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Funny Things You've Seen on Resumes?
noackjr asks: "Everyone wants a great job, but writing a quality resume requires creativity and a fair bit of work (we won't go into actually having the proper skills, qualifications, or experiences -- let's not cloud the issue). Alternatively, sprucing up your resume with a few choice pieces of quasi-truth might set you apart from other 'qualified' candidates (the HR person will never figure it out, right?). A friend from college included knowledge of 'C, C+, and C++' on his resume. He had worked in C and C++ and just figured there had to be a C+ as well (too bad he didn't list C+-). He ended up getting a $50,000+/yr job with a major US tech firm using that resume. Anyone else come across funny/pathetic attempts to improve a resume?"
First Post on slashdot.org
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Saw a resume once with a lot of bogus stuff on it. Not only had the guy listed degrees from schools he never attended, he misspelled the names of the schools. Didn't stop him from getting hired at the height of the dotcom bubble.
I grow weary of seeing lots of young 20-something applicants fresh out of school who claim they have excellent coding skills and then proceed to list about ten different languages including HTML. First, HTML is not a programming language. Secondly, it takes years to learn how to program WELL in a complex language like C++. You may know the basic syntax for ten different languages, but that doesn't mean you're an expert programmer in all. And I'd argue that if you think listing tons of languages makes you look impressive, I would argue you're not much of a programmer at all (unless you've been working for decades).
Another applicant wrote in his cover letter than his goal was to get a Nobel prize. We are a defense contractor. They don't give out Nobel prizes for "Most Novel New Method to Kill People". Besides, this guy had a GPA of less than 3.5. Better get cracking if you want that Nobel prize, pal.
GMD
watch this
We all know that the HR people put the impossible into their resumes (5 years of Java back in '96, anyone)?
And we also all know that HR does keyword searches on resumes, throwing out any that don't have the keyword.
So why would't turnabout be fair play?
5 Years experience administrating Windows 2000 server.
_______
2B1ASK1
Not exactly a resume, but during our evaluations every year we have to fill out a form, which amoung other things asks us to list our goals for the year. In an attempt to see if my manager actually reads these things, I listed one of my goals as "world domination". Needless to say this went unnoticed for three years. When he finally did recognize it and questioned me on it, I replied that I didn't like to set my goals too low.
Fish do not make good desert travel companions.
I once ran off a batch of resumes on an ASR-33 Teletype -- no lowercase, crappy canary-yellow roll-feed newsprint paper, etc.
One of those resumes got me a decent job...
This is the bizarrest thing I have heard of - mind you, I have also seen software misspelt (as 'Soft Ware' and 'SoftWare')
Anyone else come across funny/pathetic attempts to improve a resume?
Yeah, I once saw a guy post to slashdot about it.
I once worked with a guy who was still in technical college who had listed as a skill on his resume: "Capible of runing thousands of feet of network cable".
I always found it funny for some reason.
blah blah blah....
drightler@technicalogic.com
Here's one to watch for: watch for television advertisements where a product is pictured as reflected in a mirror, but the product name isn't mirror imaged. The eye will be drawn to the product name instinctively as the mind is saying "shouldn't that be backwards?"
Some people consider a Resume to be a sales tool; an advertisement for themselves; and in keeping with our long-standing tradition of skirting the truth when advertising, consider it more important to get noticed than to be truthful.
After all, the truthful ones who don't get noticed stand less of a chance at getting the job (or making the sale) than the untruthful ones which make it to the interview.
The thing about things we don't know is we often don't know we don't know them.
> ...knowledge of 'C, C+, and C++' on his resume.
> He had worked in C and C++ and just figured
> there had to be a C+...
He obviously had not worked with either long enough to understand the humor in the name of "C++".
assert(birth_date<time-86400)
That one's good for hours of laughs! ;>
A friend of mine applied for an IT job with "DoubleplusC" as a programming language. Needless to say, after explaining the humour to the interviewers he got the job. (Soulless bastards they turned out to be)
Condemnant quod non intellegunt.
Once, when I was being interviewed simultaneously by one technical person, and one non-technical person, the non-technical person, reading my resume and finding acronyms and other technical jargon he was unfamiliar with, asked me:
"So, tell me, did you implement LRF 1.0 in project xyz?"
I replied that I had not. I told him I was not familiar with LRF, and asked what it was.
"Little Rubber Feet. It's a bulls**t filter."
assert(birth_date<time-86400)
Usually in the extra skills/info section I like to add a little blurb about how I like to play around with writing Operating Systems. It's one of the few things in todays world that instantly lets people know that I'm really a computer geek and not just a normal person working in IT. It was probably what got me the interview for my current job.
My Hello World is 512 bytes. But it's also a valid Fat12 boot sector, Fat12 file reader, and Pmode routine.
handing in my TPS Reports on time.
First funny one: we had a guy list as an accomplishment on his resume (for a DSP software engineer) his marriage to his wife.
Second funny one: A friend of mine was part of the team interviewing folks where he works. During one inDUHvidual's interview, my friend closed his notebook and put down his pen 5 minutes into the interview. The higher muckitymucks noticed this, and after the interview said to him "OK, you noticed something we didn't - what was it?"
The inDUHvidual kept talking about how she had worked at "bom-BUH-deer" aerospace here in town. Yes, she was really a good worker at "bom-BUH-deer".
Bombardier is a Canadian company, and is pronounced according to French rules - "bom-BAR-dee-AY". And they are VERY clear about that to their employees.
www.eFax.com are spammers
I just recently interviewed someone based on a impeccable resume. The job basically boiled down to some javascript programming, and he'd been programming javascript for several years. He even knew the industry application we were using in our environment.
However, about 30 seconds into the interview (right after "Didja have any trouble finding us?") i figured out that he was either an outright liar, or suffered some sort of blunt-head trauma on the way to meet me. Not only didn't he have any idea about anything technical, turns out he wasn't managing the staff of 300 back at his old job, but rather cleaned the place after everyone else went home.
There are 01 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and me.
Well, I supposed putting a little humour in your resume would just be another advertising tactic. Like putting something that almost shouldn't be there, making your ads funny is a great way to get attention. I love it when ads come up with something funny*. I suppose that reading large amounts of resumes would be a boring job, and maybe those who are reading will remember the ones that bring a little sunshine into their day.
*My favourite being an NRMA (insurance agency) ad where the four horsemen of the apocalypse come up to an insurance saleswoman and complain about how all their good work was just wasted by people 'being too fair in the insurance business'.
"Significant experience with Internet navigation."
That one went up on the company intranet's quote board!
In my field, the canonical example is the degree from Princeton Law School. A Google search turns up several references that are not obviously jokes or fictional -- like this or this (though those are not resumes).
I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm, LLP does not necessarily endorse the contents of this message.
In a resume writting class, which are great by the way, a girl was upset about using DOS.
She wanted to use Disk Operating System in case the interviewer didn't know what DOS stood for.
She was adament about expanding all acronyms. TCP/IP, Perl etc
What if they don't know?
What if they think it is something else?
What if they think she doesn't know what it means?
The instructor assured her that DOS is good to have experience with but will not be a deal breaker when getting a job.
I wanted to ask her why she thought she could get a job.
I was actually in the circus at one time, though it never applied to the jobs I was interviewing for. (Not directly anyway.)
I'm not sure how much it helped in getting my resume noticed, but it was great for interview small-talk. "Were you really in the circus?" was my most common interview question.
I'm looking for a HEPA media filter for my TV. I'm alergic to reality shows.
My favorite piece on a resume was an application I got for a junior developer position. We're talking ground-level work for a very small firm...
:-)
This fellow was over here from China on a Visa, and getting a job was obviously key to his continued stay here. He had a decent amount of background in web programming, resume looked good. I finally got to his job history from China itself, and his formal schooling.
He listed 'Resident Neurosurgeon' as his last job title before coming to America.
Me: "Umm... is this correct? You worked as a neurosurgeon?"
Him: "Oh, yes."
Me: "But... you weren't operating on people, surely? You were training to be a doctor?"
Him: "Oh no, I operated on patients for two years there. I worked on people's brains."
I resisted the urge to make a joke about who did he think he was, some sort of brain surgeon? I later on got a similar opportunity when I hired a Chinese girl who had a PhD in (you guessed it) rocket science.
(No, I didn't hire the brain surgeon. We found a candidate with more experience and less likeliness to jump ship from us if a job opened up in his true area of expertise)
It's a strange world -- let's keep it that way
Let's see how pissed off we can get this guy by raising him to +5!!
It is becoming more and more common in science to see resumes that list the honors one has been offerred, but for some reason the recipient denied them.
An example of this is in post-doctoral fellowships, which are generally quite prestigious. A person may only accept one at a time (it isn't considered fair to recieve double income for the same work, and it helps to spread the wealth), so one lists the fellowship accepted, and all the others that one turned down. I've come across several resumes that read:
"Hubble Fellow, 2001"
"Chandra Fellowship, 2001, denied"
"Jansky Fellowship, 2001, denied"
etc.
You'd think that just being a Hubble Fellow would be enough to convince people that you're a top-level scientist. We're just one step away from:
"Would have recieved Hubble Fellowship, 2001, had I not been too lazy to write a good essay."
or
"Deserved Chandra Fellowship, 2001, but some jerk on the committee thought otherwise!"
On another note, I've also seen people list "invited talks", in which they had invited themselves, or were obligated to give the talk as part of a class.
chauffeur, seamstress, and curator of large mammals.
... twice!
..Sshhh
Worked for the Carter Administration!?
Well, you voted for him
From Marge Gets a Job
I thought this but checked before I posted and can't find any mention of it in C++ histories or histories of programming languages.
You may be right of course....
Or I could just put up a fake history for you to link to.
Sam
blog.sam.liddicott.com
I think you're bullshitting.
As far as I recall the story, C++ was named because of the ++ (postfix?) operator in C. So, C++ is C + 1.
This space intentionally left blank.
The mods are getting a wee bit too confy with that redundant modifier these days. I'll see you in meta mod land!
You're right, I wouldn't steal a car. But if it were possible, I sure as hell would download one!
The funny thing about that, is that it possibly did help him get the job. In a big corporation like Motorola, the resumes are scanned and then HR searches for keywords. Your friend managed to get in one extra hit for "C" in the programming section, and quite possibly came out on top of the search.
...
Strangely, this was not on the printed resume he submitted, but was on his online resume, to which his printed resume referred.
I had an argument...with the person here at the university that teaches OS design. I wonder when I'll learn --Linus
No, but it's a meta-language, and they usually don't include a space to include the meta-languages you are proficient in.
I'm talking about resumes so there are no "spaces" to fill out.
It's easier (arguably safer) to just throw "HTML" in with C, C++, etc, and take a chance on having a nit-picker down you for it...
I'd be really wary of hiring a program who displays this kind of "what I wrote wasn't exact but you know what I mean" attitude. IMHO the best programs ARE nit-pickers. I'd be much more impressed by someone who listed "programming languages" and then "markup languages" as seperate entites. And if you have to fill out a form doesn't make a distinction, then you should call it out in your resume.
Anyhow, the point I think you are making is well taken. Applicants don't know whether their resume is going to be read my an HR drone or a "nit-picker" like myself. What I really object to is some little snot-nosed kid trying to snow me with buzzwords. If I get the sense that the applicant is trying to do that, I'll just throw his resume away. Why should I hire someone who I'm not sure I believe?
GMD
watch this
Then there was the guy who listed an expert network programmer, with skills in Ethernet, TCP/IP etc.
My first classic question is "How does Ethernet work ?"
I drew a blank stare, with a "I don't know" - Time to end this interview and quit wasting my time... Oh well
I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
I think you're bullshitting.
As far as I recall the story, C++ was named because of the ++ (postfix?) operator in C. So, C++ is C + 1
Yup. Check out Bjarne Stroustrup's FAQ page Why is the language called C++
Ok, then I have expreience in ++C, C+1, C++ and ++C++--, as well.
Code poet, espresso fiend, starter upper.
job posts are sometimes funnier. I recently read a "C# developper wanted, with minimum 4 years experience" offer :)
____
nico
Nico-Live
Ok, so I was wrong about C++ being derived from C+. But I was careful not to explicitly say it was, as I wasn't sure anyway... ;)
I have been unable to find any hard evidence of C+, except for a brief mention in wikipedia:
History of the Name "C++"
This name is credited to Rick Mascitti (mid-1983) and was first used in December 1983. Earlier, during the research period, the developing language had been referred to as "C with Classes". The final name stems from C's "++" operator (which increments the value of a variable) and a common naming convention of using "+" to indicate an enhanced computer program, for example: "Wikipedia+". According to Stroustrup: "the name signifies the evolutionary nature of the changes from C". C+ had earlier named an unrelated program. While most C code consists of valid C++, C does not form a subset of C++.
If I was worried about Karma, I'd eat tofu.
Usually I don't respond to obvious trolls like this but people are modding him up for some reason.
You are doing a disservice your orginization by automatically writing off all 20-somethings as lacking excelent coding skills. Just because you were out playing football and drinking beer in your late teens and weren't working on commercial software products to pay your way through college doesn't mean all 20-somethings don't have years of experience and the ability to write and even design highly complex projects with high quality levels.
This AC accuses me of writing off a group of individuals I don't know and then write me off in the same manner (playing football and drinking beer). Mods, what is Insightful about this?
And I didn't have to pay my way through college because I got an all-expenses paid fellowship as an undergrad and had my doctoral research fully funded by a national lab.
In fact, some of the best software engineers I know are in their mid 20s, and some of the worst I know are over 30.
Ah, but how many of those great 20-something software engineers got worse with experience? Probably not too many.
Interview the candidates and judge them on their skills instead of basing your hiring decision on your age prejudices.
I simply do not have the time to get everyone who submits a resume an interview. Resumes are used as a bulk filter. If something doesn't seem right to me, I'll just throw the resume away. Yes, that might mean that we miss out on super-geniuses like you but I think it's a reasonable policy when dealing with large numbers.
GMD
watch this
I had a friend that put "Plays video games" on his resume. LOL. And that is how he ended up getting laid off... Playing video games at work.
There is at least a C+@.
MCSE.
Rus
Cheap UK and US VPS
Funniest thing I remember was a candidate who claimed "excellent troubleshouting abilities". They weren't hired.
I am *NOT* making this up.
A few years back we were hiring for Java development. One of the lead programmers had a military background so naturally a resume of anohter fellow with a similar military background rose to the top of the pile. After a phone interview by somebody here, the candidate was scheduled for a full day of interviews on site (He was located several states away).
The big day came and he shows up 3 hours late, dressed like a car mechanic - grease and all. His excuse? "I don't trust airplanes so I had to take the train" (Keep in mind that there are no commuter rails anywhere near our part of the state). Umm okay, well lets get started. One of the first questions I had was about a descrepency on his resume. It stated that he had recieved a BS from Yale, but those same years it also listed him as being active in the military. (served in the Navy off the coast of Libya)
"Right, well I was wounded in action and took correspondence courses while in the hospital" was his response. I think I was more surprised to hear that he was wounded in action in Libya than the correspondence courses supposedly offered by Yale!
Anyway, the interview quickly went down hill after the started throwing buzzwords haphazardly around the room. And then came the kicker... during a lull in the conversation, between discussions of his C++ past, he leaned forward and said "You know what? I really can't stand n*ggers. They cause all the problems"
WTF?? Who says things like that, let alone during an interview! I was so shellshocked that the only thing I could manage to say was "Well... okay..." as I slipped out of the room. The worst part was we still had him scheduled for the rest of the day (another 4 hours)
(and I'm posting anonymously because he might be reading slashdot. the dude was a Freak!)
Oh, and he didn't get the job.
Had a guy come in with his resume. He had one. It was worn like tissue that's been in your pocket for a few months. He had taken an Exacto knife and cut out mistakes and changes and he had pasted on little pieces of changes here and there. It was so funny that we passed the guy around to various people to interview just so they could see this limp paper with holes. It looked like a joke from a WWII comedy - "after the censors".
No. He didn't get the job but I still remember him a decade later.
its relly bad to get splling mistke's 'n bad gramer in resmes. Youd think someon wood teach this in skool. Adding apostrofe's everywhere is relly anoying tooo.
I collect bad resumes. hehe..
...
Keep in mind. I work in retail. Retail electronics sales. Thank God we do all of our application processing over the Internet now, and no longer accept resumes, except when pasted into the Internet Job Application Form. But now I don't get the utter hilariousness of people seriously thinking they are going to get hired with things like the following (remember. Retail. Electronics.):
"Objective: Seeking a job in Food Services.
Major: Novell Networking"
(ok, majored in college in novell networking? and seeking a "fries with that" job? and applying in an electronics store???)
"Objective: To be an asset to an organization who needs I can fulfill and obtain a position or responsiblity in the sales feeld." (this is exactly how it was typed)
"I have very good communication skills, multitask oriented, self motivated can get along with various people, I do what im supposed to do when it be done and i'm experienced with dealing with people. I'm willing to travel."
"Education: I received a diploma from holy Redeemer in which I studied college prep classes on June 4, 2000." (this person didn't go to school very much?)
"In January 2001 I attended Henry Ford Community college where I studied basic English"
"responsibilities included help elders with personal care keep them company do thnig around there homes if needed. I did not quit or get fired."
"In January I will be starting school at NIT and taking computer classes to help me until I go to school for my real Major."
"Education: Fordson High School. [Enter your major here] GPA: 3.0 [Enter additional school information including honors, campus involvement and other activities here]" (oops, gotta check those default fields!)
"Responsiblties: Install new, used, and repair tires." (huh?)
"Objective: To obtain full time employment as a Prep Cook or in a Hotel Banquet Facility where my abilities will be utilized and where there is room for growth and opportunity." (I figure this guy could make us lunch every day.. hmm.. think: retail. sales. We don't need a cook.)
"Reason for leaving last employer: School stared back!" (I think she meant school started back.. but that still doesn't make sense in any brand of English that I know.. although I know what she meant.. I'd like to see a school that stares back, though. Maybe a good Stephen King novel.)
"Reason for leaving last employer: Hair cut." (????)
"Previous employer: Financial Administrator for the Yemen National Government." (ok, what the hell are you doing applying for a Retail Sales job?)
I've got a hell of a lot more, but these are the ones easily accessible from where I'm sitting right now. Enjoy!
"Champagne for my real friends - and real pain for my sham friends!" http://ericblade.postalboard.com/
From a source of unknown and possibly questionable repute:
However, C was (and is) still highly useful and well worth keeping around, so a sort of extended C language was developed. This language was essentially "C and then some", or C-plus (C+). As the concepts of object-oriented programming continued to develop, C+ had to be upgraded, and became C++.
So I'm not the only one who was mistaken.
But with a little more research we find out Ch is C+. Not what I was thinking of, but interesting in its own way.
There is also a Small C+ sublanguage for developing on the Z88 portable computer. I haven't been able to find anything specifially about Small C+, but it seems to just be C with support for the proper address size on the Z88.
Of course, none of this is really what I thought I was talking about.
After spending a bit of time trying to vindicate myself, it looks like what I remember as C+ is actually a set of headers to implement object oriented-ness in C. This project is a little bit newer than I thought, but is probably what my brain was triggering on.
If I was worried about Karma, I'd eat tofu.
SysAdmin interviewee lists both Solaris and BSD skills. "Which system, Solaris or BSD, would give you more information if you ran 'ps -ef'?" Didn't know. Didn't get the job.
Would you hire someone who stated they were studying 'Mechatronics Engineering' on their resume? The reason im asking this is because I want to know if it sounds like a fake word/profession.
came as he went, ...
fired with enthusiasm.
have a Macro Virus attached
There was a former co-worker, trying to come back to work for the company he'd left a few years prior. He listed four references -- two of whom were still with the company (and whom he had not contacted -- they were blindsided by the resume). Worst of all, though, one of the references had been dead for almost a year.
I won't even get into the pretentious fonts, excessive use of MCSE logos, check-list format skills summary, or four-line bargraph showing time spent with each company.
Too bad it's not online -- I'd post a link.
Didn't list 'de-licing' though.
There's also the story about the man who worked in pest-control, and listed as previous positions: Assassin, Serial Killer, Mercenary.
I was reviwing resumes just the other day. Stuff that really gets to me:
...": as opposed to "seeking a position where I can read Slashdot all day"?
...": I'm supposed to believe you were responsible?
"Seeking a challenging position doing
"Excelent comunication skiils." (I haven't seen exactly that one, but I've seen close.)
"Xxx is a worldwide leader
Misspellings in experience, e.g., "Microsoft Steal Head" (Steelhead was router software in Windows NT 4.0)
"Excellent debugging / problem solving / communications skills": in your humble opinion?
And my favorite of all: "Contact me for resume."
Stupid job ads, weird spam, occasional insight at
but on the application under availability (by a high school graduate)
sunday: eny
monday: eny
tuesday: eny
wednesday: eny
thursday: eny
friday: eny
saturday: nun
sunday: nun
Don't leave your mind so open that your brain falls out. Don't close it so much that you cut off the blood.
At my high school job (retail sales), we received an application where the applicant had filled out "Mister Meaner" next to the Have you ever been convicted of a crime? question.
The expression is "I could NOT care less." Think about it.
After all, whey should foreign doctors have to be held to the same standard and pass the same boards as native doctors?
It's not like peoples lives....
Considering I'm not in a management position, I have had to interview and review the resumes of way too many people. I continue to be amazed by spelling & grammar errors. I expect them on Slashdot but not in a document which one has had time to craft and upon which one's future may depend. We don't automatically toss those resumes, they're never applying for positions which require strong writing skills, but if they get an interview we ask more questions related to paying attention to details ("rm -rf / tmp/, what's wrong with this?").
This sentence from a recent cover letter caught my eye and I felt compelled to blog it.
I am very hard worker and a stickler for details. (Yes, English is their first language but even if it wasn't, that would be no excuse.)
I still have a big stack of resumes and cover letters for people I've interviewed over the years. I'll review them for do's and don'ts next year when I relocate and have to update my own resume. Maybe I'll compile a list of the funny stuff I find along the way.
A mall clothing store I interviewed at gave a written test to measure morality & ethics. One of the questions was something like, "when you take drugs, do you prefer: (a) marijuana, (b)cocaine, or (c) I only drink alcohol." Waitaminute! There wasn't a choice for "I don't do drugs."! I wrote my answers in on the Scantron form. Got the job, though I never did understand what they were testing for.
If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right. (Adapted from Henry Ford)
People often forget that, it's not the language you know, but the system that you program for that's important.
.NET evangelist. All of the concepts are the same.
Learning the syntax of any programming language is incredibly easy, and once you understand the fundamental concepts of programming, you can apply it to any new language that comes out. Whether you're a C++ genius, a Java guru, a Perl hacker, a VB monkey, a Python hippie, or a Microsoft
What's much more harder, and what takes much more time, is to learn the intricacies of the system that you're programming for.
Writing solid C++ code for Linux, is incredibly different than writing solid C++ MFC code for Windows. The syntax might look alike, but the system calls and whatever else you need is different. The same goes for Java, except with that language, you are more abstracted from the hardware layer, and you program for the Java platform. But still.. you gotta know the "Java system of programming."
I am sorry but if you think that C+ is a language then I would have to say you ate too much wall candy as a child. Think before you speak/write and then you won't post mindless garbage.
That's why I wonder why people don't use some of the same tactics that advertisers use? Were's the "commercials"? Were's the "billboards"? If they can use them on us, why not the same on them?
Aren't we tired of "plain jane" resumes by now?
At last job I got to see a few of the resumes that came in, mostly the dumb-asses handed them to me so I could give them to the boss. On my little pre-reads I came across one of the best "skills" I believe is read like this: Experienced in Winzip. What the hell? I should be adding stuff like "10 years experience with text files" to my resume... see what that gets me. Needless to say we did not hire that guy.
much more harder?
Some guy who faxed us his resume probably entered bullshit into the fields that his faxing software used as the "From" entry (part of every page's header) when he installed it, and never bothered to change it. Or verify it.
Every page had a header that said "fuck you".
Us: Have you worked with NIS?
Him: -blank stare-
Us: YP?
Him: -blank stare-
Us: "Yellow Pages"
Him: Oh yeah! I know how to use the phone book!
I left the room as I couldn't hold back from laughing any more. The entire interview, before and after (I'm told), went that way.
No, I am NOT kidding... this was a guy who claimed extensive Solaris & SunOS experience, and we were the admin team for a 750 node all-Solaris/SunOS network at a major corporation.
- Preferences: Solaris 10 (servers), Ubuntu (desktops), Solaris 11 (personal servers) -
Was a Moderator for Slashdot.
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass
++C++-- must be a real bitch to program in, what with all the undefined bahavior. I guess it's better than C+ at least, where all you get is syntax errors?
The ocean parts and the meteors come down
Laid out in amber, baby.
...so then there's hope for defense contractors, too!
- You will be told different things by different people...
- Obviously, nobody has four years of experience with HTML 4.01, since the specification came out in 1999... [this was in 2002]
In short, I wrote the sort of ad I'd want to read, and we found a great webmaster.Obviously the applicant is Catholic and dedicates herself to serving Christ on weekends, you insensitive clod.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
"'Excellent debugging / problem solving / communications skills': in your humble opinion?"
Resume advisors and books always encourage people to puff-up their resume with fluff like this. I think it is pretty much expected nowadays.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
"What's in my pocket?" That is about as fair as your question. How many people have the fields that come up for commands for every argument combo memorized? That is why we have reference manuals and man pages.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
U.K. Disco Dancing Champion
I've got the DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class) listed on my resume under my "Professional Memberships" section (along with the ACM, etc).
I've only had one person comment on it, and that was because they knew of a different DNRC group. However, they didn't even ask what this DNRC was after I told them I didn't know anything about the other group.
Either people never feel they have to question me about things they don't know about on my resume, or the people who recognize it know not to draw attention, but quietly boost my chances for job offers.
At a former employer, a very small company, we had one resume for a sysadmin position come in that (in violation of good ethics and probably a law or two) was so funny we passed it around for everyone to see. The guy had listed every single bit of hardware he'd ever touched.
I mean, he listed a twenty different brands and models of monitors. I think he even listed different keyboard manufacturers.
IIRC the whole thing was like seven pages long.
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
You cannot wash away blood with blood
"You make big guns, and the fact that we have those big guns makes our enemies too afraid to attack us, making the world a safer place"
A safer place for us, maybe. Someone needs to protect the rest of the world from us. Funny, the naval base at Pearl Harbor didn't make the world a safer place, nor did the atomic bomb save the World Trade Center.
Lots of guns doesn't mean fewer enemies and it sure doesn't mean you are invulnerable.
Instead of the Nobel Prize maybe you could work on the Edward Teller Prize.
The thing that gets me is that I INVENTED C and C++ and these thieves keep using my trademarks without permission.
I also invented the internet during a late work night with Al Gore.
This is all on my resume of course.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
now it is... take a look at ms' new patent app.
Large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
...listed as work experience for a network administration position. Unfortunately none of his other past jobs were any more appropriate either.
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Actually, the Nobel Prize is named after Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite...at the time, certainly the most novel new method to kill people.
I never realized Turing was one of those violent idiots that enjoy death. Damn, another hero of mine falls hard. I thought the guy worked to end war, not to kill people by touching one of those things and learning how to use one of those things.
Actually, C++ == (C = C + 1) but lets not split hairs.
As far as the langauge goes, according to a big graph I got on the wall from CrossTalk:
CPL - 1963
BCPL - July 1967
B - 1969
C - 1971
C(K&R) - 1978
C with Classes - April 1980
C++ - July 1983
Objective C - 1983
Concurrent C - 1984
ANSI C - 1989
No C+.
There's a growing sense that even if The Future comes,
most of us won't be able to afford it.
-- Lemmy
LANGUAGE!
You poke it into a computer and the computer does stuff... what more do you want?
But I agree with most of your post.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
When I was applying to grad school, I had to do a resume of sorts. There was one section to list awards and distinctions received during your college career. I put in a blurb about the Nintendo Championship, which I won my senior year and was runner up for my junior year. (Alas, they stopped doing Wizard-style championships by the time I won, and the grand prizes were determined by random drawing, so I lost out on the $10,000 scholarship deal. Rats.)
And, not a resume itself, but we had some freaky people interview for us before. There was the guy who needed us to give him a wake up call so he could come to the interview, because he didn't own a clock. Then there was someone who preached throughout his interview about how he was adamantly against object-oriented programming and considered it one of the ills of society. A bit odd to get so passionate about in an interview for a java/C++ position.
It took a while to convince the recruiter that BCPL and B existed.
Zero Sum (don't amount to much). [root@localhost]
Which so appalled Alfred that he created the Nobel Prize out of guilt.
And you, madam, are very ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.