Slashdot Mirror

I offer this review as a counter to yours.

That icon with the Mozilla critter behind the N, I was reminded a little of this.

can be found here.

Current events, put into terms that /. readers will be comfortable with: The Ultimate War Sim

Better graphics and better physics don't make a game great. Better design does.
While developers continue to fail understand this simple fact, the games market will be shrinking .
More imagination, less fireworks.

...by the esteemed David Wong. Warning: some of these stories will be quite possibly the stupidest thing you'll ever read.

David Wong predicts! Said article.

The next level of entertainment has always been content. "The medium is the message." If what you deliver on the new medium is content meant for an older one, your device won't survive.

Convenience only goes so far. Specific content that exploits the medium is what drives an entertainment device into mass consciousness.

Film technology spawned the art of film, TV spawned the art of television, consoles and computers spawned the art of video games.

What can any of these new devices offer us in terms of cultural identity? Not much.

8 Things You Didn't Know About Return of the King

Quoted from the George Lucas Interview:

Q: Ahem. Yes. I suppose you did have that at the end, but for the bulk of the film you have to admit it did seem aimed toward a younger demographic...

A: Yes. It's much like a trap, you see. I lure them in with the cute creatures and bright colors. Here, little girl. Look at the funny alien with his floppy ears! Look at the cute little boy in his rocket car! Then BAM!! Look at the charred bodies! LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT THE BLACK CARNIVAL OF HORROR YOU WERE BORN INTO!!! You can stop crying now, little girl. For today, you have become a man.

Q: Soooooo..... um, following that track, I have heard other critics say the opposite, that your films feature too much clean, casual killing. I personally think that's an empty criticism. It's logical that if you're making films about an interstellar war, you must show the unfortunate results in terms of lost lives and...

A: Not really. I just get a pure, almost sexual thrill from depicting death. Death and I are old lovers. We shall meet again some day, in an eternal embrace. Soon.

He pauses to take a long drag off his cigarette.

Oh, if only I had died in the womb.

8 Things You Didn't Know About Return of the King

Quoted from the George Lucas Interview:

Q: Ahem. Yes. I suppose you did have that at the end, but for the bulk of the film you have to admit it did seem aimed toward a younger demographic...

A: Yes. It's much like a trap, you see. I lure them in with the cute creatures and bright colors. Here, little girl. Look at the funny alien with his floppy ears! Look at the cute little boy in his rocket car! Then BAM!! Look at the charred bodies! LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT THE BLACK CARNIVAL OF HORROR YOU WERE BORN INTO!!! You can stop crying now, little girl. For today, you have become a man.

Q: Soooooo..... um, following that track, I have heard other critics say the opposite, that your films feature too much clean, casual killing. I personally think that's an empty criticism. It's logical that if you're making films about an interstellar war, you must show the unfortunate results in terms of lost lives and...

A: Not really. I just get a pure, almost sexual thrill from depicting death. Death and I are old lovers. We shall meet again some day, in an eternal embrace. Soon.

He pauses to take a long drag off his cigarette.

Oh, if only I had died in the womb.

This is from the same guy that claims there is no Saddam Hussein:)

I have to say, the best part of that article was the bizarre collection of creative insults he wove in:

Captain Anus
dick holster
Turd Baron

and my favorite:

rancid sentient ham statue

And you gotta love the illustrations, too.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/cwarshea d.jpg

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/penisgra ph.gif

I have to say, the best part of that article was the bizarre collection of creative insults he wove in:

Captain Anus
dick holster
Turd Baron

and my favorite:

rancid sentient ham statue

And you gotta love the illustrations, too.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/cwarshea d.jpg

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/penisgra ph.gif

So stop getting all of your collective panties in a wad. PWOT is kind of like theonion.com, but less about news, and more about satirical articles. I'm not quite sure why it was even posted to slashdot. You read PWOT to laugh at stupidity, not for video game news.

Now... Go Go Gadget cocaine shooter! Now... Go Go Gadget cocaine shooter!
If you read all the craption contests, you would understand :)

doesn't matter folks. the whole industry is stagnant and going nowhere. you will all bear witness to the great video game crash. you've been warned

It's not the violence that will screw the video game industry. It's the reliance on shock (and the gee-whiz factor) to keep business going that will burn out:

"Will we line up for Grand Theft Auto 5 if it's the exact same thing, only with prettier texture-mapped bruises on the whores? What's the difference?"

Maybe Nintendo was on the right side of the whole Mortal Kombat thing...

You know, This one?
Penny-Arcade has all the rebuttal that needs to be said on that topic.

btw: I think that infographic was already published in USA today. What, the perceived penis size one?

"Nintendo is kiddie!!!1"

"Teh Xbox is big!!!1"

"Sony liek hype!!!1"

A shame they didn't think of evaluating the ACTUAL GAMES available for each of the machines, or how they've performed commercially in the three main territories. Or failing that, tried to be funny.

At least the domain name was accurate.

The only thing I was wondering about was whether the vulgarity was a natural part of the culture of that web site, or if it was just an attention grabbing mechanism.

I guess this clears it up.

One of those gamecubes?

Check out Microsoft's boobs! I had always heard Bill Gates was a giant boob, but I didn't believe it until now.

One pa-packet, two pa-packet, three pa-packet, four...

All this is only true if you abuse yourself by eating the Elmer's Glue-derived paste misleadingly called Ramen Noodles by companies like Top Ramen or the too-aptly-named Smack Ramen.

In college in the 80s, I was introduced to real ramen noodles by some Malaysian friends. They invited me to their apartment and fixed the most wonderful dish, adding fresh vegetables and meat. But the base of the dish wasn't American-style paste-flavored ramen! They told me to check out the oriental food store, so I did.

Probably the most accessible brand for US folks is Sapporo Ichiban, from Japan. I can't find an English-language web site for the company, but this review sums it up pretty well. The packaging and instructions are in English, so it makes a good start. Although it seems to be available online, you can save the shipping costs by simply visiting your local Asian market, if you live in any large US city. (Side note: I also found Sapporo Ichiban at a convenience store in Corsicana, TX! Coming from the south, take Bus I-45.)

Once you've mastered Sapporo Ichiban, you will be ready for real adventure. Start with the SI brand noodles with mostly-Japanese text, then move to noodles from all over Asia with no English at all! I've found Vietnamese noodles to be way too fishy, but most everything else has been good. And the best of all is one I just found: a Malaysian brand of noodles that just might be the ones from that delicious dish from Oklahoma State University, long ago.

My friends also tried to teach me how to say some very vulgar things in Chinese... fortunately, that memory wasn't as enduring as the memory of those noodles.

This is not a joke any more. If you don't believe artists aren't hurt by file trading, look at one example from the article: Def Leppard. Here you have a band that faithfully preserved intellectual property by not even using the actual spelling of either word in their name.
The band was massively successful... until file trading became popular.

Where are they now? Bankrupt and derelict, their artistic skills moldering. Word is their drummer isn't half the drummer he once was.

If you come clean, the RIAA will be lenient. Go HERE and submit your name and a list of the files you have traded.

Your parents have raised you and fed you. They deserve better than to find themselves pinned to the kitchen linoleum with an RIAA jackboot on their neck.

Sometimes we just need to do without technology altogether. Pick up a hotdog and enjoy the game, don't worry about your wireless networking. I sure don't.

Sincerely,
Letter

...or at least that's the opinion of this guy, who makes a powerful, powerful, powerful point:

HERE

Besides, just imagine how many thousands of us have watched that Star Wars stickfighting kid's video without paying him a dime. Struggling performance artists like him deserve our financial support.

I've got a startling essay from a film expert who gets into some of the "deeper meaning" of the Matrix films, and trust me, it has nothing to do with spirituality:

50 Reasons to Avoid The Matrix

I don't agree with every point made, but I've heard from a lot of fans, and have seen a lot of changed minds. He's got a petition going, and I think Warner Bros. is in for a serious surprise when they get it.

In my 200-level physics class, I was constantly coming up with new "perpetual motion devices" for my teacher to shoot down. I understood full well that it was fundamentally impossible, but it's kind of nice to bash into your own preconceptions and watch them break.

Anyways, the most interesting things I came up with weren't perpetual motion devices per se. I came up with some ideas that sucked energy from Brownian motion in matter. I don't think anything like that has ever been fielded as a large-scale source of energy, and probably for good reason. But he seemed to agree that, when nanotech really improves, such devices are feasible.

I'm not taking credit for it. I'm sure there are similar ideas doodled in the notebooks of thousands of undergrads. I'm simply pointing out that, even though it was a pointless waste of time on one level, on another level it was a real eye-opener for me.

I give it my highest rating: Two stars.

WARNING! parent is a blantant ripoff of

50 Reasons why LORD OF THE RINGS sucks

Source is much funnier.

at this review.

George has lost his mind, adding Jar-Jar to Star Wars IV: A New Hope is like having Greedo shoot first.GEORGE HAS BEEN CRAZY FOR YEARS

PWOT has had their hands on
the script for years already!

you can see an amusingly edited version here

Check out the great Star Wars: Episode 2 Information Center at Pointless Waste of Time.

Be sure to check out the leaked script pages... they're off-the-hook. And while you're at it, ckeck out the rest of the site too.

(Didn't I make nearly the same post a couple days ago under a Matrix story?)

-Grant

Check out the great Star Wars: Episode 2 Information Center at Pointless Waste of Time.

Be sure to check out the leaked script pages... they're off-the-hook. And while you're at it, ckeck out the rest of the site too.

(Didn't I make nearly the same post a couple days ago under a Matrix story?)

-Grant

There's a really great Matrix 2 rumor site here. The leaked script pages are off-the-hook.

By the way, if you have time you should check out the rest of PointlessWasteOfTime.com

-Grant

(Yeah, this is similar to another post on this story. The other one is a reply in a thread, so probably no one will see it, so I posted it again as this new thread. Sue me.)

There's a really great Matrix 2 rumor site here. The leaked script pages are off-the-hook.

By the way, if you have time you should check out the rest of PointlessWasteOfTime.com

-Grant

(Yeah, this is similar to another post on this story. The other one is a reply in a thread, so probably no one will see it, so I posted it again as this new thread. Sue me.)

There's a really great Matrix 2 rumor site here. The leaked script pages are off-the-hook.

By the way, if you have time you should check out the rest of PointlessWasteOfTime.com

-Grant

There's a really great Matrix 2 rumor site here. The leaked script pages are off-the-hook.

By the way, if you have time you should check out the rest of PointlessWasteOfTime.com

-Grant

I'm starting to become convinced that Hollywood producers will never produce a worthwhile technical flick.

20 Years in the making means in all like-li-hood it's 20 years out of date. I'm not trolling here, it's just the way things work. You can work on a technological movie for as long as you want, but once you reach a certain time-frame you have to do one of the following.

1) Update all your information, and waste your footage. Making 20 years about as useful as 5.

2) Make your techno-movie only work in a certain time-line, ie: its a techno movie about technology from the past (not very likely) or:

3) The most common solution to producing a techno movie that meets the demands of artistic license and the motto, "make me money because Akira Kurosawa's dead now" is to make the movie (from the beginning) focus on vague, general idealogies inherent in Technology of one type or another. Movies of this nature, in a nutshell, suck.

If this movie is just another 'Data the pale Ensign' story, then its been done. It was done in Terminator back in the 80s. It was done by Gene Roddenbury... whatever, it's just old.

If this story is about technology, and where we are realistically headed, what we have to question about our research and what we do: Then the information is outdated, sure we could predict AI 20 years ago; but if what we knew of AI 20 years ago is the basis of the plot, then I for one have already seen that story. Either way we as consumers of Spielbergs Crap for the Masses are losers. David Wong on the other hand will probably give it a full two stars

...another comment from Michael Tandy.

The bizarre decision to include child versions of all of the original characters is what bothers me. In case you haven't heard, Boba Fett is apparently going to be in Episode 2 - as a child (that kid you see in the supposed storyboards is supposed to be little Boba).

Most of these characters were clearly supposed to be meeting for the first time in the original trilogy. C3PO, when he crash landed on tatooine gave no indication he had ever been there before... even though it turns out now that's his 'birthplace.'

All this makes the new films feel like a cheap spinoff of the original films, instead of an expanded look into the SW universe. Are we going to see a young Han Solo in this one? Lando as a toddler? A tadpole version of that little frog that Jabba ate in ROTJ?

Some of them are HERE.

It's nothing to get too worked up about. I think they're fakes anyway... which makes it fit right in with the rest of my site.

The good news is that here in the midwest tickets are $6.00 for evening shows and $4.00 for a matinee.

The bad news is that I live in the midwest.

In fact, I think if I was gonna pay $8.00 - $9.00 for a ticket the film had better be damned good. AS it is, you can't get too upset about a film you only paid $4.00 to see.

(okay, so I'm cheap)

It's also helpful to remember that the screenplay for this movie went through a BUNCH of rewrites.

As many as nine different screenwriters worked over scenes (including the Usual Suspects writer Christopher McQuarrie - surprised he didn't try to slap a surprise ending onto the thing). Point being, if it feels like something is missing, there are many, many stages where it could have been lost. Any time you hear about a script getting worked over that much you usually assume it is a bad movie. Here I think Singer overcame all of that, being the director that he is, and in two hours pieced together the world that the comic had years to build.

X-Men, or X-crement?

...The movie's already 1:40 long. I personally think 2:25 is wayyyyy too long for a superhero movie.

Remember, they intentionally went for a PG-13 rating to get the kids in there (yes, some comic book fans are children). You can't get kids to sit through a 2.5 hour movie, no matter how good the character deveopment is... so it wouldn't surprise me if Singer turned in a much longer cut and they made him trim it. And of course you cut the character/background stuff - and not those expensive effects sequences. That's just the way it works.

Actually, the studio spent about $70 million on the X-Men production, and another $30-40 million on promotion and other costs. That's the bad news for the studio.

The good news is that the film should bring in a total of $180-200 million in the states, figure about $400 million worldwide (all that based on this weekend's numbers). The film will be quite profitable - and there will definitely be sequels. So...

Based on this why then do the DVD producers get such a bug up their arses about copy protection, encryption, and making reverse engineering illegal?

Because 70% of the films they make lose money. Warner Bros. spent $250 million on Batman and Robin, and only made about half of that back. A couple of years later they spent $220 million filming Wild Wild West and only made $100 million back. Therefore, they squeeze all the money they can from their successful films to pay for the stinky ones.

Also, the people in charge of the studios, and most American corporations, rarely take the humanistic view that "okay, we've made enough money from this project. Let's give it away for free now!" Those few companies that do that usually go bankrupt within a week or so.

The definitive X-Men Review

Actually, the studio spent about $70 million on the X-Men production, and another $30-40 million on promotion and other costs. That's the bad news for the studio.

The good news is that the film should bring in a total of $180-200 million in the states, figure about $400 million worldwide (all that based on this weekend's numbers). The film will be quite profitable - and there will definitely be sequels. So...

Based on this why then do the DVD producers get such a bug up their arses about copy protection, encryption, and making reverse engineering illegal?

Because 70% of the films they make lose money. Warner Bros. spent $250 million on Batman and Robin, and only made about half of that back. A couple of years later they spent $220 million filming Wild Wild West and only made $100 million back. Therefore, they squeeze all the money they can from their successful films to pay for the stinky ones.

Also, the people in charge of the studios, and most American corporations, rarely take the humanistic view that "okay, we've made enough money from this project. Let's give it away for free now!" Those few companies that do that usually go bankrupt within a week or so.

The definitive X-Men Review

That $58 million take represents the fourth-highest opening in movie history. To put that dollar amount into perspective, imagine a stack of apples, one for each dollar the movie made.

That stack would be 58 million apples high.

Boggles the mind, doesn't it?