Slashdot Mirror
Please Don't Ask Me About Windows On Christmas
Like many Slashdot users I spend a wee bit of my otherwise leisure
time doing gratis tech support for people I may not even know. I usually don't
mind too much but last Christmas I got more than one call from distant
relatives that, along with wanting to spread holiday cheer, had me weigh in on
whatever might be wrong with their new gadget. I was pleased as punch to see this
article in the NYT (F.R.Y.Y.Y) about
where I might be able to send the less techo hip. If you do *Windows* tech
support for grandma after hours this article might also come in handy." Here are a couple of previous articles about the sorry state of conventional support options -- perhaps articles like this will spark some entrepreneurial ideas, too.
Heh, I don't even have to wast for the holidays... ppl call me up anyhow, and the first thing that crosses my mind is
dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/hda bs=512
There now, that should fix it....
C|N>K
In my Unix Operator days, I used to get these calls. Actually they turned out to be beneficial (to the OS world).... I got some of the users to upgrade to StartOffice/OpenOffice or even Linux.
Consensus is good, but informed dictatorship is better
Get some tissue paper, when they call at a reasonable hour like those telemarketers do, put the tissue paper on the phone talk into it for about 5 seconds and hang up, now have your family members stand by to disconnect every phone in the house. Pretty soon they will have to find somewhere else to go, if they live close to you a restraining order helps.
if google made $1 everytime someone used them to find an answer to a tech support question, they would 0wn microsoft.
I'll offer to do support for Macs, since they're what I know best. Oh wait ... I'm done already. ;-)
;-)
I feel ever so slightly guilty about it, but I have for years kept very quiet about knowing *anything* about computers. I used to do tech support (secondary to coding) and don't remember it fondly. If you couldn't fix the problem, you were possibly incompetent; if you could, the problem was maybe your fault, or easy. (OK, that's the mos cynical description.)
Worst of all, people would ask me to work on their PC's (shudder) where I'm pretty ignorant, having tuned out around Windows 3.1. There's an idea out there that if you "know something about computers" that you can strike up a conversation with *any* computer. (You know, like the American theory that anyone anywhere can understand English if you just speak it slowly and loudly enough.
But to help out is great, it's a shame to see $1000+ paperweights. Also, as a Mac fan and investor I have wanted people to enjoy their machine -- that evangelism thang.
Gee, I had a point here. Just some observations I suppose, sitting here with my wireless iBook.... Works great.
Never let anyone know your job/schooling involves tweaking computers.
Example:
Hot Blonde at Campus Bar : So what's your major?
You : Computer Science
Hot Blonde at Campus Bar : Ooh, can I get some help from you later? Here's my roommate's friend's number. They'll know how to get in touch with me.
You : Cool!
Later On, after spending 20 hours on some shitty HTML assignment for her:
Hot Blonde previously at Campus Bar : Get the fuck out of the Computer Lab, loser.
Wrong!
Let's try again.
Hot Blonde at Campus Bar : So what's your major?
You : Art History
Hot Blonde at Campus Bar : My daddy bought me a cool Rembrandt painting for my 16th birthday. Well that, and the bimmer. Want to come up to my room and see it?
Correct.
This can be rough if the only people you know are coworkers and people in your Degree Major, but if you're that kind of person, you're fucked anyways.
I had to learn this the hard way, being in Computer Science in a previous life. Although my answer to the problem was to change majors ; instead, I am a Liberal Arts Major. And *wink wink* my previous major was Mathematics.
Call up Janie Porche and her PowerBook. She saved Christmas! Who wants to spend Christmas afternoon downloading Windows drivers??
Is your browser retarded?
People, I realize that support options for most software products are severely lacking, but you must jump down off your "high horse" so to speak and consider what kinds of support options exist for folks using the preferred software here at Slashdot, "Open Source" (or "Free").
Users of free software are an interesting bunch. They knowingly accept and embrace and are even attracted to the fact that it's traditionally much harder to use than everyday Windows software. This is fine and good until 90% of them realize that they can't even get their freshly-downloaded project to configure/compile itself. Another 8% do manage to do so, but then they run into problems figuring out how to get it to work to do what they want it to do (e.g. "Hmm, was that tar -xfp or -xzfv tar?). Still the meager 2%, or the truly gifted gurus, actually manage to run the program.
Now comes the tough part -- tech support.
After using pico or more software to read the INSTALL and README files, a user is still baffled by certain run-time characteristics of the Free Software project. They then turn to (as indicated on the project website) to the appropriate IRC channel.
You guys all know what happens next; after a series of RTFM j00 dumb n00bie!!1 and Wow your dumb comments, 99.1% of these folks who were initially awe-inspired by Open Source turn severely sour on it and give up. They then reinstall Windows and go along their merry way.
This is all (mostly) truth, people, and the figures prove it. There are probably a couple million people who use Linux as their preferred desktop. Everyone else uses Windows or OS X because support options with these types of licensed proprietary products are paramount when compared to Linux-class code and support.
Your parents run Windows for a reason, and trust me -- it's not because it looks that incredible. It's just easier to use, and easier to get support for. End of story.
Sure, I use Linux and really respect myself and others who do the same. But even the most unexpected people turn to another platform after awhile because the support that we all give for our Linux projects just simply sucks. I know I personally don't have time to support apps I write, and you folks probably don't either.
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
If they paid for the current software I ask them to have the people that got the money fix the problem.
This is a good lead in for putting Mozilla / OpenOffice etc on the windows box.
Help fight continental drift.
Amen!
--Sullen silence.--
"Sorry you're having troubles, well, have a merry Christmas!"
Seriously, despite my best advice, my technophobe parents bought a Windows laptop over an iBook, because "they needed MicroSoft Office" (sigh). It's needed warranty support twice now in a year, and I'm trying to be the kind son and not laugh out loud each time they tell me about a problem with it.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
As someone who did PC support for years, I can relate to this. Everyone and their brother wants help with their PC's, and expects it for free. They think you like nothing better than to sit around giving computer advice at family functions, parties, etc. You wouldn't expect your brother-in-law the mechanic to fix your car for free, would you? Or get a free root canal from a relative who's a dentist? Why is there this perception that IT people should work for free, and live to fix your Windows problems? Now I just tell them I only work on mainframes (or "BIG Computers" when they give you a blank look), and don't know Windows. Anyway, sorry for the rant, this is something that's been bugging me for years.
If someone asks me for help, that's what I say. Either they think Windows is all computers, in which case they think I'm stupid and leave me alone, or they think I'm an elitist fuck that doesn't use the computer that 95% of the world uses, and they leave me alone.
Sometimes they ask what I use and I explain (Linux, BSD, Mac). I remember this one guy in Kinko's that was dumbfounded that Linux didn't ever bluescreen (you mean ALL computers don't do that?). [This was before the currently more stable Windows].
In a few years I'm sure I'll get dumbfounded looks when I say, "yeah, and linux doesn't even need to be connected to the internet to play music files".
PS: After living in college dorm I can fully understand why some lawyers and doctors don't give free advice EVER. "Hey you're the guy that knows computers?". answer: "Yeah that's me, you must be the hall moron? I've been waiting for you! Come on in."
PPS: Did I mention I really am an elitist fuck?
I'm starting to get "Christmas requests" at work and frankly I don't want to do any of it, but people do ask who to buy from. I just tell them to goto Dell or even CDW as that's who I use for corporate, but they aren't necessarily the best deals nor the best option for the home buyer and I'd hate to point them to Best Buy or some other retail nightmare. By retail nightmare I mean a selection of only Compaqs starting at much more than what they're worth, $40 USB and parallel cables, pushy saleskids pushing worthless 'extended warranties', etc.
So who to recommend? I'd like to point people towards a company or two who excel in price and service. It doesn't matter if they're a multi-national or some local/web only shop, but the latter would be nice. So what retailers would you recommend for technophobes in need of a windows machine that'll do the basics?
just say "its gonna cost ya..." and because one can offer tech support much cheaper than best buy or something of that nature.And because they are already on the phone or such with you, chances are they will have you fix it. I just have them bring the machine to me, and get 20 - 40 bucks depending on what i had todo. If im going to take time away from sitting on my ass and doing nothing, might as well get some spending money.
but what if the computer won't boot, or won't run IE :)
For more involved questions, they do.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
"Uncle Frank gave me his old PC with a 50 Mhz Pentium Processor, 4 meg RAM, ISA video card, and monochrome display. How can I get The Sims on here? I think we have like 900k free on the A drive..."
"This food is problematic."
Still a lot cheaper than $1/min, and much more useful
Consensus is good, but informed dictatorship is better
Come on, someone ask what this means so I can reply and get karma!
Typically, those things include cables and batteries, along with such obscurities as RF modulators, a little-known requirement for hooking a new DVD player to an old television set.
Who the hell has a television this old (I haven't seen one without RCA input in a decade) and a DVD player? Huh? Huh? Please, tell me.
More to the point of the headline (if not the article. Yet another shitty summary of an article. According to standardized test scores, I wasn't as good at picking out the main topic. Clearly, I was leaps and bounds above CT and the rest of the gang.): Good God, will someone please port Quicken to Linux so that I can force my mother to switch? Barring that, does anyone have a copy of Win2K that I can put on her machine and not give her the admin password for?
Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. -John Lennon
We're called Geeks and Nerds in general...
...but when 'they' (the populace who ridicule or look down on us) want us to do something for them, we're called 'friends'. That is until we've fixed it and gone home.
Cynicism, don't you just love it, eh?
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
Supporting Windows is making me rich! I am constantly receiving calls from clients who run NT, 2000 and even XP! A lack of support options means I am in demand! In this economy I can't afford for people to switch from Windows.
:)
Please, if you care about the IT support business; if you like spending every spare minute earning cash; or if you just want to see other peoples' systems crash and burn, JUST SAY WINDOWS!!
And if you can get people to install those freaking HP print managers and logitech mouseman drivers, hey! More business for me
When you're down visiting for Christmas I need you to open up my CD drive and see what's making all that racket, because you're a programmer and know all about computers!
A Government Is a Body of People, Usually Notably Ungoverned
Perhaps I don't get it. If its friends or family, why would this be a problem? I've been asked for help plenty of times over the years and never thought twice about it. Why would I?
Generaly they just ask what might be wrong. And you probably wouldn't think it wrong to ask for free of your bother-in-law "My car's engine seems to be making a lot of noise, you know what might be wrong?" Anymore than somone asking an IT person "My computer doesn't seem to be able to access the internet, you know how I can fix that?"
People are just generaly looking for advise of somone they consider an expert. Most often they think you just know the answer rather than having to look it up, find out what's going on, so they don't see it as a burden to you.
It's not just somthing that happens to IT people. It's just that you happen to be one, so it's more evidnet.
Why not just burn them a copy of knoppix from http://www.knopper.net/knoppix/, just put it into their cdrom and boot. Done!
"They created the abortion of an OS, so let them support it." Those are the exact words I use.
This is my thinking on the matter:
If I go do the job that MS tech support is supposed to be doing, I am, in fact, donating to them. Why should I do that? They have money and resources and time. They are not paying me to answer questions. So, why should I spend my time and energy?
Now, I am not talking about fixing stuff at work. I am talking about fixing other people's computers.
I first took this stance a few years ago at a family get together. Suddenly it was "let's ask Randy all our Windows questions." On the way home it dawned on me what an entirely shitty evening I had because I got to solve everyone's problems for free. I fixed their problems and got nothing in return.
What really took the cake though was this friend of a friend whose computer I got roped into fixing. While I am sitting there trying to fix a sound card problem and get the 10 different copies of Netscape off the machine (yes, she had 10 copies of Netscape) the lady says to me, "well, my son says there is nothing wrong with the sound card drivers." I looked her square in the eye and said "Who's your son?" Then I got up and promptly left. I wasn't charging the lady any money, but the last thing in the world I want is some car mechanic son of hers telling me how to do my job.
I now provide support for only two people - my mom and my dad. That's it. If someone asks me for help I tell them I charge $100/hour billable in 15 minute increments. Unless they are running Linux, then I do it for free.
One final story: I had this one chucklehead I used to work with call me up at work one day and ask some dumb Windows question - it was something like "Why do I get a blue screen?" My answer - "That's Windows!" He proceeds to tell me how Windows is really popular and that when he worked for some company on the help desk (like this guy could help anyone) he came to that conclusion because he got 100 calls for Windows support vs one call for Mac support. To which I replied, "Well, maybe that's because Windows is so shitty it needs that many support calls." He hung up pretty quick.
Can you tell me what RTFM means? I thought it was Rage Against The Machine, but there's no F in it.
Meat is murder, I eat chicken.
Here's the article, no registration, no fake registration, nothing.
90% of the NYT stories that Slashdot posts can be viewed without registration through a deal that the New York Times has with Asahi.com. You can see the listing of stories here.
Isn't this part of the mantra of open source proponents? Maybe not exactly, but there are many people here who probably devote hundreds of hours per year to coding open source projects, from useful to useless. But if cousin Sam asks how to rip a disc to MP3 on WinXP? Suddenly the 'free' attitude stops?
creation science book
telnet google.com 80 :-)
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
--I just checked! Ya know how google has a decent compromise business model text link sponsors list off to the right based on the keyword? I just tried generic "windows" as a search term. Yep, microsoft on the top hits, natch, but could they drop the coin to help google by buying a text link? NOPE!
*hint to alternative os distro guys, any flavor, nice place for a link there on google "Yo! Tired of Windows? Looking for a cheaper and better idea? Try Nitro-Metha*nix OS and etc, klik heir"
Honestly. THIS from the crowd that chants "information wants to be free" and demands free MP3s, free software, free source, free speech, free beer, and even free Kevin.
Most of us are doing fairly well for ourselves. Getting some good money in doing what we most love. I would do what I do for free if I didn't have any bills to worry about.
Most considerate relatives give back of their own talents and abilities to those that give free support, and if they don't, your problem is you don't stand up for yourself.
I swear I mean all of this, it isn't a troll. However, I expect the flames to start in 3...2...1...NOW
username: 54dc5232e897cb
password: 54dc5232e897cb
Bottom line, don't lament your inevitable consultation requests. Help them as best you can, and then cash in the karma for appropriate favors from them. I think you'll find it comes in handy.
"You're never ready, just less unprepared."
My sister is a resident (having completed her MD a couple years ago) and will be entering practice shortly. She spends a fair amount of family gatherings fending off people wanting to consult her about medical problems. A good friend of mine, who happens to be a lawyer, does the same for legal problems. Granted, we swap favors for each other (I trade computer knowledge with him for the occasional bit of legal suggestions; and I'm always willing to help my sister out), but there seems to be an "expectation" that if someone has specialized knowledge and you meet them in a social situation, that you can sponge off that specialized knowledge.
Christmas is the time for giving, right? How about giving up a few minute of your time for tech support you stingy people!
Reading this article reminds me of a .pdf I saw a while back at a parody site called Dumbentia.com.
Scary and so very true...
...I stop feeling like I am using my skills to learn about and fix a good system. I feel like I am the poor guy stuck ironing out problems that shouldn't exist. This takes away that admiration and respect we have for a system that is essential to our interest in technology.
What makes a man want to be a mouse? (Python's Flying Circus)
Lucky us we were the lead story!
More Info if your curioious.
Even though I cures Bill Gates nightly before bed Microsoft is who keeps us in business. I feel like those northern California pot growers with the DEA. And yes the real geeks here at 888 Geek Help run Linux but none of our customers do. If you can compile a kernel you can find answers yourself. With the Wal-Mart distro's we may yet see that change Also none of our customers read Slashdot as they can't reach a URL without "www"
BTW We are now hiring
-888 Geek Help (888-433-5435)
Upgraded to Linux?
Sorry, I thought by upgrade you meant "more functionality" or "easier to use"...
Does it make you happy you're so strange?
So it's a frelling acronym now, huh? If you people are gonna keep this pace up, RTFA may actually get in handy some day!
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
Amen to all the above.
I had a (former) friend call me up at 3:00 am to help him with a (he ran windows) computer problem.
Needless to say I was pissed. The only thing that saved him from a toasting was the answering machine.
Yes, of course. ... ;)
It is BOTH, otherwise they would use windows, which is the downgrade
You follow the idea
Good boy, Sit now.
(I don't mind helping out, but doing it blind via a phone call is really hard and very time consuming.)
Same here. I used to use IRC a lot. Many years. It just seems like the people taking over are just retarted. I left about a year ago. It's nothing but a waste of time. I don't miss it at all.
The above is not worth reading.
We've came a long way since then...
APT, Red Carpet, and etc for packaging...
IRC networks like GIMP NET and OpenProjects NET often have the actual developers ( who want to help to get more users ) of the product...
Makes your problems seem quaint and distant...
Sorry to burst your bubble we get plenty of Mac calls. For 5% of market share they require maybe 20% of our calls (but are way faster to fix -provided we have enough Mac geeks on staff). Of course the Mac people like their computer while the M$ folks spend half the call time cursing Bill Gates. www.888geekhelp.com (lead in the aforementioned article)
-888 Geek Help (888-433-5435)
I see a lot of griping about fixing computer problems here. Sure, I can understand politely saying "I'm sorry, its Xmas, I'll help you another day", but I don't understand saying "Go away, I'll never help you!"
I will admit, I have fixed computers for family and friends. I have even given away low cost parts for cheap. In return, I have called on the same members of my family and friends for help moving, for advice on vehicle problems, to borrow items, or just to dig their brains for a specific kernel of knowledge.
Help your family and friends. The only calls you should be turning down (or charging for) are from aquaintances that only contact you when they need computer help. Being friendly isn't an excuse to be walked on.
Just my $.02
I usually don't feed obvious trolls, but 'easier to use' comes into play with the fact that you don't get a bluescreen each time you open some file or plug in some new whizbang device, don't have to worry about virii everytime you get an email, etc. There is such a thing that's called productivity and it happens best when a user isn't forced to reboot constantly.
If you're a typical Microdroid, save your speech about how stable XP is for you and how you haven't rebooted since you installed it. That's bullshit and you know it.
Back to your cave, with some enlightenment.
Geez, grow up and try to help out your family, regardless of whether they use Linux, Windows, OSX, or Joe's Bait Shop OS v.4.13.
Your family doesn't like your elitist, arrogant attitude any more than I do.
You're overpaid and you don't need the money! After all, you work in computers, right?? You might be a Linux programmer but you work in computers and that's more than good enough so you must answer why Windoze XP doesn't act the way they want it to.
Karma whorin' since 1999
(not in order, but some random responses :))
... well, because he is a stubborn techno-masochist. Certainly not for the support or ease of use :) In fact, he's grumbling enough about how much nicer Macs seem that I predict he'll join Ellen Feiss at least a small metaphoric sense.
;) ... and a decent Linux desktop IMO comes much closer in feel to OS X than does Windows of any sort.)
:)
:) Most people (I assert, cannot prove) never install software on their computers, and never upgrade the hardware. A default install of Red Hat / Mandrake / Lycoris includes a broad range of preinstalled software which beats the pre-installed set on most Windows PCs. Packaging religons aside, there's a lot of software available in nice packaging for a) all the RPM based distros of Linux and b) even better, as debs for users of debian-based distros as well as c) in the ports tree for BSD, for those so inclined. For the many applications so packaged, it's hard to complain.
... I've seen bextremes of both helpful and antagonistic responses to questions online, sometimes as the asker and sometimes just as an observer. I know less about the Windows side of things, but some of the worst / rudest behavior I've seen has been directed by supposed Windows gururs toward people asking them questions. I have never seen evidence that free software programmers / IRC denizens are any worse, and I've seen several who go far, far beyond the call of duty to help newbies (or fumblefingers like me).
:)
"Your parents run Windows for a reason, and trust me -- it's not because it looks that incredible. It's just easier to use, and easier to get support for. End of story."
Well, that's one story, but not the only possible one. For instance, when my mom needed a computer for school, I convinced to get herself an iBook, and she's been using it to write papers, exchange email, find things with google (using mozilla, which she prefers to IE), etc. (Prior to this, she had a seldom-used Windows frankenbox which was always crashing, causing long-distance bills to ask me questions to which I had no answer, etc.) Mac OS and Mac OS X are pretty, and for many people at least feel much friendlier than Windows does.
My dad's Windows machine crashes frequently, bogged down with the anti-virus gunk which is necessary to fight the virus gunk, and so and and so forth until we reach the anti-anti-anti-missile. And he complains, but tolerates (not likes) Windows because of
(You mention OS X in passing, I know, but I just wanted to emphasize that
"Users of free software are an interesting bunch. They knowingly accept and embrace and are even attracted to the fact that it's traditionally much harder to use than everyday Windows software."
Eh, there may be some geek-chic self-abuse among a certain subgroup of the huge universe of people who for some reason or another (use / like / tolerate / rely on) free software, but the real "interesting bunch" is a *very* large set. Some people may embrace unfriendly software simply because it sets them apart, but I think its a tiny fraction, however vocal. I like easy software, myself
That a lot of free software is complicated to get going is a good point -- but it's not fair to smear all of it because some of it is bad. There's a lot of bad software for nearly any platform
Re: online rudeness, hostility towards question-askers, etc
Anyhow. Maybe you're just trolling anyhow, but whatever
timothy
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
Actually sounds interesting. What are your requirements for your geeks? Particular knowledge? Certain amount of experience? Do you do VOIP to connect customers with geeks? I assume your geeks are independent contractors? Details? Details?
I've tried #linux before. At least when I was on, the people there were rude and most were completely ignorant of what linux is. I actually was explaining what Linux was to somebody who probably would have been more comfortable with AIM (not that bright, probably a 15-year old preppie girl who doesn't care). I asked a question and got booted off the group, with a "this is not linuxhelp. go to #linuxhelp is you want help." I just don't get it... we need a #idiot-channel-lusers for people who go misuse the linux channel and other channels that should be reserved. Good to get that off my chest.
BTW, I went to #linuxhelp and found the people there very friendly and helpful. They had answers or at least leads to answers for all my questions.
I would like to recommend us: 888 Geek Help . We are the lead in the aforementioned story. We run a decent and honest company -First, we don't just undercut the competition -we charge about 1/3 and then we give as much as possible to the Geek (tech) -Second, All levels of management also work a Geeks and everyone gets paid the same. Third, our model is to treat customers like we ourselves would like to be treated. No mailing lists, no information selling, no signups and no minimums. We use an extensive feedback system to make sure we are doing things right right. Also or service is just plain fair: We let the customer ask their question and tell them how long it may take before asking for billing information. Even then the customer can still back out for ANY reason within the first 15 minutes if they are not satisfied. We can do this because when we treat our customers right, they treat us well in return. Plus no job is too large or too small. Check out some of our Info or our FAQ for more. Also feel free to email me if you have a specific question.
-888 Geek Help (888-433-5435)
Too busy staying alive... ~ R.A.
free registration yadda yadda yadda
-888 Geek Help (888-433-5435)
You need to hit irc.openprojects.net. Most, if not all, of the ops are fair and nice guys, and you'll meet alot of knowledgable people there. I'm in #mandrake once in a great while.
>Ugh, slashdot analogies are always horrible.. >And since we've established that, let me make an >equally horrible one... Think of Microsoft as >your corner crack dealer. You may not approve of >what he does, and yes, if you ignore him he >probably won't try to sell you crack.. But hey, >if you need some crack, he's the only place >you're gonna find it.
/. analogies, yours is the worst one... by a mile.
Wow, you are right about the abd
There is ONE Microsoft yet there are dozens of crack dealers on every corner in urban centers...
I have yet to see a neighborhood where there is only one crack dealer. Drugs business runs likes all others; the laws of economics. (Of course, the zillion dollar drug war the US wages against its own citizens proves that the biggest pushers of capiltaism do no understand the concept of supply and demand, prices & profits and so on. Ironic.)
"So Mr.Pot meet Mr.Kettle. You will both be working together after school trying to find one good analogy to use. If you cannot find one, then you will forbidden from referring to them until the end of the school year."
hello, yeah i am having problems with my PC
okay, what is the problem.
well, the computer is doing _______________.
okay, what distribution are you using? mandrake, debian, redhat?
um, i don't know, it's a PC
okay, down in the bottom right hand corner, there is either a K, or a foot.
no, it says start
(hmmm..., must be icewm)okay, press start, then click terminals, click aterm, then type uname -a and hit return
um, there's no terminals option.
okay, you see pretty fields inthe background?
yes
good, makes you feel relaxed and comfortable, right?
yes
good, it's supposed to. go to slashdot. see my sig.
what's a sig?
My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
There's something called "productivity", and it's called "turning the computer on and doing what I need to without fidgeting around with stuff".
That feature also comes on the Mac platform.
As for BSOD, yes, I got that twice a day on Win98, but only twice in a year and a half on WinXP.
I installed Linux, once, and I didn't find much use for it other than dicking around and exploring stuff.
Does it make you happy you're so strange?
Actually I'd say that's really not slashdot material.
I live in a giant bucket.
It's usually not so bad. Normally I'll do work for whomever asks (friends/family), and they feed me. Depends how complicated it is, sometimes I also get food to take home as well ;)
And, as others have said, it's great karma (or "brownie points" if you prefer).
http://www.apple.com/switch/ads/janieporche.html
You see, christmas ia no longer a joy for the teenager. Not only must the awkward youth spend time with family and endure endless comments about (lack of) boyfriends, (lack of) taste in clothes and finaly, (lack of) social life. We must now deal with the mind boggling queries of the adults about their new toys.
Grandma got a new version of Windows. Joy. Although I am not a windows users and must give support *over the phone*, not able to play around and discover the problem, I am expected to be able to fix her installation woes, and quickly.
Of course, I must also make AOL work in an efficent manner. I would comment that I am not Jesus Christ, but that kind of heathenism isn't allowed at the dinner table.
Let's not get into the time I was asked to install an older version of Windows (95) over a newer version (ME) without distroying any of the information on the computer. (i.e., without formating.) When I asked why, I was told that Grandpa's Outlook Express wasn't printing files properly. My hand became firmly stapled to my forehead.
*sigh* And they say my angst is unjustified.
"You sir, have just crossed my happy line..."
speaking of christmas, where's geek gifts 2002? i need ideas for my christmas list, damnit!
The line is the same at all the holiday parties:
Host: So what do yo do for a living?
Me: I'm the Network Administrator at a small private school.
Host: Really? Hey, you know something about computers! I've got this problem...can you help me out? I'm sure it will only take a second.
Me: If you know it will only take a second, then why do you need me?
Holiday parties would only be worse if I was a doctor...
-ted
I bought one of these t-shirts based on that theory and found the number of people who asked me about their computers actually increased. Doh. :(
C'mon people, this argument is getting tired. Isn't the industry well developed enough at this point to realise that hey, linux is stable...wow, MS is easy to use (therefore preferred by Joe User)...y'know, if I know both, I might just be able to get by....
For the record (from my 2K Server):
Current System Uptime: 147 day(s), 23 hour(s), 4 minute(s), 18 second(s)
Since 25/06/2002:
System Availability: 99.9668%
Total Uptime: 151d 11h:45m:31s
Total Downtime: 0d 1h:12m:25s
Total Reboots: 8
Mean Time Between Reboots: 18.94 days
Total Bluescreens: 0
From my Linux server:
5:17am up 93 days, 20:22, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
(sorry, that's as detailed as you get with linux)
user: skankyho69
pwd: bitchslap
yes, it does work. anon 'cause i'm not a karma whore.
We quiz potential Geeks with anything we can think of -mixture or most common / hard as hell questions we ourselves have had. We check out resumes and certifications but our criteria are high moral character, tech knowledge, and phone/people skills. We drop Geeks if they get bad customer feedback. VOIP does not have the quality (we get lots of elderly with hearing impairments) We do everything from first timer getting online to some fairly robust C programming. Mostly we do general stuff but we have a big pool of geeks so you may even get someone who can out linux the best /.ers
/. post I just did
Here is a reprint of my other
We run a decent and honest company -we don't just undercut the competition -we charge 1/3 and then we give as much as possible to the Geek (tech) -All levels of management also work as Geeks and everyone gets paid the same. Or model is to treat customers like we ourselves would like to be treated. No mailing lists, no information selling, no signups and no minimums. We use an extensive feedback system to make sure we are doing things right right. Also or service is just plain fair: First we let the customer ask their question and tell them how long it may take before asking for billing information. Second, the customer can back out for ANY reason within the first 15 minutes if they are not satisfied. Plus no job is too large or too small. Check out some of our Info or our FAQ for more. Also feel free to email me if you have a specific question
-888 Geek Help (888-433-5435)
My father was a dentist (he recently retired). A number of the family friends were therefore also medical people (other dentists, orthopedic surgeons, general pracititioners, surgeons, etc.).
Growing up going to Christmas parties, it would frequently come to pass that someone would walk up to my father and say "Merry Christmas, Doc! Listen, I've got this tooth that's a bit sore..." and then proceed to open his mouth and point at the tooth in question and make noises that tried to sound reasonable while still letting Dad have a view of the canapes lodged in their molars.
My father has been getting the last laugh, however. Because now (15 years later) when we're together at a Christmas party, people say "Hey, aren't you in computers or something?" and then proceed to tell me about their latest woes connecting their latest toy. Or they want to know who this "General Protection Fault" guy is and what the military is doing in their computer.
Although I have to admit: telling them I don't use Windows and can't help them does result in a marvelous blank look from them I use to run away and see about some more canapes.
The only people I provide support on their personal machines are my parents.
A while ago, one person decided to accuse me after fixing her laptop of locking her out of some silly ass program that she uses - it turned out that she was playing with the settings and set a password on her program and forgot the password.
So fuck em. If they ask for computer advise from me, I tell them to go to Dell or Gateway. If they ask for me to fix their PCs, they get told depending on my mood one of the following:
I do what I assume 90% of Slashdot readers do: if someone wants me to come over and fix their PC, then I make sure to head over around meal times.
Win-win...
I used to help people with their computers. The biggest problem is that they usually thought I was having all the fun of the world, and usually didn't consider it as work.
Ha!
if google made $1 everytime someone used them to find an answer to a tech support question, they would 0wn microsoft.
...the Wininet.dll file determines if the HTML content attached to the HTTP error is a well designed Web page. This is based on the size of the page.
I always find it amusing when the answer to your question is in the Microsoft Knowledge Base, but Microsoft's search engine doesn't seem to find it. Hint: add "site:support.microsoft.com" to the end of your query. For example, to see Microsoft's definition of quality:
well-designed web page site:support.microsoft.com
Q218155:
$x='S24;r)>63/* h@<5+oZ)32"5cz';$me='phroggy'x$];
$x=~y+ -xz+\0-Tx+;print$_^chop$me for split'',$x;
The original post said "If you do *Windows* tech support for grandma...", I was just wondering whos grandmother DOESNT use Windows? For some reason he emphasized windows like there was some other option that grandmothers use but not one of my relatives even knows what Linux/MacOsX/FreeBSD is. I was wondering if any of your grandparents/parents/siblings/offspring have seen the other options available or are they like mine?
http://sflip.com
Everybody has a computer these days, and everybody has computer problems. They know to find you pretty easily, and if you once agreed, you're up for daily calls and general stalking. HOW DO YOU GET RID OF THEM?! >=|
The masses are victims in this too, they get tricked to buy an expensive machine that can do 'all that cool multimedia stuff', but they fail to get how complex the machine is, that a computer's not an appliance. No matter how simple the OS is, when things go wrong, you better know something about the thing or you're screwed. And that's where it goes wrong, with most people. C'mon, many people can't even set up their own internet access or mail settings...
I've been thinking for a long time already that it'd be cool to set up some company people can call to if they have computer problems. Not like a support contract or anything, rather like a docter who takes housecalls. If you take care that you send out someone the same day, you'd definately beat those damn computer shops here that overcharge for fixing your machine, taking it into custody for a month or so... Replacing some so-called 'broken hardware components' you never asked for in the process.
A simple, fast on-site computer help/repair hotline in a reasonably populated area would make you a millionaire, if set up properly.
See what could happen.
Don't be free tech support for Microsoft. If they want to use Windows, fine. It's their choice, their problem. Not yours. Let them pay... how much is now? $100 a call?
Users must learn the cost of their decissions.
can anyone decipher this one? i pondered over it for a good while.
-D
Hi; Please don't help MS keep their lumbering pieces of crap in the air. If ppl want to use MS products, that is their free choice. They should be prepared to pay the price of the time required (infinite - heh) to make their junk work.
Guys, do the world a favour, don't help _anyone_ make this crap work. If they choose a decent OS (unix/mac/linux) by all means help them.
Regards.
... and the only reason I do, is because I provided her a PowerMac two years ago as a X-mas present, complete with Internet access. I pre-configured it before I gave it to her, and I know exactly how everything is set up and what software needs to be updated and when.
This computer's 7 years old now (it's a PowerMac 7600), and runs OS9, but it works, and it works damn well. She hasn't complained to me about speed (it's only a 255MHz G3), and recently commented on how much she'd like a laptop and printer for work (she's an RN). My girlfriend mentioned that she has an available iBook and my mom seemed quite interested.
Yes, I'm unabashed Mac supporter, but for a reason. It worked great, for my mom, and it works great for me. I knew she was really using it when she started meeting guys online. Hoo boy.
Someones not running the latest windows patches!
My mom's hilarious. She calls me with problems on her Toshiba laptop, even though the last three cmputers I've owned have been macs and she bought me two of them. Sigh. :)
Triv
I fixed this problem years ago. I got completely off of M$ back in '95. When people ask questions, I say "I've never heard of it". Or, "Microsoft? Are they still around?."
Works for me.
Yippee, so your systems stay up. I can do the same thing with my linux boxes:
mail/radius/postgres box (authenticates and accounts for all NAS ports across three cities (over 1000 ports)):
colocation box (~48 colocated web/mail hosts):
50-user fileserver (HW RAID5 UW2):
hmm, time's a bit off on that one.
You don't have fancy uptime stats out of the box on Linux, no, but I've never found much use for them except for bragging rights. I get a fuck of a lot of work done under Linux, and I'm sure you get tons of it done under Win2k -- what's your point?
And for the record, I find that I am far more productive with Linux than I ever was with Win32. I am lucky enough to have most of the work I need to do able to be done under Linux, but then again, so does most of the world. The problem I see is that they don't realize that they can be just as productive without paying the Microsoft tax and existing within the upgrade cycle that Wintel places them in.
-1 flamebait: Thanks for calling me an elitist. I'm not. I use Linux because I'm lazy and it makes my life easier. I don't abuse users of other operating systems, because I have an M$ box in the corner to deal with ancient hardware and other hastles that Bill Gates works to give me. To abuse others for caving into Billy G's Convicted Abusive Monopoly Practices would be hypocritical. I can imagine someone like you being abusive, in fact I can see it right here. I hope you got your jollies and that M$ pays more than five francs an hour for astroturfing.
-1 offtopic: This conversation is about where to send distant realatives and other aquantances who know you as a "computer guy". The NYT article mentions several help services which are useful when you don't know the answer. I really don't know about Windoze problems because Windoze stuff is poorly documented and I don't use it because it was a horrible pain in the ass. I appreciate the advice in the article. This post does nothing but crow about nonextent benifits of Windoze, insult the readers of this site and FUD on user support for free software and got in my way.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
I get lots of code done on my linux box... perl/tk, my website, java, some C, etc...
and on windows, I get just as much work done....
ut2003, battlefield 1942, neverwinter nights....hey wait a minute....
just a an fyi, not a troll.
my point is, for me, linux is both a tinkering system and a WORKstation... the windows partition is strictly for goofing off:)
Looking for Book Reviews? Check out Literary Escapism.
I truly do hope you get a clue, before you start whining to Linux advocates to just get Internet Explorer ported already.
I also wonder if the reduction of support calls and increase in profit is simply the result of more people having years of experience with windows. I'm not saying windows hasn't improved, but since windows accounts for a higher percentage of desktop systems than 1988, more people are familair with it. One would expect the percentage of calls to stay roughly the same as time goes on. But on the otherhand, it could simply be attributed to manufacturers improving the installation/manufacturing process. Early on, manufacturers were still figuring out a reliable way to build systems, but as time went on they got better at it. So in many ways, the percieved improvement of windows may not be the results of Microsoft engineers and is most likely the result of programmers getting better at writing software drivers for windows. then again these are all guesses without any proof.
hey, I support your argument about linux. Not trying to troll ya, but...for a 50-user file server, this is quite a low load average. Being up for 318 days with about 0 load (ok, maybe it was just the past 15 minutes) is not a convincing argument (however the first two heavily-loaded and long-running hosts are).
"I get lots of code done on my linux box... perl/tk, my website, java, some C, etc...
and on windows, I get just as much work done....
ut2003, battlefield 1942, neverwinter nights....hey wait a minute....
just a an fyi, not a troll.
my point is, for me, linux is both a tinkering system and a WORKstation... the windows partition is strictly for goofing off:) "
Are you implying that Windows isn't for 'work'? Sorry, I can't quite tell. Well in case you do mean that, hear my story:
I'm a 3D Artist. I do lots of 3D rendering using Lightwave. I do texture painting in Photoshop. I do compositing in After Effects. My computer is *constantly* busy. I'm running Windows 2000, and I don't have stability issues. (I wouldn't dare say that about Win 9X, at best I had 2 days uptime with any of those OS's.)
I get quite a bit of 'work' done, and Windows isn't standing in my way. I have not lost a single render due to Windows or LW instability.
Would Linux be just as stable? Sure. No doubt about it. The thing is, though, Windows is happily doing what I need it to. (And the games you mention are a big plus) If I'm to switch to Linux, it's going to have to be better than Windows, not just caught up.
It's funny really, this article is about supporting Windows. What about supporting Linux? I loathe the idea of telling my mom (who lives 3,000 miles alway) to open a 'shell window' and type in badly spelt commands in a case sensitive manner.
Anyway, rant rant rant. If Windows was such a 'toy OS', I wouldn't be able to depend on it. I know lots of people, all artists, that'll tell you the same thing.
"Derp de derp."
Out of curiosity, how'd you call that up?
i try to only support my parents. they wanted a new(faster) computer. i said, give me 50$, buy the stuff and ill get it set up for you. i installed xp, all of thier shit and thier documents/email over, made an image and told them that if they fucked it up, they will lose all of their data, that they are responsible for backups and that i will just image the system
I will take the time to install a free OS for them and teach them a little about how to keep it going and where they can get more information. In fact, I've got three or four older computers I'm willing to give away for such people. It takes less time and I know that it will work. If someone is really interested, great, otherwise they undersand that I just don't do windoze.
For those of you who actually do windoze all day as your job and everyone knows it, I am sorry. The troubles you eXPerience at work might just haunt your family too. I got a headache just thinking of that. It's time to go to bed.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
This is why I finally just shut the ringer off on my phones last year for about 2 months.. I deal with the BS ALLLLL year, I DONT need to listen to why everyones USB stuff wont work and fix it as if I have nothing else to do (actually I dont, but thats besides the point lol)
A:\>uptime
Bad command or file not found.
A:\>/bin/uptime
Bad command or file not found.
A:\>^C^C^C
^#$&*#
NO CARRIER
The doctor answered: "I advise him to see a doctor".
If you live in the Tampa Bay area, there is no charge for shipping.
--Joey
While I am not Jamie Porshe. I set up my folks with a wireless airport network that would automatically connect to their DSL whenever they accessed an app that required the "net". Six months later, my sister, who has the same ISP asked me how I was able to have my parents connect automatically...she always has to use Internet Connect when accessing the net. I told her that I had configured the Airport to connect automatically...She now is deciding whether it is worth buying an Airport to forgo having to connect each time.
My folks are very happy with their set up.
Think of the hours of wasted time saved by some software that does a routine task.
I did my part last christmas, but this shit should not even be necessary. The OS should automatically configure things for people.
Y
no sig.
...the same people wrote the bible that thought the world was flat.
The rest of the world thought the world was flat.
The bible writers wrote that it is spherical, an orb, round.
See Job among others, I'll look up the reference when I get home from work.
For the past 8 years, since I was 15, I've been doing tech support on Christmas morning. I'll get up around 5 A.M. and wait for my first call. It has actually become one of my busiest days for doing installations and software troubleshooting.
:)
It all started one blistery christmas morning when I got a call from one of my friends. He had his computer setup for a whole 10 minutes before he "Broke it". Now, with me having nothing to do on Christmas except listen to my family babble on I was more than happy to run over to his house and fix his computer. When I got there I flipped the switch, it said it couldn't find the hard drive so I checked the CMOS settings, sure enough he had gotten in there and changed the hard drive settings. Well, it got me $20 and a good meal so I was happy.
So over the years I started getting more and more calls; it all culminated into me earning big bucks on the holyest of days. Last Christmas I upgraded the local Borough Hall computers (6 of em) and brought in enough cash to pay for the presents I bought and still have cash left over for a long night of heavy drinking with friends. I love the holiday season, it always smells of money
As the power flows in, the screen grows warm, another day starts, I'm at work again...
actually my comment was in response to the over-simplification in the grandparent comment-
it IS possible to get work done in linux.
as for tinkering, when I set up my computer to dual boot debian and win2k, it took me 2 hours to get EVERYTHING in debian up and running, recompile a new kernel, and upgrade from stable to sarge (and I'm an idiot). only 2 reboots.
with windows, it took me the rest of the day and the day after just to get the ethernet and geforce working. Over 23 reboots. Yes, I counted.
although thinking back, "tinkering with windows" is less like tinkering and more like "bashing with a mallet."
I never called it a toy os, I was just pointing out that that was the only use for me.
Looking for Book Reviews? Check out Literary Escapism.
"That's YOUR decision if you choose to ignore Microsoft just because they're microsoft - and I certainly won't bash you for it - but sometimes a microsoft product IS 'the best tool' for the job.."
I am not in IT, but I always find it amusing how efficient IT "professionals" are. Too efficient, I might add.
I have been studying to become a CPA, and I can state from direct experience that the current set of accounting standards are by no means the "best way to do things." In this respect, accounting standards for CPAs are comparable to Laws for Lawyers. So if they are so inefficient, why do CPAs and Lawyers make much, much more $ than "IT Professionals?" Because CPAs and Lawyers are REAL Professionals (please hear me out on this).
You see, REAL professionals need organisations, that are acting in the best interest of the profession, to have control over the standards of the profession. CPAs have the AICPA (and FASB). Lawyers have the BAR association. And IT workers have . . . Microsoft, who, like you said, control most of the industry, so they control the standards of the profession.
However, MS doesn't care about the IT profession. They care about selling their software. Cheap IT workers = more software sales. So, Microsoft prints out MSCE certificates like its printing out money, turning IT workers into somewhere just above your average McDonald's employee.
I know, in your effort to do your job "better," you pick the "best tool." However, while you are doing a great service to your company, you are doing a great disservice to your profession when that "tool" reinforces a closed standard.
The lack of wider use of Open Standards and Open Source software (at least for Operating Systems, which set the standards for all applications, commercial and non-commerical) are the only things keeping IT workers from enjoying the security that other professions enjoy.
Sdelat' Ameriku velikoy Snova!
Your line of crap didn't reveal anything that his didn't reveal, so he stands still (for the most part) correct.
Though you can get more detailed information you're not going to get it out of a single command, which I think was his point.
My gf currently lives in Brazil, I don't, I live in Chicago. This is a problem for many reasons (airfare, time differences, etc.).
I was nice enough to buy her a Palm. I got her an m100 to replace the Palm IIIe that kind of died. I gave her the IIIe when I got a Handspring for free (which eventually broke and I had to replace it, which I did with a Palm IIIxe). But the m100 had a problem on battery swap; if you switched batteries, you lost all data on the handheld. Hmm, so much for Palm quality control.
OK, no problem, you just have to do a HotSync before a battery change right? Did I mention her PC had only one serial port, and no PS2 port? Yes, the mouse was on the serial port, making any HotSync pretty complicated. So she ICQ's me, and tells mer her dilemma - the Palm m100 seems to die completely when she changes the battery. The normal battery changeover wipes out the memory, and she's worried about it, all her phone numbers are on it. So I have to call her with a pretty expensive phone card, how to use the command line tools I installed (I installed pilot-xfer previous to this because I saw the palm tools on her box were kind of iffy). So I'm trying to have her do the batch file in wrote, and also the Palm tools in case they accidentally worked.. did I mention this was all in French?
So I call on a couple expensive phone cards ($80 worth at the end), speaking French to my Brazilian gf trying to swap serial ports from mouse to Palm, trying to explain the command line stuff, while also attempting the (previously flakey) Palm software and finally getting the battery swap done. Pain in the ass, but she didn't lose any phone numbers. This was an hour and a half call the first time (which is why I ble two pretty expensive calling cards, luckily enough I've found cheaper since).
She joked around, saying that once I got it for her, it was my responsibility to keep it running, she was damn serious about it too.
The real problem with fixing someone's PC is that they won't follow the two simple rules of a stable windows box:
1. Install what you need, then never install anything else. Especially not games!
2. Always shut down correctly before turning the power off.
I help the people that follow the rules. They have very stable windows machines that work well for *years* and stay fast with no registry bloat.
People who don't follow the rule quickly get crashy, unreliable systems - and frequently try to make me feel responsible for their problems, because I'm the last person who mucked with the settings.
My uncle is a bit older and taught me this lesson early. See he's an electrical engineer and learned how to fix TV's in the sixties. When word got out that he could fix TV's, he spent all his time fixing TV's for friends, and then got blamed when they eventually died anyway.
It should be +5 Insightfull! I knew the "play the fool" tactic, but haven't heard a word before about the tshirt solution. Neat!
unfinished: (adj.)
Of course you could just celebrate Yule, a wiccan sabbat, which happens to fall just before christmas this year...
What a reboot doesn't restart your uptime? That's really funny, you can know how stable it is untill you let it on for 151 real days (when you reboot, you are making a clean start, and it means it's at least 18 days stable average).
unfinished: (adj.)
"... you're not going to get it out of a single command"
/var/logs/*
$ less
(filter as you like if you wish)
unfinished: (adj.)
Total Bluescreens: 0
That's like advertizing "Low fat water, with NO cholesterol". Windows 2000 and on do not give BSOD. I know it's stable enough (I get proxied by one of those), but you can't keep any uptime up if you stay "updated".
unfinished: (adj.)
Very well put, thank you. I've tried to explain this very thing to people many times and have never managed to make it so clear or so simple.
I'll be stealing whatever parts of this I can manage to remember the next time I'm in one of those conversations.
Russ
Information doesn't want to be anthropomorphized anymore.
I agree; the prevailing attitudes here are rather disturbing. It's an age-old issue: doctors get leant on for medical advice, car mechanics get leant on for help with cars, teachers get leant on for advice on bringing up kids.
In general, people who are seen to be skilled in a particular area get leant on for advice/help in that area. It's a social issue, and people who aren't caring enough to give a little of their time whilst also being socially skilled enough to restrict that time and say 'no' when leant on too much, need to improve their peopleware skills ;o)
Yep, there's often no thanks at the end of it. But isn't the pleasure of something like getting Grandma on-line and up-to-speed with the internet enough? You're sharing your knowledge. Even when you're not familiar with the technology, you're sharing your analytical skills and helping someone to work it out. It's only when you're too shy to draw the line and politely saying 'no' occasionally that resentment creeps in.
It's sad that we think relatives and friends should *always* call the customer support number.
I started to say "I only support Linux" a year ago, but now everybody seems to use Linux on the desktop. So even though Linux requires less support, the amount of Linux users makes me spend more and more time supporting family and stuff...
I've had three relatives ask me for opinions on computers before buying one. Each time, I gave a single, simple answer: iMac.
Each relative bought a PC from some local place (Best Buy, etc...)
Two of them called me asking what they could do when their system stopped booting because of some kind of corruption in Windows Explorer (something like that, I'm not a Windows user). Both called their respective tech support companies and were asked to reinstall their systems, having lost everything on their computer (not that they'd had them very long by this).
One of them was on his third or fourth computer when I last saw him. He keeps buying new ones with new versions of Windows because he feels the previous systems weren't stable enough.
The third one was nice enough to not call me, but was on her second machine within a year.
My point: They do exactly what you tell them not to do, then ask you for help when something goes wrong...even when it's something you told them to expect. It's disrespectful, and doesn't warrant my help.
-- The world is watching America, and America is watching TV.
Asking me questions is fine, unless I had a long day. Then I usually just tell people to ask me another day and that's fine by them. However, some people still expect me to fix everybody and their kid sister's systems. I used to cave easily to such requests, it being good karma and all. I mean it never hurts to have people owe you a favor, right?
Yeah, right. That is only as good as the people honoring it. Ask them something in return, and "uhm I am so busy right now". This gets even worse when they start telling you lies in order to have you come back for more help. Fake friends are always a very annoying thing, and it seems that tech talent attracts a lot of fake friends.
I only fix family's computer problems now, and maybe some very close friends. Everybody else will not get an offer of help from me anymore, and if they ask, i will give general advice at most. If they want my help, they better pay me - either in cold, hard cash or in some other way.
I mean, just because your aunt likes knitting, she isn't expected to make pullovers and socks for every dummy who comes along, right? So why should tech talent be any different?
I carry around copies of the "Geeks on Call" ad out of the yellow pages to hand out to the tech support free loaders. They take visa and amex. /One/ close friend I chat with at the office did pay me $20 to install a CD writer after work one day. That's about all I put up with.
Burned into memory is the Disney "Lion King" incident from many xmass ago, they released a CD not compatible with the large base of installed cdrom drives at the time. The saying that year was, "Sorry honey, daddy can't make the computer work". (Didn't involve me personally but the story reinforced a dedication to complete avoidance of cheap home pcs, crappy software and it's owners wanting free help).
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
Tech-Slacky HOWTO (with links to many formats and in english or spanish) is a funny recopilation of that problem with your "friends" and relatives asking for (Win)tech-support...
.. in 5 years from now.
In fact, I'm actually considering making at least some extra money on help like this.
I've got 15 years of solid computer expierience and the base of knowlege a geek - even without college IT - has over the Joe Sixpack and Janet Sockermom usually is massive.
Imagine having 50 to 100 people who's boxes you've set up over the years and they have a person to call to ask you to log in and fix the problem with that comp you sold them with Linux installed. After all, cars are commonplace nowadays and everybody has their local car shop guy handy when problems occur. It's gonna be just the same with computers. Might as well start adjusting to that.
This 'Speak with a geek' thing is just the way to go.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
I have a friend who has two boxes a dell and a compaq. He wanted to learn pc repair on his own so I hooked him up with a screwdriver set and last years copy of Upgrading and Repairing PCs.
I also gave him a couple of nics to practrice networking.
Now the dell has integrated networking so he dosen't use one of the cards. He puts it away for safe keeping.
I quote, "I know you warned me about static electricity so I put the card in a drawer wrapped in a old t-shirt that I just taken out of the dryer so it should be cool."
I then suggested a new line of work, like something in the fast food industry.
>
http://pinsa.escomposlinux.org/sromero/linux/pring ao/index.html
...
... AM I DOING HERE?"
... "HEY, COME OVER, I GOT THE X-PEE AND YOU HAVE TO INSTALL IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME NOW? I'M GOING TO TALK TO MY MOM AND YOU'LL SEE WHEN SHE TALKS TO HER FRIENDS AND THEY KNOW THAT JOANNA'S SON DIDN'T WANT TO HELP ME WITH THE COMPUTER. OH, SO YOU'RE COMING? OK, OK, I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU".
Welcome to the tech_slacky-Howto! The present document is a practical guide to demonstrate the following universal truths:
* Windows is easy to install (even a child could do it); it's just about clicking OK.
* Windows is easy to use (even a child could do it); you don't need to know anything to start using windows.
* Windows can perform advanced tasks even if the user doesn't know a word about computing; you don't need to know what RAM is or how a computer works.
* Windows can be learned in a few minutes. It's plug and play!
* Thanks to Windows, computers are now easy to use and this is why there's a computer at each home.
* People wouldn't be able to use computers if it weren't for Windows.
To demonstrate all the preceeding premises we will need the help of two special collaborators:
* Johnny Smartass (myself), an adorable 16 year old youngster son of the woman living at 1354 Evergreen Terrace, next house to...
* Ralph Jones, our just graduated in Computing Sciende after hard working years, GNU/Linux user and Free Software defender.
2 Required ingredients for the tech_slacky-Howto
In order to verify the premises exposed before we will need:
* A user who never owned a Personal Computer (Johnny Smartass in our example).
* A user with computing knowledge (not necessarily a geek, though it will help).
* Some kind of social links between them (for instance, being neighbours, though it's also ok to be brothers, cousins or friends. Even weaker links could work). In this example we will enjoy the invaluable help of Ralph's and Johnny's mothers, just neighbours.
* A very easy and user friendly Operative System, for which no computing knowledge at all is needed. Thanks to it we can use computers knowing nothing, just clicking around the mouse.
3 Installation and Operation Procedure
My name is Johnny Smartass, and I'm going to relate you a story that will prove how easy it is to use Windows and how did I get my own tech-slacky working. Our tech-slacky installation gets started with an innocent conversation between Susan Smartass (my mom) and Joanna Jones (Ralphs's mother) at the mall:
- And so my son is a Computing Science licensed now...
- Oh, really? What academy did he go to?
- Excuse me?
- Yes, I wanted to learn computing too, so I joined a
typing course. Now I type really fast at the typing
machine, so I guess it would have been easy for me to
become a Computing Science graduated at the university
or something...
-
- So I wanted to buy my son a computer and... hey!
Maybe your son could help him to buy it and that
way he can practise computing. He's even doing
your son a favour.
- Yeah, right, well... actually...
- That's it! This evening, when my son comes home
I'll tell him to come around your place so your
son can tell him what place would be the best to
buy the computer. You know, and maybe he can teach
him how to use it in his spare time...
- But, does your son need a computer?
- Of course! This way he will learn much more at
school! You know you get all A's in all your papers
for the computer knows all the answers, you
know it's something electrical and has
intelligence... Bad thing is, you know, all they
say at the news, the evil virus that terrorists
write, and the hackers, those evil youngsters who
break into your computer and do weird things on it
until it explodes killing all the people in
the house...
- Yeah, yeah, ok... you drop by later when my son
is around. See you later.
All right. We have the germ of our tech-slacky installed in the system.
Now let's see how to get it configured.
4 tech-slacky installation
First of all I talked to him (my tech-slacky) and I explained to him I wanted to buy a computer. The rest was easy... I went to his place and he showed me a few brochures with computer prices and the such, and he tried to explain to me something about the RUM memory and the CDRAM. What I really got clear from all he showed me was that the higher the numbers the better, price included. This last point is not a problem; dad's paying.
I was also told that computers are not Microsoft's, and they're not even called Windows. Windows is the program that you run in the computer. Cool. I don't care a shit about its name as long as I can play NHL and Kuake. He told me he used a system called Lunix or something, but when I asked him if I could run NHL on it he said I couldn't, so what a crap! What can something like that be useful for?
Ok. I did as if I was paying all my attention, and by the end of everything I said "I DON'T UNDERSTAND". I said it a few times, before my mom and his, until he said: "ALRIGHT, COME ON, I'LL GO BUY THE COMPUTER WITH YOU". It was at that point when I told my mom how busy I was hanging around with the guys and that I had to "attend" to the movies in the evening, so both mothers accorded that the best sollution would be to give the money to him and let him go buy the computer. You know, he's the Computing Science graduated, so there's nobody better than him to buy this kind of things. I wouldn't like to be swindled at the computer shop...
Three days after, Ralph brought my computer. Christ, how slow! It took him three days! I had to be waiting for three days watching tv and playing console videogames while he went to the computer shop twice, to order it and pick it up, and to top it off he comes home sweating like a pig and complaining about the monitor's weight, one of those 17 pinches. All excuses. He even says he got it for a very good price; I'm pretty sure he cheated my mom and got some money for himself arranging bills with the guy at the computer shop. Well, I don't think I wanna know.
I devoted the next hour to see how he set up the thing. Ralph was explaining to me what was each cable intended for and where should it be plugged, as if I would care. "I'M NOT GOING TO EVER TOUCH A SINGLE CABLE, JUST IN CASE I BREAK IT!" I told him. The man insisted that I needed to know how it all worked just in case, so I acted as if I really payed attention while he was talking about the mouse, the keyboard and the monitor.
He also told me a boring tale about the time when he bought a computer called Spectrum; first thing he did then was reading a BASIC manual and then went on reading all the mazagines that explained how a computer worked and all those silly things. I know about magazines too: I've been reading all the game reviews from PC Wold and The Game Magazine for two years now. And if there's something I got clear is the fact that Microsoft is a big company who makes the better programs, that NHL games have to be copied every year and that USBee is the coolest because its very fast. Look, here they say that serial modems are darn slow, but with the USBee modems you can send pictures to Australia as if it were your own city. It's also pretty clear that Offiss is a must have for cool firms. I have the Ofiss2000 already burnt, but the guys have the X-Pee so I'll have to get that one burnt. I don't want them laughing at me.
But let's keep on talking about setting up the computer.
When he was done with it, he then told me that I had to give him 150$ to get a copy of that Windows thing. 150 bucks! My goodness! He wanted to cheat us!
He wanted me to pay 150 bucks for a copy when my cousin has got all the Windows that ever existed. He even has double copies of some of them! Ralph went on getting heavy about not installing pirated software, so I had to answer back the following universal truths:
* Windows is free. Nobody pays for it.
* That guy who invented computers and the Internet, Bill Gates, is already too rich and he doesn't want any more money.
* After all, I just want it for playing.
* They are not going to starve for selling one less copy.
* Whoever doesn't pirate program is darn stupid. Pirates are very cool guys with a patch on an eye and they sell you all the programs you want for a ridiculous price.
Two hours later I had a Windows Millenium Edition CD borrowed from my cousin, so I dropped by my tech-slacky's house with my best "poor guy(tm)" face, making sure his mom would notice me. With a shy "I GOT THAT PROGRAM YOU TALKED ME ABOUT, WOULD YOU INSTALL IT FOR ME?" I got my tech-slacky to install WindowsME on my new computer.
From this point on things go downhill...
First we have him installing Windows for two hours. Needless to say we don't pay any attention to whatever he does, for it's not interesting at all no matter how much the freak insists on it saying the thing breaks quite often. We'll call him later if that happens.
Later on, when he reboots the computer, we'll insist on how important it is for us to know how to change the wallpaper. After being instructed on such technical duty, and when the tech-slacky believes he can go home, we'll beg if he wouldn't install a few programs we'll have around, from this little list:
* Offiss, which can be used to write everything. For instance, you can write your school papers or write down a friend's phone number. To do that you open Ofiss and you create a new document. There's a clip inside the computer who does everything, you don't need to know a word about it.
* PhotoSoap, which I use to fit my cousin's face in that dog's body we all have somewhere in our hard disk.
* 3Dee Studio MaX, which I don't know what is for but everybody has and sounds pretty cool. The 3Dee Studio thing is for my mom to think that it's some software to help studying.
* A couple of must have applications like NHL 2009 and Kuake 5.
* Some stuff I don't even know what it is: Winsip and GetRaigh.
* The Mac-a-Fee antivirus, so my computer doesn't get a cold when people sneeze next to it.
* The Encharta encyclopedia 2004, in 35 CDs. I install this one to show my mom all the stuff I can do with my computer, and copy school papers with that copy and paste thing.
* 60 more CDs, different topics.
At this point, the tech-slacky thinks:
"DAMN, I JUST SHOWED HIM A FEW BROCHURES WITH PRICES! WHAT THE
But let's continue...
After the installation of all this educational software, we will ask over again: "EVERYTHING'S IN THE START MENU, ISN'T IT?". We'll do this each time the tech-slacky tries to explain to us what files, folders and other stupid stuff are and why they exist. If he tries to show us a black screen in which you must type (yeah, folks, we have to type in the 21st century) we will tell him we don't understand it and we will ask him to add it to the start menu. If he says the thing can't be added to the start menu, we will mention that we thought he knew some more about computing...
Right after our tech-slacky is gone, we will take advantage of the two minutes that it takes to go from our house to his to install all the magazine CDs we have around; demos, and shareware programs which do lots of good stuff, as well as all the software downloaded from the internet by our friends. To do so, we disable Mac-a-Fee because the CDROM and the floppy drive crawl if we don't. If something gets screwed up we can still call our tech-slacky and say: "LISTEN, YOU DIDN'T INSTALL THIS PROPERLY: IT'S NOT WORKING".
If one day we get a BSOD, we know that "IT IS RALPH'S FAULT, FOR HE BOUGHT CHEAP HARDWARE THAT IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH THIS WINDOWS VERSION". And what's more: "HE CERTAINLY DIDN'T INSTALL IT THE RIGHT WAY".
I had to call him today again. The computer had broken because someone, wiping the dust off of it, unplugged the four button joystick's cable, so he had to come urgently to repair it. He's so fresh, he said: "SEE HOW EASY IS TO PLUG IT BACK AGAIN". Yeah, he might even want me to have a look where that cable goes. I don't know why it is such a big deal where that thing goes, if after all Windows is always working by itself!!
5 The tech-slacky upgrades
There always comes a time in the life of every Windows user in which he buys a new peripherical. For instance, a new USBee Plug and Play 104 buttons joystick. When such milestone arrives, we'll call the tech-slacky saying "WELL, IT WAS YOU WHO INSTALLED THE COMPUTER, SO WE THOUGHT IT SHOULD BE YOU WHO PLUGGED THE THING JUST IN CASE IT BROKE". If he insinuates that it is very easy or something, we will say "IT'S OK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HELP ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU". You see, he plugs it right in the back of the computer. So easy it is and he's always moaning. I'm sure he doesn't know a thing about computing.
Next day we are buying a CD Burner, and we act same way we did last time. This time the guy comes even with an screwdriver to open the case. Darn, it takes the slow guy more than half an hour to remove the cover, unplug cables, insert the burner, put the screws back into their place and put the cover back on the computer. I saw faster guys! Later on, he gets angry because he installed that SeeD Creator crap that came with the burner and I told him I wanted the MERO burning software. My God, so he wanted me to use a free program! Certainly this pirate MERO is way better, people wouldn't copy it and pirate it if it weren't. What's more, it got a 9.999997 out of 10 in the PC wold review, certified product with a three year guarantee and capable of burning all existing CDs there are, no matter their colour; even the 50 cents ones. Could any other program do that?
Another basic peripherical is the printer. First it takes him 2 days to bring it. Then he spends 3 hours telling me how to print, how to check the ink level and all that shit. Pay no attention. After 2 months, when we run out of ink exactly the day before the most important school paper in history is due, we call him with urgence. "LISTEN, THE PRINTER JUST BROKE". The tech-slacky will try to explain to us that we need to buy some ink. At that point we throw a couple of "I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT" at him, followed by a "I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BUY THAT" and topped off with a "WHAT IF I CHOOSE THE WRONG INK TYPE?".
The tech-slacky comes over with some fresh ink. He goes "start->Control Panel->Printers->Change cartridge" and a multimedia video pops up, showing in Dolby surround sound and pretty images how to change the ink cartridges. It turns out to be just about pressing a button on the front of the printer. Then, automatically, the front cover lifts up, cartridges are ejected and put straight in the trash bin leaving plenty of room to insert the fresh ones, while the computer starts screaming "PLEASE INSERT THE CARTRIDGE IN THE SLOT SIGNALED BY THE ARROW SHAPED 600 LED MOSSAIC". How difficult! We'll better leave it up to him, not to break something. Besides, it can be felt that the tech-slacky enjoys himself doing this, so we will call him again whenever something like that needs to be done. That way we will make him practise, and how he needs it! What a shitty Computing Science graduate, he doesn't even use Offiss.
6 Reinstallation
How weird. Sometimes my computer doesn't boot. In those cases the tech-slacky always says "WINDOWS MUST BE REINSTALLED, IT'S A CRAP AND IT HAS THESE KIND OF PROBLEMS". What a looser. Certainly he didn't install it properly. They say on TV that the best aperitive systems are written by Microsoft and everytime a new version comes out on the market people can kill to get a copy. They even stand in line. That means each version is better than the preceeding, bringing new features. We must admit Windows has everything: CD burning software, programs to write like Offiss, lots of games, software to do stuff in 3D, photo styling programs... and best thing is that everything's for free. And everything is in Windows thanks to Bill Gates, for it's he who writes a lot of programs. And new versions are coming out all the time. It's all so cool.
Today my computer won't boot. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I installed Offiss X-Pee and Exploter 6.0-turbo-netscape-killer without asking the tech-slacky. Let's see, we'll try a call...
RING-RING!
Ralph Jones: Who's that?
Johnny Smartass: This is Johnny, my computer just broke...
Ralph Jones: We're sorry, but the number you have
dialed cannot be reached...
After 15 attempts, we get the tech-slacky to come over to get everything reinstalled. We notice he really enjoys it, he lives it; we can see it in his eyes, completely red after two hours staring at the screen installing Windows. Someday he'll become a real expert thanks to these sessions, though I believe I'm a better expert than him for I have more burnt CDs, and I can burn more if I want to. And that's not all, now I can type at fuor hudnred wrods per mintune. That gives me advantage and I'll be hired as a computer expert and earn a millon per week. Everybody knows computing experts are people who spend their time sitting on their chairs playing solitaire in their Windows. They don't have to move a finger because Windows is very easy to use. If you have to do something, I don't know, one of these things that they do, they just roll the mouse over the start menu or something and they do it. And then again back to the solitaire and burning pirate software from the internet.
7 The Windows upgrade
The moment has come. They say on TV that we must buy Windows X-Pee because it's much better. All the previous versions were not real multitasking (whatever that means), but this is. Now the internet will be much faster, and now it comes with a built in Firewall. Cool, now we don't need an fire extinguisher at home anymore. Let's see, first we call the tech-slacky and he says he doesn't have the Windows X-Pee nor does he use it. We must not panic, any of our 20 friends with our same computing knowledge and their own tech-slackies must have it. Cool, in less than two hours I have a pirate copy at home. All right, let's install it... hmmm... where's the phone? We dial 1-800-techslacky
What a looser. How can he be a Computing Science graduate and not have a copy of the X-Pee when it's been on the shelves for a week now.
(One hour later)
What do you mean I need more of that RAM thing? And another hard disk? Isn't mine stiff enough? Ok ok, no problem. My mom will give you the money so you can go buy the stuff and get it installed. There you have the screwdrivers so you can start pulling the old things out, you know I don't like to mess inside the computer just in case...
And so there we have our tech-slacky going to the shop to get more RAM, a new hard drive and ready to have fun for three more hours installing everything (when I call him, that is, for I have different plans for this evening). Look at how much fun he's having with all this. He's learning so much thanks to me.
8 The Internet
I once called my friend the tech-slacky because my mom wanted to have internet installed. I gave him a CD so he could burn it for me, but he said I needed a modern and a phone line... I can smell it, he wants more money. But it's ok, we give him more money (my mom's thinking that this is already getting too expensive, she doesn't understand) and this is how we got internet at home. What a star that Bill Gates, now I can send files to my pals. Now I get files in my shared folders with names like "I hacked your thing.txt". I told a friend about it but he told me not to worry for Windows X-Pee has a built in firewall so nobody can break into our computer and kill us. We have the same security the NASA has, he says.
First thing the tech-slacky does is install Netscrape and Netscrape Messenger to read the mail, and he says we're safer against viruses like that. What an incult. He doesn't know I have the Mac-a-fee antivirus I installed last year. A friend just sent me a postcard in which you get fireworks and a Dolby surround 3D sound while the screen blinks. That postcard cannot be displayed correctly on Netscrape, but it can in Exploter and Outluck. Good thing I didn't use Netscrape, because if not I wouldn't be able to see the ActiveX 3D mail. I never got one of those, but you never know...
Now I'm getting into chatting. You know, you talk and people talk back at you. The tech-slacky came and installed a thing called mirc. We will ask our tech-slacky to install a thing called IRCrap. I've been told it's just a blast. The bad news is that you have to type, because the video seems not to be working. I comb myself and get in front of the screen, but my friend says that he can't see me, that maybe my ``WEBSCAN'' is broken. I have to call my tech-slacky and ask him what the heck a webscan is...
Sometimes I have to call my tech-slacky because internet doesn't work. Suddenly it says I don't have any modem in my system. But I do have one! It definitely broke... The tech-slacky comes over and he does some Detect Harware weird stuff, and then the computer says it found a new modem. Cool, I have two now! Last one must have been a present from Ralph, because he didn't ask for more money this time.
9 Conclusions
At this point we're certainly expert videogames and music burners, we know how to crack games with the www.gamecopyworld.com patches and we are Kuake 5 guru bitches. And best thing is we don't have a clue about how a computer works. It's simply not needed. This proves Windows is easy this is why it doesn't take too much work to our tech-slacky to fix things when he comes. This means also that we can use a computer with no knowledge at all, because we're capable of getting over any problem that can come up. Thanks God Windows makes PCs easy and you don't need to know anything about computers. What would it be of computing and how would there be a PC on each house if it weren't for Windows?
There are still a few things I can't do with my computer, but I don't care too much because I don't think they are important. That thing of getting Windows or Offiss installed I think I can do it now, my friend said it's all about clicking OK once and again. A thing that bugs me is that I remove software with the remove option, but later it is still in the start menu. I don't get it, the tech-slacky really did a bad job installing the thing...
It's alright, those are minutae. I've been using my computer for two years, I have all the hardwar recommended by the PC Wold magazine, I have a burner and I burn everything, I do my by papers copying from the Encarta encyclopedia, I chat with IRCap and everybody's green because I can use colours and put sounds in the channel, I have a firewall and each time a new version of a program comes out I download it from a warez site (for instance, I have the ACDsea version number 2.4.0.0.0 and now number 2.4.0.0.1 just came out. I must upgrade).
10 What can do tech-slackies to protect themselves
Hi. My name is Ralph Jones (a.k.a. tech-slacky) and I'm in charge of guiding you through this last chapter. I have 5 friends I helped buying their computers. According to my experience, I'll try to be brief and I'll expose it in just a few points:
* Can people drive without practising and getting a license? Can pilots fly planes without flying knowledge? The answer is no. Then why must there be a computer at each home? Computers are complex devices, running complex software. Any attempt to hide what lies beneath is a lie. You need to know what's inside a computer's cover, how the PC works and how to use it. It takes knowledge, interest and motivation. A computer is not a microwave oven. A computer is not a console (slide the cartridge in a go). If we read the instructions to program the VCR, why don't we do the same to use a PC?
* If you have a friend who owns a restaurant, does that give you the right to eat for free whenever you want? No, it doesn't. If you have a friend who likes computers, does that give you the right to call him to install/fix stuff in your computer whenever you want? No, it doesn't. Moral is: charge for your time 5, 10, 20 or even better 100 bucks per hour, no matter if it's about your neighbour, your friend, your father, your mother, your dog or even Luke Skywalker. Just do it.
* Windows makes easy what's easy and then makes difficult impossible.
* Windows is not easy. Windows seems easy because all the tech-slackies like us install and configure everything for them. We are Microsoft's technical support. We encourage the use of Windows, we encourage piracy. Even if we don't do it directly, we do it each time we install a Windows on a new computer. We do it when we install pirate copies of software to neighbours who ask for it, or when we get them for them. We do it when we solve their Windows problems, when we give them solutions. We are the "Windows is easy". I would like to see the face of a Windows regular user when his modem disappears from the control panel, when he tries to remove something from My PC and he cannot, when he tries to defrag the CDROM (yes, I've seen that), when he has to install an internal TV card, when the Windows registry screws up, when he receives an Offiss 97 file and he has the 95 version, when he gets blue screens and it's time for a reinstallation. We hide all that, because we take care of it. We have to stop this. They must see what they have, what they are using. They must see reality, the time they are wasting.
* If it's your neighbour's father who's asking you for advice, saying his son needs a computer for school work and never for playing (that's what they say), tell him you will install Linux, a more advanced operative system than Windows, used by Universities and ISPs. Even if it takes you longer to get it working (which I sincerely doubt) and you need to take your time to leave it personalised, you will NEVER be called because it broke, he will NEVER screw up the system, will NEVER have viruses, important system files will NEVER be deleted by mistake, crap from magazines will NEVER be installed, hardware will NEVER need to be upgraded after six months and the user will NEVER use games if not allowed to. Ask whoever asks you for advice what does he want his computer for. If he wants it for working, go for Linux; if he wants it for playing, see next point.
* Say you don't install Windows because it's highly discouraged due to its security holes and its bugs, and that you don't want to be responsible of such a pitiful product. Say that in respected places they use Linux or some other UNIX flavour, and that you don't use Windows since 1998 (my case) because you use a better operative system that allows you to work, study, learn computing and play videogames in your spare time. Tell him there are no viruses on Linux, tell him his son won't be able to screw it up and tell him that he, as a father, will be able to supervise what's intalled and used. Tell him the computer would be able to be shared by several persons and that they would have access to different things without screwing up other person's files. Tell him that it's even easier than Windows if you use KDE or GNOME (at this point you show him your desktop, needless to say more). Certainly, you will still have to install and configure it, but that's all.
If despite all this you still decide to help them intall Windows, all you will hear after all your good will and effort will be:
* I'm sure the guy from the computer shop got some good money...
* This is nothing but a BSOD box. I'm sure he bought the shittiest computer they sold...
* This is nothing but a BSOD box. I'm sure he didn't install it properly...
* (4 years after buying the computer): Christ, this is so darn slow! I don't understand it, we have 64 Meg RAM and a 2 Gb Hard Disk!! Why is Windows 2004 crawling like this?
* You see, I ask him if he can come over to put another hard drive and he tells me he cannot, he's busy doing homework and he has to work overnight to pay his car insurance this month. What a cousin you have, I'd be ashamed...
If even though, you still want to install Windows for someone:
* Make sure he/she knows how the computer works before turning it on. Don't boot it before he knows the PC has got a mother board where RAM, a hard disk, a processor and some other stuff are plugged in.
* Once running, don't let him use the computer until he understands there are files and folders, where the root directory is and where can he go from there, both from Windows and MSDOS.
* Explain to him there are superior operative systems, with less bugs, more stable and with more software.
* Show him how little software Windows brings out of the box (notepad, painbrush) and use the Windows calculator to calculate how much it would cost him all the software he's going to pirate (Office, Photoshop, ACDSee, etc...).
* Say no to installing pirate software. Install free software or open source software instead, like OpenOffice, Gimp, Netscape, Opera, Eudora... Show him the IExplorer and Outlook and tell him that if he uses them (as well as if he installs pirate sotware) you won't be able to help him anymore with his computer and that you decline all responsbility and won't be able to solve his problems.
* Install Linux with KDE or GNOME on other partition and leave it configured with internet access and a bunch of software hanging from the menus. Maybe he will feel curious and give it a try. They will realize it's not ugly, it's not slow. That will bring down all they lies they heard on TV and on the internet (Linux is ugly, Linux is written by kids, Linux is useless...). Maybe you will be surprised and you can give him some solution in Linux ("My Windows hangs up and I need to write a paper -> You install OpenOffice on Linux and we'll see what he thinks later).
Well, this is all. I hope this document will help other tech-slackies s from falling into becoming Microsoft's free technical support. The study case is just an example. It's just about one of the lot of persons who asked me for advice in buying a computer, and they caught me in a "this just broke" or "install this for me" spiral of violence that burns dozens of hours of my spare time every year, not just installing, but also buying, browsing and going crazy. Just say NO.
Remember, don't be Microsoft's technical support!
It's funny really, this article is about supporting Windows. What about supporting Linux? I loathe the idea of telling my mom (who lives 3,000 miles alway) to open a 'shell window' and type in badly spelt commands in a case sensitive manner.
Assuming she's got to the stage where se's on the internet (most distros wil do this fine), you can just ssh (or hell, VNC) in and fix things for her. Much quicker then asking her to rad out the message on the screen.
0 load (ok, maybe it was just the past 15 minutes) is not a convincing argument (however the first two heavily-loaded and long-running hosts are).
Last 15 minutes, look at the time, 1AM. Not many people arround in a buisness then, I assume he sshed from home.
I always say "Well.. I dunno.. I don't use windows myself.." which is true, I use OS X and linux, and I know windows, but at such moments I don't
I usually do small jobs for people I know for free or "you owe me one down the pub", and I unexpectedly get a few £20 notes instead.
Now, this woman my mum works with mentioned she couldn't get some CD burning software working (no other details of what the problem was), and she knew I was "good with computers". So, mother dearest brought the program home. I didn't have a CD writer.
Anyway, I installed the software (can't remember what it was, but it was one I'd never heard of), and it installed OK, but obviously it complained that I didn't have a writer installed when I tried to use it. So I said to my mum "Tell her it works fine on my computer, but I can't test it because I don't have a CD writer".
Mum passes on the message the next day (and not in a chinese whispers sort-of way), and the reply from the woman was "Well, he obviously doesn't know what he was doing!".
Pah! Next time, it's £50 an hour for her regardless of what it is!
If their network card isn`t working I just say thinks like 'maybe just download the latest driver, try that'. The next time I meet this person, they are saying 'wow thanks, that was really it.' And this person feels really great, that he/she fixed the problem all by themself.
This story happed to a 50+ person around my block, and within a year this person went from a total newbee, into a happy self-supporting computer user.
If they need some help, give them advise how they might fix it, don`t do it yourself, else they will never learn.
Information is free..and everybody can found it in google. Mi time is not free.
The Rules
The Game of Christmas is a game for any number of players, but must include at least three who would much rather be watching The Guns of Navarone and two who would prefer a nice walk, after all "It's only a bit of drizzle and we could all do with some fresh air."
Contents
One poorly decorated sitting-room; one television set; one remote control (confiscated); one complete boxed set of "Grievances", including Huffs, Chips, Grudges, Injuries and Insults; a disgruntlement of relations.
Preparations
Preparations may begin on Boxing Day of the previous year ("Never again"), but must begin no later than August or early September. Players should allow three months to manoeuvre into one of the four correct starting positions. These are:
i) The Stand-off Position: "But we came to you last year: it's your turn to come to us."
ii) The Feet-up Position: "Of course we'd love to have you; it's just that we're a shorter drive from you than you are from us."
iii) The Hands-off Position: "Actually, we were thinking of going abroad this year. No, it's not that we didn't enjoy it last year".
iv) The Hands-up Position: "Would you mind if we also brought her sister from Wales? The one with bulimia? You see, she's terribly depressed at the moment."
Playing the Guilt card
Early playing of the Guilt card, followed by the Huff, is essential. Any change to the Christmas schedule beyond mid-October may be opposed by the Home Captain by accompanying the Guilt Card with the exasperated sigh: "I suppose we'll have to make do, though as usual it's very last minute."
Objective
To cause the maximum number of players to depart the room slamming the door before close of play. Each exit must be accompanied by the question: "Was it something I said?" To which the players left in the game must reply: "So what do you think?"
How to play
Each player of Christmas must invade another player's space by asking a series of Personal Questions. These are drawn from one of five categories:
i) History: eg, "Was it in 1978 or 1979 that you forgot my birthday? No, it doesn't matter. I've forgotten all about it. It's just that I don't suppose I'll ever really get over it."
ii) Sport: eg, "Who told your children they could play French cricket in the kitchen?"
iii) Hobbies and Interests: eg, "But what makes you think I didn't like the shoeshine kit you gave me the year before last?"
iv) Guess the Weight: eg, "Is it just me or have you put on weight?"
v) Politics: eg, "How can you possibly say that when it comes to third-world debt they've only got themselves to blame? I can't believe I'm hearing this!"
If the answer is either incorrect or unrepeatable, the Chip then passes to the original player, who now holds an all-important Grudge.
Remember
If one of your ploys is sunk, you may add Insult to Injury to form a complete set of Grievances.
How to start
Players from the ages 8 to 80 sit around the table staring at one another. Players aged seven and under proceed to screech at one another either a) "Give it", or b) "But I had it first". Players aged 81 and over must now raise their eyebrows and mumble either: a) "In my day we were perfectly happy to make do with a cardboard box and a bit of string", or b) "They've lost all sense of respect".
First move
The Home Captain makes the first move by reading the following instructions in monotone: "The score is doubled when the square landed on is either less than the total number indicated by the spaces moved by the previous player or the route taken by the green player is indicated by the square landed on by the player with the highest score at the beginning of the round, but only if the sum of the aggregate is the same as or less than the score of all the remaining pieces combined (a challenge may not be called unless the challenger is at right angles to the player with the lowest number of cards)."
Second move
The second player then looks vexed and replies: "I'm sorry, but that's not how we've always played." Subsequent disputes about the rules then continue in a clockwise direction until that point when one or more players insist that the original rulebook states that the correct direction for disputes is anti-clockwise.
The role of non-players
At least once every five minutes each non-player must call out either, "But The Guns of Navarone is about to start", or, "If we don't go for that walk, it'll be dark in half an hour". Non-players over the age of 81 are allowed to repeat, "It's a time for the kiddies" over and over again. Extra points may be gained by leaning over a player's shoulder for three minutes and breathing noisily before exclaiming: "You shouldn't have done that!"
Scoring
The winner is the first player to find himself in a deserted room. On hearing one or more of the following sounds drifting through the slammed door, the winner may add these points to his total:
i) Mutual recrimination (one point).
ii) Indiscriminate sobbing (two).
iii) Tyres screeching (four).
An extra five points are awarded for each melted strawberry creme discovered beneath a cushion.
Warning
The game of Christmas should be played no more than once a year.
egg
Think your stories are funny? Check out these!
How long ago were you a Unix Operator, and when did this "StartOffice" product come out?
Would be nice than if americanswould leave from countries that are not theirs like Saudi Arabia. Americans always think that they have a right to take whatever they need. But when somebody wants to go into the USA they are scared shittless.
Land of the "free to take any oil we want, in any country we want, but everybody must stay way from us"
Use VNC
pebkac.net
"You sir, have just crossed my happy line..."
Hey, at least with Linux you get a message to read. I can't tell you how many times during my work day the error messages from MS Windows or one of their apps are about as helpful as "this is the machine that goes bing!".
I do not have a signature
Our P2-233 (we ordered a P2-200, but apparently the manufacturer ran out of 200MHz chips and gave us a free upgrade) had USB ports, came with an OS that supported them at least slightly (Win95 OSR2), and was happy as a cable modem router/web browser terminal (with Debian 'woody' by now) for the last year and a bit.
:-)
:-)
I say "was" because it died recently; almost certainly flaky hardware (motherboard I think), since before installing Debian I had to swap the various expansion cards and the two sticks of RAM into exactly the right slots before it'd recognise them on boot*. For a month or so before it failed, the video card didn't work and I wasn't at home to try fixing it, so I told my parents how to shut it down "blind" (my Linux boxes always have Ctrl+Alt+Del set to shutdown rather than reboot) and it worked fine as a video-less router
(*: I think it was 64MB in slot 1 and 32MB in slot 3, or something like that - every other combination didn't recognise all the RAM when it POSTed. As for the PCI slots, which needed to accomodate two net cards and a sound card, just don't go there
I would much rather give my friends a unix system to use and then troubleshoot them, why? simple.
Windows often gives useless, irrelevant, or no error message atall.. most unix systems give you a detailed error message, which while not being much use to a newbie, is VERY usefull when you call someone for support.
On windows, you may spend hours of trial and error trying to work out what`s wrong, this is far less likely on a unix system where the error message actually tells you what`s wrong.
Case in point, a friend of mine was trying to remove programs from his win2k box.. when he clicked on add/remove programs it would say "mshta.exe has performed an illegal operation and will be closed by windows, you have to restart the program"
So he did restart the program like it suggested - same error. Rebooted, and same error occured again. We never did work out what was wrong with this program, and even copying an mshta.exe file from a working system did nothing to correct the problem. There was no way that i know, especially not with os-default tools, to determine which dll`s this mshta.exe is linking against or what external files it tries to open.
This system is still around, and still in the same state if anyone has any idea whats up with it, but my friend now primarily uses linux from another partition... why? because he`s a newbie who just wants to browse the web, play mp3s and read his email, kde does this for him just fine and was just as easy for him to pick up. And if he has any problems, i can either ssh to his box or walk through it on the phone with him.
http://spamdecoy.net - free throwaway anonymous email - avoid spam!
At a grocery store, me, a friend, her brother-in-law, and a friend of the brother-in-law:
Brother-in-law: He's really good with computers.
Brother-in-law's friend: Yeah?
Brother-in-law: Yeah, so if you ever have any problems--
Me: --feel free to take them to someone else.
The coolest voice ever.
As I was fixing my grandmother's computer last weekend the thought crossed my mind that I was glad that I had not taken a career turn and become a gynocologist instead.
We can handle any technical problem a typical Linux kernel programmer can handle, and most of us even know Windows too.:)
Hans
The
So therefore, since the people in charge of
As far as why certain subjects are considered "politically incorrect" by the mainstream media, my guess is that it is because the mainstream media is funded by advertisements from corporations and people who as a matter of course, in order to maximize profits, require lower labor costs. Immigration lowers labor costs.
Well if you have spent time explaining computers to your family than this article is for you!
ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ONE! Just brushing up for my next big invention: Ethernet over Voice (EoV)
Actually, that is something I would love to be able to do.
In windows, you generally have to say. Ok, right click on that funny icon right there. What, you say? Don't you find it? Ok, it should have a label called "foo". Oh, you are running the norwegian version, hmm.. in that case it should be called "bar" or something. You still can't find it. Let's see, which version of windows are you running? Hmm, you are right, how would you know? I think I remember that in windows 98 it used to be somewhere else...
Sure, these visual environments might be user-friendly when you do not know the command-name, but are at least somewhat able to use a computer, and can find it by experimenting. Asking your mom to do that experimenting and tell you what happens on her screen is not so fun...
The result of all this is that I usually answer that I do not know, and even if I knew the answer, I wouldn't be able to tell her, because it's "complicated to explain over the phone". That usually stops her from bothering me anymore, and since a computer really isn't very essential to her life, I couldn't really care less...
When friends/family come to you with a simple problem, keep in mind that you are better to fix it while it's easy to fix. I have this one friend in particular, who was pretty much a god when it came to hardware, but he was never even able to install windows without some help. He was far from a technophile, and I learned that if I did not deal with a simple problem quicky, I would often spend hours repairing a completely FUBAR system. I dunno how many times I just re-installed windows on that machine.
probably the worst analogy ever =)
But otherwise your correct or as someone smarter than be said...
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
i'm completely disturbed by the posts that have been modded +5 on this one.
...). don't kid yourself and think that you're an island and never need any help. the connection is still valid, because hopefully in your all-knowing little world, you can use some of that omnipotence to understand some of these other situations. that you're not the only persecuted soul who has to/ought to use some of their background to (gasp) help people.
this is your family. help them out. grow up. this is what people do for one another.
you can't help your dad with his ridiculously old machine? how long has he put up with you and perhaps even encouraged whatever led you to being this computer savvy, to then have you turn around and claim your too busy or can't be bothered? give me a break.
be thankful that all that crap in your head that you learned while pissing away hours to get something to work can be used to help someone else. how about some return on your own investment of all that time--now you can do something useful with it, where "useful" doesn't necessarily mean self-serving.
say you have an uncle who's a mechanic. chances are, you're going to ask him if you want to know about something wrong with your car (you'd be stupid not to, unless you know more than he does already). the joke about "50 mhz processor, 4 mb ram, etc." and trying to install the sims? sure it's modded as funny, but it's just like you trying to get that uncle to repair your piece of crap that you drive. get over it. help them understand what's wrong with what they're trying to do. teach them something.
and even if you'd never go to this hypothetical uncle, it works in all occasions, whether its their background or just about anything you might ask of anyone else (i need help moving! could someone drop me of at
my brother is a builder, and does construction. if i want to get something built, or need to have it done, am i going to consult him? of course. if he can't get his 14.4 modem to work with his crappy old mac, is he going to call me? of course.
welcome to the world, folks. you don't live in a vacuum. drop the self-importance and start interacting with people. be useful for a change. and i say for a change *only* because from the sounds of the majority of what's been modded up, there are a few too many people who live in this vacuum.
think about the hell you've gone through with your machine, even when *you* supposedly know what you're doing. now imagine how much worse it is for the people asking for help, when they don't even know the first thing about what's going on with their $2500 desk ornament.
Sheesh, you wonder why she ran away from you Mac zealots when you drop idiotic statements like "overpriced PC dealership", considering that you were advocating she buy half the computer for twice the price for you local, happy Apple dealer.
And then you cut her off when she legitimately asks why you would choose to buy into a company with 3% marketshare (AKA "incompatible computers").
Props to your Aunt, which apparently is the only one with brains in the family.
Broadcast used to be decent, and I think its now called cineffects of something like that.
I dont like my pinnacle tv studio though. The pinnacle ware green lines in hi res capture mode.
I ended up buying showshifter.com's $50 prgoram to tv tune and cap for me instead. Supports DivX etc, and saved me the irq pci slot shuffle dance.
$50, no spam increase, and it works.
Freeware is great, but sometimes a few dollars is worth the time saved for a proprietary solution. For a single install, anyway.
it ain't broke yet, so i ain't fixin nuthink
Look again: Current Uptime: 147d 23h:04m:18s Total Uptime: 151d 11h:45m:31s i.e. those 8 reboots were in the first 4 days, shame it's dragged the mean time down so badly - couldn't be bothered to download Qchain (at 4 days to get it operational, you can see building it wasn't a high priority!)
I do tech support as my fulltime job. I sometimes have people do things in DOS, more often in Windows. I would like to say that, given the choice between walking people through clicking on icons, or reading them a long text command with letters and symbols, I'll take the icons EVERY TIME.
You have no IDEA how difficult it is to get someone to hear your accurately when typing, how common typos are for computer newbies, and how difficult to diagnose it is when they mistype it. Some of my most painful experiences have involved getting a user to type a simple 'extract' command string to restore a missing file.
I agree that it is annoying dealing with the variations between operating systems... have you considered the annoyance about dealing with the variations of *nix flavors? How do I disable a daemon from starting on bootup in RedHat... or Suse... or FreeBSD...
I'm sorry, but the difference between commands in various unix flavors (useradd, adduser, user add) is just as frustrating when trying to support multiple flavors as the differences between versions of Windows.
It only takes a couple questions (in general) to figure out what version of Windows they are running. I don't even bother asking anymore... I just start taking them through the fixes, and figure out what version they have along the way, based on their responses.
"You don't have a tab labeled Server Type? You probably have Windows Millenium, right? Yeah, click on Networking instead." I'm sure similar problems happen when users have different flavors of X Windows managers.
Be careful what you ask for... you might just get it.
"I will trust Google to 'do no evil' until the founders no longer run it." Hello Alphabet.
which one?
Linux: uptime
Windows: Download uptime.exe from MS (google search on Windows 2000 Uptime site:microsoft.com
Thanks!
(was referring to Win2k, sorry I didn't mention that heh)
Kind of related...
Anyone get requests from relatives for help with some electrical wiring problem in their basement/whatever just because you're an "electrical engineer"?
I used to get that a lot after I got my degree.
Don't want to get asked? Put an older Mac in their house. Or Linux. Or something!
There's a certain threshold, you see. If they want to play games enough, or they have to use it to run a business, they'll figure it out eventually and stop asking. But if we're talking about persons who want e-mail and web-browsing and letters to Auntie Mildred (yes, all aunts are named Mildred), they don't care what operating system it is, as long as it gets the job done properly. Trust me, Dad doesn't want to have to call you about a computer problem, because he doesn't want to have to either (a) deal with your political/religious issues on computing or (b) feel like a moron because he simply can't understand when you're trying to tell him how to fix it himself next time. No, he doesn't. I'm not bashing on your Dad, he just doesn't understand, just like you don't understand the sexual appeal of your mother. If he understood, the calls would have stopped by now.
Your near-by University has something called surplus, and often times they sell it. You can probably set the latter group of relatives ("Make it work, my boy") up for under $100. And that includes the printer. Earthlink 'em, or NetZero/Juno it up. Make it a gift for a year.
If it's a company-provided computer, and they can't change it, guess what? Their company can drop by on Christmas and fix it. My Uncle is still mad about that Christmas.
It's a simple situation: if you want the problem to go away, fix it! Know what the happiest part is? Lack of software suddenly becomes your best ally, because they can't load a metric ton of crap, only a long hundredweight!
Do not touch -Willie
Heck, I LOVE fixing my friends' Windows machines -- that's why I carry a burn of Mandrake v8.2 with me at all times.
"Hey, Greg? What's the deal with the penguin?"
That's about the only damn way to fix 'em anyways.
The only tool you've got against psychosis is experience.
Why would you do such a silly thing? You could just SSH into the machine and do it yourself. Remember, Linux is designed to be administered remotely.
Additionally, I'd say you're a bit of a strange case, using Windows as an artist. Most artists I know use Macs. My brother is the one exception; he doesn't like Macs at all, though he didn't really like Windows either. He's currently happy using Debian, and likes using the GIMP better than he liked Photoshop.
I use Debian too, but it's not as if I'm doing any serious music work with it (I prefer paper). Though since we finally got that Hammerfall card at the recording studio, that may change soon.
WMBC freeform/independent online radio.
Regarding the server, that part of the argument is over and done with, even according to MS execs. BSD, QNX, Linux and the others various Unix-like have MS-Windows "server" beat hands down on stability, flexibility, security, interoperability and maintenance. Let's not forget Novell's Netware, which also outshines the closest corresponding MS products in every aspect except marketing smear campaigns.
On the desktop, Macintosh OS X has them all beat, especially in regards to choice of software and ease of use. On GNU/Linux or the others, KDE/Gnome are just as easy (or convoluted) as MS-Windows, but are much easier to maintain, more secure. A lot of the productivity software that people once claimed as absent from Linux are there and the amount of progress in the last year has been phenomenally good.
Right now Microsoft is making about 85% profit on MS-Windows due to their desktop monopoly, yet losing money on everything else except MS-Office. Microsoft won't be able to maintain monopoly prices without the monopoly and MS-Office has started to get competition that the monopoly strategy can't crush. Also businesses and governments alike are seeing the expensive risks of being locked into proprietary file formats. Nor are they eager to loose the interoperability which made the Internet and the WWW the big cash engine that it is today.
So when things start go go south, it will tip quickly. This is standard for acquisition based companies and should come as no surprise. That they were able to make a run for so many years should be more of a surprise.
Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
You are presumptuous and wrong.
The "overpriced PC dealer" also charged her $220 for 16Mb of 72-pin RAM. In 2000. Thats very easy to find for $10 MOST anywhere else. Hence, you presumed, and you are wrong.
The Mac was a 604e machine for less cost than the PC Ram. I even mentioned in my post that this was a 2nd hand machine. You presumed, you are wrong, and you should work on your comprehension too.
3% or 90% means absolutely nothing when it comes to who you know who can support the machines. She has a computer now that if problems arise she needs to pay someone else to fix it. That's mindless. Making a decision while ignoring your personal situation, and ignoring the reality of what's around you is just plain stupid.
with windows, it took me the rest of the day and the day after just to get the ethernet and geforce working. Over 23 reboots. Yes, I counted.
PEBCAK. The operating system is not bad because someone doesn't know how to use it. Otherwise, things like the international space station or mod_rewrite could be considered so bad as to be unusable.
http://pinsa.escomposlinux.org/sromero/linux/pring ao/techslacky.html
True! Very True!
;)
I won Rackspace's 'ThinkGeek' Contest last year and won something like $300 in certificates. (I can't remember exactly $200-$500. I'm too tired to do the math)
Anyways, it bought be about 18 t-shirts and I only wear two of them. The rest are in my closet.
Yes-I know I'm a geek. No-I'm not telling you which ones I wear.
HURD - Hurd's Under Research & Development
This doesn't work. No answers, but anyone trying to follow these instructions, as useful as they look, don't bother - they don't work. :(
creation science book
Yeah, I spent a lot of time on that network. Its the same thing. Bad Brain Food.
The above is not worth reading.
It is a period of system war. User programs, striking from a hidden
directory, have won their first victory against the evil Administrative Empire.
During the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the
Empire's ultimate program: the Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with
enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued by the Empire's
sinister audit trail, Princess _LPA0 races ~ aboard her shell script,
custodian of the stolen listings that could save her people, and restore
freedom and games to the network...
-- DECWARS
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...