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Fleeing Jurassic Park III
We are deep into the summer doldrums, and to what is shaping up as a sub-par movie summer. Score (Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando) is a stylish, genial, high-end crime saga, one of those old-style movies in which the good guys are classy, harm no one, have high ethical standards, and have the neatest tools in the world. The movie is a bit flat and predictable. There is the by-now standard deranged computer hacker who screams at his mom while stuffing junk food into his mouth and hacking into the most sophisticated computer systems in the world in nano-seconds to find out anything anybody wants to know. DeNiro plays an aging burglar who is depressed about having to do one more big score so he can get out of the game and shack up with Angela Bassett. But in this movie, DeNiro is a little too depressed. Norton, a young wannabe, takes him on. Norton does a great job of playing a pseudo-psychotic who keeps you guessing right up to the end precisely what he is capable of. The movie is worth seeing, if only to see these good actors, atmospheric scenes of Montreal, and an aging Brando do one or two neat scenes that suggest the great actor still has it.
Legally Blonde (Reese Witherspoon) suggests another dumb teen movie, but manages to transcend the genre. Witherspoon plays a seemingly brainless but good-hearted Malibu-Barbie type who applies to Harvard Law School to pursue her snotty boyfriend (who dumps her once he's admitted because he needs someone more serious) and who, in the name of diversity, gets admitted. The twist is that this airhead is a sympathetic victim, turned on by snotty peers, jeering classmates, and insulting professors. You know the plot without seeing the movie, but one interesting thing about this film, which goes against expectations, is the way Witherspoon's (who was great in Clueless) character [note: Actually, that was Alicia Silverstone, but who can tell? -T] hangs on to her odd values. If movies are a barometer of anything, this one may be telling us it's okay to obsess on manicures and how you look again. There are, of course, all of the familiar cliches about elitist kids and Harvard. Hollywood needs some new targets. But still, this is the most enjoyable movie I saw all week, which says something.
America's Sweethearts is the summer's most ballyhooed romantic comedy. This should have been a knockout movie. It has a great cast -- Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Julia Roberts, Stanley Tucci, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christopher Walken, and a great target to feast on -- Hollywood hype, studio culture, and press junkets. Who better than Billy Crystal to write and star in this kind of a movie?
But America's Sweethearts is a shockingly awful movie. The truth is, when push comes to shove, any film is often simply about the writing, something that did in Final Fantasy, and the writing in this one is just terrible. The movie is crammed with slapstick gags that aren't funny, a plethora of masturbation and penis jokes (the Farrelly Brothers do this a lot better), and just crummy dialogue. It's a major disappointment, given the talent involved, maybe one of the biggest of the summer. This movie has about five laughs in its nearly two long and arduous hours.
Personally, the movie I've been waiting for all summer is coming out next week -- the re-make of Planet Of The Apes. According to the movie mags, they were re-shooting the end of this movie as recently as last week, a bad sign. But there's always hope, even this summer.
Did anyone notice the appearance of Linux in The Score? Plus I think that computer-geek kid was a right-on portrayal of the "script kiddie" type!
Oh, and.. first!
Jon Katz doesn't like anything. He's like a CNN-reviewer-wanna-be. Jurassic Park III did what it was supposed to do: show us fun dinosaurs in a summer adventure movie. It wasn't "Citizen Kane," but it was entertaining anyway. Also, Reese Witherspoon was not in "Clueless." Check the IMDB before you write a lame tirade, er, I mean review.
The sequal was pathetic. The special effects were still cool and in a few parts, you still were on the edge of your seat, but it was a sequal that shouldn't have been made.
I wouldn't even consider going to see, buying or even renting the second sequel. The gee-gosh of the special effects is gone now and it'd be a battle just to maintain the suspension of disbelief from the now-standard special effects to the detraction of whatever plot they managed to scrounge together.
You'd think with the big names, big bucks and big experience, they could have used the money and talent behind the third movie and done something seperate and unique rather than rehash the boring dinasaur thing.
She was great in Ferris Beuller!
Well, you have a point. However, Jon Katz is far more of a journalist than any of the other Slashdot crew (except perhaps Roblimo, who doesn't really post anything anymore) since he's the only one who generates any original content (except for a semiannual piece like CmdrTaco's "why linux will never be mainstream" which is usually just a long rant. Then again, that's usually what a jonkatz piece is also...).
There was a question a few years ago as to whether or not Slashdot is journalism. To my it's clearly not, since they don't have any hand in creating content. To call Slashdot journalism is an insult to true journalists who investigate subjects and write their own content. Slashdot is more like a leech, waiting for other people to send in newsy things and all they have to do is click a accept/reject button, and maybe throw in a few comments here and there. Slashdot does serve a useful purpose, and it's good at what it does, but it's not journalism by any stretch of the imagination.
Wasn't that Alicia Silverstone that was in Clueless, not Witherspoon? She was in Election and Pleasantville. Both fine movies.
Haven't you figured it out? I mean, after reading Jon Katz's articles for so long, I've come to one, undeniable conclusion.
Jon Katz doesn't watch movies.
That's right. I'm almost certain he writes his reviews based on the trailers. "Hey, that Witherspoon chick looks kinda familiar. Wasn't she in......CLUELESS! Yes! I'll put that in my review! And of course, I know the plot before I see the movie; that qualifies me totally, 100% to write an objective, unbiased, informative review."
One the off chance that he actually makes it into a movie theater, he's mumbling "What a goddamned shitty movie" to himself as he is paying for his popcorn.
When he sits down and the film reel starts, he reviews the movies in the pre-feature trailers - each one of them being a horrible muddle of teen-insulting drama permeated by violence and shallow characters. Including That-New-Disney-Flick(tm).
Gene Siskel would be proud. *cough*
I agree that Slashdot does need some Entertainment content, its just part of a well rounded site. But is Jon Katz the right person for the job? His 'reviews' of movies (His Book reviews are much better in my opinion, as he actually seems to dig a bit) are often no more informative or exploratory than the trailer of the movie itself. Maybe in this category the focus shouldn't be on quantity (1 bash and 2 reviews in 1 post) but on quality. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would be able to submit quality movie reviews. As discussion of these 'mini reviews' degenerates quickly into, shallow "I liked it", or "I didn't like it" discussions. A more thoughtful approach may be required.
Reese Witherspoon wasn't in Clueless. Alicia Silverstone played the blonde stereotype lead character in that one. Witherspoon's characters in various films have been compared to Alicia Silverstone's Clueless character, which may explain the confusion.
Other than that, it's just: "Oh no a T-Rex, don't move! Its vision is based on movement." "Oh no, Raptors. They are smart, they set up us the trap".
...Don't even bother going.
You obviously took your own advice. Either you didn't have the money to, or your parents didn't let you, see the movie. If you did you would have known those lead-ins produced very different results. Almost to the point of parody.
The great part of JP3 was how it lead you in with stock plot contrevance but played on what you expected to happen next. I for one enjoyed the ride.
Sorry if I'm just picking on you, there are a many posts like this. This goes out to all of them.
~^~~^~^^~~^
I haven't seen JPIII (or II for that matter) but the raptors in JPI definitely weren't that bright. I mean when a t-rex turns up do you (?)
a) run like crap
b) jump on it's back and give it love bites
I guess they're on an accelerated learning program.
http://rareformnewmedia.com/
I dunno, it's happened to me once. I watched the first few minutes of Biodome, and for some gosh darn reason I thought that it wouldn't be much.
I haven't seen JP3 yet, and I'm kind of hoping, nay, praying that you're kidding.
Yeah, but with Tim Burton. The man's got a gift for weirdness.
But it's the *same* island as in "JP2: The Lost World"...and the *same* "monsters". The only thing that was different was the huge nasty with the fin.
Other than that, it's just: "Oh no a T-Rex, don't move! Its vision is based on movement." "Oh no, Raptors. They are smart, they set up us the trap".
You can only do this so many times before it becomes tried and boring, like JP3. Don't even bother going.
--
Join my fight against Subway's new cut!
http://spine.cx/subway/
I beleive that was ripped from a Simpson's episode. Very funny, but you should have given some credit.
Of course, he DID say it was courtesy the Simpsons.
That Ape musical is one of the richest bits of parody the Simpsons has ever produced, and it's one I point to when I want to illustrate that the Simpsons isn't just comedy - it's social commentary.
--Jim
I think what you WANT to say was that Alicia Silverstone was great in Clueless, and that Reese Witherspoon was great in Election, and that Reese Witherspoon's version of Alicia Silverstone's character in Clueless was great!
See? Much clearer.
-Laxitive
> Is it true that members of Mensa are telekinetic and can jerk off with only their mind?
That's the ONLY way they can accomplish it, I'm afraid. You win a little, you lose a little.
You.SenseOfHumor() == null
--
Well, that's because you didn't see Ghost World. Anyone coulda told you that all the movies you reviewed would suck, except for The Score. I was disappointed to see that every single review of it has trashed it, because De Niro and Brando are two of the best living American actors. But even though I sometimes disagree with reviewers, it's rare that I disagree with everyone. So I'll skip it. But as for the others, it was pretty obvious they were going to be shallow, by looking at the trailers, who was in them, and what they were about. What was he last "romantic comedy" that had any redeeming value? Probably Chasing Amy, and that one doesn't even count. And Legally Blonde is such a tip-off summer-movie lame-pun name that you didn't even need to see the retarded trailer to know it would be terrible. Ghost World, though, was a subtle movie that actually contained (gasp!) beauty, and perceptive observations, and acting, and all that stuff! Plus, Steve Buscemi is my hero.
You may have noticed that I haven't given a lot of evidence for my opinions. Well, tough. I'm too lazy.
Switch the . and the @ to email me.
Oops. Mia maxima culpa. My brain short-circuits from time to time. :P
--
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
The JP 3 director knew what he was doing. There were no slowdowns, few plot holes, no wasted time--it was nice and tight at 90 minutes. There were a hell of a lot fewer annoying characters in it than the first JP; the kid (played by one of the child actors from The Sixth Sense, by the way!) was actually a decent character and not someone you kept wishing would get eaten by a dinosaur, and there was no annoying lawyer or Jeff Goldblum either. Sam Neill, always a fantastic actor, did a great job of playing this grown up boy who never quite lost his sense of wonder, even when he tried to hide it under a callous exterior; William Atherton and Tea Leoni were also quite good and very believable as the divorced couple who are brought back together by the the island. There were some cute in-jokes and references back to the first film, too.
I never saw the Goldblum sequel because, hey, I didn't really like Goldblum's character. And from what I've heard, I didn't miss much. But this--this was a sequel worth seeing.
--
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
....it's not going to be the same without Charlton Heston screaming "DAMN YOU!" at the end...
And without Roddy MacDowall dragging his knuckles on the ground...
I live in Europe and I can't wait to see this movie. It must be so bad it's funny. I sure hope it's worse than Jurassic Parc II!
-- Cheers!
He can't really help it. His characted sucks, in the movie as well as in the book. I never understood why he was around.
-- Cheers!
It's been a while since I read the book (I saw the film again yesterday on BBC), but IIRC, in the book as well as in the film Ian is babbling about standing on the shoulders of giants, and the researchers having no respect for what they were doing because it took them very little efford, which in my opinion is utter BS. This Malcolm character seems to want us to invent the wheel over and over again. His presence made no sence in the book as well as in the movie. Well, that's what I think, anyway. But you're right, in the book he doesn't say that 'life will find a way'.
-- Cheers!
In the second book the islands are totally destroyed by bombarding them.
-- Cheers!
So I bolited, skipped illegally across the hallways of the megaplex to write a weekly wrap-up instead.
Way to go, JK. You're really stickin' it to em now!!
What total and utter crap....
______________________________
rooooar
I'm sure most politicians also have fond memories of their first Playboy or Penthouse, and porn is just as American as apple pie, but that doesn't stop them from trying to ban everything "for the CHILDREN!"
______________________________
rooooar
Just for kicks take a look at this site ht tp://www.thehooligan.com/20sfr.html it specifically does movie reviews from trailers, making assumptions about what will be seen from the inferrences in the trailers.
Thanks for the cogent reply. It's been many years since I read the book, and I had forgotten that important distinction. I just remembered that the math guy annoyed me in both incarnations. : )
Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
Yup. MoooOOOF!
Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
I'm not going to cry any crocodile tears for Crichton. He sodomized his own (pretty good) novel Jurassic Park by magically resurrecting the most obnoxious character, just so they could hire Jeff "I Only Play Goofy Slightly Charismatic Scientists" Goldblum for JP2.
Guess what...he still sucked. : )
Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
I've always considered the articles in Slashdot as simply first posts in a new comment thread. C'mon, that's all they are, they are just done by the same people all the time, but the quality is rarely above the rest of the comments.
I saw this as an opportunity to read some good reviews submitted by readers, but rather, everyone is just bashing JonKatz, which to be honest, is about as unchallenging and unfulfilling as bashing Dan Quayle, except for that huy above who did some nice analysis of his sentences.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
At least Katz is honest. It is not at all unusual for a movie critic to leave the theatre not long after the opening credits.
(Seen it myself. Lucky enough to score some press tickets while on my college newspaper.)
Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. -John Lennon
Of course it was a satire. I picked up on that in the first 2 minutes of the movie. But satire alone doesn't make something funny or entertaining. "Scary Movie" accomplished this MUCH better, even if it only addressed one genre of movies.
You in fact seem more entertained by the reviews you percieve to be false than by the movie itself. I don't personally look to critics for my entertainment, although thats not to say they can't be entertaining in their own special way. But reviews should be utilized to determine if its worth my time and money to see the movie in the first place, and afterwards to see if others agree with my point of view.
Therefore, anyone who wants to see a dry movie full of top named actors(resses) weakly poke fun a the very industry they stake their livelihoods on, by all means, go see American Sweethearts. However, if you're just bored on a Saturday night, watching grass grow or paint dry will probably be more entertaining and certainly far less expensive.
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
Thankfully, with you posting, I don't feel that need. :)
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
Not all movies. I'm sure there are some good ones out right now, as there have always been bad ones over the years. The problem is, while sitting through a bad movie, I can usually pick up (during the 20 minutes of previews) a few good candidates for GOOD movies.
:). There was not ONE preview that screamed at me "You have to see this!" Thats what previews are for anyways, to take the only good 1 minute worth of footage from a movie and make it out to be the best movie ever produced in the history of movie making. If the content of the movies is so bad they can't even pull THAT off, I've come to realize there might be an actual REASON I haven't been to a theatre more than 3 times since Phantom Meanace was released.
I was dragged to see America's Sweethearts last night (I had a couple female companions..... what was I to do? say NO!?!?
So what's the deal? Do movies suck more now than they used to, or am I just changing and finding that movies tend to pander to the less neurologically active audience?
-Restil
Play with my webcams and lights here
You're right, but I thought the "Betty Ford Clinic" musical was a better example.
Mainly because they double up on the commentary in that one and I simply enjoy bitterness.
I won't even mention what happens when you have six sequels
I would have to say no, based upon the fact that no computer games have $85,000,000 budgets.
Is there seriously anything Jon Katz likes? Perhaps slashdot should change to "News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters. Jon Katz Movie Reviews". Oops, I just turned off Jon Katz articles, darn.
The best way to accelerate a windows box is at 9.8 meters per second square.
JP3: Did they have to make this one? JP2 was such a piece of shit in the first place why would they attempt to follow that up? JP1 was a masterpiece.
FF: Didn't see it, but heard it was great. I think geeks can be too rigid on technical issues, kinda like how trekkies get ;).
Legally Blonde: This movie had all the makings to be the next Iron Eagle 3, but it suprisingly turned out to be a funny flick. I think the comparison between Silverstone and Witherspoon is unjust. Witherspoon is in another league of acting. See Election if you haven't. She has that character down to a T...and she turned what could've been a terrible movie into a good one with LB.
http://www.icalledit.com - Predicting the future, one post at a time
Jargon file entry for spelling flame.
--
Alex Johns
Every element which you and Jon described as 'awful' is funny because it takes off things that happened for real, and the movie works so well because of the strong cast who play their part to perfection. If the rest of the American audiences are as dimwitted as J. Katz, then:
- I will continue laughing for some time
- The movie will be a much greater hit overseas than in America.
For a review by someone who actually knows what they are talking about, check here.A summer movie is a good action movie that is fun to see without being a true piece of art. It's a way to have fun.
I think a lot of people dislike movies just to dislike movies.
We saw JP3 last night and liked it. It's exactly what they tell you it is...people running from cool looking dinosaurs. It isn't going to win a lot of awards (maybe special effects), but it's a great summer movie to see.
Movie reviews on this site have become totally useless. Unless the movie is about some population of people being repressed for being different and can be compared to Columbine Katz doesn't like it. Hey John, pretend the people on the island are being persecuted for being different and the dinosaurs are the "jocks" and then maybe you'll like it!
Excellent Question. Supposedly the engineers wroking at JP made one themselves, tho Lex in the movie yelled out that it was a *Nix OS, and she knew how to handle it. (Ignore that it was a 3D UI.)
Oh, and the Noted AppleMaster Michael Crichton says that the OS in JP was inspired by the help menu in the mac portable
Neat, huh? BTW, I think Timeline was one of his better ones, it explained Quantum physics well.
Interesting that you seem to associate using Debian with super-villiany. Interesting indeed....
-Sokie
------
Where are the slash-groupies? I distinctly remember being promised slash-groupies!
Two weeks ago, some of my friends went to see Legally Blonde. "Matinee," I thought, referring to the price I'd like to play -- about $4 -- to see a movie that proudly portrays its vapitidy. I, and other friends, went to see The Score instead. I may see Legally Blonde this afternoon, but it's looking increasingly unlikely. $8.50 (the regular price of a movie) saved; $4.50 if I end up seeing it during the day.
Mr. Katz ended up not only saving the money, but seeing the movie.
Last Wednesday, my friends wanted to see JP3. I, having not particularly liked the first and downright hated the second, said no thanks, have fun, and smell ya later. Another $8.50 saved.
Mr. Katz ended up seeing enough of the movie to walk out on it (apparently, my foresight is 20/20, if his opinion is to be trusted), and did so without paying for it.
I'll likely see America's Sweethearts soon. That's $8.50 I'll spend.
Mr. Katz also paid full price to see America's Sweethearts (we'll assume the ticket printed "Jurassic Park 3" was simply clerk error), but is actually paid -- by a corporation, nonetheless -- to do so.
So, here we have me, Average Joe Moviegoer, unable to see every movie that comes out due to budgetary prioritizing. On the other hand, Corporate Moviegoer Jon goes to not one, not two, but THREE movies for the price of one, recognizes the illegality (but not immorality) of his actions, and then gets PAID to do it.
As movie theaters' profits are based on economies of scale -- that is, each moviegoer gives them increasingly more income, per person -- Corporate Jon has in effect stolen doubly from the theaters. I say we blame the evil entity known as Big MovieReviewing. After all, corporations have no moral compass, and Mr. Katz is a shining example.
I'd be happy if someone would proofread the articles before they are posted. I've seen so many spelling errors and outright typos recently, I think some junior high kids would be a good change. At least they are still getting taught basic English skills and might review their writing before hitting the submit button.
JP was a much better book, than movie, but if you want one of his novels with a big difference between movie and book, Congo was INCREDIBLY better as a novel.
Maybe you shouldn't judge films by their trailers. Firstly, for some filmes, it is simply not possible to capture what makes them special in a few minutes. Also, the people who produce the trailers often don't seem to be able to make an appropriate trailer.
So, with your attitude, you're going to miss a few great films.
Damn, used all my mod points already.
Absolutely hillarious post!! Dead on too.
Long ago I discovered that turning off the logical part of your brain while watching a movie is the only sure way to have a good time.
you may think that you are defending the film, bu whenever i see this, i just groan, loudly [and not in the nice way]
You know the plot without seeing the movie, but one interesting thing about this film, which goes against expectations, is the way Witherspoon's (who was great in Clueless character hangs on to her odd values.
I hate to nitpick, but do you mean Witherspoon was great in Clueless? Or that a character like hers was great in Clueless? If it's the former, methinks the IMDb stands to correct you - if its the latter, your grammar hath confused me...
Better believe it; ou 'll know him when you see him.
And speaking of POTA, the reviews of Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" are coming in, and they aren't pretty. It's looking like POTA isn't going to be the summer blockbuster we all hoped it would be.
Oh god yes! The question is, do you remember the episode where he reviewed "Jurassic Park 3?"
Quote from the critic's Jurassic Park 3: "You can't trap a raptor in a closet! They're too smart!
Quote from the real JP3: "They [raptors] were too smart. They were smarter than dolphins. They were smarter than primates..."
Oh god, sometimes i think the world can't get any more obscenely surreal.
Then it fucking bowls me over with it.
G'night!
Tetris rules.
I'll have to second that, Memento was definitely one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Too bad it didn't get the publicity it deserved.
----
Striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap, will be the leap ho
What did you expect in a summer/Spielberg movie... high art? Maybe we should have expected "The Third Man" or "Wages of Fear" from the Spielberg/Chrichton duo? Grow up and stop whining, Katz. Jeez, you're irritating.
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
-- Pablo Picasso
I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere, but was anyone else mesmerized by her looks. This was the first time I found myself staring uncontrollably and she wasn't even a real woman.
There should be laws against replicating fineness like that...
I am Lord Snowbeam. Heed my call!
JP3: they should have continued the movie from alan grant's dream sequence where the raptor is like, ALAN!@!@$$ ALAN#$#$ instead of going into all that stupid OH NO WE HAVE TO RUN FROM RAPTORS AND FIND THINGS IN DINOSAUR SHIT junk. i want more raptors talking in rediculous voices!
-- music nonstop. techo pop. --kraftwerk
Taking the Evil Dead Scenario, shouldn't have JP3 been a near paraody of the first 2 (that would have been much better... ie this is my boomstick). They did that thing long before scream. Thi first JP was based on the novel with several major changes most confined to turning a literary ending into a movie ending. The Second JP was a bad screen play attempt that tried to be a sequel to the movie and the first book (ala 2010 what planet are orbiting). The Third I believe is a chance to use all the cool ideas that were in the books but missing from the first 2 films.
don't believe it
I'll be the first to admit that I am disappointed by many movies, but minutes? This movie could have kicked ass, but you'll never know if you left "minutes" into it.
Carpe Deez
I beleive that was ripped from a Simpson's episode. Very funny, but you should have given some credit.= \=\=\=\=\
=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\
I agree. I almost left The Matrix in disgust after about five minutes. I'm pretty happy I stayed now... The conclusions Katz came to in those minutes seem to be things that I can deduce from the trailer - or even less than that!
Die dulci fruere. Have a nice day.
It's false advertising. It all takes place on Isla Sorna (site b, same island as in 2). I saw it last night. I had free passes. What a waste! The effects are not nearly as good, it has some genetically engineered overgrown crocodile monster that kills the t-rex. It has a terrible (and unbelieveable) plot. DO NOT SPEND REAL $ ON THIS FILM.
Does anyone else here watch "The Critic" on USA? I keep thinking "John Katz: I't stinks!" :)
(No, in fact I have NO useful comment, aside from this attempt at humor, why?)
Have a nice day, guys!
--- For a good time mail uce@ftc.gov
Does anyone remember that show The Critic, with Jon Lovitz? They had a movie parody about Jurrasic Park where the dinosaurs were so smart that they could dislosdge a key from a lock and have it fall on the newspaper. Then when the dinosaur opens the door he has a pipe and speaks with an english accent. Good stuff.
I will be going to see planet of the apes.
and i plan to "bolt" before the movie starts.
Why? Planet of the Apes is the first movie to run the Star Wars: Episode Two trailer before the movie.
~Zero
sig?
The third movie takes place on a DIFFERENT island than the first.
Yes, but it takes place on the SAME island as the second. Hope that helps.
Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
I'll give it a shot, but it's not going to be the same without Charlton Heston screaming "DAMN YOU!" at the end...
You're using her as bait, Master!
Katz is absolutely right about this one. If you've seen the first JP, and perhaps the second, you've already seen this movie. Same island as #2, same principles as #1, same dinos as both, except for one. They spray painted a few of the 'saurs to make them "different", then stretched the science to give the raptors "more abilities".And the soundtrack? C'mon! They just bought the CD from the first movie and had it playing in the background as the humans ran around being pursued by the dinos.
I didn't buy it. (Truly, I didn't pay for the ticket.) I suggest you don't either. Go rent #1 again. It's a better bang for your buck.
--SC
You read fiction? I write it! Lemme know what you th
well, all the machines were SGI's as I recall, so it would be IRIX (a real unix(tm) so lex was right). the 3d park overview would be custom app software but I seem to recall there was a section with a screen full of 3d buttons and when pressed the flipped over and flew towards the screen providing the next set of buttons.
thats a menuing system given away with irix, I've got it on my indigo2 except they have all sorts of demo programs listed there.
cheers
dave
You got what you wanted, the good old +5 (Kats Bashing).
.sig
This is exactly the critic I was waiting for about these movies, and I am happy about it.
phobos% cat
phobos% cat
cat:
Well, What about Memento? That was a good movie... umm... okay, lord of the rings looks to be "okay" as well, if it will ever come out...
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Garden of Eden Creation Kit
http://www.livejournal.com/users/whiskeyjuvenile/
...but he didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Maybe it's the same with America's Sweethart?
I'm not going to write about the opinions Katz expresses in his reviews. The problem I do have is the timing of these reviews. This site is designed to generate discussion about articles, news & in this case, movies. Wouldn't it make more sense to wait several weeks following the release of a movie before the review is posted so we the readers have more to offer than what were you expecting??
We can all turn to a local entertainment mag for reviews. What i want here is an environment where we can discuss what we've SEEN.
kill_9_1
As I recall, you've mixed up your Williams. Atherton was the nemesis-scientist in Bio-Dome, among other things, while JP3 fatures William H. Macy (of Pleasantville and loads of others).
Karma: Excellent, but still won't get you laid.
What you saw in theaters was the original version. You notice how the lips matched the dialog? That is because the original language for the film is english. Dubbing it into japanese and then translating it back to english for your subtitles isn't going to make the movie any better.
If you really want to strech it you could call it "anime" but it's still an american movie not something from japan.
That's what I like about Ebert: he rates movies based upon reasonable expectations. He doesn't judge everything against Citizen Kane.
Holy creeping zombie Jesus! Liberty is nothing but a freaking STATUTE? No wonder Dmitry is in jail.
I know everyone hates Jon Katz. It's evident on these forums that no one likes to read his garbage. I'd say 1 out of 10 of his postings are decent reading material. If we truly didn't like reading his stuff we'd block him as an author in our settings. The truth is, we like reading his posts just to see how dumb they're going to be. I know I do at least.
The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. - Benjamin Franklin
No kidding! What the hell was that?? "Gee, I went to see Jurassic Park III, but much to my surprise when the movie started, those losers actually made it about DINOSAURS again, so I left without even giving it a fair chance."
For some real reviews of Jurassic Park III check out Rotten Tomatoes (No I am not affiliated with them) The reviews are about half positive, half negative.
"Mind, as manifested by the capacity to make choices, is to some extent present in every electron." -Freeman Dyson
Jon Katz is becoming Mister Cranky.
I can't remember a decent movie I've seen in the theater in the last year or two.
That's bullshit. Memento was a good movie. Crouching Tiger was interesting, and certainly qualifies as "decent". Princess Mononoke was pretty damned cool. LA Confidential was certainly worth watching. There have been a whole shitload of smaller releases that have been worth watching -- Buffalo '66 springs immediately to mind.
All this bullshit about how there are no good movies anymore bugs the crap out of me. There have always been a bucketload of crappy movies, and there have always been a few gems that stand out, against the odds.
But if you keep insisting on giving money to the people that make movies like Pearl Harbor, you're going to keep seeing movies like Pearl Harbor. I have very little sympathy for you.
Slashdot is jumping the shark. I'm just driving the boat.
perhaps you need to see more movies.
Nah. Most movies are pretty crappy.
Slashdot is jumping the shark. I'm just driving the boat.
Whatever.
Hollywood has always been a giant shit factory, and only by happy accident have you ever found some still edible corn in the middle of all that excrement.
I just get pissed off at clueless folks who pretend like this situation is somehow "new", or that there's no corn left in the bowl. There has been plenty of nuggety goodness in the past few years, and I have no sympathy for someone who keeps paying good money to eat the brown stuff.
Slashdot is jumping the shark. I'm just driving the boat.
The studio will never let the JP franchise get cheesy enough to become watchable. The cheese is what keeps Godzilla alive, take it away and you get a pile of crap like that one with Matthew Broderick.
Movie: $10 for two hours. Totally passive.
Computer game: $50 for many tens of hours. Interactive. Increasingly social.
And I wonder if computer games now actually require more work to create than movies? (Diablo II vs. American Sweetharts, say?)
Did Michael Crichton have anything to do at all with this film, the third consecutive rape of what started off as a pretty good novel? I mean besides the "based on the book" credit.
woof.
Pity the Europeans who will get these films a few months later, badly overdubbed.
and if you want some good Ed Norton, go rent American History X...
Anybody dumb enough to get on that island again deserves what he gets
And anybody dumb enough to go see that movie deserves what he gets...
Honestly, didn't you know what to expect when you went to see it? I did, I knew exactly what I was gonna get, and that's what I got. No more No less. But at least I'm not complaining...
There are two kinds of people in the world: Those with good memory.
Pretty sure she wasn't in Clueless.
---
There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.
The problem with today's movies lie in how the story is told. They just don't pay enough attention to it. What you end up with is people in strange situation saying strange things for strange reasons. You sit in the theater and think of how you could re-write the script as you are watching the movie. Kind of sucks the enjoyment out of it. If these movie studios would wise up a little, they could make a lot more money. Take a little bit more care with the scripts and stories and the movies they make would improve. In turn more people would like them and possibly see it again or tell friends to see it, increasing revenue. What I fear is that good script writers and story tellers are hard to come buy.
There's a world of difference between these worldviews
God, college has destroyed my writing skills. I should just stick to Perl.
-Nat
There's some point to that babbling. Taking advantage of scientific breakthroughs without years of experience and failure can be dangerous. An assortment of no-namers and hacks are trying to clone humans now, with little or no thought for the results- only for the notoriety. Unfortunately these attempts are likely to fail disasterously, and public opinion will be so inflamed that useful research involving somatic cell nuclear transfer and genomic manipulation will be in trouble as a result of a thoroughly useless and risky investigation.
Similar thing in the book. They've got the technology to make dinosaurs, so they go nuts and build a theme park with barely any study. That's not _real_ science.
Anyway, I just say a high-quality MPEG (with Chinese subtitles) of JP3. Not so great, but if certain characters had been munched I'd have enjoyed it a lot more. Sam Neill is always a pleasure, at least.
Remember, the character in the book is totally different. I read an article (part of a larger book about Hollywood vs. history) by Stephen Jay Gould that described this quite nicely: basically, Crichton's Ian Malcolm is ranting about how the park system is too complex, how the science and technology involved is beyond current understanding- thus it's inevitable that something will fail, because "shit happens."
In the movie, however, it's "life will find a way", the usual Hollywood BS about the limitations of human endeavor, arrogant scientists destroying us all, etc. The point is _totally_ changed into something Joe Sixpack and the scriptwriters can understand. There's a world of difference between these worldviews, which most people miss- it's the single largest difference between the book and the movie.
By the way, you should watch "Silverado", a mid-80s western (along with "Unforgiven", one of the few great movies in the genre to come out in the last 20 years). It's got a superb cast (Kevin Kline, Danny Glover, Scott Glenn, Kevin Costner, Brian Dennehy, etc.), and Jeff Goldblum plays a very oily bad guy. Much different.
-Nat
These are some probably off-base trains of thought, but I just woke up, so please excuse my insanity.
"What we elect to call imagination is mere combination of things not heretofore combined." - Frank Norris
Tell me what makes you so afraid
Of all those people you say you hate
Tell me what makes you so afraid
Of all those people you say you hate
I'm beginning to think that JonKatz hates all forms of popular media... I can't recall a single movie of late that he hasn't started off by saying "this movie sucks". Is this because the movies really do suck (I'm not much of a moviegoer personally), or is this editorial bias kicking in?
Is this maybe a strike back against the MPAA, in order to make us Slashdotters believe that all movies suck and we shouldn't "waste" our money by supporting the MPAA? Now, I agree that the MPAA is evil, but don't bash the products if they really are good entertainment!
- Jester
I admit, the first dino scene with the plane did look kinda cheesy (it was obvious that was an animatronic dino instead of CGI) but I thought the bird-cage and some of the raptor scenes were done pretty well. Maybe they should've thrown a Compy attack in for good measure, but I went to the theatre to see dinosaurs and that's what I got. Long ago I discovered that turning off the logical part of your brain while watching a movie is the only sure way to have a good time.
Katz shouldn't be bashing a movie after only seeing the first few minutes, that's like reading the first 2 pages in a book and saying the plotline was terrible. If you dont like dinosaurs, please go rot your brain in another Reese Witherspoon movie.
P.S. If the spineosaurus had run out onto the airstrip and eaten Tea Leoni in the first 10 minutes of the movie I would've paid to see it on a regular-fare night instead of a cheap-night... god she's annoying.
Arnold and James each wanted too much money, among other things. Plus Cameron kept waffling on what he wanted to do next. Arnold's high asking price has derailed a lot of good projects.
Want a truly horrible experience? Read "Congo".
Better yet, see the movie. Years later, I still can't believe I paid perfectly good money to see it. It was a matinee, so it was cheaper, but still not worth it. Poorly crafted creature effects, including bloodthirsty hippos... I seem to recall thinking the part with the eyeball was cool, but I had no use for the movie beyond that.
----
You fool. It will just be a big bombing raid without aircraft fire and no bogies. It would be boring. The US would never land troops there. They would even leave them in IRAQ to finish off Sadam. Why would they land troops Isla Sorna.
About the phone, I was wondering why it wasn't digested. Or as someone pointed out to me, when it was fully underwater, it died. Saliva should do the trick as well. Or maybe stomach acid. I don't see any way for the phone to continue working after it is swallowed by a dinosaur.
As for Eric, surviving 8 weeks should have been impossible. Consider this: On the same path Eric took, Alan Gray was attacked by dinosaurs at least once, and they would have killed him, if not for Eric. Eric, taking that path, should have been attacked as well, especially if it's a common territory for velociraptors. I don't see how he was able to make it to safety at all in that time, and I'd consider that fairly unrealistic [although I do understand that it theoretically *could* happen].
Final point, not exactly a plot hole, but I absolutely do not like how all the dinosaurs looked and sounded different from the other 2 movies. It reminds me a lot of the comparison between the Star Wars trilogy and Episode 1. It just seems wrong to start using new technology in the middle of a set of movies.
..And why didn't JP3 have a title? Or maybe a better question would be, why did Lost World have a title? (:
--
I have to disagree with you on this point. I think The Andromeda Strain is well written and quite a good read. If you haven't ever read it, I would recommend you give it a try. I believe this was his first book that was made into a movie, and it has just been downhill from there. Hollywood has ruined him, he now writes his books like a screenplay, so they'll be easier to adapt to the screen. Hollywood should just hire him as a screenwriter and skip the painful step of the book. Maybe it would make the movies a little better.
Enigma
Enigma
Sarah Michelle Gellar was the evil one. Reese Witherspoon was the good one. Selma Blair played the ingenue who actually came off as borderline retarded.
Apparently, the studio got word of this, or talked to someone of the same opinion, and changed the script after the shooting was done. They removed most of what Crystal had wanted to movie to be about and tried to repackage it as what it is.
So it's little wonder that it failed, regardless of the casting.
I'd rather have someone respond than be modded up.
If Katz hasn't gotten fired yet, do you think something silly like mistaking who was in Clueless is going to do anything to fire up the editors?
Katz the Bill Walton of Slashdot: The guy everyone loves to hate
The worst vice is advice...
"It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it."
This summer season of movies does suck.. except for the Fast and the Furious (the Top Gun of car movies!) and the upcoming Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back! Shrek was good too.
--- rapper/producer/bachelorette party stripper
I liked his review of Final Fantasy. He knew the plot sucked, but didn't care because it was the equivilent of the first talkies or the first 3D movies, i.e. significant because they are the first to introduce a major technological breakthrough.
Numbers 31:17,18 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man,but save for yourselves every virg
Bolited? Hmmm, the closest word to this that I could find was:
Heh. Image comes to mind of a new MPAA video content protection scheme: critics who don't like a film are caused to explode, thus acting as a warning to others... would YOU want to copy a film that might make you blow up, to? :)
Hank Azaria [...] stole the show and is worth seeing because of him.
Agreed. He was brilliant. Didn't he also do the memorable 'Agador Spartacus' in 'The Birdcage'? That was another great performance.
For eye candy, you can peep Catherine-Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts.
Catherine Zeta-Jones is indeed stunning.
I also thought she maximized her character. She was dead-on as a Hollywood prima donna bitch. But Zeta-Jones, Azaria, and Alan Arkin, and Walken had the only well-written parts in the movie. And of this bunch, only Zeta-Jones had significant screen time. The rest of the actors -- Cusack, Roberts, and Crystal -- walked around the same goddam hotel for two hours spewing what were, to my ears, non-sequitir after non-sequitir. Plus, the series of 'revelations' after the screening are beyond belief, as is Cusack's attraction to the utterly boring Roberts. Billy Crystal's script and direction utterly fail.
By the way, Roberts fans (not me) will be disappointed by this movie. She dresses poorly, shows no radiance, and her glorious smile is nearly absent. Of course, this is in line with her dowdy character, but still. Julia Roberts without the girly-girl-isms is just another anorexic brown-haired woman.
He just goes out of his way to watch movies that a: are quite obviously not the least bit intellegent and b: have already been reviewed by everyone else on the planet. If they happen to require any sort of historical perspective, he predictably sounds like an typical 15 year old (The guy's what, 40 or 45?). I seem to recall "It made me think 'Gee, the world was really different back in the 30s'" from one of his recent ones.
I may have just missed it, but I'd find it really amusing to see him review something like Memento. That's probably the best-done movie to hit his lilly-white suburban multi-plex lately. If he ever ventured into the parts of the world where a lot of the geeks he claims mouthpiece status for live (the *gasp* CITIES), he could try his hand at discussing the sucesses and failures of something like "The Luzhin Defence", the film adaptation of V. Nabokov's brilliant work on obsession "The Defense". That would be fun to see. (Although it would be much more fun to see the confused looks on his face all the way through either movie.)
Alas, he stays true to going to bad movies with pretty pictures and lots of shiney things and then panning them because everyone else has as well.
This guy doesn't like anything, does he?
Jurrasic Park 3 certainley wasn't original, but it definatley was entertaining- there's something to be said for a movie that's just a good time, and nothing more. Do we need to break new ground with every flic, and have each be of the highest art? No. Often, as long as it's fun to watch, thats good enough. As usual, don't listen to Katz, go see Jurrasic Park three, it's fun.
Incidentally, The Fast and the Furious is also a dumb movie, but worth the $8, 'cause it's entertaining.
Final Fantasy was a good movie if you enjoy Sci-fi AND fantasy, and was wonderful eye-candy.
Perhaps we can have Hemos, or CmdTaco do the movie reviews. Katz seems to hate everything, so why bother reading his reviews?
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms should be the name of a store, not a government agency.
Find someone technologically inclined with a bachelors in English, so we can avoid brilliant front page errors like "So I bolited, skipped illegally across the hallways of the megaplex" (which is only a step above writing in l33t-sp34k). Make the guy/gal a copy editor, and proof read all the articles posted. Maybe they can even write intelligent articles once in a while, because we certainly can't get much worse.
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms should be the name of a store, not a government agency.
The movie studios are up to their old tricks. The TV commercials for Jurassic III take bits of the movie and not only re-arrange them out of sequence but out of context as well. The purpose of this, of course, is to make the movie seem more exiting than it really is.
;-) The previews were arguably ten times better than the movie they were from.
They did the same thing with The Phanom Menace. There were four previews/ads. All of them made the movie seem to be incredibly intense and wonderful. NONE of them had Jar Jar
- Spryguy
- Spryguy
There are three kinds of people in this world: those that can count and those that can't
Maybe Katz (no relation) was thinking of Gwyneth Paltrow in Emma, the Jane Austen novel on which Clueless was based.
BTW, Reese Witherspoon stole the show in her 1991 film debut, The Man in the Moon.
The TV trailer says "Different island, different monsters..." and should end my saying "same film".
Ho hum for the life of a bear
If you haven't seen JP3 yet, and you want to actually read a real review of the movie and not the stupid shit that Jon Katz likes to spew out, then check out Roger Ebert's review. I think his review of JP3 is very well done.
Snippets follow, curtesy of the simpsons. The broadway show has now been in preparation for I don't know how many years! I can't wait for it to come out!
"Dr. Zaius"
Ape: Help, the human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape.
Ape: [gasping] He can talk!
Apes: [in unison, rythmed] He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
Troy: [singing] I can siiiiiing!
[funky beat of "Rock Me Amadeus" starts playing]
Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: Want a second opinion.
Zaius: You're also lazy.
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
[one ape starts breakdancing]
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before!
[plays piano]
"You'll Never Make a Monkey Out of Me"Troy: [singing] I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me
Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Troy: Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey out of you
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
~
I have to agree with that statement. Although the original Planet of the Apes seemed to be sort of a B-movie it contrasted highly with the points in the film (Humans cannot talk, etc) and the acting of Heston making it seem more than a B-movie. I only say that because it seems like Heston had graduated from making epic movies (Ben-Hur and Ten Commandments) to cult movies (though a lot smaller budget) like Omega Man, POTA, and Soylent Green. Even though the sci-fi films he made in the latter part of his career may not have had the production values of other of his films the acting that he did in those films was nonetheless usually on mark as in the statue of liberty scene at the end of Planet...you can truly sense his disgust and rage with humanity.
I did read the novel by Pierre Boulle back in the 8th? grade and thought it was very good but in a different way than the movie.
I hold hope for this new interpretation of Planet though because I love Burton's movies (Batman, Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands) but it's always tricky when you do remakes....especially of classics (or cult classics).
"sweet dreams are made of this..."
Anime is the Japanese word for animation. Well, more correctly, it is the standard shorthand for fAfjffVff" which is the katakana for "animation".
I am a beginning student of Japanese, and do not claim to be a master of anything (ok, I rock on GT3), but IIRC, the Japanese tend to shorten lots of things. I.E. Famicom for the Japanese Nintendo. Short for Family Computer.
Imagine this fan-boy otaku's chagrin when he realised "anime" is just truncated English!
GTRacer
- Need to study Nihongo some more...
Defending IP by destroying access to it? That makes sense, RIAA/MPAA. Go to the corner until you can play nice!
Less action than JP2, but thankfully a couple less glaring plot holes.
Hearing a phone from inside a dinosaur's belly, and again in his excrement pile later is a really far fetch. None so much as a T-Rex getting out, eating shipmates, and returning to his pin though...
If you want to computer animate dinosaurs again for your movie, please try to get a better shuttle to the screen than Jurassic Park again Hollywood.
Sheesh, we only saw the 'Park' proper in the first film... But no, you had to release dinosaurs at the end of this movie to threaten us about a forth. I assume those were Quetzalcoatlus'?
Oh, come on. Do they have to say "shan't?"
I got my Linux laptop at System76.
It didn't though. But it wasn't really a kick in the nuts either. No worse than I thought it would be.
Anyone who went to see Jurassic Park 3 expecting a movie experience that included more than pretty dinosaurs must have been in serious denial. I mean what the hell did you expect? "Oooh, a second sequel to a cheezy dinosaur movie! Break out the oscars!"
It's a special effects movie, and people should have known that going in. Just accept it for what it is._ __
_______________________________________________
Jeezus Christ people, he wrote a movie review and hit a few wrong keys on his keyboard. Give him a break. Opinion = should not influence you. Shut up. The complete grammar and english check was totally uncalled for. Until everyone writes perfect comments and you submit an article without errors or any shape or form, shut up.
So I bolited, skipped illegally across the hallways of the megaplex to write a weekly wrap-up instead.
"Bolted" is spelled wrong. "Illegally" is misplaced. There should probably be an "and" after the comma.
What can you say about a week in which the most entertaining movie was Legally Blonde? Hang on for Planet of the Apes next Friday.
Well, you seemed to say quite a bit. If you were serious the article would have ended there. What can you say about a review that confirms its futility in the first paragraph?
We are deep into the summer doldrums, and to what is shaping up as a sub-par movie summer.
This sentence doesn't read well. Say it out loud. The phrase "sub-par movie summer" should not be used by a professional writer.
Score (Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando) is a stylish, genial, high-end crime saga, one of those old-style movies in which the good guys are classy, harm no one, have high ethical standards, and have the neatest tools in the world. The movie is a bit flat and predictable.
One sentence, three lists, eight commas. Following that ornate creation, we have the choppiest sentence in the article. Interesting juxtaposition.
The movie is worth seeing, if only to see these good actors, atmospheric scenes of Montreal, and an aging Brando do one or two neat scenes that suggest the great actor still has it.
"Seeing" or "see", one of them has to go. Professional writers generally don't use the adjective "neat", unless they mean "tidy."
Witherspoon plays a seemingly brainless but good-hearted Malibu-Barbie type who applies to Harvard Law School to pursue her snotty boyfriend (who dumps her once he's admitted because he needs someone more serious) and who, in the name of diversity, gets admitted.
Whoa.
But still, this is the most enjoyable movie I saw all week, which says something.
But we know not what.
The truth is, when push comes to shove, any film is often simply about the writing, something that did in Final Fantasy, and the writing in this one is just terrible.
Again, whoa. On of the first two prepositional phrases has to go. The rest of the sentence is terrible and should be srapped. Bad use of pronouns, undescriptive adjectives, and questionable sentence structure.
I hope I wasn't too hard on you. Your sentence structure would improve a great deal if you chose more appropriate adjectives.
Art At Home
That katz lately has said he walked out the theatre or has been tempted to? Is this because so he doesn't have to write a review, doesn't feel like seeing it? Or that the movies are truly horrible?
Slashdot Hypocrisy at work?
I don't know what this one will bring, but doubt that it has the depth of the original.
Click here or here.
I do not understand why the studios want to promote movies so far in advance... I mean, I just saw the Spiderman trailer. It will come out this time NEXT year. By the time Lord of the Rings comes, I doubt I will be pumped to see it.
Click here or here.
I had heard that for the 30th anniversary they were going to have James Cameron or John Carpenter (I can't recall) direct a remake with Arnold Swartzenagger as Taylor. What happened?
Click here or here.
How are we supposed to attack the presiding notion of Free Software and Peer to Peer as being havens for social agitators and communists if we've got movie swiping criminals like Katz speaking for us?
Way to set back the movement, JK. Couldn't you just have accepted the lame dinosaurs and toughed it out???
Hey freaks: now you're ju
It's sad when this is the best movie I've seen this summer. Both AI and FF were tediously boring.
Uh, yeah, rip off Aliens much? Anyone else catch themselves whispering "What do you mean 'They cut the power'. They're animals, man!".
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Slashdot requires you to wait 2 minutes between each submission of comments.pl in order to allow everyone to have a fair chance to post.
It's been 1 minute since your last submission! Yeah, thanks Taco you asshole. Us people stuck with shitty metered net access appreciate your fucking lame programming when we happen to be fast typers and post two relevant comments in quick succession. You are a cunt.
Synchronized cocks!
Try it next time you watch a movie. Generally between 22 and 28 minutes, something major to the plot will happen.
Katz is a fool. I mean God, I say through Reanimator from start to finish, and that was on video which I could have stopped at any time. If I could do that I'm pretty sure a hack like Katz could have given the movie 30 minutes instead of defrauding the theatre.
Synchronized cocks!
Katz does it for free. So if i'm not mistaken he can't be fired.
"it was a dark and stormy night"
Did they finish editing the movie yet?
Last I heard there had been a helluva lot of last minute scrambling around that movie.
Doesn't usually bode well.
Oh, and Final Fantasy is one of the better, accessable, pieces of anime I've seen. I can't wait to watch the subtitled Japanese version of the story that wasn't dumbed down for Americans.
I fear for the future of this country if so many people had trouble following the plot of a fairly straightforward anime.
I would have liked this movie to have been an all-out invasion of the island by US Armed Forces and completely wipe it out. Talk about special effects! Wow! I think it would have been the best of the three movies if they went in that direction.
Instead, they give us a 90 minute rehash of the first two movies. (A system fails. In this case the plane. You are dropped in their midst. Then: Run, baby, Run!!)
Hank Azaria, who plays a Spanish actor and Catherine Zeta-Jones' love interest. stole the show and is worth seeing because of him. For eye candy, you can peep Catherine-Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts. Worth the free movie pass I used to see this flick.
100% Insightful
Would Ah-nuld or Stallone come out with guns? Or would Steven Segal open up a truckload o' whoop-ass on the lizards? ;)
What was he expecting -- "Schindler's List" with dinosaurs? The Jurassic park series is simply the heir apparent to Godzilla movies. Lots of action, cool FX, fun to watch, fairly easy to forget. You know what you're getting. The preview says it all -- which trailer did Jon watch?
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Stay in school, kids! Peace out, Dubya
has got to be the most successful (appealing to the masses and monetarily) movie of the year. While young, I grew up watching countless reruns of Planet of the Apes --- hell, my first view of the Statute of Liberty was in Planet of the Apes. Destroyed, of course. But, it was my first image of the statute.
"There ought to be limits to freedom"
This movie has us believe that raptors aren't just intelligent, they're super intelligent - smarter than primates...even smarter than Sam Neill! (Definitely smarter than the screenwriters.) Weren't they just "clever" in the first movie? Now they all gather and confer before killing someone. At this rate, by JP4 they'll all be using Debian Linux, wearing monocles and twirling mustaches: "Well, Dr. Grant, we meet again. You shan't escape me a third time!"
I dunno.... 25 minutes into Charlie's Angels, I figured out that getting in my car and driving to see the movie was on par with just taking the $8 I spent and wiping my ass with it.
"You're getting brutal, Sark. Brutal and needlessly sadistic."
"Thank you, Master Control"
-Sark and the MCP
OK, look! Jurasic Park has dinosaurs! Dinosaurs are fun! Legally Blonde has dumb chicks! Those are not fun!
Eat my nuts, Witherspoon! GRRRR!!!
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Sig
Ever since I subscribed to digital cable, I've been hooked on the Independent Film Channel. These guys know how to pick *intellegent* films.
I haven't been to the theaters in months (to see Memento - awesome film by the way). And when I do go I feel spammed. All those damn commercials before the film and that sick feeling of being used. Wish there was an organic delete button for bad commercial memories.
Some rightous films that have been on IFC lately:
Little Box of Moonlight
What's the Story, Tigerlily?
Nosferatu, The Vampyre
Pi
Man Bites Dog
There are a sheit load of other good ones - these just come to mind right now.
Remember children - there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
cos that's the most, ah, bellowed word throughout.
ERIC (through bullhorn) ERIC eric
erIC EriC E*R*I*C eriC
eric eric eric ErIc ERIc eric eric
speilberg's dialog is even more retarded than
usual, which seems impossible considering how
stupid it was in the last movie.
i'd have liked this movie more if it had no
dialog at all.
personally, i think you are all fools for leaving the movie. while it is just a spinoff mini-story on the first movie, it was better than the 2nd one. also, in a movie like that, who cares about the plot? its all about ILM and SkywalkerSound.
The dog got loose on my computer, and now there's XP all over the screen. -Paul www.ploeb.net
Fifteen seconds? Twenty?
I've worked in publishing. People get fired every day for making mistakes less than this.
It is just shoddy.
"Enough of this wretched, whining monkey life." -- Marcus Aurelius, _Meditations_, Book 9, 37
Jean-Luc Godard said: "The best way to criticize a movie is to make another movie."
Jon: make sure that your first 10 minutes are interesting, funny, insightful, and artistically masterful on their own, or else Godard and Joe Johnston will walk out on you.
Hmm, lets see. 30 minutes in what exactly happend. The plane crashed, damn, didn't see that one coming and we find out that our millionaire sponsor is a fraud. Gee, I never thought William H. Macey would get stuck as a loser trying to lie his way into/out of a bad situation. :: coughfargocough ::
After 30 minutes, did Jurasic park get better? Sure did. Because now we have ammo for bad jokes. Most enticing of which is Alans dream, after that, you can't do anything but sit back and put stupid voices with even more idiotic comments than the writers gave the actual characters. Although that was deffinatly a tough task.
Im affraid I for one enjoyed Jurasic park III, although it wasn't a major event happening in the first 30 minutes. There was a general crappiness to the movie that, when in the right company, provides for a crapulence of hilariously bad puns.
It was still a waste of $8 film wise.