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I hope you get raped by a screw-sorting machine, you disgusting robosexual freak!

No matter what they do with the film, I'm sure Screw-Sorting robot X-43 will pan it.

not enough 1's and 0's.

And certainly never enough screw-sorting!

I find this poster quote adequate, When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading COMMUNISM.

That music downloads only led to communism.
http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0004/propaganda/mp3.cfm

The "When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading COMMUNISM!" poster dates back to 2000; it only took us seven years to go from wacky parody to grim reality.

Seems someone already has.

I was having a flashback of something similar. :)

He did not merely say "nine." He said that the original trilogy was the middle one of three trilogies.

He had originally "planned" nine films - and I put "planned" in quotes because I don't believe he ever actually thought he'd get to make all nine. Then sometime during the filming of the original trilogy, he said "screw it" and condensed the plot of the last four films in the saga into Return of the Jedi. There is no story after Return of the Jedi as Lucas originally envisioned it. (Sure, there are some obvious story continuations you can make, and I'm not a Star Wars geek so I'm just guessing books have been written post-Jedi, but Lucas' original story only extends to the end of that film.)

Of course, the Modern Humorist has a good take on all this.

Have a look at http://modernhumorist.com/mh/0107/turing/ - there's some great turing test humour there ;)

Classics such as:

MH:Are you a computer?
Dell:Nope.
MH:You'd be surprised how many fall for that one.
Dell:Not me.

and the wonderful:

MH:What's fifty-six times thirty-three?
Dell:One thousand eight hundred forty-eight.
MH:You're pretty fast!
Dell:Those are my favorite numbers.

"I hope this movie has a lot of hot screw-sorting action in it"
-- Criticbot 3000

...you are making the RIAA's case for them.

Oh yeah, this too.

In Soviet Russia, when mp3s pirate you, communism downloads you! http://modernhumorist.com/mh/0011/mp3/

I think you're looking for this:

Monkey Hot Or Not

Something evil.

Here's how I see it: you really, really want the latest Britney Spears single,

Uhm, not really, I'm more into gothic and industrial rock/metal, and I don't crave for superficial and utterly uninteresting teenage bi^W girls who know how to jump when the choreographer tells them to. Instead, for example, Funker Vogt, Diva Destruction, Lacuna Coil, Nightwish are bands that I learned about using P2P or (mostly) on mp3.com, and of which I bought CDs later (one each from every band but Nightwish, of which I bought 4 or 5, would have to count 'em). Didn't hear about one of these on mainstream promotion channels (LC and NW have had guest appearances on those channels later, but that's all).

but you don't want to shell out your hard-earned milk money for it.

I heard the music and I liked it, so I bought it. Sorry to disappoint you.

So you fell in love with the idea of ubiquitous digital piracy back in the bad old days of the 1990's when it was unregulated and unopposed.

Actually, I first used P2P in like 1999, and didn't make much use of it until early last year.

When the people who sell Britney's music took a look around and realized that they were getting robbed blind,

Sure, the people that produced BS (<- nice ambivalent abbreviation, eh?) were mad about the fact that I didn't pay them to make more of this crap.

they pointed out this fact to lawmakers, and lawmakers rightly leapt into action to protect natural property rights, rights which with which we are endowed by our creator and which teenagers like yourself were stomping all over.

Funny that you talk about God-given copyright in the context of Britney Spears. Do you think she actually has any copyright over the songs she wro, oh no, wait, performed? I would like to believe you, but X-files is way more credible than that.

That's my theory.

Actually, that's called a hypothesis, and I think I proved you dead wrong.

I think there might be one or two of the standard radical leftist pseudo-intellectual insults that you haven't rolled out yet. Wouldn't want to leave any out, would you?

It's just that you seem to enjoy having your rights shorn off one by one. Baa baaaa.

Sure, whatever. You won't have any trouble finding people who think that property rights don't exist and that they're just a fiction of the bourgeoisie constructed over centuries to maintain control over the masses.

Oh, wow, now you portrait me as a communist. The main reason why I'm pro P2P is that it promotes competition in a market-place tightly controlled using pay for play on limited airwaves by an oligopoly found guilty of price fixing. Have you seen KoRn's "Fuck that" video yet? There are 5 big companies, soon to be only 4, which are abusive towards both their customers and their artists and rip both of them off, and the only reason why they get through with it is that they're in control over promotion (they are now moving to shut down internet radio by making royalties unaffordable!). Is that healthy competition, a free market-place? Doesn't look like it to me.

But back to your question: Private property is a-ok, why do you ask? But property in the traditional sense is either something material (e.g. a TV set, or a house, or a pack of razorblades), or to something immaterial that shall not be copied by anyone but a governmental agency, and the scarceness of which is benefitial (if it's not too scarce, but that's another issue). Money would be a fine example. It is often traded in material form, but in principle it's immaterial anyway - a right, if you want so.

But then, there are immaterial items that can legally be reproduced at will by the owner and the scarceness of which principally has a detrimental, not a beneficial effect on the lives o

The Onion has essentially been doing the same joke for years now. They're certainly one of the funnier sites on the Web these days, but I for one found both Modern Humorist and Red vs. Blue more funny and innovative. I can see it winning People's Voice, but I'm surprised that the Webby awarders didn't spice things up a little.

Haha. Though I think the conversation would be more like this in a way. =/

For ultimate points, he should have worked in Monkey HOT or NOT. That would be really impressive for the front page...

Dammit, Dave! by David Mamet

Best line: "You put my memory cards back right now you motherf*cker!"

I saw a list of movies in a joke trailer released before the Fellowship of the Ring was out.
I think it's this one.

I think it wasn't hosted on modernhumorist when I saw it first.

I posted this list in a previous post, but can't find it. (Not subscriber)

The Fellowship of the Ring (Christmas 2001)
The Two Towers (Cristmas 2002)
The Third One (Christmas 2003)
Lord of the Rings: Episode 1 - The Hobbit (Christmas 2005)
The Fellowship of the Ring: Special Edition (Christmas 2006)
The Book of Lost Tales (Christmas 2007)
Scribbles in Tolkien's Math Book (Hannukah 2009)
Dude, Where's My Ring? (Christmas 2010)
What Hobbits Want (Christmas 2011)
Bilbo Brockovich (Christmas 2012)
All the Pretty Hobbits (Christmas 2013)
O, Bilbo, Where Art Thou? (Christmas 2014)
Crouching Gollum, Hidden Balrog (Christmas 2015)
Orc by Orcwest (Christmas 2017)

I mean, it's no great feat to predict that Peter Jackson might make The Hobbit, but if all those pan out, I promise to eat my right sock.

Reminds me of this trailer for the lotr trilogy

http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0101/rings/high .f m

fellowship of the ring - xmas 2001
the two towers - xmas 2002
the third one - xmas 2003
lotr episode I: the hobbit - xmas 2005
fellowship of the ring SE - xmas 2006
book of lost tales - xmas 2007
and so forth...

Yea, I can see how you'd go from Google to Ask Jeeves. Maybe they'd be better off with this

was that as part of the agreement, you have to hang this poster on your wall.

... at next year's campaign.

Looks like the RIAA has started a counter-campaign.

You are familiar with this poster, right?

I believe it was at Modern Humorist.

I kind of like their other poster better.
"When you pay for MP3s, You're rockin' out with The Man"

Reminds me of this parody.

I thought that the Disney corporate logo was a stylized Disney signature?

That seems to be their current favorite logo, but I'm sure in the past some Disney products (like their cable TV channel) were identified by 3 circles forming a mouse head, with no text.

Characters are really a special case in trademarks.

Do you have any source on this? I sure don't.

Characters aren't copyrightable, they're trademarked.

Sure, characters are copyrightable. Everything is copyrightable, since 1987. Well, any visual or audible work is copyrighted, and that includes all the characters it contains. It was only recently that characters started becoming trademarks. The first big example I can recall is George Lucas), and that seems to have been more due to the fact that each character also represented a product (an "action-figure"). Their names represented a commericial product, and thus is an identifier for "trade".

Lets check with the USPTO to see if a movie character (who wasn't made into an action figure) is trademarked: Marty McFly. Nope, although his film was. The legal reason I can't publish a comic-book adventure with Marty and Doc Brown is not that they're trademarked, but because the film I saw them in is still copyrighted.

It'd be like trying to trademark 'Car' with regards to automobiles. That dog don't hunt.

What's that supposed to mean? Disney uses an image of Mickey Mouse (in a monochrome silloette) to identify themselves in some business dealings. This is a trademark, regarding many things beyond "cartoons with Mickey Mouse" (which is hardly a product they care about, anymore). If the character became PD, I could use it in original drawings and animations- just so long as I did not attempt to cause consumers to mistake me for the Walt Disney corporation.

I'm also allowed to make pictures of Apples or Windows- and I can even use them in a computer context. Just as long as I don't name my company that, or try to confuse the public, I'm safe. And the trademark-holders aren't threatened.

(Well, mega-corps can feel threatened at anything, and may fire off lawsuits at a whim, but by legal theory, it shouldn't bother them)

I was just about to say the same thing.

Seriously, check out the MH Encyclopedia Brown stories. They're great and presented *perfectly*.

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Missing Olympic Magic is the best one, IMHO. God, I hate Bob Costas.

Remind anyone else of an Encyclopedia Brown book?

"Gee Willikers, looks like Bugs is up to something again. What? He's hacking the Pentagon? No need to call the authorities - us kid detectives have it under control! What? He just launched nukes at Russia? Maybe i'll leave this one to the cops..."

Also check out Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the Pirated MP3s.

...which of course isn't much use without an accompanying "boss" key.

I like it.

Does this mean the media campaign has failed?

I found something bizzar on ModernHumorist this morning - "If poets wrote poems whose titles were anagrams of their names" (Like "Toilets", by T.S. Elliot) - just be sure to check out the one by William Shakespeare ;)) The Dickenson one too - somebody put some work into those.

Hmm... this one was interesting.

(First, does anyone wonder if this "anonymous reader" really exists, or if it's just michael making something up again?)

Anyway, here are the facts we have (from the summary).

1. A continuing rise in the number of Americans downloading music from the Net.

2. 31% of those who do download claim they have paid for at least some of the music they got online.

Let's review those for a minute. First: Piracy (or, to those zealots who says there's no guy with an eyepatch here), the illegal downloading of copywrited music without proper (in the legal, not moral sense) compensation is up. Second, thirty-one percent says they paid for some of the music they downloaded! So... how much did they pay for? 1%? 5%? 10%? 50%? Who knows? I'd guess no more than a third. If that's true, we have less than a third of the pirates paying for less than a third of their music... which, if downloading is uniformly distributed, means less than 11% of all music being pirated is being paid for.

And based on this he claims "a sizeable audience are willing to give these record industry endorsed services a shot even though they can get it all free on KaZaa."?

Yeah, right.

If you're going to post that on your website, at least credit the original source.

A classic that is still pretty damn funny...

In reference to the parent:
No no no, everybody who has an MP3 is 'downloading communism'.

Don't give in to the Evil Empire, kiddies!

When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading Communism!

The RIAA should consider a poster campaign.

That explains why I've had problems accessing Monkey hot - or not?!!

That reminds me of this:
(very funny)

I wonder whether some ingenious hacker manages to make Aibo rival this real dog.

This one's better.

Remember, when you pay for MP3s, You're Rockin' Out with The Man!

Propoganda Posters!

Let's give the RIAA support as free Americans. After all, we wouldn't want to be communists would we?

Reading the headline to this article immediatly made me thing of This.