Slashdot Mirror
How Not To Install Computer Hardware
ssassen writes "Most computer hardware websites tell you how to get your computer hardware up and running properly and not RMA it after the first boot. Hardware Analysis takes a different approach and tells us exactly how NOT to install computer hardware. They document many of the pitfalls that'll sound familiar to many enthusiasts and have some great pictures of what could go horribly wrong during an upgrade. Very funny, and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!"
See this article Much improved, though, with pictures to boot!
Homestarrunner.net -- It's Dot Com!
Im damn glad I read this an hour before it got slashdotted.
if you replace "they" with "we"
bite my glorious golden ass.
i can just picture the admin pissing himself
...as long as nobody's looking!
And one more thing: If the processor doesn't fit, go ahead and force it in anyway. It might work even better if it goes in backwards. It's especially fun after you hear the festive sizzling sound and the smell of fresh ozone. You then get an all new heat-sink-adorned paperweight. Isn't it fun?
Here's how NOT to install software:
XP Knows Best
See, you didn't need to read that article at all. Let's keep up the slashdot tradition!
I know how NOT to install hardware!
Look, now I'll hot-swap the cpu...
[NO CARRIER]
This article reminds me of the guy (who fancied himself a computer tech) who brought in his new video card to my computer shop. He said he tried everything to get it installed, but he thinks he might have a defective card.
I didn't have the heart to tell him it was an AGP card and his computer only had PCI slots.
My studio - www.graylands.ca
"Dad, can you bring me the RAM?"
*Dad walks across heavily carpeted room.*
*Dad holds out the DIMM. I reach and grab it.*
ZAP!!!
*shrug*
The system works just fine.
WARNING: there is a trojan on your
Remeber the two key rules:
1) Jam it harder.
2) Use duct tape.
"If it's not broke, you're not trying."
Wow, that joke just gets funnier every time!
I used to work in a retail computer store specializing in Amiga computers. The A1200 was notorious for being difficult to install expansion boards into the trapdoor slot.
I had one accelerator try to be returned after the customer tried to install it themselves.
I looked at the unit and the pins connecting the card connector to the board were bent and there were chips out of the motherboard.
I told the customer that it looked like they took a screwdriver to the edge and used a hammer to try and pound the card into the slot.
I kid you not, the reply was "I did. So what? The manual didn't say *NOT* to hit it with a hammer and screwdriver".
We didn't accept the return. I explained that my supplier would laugh me out of business if I tried to return it with chisel marks.
$200 down the drain because the cheap bastard didn't want to spend the extra $10 to have us install it.
Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
Which may sound far-fetched, but there are tales aplenty of this kind of incompetence at the excellent TechTales.
suckers. maybe I should subscribe
I could take a sledgehammer to my PC, and that would be the "wrong way" to install a video card. This is stupid.
If this had been rewritten, and then titled "Common Mistakes of The Novice Hardware Enthusiast (n00b 101)" this would be a lot more useful. Hell, title it "Mistakes Your Mom Would Make" and then write disparaging comments about the reader's mother. Otherwise, it's a waste of a good web page.
Don't ever try this: I mounted a hard drive cage for measuring without securing it with a screw... then I proceeded to do measurements from the front of the case. I pressed at the floppy drive without thinking, *WHOMP*, my precious drives took an instant trip to the bottom of the case. Fortunately there was no data loss, but don't try it ;)
.: Max Romantschuk
The one that really kills me is when someone plugs in a PS2 mouse while the system is running because it got disconnected for some reason (read: some idiot tripped over the back of the case). The person in question just plugs the mouse back in and then is surprised when they have to reboot anyway to get the mouse recognized again.
You wouldn't believe how many people don't realize you can fry a motherboard that way...
There is a very useful knowledgebase on the Microsoft Support website on how to properly install new hardware.
If you want Windows to detect your modem, click Next. If not, click the "Don't detect my modem..."
[...] search for plug and play devices. If the device you are installing is not found, click "No, the device isn't in the list,"
he he, I did in a P90 a several years ago by reconnecting a floppy drive power supply that I forgot to hook up while the system was still running. Very pretty blue sparks! That's the only thing I've fried, but I took it as a clue that I was up too late ;o)
From the aforementioned website, with around 40 comments posted thus far:
"There are 17 registered and 5413 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1406.08 kbit/s"
Wow... betcha they notice that real quick!
Janie took my gun...
It got rid of the original problem of applications crashing as well. Moral: If your computer occasionally freezes use a screwdriver. Works best with AMD
And before you ask the Vendor was Kobian, yes the one that makes cheap(really cheap) mobos.My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
How NOT to insure you will have long webserver uptime...
The scariest part of upgrading I've found is the daunting process of mounting the heatsink on the processor. Most newer heatsinks have a little latch that helps with ease of installation, but there're always those renegade heatsinks without latches that just give me the jibblies to install.
It wouldn't be so much of a problem if the heatsinks didn't require so much force to fit over the nubs on the processor housing that you have to press on them with a screwdriver, risking the integrity of the printed circuitry around the processor and your sanity as you press down on them in hope that they'll fit. But no... they still make you press like there's no tomorrow.
A coworker fried his motherboard with that. I think modern motherboards protect against that, but don't take that too seriously -- I stick to USB.
Another coworker used to hot swap SCSI drives all the time. Standard SCSI, not some hot-swappable kind. It eventually caught up to him; he blew his motherboard.
"Why?" we asked him.
"Well, Bob does it all the time."
"Yeah," we said, "but did you notice Bob works in a repair shop?"
Step 8a...
After your webserver is configured, create a page that has technical information that geeks are interested in, and have a friend submit a story to slashdot about it.
Step 8b...
Sit back, and watch the blinking lights turn solid with activity, as your 14 registered users get dogpiled with 6099 anonymous slashdotters. Admire the wonderful smell of melting IC chips while looking for your warranty paperwork.
krystal_blade
It will be easy to motivate our fellow man; there is hardly anything people treasure more than not being annihilated.
I think I've seen something like this before somewhere ..... probably .....
Anyway, at my last place of work we instituted the annual Pegg Award for Excellent Incompetence in the Constructiuon of a New PC. The first recipient won for the sheer brilliance of omitting to fit any insulating pillars between the motherboard and the chassis, electing instead to bolt the motherboard directly to the chassis.
He was our top PCB designer. He also once routed a 0V supply to a microamp-current flame sense amplifier circuit through a section of track {ignition transformer primary circuit} that would carry pulses of tens of amperes.
The second recipient won it for failing to format a hard disk he'd just FDISK'ed, and wondering why attempts to SYS it were failing.
Je fume. Tu fumes. Nous fûmes!
Going through the first few pages, there are already enough similarities between the classic dansdata.com article and this one to call it a coincidence.
Can't seem to find any credits given to Dan either. Oh dear.
http://www.dansdata.com/sbs3.htm
That's not so much bandwidth. It's just 1.5Mbps (around 180Kbytes/second). I guess they're on a little T1 line or something like that.
My site
Thigs that can go wrong: when your new box gets slashdotted!
There are 13 registered and 7025 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1949.91 kbit/s
---- Take the Space Quiz!
For some stupid reason, the pink stripes on HDD and floppy ribbon cables are on different sides (HDD to the right, floppy to the left looking at the back of the drives. Not all cables and drives have keyed connectors and you *can* plug them in upside down! Roll on S-ATA.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
and I can't RTFM I'm going to make wild speculation and say something that may/may not be true. When installing hardware always make sure that you are wearing a nice wooly jumper to make sure that you protect yourself from all the static that will build up. Also if you are trying to install a memory DIMM and it doesn't quite work, just press it hard so the mother board creaks
Rus
Cheap UK and US VPS
Just make sure you have done a full (or preferably 2) full backups first - then it doesnt matter what you do to your PC, nothing will go wrong. Hell, juggle the ram chips, play football with the hard disk, drop bits onto passing pedestrians... whatever the hell you feel like. It'll all work just fine.
This state of affairs can obviously be implied from the case where you attempt to upgrade without backing up and it takes 0.0000001 seconds for something fatal to happen to your hard disk.
Beep beep.
It didn't hurt anything, though, it just didn't work. Power off, change cable around, turn on, all good.
Not recommended, though! :)
Considering their poor server is at this very moment in the process of becoming a molten lump of metal and slag, they should probably give some thought to renaming the article "Hardware Analysis: How NOT to configure a webserver"
Janie took my gun...
ya... knowing that a server is /.'ed and i can't rtfa always puts a smile on my face...
Nor while smoking.
Nor with the assistance of household pets.
Nor without restraining any dangling hair.
And touching the wrong metal bits of that floppy drive to the wrong metal bits of the case will cause the magic smoke to leave.
I "saved" money by recovering an old proprietary computer case from work instead of buying a new ATX case. A certain amount of hacksaw work was required on the sheet metalwork to make the motherboard fit, but it was done OK.
However I forgot hacksawed metal has even sharper edges than cases usually do, when I scraped one of the 12v supply wires over an edge.... Boom, a 500W PSU really does go with a hell of a bang!
"Don't belong. Never join. Think for yourself. Peace." V.Stone, Microsoft Corporation
How about a slashdot article explaining how to slashdot a server. And in the brief summery on the frontpage, let's have the URLs included to SCO, RIAA, and Disney...etc.
Life is not for the lazy.
For some strange reason, the floppy drive did work after that. I'm impressed. My lab partner was impressed. I think he learned a few new words while I was diving for the power strip's off switch.
Feel the server meltdown!
Please register or login. There are 11 registered and 7211 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1133.30 kbit/s
Fortunately, I had nothing that was irreplacable on the drive -- I was just plugging it in because it was faster than using a floppy -- but still, it taught me a valuable lesson, and is fortunately, the only piece of hardware I've ever broken on install. Course, since that time, I've developed the habit of double checking power cable connections; I don't like the smell of smoldering silicon in the morning.
Marxism is the opiate of dumbasses
I had the article open to look at the pictures, and the number of anonymous online users keep growing with each page refresh.
Assuming most of the anonymous users are from slashdot then there are 7000 thousand slashdot users looking at the pictures, or worse still reading the article!!!
Elivs
...I wish I were joking when I say that a lot of the stuff in that article frightens me more than it amuses me. Some of this stuff I've done, and apparently I shouldn't have. I basically taught myself how to put a system together through trial and error (and error, and error, and ERROR).
Newt-dog
My Doctor prescribed daily nasal saline irrigation, hehe
Don't install computer hardware while drunk /., no you cannot get drunk from jolt. Het is talking about alcohol here. Not the kind of alcohol you use to clean the connectors that is.
To explain to fellow
Don't install computer hardware with all the components plugged in AND on.
That is called hotplugging.
Don't install components while having sex.
He is talking about sex with other people, not about watching porn.
Don't install components while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
It is bad for your teeth. But if it drops it will fall on the most dusty place with the butter down.
Which article were you reading.....?
I have no sig yet I must scream.
There are 9 registered and 7048 anonymous users currently online.
;-)
Current bandwidth usage: 1743.07 kbit/s
The above bandwidth seems to be the maximum, considering how long it's taking to load the site!! Let's see what reloading will show...
There are 9 registered and 7142 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1659.65 kbit/s
I have no sig yet I must scream.
There are 11 registered and 7201 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1153.65 its dropping off! but the site is coping well -so far *evil grin*
Nothing - well thats something.
Hint: for something to be funny, it has to actually make you laugh, not just be written in a sarcastic style.
Jag pratar lite svenska.
Good stuff. I jizzed my keyboard! Thanks.
Dan's Data: Step by Step 3: How to destroy your computer
:)
It's a much funnier article - and still relevant, despite the fact that it's been there for ~5 years now.
#!/bin/csh cat $0
Yeah, I know that it's good practice to keep the plug in while holding the computer case for installing components so you stay grounded,
Actually, this is good practice for AT power supplies, but most ATX power supplies are still running a small amount of current even with the power off making this another excellent way to ruin components. Just an fyi...
Yes, and they reproduced it from Australian Personal Computer Magazine, January 1998... of which I have copy.
(\(\
(^.^)
(")")
*This is the cute bunny virus, please copy this into your sig so it can spread
as can be seen here
Last time, I think we agreed it wasn't really all that funny though
the idea is to keep the plug in but switch off the electrical socket: that way earth stays connected but live doesn't.
Seeing how fast this site has gone slashdotted, I've got into thinking that some of the guidelines they've posted there they actually DID follow.
I guess their next article will be 'How to make your website NOT slashdotted'.
that these enthusiasts are a retailer's nightmare; the constant flow of hardware back and forth puts a considerable amount of stress on the retailer and his service personnel.
The rate at which "enthusiasts" return stuff can't possibly compete with the rate at which regular, frustrated users return stuff for perfectly valid reasons. I suspect more than half of all new computer products don't work as advertised, have serious defects, are incompatible with systems they claim to be copatible with, or don't work at all. That's part of the business, but if companies put out so much defective stuff, the least they can do is take back the stuff that really doesn't work right without complaining. A lot of companies just seem to be outsourcing user testing to paying end users.
If an ATX power supply is producing enough current to fry any components when the mains power is off, your power supply is broken. Some ATX supplies will still supply a very, very small current and this decreases over time anyway.
Hey, they've replaced numbers with non-descriptive words!
"Please register or login. There are many registered and even more anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 1191.75 kbit/s October 21 06:08 EDT"
When I (accidentally) kick the cable to the keyboard and mouse on the SUN here, the system will either spontaneously reboot, or just hang (not even responding to network echo).
Took me weeks to figure out why this darn Solaris box was so unstable. 1m of adhesive tape wrapped around the cable and case solved the problem.
Musicians don't die. They just decompose.
All ATX power supplies have a continuous power output, that button you use to turn the computer on isn't a toggle, it's a microswitch, and goes through the mobo. The current is very small, but it can take care of a motherboard in short order if you cross the traces.
Slashdot is proof that Sturgeon's Law applies to mankind.
I understand that there is such a tool that is to be used in the installation of heatsinks to motherboards, but for the life of me I've never seen
any of the screwdriver shops using one out in the wild.
Me myself, I do it with the metal tips of mechanical pencils...
They got their sockets wrong - socket 5 was for early-model pentiums, not 486's. They must be pretty young if they don't remember socket 3's for 486's. Hell, I had a Intel InBoard 386 that you put in your XT (!!) PC and hooked up to your 8086 socket, with a bunch of ribbon cable.... man, did that sucker fly! :-)
I recall a friend of mine getting a new 486 dx4-100 for his compaq and installing it 90 degrees off.
He spent an hour going "Hmmm. Why won't this boot? The fan powers up, the LED on the CPU card blinks... then nothing!"
We pulled the chip out and plugged it back in the right way round and it powered up fine. Amazing.
You are in a twisty maze of processor lines, all alike.
There is a lot of hype here.
All the advice comes about 20 years too late! it could have saved me a fortune...
I refer you to this.
Patrick Doyle
I mod down every jackass who puts his moderation policy in his sig. Oh, wait a sec....
this is just plain stupid. probably the work of a kid with too much time in hands. notice how no pictures have anything disturbing. nothing broken, nada, zero, zip. this is just for show. he didn't even screw up a component or two. he took the pictures to be the new macho i-can-fry-my-pc-but-i-don't man in the block.
once i put in a hdd controller in an old (it as EISA..) computer, not noticing that one of the contacts had detached it's self from the pcb, and bent across to touch another... i sat there thinking, what the hell is wrong now? and then i saw the smoke....
Warning: Excessive usage of stupidity may be harmful to your health
(D.A.U is short for "Duemmster Anzunehmender User" - dumbest hypothetical user. By the way, their D.A.U. of the month galleries are also something to behold.)
"There are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare." - Blair Houghton
Well, I suppose this definitively proves that /. readers actually do RTFA. When they can.
On a more serious note, now that the webserver has lost touch with reality... yeah. Some of the dumb things I see being done on these sites really scares me whenever I think I might want to save money and build my next machine myself... I've been doing a lot of searching for components and suchlike, and I managed to scavenge a PC Gamer feature on building it yourself from about a year ago, but I'm still apprehensive. Money is tight for me, and I really wouldn't appreciate watching a $300 component become an amusing anecdote for a "how-not-to" article. So, are there any sites out there that actually show, step-by-step, what one SHOULD do?
"Why Subscribe?" Good question...
I have Dell Dimension 8250 at home. The case can be opened without a screwdriver, harddisks and optical drives can be removed without a screwdriver and the RAM is clearly visible so more and be added/removed without difficulty.
I also worked on Apple's production line here last month where we were building the G5's. They may look pretty but try adding/removing stuff from it! The job of putting the motherboard into the enclosure is a lot more difficult that it may seem. It had people reduced to tears crying "It just won't fit!". The RAM is hidden under all sorts of fans, the rich folk who ordered two harddisks will have a good fun trying to take one out! God help any home user who dismantles his/her G5!
Another good technique i use when upgrading hard drives is to set the jumper pins while the system is on. You may say 'har-umph", but I have found nothing else more effiecient at weeding out slacker hard drives. This technique works equeally well on mother boards and cd-drives. Its easy enough for the true nimrod to do, and when your done, well you are done....
I once, when I took my first steps on building PCs (I worked with amigas before that) tried to install my brand new SB AWE32 soundcard in my then brand new Compaq P90 tower.
.... check." :)*
:)
It went something like this:
"Ok, cover open, free slot.. check."
*grabs card*
"Ok, now insert card in slot
"Ok! now lets boot and install drivers."
*looks at PC and discovers it was already on... uhoh
The card worked fine though.
Never underestimate the relief of true separation of Religion and State.
Hmm, let me test that out.
Unplug, plug, ok, no problem works fine.
Unplug, plug, ok, no problem works fine.
Unplug, plug, ok, no problem works fine.
Well my PC is still working, I cant see any pr
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
Unlike other forms which just get on it, and connect things, this ate away about half the circuit board. Always wondered how it would do vs an IBM keyboard...
I'm sure most of us have worked in technical support. I can personally vouch that I've seen machines brought in by customers who have done numbers 4, 5 (naturally), and definitely 6 (I think the customer let their child play with the motherboard?) and of course, it was never pretty.
So, just incase there are some of you who don't think random computer hardware destruction is funny, consider the fact that this is definitely a satire piece, aimed at the uberclueless... (and those people are touching the insides of their computers).
Join Tor today!
MY ATX power supply has a hard off. IME Most ATX power supply have one of these... It will be on the back.. and will be a very small rocker switch... Try using it...
Food not Bombs is a nice platitude but it breaks down when you notice that the Bombees are usually well fed
Yes, and they reproduced it from Australian Personal Computer Magazine, January 1998... of which I have copy.
And not nearly so funny as Dan's version
Most of the modern components you buy come with instructions if you are not sure. Though I didn't use it, my Athlon 2000+ came with a nice fold-out poster on how to correctly seat the CPU and put the heatsink on without crushing the core.
The best suggestion I can make is to have someone who knows what they are doing looking over your shoulder.
Cogito ergo sum in Slashdot.
Asus will be happy with the treatment of their lovely nVidia board. I guess there's no such thing as bad publicity. I do think the author omitted to mention that a hammer and baseball bat were required for the procedure. These will be necessary if the machine somehow still manages to boot.
1. DUST
I've found out that is way less pain to leave the dust were it accumulated than trying to remove it. The mess you'll do is proportional to the amount of dust to move.
2. CABLE
Never try to remove a cable by pulling it. Often is secured with some kind of clips. You don't want to have the whole mb hanging. When you disconnect the cables, try to remember from "where* you disconnected them. Trying to plug them when you reassembled you mb is a pain. And finally, mark with a spot the orientation of the cable, not all the devices have that little plastic thing that tells you in what orientation to plug the cable in.
3. SCREWS
Sometimes the screws just don't want to enter their holes. DOn't force them. I've seen PCI cards coming out their plug because the screw was stuck, and turning it was actually pulling up the card.
4. PARTS IN EXCESS
If you have to remove some parts, such as the PCI hole covers, just stick it inside the case with some tape, same with the screws. You never remember where you left them when you need them years after.
Well, I suppose this definitively proves that /. readers actually do RTFA. When they can.
/. crew tell us occasionaly a relatively small percentage read comments, and an even smaller percentage post.
You'll find that most people RTFA, these however aren't the same people that read/post comments - as according to what the
Is the intro to the artical. Where they talk about users in comp stores on a daily?! basis. Ouch, what is up with that.
Then returning hardware a day or a week later when it's in perfect condition. I know retailers have to be good to their customers in order to keep them but wow. I never consdiered returning anything I got unless it was broken. Which back in some of the early days happened often enough as it was.
Come on geeks, that's just not right!
Really, I know what I'm doing...Ohhhh, look at the shiny buttons!
The thing I never understood about this particular joke is - how did the poster submit the comment?
That article is the one I am referring to... look at the right hand side near the top.
Originally published in Australian Personal Computer Magazine, January 1998.
So how can Dan's version be funnier if its exactly the same thing!?
(\(\
(^.^)
(")")
*This is the cute bunny virus, please copy this into your sig so it can spread
It doesn't make sense, I thought it might be how not to install hardware on someone's computer whom you dislike.
But the beginning of the article is taking the side of the retailer who just has to take back partly used and working correctly hardware all the time for "computer enthusiasts" who think they know what they're doing. What is the retailer going to do with this?
Most places have a you break it you bought it policy, IE, if you damaged it or installed in an unprescribed fashion it's your own fault and only manufactured defects are returnable. So what good will it do for a retailer to 'properly' break parts.
It wouldn't boot. When I opened the lid, I found the motherboard screwed tightly to the case without standoffs -- just a circuit board on bare metal. Protrusions on the case prevented it from sitting flat, with the result that the motherboard was bent into a sharp 'U' shape.
As a result, the peripheral cards couldn't reach the mobo slots. To address this, the mountings on the case and peripheral cards had been modified with some heavy object (perhaps a tire iron?) resulting in a twisted wreckage of mounting hardware, stray pieces of plastic recruited as supports, glue, cross-threaded screws and the occasional rubber band.
Turns out my client purchased the computer in parts and then assigned one of his employees -- a cashier with a computing hobby and zero prior hardware experience -- to assemble it.
Amazingly, after an hour of remounting and bending sheetmetal into a reasonable facsimile of its original shape, the thing actually worked.
Tired of SQL? Try a true relational database:
Here's a nickle, kid, go buy a sense of humor.
I went through the first three pages and I didn't see them mention anything about how to ground yourself or keep yourself grounded. Simple step but quite important and easily overlooked. Yet, this simple step could make your computer dead real fast, real quick. And you wouldn't even know it until it's too late...
A rather big computer magazine where I come from, used to print a series of 'How to upgrade your PC' articles. In each and every picture in that series, the person performing the upgrade is crawling on all four on a synthetic rug, where the computer was placed. All components going in and out of the computer was also placed directly on the same synthetic rug.
How small a thought it takes to fill a whole life
Much as I'd like to, I just can't read this article. The sarcasm or whatever it should be called is just too wearing.
Good satirical writing is not accomplished by writing a "do not" article, then changing all the "do not"s to "do"s.
If while building your custom box, your brand new AGP card won't go through the slot at the back of the PC, don't go buy a metal saw to make the hole bigger... Thrust me, you'll feel really stupid once you understand you have to insert the card by opening the side of the box.
Black holes occur when God divides by zero.
You know if you try really hard you can put RAM in the wrong way. I plugged in a 128MB stick of SDRAM in the wrong way. I wondered why the ram wasn't being recognised and also why it was getting hot.
meh
He took real instructions, and added funny by saying "DON'T do this"?
lame.
The article intentionally trys to destroy computer hardware. But a lot of people have done some of the same stuff unintentionally. I only worked repairing computer for about 6 months but the stuff people do to thier computer will blow your mind. I have seen people try to put DDR RAM in PC100 slots, plug an ISA card into a PCI slot (he broke the plastic at the ends to make it fit), fill the hole in the middle of the processor socket with heatsink compound, superglue an old socket 7 heatsink (no fan) to an athlon 1900, turn the computer off (cause he broke the power button) with a paper clip between 12V and gnd molex connector. If you dont know what you are doing, then dont do it. What a waste of good hardware.
If you'll notice, Athlon 64s and Opteron's get rid of this stupid design (finally) and offer screw in heatsinks. THANK GOD!
Pictures and more
...unfortunately no one can be told what The Mat^H^H^HGoatse is...they must experience it for themselves...
Under capitalism man exploits man. Under communism it's the other way around.
Anyways, I would go help out now and again.. and one time I was setting up a STATE of the ART 386. I had hooked everything up, and turned it on.. to the sound of an enormous *CRACK!*. You see, I had placed the hard drive on top of the power supply, as the desktop-style case had nowhere to conveniently lay the hard drive.
It was toast. Totally toast. Completely and horrifically dead. RIP, little hard drive. There was a lesson in there that won't be forgotten though..
Properly mount devices!
err, or at least, place them on an anti-static bag. Or not on top of a static generator like the power supply.
Look at the top of the page of the article..
There are 17 registered and 11697 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 2847.96 kbit/s
I would love to see this on a really popular post.
nohup rm -rf ~/. >& zen &
I don't get it, I thought that's how all hardware upgrades go. That screwdriver in the power suppy idea for overclocking sounds good though...
There are 22 registered and 11475 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 2960.03 kbit/s
When I was a PC technician, we had a customer bring his PC and monitor in. He said that that he had the wrong kind of monitor because it would not work with his PC. It turns out he had spent ****4 friggin' hours**** trying to plug the video cable into a serial port...
I consider it one of the high points of my life that I managed to have enought professionalism to wait to laugh until after he left.
Please register or login. There are 22 registered and 11833 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 3451.95 kbit/s
Year's ago working on an old PC Case that would not fire up .
Step 1. Check 240v Fuse (3AG push and turn type)
Step 2. Observe 22 Cal. bullet fall out of holder.
Step 3. Down tools and back away slowly.........
I think my problem with hot-swapping AGP cards was the compact design of the connector. The traces are designed with two levels of contacts on each side of the card, but as the card is inserted or removed the outer set of traces is wiped past the upper set of contacts in the socket where they short out adjacent pins.
I definitely fried the mobo (which was an IWill that sucked anyway) and a 256MB DDR stick. The rest of the components including the CPU survived the experiment. But, after buying a new mobo, I just had to upgrade the CPU of course ... and heatsink and fan ... which drew more current from the power supply ... and why upgrade the CPU without adding more memory ... and what good was all that memory without faster video ... and a hard disk for the new games ... and since the new CPU, heatsink and fan didn't fit in the old case ...
John
Whenever he is putting together a system for the first time, he doesn't bother with a case. It will be just the motherboard sitting on a counter with a power supply and peripherals attached. He has dubbed this type of system architecture the Frankenputer. He will have pieces of styrofoam stuck between different things to act as insulators. Other things precariously balanced where at any second something can fall onto the MB. I wish I had a picture.
When I first saw this I said, "What the hell is that?" and he simply said "Frankenputer".
Sorry my bullshit sensor overloaded.
ssassen writes...Very funny, and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!"
Anyone else notice that the guy who made the original post was also the author ? And how he referred to "they" (as in the article author) instead of writing "I" to make it look like it was a third-party review ? Shameless plug, indeed.
Ssassen, I am making a claim on your guarantee. I actually found the article to be extremely smug and condescending. There are people out there who don't know how to install computer hardware. What a newsflash.
Now if only they had a realtime video of their servers going up in flames as they try and widthstand a slashdotting....
30 characters are fine for a s
Wear a bandanna or a cap of some sort when working on a computer on a hot day. I once fried a motherboard when a drop of sweat landed on it unnoticed.
Make sure that you touch the power supply when handeling static sensitive components. If the power supply is plugged in (you did turn off the power didn't you?) it will provide a path to ground. This is particularly important when installing video cards.
Get the book "Upgrading and Repairing PC's" published by QUE. There's a Linux edition out there for those of us who use Linux, but it's largly the same as the MS Windows version.
Don't wear static generating clothing when working on the computer. Cotton is good, silk is VERY BAD INDEED.
Wash your hands with soap and warm water beforehand and handle all components by the edges. You don't want to get skin oil on the circuit traces, it's corrosive.
That's about all I have. Keep in mind that I have been building and maintaining my own hardware since 1990. It isn't rocket science (which isn't that hard incidently) as all the components are modular and plug into the computer.
About the only tools you'll need are one of those orange handled Buck screwdrivers with the four bits that you see at the Home Depot, a pair of long nosed pliers for picking up the screws that you will drop into the case and a nut driver to tighten the standoffs on your various cards when you inevitably unscrew the standoff insted of the screw.
My new GeForce3 was DOA, so I tried to use my old graphics card (a TNT) with my new motherboard. Problem was, the TNT had this extra bit of PCB that overhanged off the edge of the AGP slot right where the lever was, and it wouldn't fit.
So, I got out my pocket knife's saw, and hacked off the excess PCB (it didn't have any circuitry on it). It worked great!
Interesting... this whole thread got modded down as "overrated" and "off-topic".
/. horde) is at least as interesting as the official topic, perhaps more so.
By my reckoning, this thread (the living story of the well-connected, well-configured web server self-documenting its own successful fight against the barbarian
Also, judging by the repetitive and effecient nature of the down-mods, I'd say that it was not slashdot users who did the moderation, but the wielders-of-infinite-mod-points, the editors, who did it. Too bad. It's quite interesting and refreshing to see a well-configured server survive as this one is.
When performing open heart surgery on a switched-mode PSU to replace a blown reservoir cap, remember to switch it off and discharge it before picking it up and laying the PCB flat on your hand.
This is my World Wide Web of Whatever
The second thing: First, a quote from the article, then a quote from the website:
Oh, the irony.
I currently have no clever signature witicism to add here.
Don't install components while having sex. Either your SO doesn't care, or he/she is the biggest geek ever, and you're one lucky person.
This also included having sex with the computer, although when they come out with a USB-connected 'Rabbit' for the female geeks....
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
Number one, nobody said they were exactly the same. Number two, he said Dans was NOT as funny. Read first, understand later?
My German is rusty (even though I keep him dry), but isn't "Popel" less acceptable than "Leute" here? Sollt es nicht "Soylent Green ist leute!" sein?
Virg
Maybe he was dictating?
I sent it to our tech staff. But something tells me they are already familiar with everything in the article ;-)
"Obviously, I'm not an IBM computer any more than I'm an ashtray" (Bob Dylan)
> Oh yeah.... and the rebooting is a Windoze thing. Here's a nickle, kid, get yourself a proper OS, as they say (/me ducks!).
Ducking the dictionary someone just threw at you?
Virg
not really that funny, at least to me. it's difficult to laugh at items when you see this kind of thing on a daily basis.
think of it like the coffee cup holder. sure, it's funny when you hear it from an end user the first, second and third times, but when you've heard it all too many times, it becomes quite the norm and you expect this kind of stupidity from end users.
Not on a boatse, not with a goatse.
I won't mod the box, and I won't overclox.
I will not hot swap it here or there.
I will not hot swap it anywhere!
I do not hot plug CPUs, Sam. I will not do it, Sam-I-Am.
John
> Here's a nickle, kid, go buy a sense of humor.
Here's a nickel for you. Go buy yourself a spell checker.
Virg
Extended Warranty? How can I lose!
Or even worse the people who think that some modern systems still have a TRUE power switch, along with the soft switch.
lol... I can tell you they are the same.. I have read the article many times... I have had it for 5 years.
Now read what he said not nearly so funny as Dan's version
The APC artilce is not nearly so funny as Dan's version. I see him saying that the APC artilce was not nearly as funny as Dan's version, meaning Dan's version was funnier. Right?
Before you go trolling, think... you will make less off an ass of yourself if you do that.
(\(\
(^.^)
(")")
*This is the cute bunny virus, please copy this into your sig so it can spread
> Properly mount devices! err, or at least, place them on an anti-static bag. Or not on top of a static generator like the power supply.
Oops, lesson not quite learned, here. It wasn't static electricity that killed that drive, it was most likely a short circuit caused by laying the drive on a flat metal surface. The lesson here (other than mounting the drive, which is a good practice) is to put it on something non-conductive, like a folded sheet of paper or foam or something. By its very design, the power supply doesn't generate static electricity, and laying the drive on a static bag would likely have killed it just as dead as what happened.
Virg
The heatsink on my 2x1.25G4 mounts very simply - the face is perfectly flat, you lightly grease the dies and lay the sink down on top, then tighten the 6 screws that hold it in place. No clips, no excess pressure, no nubbies, just some screws. How are they on the G5s?
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley
Drill baby drill - on Mars
Unfortunately not all countries are blessed with switches on their electrical sockets. Makes the job more fun!
One of mine does, but that's exactly like pulling the plug (aside from the physical action of removing the plug). You lose some settings if you do that on some BIOSes, and that wasn't the way ATX was designed anyhow. The motherboard of an ATX computer is 'technically' always live, barring an open power circuit (like the rocker switch or the removal of the plug).
Slashdot is proof that Sturgeon's Law applies to mankind.
From the top of the page:
There are 21 registered and 9773 anonymous users currently online. Current bandwidth usage: 2263.41 kbit/s
I don't think we've linked to a site that shows cool stats like these for a while. I somehow think that, on an average day, they don't have 9,773 unregistered users visit at a time. But they seem to handle that, and the 3+ Mbps bandwidth peaks, without a hitch. Do you know how many jokes could have been made had we Slashdotted it and left their server a smoldering wreck?
________________________________________________
suwain_2
Everyone keep your mouths shut!
When the evil computer overlords rise up and take control, they are coming after all of you first!
Which always leads to the conundrum with those old/cheap ATX power supplies that don't have a switch on the back. I know one guy who actually took an old power cable, and cut off the two "live" prongs (leaving only the ground) and used that whenever working on one of those old power supplies.
I read the internet for the articles.
God damn! If you so much as mention slashdotting some poor bastard around here, you get modded down! It's like a theme park hiding its abuse of the environment by gagging its visitors...
Not quite;
From the last page of the article:
in case you're wondering we did not use any part of a similar article from Dan at Dan's Data, but we both covered all of the requirements to utterly destroy your computer with little effort.
Try again...
Actually it isn't, It leaves the supply grounded and thus the case grounded, so the case, powersupply, and you(by either touching the case or wearing a strap can share a ground... and not have that nasty discharge problem.
Food not Bombs is a nice platitude but it breaks down when you notice that the Bombees are usually well fed
There is not really a big need though to keep the case grounded. Sparks happen when there is a potential difference between you and the case. If you touch the case, voila - no potential difference and it doesn't matter if the case is grounded or not.
Sigh, life would be so much better if this crap weren't necessary. I would rather let those who are too stupid to appreciate irony naturally filter themselves out of high tech, life, whatever.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, hump its leg.
"So how can Dan's version be funnier if its exactly the same thing!?"
It's funnier the first time you read it. And I read it first somewhere else. So it was funnier somewhere else. Q.E.D.
Alternatively, you could say I not so much glanced at the article before, seeing the awful HTML formatting, went back to slashdot instead. After all, I've already read a good article on destroying computers.
Alternative 2: DansData doesn't split his articles over 5 pages. So it's funnier because the joke's lost as you wait and wait for the next page to load...
If you're paranoid about static, work on a humid day, or use a humidifier in the room you're working in.
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
with hardware resiliency, and work on your machine while it's running. A few years back I dropped a screw into my case, it hit the mainboard with a spark and a puff of smoke and the machine rebooted... when it came back up the BIOS had been reset. A month ago I plugged the power cable into a connected HD that resulted in a similar spark and puff followed by a hard crash. While at work we had T1 call processing hardware that would fail if you sneezed at it wrong or pretty much opened the case without a grounding strap on your wrist. Not very pleasant given the cost of the damn boards.
As the ex-owner of a successful retail computer store, (sold it in spring of 2000) I can say that the biggest nightmare is the "part time" parts. Motherboards that boot, then predictably crash within the hour. Every time.
Stuff that appears to work, but doesn't. Try to RMA them, and you get the same part right back. Really! I've left marks in inobvious places to be sure!
When you RMA such a part back to the manufacturer, they do a quick test and if they can make it appear to work, they send it right back to you!
But, if the part simply doesn't fire - you can't get it to work at all, they will give you a new part.
You can't physically damage the part, a snipped wire or pulled cap won't do the job. No, you have to be much more subtle than that. After some head-scratching, we went to the local thrift store and bought a used microwave for $10.
Motherboards stop working very nicely after 5 seconds in the microwave. Video cards, sound cards, and network cards only need 3 seconds. No visible sign of any damage whatsoever...
And with this pre-RMA treatment, you can guarantee a new part on return!
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
Don't do it while talking on the phone (cradled against your shoulder) and using both hands to work on the machine. I did this once and accidentally dropped the phone into the open computer. Luckily, my pride was hurt more than my computer. (The person on the other end laughed his ass off. "What was that noise?" "Uh, nothing. Seriously.")
-puk
The Illustrated Guide To Breaking Your Computer
Dropped the same flashlight into a running computer twice in one night. Still runs great (may have broken the flashlight)
Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
> Popel means booger.
Thanks! You have no idea how useful that's going to be.
Virg
ARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhh. . .
Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
After that, I never touch the ps2-style connectors while the pc is plugged in.
They're talking about PC hardware, right?
pops open case, checks inside
Aren't you suppose to have a SCSI drive just sitting loose in the bottom of your case? That's where mine has been for a couple of years now...
I fell asleep reading this predictable tripe.
A waste of electrons.
I found that putting the wires to the cpu heatsink between the heatsink and cpu does wonders for stability. After the insulation melts and the wires short, you may find that none of the fan controls on your Asus A7V motherboard work. This, however, is a bonus as now you get to make your own wires and splice and solder connectors so you can power all your fans directly from the power supply.
I wish I could say I've never done that.
I did not smile. What do I get?
My point was just that it isn't a standard. Since you can't count on any random ATX power supply in the field to have that feature, you just have to make sure the main power is off (any way you want to do it, I usually just yank the main molex connector from the motherboard) before you dick around with the motherboard. The switch is just a nice addition.
Slashdot is proof that Sturgeon's Law applies to mankind.
I watched our network admin connect a serial cable to the DNS server to troubleshoot it. Unfortunately, this crashed the machine completely, because it wasn't a serial cable. It was a UPS serial cable.
That particular UPS cable shorted two pins that then looked to the Sun box like a break, so it dropped to the firmware prompt.
Fortunately it was quick & dramatic enough that we examined the cable more closely before repeating the experiment. I think it was later that evening that he ran into the other behavior where the term emulator sent an unexpected break command, causing another surprise stop. Grrrr!
Assembly is the reverse of disassembly.
...on weed?
I actually do most of my upgrading while high. and a fair bit of programming too. Yes I am a geek/stoner. In my opinion it's a winning combination.
I am not writing this to brag about my 1337 5t0n3r 5ki115. Just representin' for my peeps who smoke the ganja and still take care of business. You probably won't notice us since we don't sleep on the sidewalk, and try to keep a low profile, but were there. Peace.
Do me a favor and double it!
0. Don't install hard drives while stupid. My sister's boyfriend once decided to add another drive to his PC. He forgot to buy a cable, so he used a spare floppy drive cable he had laying around. Fortunately he only fried the new drive.
The truth is that as long as you're generally carful and take reasonable precautions, nothing is too likely to go wrong, especially if you have a little expereince putting in various components. Just read the instructions for every component in advance, know what you're going to do and be reasonably careful about it. If you're not sure about something, don't do it until you've checked with somebody who has. And static. Don't let that happen. Make sure the outlets you're plugging into are grounded. Failing that (I don't have any), grab pipes to discharge (and don't shuffle your feet on the way back to your work). There's nothing terribly difficult about any of this. Best of Luck!
More tech-snobbery. I hope someone creates a tutorial and how not to have relations with the opposite sex so everyone here can be laughed at.
Good Grief Charlie Brown!
You all think yourselves so intelligent and yet you don't critique the obvious grammatical errors in this article?
U R ull EEl33T D00dz! Ruck 0n!
One thing not covered in the article is proper fuse replacement. One can prevent nuisance blown fuses (such as those caused by grounding the HDD's active bits against the case) by replacing the underrated PSU fuses supplied by the manufacturer with nails of a reasonable thickness. One can distinguish the underrated fuses (placed by the manufacturer to fail prematurely and drive new PSU sales) by their glass or ceramic enclosure.
Caveat Emptor is not a business model.
Yes, I used to use by dictaphone - but now I use my fingers like everyone else.. :-)
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
Damn, you ve seen the logical flaw in my otherwise impeccable joke. Foiled again..
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"