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I'm looking around for a way to prevent machines on our network from talking to each other...

Actually I think you meant to use this link.

That would be ripping off StupidaScreen (described at the bottom of the page).

Dumbmentia already had one these designed years ago...

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StupidaMouse
Some companies make pointing devices with special features -- rollers to help us scroll down pages, extra buttons, you name it. One company in particular (ahem) makes something called an IntelliMouse. What we really need is a mouse with no buttons... so users will stop clicking on things and crashing their systems.
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http://www.dumbentia.com/pdflib/stupida.pdf

Well sort of :)

Sixty minutes? Pfft. I can secure any network in sixty seconds. You can, too, with these instructions.

Some years ago, a nice fake advertisement was proposing to switch (dumb) users to the "StupidaMouse" along with StupidaKey and more

http://www.dumbentia.com/pdflib/stupida.pdf

Here ya go (pdf) - just for you! I hear there's a USB version on the way ... :-)

Actually, autoclick would be a killer - you'd need a passive area on the screen to 'park' the mouse. Furthermore, any inadvertent jiggle of the mouse could lead to unseen consequences.

Seriously though, I wish there was a Chuck card. I recently helped resurrect a spyware-laden Win Me box (my father in law's) connected to the Internet on Broadband with no firewall, anti-virus, or anti-spyware software. It had 30 different families of spyware living on the machine (over 1000 total pieces of junk), and they had taken over. It took me longer than I would care to admit, over a couple of days, with not much in the way of encouragement. I'm especially proud of getting Ad-Aware to do a scan under safe mode without a mouse, and with 16 colors on the monitor. It's not fun, let me tell you.

Then after all that, I get home and get an angry phone call about something or other not working. This turned out to be a missing browser favorite or some such, as I had switched them from IE to Maxthon, and they didn't know where the favorite was. Blah. Eventually though I did get a gift certificate to a restaurant, so I got a nice steak for my troubles, which I suppose is a fair trade.

One more anecdote: I turned on automatic updates for him, but he tells me that he hasn't installed any of them yet- he was afraid to!

yeah maybe a dumb terminal would suffice, but how would the clerk play doom3 while ignoring the customers?!

Like this.

Try a Redundant Array of Floppy Disks.

I suppose you've all seen the Dumbentia "Linux is more geeky" [pdf] parody ad...

In 30 minutes, I copied the hard drive data to a CD, verified it was the keyboard connector, and returned the items to the owner for FREE. I was rewarded with a $50 gift card to Best Buy.

You lucky bastard. When I'm honest and helpful I usually get rewarded by having my phone number given out to friends, and tons of people asking me for help. Not an excuse to be dishonest, mind you, but reason enough to deny somebody help. If only Chuck were real...

Scissors

really what more do you need?

Doh! @#$% up the link: Caffiderm!

You need

Sean

Go to this page. Scroll down to StupidaMouse.

I think it will fit the bill perfectly.

Well not always the worst thing.

Of course Linux is more geeky than Windows. Tell me something new.

In stunning AmberVision (tm): http://www.dumbentia.com/pdflib/last.pdf

Reading this article reminds me of a .pdf I saw a while back at a parody site called Dumbentia.com.

Scary and so very true...

Imagine a keyboard without keys! Oh, but wait

Even better are these three products. (PDF required)

Well this looks like something that might give my old PCs some new life. I would suspect with the scaled-back interface, it is as geeky as older releases.

Hee hee ... ho hoo .. you're killing me. Oh ... mercy ... let me wipe the tear of laughter from my eye.

Oh my .. that was a good laugh. UNIX System Administration in 24 hours ... yeah, I want one of those near my mission critical Solaris servers. I'm sure I can sleep entirely confident that the big iron in my data center will be entirely and completely secure ... ho, ho ... heee .. I can't stop laughing ... oh please stop ... no, don't mention backups and restoratin contingencies ... hhhooooeeeee

I mean 24 hours isn't a whole lot of time to give someone the experience they need to catch things before they happen .. I mean, I realize *NIX isn't as geeky as it used to be ... but c'mon kids ... what happens when you need someone to administer something 'for real' like an Apache server?

ultimate foolproof network security model

.. can use this one[pdf] :-)?

I've seen a mouse like this before. It's the StupidaMouse, the mouse with no buttons ("so users will stop clicking on things and crashing their computers"). [HTML]

I've seen a mouse like this before. It's the StupidaMouse, the mouse with no buttons ("so users will stop clicking on things and crashing their computers"). [HTML]

Here's a really useful buttonless mouse, the Stupidamouse.

I never thought that parody would become reality... check out this 1998 parody Stupidamouse.

American Scissors Council

-phil

Try these Parody Posters. It is fun.

I'm looking forward to Quake 4: Quaker.

Maybe with the later versions of laptops, they'll bundle a package of marshmallows rather than Microsoft Works. You might get more done in the long run anyway with the marshmallows. :)

Ex-squeeze me? You don't honestly believe that Microsoft is going to support its competition??

What you will see is just like what everyone sees that tries to use the Microsot web services like Windows update, Knowledge base etc etc. A redirection to download Internet Explorer.

After all, with Netscape, or a secure (i.e. non-Microsoft) OS, Microsoft couldn't as easily spy on their users than with their own products. It's funny how IE barfs out completely when I block msid.msn.com with a couple ipchains rules. Even if I didn't access MSN at all.

Brave New World, indeed. Take a little SOMA.NET and all will be well.

(Just don't ask any questions.)

Not a new idea. Here [PDF] is the best no-button mouse to-date and it's been around since '97. Reckon it has Apple beat??

The "StupidaMouse" from Dumbentia in 1998. (Warning - it's a pdf file.)

The "StupidaMouse" from Dumbentia in 1998. (Warning - it's a pdf file.)

Alright, first, I'll get the obligatory funny link of the post out of the way (the StupidaMouse). Now, on with the meat of the post:

Optical mice? No balls or wheels to get dirty? Great! I can cross the Q-tips and rubbing alcohol out of my office supply list.

Cordless? Wonderful! No longer will I have to put up with that pesky mouse sliding away from me and causing focus to switch to some other window.

But removing the buttons; is this really necessary?

It makes it easier to click. Well, that's all good. I'm all for easier and more free movement. But still, given the choice between a standard PS/2 mouse for $5, and Apple's optical, cordless, buttonless wonder for $80, which do you think people are going to pay for?

Then again, let's not forget we're talking about Apple here; saved by the iMac which newbies plunked down their dead presidents for because it was pretty. Who knows what they'll do next.

If you need me, I'll be off painting the Brooklyn Bridge turquoise.

PS: Relax, you Mac zealots. I'm not bashing Macs - just the dummies who buy them because they don't clash with the curtians.

Sreeram.
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Observation is the essence of art.

From their 1998 gallery.

From their 1998 gallery.

Someone already invented a no-button mouse about 2 years ago... Wonder if it's already patented?

;)

Your Working Boy,

Over at dumbentia. Perhaps life does imitate art.

See Womb Raider here.

(Must have a .pdf viewer)

From one of my favorite sites: http://www.dumbentia.com/pdflib/cpqad.pdf

Who is to say that all the rather occultish things don't have their place. The subconcious mind has the ability to process data in ways that allow for individuals to make decisions based on information that is gathered in ways we cannot detect or were conciously trying to avoid (an annoying co-worker, boss, whinny kid at the burger window). PS on a related note check out this for something that might work.

Build a beowulf out of them. (I realize this is a basic Slashdot post cliche, but it actually applies)

Take a mess of old PC's and build a beowulf. Now true, it wouldn't be a great machine and I would be cautious to use anything older then a 486DX (need a math processor) but it would still function.

If this isn't adequate I would look into LAST(PDF)

Why do you even need TWO? Just hold down the key when you want 1, and let go when you want 0.

If you really want to dumb-down your keyboard look at this interesting mouse/keyboard made especially for dumb users (Keyboards for Dummies(tm)?)

Anyone remember the Tano industrial computers? I picked one up at a General Electric blind auction for 10 bucks back in '86, before I could afford a PC. The thing had an integrated 13 in black-and-white (text only) screen, and a 160K floppy drive. I had no software for it except for the OS. BUT it had a command line to switch the console over to the serial port. I'd hook it up to a 300 baud acoustic modem (auction price: $5) and dial the local BBSs. The fun was that in order to change data bit / stop bits / parity bits settings for each BBS, I would have power down, pull the serial card (about the size of an AT motherboard), change the dip switch settings, put it back, etc. etc. It got served me for a year before I could scrape up the cash for a Leading Edge Model D. By the way, you may want to check out the Large Array of Stale Technology parody at my site. It's pretty relevant to this discussion, I think.

At least the stuff at my site has something to do with computers. Sometimes.