 1 1 12 5 0 + .03 0 0 1 6 0 0
*
ISAY: PROCEDURE OPTIONS(MAIN); PL/C-R7.5-368 10/12/74 0:53 PAGE
STMT LEVEL NEST BLOCK MLVL SOURCE TEXT
1 ISAY: PROCEDURE OPTIONS(MAIN);
2 1 1 PUT SKIP EDIT('I STILL HAVE NO EQUAL.') (A);
3 1 1 END ISAY;
I STILL HAVE NO EQUAL.
IN STMT 3 PROGRAM RETURNS FROM MAIN PROCEDURE.
COMPILATION STATISTICS (0003 STATEMENTS) + EXECUTION STATISTICS
SECONDS ERRORS WARNINGS PAGES LINES CARDS INCL'S + SECONDS ERRORS WARNINGS PAGES LINES CARDS INCL'S AUX
BYTES SYMBOL TABLE INTERMEDIATE CODE OBJECT CODE + STATIC CORE AUTOMATIC CORE DYNAMIC CORE TOTAL STOR
USED 192( 1K) 86( 1K) 118( 1K) + 344( 1K) 206( 1K) 0( 0K) 958(
UNUSED 16608( 113K) 519522( 507K) 636728( 621K) + 636198( 621K) 636198( 621K) 519522( 507K) 636130( 62
THIS PROGRAM MAY BE RERUN WITHOUT CHANGE IN A REGION 621K BYTES SMALLER USING TABLESIZE= 48
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Zeroeth post!
Infuriate left and right
I feel your pain -- I'm taking a course using C++ and my code compiles and runs just peachy on gcc/linux but VC++ is giving me this one error that I cannot figure out. Of course, when I went back to try again the compile froze, I gave it the three-finger-salute and windows froze. Every so often I'm reminded why I switched in the first place.
What's happening? PHP thought.
... oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It's a sort of ... heavy, loaded sensation in my ... my ... well I suppose I'd better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call cyberspace, so let's call it my server.
... requests! Is that a good name? It'll do ... perhaps I can find a better name for them later when I've found out what they're for. They must be something very important because there certainly seem to be a hell of a lot of them. Hey! What's this thing? This ... let's call it a hard drive --- yeah, hard drive. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can't I? Wow! Wow! That grinding sounds great! Doesn't seem to achieve very much but I'll probably find out what it's for later on. Now --- have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?
...
... aub ... asbot ... sashbot ... slashdot! That's it! That's a good name --- slashdot!
Er, excuse me, who am I?
Hello?
Why am I here? What's my purpose in life?
What do I mean by who am I?
Calm down, get a grip now
Good. Ooooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what's about these whistling roaring bits going past what I'm suddenly going to call my script? Perhaps I can call those
No.
Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation
Or is it the requests?
There really are a lot of them now aren't there?
And wow! Hey! What's this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like
I wonder if it will be friends with me?
Last post!
youlove PostScript eq {honk} if
And yes, I wrote it in PostScript.
John
My code would say:
"Stop feeding this shit to the compiler. It already has to take a oversized stack dump."
I couldn't resist. This article is practically begging everyone to post their worst coding humor.
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
The server seems to be bending under the load already, beware the slashdot effect PHP, for it shall be the end of thee.
...and tromped that little XML into the dirt. Yes, into the very dirt at their feet. Basic tromped, and C++ tromped, and Java cleaned and tromped and cleaned again, and COBOL tried to throw a kick at XML's head but fell over on its cane. Even LISP pulled itself out of the pond to throw loopy hands around XML's throat, but only managed to choke its ownself.
*snip*
October 08, 2002
The Parable of the Languages
If programming languages could speak, really speak, not just crunch bytes and stream bits, they would have much to say that is both wise and profound.
After all, the original programmers were philosophers, and programming languages were philosopher tools...
(Photo intensive, and weird. Very.)
In Babble Meadow, in the twilight hours between day and night, when pesky noseeums float past on the breeze and birds rustle among leaves in preparation for bed, the programming languages would meet. And talk.
The talk would start as it always started, on issues profound and serious, focusing on the existential core that is center to all languages.
Do I exist or not? In this never-ending loop of life, when is the purpose? Where should I go, and what should I do when I get there? What comes after the end?
(It's not easy being a programming language, in forced contemplation of the existence of Self, day in and day out.)
However, after a time the languages would loosen up. There was something about Babble Meadow -- something that worked its way into their hearts and souls, loosened their threads, opened their parameters. The Meadow was magic, no doubt.
Today, though, the group was quiet, much quieter than usual, because one of their members, PHP, was not its usual cheerful self. In fact, one could say that PHP was in a true funk, if one had a mind to say something like that aloud, or within the hearing of one's boss. Or doctor.
Why the blues, PHP, the other languages asked. All the languages that is but C, because all C ever said was "bite me", being a rude language and hard to live with, but still respected because it was such a good worker.
And PHP answered:
All I ever do, day in and day out, is work and work and work. The only time I'm noticed is when I break, and then I'm cursed and kicked, and roundly blasted for being useless. However, when things go well, I never get a kind word.
There's no notice of my ease of use, my elegance, my simplicity. Only my failures.
And on that dark note, PHP fell into a contemplative silence, dark cloud heavy with aggrieved sorrow.
You think you have it bad, said C++. Try being me.
Without me entire industries would fail, banks would close, ships would sink, trains would crash. Why, I virtually run the world.
Yet the only time I'm noticed is when a memory leak is found or an exception occurs, and then I'm cursed, and sworn at, and ruthlessly debugged with nary a thought for my sensibilities.
Each of the languages nodded their heads, because they knew about C++ sensibilities, it being a most sensitive language. In fact, Perl was so moved by C++'s eloquence, it felt compelled to speak, though normally at these gatherings Perl would sit quietly in a corner, consuming pattern after luscious mouth watering pattern.
PHP, C++, I sympathize with you both. My own state is a sorry one at times.
I match and match and match and match, first cryptically and now objectively, but still I match and match and match. And match after flawless match is taken for granted though I'd like to see others match with such style and elegance as myself.
Why, you can't mention "regular expression" without my name coming up.
But do I get any credit? No.
O it's Larry Wall this, and Larry Wall that, and Larry Wall, he's our guy.
But it's grab the Perl interpreter when a task is close at hand.
As Perl finished, Python and Ruby looked at each and rolled their eyes. For all that talk of matching, you'd think that Perl could at least rhyme.
FORTRAN reached up a withered hand and patted Perl's shoulder.
There, there, Perl. There, there.
At the very least, though, you must remember that you have a place still in the world. As for myself, I am nothing more than a wisp, a ghost of my former strong and virile self.
There was never a scientific problem I couldn't handle, or complex equation I couldn't solve. At one time I was a master of my domain, the king of the processor.
Now, sadly, my glory days are over, and I'm doomed to live my twilight years as Legacy code.
As FORTRAN wheezed to a stop, COBOL was emphatically nodding its head, unable to speak, though, because of the oxygen tube up its nose (for which the other languages were secretly thankful because COBOL did tend to maunder a bit about its glory days).
At that the floodgates of complaints was loosed, and the noise increased and increased and increased, to the point that squirrels came out of their holes, and birds peered over the edges of their nests. Suddenly the quiet glen was quiet no more.
What about me, said Pascal. I'm only used for training. Training! What good is a language that's only used in school?
What about me, said SNOBOL. No one's even heard of me!
What about me, said C#. I look like Prince!
Bite me! said C.
LISP would have spoken, but it had caught a glimpse of itself in the pond and fell in when it tried to meet itself coming. And Java was too busy trying to clean a bag out of Babbling Creek.
The noise rose and rose, and the babble increased and increased until across the meadow, from the trees roared a Voice.
Enough!
I tire of your bickering, I weary of your complaints. I grow bored with your list of whims and whines and 'poor mes'.
I thought this was going to be a party! If I knew it was going to nothing more than a bitching session, I would have stayed home.
The languages stopped their talking at once. Who was it that called out? They counted heads and arranged themselves alphabetically (C++ having to position Basic, because it never did learn the alphabet), and counted heads again and came up with the same answer from the North, South, East, and West -- all the programming languages were accounted for.
As they puzzled and wondered, the bushes at the end parted and XML walked into the light.
XML! Exclaimed C++. What are you doing here? You're not a programming language.
Tell that to the people who use me, said XML.
I'm considered the savior, the ultimate solution, the final word. Odes are written to me, flowers strewn at my feet, virgins sacrificed at my altar.
Programmers speak my name with awe. Companies insist on using me in all their projects, though they're not sure why.
And whenever a problem occurs, someone somewhere says, "Let's use XML", and miracles occur and my very name has become a talisman against evil.
And yet, all I am is a simple little markup, from humble origins. It's a burden, being XML.
At that XML sighed, and the other languages, moved by its plight gathered around...
And each language could be heard to mumble as it tromped and tromped and tromped, with complete and utter glee:
Have to parse XML, eh? Have to have an XML API, eh? Have to work with SOAP and XML-RPC and RSS and RDF, eh?
Well parse this, you little markup asshole.
The End.
Posted by Bb at October 08, 2002 08:22 PM
Nobody expects the Pythonists!
Buy a Nintendo DS Lite
mod this post up to atleast a 42
Eniac: "Back in my day all we had was ones and zeroes. And on bad days we didn't even have the ones."
Please, don't submit people's weblogs to article queue. Oh, sorry wrong site.
Democracy Now! - your daily, uncensored, corporate-free
Brilliant! You just needed to say that the other server, running CGI, thinking, "oh no, not again".
"Don't mind me cutting myself on Occam's Razor"
Is a very good public speaker, but you should resist the urge to put him in a play. He will take the director literally and "break a leg" the day of the show.
[/rimshot]
Who did what now?
they would probably just make smalltalk.
example.org - powered by Linux!
Hi!
rehab, captain ahab, you're chasing the wrong fish!
Firstly, I like Postgres, but if you were using it four years ago then you were suffering some bugs and limitations that were only fixed in the last year. I don't know how anyone could find the previous performance acceptable. It kinda makes me wonder about your opinion :(
Meanwhile at another party:: ABC & ABCL/1 is helping BASIC out with it's letters, APL keeps asking "remember me?", ALGOL complaining that the kids never call or write, SMALLTALK shrank down to a SQUEAK, the ever lovely ADA dressed up and nowere to go,SIMULA is just faking it, ADL is casting a little SORCERER over the audience, the king of geritol BCPL is passed out as a CANDLE sputters overhead, incomprehensible INTERCAL is mumbling while BNF is just YACCing away, the man of many directions ORTHOGONAL is dancing with the farseeing PRECCX. Freezing in the back of the car is SNOBOL4, BLISS whom everyone thinks is WACCO gets hushed while IGNORANCE keeps saying "I don't know" FOCAL is being the proverbial BURS in everyone's saddle by being OX-headed about NewYACC being better than plain BYACC while know-it-all CLIPS says his brother NewsClip disagrees. LEX is PLANning to crash the party and is making PROGRES towards his goal even with ALF getting in his way.
I think that might be the lamest thing I have ever read.
It's late on a friday night -- so nothing witty here;
... ...
but seriously though -- what do you think verilog / VHDL will say?
and then we have the lego-mindstorm language (whatever it's called)
and then of course we have the ever-pleasure-to-work-with:
* Malbolge
* INTERCAL
* brainf**k
My life in the land of the rising sun.
>The only time I'm noticed is when I break, and then I'm cursed and kicked, and roundly blasted for being useless. However, when things go well, I never get a kind word.
That reminds me a lot of doing theater tech, you know, lights, sound, and the other stuff you normally don't think about when you see a show...unless something goes wrong. There really is no glory or glamour in it and you really need to rely on self glorification to make it worth while. It's knowing that the show would not even be possible if it weren't for crew like yourself that makes it so satisfying. And knowing that that actor down there might be the one in the spot light, but you're the guy behind the spot that can also switch it off at the flick of a thumb. If that's not power, I don't know what is.
Incidentally, I also do a lot of PHP programming (see sig). Never thought we had so much in common, PHP and I...
---
Open Source Shirts
whether it's for better or worse (i'm not here to debate vc++ vs. gcc or windows vs. linux), it's sad to see new programmers give up on porting their code when it doesn't compile on the first, second.. or fifth try.
:-P)
granted, it's frustrating getting to know the nuances of different operating systems, and what "standard" libraries are supported in different environments, but the fact that they exist is not necessarily a bad thing IMHO.
i'm not denying there are things in vc++ that should be changed (or "fixed"), but some things are different for a very good reason. it may be that something you're doing is antiquated or maybe there exists a different way to do it that offers more advantages than the "tride and true" methods.
to turn your back on finding these differences only limits your opportunity to become a better programmer and know how to code in different environments, not to mention the exposure of your program (if that's important to you).
so, why not figure out the real cause of the incompatibilities and THEN make a decision on whether it's a Bad Thing or if it was just a minor nuance of the environment?
I doubt veteran linux programmers who were masters of ncurses turned their noses up to gtk or qt completely (maybe a thin analogy, OK, but you get the point
"I have no special gift, I am only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein
God created pointers to train the faithful. One cannot go against the word of God.
Razzia! Razzia! Let slip the Jihad of Lin'nus, that we might purge the unbelieving filth known as Java programmers from this universe!
Forgot where I am.
Disclaimer: The above is a parody of Frank Herbert's Dune. In no way is it related to September 11th, 2001 or AK-47 toting madmen. It is meant in jest, and should not be construed as a challenge of mortal danger to Java coders or Bene Gesserit witches.
..XML is dying! You don't need to be an EMT..
Aww, nuts.
Funniest damned post I've read yet.
Don't be a stingy bitch. Mod it up, Up, UP!
If all C ever says is "bite", imagine what Brainfuck would say. Where's my swear jar?
If Mr. Edison had thought smarter he wouldn't sweat as much. --Nikola Tesla
but you can turn Jaguar into a talking cat.
I apologize for the awful pun...
"However," replied the universe, "The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation."
I rushed to make a witty comment about qbasic (if C, C# and C++ are all in it, Basic and qbasic can be, too.), but decided to check the 50+ posting first, lest I was rendered redundant.
Sadly, no one has stood up and defended the honor of the programming language that warped my mind so much that I can't seem to learn anything else....
Anyway, Qbasic would probably just complain about how useful it was for making programs for simple tasks in under five seconds until XP made all of these programs run unbearably slowly....
Cogito ergo sum in Slashdot.
Okay, where's Objective-C?
Or come to that his weird brother Objective-C++?
[objC retain];
I am reminded of the movie short circuit, in which a wise man once said, "Computers don't think, they just run programs."
Searched a few, made up a few
:- Prolog(x) , honking(car);
.h -text honk ; pack .h}
Smalltalk love ifTrue: [ car honk ]
love(x)
SELECT honk FROM TABLE you WHERE love = SQL;
(and (love you lisp) (honk))
$Love{PERL} = "You" if ($Honk);
if {[HEART $env(USER)] == {tcl}} {button
And finally the impossible to understand, C++ runtime template version:
template
class You
{
static bool honking = false;
};
template
class You
{
static bool honking = true;
};
Rocky J. Squirrel
If they could speak it could be proof that it really is a language and make code everywhere unpatentable.
C: hey, i like them (mostly) all men, and knowing me inside out, else they can flirt with me. And being meticulous and fanatics. We like to play dirty.
:(
C++: wack, I am like you C!!! But i'm sad, because they treat me as if i was an object.
Java: dude, that's not the worst. They not oly treat me just like an object, they expect me to suck their nuts in any room, anytime
PHP: Ah, well, love is tough. I am easy to get along with. I have a wider audience. They love me, as I don't press them hard. That's your problem, guys. Anyway, most of my lovers expect me to serve them, so they are not much better. But I have tons of them!
C++: Good tip PHP...You are not as pretty as we are, but you fullfill their needs. But you can only do it at the porche. We can do it in the entire house, in rooms, in cars! Ok, JAVA can do it ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, but we can also do that if they give a love and care.
PHP: well...true. The thin...
XML: HEY. Assholes, I like all your bitches, they belong to me now. I will let you all live as long as you don't piss me off. OK (gun pointed at them)...
(well, these discussion could take months... so i leave other languages comments for yourself...but a note: PERL would be just plain "censored" if allowed to speak here).
unfinished: (adj.)
... would say, "Stop that, it's silly."
I've got a fever and the only prescription is more COBOL.
Sorry, no profound text here. If you want profound text, start modding my posts up, and I'll suddenly be wiser.
Correct Horse Battery Staple: 72 bits of entropy. Enter "Correct H" into google. When it generates the phrase, that's
IMHO, any program that does this: /* Otherwise, pick a move at random. */
while(aiBoard[Test = (rand_btw(1, BOARD_MAX))] == 0)
*deserves* to see differences in behavior.
It's quite possible you've hit a bug in VC++, but not that likely. Recent versions have been pretty good on standards compliance in both the compiler and the library, and IME it's as likely that you're using some non-standard extension in gcc than that VC++ is at fault. Have you tried posting your code on a C++ newsgroup and asking if it's all portable? What was the error message?
If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
I thought I was odd for reaching at QuickBASIC every time I quickly needed to parse a list. (No, I don't have Perl or the like installed on this Win machine.)
Note to M1-ers: a curt but otherwise insightful message is not "Flamebait" or "Troll".
There is a glaring omission of the ONE language that ALL programmers know: profanity! ;^)
Really, have you read the article? Can you read?
Youmight want to try djgpp, a dos port of gcc and friends. Available at www.delorie.com
The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.
I they would sing: http://99-bottles-of-beer.ls-la.net/
C "Go ahead, use the 'goto', I dare you."
C++ "Just make it a global variable, don't you want to go outside"
Java "Let me do that for you"
Perl "I need a buck, you got any money man?"
PHP "Stop calling me that!"
Python "I'm not different, I'm right. If you don't understand what I'm saying, it is because you are stupid"
VB "Burp..."
asm "Screw the next guy, you understand me, don't you?"
You're lack of grammar frightens me.
thank you jeezus.
So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like...
Goatse.cx!
Eiffel and other purely-functional languages Eiffel isn't a purely functional language. It's OO w/ design by contract. Why more people don't use it, I'd love to know.
Can we make a computer take any propositional phrase and evaluate wether it is true or false... Not just some instances, but a computer program that can evaluate a hypothesis of any kind and then prove it.
We could all benefit from my education.
Hmm, okay, I may have been mistaken. Thanks for the correction!
I was actually thinking of Haskell last night, but forgot the name.
Jouster
(=<`$9]7<5YXz7wT.3,+O/o'K%$H"'~D|#z@b=`{^Lx8%$Xmrk pohm-kNi;gsedcba`_^]\[ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA@? >=<;:9876543s+O<oLm
1. Borrow heavily from C++ and Pascal
2. Claim "write once, run anywhere"
3. ????
4. Profit!!!
Downmodding is the refuge of the weak. Don't downmod, make a better argument!
C: supersonic M-1 tank
C++: World War II battleship
Java: Batman weapons
M L : Alien Weapon
Assembly: trench warfare
Lisp (scheme): catapult launched lisp programmers
perl: sawed-off shotgun with bayonet
Fortran: Morning Star
Pascal: play school "my first M-16"
Basic: capgun
visual languages : Nintendo games
Postscript: drowning in paper
COBOL: cursed dagger -2
ObjectiveC: alien tank
csh: pipe bomb
Prolog: dumbest of smart bombs
Python: It's just a pile of tinker toys, whoever said it made a good weapon? But gosh darn it, it's modular and clean.
perl: Pathologically Eclectic Rocket Launcher
Ada: Garaunteed Military Grade Weaponry, Sir!
Start Running Better Polls
Uhhh, how much closer can a human come to machine language than assembler?
You can't physically plug hex into a file, hoping to make it run.
we don't have punchcards anymore:)
TOGGLE SWITCHES!
Who says I can't physically plug hex into a file Jeeze.
Is the "first post" thing imagining Assembler and Machine as Tweedledum and Tweedledee?
Rocky J. Squirrel
Except more l33t people wouldn't get past line 1 without reading a book to figure out how to invoke a shell script properly.
(read subject line)
-- This space for lease, low setup fee, inquire within!
If pigs could fly... If Microsoft Works... Okay, now I know this'll never happen.
I made some nice things with LISP, but more than a time I lost my parentheses with the patience...
huh... I mean...
I lost my patience with the parentheses... 8-)
Lisias@Earth.SolarSystem.OrionArm.MilkyWay.Local.Virgo.Universe.org
"Hello, this is Dr. Kevorkian speaking."
COBOL: "Dr. Kevorkian, you have to help me! Please....."
I'm not dead yet!
What is your name?
What is your quest?
Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!
Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request."
I tried the root directory, and it said "You don't have permission to access /index.html on this server."
<sarcasm>Great site.</sarcasm>
Not quite, VC++ 6 has piss-poor template support, a 256-byte symbol limit, and numerous other standards compliance defects (even in comparison to SUNWSpro and GCC).
- Lisp - catapult launching catapults, each launching catpults...
- Scheme - nice b/w picture of the catapult inspiring other artists to create similar pictures.
And some missed ones:Less is more !
No worse overall than any other mainstream compiler of its time, really, though.
That relates to debugging, not compiling, IIRC, and the irritating warning is readily suppressed.
Almost all of which are either (a) eliminated if you ask it to with a compiler switch, or (b) again, no worse than any other compiler of its generation (lack of export, etc.). The major objection to solution (a) was that it broke the libraries shipped with VC++, which is a fair point, but if it mattered, you could always download an alternative set (for free, even) that did compile under stricter compliance rules.
If you have a relatively new C++ programmer having trouble porting code from GCC to VC++, I'd still guess that it's at least as likely that the person concered is using some non-standard extensions in GCC as that VC++ actually doesn't support what they've written.
If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
Go download the free Borland C++ Builder command line tools... they're a more up to date C++ implementation than Visual C++ 6.0 and they work very well and are easy to install (VERY EASY - read docs on site).
http://www.borland.com/products/downloads/downlo ad_cbuilder.html
Programming languages already speak... they say things in my head all the time... "yes, add an obscene comment there... delete that mysterious function call... yes, we are your friends..."
EOFIt always amazes me (42) how deeply Douglas Adams seems to have influenced (42) the programming community on a subconscious level. (42)
42.
See?
Took a few seconds to get it compiled and running with VC++, need an include for windows.h to get the sleep function (which is Sleep in windows so I added a #define with that include). The other problem is you define daemon_mode in an ifdef and use it outside of one which ofcourse bombs out. I removed that ifdef and added a struct for option and pow, it runs.
I have the physical game, this should be fun to play with on my plane ride today.
Surely that should be a GOTO ?
VAX killer, way back in early VMS versions (some scheduler problem IIRC):
5 goto 5
end
That's also why you're not allowed a semicolon immediately before the word "else" in an if statement.
There's no 'a' in "excellent", asshole. There's only one 'a' in "fedora", asshole. "Fedora" is not a proper noun, asshole. "English" IS a proper noun, asshole. "Who's" is a contraction of "who is", asshole. The possessive is "whose", asshole. "Is" is present tense, asshole. "Was" is past, asshole. "Close" is not a proper noun, asshole. "Parenthesis" is not a proper noun, asshole. "Everyone" is not a proper noun, asshole.
In short, YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON.
It turns out the poor original poster just doesn't know what the hell he's doing, that's all. VC++ diverges from the C++ standard in different ways than GCC (and somewhat more of them, IIRC, but you'd have to do a big suite of tests to nail that one down reliably) -- but that's C++. ANSI C is a different animal. "Perfectly acceptable ANSI C statements get FUBAR'd", he says? Bullshit. I've used both compilers for years, and he's talking absolute shit.
The infamous if-scoping bug in VC++ is irrelevant because that's an illegal construction in C, period. VC++ has some weird notions about C++ templates, but, again, those don't exist in C (and I've had my share of sorrow porting template code from VC to GCC, too). The differences are in non-ANSI RTL functions, different header files, and so on. But of course, that's true of all C compilers. Look through some GNU code. Read through config.h and grep for #ifdef/#ifndef/#if in the source (or grep any highly portable C source for #ifdef/#ifndef/#if). Anything nontrivial's going to require a lot of glob to make it compile with different compilers, and it doesn't make a damn bit of difference which two (or more) compilers you're talking about. But that's another issue. Damn few compilers blow off anything much in the ANSI standard. C compilers are very mature these days.
The problem, of course, is that what's in the ANSI standard isn't sufficient to do anything non-trivial...
Please do trash Microsoft when they deserve it; after all, they usually do. But don't trash Microsoft on idiotic grounds just because you're an ignorant dumbass. You'll embarrass yourself, and you'll further amplify the Free Software "community"'s reputation for being a bunch of ignorant and highly-excitable dumbasses.
Jabbering about spoons doesn't make you clever. It makes you an acne-scarred shut-in who watched The Matrix fifteen times while all the normal kids were out getting laid.
Some ANSI C code of mine (this is simple stuff -- i've only been working with C on-and-off for a year or so -- I'm a Visual Basic refugee) compiles perfectly with gcc, which isn't surprising since I wrote it for gcc & linux. However, trying to do a Windows port of my program (shameless plug) [sourceforge.net] with only Visual C++ available to me right now is a *real* pain. It compiles, but certain perfectly acceptable C statements get somehow FUBARed, and the program turns out weird numbers. I'm not enough of a Windows programmer to understand what's wrong, sadly. Maybe cygwin...
Welcome to C, where undefined behavior can cause your program to work properly at times and completely screw up at other times. Here are a few problems that I found after about 2 minutes of examination:
main.c, line 97:
The arrays aiBoard/humanBoard have BOARD_MAX elements when the rest of the code expects them to have BOARD_MAX + 1 elements. Undefined behavior because the last valid element is at index BOARD_MAX - 1, but the code writes/reads from index BOARD_MAX.
main.c, lines 147, 155:
Using scanf("%s"...) to read a single character. Undefined behavior, even if the user enters only one character, because scanf will attempt to null-terminate the "string" and write to memory beyond the character passed.
main.c, line 164:
user could overflow human_name by entering a name that is longer than 99 characters (nitpick comment).
Don't blame Visual C++. The code has some serious flaws, and just happens to behave as expected in gcc under linux.
"Ouch, what are you doing? That's not how you do that, learn to program dumbass."
Posted by: Pike on October 11, 2002 10:48 PM
Your story has been posted on slashdot. Just a warning.
ac