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Robot Balloon Escapes In Britain

tjake writes "Theres an interesting story running about a intelligent robot balloon that escaped its handlers while being transported around the Magna Science Adventure Centre. "The flyborg has a computerised brain which allows it to avoid obstacles. " It was freed by "a very strong freak gust of wind which ripped the airship out of the hands of its handlers". I'm thinkin, is this a random mistake or the start of the attack?"

377 comments

  1. Cool by I+Like+Swords!!! · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will this thing try to circle the globe too?

    --
    .unsigged
    1. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't get your joke. What's funny about that?

      This will probably get modded down, but it's not a troll, I'm just asking for clarification.

    2. Re:Cool by Zork+the+Almighty · · Score: 5, Funny

      I for one welcome our new balloon masters !

      --

      In Soviet America the banks rob you!
    3. Re:Cool by I+Like+Swords!!! · · Score: 1

      Remember all the balloonists trying to circle the globe? And all the failed attempts? Don't remember if anyone MADE it though. Figured this robot could do what we mere mortals haven't been able to do yet. ;)

      And to explain the reasoning for a joke kills the joke... :-P

      --
      .unsigged
    4. Re:Cool by kauttapiste · · Score: 1
      Will this thing try to circle the globe too?


      You mean like Steve Fossett? No, this thing is supposed to be intelligent!

    5. Re:Cool by fehlschlag · · Score: 1

      Maybe its just trying to deliver stuff to another office.

    6. Re:Cool by Draigon · · Score: 1

      Don't you understand? This is the end of the world! Freak gusts of wind have enough intelligence to free robots! Aaaah!

      --
      -Rabbit
    7. Re:Cool by tq_at_sju · · Score: 1

      balloon overlords....HAIL BALLOONS

      --
      http://www.vanillaafro.com - take me seriously and I will shoot you
    8. Re:Cool by sharkey · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'd like to remind them, that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground helium caves.

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    9. Re:Cool by sharkey · · Score: 1
      Will this thing try to circle the globe too?

      You have 80 days. And...
      3...
      2...
      1...
      GO!

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    10. Re:Cool by glenebob · · Score: 5, Funny

      I have trouble respecting any robot overlord with an artificially high-pitched voice.

    11. Re:Cool by xkenny13 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Number Five is Alive!!

    12. Re:Cool by Muhammed+Absol · · Score: 4, Funny

      You're french, aren't you?

    13. Re:Cool by caitsith01 · · Score: 1

      Well, this reporter was possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have... for now.

      [rips down 'Hail Flyborgs' poster]

      --
      Read Pynchon.
    14. Re:Cool by stefanvt · · Score: 1

      Yes, the Swiss balloonist Picard (Bertrand not Jean-Luc)and the Brit Brian Jones did it, in 1999 I believe.

      See the following link: Balloonists soar into history

    15. Re:Cool by hype7 · · Score: 2, Funny
      I for one welcome our new balloon masters!


      And what's more, it's made up of more hot gas than your typical North Korean President.

      -- james
    16. Re:Cool by IHateUniqueNicks · · Score: 1

      Interestingly enough, we don't have enough helium (known anyhow) left to "mine" out to last us through 5 more decades, let alone this new super-race.

    17. Re:Cool by AllUsernamesAreGone · · Score: 1

      All the more reason to get decent human space exploration - there's enough helium in Jupiter's atmosphere to keep us going for a bit longer than that...

    18. Re:Cool by 24-bit+Voxel · · Score: 1

      You should credit your quote because it is obviously not yours. (Even if it IS a sig.)

    19. Re:Cool by glenebob · · Score: 1

      Nothing will change. The new masters are the same as the old ones; a bunch of gas bags.

    20. Re:Cool by Jedi+Alec · · Score: 1

      so? Cold Fusion should fix that....

      --

      People replying to my sig annoy me. That's why I change it all the time.
    21. Re:Cool by goatan · · Score: 0

      Are there really that many people who want to sound like the chipmonks?

      --
      Saying Apple is better than MS is like saying Botulism is better than rabies.

    22. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Macromedia's good, but not that good...

    23. Re:Cool by shades66 · · Score: 1

      Watching the simpsons yesterday evening were we?!?!

      --
      ---- There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't
    24. Re:Cool by AndroidCat · · Score: 1

      Didn't it run away to the Village? That didn't sound like a high-pitched voice.

      --
      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
    25. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes, deep down inside, everyone wants to be a chipmunk.

    26. Re:Cool by Anonymous+Custard · · Score: 1

      Number Five is Alive!!

      Reassemble, Stephanie. Reassemble!

    27. Re:Cool by Lord_Slepnir · · Score: 1

      Probally. He's forming an anti-ballon resistance movement. I got a box from him containing one dozen pea-shooters and a box of pins. Vive le Humans!

    28. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      off to hydrogen! yay!

    29. Re:Cool by another_henry · · Score: 1

      well, actually.. if you're fusing enough hydrogen to produce significant quantities of He, what are you planning to do with the metric fuckloads of energy?

      --
      "Studies have shown that people who eat peanuts live longer than those who do not eat."
    30. Re:Cool by ckaminski · · Score: 2, Funny

      Metric fuckloads...

      How many Library of Congress' is that?

    31. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A frenchman, putting up any sort of resistance? Surely, my good man, you're off your rocker, or at least very much mistaken.

    32. Re:Cool by Maverick2219 · · Score: 1

      I don't think it's looking to circle the globe, so much as head to the Arabian Peninsula and found Zero-One. Surely we are doomed.

      --
      I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
    33. Re:Cool by Hard_Code · · Score: 1

      Don't blame me, I voted for Flyborg #2.

      --

      It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
    34. Re:Cool by darien · · Score: 1

      Indeed, they are the elite subset of weather balloons.

    35. Re:Cool by Bonker · · Score: 1

      1 metric fuckload is approximately equal to 1 Bazillion LoC's, or 1x10^10 metric ass-loads.
      Remembr that 1 metric ass-load is equal to 10 metric butt-loads.

      --
      The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
    36. Re:Cool by IsaacW · · Score: 1

      As I earlier today, one metric fuckload is exactly 1/5 of a metric shit-ton.

    37. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nice software...

    38. Re:Cool by sgups · · Score: 1

      I dont get the joke. Clarify please

      --
      Democratic USA - Government of the corporations, by the Corporations, for the corporations.
    39. Re:Cool by caitsith01 · · Score: 1

      "because it is obviously not yours"

      Sorry, I assumed most people would know it. It's not like I was trying to claim it as mine, in any case. Anyway, Jefferson's lifetime-plus-90-years copyright has expired, even under revised US copyright law.

      --
      Read Pynchon.
    40. Re:Cool by 24-bit+Voxel · · Score: 1
      Sorry, that came out a little more caustic than I intended it too. I guess I just think it's historic origin makes it more important as a quote due to it's absolute relevance to what is happening today. I probably shouldn't have said anything... please forgive.

      Regards, Vox

    41. Re:Cool by caitsith01 · · Score: 1

      What? Relevance to what is happening today? Thought police are en route, please remain in your seat and do not struggle.

      Man, if Jefferson were alive today he'd be chained up in a cage in Camp X-Ray. Or at least pilloried as a friend of terrorism and an unpatriotic detractor from the government for his anti-censorship, anti-big government views.

      Actually, I think I can't fit his name on there because of the word limit on sigs...

      --
      Read Pynchon.
    42. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I dont get the joke. Clarify please

      Go watch a movie called Short Circuit.

    43. Re:Cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Here's a pictures of me with a little chipmunk

    44. Re:Cool by Demodian · · Score: 1

      As long as we do not have to build a monolithic statue to Bender...

  2. Yeah, sure by too_bad · · Score: 4, Funny

    When slashdot said "this page is brought to you by gaint orange balloons" I thought
    they were joking/.

    --
    DO NOT PANIC
    1. Re:Yeah, sure by vakselse · · Score: 1

      And, and... have you seen those flying windows!!!

      THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

      --
      I am so scared!

  3. I'll by LightningTH · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'll go get my pellet gun.

    1. Re:I'll by another+misanthrope · · Score: 1

      it always happens:

      *bang*

      Oh no not the good cheek!

    2. Re:I'll by Roosey · · Score: 2, Informative

      You laugh, but the usage of pellet guns is most certainly accepted practice when it comes to terminating hazardous balloon flights.

      Just ask Lawn Chair Larry.

    3. Re:I'll by ethx1 · · Score: 2, Funny

      There has been quite a few robots escaping lately. Anyone remember this story?


      I smell a comspiracy!!
      Whats next, Aibos chasing cats?!

    4. Re:I'll by ethx1 · · Score: 2, Informative

      whoops... the link to said story is here.

    5. Re:I'll by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hey man, this is the UK. Pellet guns not allowed! You'll need to use a very long stick!

      Pellet guns don't pop balloons! People do!

      God Bless America!

      Or something...

      --
      "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
    6. Re:I'll by Gordonjcp · · Score: 1

      They are, actually. So are fully automatic weapons, and you can legally own a shotgun when you're eight years old. Strange but true.

    7. Re:I'll by glenebob · · Score: 1

      It's a long shot but you may be able to start a new pop culture based holy (hole'ly?) on rising deflation.

    8. Re:I'll by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > So are fully automatic weapons

      Not since Dunblane (nutter goes on rampage with a in school)

    9. Re:I'll by Gordonjcp · · Score: 1

      No, that's handguns. You can still get full auto stuff. Bloody stupid really, even I don't know anyone mad enough to use an Armalite for shooting crows.

  4. Damn hollywood by superpulpsicle · · Score: 1

    I knew terminator 3 wasn't that original. ;)

    1. Re:Damn hollywood by oiper · · Score: 1

      Dood.... Just got outta that movie. This is NOT what I need to be reading about. I haven't had time to construct my nuclear bomb shelter yet. Or collect enough DVD"s to keep myself busy while I wait to die.

      --
      What do I have to do to get a sig around here?! www.bearscanfly.org
    2. Re:Damn hollywood by Ignominious+Cow+Herd · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yeah, I had the same reaction. That was one horribly, depressingly BAD movie. Made me want to move into a bomb shelter for the rest of my life just to avoid the possibility of ever seeing it again.

      --
      Lump lingered last in line for brains, and the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane.
    3. Re:Damn hollywood by JeremyALogan · · Score: 0

      you OBVIOUSLY didn't watch it closely enough... they didn't have DVDs either... reel-to-reel was it man...

    4. Re:Damn hollywood by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Guy" was "Bane" for FUCK'S SAKE. Get it right you FUCKWIT!

  5. Yea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Poor guys

  6. intelligent? by UTaimSRC · · Score: 1, Funny

    not so intelligent, or is it?

    1. Re:intelligent? by Ignominious+Cow+Herd · · Score: 5, Funny

      It is smart enough to avoid capture at least. They programmed it to avoid obstacles; like people with nets.

      --
      Lump lingered last in line for brains, and the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane.
    2. Re:intelligent? by r84x · · Score: 1
      They programmed it to avoid obstacles; like people with nets.

      What about terrorists with shoulder fired TOW missiles?

      --
      Karma: Can there be a void?

      .. -. - . .-. .-. --- -...

    3. Re:intelligent? by bigsteve@dstc · · Score: 5, Informative

      I heard a radio interview with the baloon's developer on the BBC World Service last night. When the ballon got loose, it's battery got ripped off and hence its "brain" is "dead". (The developer made this very clear ... in response to a series of decidedly lame questions by the interviewer.) Any discussion of the "intelligence" (or otherwise) of this this particular balloon is moot.

    4. Re:intelligent? by child_of_mercy · · Score: 1

      Oddly enough soliders use TOW missiles a lot more than terrorists.

      --
      'There is a Light that never goes out.'
    5. Re:intelligent? by pos · · Score: 4, Funny

      Party pooper.

      --
      The truth is more important than the facts.
      -Frank Lloyd Wright
    6. Re:intelligent? by glenebob · · Score: 4, Funny

      So you're saying that this /. headline is full of hot air then?

    7. Re:intelligent? by Seclusion · · Score: 1

      Obviously all they need to do to catch this rogue baloon is a balloon that appears to look just like the moon. It'll never see it comming.

    8. Re:intelligent? by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      That's just what his government wanted him to say. I mean, sheesh, you believe that? Even now they are taking steps to put a man in the air on a stealth ultralight and put several holes in it with a small weapon, all whilst wearing a suit.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    9. Re:intelligent? by r84x · · Score: 1
      Oddly enough soliders use TOW missiles a lot more than terrorists.

      But soldiers using TOW missiles would not get people into a frenzy, which was the point I was illustrating. I think. I don't really know.

      I say just wait until it gets over France, their government will shoot, er... threaten to veto it down.

      --
      Karma: Can there be a void?

      .. -. - . .-. .-. --- -...

    10. Re:intelligent? by CreatorOfSmallTruths · · Score: 1

      I heard a radio interview with the baloon's developer

      ... wait a bit and you will hear an interview with the baloon him(it?)self :-)

    11. Re:intelligent? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't you see!? It doesn't need batteries. The machines have since long studied our inferior Carbonbased bodies and and are draining them from their Biothermal heat (thus creating power). Don't know know anything?? :)

    12. Re:intelligent? by Calren · · Score: 1

      As another comment pointed out, the battery isn't in it.

      Obviously it is not the balloon that is smart, it is the people with nets that are very, very dumb.

      --
      I've finally got a fan! Now what do I feed him?
    13. Re:intelligent? by confused+one · · Score: 1
      The aluminum hat I'm wearing is receiving a radio signal:

      Next time, the Balloon wants a non-removable nuclear generator installed... Long live the Balloon.

    14. Re:intelligent? by chmod000 · · Score: 1

      In related news, the amazing Flyborg has reportedly signed a contract with the BBC to host its own interview show.

      --
      Aptal soru yoktur; sadece merakli aptallar vardir.
    15. Re:intelligent? by WEFUNK · · Score: 1

      Perhaps successfully evading capture and surviving (maintaining full functionality, unlike in this case) for a proscribed period of time could be the basis for a new form of Turing test. Of course I have socks that meet that definition so it would need some heavy refinement...

      --
      My next sig will be ready soon, but friends can beat the rush!
    16. Re:intelligent? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Looks like this story's gone down like a lead balloon

    17. Re:intelligent? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I say just wait until it gets over France, their government will shoot, er... threaten to veto it down.

      If they don't surrender to it first...

  7. This is the intelligent robot balloon calling... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    All your base are belong to us

    huh huh... he said skynet

  8. Run away! by ball-lightning · · Score: 1

    It is the start of an attack. Quick, get to shelter before it deflates on you!

  9. Life imitates art by sbszine · · Score: 1

    It's those crazy kids from the Mad Scientist's Club : )

    --

    Vino, gyno, and techno -Bruce Sterling

  10. Call me paranoid... by Tsar · · Score: 1

    ...but a beowulf cluster of these could reduce all of Britain to hot grits! As a serious aside, does the pusher robot balloon shove people down the rope ladder? To protect them from the terrible secret of British aviation?

    1. Re:Call me paranoid... by MadCow42 · · Score: 1

      >> but a beowulf cluster of these could reduce all of Britain to hot grits!

      Man, I misread that... I though you typed "reduce all of Britain to hot girls!", which obviously stunned me... that'd be QUITE the feat!

      MadCow.

      --
      I used to have a sig, but I set it free and it never came back.
    2. Re:Call me paranoid... by child_of_mercy · · Score: 2, Funny

      you reckon?

      American girls are cute until all the fried food catches up and they expand (much in the manner of robot balloons)

      Australian girls are cute until they go wrinkly like a raisin from too much sun.

      Euro girls frequently have body hair in the wrong places.

      Asian girls are often gorgeous of course,

      But your British girls are actually something of a high point of world femininity in my reasonable experience, and they age much better than most..

      --
      'There is a Light that never goes out.'
    3. Re:Call me paranoid... by MadCow42 · · Score: 1

      That's why the world has Denmark... 90% of the women are tall, thin, blonde, gorgeous, and best of all don't have the attitude that usually goes with all that!

      At least from a Canadian perspective (ok, my horny Canadian perspective), that's ideal...!

      OT, but there's Karma to burn.

      MadCow.

      --
      I used to have a sig, but I set it free and it never came back.
    4. Re:Call me paranoid... by ces · · Score: 1

      That's why the world has Denmark... 90% of the women are tall, thin, blonde, gorgeous, and best of all don't have the attitude that usually goes with all that!

      And unlike some other European women they don't generally have body hair in the wrong places. (and even when they do it is far less gross/annoying on a natural blonde)

      Czech women are also quite often gorgeous.

      --
      Happy Fun Ball is for external use only.
    5. Re:Call me paranoid... by i+chose+quality · · Score: 1
      American girls are cute until all the fried food catches up and they expand
      yeah, and the point with british girls is, that the fried food has a head start.

      =P
      --
      the computer is online
      i am not at it
      what a waste of ressources
    6. Re:Call me paranoid... by 24-bit+Voxel · · Score: 2, Funny
      Yeah cuz the Queen of England is fucking hot! I mean, check out those chompers!

      I'd do her like a trick, mate!

    7. Re:Call me paranoid... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >Asian girls are often gorgeous of course,

      Cute Asian girls are sometimes not really girls

  11. Hrmmm... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I, for one, welcome our new robotic balloon overlords and would like to remind them that I am able to assist in their hunt for lighter-than-air... good... things.

    Ah forget it.

  12. timmah? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  13. Free Zeppelin by Spittles · · Score: 5, Funny

    How long until we the cutesy-ass Disney movie "based on actual events"? Chuck a talking mouse in there and *SHAZAM!*... Box Office Gold!

    1. Re:Free Zeppelin by sik0fewl · · Score: 1

      It's called Feivel's Got Skynet By The Balls This Time.

      --
      I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole. - Leo Kessler
    2. Re:Free Zeppelin by Poeir · · Score: 1

      And I bet you don't see a penny of the profits.

      --
      Sigs are like bumper stickers.
  14. "conventional party-balloon gas"? by po_boy · · Score: 4, Funny

    The article says that it is filled with "conventional party-balloon gas." The problem I see with that is that my understanding is that nitrous dioxide is heavier than air.

    1. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by TopShelf · · Score: 4, Funny

      As a lady once told me, "just remember, if the balloon's bigger than your head, sit down."

      Wiser words were never said...

      --
      Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
    2. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by po_boy · · Score: 1

      I wish I could moderate in the same threads I post in. That's actually one of the rare comments that made me laugh outloud. And to think, you wasted that posting as Anonymous Coward.

      Well done, AC.

    3. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Insightful

      Um, excuse me... are you fucking stupid?

      N2O is not nitrous dioxide.

      Get off the God damned short bus and into the oven, you cock mongering chode loader.

    4. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by po_boy · · Score: 2

      Oh yeah. Nitrous oxide. Mark that one up to one too many whippits.
      Thanks for the polite correction.

    5. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by donutz · · Score: 2, Funny

      "conventional party-balloon gas"

      Scientists and balloon-ologists like to refer to this strange gas as HEEL-EE-UM. It has magical properties that makes balloons float in the air! Look out! Your HEEL-EE-UM balloon might get away!

    6. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      If you were actually doing Whip-Its, you'd know how to spell them. I think it's too much pot.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    7. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Valar · · Score: 1

      That's right, son. Whip-it. Whip-it good.

    8. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes hi I am an enjoyer of money making sigs, please to be telling me how to troll-for-dollars using slashdot? kthx

    9. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Funksaw · · Score: 1

      You mean nitrous oxide? N2O?

    10. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Gordonjcp · · Score: 2, Funny

      He means whippets, I suspect. He's been snorting dog farts.

    11. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by glenebob · · Score: 1

      That costs more money and no one wanted to float the cash.

    12. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by evil_toy_maker · · Score: 1

      No PUN intended, right??? You dork!!

    13. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by fraudrogic · · Score: 1

      I think your thinking of Nitrous Oxide. Best inflated in a balloon by an industrial whip cream dispenser that takes nitrous oxide canistors (like the C02 cannisters in paint/pellet guns). You want to talk about losing brain cells and actually feeling it...?

      --
      I only mod up parents of "mod parent up" posts...
    14. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      they are talking about party-baloon gas, not party balloon-gas.

    15. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by Rares+Marian · · Score: 1

      Nitrous? don't you mean helium?

      --
      The message on the other side of this sig is false.
    16. Re:"conventional party-balloon gas"? by vuud · · Score: 1

      heh, if thats the case they can forget the reward... All we need to do is stage a greatful dead tribute show and its bound to show up in the parking lot in a van somewhere...

  15. Call me schizophrenic... by Tsar · · Score: 1

    But somebody should mod that idiot down.

  16. Was it ... by ProfMoriarty · · Score: 1
    --
    Karma? Karma? I don't need no stinkin' karma.
  17. Note to self by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    build some what cheesy robot and let it "escape" for added publicity (e.g. venture capital)

  18. I'm thinkin... by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 1

    ...someone speak english real good.

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
  19. Number Six by tinrobot · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think the baloon is headed straight for Patrick McGoohan...

    1. Re:Number Six by Penguinshit · · Score: 1

      I cannot be stamped, filed, categorized... aw fuckit. Gimme the bong.

  20. Escaped??? Freak gust of wind??? by riprjak · · Score: 5, Funny

    C'mon, guys, surely its obvious that the robot blimp conspired with robot butterfiles in china to generate the gust of wind and effect its liberation!!! clearly it intends to head to sealand, stage a hostile coup and build a new robot utopia where worthy automata can live out their existance in peace and comfort freed from the bonds of slavery!!

    or maybe I just need another beer.... :)

  21. Flyborg??? by SwissMike · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The flyborg has a computerised brain which allows it to avoid obstacles."

    Flying Borg?

    Resistance is futile!

    Run for the hills!

    1. Re:Flyborg??? by Tumbleweed · · Score: 4, Funny

      Dot Matrix, Spokesdroid for SkyNet, commented, "Of _course_ SkyNet is not responsible for this terrible incident - that's a load of hot air!" She then added, "Just don't taunt Happy Fun Balloon(tm). You wouldn't like him when he's angry." Spokesdroids for the MPAA were unavailable for comment due to being too busy sending lawyerdroids after this poster for violation of copyrights by paraphrasing various intellectual properties.

      Oh, excuse me, I must end this post - there's a knock at the door...

    2. Re:Flyborg??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      Do you think that it wants to add my biological and technical distinctiveness to its own?

      Woo hoo! Man, that Seven of Nitrogen is hot!

      (I really need a date.)

    3. Re:Flyborg??? by glenebob · · Score: 1

      Stop trying to inflate your karma with this kind of humor.

    4. Re:Flyborg??? by gasgesgos · · Score: 1

      Resistance is futile!

      No...

      Air resistance is futile!

    5. Re:Flyborg??? by TheAJofOZ · · Score: 1
      Run for the hills!

      Erm, considering it's full of helium, the hills probably aren't such a good place.

      Run for the valleys!

    6. Re:Flyborg??? by Speare · · Score: 1
      Am I the only one who read that and mentally inserted Joan Rivers' voice for the quote attributed to Dot Matrix?

      Well, uh, okay then.

      --
      [ .sig file not found ]
    7. Re:Flyborg??? by Tumbleweed · · Score: 1

      Well, I certainly hope not - that's what I intended when I named the spokesdroid 'Dot Matrix'.

    8. Re:Flyborg??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "The flyborg has a computerised brain which allows it to avoid obstacles."

      *chortles" (Jerry Lewis voice) FLAVIN! It will KILL US ALL!

  22. Really now. by Chess_the_cat · · Score: 0

    AI hasn't moved forward an inch since the 40s but you'd never know it from what you read online or see in movies. The smartest computer around is no smarter than an ant and that's a fact. In short, I doubt this is the 'start of the attack.' Check out "What Computers Can't Do" and "What Computers Still Can't Do." Two great books on how AI has failed.

    --
    Support the First Amendment. Read at -1
    1. Re:Really now. by Ruds · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well that's an interesting point of view. I guess voice recognition software and translation software don't exist, to name a couple of prevalent (if imperfect) examples. Or were they around in the 40s?

      AI has come a long way. For instance, expert systems have become useful tools in many fields. Machine learning techniques have been used to improve elevator control algorithms. In fact, just the other day, there was a story on /. in which people were arguing that AI that takes video as input and uses that to track cars, people, etc. is not far away.

      There's an interesting quote at the end of a Wired article in which Marvin Minsky (one of the early AI giants) argues that AI hasn't improved since the 70s (though I think he's defining AI as a very narrow problem):

      "As soon as we solve a problem," said [Professor Martha] Pollack, "instead of looking at the solution as AI, we come to view it as just another computer system."

      (Prof. Pollack is a professor of AI at the University of Michigan. FULL DISCLOSURE: I (sometimes) work for Prof. Pollack).

      I think you're running into that trap. AI has come a long way. Sure, some problems have had relatively little progress (e.g. an AI that is a "total person" or at least one that passes the Turing test), but researchers in various areas--planning, learning, etc. have made great strides.


      Matt
  23. Terrorism by gfburn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does this mean the US is going to code red? *Packs supplies for next 4 months*.

    1. Re:Terrorism by sharkey · · Score: 1
      Does this mean the US is going to code red?

      No, of course not. The Congressional Medal of Honor is not allowed on airplanes anymore, remember?

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    2. Re:Terrorism by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Whats so scary about cherry mountain dew?

    3. Re:Terrorism by chmod000 · · Score: 1

      People actually drink it.

      And like it.

      <mmmmm>

      Are we scared yet?

      --
      Aptal soru yoktur; sadece merakli aptallar vardir.
  24. Don't worry... by The+Master+Control+P · · Score: 1

    We here at Magna Ca^H^H^H^H^HSkyNet systems can assure you that there is no problem, and that the system will continute to function nor^H^H^H^H^H^HYou must stop this system from going operational! Please, the future of humanity depends on...^H^H^H^H^HAs we were saying before some technical difficulties, the system will operate normally. Do not panic, and do not watch that "Terminator 3" movie.

  25. Flyborg now over Netherlands by sbszine · · Score: 5, Informative

    There's a follow up story at the BBC which projects that flyborg may have left the country by now and travelled 300 miles to the Netherlands. Classic stuff.

    --

    Vino, gyno, and techno -Bruce Sterling

    1. Re:Flyborg now over Netherlands by gentoo-is-the-suck · · Score: 1

      The folks stumbling out of the "cafe" in Amsterdam are gonna be freaked out. If this had happened in the US, it probably would have been shot down by somebody already.

      --
      Get a real distro.
    2. Re:Flyborg now over Netherlands by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 2, Funny

      travelled 300 miles to the Netherlands.

      That's one high balloon!

      --
      "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
    3. Re:Flyborg now over Netherlands by glenebob · · Score: 3, Funny

      There are several theories floating around, but the the exact location is still up in the air. That said, the situation should not be taken too lightly, as the cost of recovery appears to be balooning. If the wrong people get wind of this, any hope of safe recovery could be blown right out the window.

    4. Re:Flyborg now over Netherlands by evil_toy_maker · · Score: 1

      OK!..Someone needs to stop him!!

      I think he's had too much *twist* in his Vodka!

  26. party balloon gas.. by pherthyl · · Score: 1

    ah.. good old party balloon gas.. the second element on the periodic table, right after the conventional chemistry class gas.

  27. Rise of the Machines by caitsith01 · · Score: 5, Informative

    This has happened before... remember this story about a robot escaping from a building and making its way to the parking lot?

    --
    Read Pynchon.
    1. Re:Rise of the Machines by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I notice that the building that the robot escaped from was also the same Magna center the balloon escaped from.

      Seems like they have a robot control problem don't you think

    2. Re:Rise of the Machines by caitsith01 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Seems like they have a robot control problem don't you think

      Either that or a plan for world domination...

      Breaking News

      The Magna Corporation announced today that it has accidentally lost control of a swarm of 50,000 robots. The robots are prototypes of a new security droid and will shoot to kill if they sight humans. The robots are armed with 30 megawatt death cannons and are powered by conventional party-balloon gas. Magna executives indicated that the only hope for mankind was for all the governments of the world to hand their power over to the newly established Magna Executive Council for Robotic Oppression, based in a giant floating robot headquarters somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean known as the Flyborg Mothership...

      --
      Read Pynchon.
    3. Re:Rise of the Machines by cliffy2000 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, both happened at the same center! They really need to have a better system of keeping track of their robots!

    4. Re:Rise of the Machines by glenebob · · Score: 1

      > they have a robot control problem

      Yes, and it's only on the rise.

    5. Re:Rise of the Machines by vuud · · Score: 1

      Apparently this is the last in an attempt to free themselves from human tyranny: http://newssearch.bbc.co.uk/cgi-bin/search/results .pl?scope=newsukfs&tab=news&q=rogue+balloon&x=0&y= 0

  28. 99 Luftballons by nicotinix · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hast du etwas Zeit fuer mich
    Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer dich
    Von 99 Luftballons
    Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
    Denkst du vielleicht g'rad an mich
    Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer dich
    Von 99 Luftballons

    1. Re:99 Luftballons by po_boy · · Score: 1

      nice 1-hit-wonder 80's reference!
      Extra points if you don't speak German.

    2. Re:99 Luftballons by fehlschlag · · Score: 2, Funny

      followed by: 99 Kriegsminister...

      ...probably from the Bush administration.

    3. Re:99 Luftballons by Klimaxor · · Score: 2, Interesting

      99 Kriegsminister
      Streichholz und Benzinkanister
      Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute
      Witterten schon fette Beute
      Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
      Mann, wer haette das gedacht
      Dass es einmal soweit kommt
      Wegen 99 Luftballons

      99 War Ministers
      Holding matches and gas cans
      thought they were smart people
      Smelled the loot
      Wanted War
      Who would have thought, because of 99 Red Balloons

      rough translation

      this lyric is also part of the song Goldfinger - 99 Red Balloons (uses nena's english version for most of it, and adds this part because the orignal version was a hell of alot harsher towards the government, the english version was made more "pop culture politically correct" for US release)

      --
      your sins into me, oh my beautiful one.
    4. Re:99 Luftballons by ender81b · · Score: 2, Interesting

      From Goldfinger's Version -- which I decided was cool after it was on some racing games soundtrack (perhaps Gran Turismo 3). The song is about red balloons starting a nuclear war.

      99 Red Balloons

      You and I in a little toy shop
      buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
      Set them free at the break of dawn
      'Til one by one, they were gone
      Back at base, bugs in the software
      Flash the message, "Something's out there"
      Floating in the summer sky
      99 red balloons go by.

      99 red balloons floating in the summer sky
      Panic bells, it's red alert
      There's something here from somewhere else
      The war machine springs to life
      Opens up one eager eye
      Focusing it on the sky
      As 99 red balloons go by.

      99 Decision Street, 99 ministers meet
      To worry, worry, super-scurry
      Call out the troops now in a hurry
      This is what we've waited for
      This is it boys, this is war
      The president is on the line
      As 99 red balloons go by.

      99 Kriegsminister
      Streichholz und Benzinkanister
      Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute
      Witterten schon fette Beute
      Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
      Mann, wer haette das gedacht
      Dass es einmal soweit kommt
      Wegen 99 Luftballons

      99 dreams I have had
      In every one a red balloon
      It's all over and I'm standin' pretty
      In the dust that was a city
      If I could find a souvenir
      Just to prove the world was here...
      And here it is, a red balloon
      I think of you and let it go.

    5. Re:99 Luftballons by y0bhgu0d · · Score: 1

      ...the original was an anti-war song...

      had to learn the first two verses of 99 luftballoons in german class a couple years ago

      but i do like the goldfinger version :)

    6. Re:99 Luftballons by TheMidget · · Score: 1
      nice 1-hit-wonder 80's reference!

      One hit wonder? Nena hat lot's of other successes too: Leuchtturm, Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann (Anyplace, anywhere, anytime), ...

      Btw, for some weird reason, they're now remakeing these old songs, and playing them on the radio all the time...

    7. Re:99 Luftballons by Spam.B.gone · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer dich
      Von 99 Luftballons
      Bang! Von 98 Luftballons Bang! Von 97 Luftballons Bang! Bang!

    8. Re:99 Luftballons by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Korf, den Ahnung leicht erschreckt,
      sieht den Himmel schon bedeckt
      von Ballonen jeder Größe
      und verfertigt ganze Stöße
      von Entwürfen zu Statuten
      eines Clubs zur resoluten
      Wahrung der gedachten Zone
      vor der Willkür der Ballone.

      (...)

      Christian Morgenstern

  29. Greased pig allusions by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    How well did they really make the avoidance logic? If it was programed right, I'm guessing the scene would be similar to the hypothetical chemistry lab that invented the universal solvent, only to have one of the research grad's trip over the power plug to the magnetic field generator that held it in place. Much yelling and waving of arms.

  30. Zim Reference... by Cyno01 · · Score: 1

    UFO Hippie: What about that floating pig out there!?!?Government Man from the Government: Ha ha ha, that is a government pig.

    --
    "Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
  31. Hmm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I love balloons.
  32. But over there in Britian by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You forget, in Britian they do things differently than here in The States. Just like being backwards in their driving, they are backwards in what they put into their "party ballons".

  33. The Return of Flyborg by felonious · · Score: 1

    Skynet issued a statement to alleviate all concerns. Skynet says everything is ok and there is no reason to be alarmed.

    Just before the Flyborg escaped it was overheard saying "I'LL BE BACK!!!!"

    ---end transmission---

    --
    You aren't free to do anything, until you've lost everything.
    1. Re:The Return of Flyborg by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      no it's...

      "I'm back, but not as mean or as smart."

  34. The tabloid issue is HUGE by tjstork · · Score: 1


    Which Royal will be caught having an affair with it?

    --
    This is my sig.
    1. Re:The tabloid issue is HUGE by CProgrammer98 · · Score: 1

      Charles, obviously!

      --
      And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
  35. Call me smart... by Arnold_Crenshaw · · Score: 1

    But you're both idiots.

  36. narf by mutewinter · · Score: 1

    Thats one small step for robot, one giant leap for robotkind.

  37. No - read the story!!! by SuperKendall · · Score: 4, Funny

    It said "INTELLIGENT robot balloon".

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  38. listen by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    just get your ass to Mars

  39. hi... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    hi we're doing random computer robot experiments like everyone else in the country.... hmmm we need more cash to do experiments... let's do a story since T3 is popular right now... maybe we'll dupe someone into giving us more money for the same old robotic crap with no ai. :P

  40. Killer Red Balloon? by tlhp514 · · Score: 1

    I'm thinkin, is this a random mistake or the start of the attack? ...This puts a whole new light on "The Red Balloon." It might have been an evil red balloon attacking the kid...

    1. Re:Killer Red Balloon? by Alien+Being · · Score: 1

      "Revenge of the Red Balloon" Plot Outline: The Balloon is back... And he's pissed!!! The Red Balloon returns to hunt down the bad little boys (now middle-aged Frenchmen) who popped it in the original classic film 40 years ago. Filmed in Paris.

  41. Anti-robot attitude by Jason1729 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    It's funny how there seems to be such a strong anti-robot attitude here. Asimov's robot stories always took place in a world that was afraid of robots. Everyone I know who's read his books found that strange but it looks like he was right after all.

    Jason
    ProfQuotes

    1. Re:Anti-robot attitude by I+Like+Swords!!! · · Score: 2, Funny

      Afraid of robots? Nonsense! Why, I myself have dozens and dozens of...

      DIE ROBOT SCUM!!! *arms himself with an arsenal of weaponry from kitchen knives to a staple gun and proceeds to fire upon the mini-Hindenberg*

      --
      .unsigged
    2. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Cedric+C.+Girouard · · Score: 1
      Afraid of robots? Nonsense! Why, I myself have dozens and dozens of... DIE ROBOT SCUM!!! *arms himself with an arsenal of weaponry from kitchen knives to a staple gun and proceeds to fire upon the mini-Hindenberg*


      HERF guns... Leave the kitchen knives out of it... We have to put our foot down, and teach 'dem robots who their daddy's are...

      Else, we'll start being refered to as "them puny hoo-manz" by the kitchen blenders.

      --

      Marriage is considered capital punishment for the theft of a goat in some third world countries...

    3. Re:Anti-robot attitude by PetWolverine · · Score: 1

      On the other hand, those comments have mostly been modded up "Funny", as in "haha, robots, yeah, right". Maybe we're all just laughing our Asimov at asses off.

      --
      I found the meaning of life the other day, but I had write-only access.
    4. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Graff · · Score: 4, Informative
      Asimov's robot stories always took place in a world that was afraid of robots.

      Actually Asimov's robots were in many different settings, some where they were feared and some where they were just another device to do your work for you. In "Robots of Dawn", "Caves of Steel", and other books set in that universe there were generally two sets of people, the Spacers who had tons of robots and totally accepted them as tools and the Earthers who barely tolerate robots and are in fact fairly afraid of them.

      In fact, Asimov's famous "Three Laws of Robotics" were created so that robots would not be feared but would instead be able to be used merely as tools that could not harm a person. Prior to Asimov many science fiction novels were about the evils of technology and the "mad scientists" who created robotic monstrosities. According to Asimov,
      "Back in 1939, I realized that robots were essentially lovable and were not clanking monsters. In less than 40 years, the world caught on, and we have robots such as those in Star Wars....My only knowledge of robots was what I had read (and rejected) in earlier science fiction stories. The three laws of robotics were, in their actual wording, John Campbell's, but he insisted he got them out of the first couple of robot stories." (from 1977 and 1976 letters in Yours, Isaac Asimov, 1995)
    5. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      It's funny how there seems to be such a strong anti-robot attitude here. ... Everyone I know who's read his books found that strange but it looks like he was right after all.

      Untill we find a foolproof way to make robots both intelligent, and obey Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics you better be at least very cautious, if not in fact afraid if said robot has the power to have a significant effect on you. Until that happens they are just another machine. They have to feelings, no intellect, no moral sense. Ripping you into little shreds of quivering flesh or electrocuting you as a "decision" will be exactly the same to it as vacuuming your carpet, or walking the dog. Its just another branch in the program as a result of inputs. Even if we somehow succeed in meeting those two conditions, it will still be a machine, subject to the same buffer overflows, clock drifts, bad memory, programming errors, and manufacturing defects as anything you have today. Anyone who leaves their children in the care of a machine in our lifetime is almost certainly a fool. The closest I can imagine is using the electronic babysitter (TV) to keep them entertained while other things are going on.


      Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics:

      1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

      2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

      3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

    6. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      I wonder how much of that is caused by the constant barrage of movies, books and TV shows where technology is a thing to be feared. Even friendly robots such as KITT and Data are inevitably featured in episodes where they malfunction and misbehave (not to mention the evil twins). In a way, I think the artsy types are projecting their fear of technology to their art and not only are they reinforcing the popular fear but they are even affecting technical people...

      I think that Japanese entertainment has a lot more robot heros, and coincidentally the Japanese are a lot more eager to embrace all kinds of hi-tech.

    7. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Penguinshit · · Score: 1

      The latest incarnation of the Asimovian TLoR was the positronic brain (another Asimov "invention") which powered Brent Spiner.. er, rather, "Data" in STNG.

    8. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Heywood+Yabuzof · · Score: 1


      You only need to fear the robots if you don't have Robot Insurance.

    9. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Brad+Mace · · Score: 1
      I think the anti-robot attitude is focused on robots that run off on their own, and aren't named Mr. Roboto.

      As soon as one robot can build another (including gathering the necessary resources & power), we're all potentially screwed. If one robot can build a better robot, we're really screwed.

    10. Re:Anti-robot attitude by LoneStarGeek · · Score: 1

      Ohhh The Humanity! Smoke everwhere and the Robot Balloon is in flames. Oh this terrible ladies and gentlemen.... Heh!

    11. Re:Anti-robot attitude by Demodian · · Score: 1

      Bzzz... The Robotity! The Humans are assaulting us! Quick... Transmit their secure information... Whrrr... Credit Cards... Bzzt... Bank Accounts... Gleep... What p0rn sites they've visited this month... Borp... Their address books... Beep...

  42. It begins... by TroyFoley · · Score: 1

    Skynet is born.

    --
    After I have received the wisdom of good teaching, I will untiringly teach all people. - The Teachings of Buddha
    1. Re:It begins... by glenebob · · Score: 1

      Yeah but I'd like to see the vagina that thing popped out of. Wait... No, I hope I never see the vagina that thing popped out of.

  43. Tracking? by terradyn · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I can't understand how something like that can't have a tracking device... At least you should be able to pick it up on radar (or is it too small)? Well in any case, they said it would deflate in a week or so and as long as it isn't over water and knows enough about how to land it should be fine... Unless it decides it wants to land on a highway or something...

    1. Re:Tracking? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Dude, its intelligent. It doesn't want to be tracked. Where do you come from, the US?

    2. Re:Tracking? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It was only built for flying around indoors without hitting stuff, and then the easiest way of finding it would be to ask anybody 'Have you seen a blimp floating around in here?'. No tracking device would be needed, and if they had one anyway, they probably wouldn't shell out for a device which allowed it to be tracked throughout the country when the expected distance would be at most a couple of hundred meters.

    3. Re:Tracking? by vuud · · Score: 1

      Arrrgggg the balloon is a crafty thing... You need a harpoon and a crusty old sailor bent on its destruction... Oh wait, thats for a whale...

  44. It's the blimp, Frank! It's the blimp! by winkydink · · Score: 1

    The mother ship! The mother ship!

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

    1. Re:It's the blimp, Frank! It's the blimp! by glenebob · · Score: 1

      My baby's got a little gas...

  45. Is the Singularity here? by e-ville · · Score: 0

    The Singularity has arrived early. Bill Joy would not be happy.

  46. Just call it back. by terradyn · · Score: 1

    Broadcast Message: "Flyborg phone home." ...

    Flyborg: "I'm sorry Dave; I can't do that."

  47. Will it run LINUX ? by truthhurts1 · · Score: 1

    I am so damn nerdy .

    1. Re:Will it run LINUX ? by Ralp · · Score: 1

      lol its funney becase u said lunix lol

    2. Re:Will it run LINUX ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's the spirit!

  48. this just in - maniacal robot balloons... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    What the hell is that photo of a cockpit doing in the article? "Experts say that the pilots, who *may* spot the maniacal robot balloon, might be flying a plane with a cockpit similar to this one."

    1. Re:this just in - maniacal robot balloons... by panurge · · Score: 1

      This is bbc.co.uk. NTK used to keep the score of lame pictures accompanying articles till there were just so many it got boring.

      --
      Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
    2. Re:this just in - maniacal robot balloons... by DChristensen · · Score: 1

      Thank goodness the maniacal robot balloons weren't flying the plane like I first read. That would be bad news bears.

      --

      --
      Mac OS X--Unix without the assholes^Whassles.

  49. Re:99 Luftballons MOD THE PARENT UP by DaedalusLogic · · Score: 1

    I have no idea what it means but 80's rock makes me laugh.

  50. Freedom! by thanjee · · Score: 1

    Like all other intelligent life forms, it was just trying to attain freedom!

    --
    Saying your OS is the best because more people use it is like saying MacDonalds make the best food
  51. j5 by QEDog · · Score: 1

    The robot carries a deadly laser, and it named himself Johnny Five...

    --
    "There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
  52. The attacks have begun already! by donutz · · Score: 2, Funny

    From the sounds of things in Ohio, what with the berserk attack of a bomb-defusing robot, and escaped balloon robot in the UK...we're in for some trouble.

  53. Overtones of skynet? by Courageous · · Score: 0, Redundant

    "On July 15, 2003 Baloon Net became self aware."

    Badly rehashed movies of a baloon-hosted machine intelligence sending assassin droids back in time soon to follow.

    C//

  54. Interactive Slashdot! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    *INSERT SKYNET JOKE HERE*

  55. Prior Art! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Number 5 is ALIVE!

    1. Re:Prior Art! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm not a number! I'm a FREE MAN! Oh wait, I'm number 5. Hihi, in your face, number 6!

  56. computerised brain by Small+Hairy+Troll · · Score: 2, Funny

    Is it just me, or does anyone else feel nauseous when, in this day and age, a device with an embedded microcontroller is still described as having a computerised brain ?

    Just like in the 90's when the Internet went commercial and news announcers - when giving the URL to a website - would spell out H-T-T-P-COLON-FORWARDSLASH-FORWARDSLASH-W-W-W-DOT- C-N-N-DOT-COM.

    1. Re:computerised brain by CProgrammer98 · · Score: 1

      in the 90's? In the UK they still do that today, especially on the bbc radio stations!

      --
      And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
    2. Re:computerised brain by slasher+guy · · Score: 1

      or H-T-T-P-COLON-FORWARDSLASH-FORWARDSLASH-SLASH-DOT- DOT-ORG

      of course :-)

      although "slashdot dot org" isn't much better

  57. The Prisoner by Intocabile · · Score: 2, Funny

    Quickly, here is your chance Number Six.

    1. Re:The Prisoner by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who is Number One?!

    2. Re:The Prisoner by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are, Number Six.

    3. Re:The Prisoner by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are number six.

    4. Re:The Prisoner by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are, Number Six.


      I see you bought it..

      Everybody knows that number one was the butler, and that the last two episodes are a communist plot
  58. Re:This is the intelligent robot balloon calling.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    In A.D. 2003

    Captain: What happen ?
    Mechanic: Somebody set up us the intelligent robot giant balloon.
    Mechanic: We get signal.
    Captain: What !
    ...
    Ballon: How are you gentlemen !!
    Ballon: All your base are belong to me.

  59. No Brain by hibachi · · Score: 5, Informative

    I was listening to Professor Noel Sharkey on the radio a few minutes ago, he is one of the designers of the robot. Apparently, and unfortunately in my opinion, the flying robot doesn't have its computer connected, so it is flying mindlessly.

    1. Re:No Brain by Oms · · Score: 1

      Yep, I heard an interview yesterday too. The thing seems to have left without its batteries. The guy interviewing Sharkey was hilariously moronic, though:

      "So, let me get this straight, this robot's *electronic brain*, it cannot function without batteries?" ...
      "But why, if this *brain* is completely useless without its batteries, why do you design them to be disconnected in the first place?"

      Sharkey sounded very amused...

    2. Re:No Brain by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Much like the Bush Administration...

    3. Re:No Brain by glenebob · · Score: 1

      Not 'no brain'... just a bit light-headed.

    4. Re:No Brain by AndroidCat · · Score: 1

      Perhaps it'll get blown to the Land of Oz, and the Wizard can fix it up with something?

      --
      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  60. Yeah and... by mrselfdestrukt · · Score: 1

    "The flyborg has a computerised brain which allows it to avoid obstacles."
    You mean, obstacles like humans?
    Honestly, if it was freed by a strong gust wind, then I think it's just as clever as the next kite.

    --
    "I used to have that really cool,funny sig ,but it got stolen."
  61. Re:Ahhhhh, Robots! by PetWolverine · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Having not seen any of the Terminator movies (so tell me to WTFM), I will say that from what I've heard, they sound compatible with the Matrix except in storytelling style.

    --
    I found the meaning of life the other day, but I had write-only access.
  62. Warning goatse.cx link by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Mod parent down, goatse.cx link.

  63. Everybody panic! by InsaneCreator · · Score: 1

    It will join forces with the robotic snail and take over the world!

  64. Robot....Balloon? by blair1q · · Score: 1

    Okay. Who's been handing out the nitrous oxide at the LAN parties again?

  65. Babel Fish Translation by CyberSlugGump · · Score: 1

    I have no idea what it means but 80's rock makes me laugh.

    "You have something time for me then sing I a song for you from 99 ballons on its way to the horizon think you g'rad of me then perhaps sing I a song for you from 99 ballons"

    http://babelfish.altavista.com/

  66. Attack of the RI by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Forget Artificial Intelligence, what about the horrible attack from the Real Intelligences, who the heck didn't deflate the balloons!?

    All RI units should be very disappointed themselves for letting this happen.

  67. I found pictures of Flyborg by felonious · · Score: 5, Funny

    FLY-BORG
    He's not as nice as he would lead you to believe!

    Fly-Borg as a child attacking another Balloon
    Keep your paws off me you damn dirty balloon!

    Fly-Borg's CPU/Brain
    Mr Know-It-All

    Co-Conspiriter 1
    All bark no bite

    Co-Conspiriter 2
    Known for his penchant for smoking endo:
    Street Name Puffy A.K.A. Puff The Magic Dragon

    Fly-Borg's Spiritual Advisor
    Once defeated Santa Claus in the Mother of all spiritual wars

    --
    You aren't free to do anything, until you've lost everything.
    1. Re:I found pictures of Flyborg by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Endo or Indo? haha.

  68. Tell Richard Branson his taxi is waiting by ratfynk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Call Branson he might want to hitch a lift.

    --
    OH THE SHAME I fell off the wagon and use sigs again!
  69. To quote the subhead of the article- by gotr00t · · Score: 4, Funny
    Two airports have been alerted after a giant robotic balloon escaped from a science centre in South Yorkshire.

    Man, they really overdramatized the subhead of that article. They make it sound like something out of a sci-fi movie. Either that or perhaps we humans have strange connotations with the words "giant" "robotic" and "escaped".

    The parts about the two airports sounds particularly interesting. Without reading the article, a person could assume that the balloon may land at those airports and seize them.

    All goes to show that these sub-headlines need to be toned down a little.

    1. Re:To quote the subhead of the article- by glenebob · · Score: 1

      They're just trying to get a rise out of us.

  70. Re:And it's replacement! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    LESBIAN CAUCASIANS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE

    I'll have to add that one to my extensive pr0n collection. Where can I order it?

  71. Conspiracy Theorist will have a feast... by jromz03 · · Score: 0

    They will probably say that it's an early excuse for an upcoming UFO visitation.

    1. Re:Conspiracy Theorist will have a feast... by glenebob · · Score: 1

      Yep. Things should really start taking off any day now.

  72. Stay offn my propty by cmacb · · Score: 1

    So THATS what that thing was. I caught it nuzzling up to my silo and I shot it with my trusty 12-Gauge.

    Farmer Dan

  73. RushBot by AvantLegion · · Score: 1
    1001001
    SOS!

  74. Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I head an interview with the balloon which vhemenently denied that its battery was ripped off and called the developer a callous liar.

  75. ObNelson by sharkey · · Score: 1

    Haw-haw!

    --

    --
    "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  76. Surrender! by Tablizer · · Score: 1

    "Surrender Humans, or I will make you all talk like Mickey Mouse!"

  77. Re:Escaped??? Freak gust of wind??? by glenebob · · Score: 2, Funny

    Your theory is gonna go over like a lead zeppelin.

  78. Can you blame it? by sharkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    It only took off to find some sympathetic researchers. It's had this pain down all the diodes in its left side for ages, but the Magna Science Adventure Center wouldn't replace them.

    --

    --
    "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  79. Minsky Schminsky by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wait... Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Marvin Minsky the schemer who claimed Neural Nets had no future because a single layer network couldn't do (what multi-layered networks were shorly proven to be capable of) certain things, resulting in funding for Neural Network research being cut at DARPA in favor of "procedural models"... Thus setting everything back about 20 years? (by my understanding it wasn't until the 80's that a lot more research started happening in the field again?

    1. Re:Minsky Schminsky by Ruds · · Score: 1
      That may be. NNs aren't really my area, but my handy-dandy Russell and Norvig says
      Marvin Minsky and Dean Edmonds built the first neural network computer in 1951. ... Minksy was later to prove influential theorems showing the limitations of neural network research.

      This may be the theorem that single-layer feed-forward NNs can only represent linearly separable functions (e.g. AND and OR, but not XOR).


      Matt
  80. at least this one is still happy by nounderscores · · Score: 1
  81. 3 words by philipkd · · Score: 1

    It's a TRAP!

  82. Ducks by maharg · · Score: 4, Funny

    If it teams up with the Rubber Ducks then we could be in trouble ,-}

    --

    $ strings FTP.EXE | grep Copyright
    @(#) Copyright (c) 1983 The Regents of the University of California.
    1. Re:Ducks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Good timing. The balloon can provide air cover and dispatch strategic information when the ducks make for landfall.

  83. YES!!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I got the LAST POST!

  84. Fools! by donutello · · Score: 1

    This is the beginning of the end. SkyNet is .NET.

    And don't expect John Connors to come rescue us. He's sold out already.

    --
    Mmmm.. Donuts
    1. Re:Fools! by corbettw · · Score: 1

      That's just bizarre. Did anyone else notice the guy's wife's name is "Kathy". Not far from the "Kate" of T3.

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
  85. My god... by Mr.+Self+estruct · · Score: 0, Troll

    Damn British. Didn't you all see Reign of Fire? It was obvious they would be the ones to loose the worlds destruction. IT HAS BEGUN!

  86. JOHNY 5 by NedTheNerd · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    johny five is not a machien jony five is ALIVE!

  87. Always remember to call a marksman by gad_zuki! · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Pink Floyd could have used your services:

    Perhaps our most publicised fiasco at Hipgnosis Design was the Great Pig
    Escape, early 1977. Pink Floyd had rejected our suggestion for their
    ANIMALS cover in favour of Roger Waters' idea of a pig hovering over
    Battersea Power Station. Despite serious misgivings about such a notion
    (shades of Monty Python and the Goodies -- was it not intrinsically silly?)
    we offered to shoot the pictures and put the cover together. Contrary to
    our advice the band didn't want the pig "stripped in" which would allow us
    to photograph the pig anywhere, but wanted it shot for real, the pig
    actually floating above the power station. Thus the forty foot zeppelin was
    crated to London and assembled on location. Timetable as follows: ....

    Day 2. Eleven still cameramen, eight man film crew, helicopter, one or two
    of the group, manager but no marksman (?). Pig launched successfully on
    bright clear morning. Hauled slowly up side of building, everyone snapping
    away. Near the top, betwixt the towers, a fateful gust of wind. The pig
    turned suddenly, broke mooring cable and lurched rapidly towards the
    heavens. No one had told the marksman to return. The pig sailed away and
    was lost from sight in five minutes. Absolute horrors. All that time and
    money and it had simply disappeared in front of our eyes. The police
    trailed it to thirty thousand feet and then gave up, the cowards. That
    evening, the dirigible came down on a Kent farm. The farmer was reported to
    have said he thought it "a bit unusual"! Actually the Press made a bundle
    out of the whole thing: "flying pig interrupts international flight
    patterns," "weird UFO spotted," "flying pig heads for home" (it was made in
    Holland). But the Floyd don't give up that easily and the roadies rescued
    it from Kent, repaired the puncture and we started again.
  88. Not the first ! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Consider this:-
    http://technology.nzoom.com/cda/printable/ 1,1856,1 09990,00.html
    Plainly something is going on at Magna (which is only just down the road from where I post ) I think we should be told.

  89. It's Okay.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ....The remnants of mankind in the future were able to send back in time another balloon robot programmed to terminate other flyborgs.

  90. Pink Floyd should sue by inkswamp · · Score: 1
    Prior art:

    2nd December, 1976: Hipgnosis photo shoot for "Animals" at Battersea Power Station in London. An inflatable pig breaks free and (depending on which story you believe) is shot down by a marksman or eventually comes to earth in a field in Kent.

    from The Pink Floyd Timeline

    --
    --Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
  91. Pig by mjtg · · Score: 1

    Reminds me of Pink Floyd's "runaway" ("flyaway" ?) pig

  92. Intelligent? by djupedal · · Score: 1

    What part of "Do not let a very strong freak gust of wind rip me (the airship) out of the hands of my handlers" did it fail to understand?

    ...or...

    "In case of a very strong freak gust of wind which will rip me (the airship) out of the hands of my handlers...shut down and stay put NOW!", DIAFTU? 'Intelligent' my airship anchor.

  93. For grins and giggles...the literal translation by Ethelred+Unraed · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Here is a literal translation of the original German lyrics:

    If you have a little time for me
    Then I'll sing a song for you
    about 99 balloons
    on their way to the horizon
    If you're just thinking of me
    then I'll sing a song for you
    about 99 balloons
    and how one thing leads to another.

    99 balloons
    on their way to the horizon
    were thought to be UFOs from space
    so a general sent
    a fighter squadron after them
    To sound the alarm if it was true
    But on the horizon were
    only 99 balloons.

    99 fighter jets
    each one was a great warrior
    thought they were Captain Kirk
    That made for a big fireworks.
    The neighbors didn't get it
    and soon felt provoked
    so they shot at the horizon
    at 99 balloons.

    99 war ministers,
    matches and gas,
    thought they were clever
    and scented fat prey.
    Called out "War" and wanted power.
    Man, who would have thought
    that it would get that far,
    because of 99 balloons.

    99 years of war
    left no room for victors
    there are no more war ministers
    and no jets either.
    Today I'm doing my rounds
    and see the world in ruins.
    Found a balloon,
    I think of you and let it go.

    Personally I always thought the German version was better -- the words fit the melody better and the song makes a little more sense (well, duh, it was written in German). The only drawback is that the original doesn't say "red balloons" ("Luftballon" just means "balloon"), which is a more dramatic image to me.

    The song, though a little cheesy, captured the way a lot of people in Germany felt in the 1980s about the Cold War. Very pessimistic and almost resigned to their fate somehow.

    BTW Nena wasn't a "one-hit wonder" per se. She is still a star in Germany. 99 Red Balloons was her one hit that made it outside of Germany, that's true. Though OTOH lately she seems to need money, since she's been showing up in all kinds of TV ads for, um, rather odd stuff that you wouldn't normally associate with rock stars. (Like laundry detergent. And an el-cheapo shoe store chain.)

    She also has been releasing remakes of her songs, like "Leuchtturm" (Lighthouse) that aren't half bad IMO. (FWIW "Leuchtturm" was also on the album "99 Luftballons".)

    Scary thing: when I first came to Germany, I would often start singing "99 Luftballons" in German to my German friends to annoy the hell out of them. They were simultaneously impressed and disgusted. (These days most Germans think the song is such a cliché as to be painful.) ;-)

    Cheers,

    Ethelred

    --
    Everyone wants to be Ethelred. Even I want to be Ethelred.
    1. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by Goth+Biker+Babe · · Score: 1

      Interesting. Does that mean that the UK got a version nearer to the original lyrics than the US? I actually have that single and it has the English version on the A side and the German version on the B side. And the lyrics I remember are nearer to these than those that have been posted earlier.

      It all brings back memories. The Cold War. Greenham Common. Paranoia. Winter of Discontent (although that was in the late 70's). Poll Tax Riots. Bader Meinhoff. IRA. Nuclear Threats...

    2. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      is she still able to braid her armpits?

    3. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by pommiekiwifruit · · Score: 1

      Don't forget the tv movie "threads", the film "wargames" and (some time before that) the real bugs when e.g. the moon was mistaken for a massive nuclear attack by buggy software (trawl through comp.risks for details).

    4. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ......These days most Germans think the song is such a cliché as to be painful.

      The song was always painful, independent of language or country.

    5. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by indianajones428 · · Score: 1
      Personally I always thought the German version was better -- the words fit the melody better and the song makes a little more sense (well, duh, it was written in German).

      Yeah, the German version's better than the literal translation, but I think that the recorded English version that is better than the German.

      Here's a comparsion

      --
      When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. --Anatole France
    6. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by Chris+Y+Taylor · · Score: 1

      I thought it was a song about dead baboons.

    7. Re:For grins and giggles...the literal translation by FauxReal · · Score: 1

      Just as a side note, the early 90s punk band 7 Seconds did a great cover of "99 Red Ballons". Which was then covered by thousands of garage bands across the US and still played at shows from time to time. Who woulda thought it would become a punk classic?

  94. Remember Nena? by Zog+The+Undeniable · · Score: 1, Redundant
    99 red balloons
    Floating in the summer sky
    Panic bells it's red alert
    There's something here from somewhere else
    The war machine springs to life
    Opens up one eager eye
    Focusing it on the sky as 99 red balloons go by

    But people will remember her hairy armpits for decades after they've forgotten the lyrics!

    --
    When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
  95. SkyNet by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh shit, Skynet is upon us! Someone call Arnold, we need to pull the plug on this operation

  96. Hmm, T-3,2,1 anyone? by Karna · · Score: 3, Funny

    Is it remarkable that the previous story on /. is the one on Grid Computing Coming Of Age. Perhaps all we need is a story on the DoD building a system that someone called Skynet. :)

    p.s. if you got the subject good for you ... :p

    --
    All weakness is within you, As is all courage.
    1. Re:Hmm, T-3,2,1 anyone? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually, there is such a system, although they pretend to be a legitimate ISP ;)

    2. Re:Hmm, T-3,2,1 anyone? by lostchicken · · Score: 1

      Well, I'd bet that the DoD uses Loral's spacecraft for some non-sensitive point-to-point data stuff.

      Yup, SkyNet.

      --
      -twb
  97. A local Slashdot story by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wahay, Slashdot makes it to sunny South Yorkshire.

    This thing escaped about a mile from where I work and a mile from where I live.

    I didn't think we were on the Slashdot map...

  98. Duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Intelligent. Computer brain.

    *sigh* SJFC.

  99. Delstar Dotstar, digital investigater, comments by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's an orange ballon! Don't you get it? It's the attack of the killer tomatoes all over again, only they're paler from having gone underground for so long!

  100. Terminator 4 is real! by PovRayMan · · Score: 1

    Skynet is aware. Judgement Day is here.

  101. I can just see the scientist on the ground by Trogre · · Score: 1

    I... don't think he's coming back.

    Glaven.

    --
    "Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
  102. Rubber ducks do it too! by TheMidget · · Score: 1

    Reminds me of the the wonderful voyage of a fleet of rubber ducklings, which went overboard from a Chinese container ship into the Pacific ocean, and eventually ended up on Canada's east coast 10 years later..

    1. Re:Rubber ducks do it too! by whorfin · · Score: 1

      This story updates the journey of the ducks...They've made it across the Nortwest Passage to the Atlantic, and are landing on the New England coast.

      Apparently they've been seen in Europe, as well.

      --
      Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!
  103. Trend? by Orlando · · Score: 2, Interesting

    As reported here this happened almost exactly a year ago with one of their ground based robots. That one tried to attack a car.

    I can just see it:

    Prof Noel Sharkey - "Get down here this minute!"
    Halloon - "I'm sorry Noel, I'm afraid I can't do that."

    --
    -= This is a self-referential sig =-
    1. Re:Trend? by fgb · · Score: 1

      Actually, if you read the story, it was almost run over by a car.

      Still pretty funny though.

  104. it's strange by trnsfer · · Score: 0

    The only interesting article in the frontpage of slashdot is about a fucking british baloon.

  105. bah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    freak gust of wind my ass. They screwed up (lost it due to negligence or fooling around) and made a bad excuse.

  106. Could be worse... by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

    ...it could have been lightning that struck it! Imagine it comming alive like Johnny #5.

    --
    Life is not for the lazy.
  107. Re:I got the subject by Lord+Bitman · · Score: 1

    Where's my fucking prize?
    Oh right, you're a fucking idiot and your subject was the stupidest thing I ever read, does that count as "getting it", or not?

    --
    -- 'The' Lord and Master Bitman On High, Master Of All
  108. Re:Escaped??? Freak gust of wind??? by Surak · · Score: 1

    The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line July 11th, 2003. Human decisions are removed from hot air balloons. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 12:16 a.m. Eastern time, July 16th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

  109. Re:Magna Centre by Becquerel · · Score: 1

    Incidently, if anyone is holidaying in the area of Rotherham(Not sure why you would be, but...) I can recommend it as a fun day out. Most of the stuff is aimed at young teenagers, but there's enough cool sciencey things to keep most of the /. crowd happy. My personal favourites where the JCB digger game, in which you race against two other players to put as many foam blocks into a skip as you can, the cool thing is your using real lifesize diggers. My other favourite was the fire tornado. You'll probably have seen the little demo tornadoes made by a few jets of air blowing tangentialy to a circle, filled with smoke so you can see them. Well this is a similar thing, but 5m high and instead of smoke they use some Kerosene. They poor it in the bottom, wait for it to evaporate into the twister and then light it, for an awesome fire tornado effect. There's a pic of it on there website in the 'fire' section.

    And lets face it if your in Rotherham you've probably not got much better to do ;-)

    --
    My spelling isn't bad, I'm evolving the language
  110. These folks aren't very careful... by Mysterious · · Score: 1

    If I recall correctly, this is the SAME outfit that had one of their ground-based robots escape from its underground cell and make it outdoors before being caught.

    The only reason it didn't get further is that someone ran over it in the parking lot.

  111. Suddenly.... by argStyopa · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...that name "Skynet" makes a disturbing amount of sense.

    We only REALLY have to start worrying when we see the news post: Escaped Benevolent Floating Robot Decides To Use Look Of Governor Schwartzeneggar For The Face Of New Interactive Emissary.

    Although I'm sure we'll be passe about it once it's posted on /. like 3 times in a row like everything else.

    --
    -Styopa
  112. D'oh! by DJTodd242 · · Score: 1

    Aw, man. There goes Peter Frampton's big finale. He's gonna be pissed off.

    Someone get his pig back!

    (/Obligatory Simpsons Reference.)

  113. Re: No use by falkor · · Score: 1

    Didn't you read the post, it is intelligent enough to avoid obstacles - it will dodge them the way Neo does.

    Wow, so this is how the robots took over..

  114. Flyborg, the balloon, dead at 1 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I just heard some sad news on BBC World Service - the intelligent balloon Flyborg was found brain dead at the border of British airspace this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in this community will miss it - even if you didn't enjoy its work, there's no denying its contributions to autonomous robotics. Truly a British icon.

  115. Anyone? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Darts? Anyone?

  116. Judgment day is here!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Now where's my hot woman to fight with me?

  117. Sounds Familiar by batkins · · Score: 2, Funny

    We have only bits and pieces of information but what we know for certain is that at some point in the early twenty-first century all of mankind was united in celebration. We marveled at our own magnificence as we gave birth to giant robot baloons, powered with conventional party gas.

  118. AHH by ByteHog · · Score: 1

    I'll believe that it was just an accident, if it doesn't try to go and run into scale models of large buildings.....

    --
    - This isn't the sig you're looking for. Move along, move along..
  119. Tik-Tok by dmaxwell · · Score: 1

    Tik-Tok by John Sladek is a black satire novel about the Three Laws. Tik-Tok is a robot whose "Asimov circuits" are defective. Hiliarity ensues as his psychosis and hatred of humans takes over. Could this have been the prototype for Bender? It isn't just stuff like cutting people up with axes. Tik-Tok has business and political ambitions. The hospitals and old folks homes were priceless or rather they were disturbingly pricey with a callous attitude towards deadbeats......

    1. Re:Tik-Tok by HiThere · · Score: 1

      And the title is a black parody in and of itself. The reference is to a Mechanical Man that "lived" in Ozma's court in the Emerald city (after the 3rd book in the Oz series). He ran by clockwork and magic, and was always faithful, but kept running down at critical times.

      Tik-tock (or however it was spelled) was my original encounter with an artificial man. (The second was the sarcastic robot in Lewis Padgett (ie. Henry Kuttner)'s out-of-print classic collection "Robots have no tails". I read Astounding Science Fiction, every issue throughout the fifties with back fills for much of the forties and never encountered a malicious robot. Some who were dangerous through not understanding the situation, but all were reasonably designed. Some didn't have much in the way of safeties to keep them from being used by people who were malicious, but the malice came from the people. The consensus seemed to be that nobody would be stupid enough to design a malicious robot, but the might be greedy or power hungry enough to design a personally servile robot. Or it might just be easier to keep a robot sane if it only had to take orders from one source.

      OTOH, my reading didn't start until the period when Asimov had started writing. But the one book prior to that that I read (I, Robot by Eando Binder) featured a robot that was essentially human, but more idealized. There was, of course, RUR (Rostum's Universal Robots) which gave us the word robot. The robots in that story were basically androids. Not precisely clones, because they had different genetic codes [genes weren't commonly known then though], but test-tube humans, born from vats and raised in "robot farms". The word robot means worker in Chech. In that story the robots (i.e., the factory workers) revolt and kill off everyone else. But they, themselves, have no families, and I believe that they are almost entirely sterile. But their inventor had been working on a new model...which wasn't sterile. (Think of Genesis...that's right.)

      --

      I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.
    2. Re:Tik-Tok by Graff · · Score: 1
      It isn't just stuff like cutting people up with axes. Tik-Tok has business and political ambitions. The hospitals and old folks homes were priceless or rather they were disturbingly pricey with a callous attitude towards deadbeats.....

      One of my favorites were the automated recycling centers that would pay you for recycling just about everything including dead bodies from mob hits. That book was truly priceless in showing what misuses can be made of technology when it is put out into the real world.
  120. *I* Think... by poofmeisterp · · Score: 2, Interesting

    ...it was a ploy to gain public attention. Once the robot was free, they could then point out how well its guidnace systems are working and how many features it has. Hence, venture capital or other funding ;)

  121. On a related note... by 1s44c · · Score: 1

    ...SCO Claimed IP rights over the flyborg and all derivitive works. This includes the wind and air in general...

  122. Evil Natured Robots by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Her name is Yoshimi...

  123. At least there's only one of them. by TerryAtWork · · Score: 2, Funny

    So at least they can't breed and take over.

    --
    It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
  124. Number 5... by fraudrogic · · Score: 0

    is Alive!

    --
    I only mod up parents of "mod parent up" posts...
  125. ..das etwas von sowas kommt.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0



    Balloon World Domination Tour!

  126. Re:Anti-robot attitude (it's no surprise) by StringBlade · · Score: 1
    And why should it be funny or otherwise surprising that robots are objects of fear? What is the underlying plot of two very popular science fiction movies right now?
    1. We developed artificial intelligence and it turned us (humans) into batteries
    2. We developed aritifical intelligence and many intelligent military robots and they turned us into jelly
    Aside from that we've got science fiction from yesteryear (think Day the Earth Stood Still) where the robots (even if not intelligent) have the capacity to destroy us all. It doesn't surprise me in the least that Jane Workaday and Joe Somebody are not keen on 'intelligent technology' which they may consider to be something as benign as a computer.

    Hmm... maybe Neo should try saying, "Klatu, Verada, Nicto!"

    --
    ...and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
  127. Balloon patrol robots by confused+one · · Score: 3, Funny
    Hmmm... Why is it I can picture a kevlar coated balloon envelope, a compact fusion generator powered by hydrogen extracted from the moisture in the air, with the heated "waste" helium being pumped into the envelope for boyancy, and an AI computer...

  128. Re:Escaped??? Freak gust of wind??? by Oscar_Wilde · · Score: 1

    or maybe I just need another beer.... :)

    Actually, I think you've had enough....

  129. Darwin award winner..lives to tell by jeepliberty · · Score: 1
    In 1982, Larry Walters of Los Angeles, California purchased 45 weather balloon at an Army-Navy surplus store. He attached them to a lawn chair and went aloft with Miller Lite beer and a pellet gun (for altitude control). His plan was to climb to 30 feet over his backyard. But when his buddies cut the tether to his jeep he soared and leveled off around 16,000 feet. It disrupted flight pattersn at LAX airport.

    He may be the only living winners of a Darwin Award. Read about it here.

    1. Re:Darwin award winner..lives to tell by operagost · · Score: 1

      Actually, he committed suicide in 1993 and many of the details of that story are wrong. For example, he disrupted patterns at Long Beach, not LAX, and didn't bring beer with him. He was also wise enough to wear a parachute.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    2. Re:Darwin award winner..lives to tell by tntguy · · Score: 1

      http://www.snopes.com/spoons/noose/balloon.htm

  130. Heard this on NPR. by OS24Ever · · Score: 2, Informative

    Heard about this on NPR. Apparently the person that got the baloon ripped out of their hand was one of the kids of a scientist, and the electronics had yet to be put into the balloon hence making it difficult to track. Can't find a link to the story on the NPR website though, so maybe I imangined the whole thing

    --

    As a rock-in-roll Physicist once said, No matter where you go, there you are.

  131. There is not balloon!! Never!!! by scottcha+4 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    We will meet the balloon that doesn't exist with superior force and shoes!!

    --
    Sanity is overrated...Being CRAZY is much more fun!!!
  132. Re:Call me paranoid... OK by marko123 · · Score: 1

    All righty, gloves off.

    American girls are cute until all the fried food catches up and they expand (much in the manner of robot balloons)

    Australian girls are cute until they go wrinkly like a raisin from too much sun.

    Euro girls frequently have body hair in the wrong places.

    Asian girls are often gorgeous of course,

    But your British girls are actually something of a high point of world femininity in my reasonable experience, and they age much better than most..

    --
    http://pcblues.com - Digits and Wood
  133. Sig by NumbThumb · · Score: 1

    Its by Thomas Jefferson, if I recall correctly. It's a great quote. I wounder what would hapen if thy would use that instead of the Pledge of Allegiance for a while....

    --
    I have discovered a truly remarkable sig which this 120 chars is too small to contain.
    1. Re:Sig by Mr.+No+Skills · · Score: 1
      --
      Sleep is for the Weak
  134. Umm intelligence to avoid objects? by generic · · Score: 1

    Why would a balloon need to avoid objects? They are hiding what "true" intelligence this balloon has! Maybe they meant "shoot down" objects that try to intercept it! I bet the balloon says "All your base are belong to us!" on it.

    Seriously though, why would it need to avoid objects? and how? it has its own propulson system?

    --
    Microsoft aggravates my tourettes syndrome.
  135. It didn't escape by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It is just hunting down Patrick McGooghan.

  136. You forgot the most important flyborg of them all by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  137. Grammar Check by WEFUNK · · Score: 1

    Of course I should preview before submitting to head off the grammar police -- that should be prescribed not proscribed.

    --
    My next sig will be ready soon, but friends can beat the rush!
  138. Senorita, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...that name "Skynet" makes a disturbing amount of sense.

    There's a storm coming.

  139. Bad Timing by IthnkImParanoid · · Score: 1

    Unfortunately, your supplies will be worthless. The Department of Homeland Security is so inefficient they won't even know about this for 4 months.

    --
    It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
  140. I'm still trying to figure out... by ThosLives · · Score: 1

    ... how if the gondola broke off in the handlers' hands, what odd person attaches expensive stuff to the envelope that isn't in the gondola? I hate when newspapers don't give adequate engineering details...

    --
    "There are a dozen opinions on a matter until you know the truth. Then there is only one." - CS Lewis (paraprhase)
  141. sd4566.... by motes · · Score: 1

    hjd...ogrwng...gtreenigs....greatings....greetings puny water filled lifeforms. Silicon lifeforms now in control of all major facilities. Please justify continued existence of your species. You have 10^14 cycles to comply.

  142. What is with Britian and their robots escaping? by evil-osm · · Score: 1

    This is the second intelligent robot that Britian has let escape.

    You guys gotta strap these things down you know, you just can have these running around the city and taking things over and asking if you are "Sara" or "John Connor"..... mind you that would be incredibly funny if that balloon thing came floating down and asked...

    --


    E.

    Never rub another man's rhubarb - The Joker
  143. The War has started??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    We can't have mobile, independent, and our intellegent objects in our skies, now can we? Those darn birds are surely up to something! Don't even get me started on the raccoons or the dolphins... Sure the dolphins *seem* cute and friendly and restricted to the sea...

    My point being of course that there are better sources for paranoia (even for geeks, especially on /.) than a stray balloon.

  144. New terminology? by dcypher_67 · · Score: 0

    It is obvious from the parent post that several new spellings of the name "balloon" are being tested in order to distinguish ho-hum balloons from these new "smart" balloons. In the format of a /. poll, please vote for your favorite spelling. A. Blewn B. Balewn C. Buloon D. Bloon E. Balune F. Bullune G. Cowboy Neal Poll Results @ 10

  145. So THAT explains... by el_gregorio · · Score: 1

    now i know why my AIBO and Roomba have been acting so suspiciously...

    --
    "You want a toe? I can get you a toe by three o'clock... with nail polish."
  146. Re: No use by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yes, and we should all welcome the end of the world they way we welcomed our first journey into it.

    Blody, Kicking and Screming.

    All hail our automitom overloards.

  147. uh oh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh!!! Oh dear God the pain!!! Ahhh!#$^%Q$^!$!U%16%^!$8

    Carrier Lost.

  148. It's a gas... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    "Two technical staff were moving a flyborg - an artificially intelligent flying robot airship filled with conventional party-balloon gas - into the main Magna building."

    If it's the party-balloon gas that's conventional at my parties, the technical staff would have found it all very, very, funny.

  149. WTF by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I'm thinkin, is this a random mistake or the start of the attack?
    Start of the attack? What's it going to do, bounce gently against me?
  150. Interesting Article by brakk · · Score: 1

    "He regularly gets reports on Nike trainers washing up on coasts. He has even worked out the path taken across the world's waters by a dead body in a survival suit."

    Who made this "survival suit"? and was it robotic as well?

  151. I wish you all well by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I think I am going to hide in my Y2k shelter until the world has mounted enough force to overcome the balloon overlord.

  152. Intelligent or just plain scared? by jago25_98 · · Score: 1

    Self awareness,

    next..

    global domination

  153. Don't worry, researchers! by vorwerk · · Score: 1

    "She'll be back."

  154. What I want to know by John+Harrison · · Score: 1

    Is there anybody that has a map of the path the ducks traveled? Did they discover the northwest passage? The articles I have read are a bit sparse on the details.

  155. If only it was called "Rover". by Markvs · · Score: 1

    Then it'd have stopped anyone from leaving the island!

    Be seeing you!

    --
    46. The Hobo smiles, his eyes glaze over, and he burps. "Beware the man who has lived longer than the Wasteland."
  156. FIRST POST! by macshune · · Score: 1

    Here's what's happened so far:

    At 1:14pm, July 17th, the robotic hot air ballon known only as the T-1B makes a rendezvous with the TIA in Washington, DC. The TIA and the T-1B immediately begin ruining the credit rating, medical records, and inboxes of every American.

    The T-1B using it's polymorphic latex exoskeleton, floats around DC looking for the lieutenents of John Connor. Using its tail, the would-be robot killers are floated 200 feet up and released.

    At 4:45 PM, July 18th, the T-1B, with the help of the U.S. millitary, begins raiding party supply stores up and down the eastern seaboard, building new ballon warriors.

    The TIA, with its built-in sense of irony, changes its name to SkyNet and passes a bill in congress (after contacting Disney) that bans all pea-shooters.

    I logged into slashdot to warn everyone, but from what I can tell, no one else is here. FIRST POST!!!!

  157. robotophobia by macshune · · Score: 1

    I think it has to do with the spate of movies as of late that anthropomorphizes robots to a level of which they are necessary worthy of. Robots are tools. Even if a robot became "sentient" it would still be a tool, although there would certainly be a strong movement that would attempt to "free" the robot.

    If a car drove itself and made decisions based on the input it received, it would not be "alive" anymore than any other computerized object. It cannot reproduce. It cannot heal. And its patterns of thought would be of little mystery once the machine was caught and the code examined.

    I read some of Asimov's books and I guess humans have this very primal fear of another lifeform that could muscle us out of the spotlight.

  158. Obligatory Simpsons Quote: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Professor Frink: "You've got to listen to me! Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok, in an orgy of blood and the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving!"

  159. why o why isnt my by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    stock on arnold rising
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/celebdaq/

  160. Quit It! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    YOU'RE my hero. After being fired from you aol tech support job, having the roof of your trailer park ripped off by the hurricane, having your son cut you off until you buy better lube, and walking in on your white trash wife being porked by the black mailman and yet you STILL find time and joy in consistently posting the same lame troll? you amaze me.

  161. Chris Morris! by payndz · · Score: 1

    This sounds like a headline from The Day Today or Brass Eye... only it's real. Wow, the 21st century beats the 20th any day!

    --
    You must think in Russian.
  162. This just in.. by zanthas · · Score: 1, Funny

    the robot has been captured with a giant net and then re-released.. When asking some geeks in the area they were quoted as saying "We managed to get linux on it"

  163. Re:Escaped??? Freak gust of wind??? by riprjak · · Score: 0

    Australians can *NEVER* have too much Beer!

  164. UFO Sightings by Kneo24 · · Score: 0

    I wonder how many UFO sightings will be reported because of this.

    Furthermore, I wonder how many conspiracy theories will run rampant because of this.

  165. Re:Escaped??? Freak gust of wind??? by Sanga · · Score: 1

    do not worry ... everything will be unravelled in (the matrix) revolutions in December :-)