Lucas To Make New Live Action Star Wars Films

Oh, boy! by Black+Parrot · 2007-05-09 11:09 · Score: 5, Funny

I'm already in line to miss them.

--
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade

Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:13 · Score: 5, Informative

It is very likely that the piece simply refers to the two television series being put together, lucas calls them "live action films for tv". Try the dreaded aint-it-cool-news.com site for more details. (Nothing new to see here, move along or be pain-rayed...)
Re:Oh, boy! by Ice+Wewe · 2007-05-09 11:14 · Score: 1

CMG: "Ah Jar-Jar, everyone hates you but me."
I'm already missing him... what's on TV?
Re:Oh, boy! by Ice+Wewe · 2007-05-09 11:17 · Score: 1

CBG*: "Worst post ever!"
*Too late I realize the errors of my ways, damn spell checker!
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:19 · Score: 5, Funny

I'll probably go and watch them. In the cinema I will be screaming out implorations to merciful Allah for one thing, and one thing only. I don't care if Lucas plays all the parts, I don't care if he draws the lasers in crayon. All I want is the death of Jar Jar Binks.
Re:Oh, boy! by techno-vampire · 2007-05-09 11:23 · Score: 4, Funny

All I want is the death of Jar Jar Binks.

I hates him, my Precious! Yes, I does. I hates that Binks for ever and ever, my Precious!

--
Good, inexpensive web hosting
Re:Oh, boy! by theNote · 2007-05-09 11:25 · Score: 4, Insightful

I discounted the article as soon it compared Rush to Poison.
Re:Oh, boy! by Jamu · 2007-05-09 11:34 · Score: 3, Insightful

Jar Jar Binks was only added so we'd forget how much we hated the muppet from the Empire Strikes Back. I just don't want to think about what's in the new films that'll make me like Jar Jar Binks.

--
Who ordered that?
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:40 · Score: 0

I can't wait to see another Holiday Special!

Happy Life Day, everybody.
Re:Oh, boy! by surfdaddy · 2007-05-09 12:00 · Score: 1

Hopefully they're more live action than JarJar.
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:06 · Score: 1, Insightful

Do not want!
Re:Oh, boy! by lastchance_000 · 2007-05-09 12:13 · Score: 4, Insightful

Good point, but he lost me when he called Lucas a genius.
Re:Oh, boy! by wizzahd · 2007-05-09 12:17 · Score: 1

::waves hand::

You want to watch the new Star Wars films.
Re:Oh, boy! by nomadic · 2007-05-09 12:22 · Score: 1

I'll probably go and watch them. In the cinema I will be screaming out implorations

And people won't understand while you're screaming, because the movie won't be playing at the time you're there, since the article says they're going straight to TV.
Re:Oh, boy! by digitig · 2007-05-09 12:26 · Score: 5, Funny

"These are not the movies you are looking for."

--
Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
Re:Oh, boy! by Ian+Alanai · 2007-05-09 12:43 · Score: 2, Funny

If it involves nuking Naboo from space, just to be sure, then I am *there*.

--
Whichever way you look at it, it's true. I'm not.
Re:Oh, boy! by magarity · 2007-05-09 12:47 · Score: 1

the article says they're going straight to TV

Now I'm really worried. The Holiday Special also went straight to TV. And all you people complaining about Jar-jar obviously don't know Itchy and Lumpy.
Re:Oh, boy! by Lumpy · 2007-05-09 13:19 · Score: 1

No you are way off.

It's the kids series, "a Jar-Jar adventure in the senate", and the gritty HBO only special miniseries, "my life as a Clone soldier"

--
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Re:Oh, boy! by 7Prime · 2007-05-09 13:21 · Score: 1

FUCKING FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK! Now I'm never going to go to that site. When you can't tell the difference between god old thoughtful, intelligent, witty progrock, and hair metal, you have NO TASTE.

--
Multiplayer Gaming (defined): Sitting around, discussing single-player games with my friends, at the bar.
Re:Oh, boy! by obeythefist · 2007-05-09 13:24 · Score: 1

Lucas makes more money than I can imagine. Maybe he knows something you don't? Don't be so quick to laugh when someone calls a self-made millionaire a genius.

--
I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me. -- G.I.R.
Re:Oh, boy! by robbiethefett · 2007-05-09 13:26 · Score: 1

In other news, geeks all over the world have banded together to try to get Lucas classified as a war criminal, and officially declare all of his post-return-of-the-jedi works as crimes against humanity.

--
"Luke, you've switched off your targeting computer, what's wrong?"
Re:Oh, boy! by Paradise+Pete · 2007-05-09 14:00 · Score: 5, Funny

Don't be so quick to laugh when someone calls a self-made millionaire a genius.
By that measure, Britney Spears is a genius.
Re:Oh, boy! by that+this+is+not+und · 2007-05-09 14:07 · Score: 2, Insightful

The Holiday Special is my favorite of all the films from the Star Wars series. I mean, it features a full-length Jefferson Starship video. None of the other films can beat that.

Maybe these new films will be a celebration of Life Day as well.
Re:Oh, boy! by StikyPad · 2007-05-09 14:17 · Score: 3, Insightful

Well Lucas seems to think he's a genius, and if he thinks so, it must be true!
"Spider-Man 3." What did he think of it?

"It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"

Well, it's not "Star Wars."

"People thought 'Star Wars' was silly, too," he added, with a wink. "But it wasn't."
He's such a genius that he's the only one who can see the brilliance in the new Star Wars.

Don't get me wrong, I thought Spidey 3 was by far the worst, but is was certainly no sillier than SW Episode 1 or 2.

--
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
Re:Oh, boy! by Hal_Porter · 2007-05-09 14:18 · Score: 3, Insightful

"Undocumented MSDOS" once described MSDOS as being the most leveraged piece of code ever written because it was small (<100K) and licensed for a huge sum of money. So in terms of leveraging, if you had one talented person who earned a modest salary and one talentless one making millions, the talentless one is actually a genius at leveraging.

I'm sure all the slashdot elitists will whine about luck and marketing and so on, but consider the fact that there were lots of potential competitors to both DOS and Britney that sunk without trace. By all accounts, both Microsoft and Britney worked hard to succeed and make sure that they were contractually in control once they did. I think that's probably the lesson I'll tell my kids - raw talent counts for nothing, success is about hard work, negotiation and planning while they listen to what ever the current version of Britney is on Windows 2020.

--
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Re:Oh, boy! by Hal_Porter · 2007-05-09 14:24 · Score: 3, Funny

Yeah, the some of the audience cheered when Yoda did his athletic light saber fight in one of the prequels, but they still looked tired as they left the cinema.

I like to think that watching the same dire movie in the private cinema in his bunker, George Lucas got a little younger and thinner when that happened, as he sucked the life force out of them through the screen.

--
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Re:Oh, boy! by Babbster · 2007-05-09 14:39 · Score: 1

I'll take even the worst Sam Raimi work over any of the three prequels. I saw the first prequel in a theater, the second on HBO, and still haven't seen the third - I quit two movies too late. Lousy writing, lousy directing and lousy acting (often not the fault of the actors),,,the trifecta of Star Wars disappointment.
Re:Oh, boy! by loganrapp · 2007-05-09 15:04 · Score: 1

Exactly. When you manage to make Natalie Portman look bad, basically I kill you.
Re:Oh, boy! by MightyMartian · 2007-05-09 15:14 · Score: 1

Bring on the Wookie porn!

--
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
Re:Oh, boy! by kevlarman · 2007-05-09 15:46 · Score: 1

I saw the first prequel in a theater, the second on HBO, and still haven't seen the third big mistake, the third one was the only one of the prequels that was actually good (not as good as the original trilogy, but definitely good enough that you can't compare it to episodes 1 and 2 like that)

--
A mouse is a device used to point to the xterm you want to type in
Re:Oh, boy! by PyroMosh · 2007-05-09 15:47 · Score: 1

Your whole argument seems to hinge around the idea that success hinges on intelligence (Genius as you put it). You give no evidence to support this.

I'll agree that it is sometimes the case. However, do you really think that it's the case with Britney Spears? And even if it were, she's a product, not the mastermind. She had managers and handlers who planed her career and marketed her. She was just the pretty face that they cast for the role. I honestly think that it could have been any of thousands of girls who could be Spears now.

There are certainly other variables besides "genius" in success. Monitary or otherwise.

--
Touch everywhere, even when inappropriate.
Re:Oh, boy! by trianglman · 2007-05-09 16:09 · Score: 4, Funny

Fortunately, its going right to TV, so all you have to do is set your Tivo/MythTV box to record something else.

--
Clones are people two.
Re:Oh, boy! by Jon-1 · 2007-05-09 16:10 · Score: 2, Funny

It's sad because somewhere 20 people are already in line.
Re:Oh, boy! by krabigail · 2007-05-09 16:16 · Score: 1

No need to worry about crappy dialogue if it's all written in Wookie!
Re:Oh, boy! by Hal_Porter · 2007-05-09 16:23 · Score: 1

Your whole argument seems to hinge around the idea that success hinges on intelligence (Genius as you put it).

No it doesn't. At least not in the sense of IQ. I guess you could call it social intelligence, but I think even that misrepresents it. It's about having a clear strategy and working hard to implement it by negotiating effectively with people. I actually don't think this requires a high IQ at all, and it certainly doesn't require that you have any special talent other than social intelligence.

My point is that people like us that grew up thinking intelligence is solely measured by math test scores tend to underestimate this because we don't understand it.

I'll agree that it is sometimes the case. However, do you really think that it's the case with Britney Spears? And even if it were, she's a product, not the mastermind. She had managers and handlers who planed her career and marketed her. She was just the pretty face that they cast for the role. I honestly think that it could have been any of thousands of girls who could be Spears now.

How do you know? I saw a video clip of her telling off an interviewer for "being the worst prepared interview that she'd ever done" that was hilarious and a tad scary. And if there were thousands of other girls who were pretty, Britney must have had something besides a pretty face to climb over them on the slippery slope to success.

It could all be luck of course, but I bet you'd find that most of the losers lost because they made mistakes at some point that Britney never did. I think it's like any game - your chance of winning is mostly determined by the skill level you have. If you're really skilled you can even turn bad luck to your advantage.

--
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Re:Oh, boy! by Babbster · 2007-05-09 16:24 · Score: 1

Friends have told me the same, but I'll probably never find out. After the first one I knew I'd only watch the second on TV, and after the second I knew I'd never watch the third unless the stars aligned and I was left no other decent option. I suspect being bed-bound, alone, and with dead batteries in the remote is the only way it'll happen.
Re:Oh, boy! by obeythefist · 2007-05-09 16:52 · Score: 1

No, Britney Spears was manufactured by the RIAA. Likewise, Paris Hilton inherited her millions. Lucas wasn't rich when he started, he just made up a product everyone liked. Then he messed it up later on, but at least he did it all himself.

--
I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me. -- G.I.R.
Re:Oh, boy! by MidnightBrewer · 2007-05-09 17:10 · Score: 1

No, because she was manufactured, not self-made. Hence her current melt-down. You can only stand to have your life run for you for so long.

--
"Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 17:26 · Score: 0

> And if there were thousands of other girls who were pretty, Britney must have had something besides a pretty face
> to climb over them on the slippery slope to success.

Urh, never heard of "luck"?
Re:Oh, boy! by some+damn+guy · 2007-05-09 19:03 · Score: 1

Not to split hairs, but ol' George is a billionare. That's a B. George could marry and divorce Kevin Federline every year until he dies and still have more money than Brittney He has huge business dealings in ILM, Lucasarts et. all.

In fact. he paid for all of the new Star Wars movies out of his pocket. Completely self financed, just pulled out his checkbook, more or less.

Directing is just a hobby, and of course it shows. If he makes another one like ep. III, though I'll go see it. It was at least worthy of the name.
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 19:11 · Score: 0

When was Rush ever Metal?
Re:Oh, boy! by StarfishOne · 2007-05-09 20:10 · Score: 1

*howl* *grunt* *howl* *grunt* :D
Re:Oh, boy! by fireylord · 2007-05-09 20:32 · Score: 0

Holy unexpected fictional world character crossover batman!
Re:Oh, boy! by slugstone · 2007-05-09 20:46 · Score: 1

I bet he makes more money then you do.
Re:Oh, boy! by Hal_Porter · 2007-05-09 21:47 · Score: 1

Somehow I get the feeling that successful people would probably read to the end of comment they were replying to. Or not bother read the site, one of the other.

--
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 01:27 · Score: 0

Imagine, the scene opens on Jar Jar Binks seated at a table in a small room with one door and a big mirror behind him. He is at the offices of the Galactic Terrorist Unit (GTU). In walks Darth Bauer looking for information about the rebelion... amusement ensues...
Re:Oh, boy! by cpt.hugenstein · 2007-05-10 02:26 · Score: 1

No doubt! I don't think that I would consider Rush to be 'musically insignifignt' either. Fox is trying to prove that they are hip by discounting good bands from the past; being Canadian probably has something to do with it to. Meanwhile they play the most culturally signifigant programs on TV I have ever seen.
Re:Oh, boy! by direpath · 2007-05-10 02:30 · Score: 1

And don't forget the brilliance of letting Caravan of Courage and The Ewok Adventure see the light of day. First thing I thought of when I read this was those two movies.

*shudder*

--
"It's amazing what velocity can do when human beings are in season" -Matthew Good
Re:Oh, boy! by Steve001 · 2007-05-10 02:43 · Score: 1

wizzahd wrote:

::waves hand::

You want to watch the new Star Wars films.

...starts to fall into a trace...

...remembers "Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones...

...overcome with horror...

...snaps out of trance and screams...

.humor-attempt off

After my experience with the Prequel Trilogy, I think I will wait until the movie/TV series/OVA/animated movie/anime movie (whichever it finally takes) is released on video before I see it.

Now if it was a new Robotech or Star Blazers movie....
Re:Oh, boy! by jollyreaper · 2007-05-10 02:44 · Score: 1

I discounted the article as soon it compared Rush to Poison. This is from Faux News. They think Bush is a good president so what the fuck would they know about music?

--
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
Re:Oh, boy! by Abcd1234 · 2007-05-10 02:51 · Score: 1

Good until Lucas ruins it with the worst scene in the entirety of movie history. Whenever I think about it, I feel the urge to cry out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!".
Re:Oh, boy! by Analogy+Man · 2007-05-10 02:58 · Score: 1

That's...
Marketing Genius

--
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
Re:Oh, boy! by prelelat · 2007-05-10 03:04 · Score: 1

What Lucas did when he was younger was pure gold. I have seen alot of his movies when I was younger not knowing that they were his movies and thinking it was awsome. I grew up with Lucas. I don't know what happend, maybe he tried to do for the current generation what he did for my generation, and couldn't quite figure it out. I find it sad in one comment that he said he would no longer make films after Indy 4. I think Lucas just needs to develop a new story for a new generation instead of trying to adapt an old story to a new geration.

Honestly if you put the three episodes up by themselves and didn't call them star wars they would be pretty good. Not epic like the original ones or his other movies, but still watchable. I found the hardest part in watching the new movies was that he ruined my love for the original ones. It was okay it grew back and now I think I could even watch them and be okay. Lucas has changed over the years as any director should, so he changed the story a bit. He probably shouldn't have changed his own creations though, because like I said they were gold.

Britney Spears music is composed in a studio writen and synthasized by other people and machines, it should be more or less called the Britney Spears project and the people in the studio should be the ones taking credit for her work. Paris Hilton inherited her money and it shows, shes a snob who would rather people just love her because shes rich. At least thats the impression I get.

Britney herself is a sad story, I don't know if shes ever had her own life, now she doesn't know what to do. I can't blame her for whats happend in the last couple years, shes basicly acting out against her career. Mickey mouse Club all that junk maybe was her idea at one time, but I don't know if she was ever alowed to grow into her own person and now shes trying to. I think she will figure it out in the end.
Re:Oh, boy! by lastchance_000 · 2007-05-10 03:38 · Score: 1

Ok, I should have clarified: They lost me when they called him a genius director.
Re:Oh, boy! by justkarl · 2007-05-10 03:56 · Score: 1

Well, it IS fox news.
Re:Oh, boy! by Autonomous+Crowhard · 2007-05-10 06:16 · Score: 1

Thank you for that reference. I read the paragraph about this and the author is SO far off that I find it safe to assume the rest of the article is crap too. Fake falsetto? Big hair? Zero research.
Re:Oh, boy! by AgentSmith · 2007-05-10 06:34 · Score: 1

When was Rush ever Metal?

Kinda around the 2112 days.

Look people, it's like this.

The band Rush -
[Geddy Lee (Vocals, Bassists, Keyboards)
Alex Lifeson (Guitar, Strings, mebbe some hidden vocals?)
Neal Peart (Percussionist aka. Drums etc., lyricist)]

started out in the 70's in Canada.
They were big fans of Led Zepplin which led to the early high toned vocals and the Zep stereotypes.
Through the 70's they developed more of their own style.
In the 80's they went with a more modern synth image like most bands.(Y'know mod ties, styled hair and heavy use of synths and drum tracks)
I challenge anyone to show me how you could call them a "hair band"!

In the 80's and early 90's they moved from a mod-synth image to a combo of alternative styles.
Rush adapted with the times and became a more seasoned band where each member even took on some songwriting tasks. Each member also cut some solo albums.
During the late 90's Neal Peart's daughter died in a car accident and following his wife died from a terminal illness. Peart has a rep for being a little pretentious, but being hit with such severe trauma made him go on hiatus. It was almost indefinite until Rush released another album in 2001.

BUT WHEN DID THE AUTHOR MISS THE FUCKING 17 RELEASED STUDIO,LIVE AND COMPILATIONS ALBUMS BETWEEN 1981 AND NOW!!!!

RUSH IS BACK??!!! WHEN DID THEY FUCKING LEAVE??!!! HEY!! MAN-ABOUT-FUCKING-TOWN!!! HOW ABOUT GETTING OFF YOUR GAY LUCAS ASS-KISSING BUTT AND GO TO A RECORD STORE ONCE IN A WHILE!!!!!

Ok. I feel better now.
YMMV, but IMHO comparing Rush to the likes of Poison is like comparing Patrick Stewart to Tom Arnold.
Re:Oh, boy! by demonbug · 2007-05-10 07:29 · Score: 1

Have you actually seen Spiderman 3? It was absolutely awful. Though to be fair, the comment I made right after seeing it was, "What, did they get Lucas to write it?" - it had the same shallow, poorly-written and pitifully acted feel that the prequels possess. The main difference is that the non-sensical action sequences in Spidey appear to have been done on the cheap (despite the record-breaking cost of the movie), with generally very poor/un-lifelike animation, whereas the non-sensical action sequences in the prequels at least look really nice.

I wasn't really a big fan of the first two Spiderman movies (the first was okay, the second was pretty bad), but #3 is just terrible. It's one of those movies where you sit there cringing at the dialogue, bored by the special effects, and basically just waiting for the movie to be over. I'm actually a little embarassed that I paid money to go see it - definitely the worst movie I've seen in the theater in the last few years. The prequels weren't as good as I'd expected (or hoped), and they were painful at times (particularly the second one), but they didn't leave the bad taste in my mouth after enduring them that Spidey did.
Re:Oh, boy! by metamatic · 2007-05-10 08:31 · Score: 1

Lucas was a genius. He made one truly stunning film, THX 1138.

The tragedy is that he's not a brave man. THX 1138 was so hated by Warner Brothers that Lucas and friends literally had to steal it from the screening to stop Warner's from grabbing it and editing it into something they liked. When the movie failed to be a big commercial success, it almost destroyed American Zoetrope, his friends' movie company.

As a result, Lucas became incredibly risk averse and set out to make the most populist movies he could come up with. Hence the warm nostalgia of American Graffiti, followed by the nostalgic "Saturday serial" formula of Star Wars.

What I don't understand is why he's still playing the shameless populist today. Maybe he's just lost that fire.

--
GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
Re:Oh, boy! by Paradise+Pete · 2007-05-10 08:56 · Score: 1

Not to split hairs, but ol' George is a billionare.
Not to split hairs, but I was responding to what he said, not what you would later think.
Re:Oh, boy! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 14:16 · Score: 0

Highlander II crossover!

(You'll be begging for Jar-Jar!)
Re:Oh, boy! by Babbster · 2007-05-10 14:35 · Score: 1

No, I haven't seen Spider-Man 3 yet, but I probably will in a week or two (I have no interest in crowds and I have plenty to do besides going to the movie theater). I wonder, though, why have you? You said "the first was okay, the second was pretty bad." So, why did you go - during opening week, no less - to see a third movie in a series which so far you've barely liked, if at all? That's some poor decision-making IMHO.

Dramatic pause by grasshoppa · 2007-05-09 11:11 · Score: 4, Funny

Nnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Stupid lameness filter is causing issues

--
Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

Re:Dramatic pause by dedazo · 2007-05-09 11:30 · Score: 1

Maybe this time we'll know who fired first...

--
Web2.0: I love when people Flickr my cuil and digg my boingboing until my google is reddit and I start to yahoo
Re:Dramatic pause by SpectreHiro · 2007-05-09 11:39 · Score: 5, Funny

I believe the Backstroke of the West version is a little more appropriate.

Do not want!

--
You can't win, Darth. If you mod me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Re:Dramatic pause by Rimbo · 2007-05-09 12:17 · Score: 1

Actually, that makes sense. For one thing, there's no literal equivalent to "no" or "yes" in Chinese. And for another, it sounds really good:

"BU YAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO"
Re:Dramatic pause by etheranger · 2007-05-09 12:54 · Score: 1

Lucas is making another Star Wars travesty?
Good good good, let us counter-attacking.
Re:Dramatic pause by flickwipe · 2007-05-09 21:04 · Score: 1

So I clicked the link and read through them and saw the screen of Yoda talking to Chewbacca.

This got me thinking.

Chewbacca and Luke were around a lot together. Theres a good chance they would have talked a bit.

Chewbacca: Grrooowwwwwhhhhhh *Translation: Alright Luke. Whats with all the bags?
Luke: I've gotta fly to some place call Dagaboo or something.
Chewbacca: Hrrruuuhhhhhh *Dagobah? Don't bother. Smells like a Hutts arse.
Luke: But Ben told me too.
Chewbacca: Whhoommmmm whomm whhhoommm *That old farts dead. Stay with me and Han. Were gonna get Leia pissed and see if she gets her titties out.
Luke: Love to but I have to go and talk to someone called Yoda.
Chewbacca: Gaaaaahhhhhhh *Yoda..... Yoda..... Holy shit! Litle guy! Big fucking ears? Yeah I know Yoda!
Luke: No fucking way! Small fucking galaxy huh. How you know him?
Chewbacca: Hrrrrrnnnhhh *Ah, you know. When I was younger I got up to all kinds of shit. Like during the Clone Wars, all the Jedi's got whacked except for Yoda, some guy called Obi Kenobi and a tall guy called Anakin Skywalker. Last I heard Obi chopped Anakin into sushi and left him on some volcano .... hey... ain't your surname Skywalker too?.... Luke? .......Luke man.... You alright? You've gone white as a ghost....Luke?

Isn't it obvious? by FMota91 · 2007-05-09 11:11 · Score: 0

"Is it Obi Wan Kenobi taim nau?"

--
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C1 bottles of beer on the wall. Take one down, pass it round... Oh, umm...

parts 3 and 4 by megacia · 2007-05-09 11:11 · Score: 5, Funny

of the ewok series! go wicket!

Re:parts 3 and 4 by ccarson · 2007-05-09 11:37 · Score: 0, Interesting

Best news all day. I could watch new Star Wars forever just as long as Jar Jars not in it.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by techsoldaten · 2007-05-09 11:52 · Score: 4, Funny

Titles have already been leaked.

Star Wars 7: Return of the Ragnar

Star Wars 8: The Gammorean Strikes Back

M
Re:parts 3 and 4 by anothy · 2007-05-09 13:00 · Score: 4, Funny

we should be so lucky. i'm expecting "Star Wars Episode 7: Jar Jar's Revenge" and "Star Wars Episode 8: Spawn of Jar Jar".

--

i speak for myself and those who like what i say.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by slashbob22 · 2007-05-09 13:20 · Score: 1

we should be so lucky. i'm expecting "Star Wars Episode 7: Jar Jar's Revenge" and "Star Wars Episode 8: Spawn of Jar Jar". And of course who could forget: "Star Wars Episode 9: Undiscovered Jar Jar"

--
Proof by very large bribes. QED.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by thrillseeker · 2007-05-09 13:31 · Score: 1

If it combines the chainsaw and shower scene from Scarface along with Jar Jar, I'm buying the HiDef version ...
Re:parts 3 and 4 by Curtman · 2007-05-09 14:11 · Score: 4, Funny

I guess we can assume the George Lucas To Quit Movie Business story is dead..
Re:parts 3 and 4 by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 14:18 · Score: 0

Has Netcraft confirmed it?
Re:parts 3 and 4 by trentblase · 2007-05-09 15:29 · Score: 1

Star Wars Episode 10: Jar Jar In Time
Re:parts 3 and 4 by dgatwood · 2007-05-09 17:21 · Score: 1

Star Wars Episode 11: Jar Jar in Carbonite (either variety).

--
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by Joren · 2007-05-09 18:16 · Score: 1

Actually, my understanding from the articles is that he was quitting the feature film business and going into made-for-TV stuff instead. From the quitting story, we have
"We don't want to make movies. We're about to get into television. As far as Lucasfilm is concerned, we've moved away from the feature film thing because it's too expensive and it's too risky." ... He calls himself "semi-retired" but reiterated his plans to direct "small movies, esoteric in nature," after his other projects are launched. He expects to serve as exec producer on the two features and the TV shows, including a live-action "Star Wars" skein.
Note that the quote from the earlier article even mentions the Star Wars live-action. And from the new article, we have:
The two extra films will also be made for TV and probably be an hour long each. But, like "Clone Wars," Lucas doesn't know where on TV they will land. Hello, HBO and Showtime. It may be time to pony up.
Draw your own conclusions.

--
-- Joren
Re:parts 3 and 4 by simm1701 · 2007-05-09 19:07 · Score: 3, Funny

Resevoir Jar Jar?

"Misa mistar Pink!"

"No no, yusa mistar blue!"

"No no Pink!! Misa Pink!!!"

Worth seeing for the seen where the cut BOTH of his ears off - otherwise I'd avoid it ;)

--
$_="Slashdotter";$syn="OTT";s;..;;;sub _{print shift||$_};s!ash!Perl !;s=$syn=ack=i;tr+LLEd+BLAH+;_"Just Another ";_
Re:parts 3 and 4 by superyooser · 2007-05-09 19:40 · Score: 1

Wookiees on a Plane

Ewoks on a Plane
Re:parts 3 and 4 by Opportunist · 2007-05-09 21:07 · Score: 1

And then finally to recover the loss and get a blockbuster that dwarves the old trilogy: Star Wars 10: Jar Jar's demise"

But with the rekindled interest, I see a problem on the horizon: Star Wars 11: Jar Jar's legacy.

--
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by Opportunist · 2007-05-09 21:10 · Score: 2, Funny

Hey, you want a blockbuster shocker splatter movie that every Star Wars fan will enjoy?

How about "Wookies and Ewoks on a Plane"?

Throw in Jar Jar (or rather, throw him out of that Plane and make that drop scene a reeeeeeally long one), and you have people lined up to see him in queues that you can see from the moon!

--
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by tiluki · 2007-05-09 23:57 · Score: 1

Already been done I'm afraid: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087225/

Was known as "Caravan of Courage" in the UK (not the sort you get stuck behind in narrow country lanes on bank holidays - but basically the wearying effect:-)
Re:parts 3 and 4 by TheMadcapZ · 2007-05-09 23:58 · Score: 1, Funny

"Star Whores: Jar Jar gets Binked"

"Star Whores: Resurgence of Sithullis "

"Star Whores: Jammed in Jar Jar"

"Star Whores: Gungan Gonads Galore"

"Star Whores: Attack of the Clone Bones"

George, feel free to use any of the above.
Re:parts 3 and 4 by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 00:23 · Score: 0

Must be a Jar Jar loving douchebag with Mod Points modding down all the funny anti-JarJar posts.

Sad waste of life this person must be ~Yoda
Re:parts 3 and 4 by jakel2k · 2007-05-10 07:09 · Score: 1

Master Windu: "I'm tired of these MF Wookies on this MF plane!!! Get these MF Ewoks off these MF plane!!!"

Excellent idea! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:11 · Score: 5, Funny

Hopefully he will take a cue and make it similar to the "Holiday Special".

I can't wait to see the dynamics of Jar-Jar's family!

Re:Excellent idea! by Robber+Baron · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 4, Funny

I can't wait to see the dynamics of Jar-Jar's family! You got girlfriend in Naboo?
Meesa horny! Meesa horny!
Meesa love you longsa time!

--
You're using her as bait, Master!
Re:Excellent idea! by hal2814 · 2007-05-09 11:51 · Score: 3, Insightful

That would be a most excellent twist of irony. After all, this is the same interview where he called Spiderman 3 silly. Spiderman 3 is a bit silly but for Lucas to call it that and then throw around the idea of doing two hour-long Star Wars movies without any Skywalkers in them?
Re:Excellent idea! by Rodness · 2007-05-09 12:07 · Score: 1

LOL!! I wish I had mod points for you! :)
Re:Excellent idea! by Tatisimo · 2007-05-09 12:20 · Score: 1

Let's have a Death and Resurrection special, where Jar Jar gets crucified (with a cool technological plasma hammer on a totally synthetic surface) and gets resurrected by sticking his brain in a robot. Gungans hiding eggs for the kids will be a big hit, I say!

--
Give Kashyyyk back to the Wookies
Re:Excellent idea! by nytes · 2007-05-09 13:24 · Score: 4, Funny

Personally, I'm holding out for him to finish his "Howard the Duck" trilogy.

--
-- I have monkeys in my pants.
Re:Excellent idea! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 19:03 · Score: 0

Err... that should be "Yousa got girlfriend in Naboo?" Sent shivers down my back either way.
Re:Excellent idea! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 23:53 · Score: 0

Force Metal Jacket?
Re:Excellent idea! by poot_rootbeer · 2007-05-10 01:35 · Score: 1

Hopefully he will take a cue and make it similar to the "Holiday Special".

Everyone knows that Lucas's original conception of the 20-minute-long holographic tumbling routine was CGI-based, but they had to make compromises because the technology wasn't mature enough at that time.

And this time the holograph table controls will look like a CD player, instead of being borrowed from a Radio Shack tape deck.

I have always said by geekoid · 2007-05-09 11:12 · Score: 3, Funny

the Star Wars universe would be a great setting for many different kinds of stories..then Timothy Zahn came along and proved me wrong.

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Re:I have always said by Harmonious+Botch · 2007-05-09 11:17 · Score: 2, Insightful

You still are correct: it is a great setting. All that Mr.Zahn has proven is that he can't write them.
Re:I have always said by geekoid · 2007-05-09 11:29 · Score: 5, Interesting

How cool would a Film Noir in Mos Eisley be?

Or a wandering Jedi, a'la Zatoichi?

The story of recovering the Death Star plans?

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:36 · Score: 0

The Death Star plans were retrieved by Kyle Katarn in Dark Forces (waaaay before he became a jedi). I love SW :D
Re:I have always said by policy · 2007-05-09 11:39 · Score: 1

I agree that much can be done with the Star Wars universe. The best thing to happen to star wars is time, now that all of the actors are a bit old to recruit for another go at it,.. they may as well try something new. Technology has changed so much and so have are ideas of how stories in space should play out. Fighting, super star ships, zap zap versus boom boom.. I don't know but there is a difference and I think we'll be in for a good story... for once.

Lucas tried to do so much with the previous star wars films that he lost site of the sexy and exciting world he created by getting stuck in the details. His concerns seemed to have more to do with meshing new movies into a universe and world that not even the creator himself was worthy of. He now has a chance to do it all over again.

--
Policy
Re:I have always said by Drooling+Iguana · 2007-05-09 11:53 · Score: 1

They were also retrieved by the unnamed pilot in X-Wing. I think Dark Alliance also involved stealing the Death Star plans, although I haven't played the game.

--
... I'm addicted to placebos
Re:I have always said by TooMuchToDo · 2007-05-09 11:54 · Score: 1

.....all without George Lucas at the helm.
Re:I have always said by Duhavid · 2007-05-09 12:06 · Score: 1

A blind Jedi wandering around, cutting people up?

It would not be unexpected that a Jedi could defend himself
without sight, so I dont think it would work. And the sword
slashing noises would be drowned out in the "woooz woooz"
noises. And no blood spurting everywhere. Nope.

Lana Turner and John Garfield in "The PostDroid always rings 2^32-1 times",
set on Tattoine? That works, sure.

Humphrey Bogart in "The Corusant Falcon"? Darth-Gutman searching
for a black bird? Wanted for the death of a furby?

--
emt 377 emt 4
Re:I have always said by Cervantes · 2007-05-09 12:07 · Score: 1

[quote]The story of recovering the Death Star plans?[/quote]

It's funny you should mention that... :)
"Star Wars: Secrets of the Rebellion" will deal with that very subject (amongst others)

Read more at www.xpressentertainment.ca

--
If I knew the wedgies I gave you back in 6th grade would have resulted in this . . . I might have taken a moments pause.
Re:I have always said by bubkus_jones · 2007-05-09 12:09 · Score: 1

"The story of recovering the Death Star plans?"

Covered in the game Dark Forces (the precurser to Jedi Knight/Outcast), among other games.
Re:I have always said by GrodinTierce · 2007-05-09 12:15 · Score: 4, Insightful

I would have to emphatically disagree. I've always thought that the Thrawn trilogy was some of the best Star Wars writing out there, and it would have made a great conclusion to Lucas's original idea of a trilogy of trilogies if it had been done back in the 80s or 90s when it was still possible to use the original actors.

--

Tierce
Who sponsors your feelings?
Re:I have always said by geekoid · 2007-05-09 12:20 · Score: 1

I was tlaking about the great story points, not the cutting people up points.
I know it's a little hard for some people to sit through the 'boring' no blood parts, much less relize there is a story there.

I also assumed the Jedi wouldn't be wearing a big fucking sign that says "I'm a Jedi, so never mind that I am blind".

gah. Your lack of vision is disturbing..or something

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Re:I have always said by Duhavid · 2007-05-09 12:35 · Score: 1

I also assumed the Jedi wouldn't be wearing a big fucking sign that says "I'm a Jedi, so never mind that I am blind".

I knew that. I was thinking more of the audience reaction being something like
"well, of course he/she/it knows about moving toward
Jedi Siggymorpahginfah. Yeah, parry, dodge, thrust dodge. Predictable. zzzzz."
And I am sure they can jazz it up like Yoda's fight scenes, but eye candy
for eye candy's sake is not great film-making ( in my opinion anyway ).

--
emt 377 emt 4
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:53 · Score: 0

I'm in the middle of the last command right now, certianly, it is not well written, nor is the story that good, but really how high were your expencations from any franchise turned mass market SF novel? surely Star Trek books are no more compelling?
Re:I have always said by ukemike · 2007-05-09 13:16 · Score: 2, Funny

The Continuing Adventures of Jar Jar Binks
or
The Star Wars Holiday Special, Special Edition
or
The Holiday Special Strikes Back
or
The Young Han Solo Adventures
or
Howard the Jedi Duck
or
Correllian Graffiti
or
Jar Jar Binks and the Temple of Dumb

Who here agrees that Lucas is just beating a dead bantha?

--
-- QED
Re:I have always said by Schmiggy_JK · 2007-05-09 13:20 · Score: 5, Insightful

You are kidding me right? Zahn's first three novels were probably better than most of george's scripts. George just cant do dialog. Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command aka the Thrawn trilogy is some of the best non cannon Star Wars works period.

--
Insert something witty here...
Re:I have always said by Canthros · 2007-05-09 13:33 · Score: 1

While I think Zahn's actually a competent SF writer (and agree that his books among the best of the Star Wars stories I've read), I want to point out that 'best Star Wars writing out there' is not a particularly high bar. Some of 'the best' Star Wars stories are still gawdawful.

--
Canthros
Re:I have always said by Kuukai · 2007-05-09 13:34 · Score: 1

What about all the dying Bothans?

--
Sendou Wave Kick!!
Re:I have always said by lawpoop · 2007-05-09 13:40 · Score: 1

I thought Han Solo stories would be cool -- something ala James Bond. The plots would be the various adventures and tight calls Han had to make as a smuggler. Get rid of the Jedis, get rid of the rebellion and saving the galaxy, show us the dark, seedy, varied underworlds of the galaxy. Show us the dark side of Han.

--
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso
Re:I have always said by BillPosters · 2007-05-09 13:43 · Score: 1

You're Kidding right? I thought his books were quite good.
Or maybe I just thought better of Zahn's work after I read Kevin J. Anderson's novels.
Anderson is not only, by far, the worst of the Star Wars novelists, he is easily the worst published writer I have ever read.
He deserves far worse than death, if only for what he's done to the Dune universe.
Re:I have always said by Kuukai · 2007-05-09 13:44 · Score: 1

I read them as a kid so my view may be distorted, but I agree. I thought they were a lot better than the other novels. The prequels of course ruined them, as they ruined the entire expanded universe, but a lot of Zahn's setting is better than Lucas's. If cloaking is so practical (Darth Maul's ship), why the hell doesn't everyone do it?

--
Sendou Wave Kick!!
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 13:49 · Score: 0

Except, of course, for those people with enough taste to appreciate the books.

Not all of us are fanboys who just like the shoot-em-up.
Re:I have always said by Coryoth · 2007-05-09 14:08 · Score: 3, Interesting

Zatoichi? Nah, Lucas should go back to ripping off Kurosawa. How about Seven samurai with six ex-jedi and one farmers son? Or perhaps a nice Star Wars version of Yojimbo and Sanjuro?

--
Craft Beer Programming T-shirts
Re:I have always said by Carlinya · 2007-05-09 14:12 · Score: 0

I agree.

I found Zahn's books quite good, actually. Loved Heir to the Empire.

--
1 + 1 = 3?
Re:I have always said by Simon+Garlick · 2007-05-09 15:12 · Score: 1

Step away from the crack pipe. Zahn is to Star Wars as K Anderson and B Herbert are to Dune. You know... frat boy? Closet? Corpse?

--

-----
PGP Key ID 0xCB8FF658
Re:I have always said by MrNiceguy_KS · 2007-05-09 17:09 · Score: 1

Already been made. It's called Firefly.
Seriously though, I remember reading that one story Lucas had placed off-limits for the novels and comic books was the story of how Han and Chewie ended up working together. I was hoping it wouldn't be in Episode 3 because of the timeline. Han would have been just a kid, and after Episode 1, I knew I couldn't handle Lucas throwing another child hero into the mix.
There was a series of 3 short novels about Han Solo published back in '79 and '80 dealing with pre-episode 4 events. (Later released as 1 paperback, don't know if it's still in print) Haven't read them in years, but as I recall, they were OK, not great. There was also a trilogy of novels written in the late '90s that were a bit better as I recall. They covered a fairly large span of Han's life, but left a gaping, unexplained hole where he's just been kicked out of either the Imperial Academy or the Imperial Navy, (I forget which) and suddenly has a wookie that owes him a life-debt.
Of course, I got over my fanboyism and quit collecting the books once I was out of college. It could be that the story has been covered since then and I just haven't read it.

--
Redundancy is good And also good.
Re:I have always said by MrNiceguy_KS · 2007-05-09 17:20 · Score: 1

I agree on both Zahn and Anderson, though I've only read Anderson's Star Wars stuff.
Hey Kevin! Here's an idea for another Star Wars book! Write one about some evil guy building another superweapon!
I'm not sure about him deserving worse than death. I think that death would be sufficient, provided that every thing he had ever written was destroyed.
I haven't read any Star Wars novels in years, but my favorites were the X-Wing series, particularly the ones Stackpole wrote. I think one advantage they had was an entirely fresh set of characters. Though I do think it's kinda funny that books based off a computer game based off a movie are actually good.

--
Redundancy is good And also good.
Re:I have always said by Jesus_666 · 2007-05-09 20:24 · Score: 1

Well, if the point of the movie is that nobody knows it's a Jedi (perhaps because he doesn't tell anyone and doesn't use the force until absolutely necessary) then either the audience knows the the characters in the movie don't know - or they're morons in which case any move with more brain than episode III will confuse them.

Besides, the fight scenes aren't the important part of the movie. If I'd make such a movie the fights would be excessively short - Jedi draws lightsaber, Jedi makes three cuts, Jedi puts away lightsaber. Fight over, enemies dead. And the cuts wouldn't even be the ballet-like stuff Lucas seems to prefer but just three simple cuts. The Jedi wouldn't even make more than two steps in that fight.

There's more to the Star Wars universe than action movies.

--
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 21:18 · Score: 0

I always used to think how cool it would be if they would make the first 3 starwars movies, but George Lucas sure proved me wrong. I guess the old adage is true, be careful what you wish for, because it might come true.
Re:I have always said by john83 · 2007-05-09 21:48 · Score: 1

Having read both, I disagree. Zahn's not a great writer, but he's competent, and I've enjoyed his books. Anderson & B Herbert's are very much weaker, imo.

Perhaps Zahn's benefiting from following on from Lucas rather than Frank Herbert though!

--
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 21:50 · Score: 0

Though I do think it's kinda funny that books based off a computer game based off a movie are actually good. They're going to release a series of books based on the Lego-ised versions of the Star Wars computer games. What do you think of that? ;-)
Re:I have always said by hachete · 2007-05-09 22:55 · Score: 1

I agree, those are decent sources. We'd have an epic win on our hands *IF* Lucas was kept away from the writing, directing, cinematography, lighting, camera-work, special effects, catering, cleaning. In fact, keep him off the set(s) and shoots entirely; maybe invite him to the odd conference call for old times sake then I'd be a happy bunny.

--
Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious
Re:I have always said by geminidomino · 2007-05-10 00:03 · Score: 1

That was the 2nd Death star...

The original plans were *also* intercepted directly by Leia Organa aboard the Tantive IV (the Correlian Corvette depicted in the opening of ANH being attacked by the Star Destroyer *mumble*).
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 00:51 · Score: 0

"The story of recovering the Death Star plans?"

Many Bothans died to bring that information.

I mean, really, what more needs to be said?
Re:I have always said by Floritard · 2007-05-10 02:22 · Score: 1

I have to agree. But the coolness factor is inversely proportional to the temperature of George Lucas' body. At least Gene Roddenberry had the good graces to die early and let more talented people squeeze out a few good things from his interesting little creation. George Lucas is just a huge cock-block on a film universe that has so much potential. Looking at all the inspired designs that went into the new Star Wars movies -- the ships, the worlds, Ewan fucking McGregor -- all strangled to death by a terrible central story and piss-poor direction and it just makes me want scream just die you bearded monster!
Re:I have always said by Mdentari · 2007-05-10 03:39 · Score: 0

Yea I remember those books. Actually not bad at all. I like the one with Han's nemesis Berlando, and how Berlando actually wins their draw down at the end but dies stupidly afterwords. Great irony there and Han feeling lucky to be alive. I also read the Lando book "Cave of" something. It was not bad at all to. Those I wouldn't mind seeing on screen or TV or in OAV format.

--
Morality, filters both ways.
Re:I have always said by jafac · 2007-05-10 04:34 · Score: 1

I was thinking of a remake of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" - with Jedi, instead of Cowboys. Clint Eastwood could cameo as an old, worn-out, alcoholic ex-Jedi master, who could supply the "Jedi with no name" (ie. Blondie) with needed information.

They could film it in New Mexico.

--

These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
Re:I have always said by dreddnott · 2007-05-11 07:12 · Score: 1

The gunman's name was Gallandro, the books were by Brian Daley, and they're probably the three best Star Wars novels ever written. Daley's death in 1996 was rather tragic, as I believe he was planning on writing much more in the Star Wars universe.

--
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
Re:I have always said by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-11 11:53 · Score: 0

By "actors" you mean a set carpenter and a bunch of jokers who otherwise would have gone into porn or emptying dustbins? The Green Cross Code Man with a coalscuttle on his head was the best of the lot.

Just what I dreamed of! by shoemilk · 2007-05-09 11:13 · Score: 1

Sweet a Jar jar spin-off series!

Re:Just what I dreamed of! by teslar · 2007-05-09 11:30 · Score: 4, Funny

I've got a bad feeling about this....
Re:Just what I dreamed of! by largesnike · 2007-05-09 11:39 · Score: 1

Noooo-ooooo-oooo!!!!

--
"Laugh while you can a-monkey boy!" - Dr Emilio Lizardo
Re:Just what I dreamed of! by cashman73 · 2007-05-09 11:43 · Score: 5, Funny

The only plot of a successful Jar Jar Binks-based movie might be something like, Gungans on a Plane! They could re-cast Samuel L. Jackson back into his role as Mace Windu. It would be an epic tale of the Jedi Master in his early days battling the evil Gungans on the planet Naboo, ultimatel forcing their whole civilization into exile to live beneath the waters of the planet forever, hoping they'd be forgotten (until discovered in ep. 1 by Qui Gon and Obi Wan).
"I am sick and tired of these mother-f**king Gungans . . . on this mother-f**king starship!"
Hmm, come to think if it, I might actually pay to see this movie! ;-)
Re:Just what I dreamed of! by Anivair · 2007-05-09 14:26 · Score: 1

You are my new master.

No Skywalkers?!?! by Sponge+Bath · 2007-05-09 11:13 · Score: 1

I guess that just leaves Jar Jar and the Ewoks.

Re:No Skywalkers?!?! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:24 · Score: 0

don't forget Lumpy!
Re:No Skywalkers?!?! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 0

> I guess that just leaves Jar Jar and the Ewoks.
Forbidden Love II: Itsa Also Beesa Trap!
Couldn't have been worse than Forbidden Love: It's a TRAP!.
This is, of course, all just the buildup to *SPOLER ALERT* Darth Binks' dramatic revelation: "JAR JAR, I BEESA YOU DADDY!"
(Not my Photoshop. Found it in this epic thread. Lost the link to Jar Jar's "I beesa you daddy". )

TV not theaters by Dr.+Eggman · 2007-05-09 11:13 · Score: 4, Informative

He said they will be for TV, similar to the Clone Wars series, and about 1 hour long each. He's already said he resigned from making [theater] films and Indy 4 will be his last involvement.

--
Demented But Determined.

Re:TV not theaters by sayfawa · 2007-05-09 11:21 · Score: 0

He said they will be for TV, similar to the Clone Wars series

Or the Christmas Special.

--
Free the Quark 3 from asymptotic confinement! Bring your charm! Don't get down! All colours and flavours welcome!
Re:TV not theaters by Original+Replica · 2007-05-09 11:23 · Score: 4, Insightful

Leaving film and going to TV makes me think Lucas doesn't know his own strengths. He definitely has a gift for grand scale epic imagery, but his interpersonal, small close scene kind of stuff sucks. Or to put it another way: his battle scenes are great, the emotional progress of Anakin into Vadar was crap.

--
We are all just people.
Re:TV not theaters by flanksteak · 2007-05-09 11:32 · Score: 4, Funny

Format is irrelevant. He can target them at IMAX or video cell phones, expectations will be low. Very low.
Re:TV not theaters by aichpvee · 2007-05-09 11:42 · Score: 1

Kind of like a Tom Clancy novel... with light sabers.

This is also why the IMAX cut of Episode 2 needs to be put out on DVD. They cut 15 minutes of Anakin trying to act and Lucas trying to write, and the movie actually became kind of good.

--
The Farewell Tour II
Re:TV not theaters by zippthorne · 2007-05-09 11:45 · Score: 2, Funny

And how do we know that Lucas hasn't been replaced by a sophisticated animatronic to fulfil the will of the com..mit..ee. The only facts we can be certain of is that

A) in light of the ET "guns->walkie talkies" incident and the "Greedo is an exceedingly bad shot" controversy and the "Let's include some comic relief that coincidentally is a derogatory racial reference that we obviously didn't intend" fiasco, his actions have been indistinguishable from those of a committee.

B) His most recent body appears to have enough volume to contain two midgets and a complete animatronic rig

C) there is no footage more recent than ten years showing Lucas standing up and walking on his own.

The conclusion is inescapable: Lucas clearly has been replaced by an elaborate puppet sometime around the filming of the third Indiana Jones movie ("Young Indiana Jones" being the earliest available bit of evidence) and there is currently a power struggle within the committee as to how best to pillage his previous "franchises" before being found out and forced to abandon the ruse.

--
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
Re:TV not theaters by malsdavis · 2007-05-09 11:50 · Score: 1

I couldn't agree more. Cut out all the emotional bullsh!t from the 3 recent movies and they would probably be quite good.

Well, the 2nd and 3rd ones at least, I don't think anything could save the Phantom Menace!
Re:TV not theaters by Carnildo · 2007-05-09 12:03 · Score: 1

The Phantom Edit wasn't too bad.

--
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
Re:TV not theaters by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:13 · Score: 0

It wasn't too good either.
Re: TV not theaters by Black+Parrot · 2007-05-09 12:17 · Score: 1

Indy 4 will be his last involvement Hopefully the plot involves finding and destroying the Hell Gate whence bad sequels are colonizing our universe.

--
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Re:TV not theaters by The_Sledge · 2007-05-09 12:58 · Score: 1

Don't forget 15 minutes of a ridiculous pod race. (FYI, Lucas wanted it even longer than that, y...a...w...nnnn!)
The thing is, cut out all the emotional crap and dreadful dialog, the whole prequel series would probably fit nicely into 120 minutes.

--
HEX offender mugshot ID: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
Re:TV not theaters by obeythefist · 2007-05-09 13:27 · Score: 1

Hi.. ET is a Spielberg film.

But otherwise, his edits for Star Wars have been of mixed quality - the remastering work was some of the best ever done in film-making history. His plot and character changes (ala Greedo) have been abhorrent.

--
I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me. -- G.I.R.
Re:TV not theaters by kimvette · 2007-05-09 14:03 · Score: 1

I would have sworn that The Star Wars Holiday Special was just a bad fever-induced dream I had when I had chicken pox, but lo and behold, it's actually out on DVD. Now you can frighten your children and induce nightmares of Bea Arthur singing, to share the child trauma you experienced as a child! :D

--
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
Re:TV not theaters by zippthorne · 2007-05-09 19:16 · Score: 1

I.. uh.. meant to do that.. yeah.. that's the ticket.

Now, Why can't I edit my post to more correctly reflect my original vision of an error-free posting.

--
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
Re:TV not theaters by Rogerborg · 2007-05-09 20:28 · Score: 1

Can't sleep... Lumpy will eat me... can't sleep... Lumpy will eat me...

--
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Re:TV not theaters by malsdavis · 2007-05-10 01:20 · Score: 1

I can't believe Lucas wanted a longer pod race! That was probably the worst part of the entire film imho. Talk about a lack of suspense, everyone knew from the start he was obviously going to win, so what exactly was the point of even showing it?
Re:TV not theaters by tprime · 2007-05-10 02:26 · Score: 1

He also said that Ep1 didn't suck. Yeah, I believe him, sure. Like another poster said, the clone wars cartoon was good, but Lucas did little more than watch it after the real talent finished making it.

http://www.tomandemily.com/

--
http://www.tomandemily.com
Re:TV not theaters by The_Sledge · 2007-05-10 03:31 · Score: 1

This was a hilarious read when it came out, it's still funny now http://www.the-editing-room.com/?script=phantommen ace
This guy should be the scriptwriter for the new series, then we'd all have no more material to poke fun at.
I think the 4-word movie review that sums all this up...
"Sith hits the fans"

--
HEX offender mugshot ID: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Cool! by __aaclcg7560 · 2007-05-09 11:13 · Score: 5, Funny

"The Return Of Jar-Jar" and "The Children of Jar-Jar" will probably kill Star Wars this time around.

Re:Cool! by veganboyjosh · 2007-05-09 11:16 · Score: 1

Oh come on, how hot would "Bride of Jar-Jar" be?
Re:Cool! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:17 · Score: 0

The Jar-Jar Christmas Special
Re:Cool! by harp2812 · 2007-05-09 11:22 · Score: 1

Oh come on, how hot would "Bride of Jar-Jar" be? Me-sa love you long time, Mii-stah Jedi?

--
I've found that nurturing one's Zen nature is vital to dealing with technology. Violence is pretty damn useful too.
Re:Cool! by owlnation · 2007-05-09 11:29 · Score: 4, Funny

Me-sa love you long time, Mii-stah Jedi?
That tongue is just crying out for a porn movie. Might finally give him credibility.
Re:Cool! by BaldingByMicrosoft · 2007-05-09 11:35 · Score: 1

How about "The Making of The Children of Jar-Jar"... OMG no, wait...
Re:Cool! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:44 · Score: 1, Funny

But even after Star Wars is dead they will make more sequels:

God-Emperor Jar-Jar

Chapterhouse Jar-Jar

Star Wars: House Binks
Re:Cool! by ipb · 2007-05-09 11:56 · Score: 2, Funny

'Jar-Jar the Next Generation' ?
Re:Cool! by sharkey · 2007-05-09 13:06 · Score: 1

I think what she's saying is that you Wookie boys are packin' too much meat.

--

--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Re:Cool! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 02:52 · Score: 0

Wookie Pron! "Rrrrraaawwwrrrrrrrhhhhh"

FILMS FOR TV by BRUTICUS · 2007-05-09 11:13 · Score: 1

would have been better for the title. In this case its old news.

I checked TFA... by glittalogik · 2007-05-09 11:14 · Score: 5, Insightful

...but there was no mention of Lucas laughing maniacally as lightning crashed behind him. It would havce seemed appropriate.

Best Headline Ever!! by rlp · 2007-05-09 11:14 · Score: 5, Funny

On Topic: Best headline ever.

--
[Insert pithy quote here]

Re:Best Headline Ever!! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:55 · Score: 0

In Korea, crossing han solo is only for old people.
Re:Best Headline Ever!! by gardyloo · 2007-05-09 13:06 · Score: 4, Funny

From the article:
Some in the crowd screamed as he splashed loudly into the Han, followed about a second later by his pole. If ever there was a place for a disturbance in the Force, that's it.
Re:Best Headline Ever!! by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 14:40 · Score: 1, Funny

Some in the crowd screamed as he splashed loudly into the Han, followed about a second later by his pole.

Yeah, but in the televised replay, the pole fell in first.
Re:Best Headline Ever!! by _Sprocket_ · 2007-05-09 14:41 · Score: 1

In the re-release of the news footage, the pole splashes in first. I think it loses something - I prefer the origional.
Re:Best Headline Ever!! by DohnJoe · 2007-05-09 22:28 · Score: 1

how about this one then, from the same article ;)
"It feels very good. It feels all right. It was very tight," he said ah, selective quoting, it's so much fun...

hmm by pak9rabid · 2007-05-09 11:15 · Score: 1

If it's like the clone wars series was, it shouldn't be too terrible....i hope.

Re:Hmm by Doctor+Faustus · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 1

It took me a minute, but I think that was the bad picture that appeared in the article.
Re:Hmm by alphaseven · 2007-05-09 12:17 · Score: 1

That distrubing picture shown is the one where she looked anorexic (and it was probably just bad makeup and lighting). Linked below are the photos from the Time magazine party where she looked "gorgeous". They ran the wrong picture with the story.
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2007/05/09/cate-blanc hett-skinny/

A bold new direction from Lucas by l0ungeb0y · 2007-05-09 11:15 · Score: 2, Insightful

He's gone from mere milking the franchise to raping it. There's little doubt now (in my mind at least) that he has no new ideas, can't be bothered to push himself to come up with something new, so he's gonna fuck his legacy in the ass till it's seen as nothing more than some cheap little whore.

And there's nothing anyone can do to stop it, because it wont matter how bad it sucks (and it WILL suck), it will make mountains of money.

Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by geekoid · 2007-05-09 11:17 · Score: 1

I thought the Clone wars animated series was really good.

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by ArsonSmith · 2007-05-09 11:26 · Score: 5, Interesting

luckily Lucas did little more than sign off on The Clone Wars cartoon of which was really good. I'm not a rabid Lucas molested my inner child type, but I do see that EpI was horrible, EpII was slightly less horrible, EpIII improved upon that to be merely bad. He is improving, and I did really enjoy 2 & 3 despite the warts.

--
Paying taxes to buy civilization is like paying a hooker to buy love.
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by MobileTatsu-NJG · 2007-05-09 11:29 · Score: 1

"I thought the Clone wars animated series was really good."

True, but look at the 3 recent movies Lucas had a lot more involvement with.

--

"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by geekoid · 2007-05-09 11:37 · Score: 4, Interesting

I am still optimistic...of course I am also George Lucas's bitch.

The one thing it has going with it is no attachment to previous films.

If epI/II/III* were the first in the filming series they would be considered kick ass, but week on story.

A new character in the universe might be less restraining..OTOH we may have another Wookie Christmas on our hands.

*hey look perl code! ;)

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by gd2shoe · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 0, Offtopic

I thought the Clone wars animated series was really good.
Having not seen the animated series, I wasn't sure whether to mod your comment "informative" or "funny".
Instead of making the grueling determination, I replied instead. Problem solved.

--
I won't join Slashcott. OTOH, If Beta goes live, I just won't be back until it's fixed. Sorry Dice.
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by Original+Replica · 2007-05-09 12:03 · Score: 5, Funny

of course I am also George Lucas's bitch.

If you were a whiney bitch, you could be a lead character.

--
We are all just people.
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by timmarhy · 2007-05-09 12:21 · Score: 1

no it was good, it had 10x the character of the movies.

--
If you mod me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine....
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:31 · Score: 0

Parent post (much like this one) is pointless. I'd mod it so, but alas, no points.
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by bigstrat2003 · 2007-05-09 12:33 · Score: 1

I disagree that they'd be considered weak on story. I found the story of a fall from good to evil genuinely interesting. By contrast, I think the original trilogy has a terrible plot (hence, I laughed out loud when Lucas said Spider-Man 3 doesn't have much story, cause I think there are Vin Diesel movies with more plot than Lucas' original trilogy). Obviously, many disagree with me, so I'm not sure why I'm even putting my opinion out to be flamed by the masses, but it is my honest opinion that the plot of the prequels is vastly superior to the plot of the originals. What the originals had, imo, was a nice sense of style. Lucas managed to capture the look and feel of the universe very nicely with very limited tools, and I respect him for that. As much as I like the prequels, the cantina in Mos Eisley feels a lot shadier than its equivalent on Coruscant, shown in episode 2 (just an example)... clearly technology isn't everything.

--
"16MB (fuck off, MiB fascists)" - The Mighty Buzzard
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by MobileTatsu-NJG · 2007-05-09 13:20 · Score: 1

"The one thing it has going with it is no attachment to previous films."

Attachment to previous films wasn't the downfall of the prequels. We didn't get a rehashing here, we got a lifeless entity.

--

"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by bill_mcgonigle · 2007-05-09 18:05 · Score: 1

I thought the Clone wars animated series was really good.

If the live action films had been done by the Clone Wars crew, we wouldn't be here bitching about it. But Lucas's young children didn't get to make Clone Wars, therefore the Jedi didn't usually forget about most of their powers.

--
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
Re:A bold new direction from Lucas by turing_m · 2007-05-09 21:11 · Score: 1

I wonder why he's gone in the direction he has. It's not as if he needs the money. Perhaps he's going senile, or maybe he is naturally prone to employing sycophants. By the time of Return of the Jedi, everyone (male) under 30 probably thought Lucas could do no wrong, so it was probably only natural for him to think that anyone with an independent viewpoint was just jealous.

Some people adapt to fame well. Bohr would often seek the opinion of Feynman simply because Feynman wasn't intimidated and would say what he thought whether it independent of Bohr. I wonder how Harrison Ford would have went with suggesting a deviation from the script like "I know" to Leia's "I love you" later on in Lucas' career.

I find it hard to believe that with the quality of the recent dialogue, the actors in the last 3 films weren't jumping over themselves with suggestions. I bet Lucas just didn't listen.

--
If I have seen further it is by stealing the Intellectual Property of giants.

Found this particularly funny... by Raistlin77 · 2007-05-09 11:16 · Score: 0, Offtopic

From the article on foxnews.com... Before I tell you what George Lucas said at the all-star Time magazine dinner for the 100 most influential people, let's cut to the chase: Cate Blanchett arrived and looked gorgeous. She looked completely unlike the picture that ran everywhere Tuesday that depicted her as an anorexic skeleton.

Gee, the picture shown there looks like an anorexic skeleton in a skin suit.

Re:Found this particularly funny... by HTH+NE1 · 2007-05-09 11:32 · Score: 1

Cate Blanchett arrived and looked gorgeous. She looked completely unlike the picture that ran everywhere Tuesday that depicted her as an anorexic skeleton. Lighting is everything, so are makeup, clothes and the angle from which a picture is taken.
Indeed, a sheet of paper can look very substantial as long as you don't take a picture of it from the side. (I count four things there that are each in and of themselves "everything" according to that hack.)

I was hoping someone else would have posted this article with a better link before it made it to the front page. I too could have done without the opening celebrity gossip and poorly formatted text (paragraphs not indented and no inter-paragraph spacing--gotta have one or the other at least).

--
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?

I feel a disturbance in the force... by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:17 · Score: 5, Funny

as if millions of Star Wars fans cried out in horror and fainted.

Re:I feel a disturbance in the force... by ScrewMaster · 2007-05-09 11:40 · Score: 1

I'd say more as if "millions of ex-Star Wars fans yawned and went back to watching Stargate."

--
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Re:I feel a disturbance in the force... by Mike+Van+Pelt · 2007-05-09 22:39 · Score: 1

Dang... You beat me to it. (I'm sure glad I searched for "disturbance in the force" before I posted mine.)

Star Wars a la Dark Forces? by lazyeye · 2007-05-09 11:19 · Score: 1

I would love to see something along the lines of the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight series. I loved the storyline in those games. I'm just hoping it wouldn't end up being another Tomb Raider. :-/

The Mandalorian Armor by malsdavis · 2007-05-09 11:20 · Score: 2, Interesting

I'm hoping it's an adaptation of "The Mandalorian Armor". I was always told this was be the natural next progression after Return of the Jedi.

Re:The Mandalorian Armor by BaldingByMicrosoft · 2007-05-09 11:40 · Score: 4, Funny

Maybe close. But it'll probably come out more like "The Mandalorian Armior", featuring the life and times of force-sensitive furniture. Beware the Sith folding chair...

Help me here... by iknownuttin · 2007-05-09 11:20 · Score: 2, Informative

FTF: Gathered at Jazz at Lincoln Center for this spectacular annual event were: "Star Wars" director Lucas with his lady-friend Melody Hobson; presidential hopeful John Edwards with his wife Elizabeth; Queen Raina of Jordan,

and...

But of course, we were most interested in talking with George Lucas, the affable genius film director who occasionally graces us in New York with an appearance. Lucas is absolutely one of my favorite people, a lovely guy who seems unaffected by his enormous success. Lucas is currently preparing "Indiana Jones 4" with Harrison Ford, Blanchett and Shia LaBoeuf. The latter plays Ford's son, which means his mother was possibly the character Karen Allen played in "Raiders of the Lost Ark." "I can't say," Lucas said when I brought up Allen. Lucas says that Sean Connery still hasn't signed on, but his character, Indy's dad, is in the script. Other than that, his lips are sealed. "Steven thinks we can keep the whole thing a secret," Lucas told me. "I explained to him that it's impossible nowadays. We can't live like that." So then, tell me more about "Indy 4," I suggested. "Oh no," replied Lucas with a smile. Lucas told me he has seen all the summer movies since his company, Industrial Light and Magic, does most of the special effects. The only one they didn't work on was "Spider-Man 3." What did he think of it? "It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?" Well, it's not "Star Wars." "People thought 'Star Wars' was silly, too," he added, with a wink. "But it wasn't." Lucas, by the way, says he is readying "Clone Wars," an animated series for TV that's derived from "Star Wars." Many "Star Wars" characters appear in "Clone Wars," but voiced by other actors. And here's a little news: Lucas tells me he will make two more live-action films based in the "Star Wars" era. "But they won't have members of the Skywalker family as characters," he said. "They will be other people of that milieu." The two extra films will also be made for TV and probably be an hour long each. But, like "Clone Wars," Lucas doesn't know where on TV they will land. Hello, HBO and Showtime. It may be time to pony up.

Help me out here...How's this a story?

This is just PR GARBAGE!

--
I prefer Flambe as apposed flamebait.

Re:Help me here... by geekoid · 2007-05-09 11:23 · Score: 1

It is a typical celeb piece.

Not PR. There is a difference.

If you have never been involved in 'the industry'(be 'the industry' I mean 'The business':) then it makes little sense. Seems like a list of names.

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Re:Help me here... by gearfab · 2007-05-09 12:44 · Score: 1

Criticizing Spiderman3 for having "not much story" sounds pretty funny coming from a guy who thinks Hayden Christensen has the gravitas to play a young Darth Vader, and whose single greatest contribution to modern film thought - in the twenty years between Jedi and Episode 1 at least - was overestimating fanboys' desire to snuggle up to a jive-talking Sesame Street reject. And of course, writing the prequels himself in stilted, Shakespeare-lite prattle.

What Lucas meant to say, though he never will say, is that writers don't matter. Or he's still under the illusion that he is himself a talented screenwriter. Either way, I weep for what should have been a defining movie moment for the current generation of young folks. Let's face it: the prequels (as a literary object, at least) were a total failure.
Re:Help me here... by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 13:18 · Score: 0

but voiced by other actors Anybody else read this as voiced by otter actors? I thought Lucas was really off his rocker.
Re:Help me here... by MightyMartian · 2007-05-09 15:29 · Score: 1

And yet, Lucas is making a shitload of money off the franchise. What would be nice is if, whatever the future of the franchise, Lucas just becomes the banker, is given some sort of "Executive Producer" credit and is forceably kept away from script-writing sessions, casting, filming and editing.

--
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.

Starwars era? by MikeRT · 2007-05-09 11:20 · Score: 4, Insightful

You mean like when he produced good movies and chose actors properly?

Re:Starwars era? by Darundal · 2007-05-09 12:24 · Score: 1

I mean when he picked good actors (which he DID DO with all of the star wars movies, just look at ANYTHING ELSE they have been in) and didn't direct his movies in such a way that all the characters deliver all the lines with the passion and infliction of a soggy cardboard box. Regarding the new "movies" he is making, the only line I can come up with is "DO NOT WANT!!!!!!"

Re:Lucas by __aaclcg7560 · 2007-05-09 11:23 · Score: 1

Uh, no. Not unless he tries to package the two trilogies, Clone Wars, and the two new movies with a Carbonite-frozen Jar-Jar figurine as the ultimate DVD box set at full price. Then he'll be a rich whore.

what is that whoosing sound? by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:26 · Score: 3, Insightful

It is the sound of a dead horse being well and truely flogged.

Re:what is that whoosing sound? by MrManny · 2007-05-09 12:43 · Score: 2, Funny

I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of Jar Jar Binks suddenly cried out in terror, and were never silenced.
Re:what is that whoosing sound? by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 13:01 · Score: 0

Beating a dead horse = sadism + necrophilia + zoophilia.

BFD. by Lou-ice · 2007-05-09 11:27 · Score: 0, Redundant

Wow. Great.

Hmm by Reality+Master+101 · 2007-05-09 11:27 · Score: 1

Before I tell you what George Lucas said at the all-star Time magazine dinner for the 100 most influential people, let's cut to the chase: Cate Blanchett arrived and looked gorgeous. She looked completely unlike the picture that ran everywhere Tuesday that depicted her as an anorexic skeleton.

To paraphrase The Princess Bride, I don't think 'gorgeous' and 'anorexic' mean what you think they mean.

-shudder- That is one seriously disturbing picture.

--
Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.

Just one word: by mobby_6kl · 2007-05-09 11:28 · Score: 4, Funny

Do not want.

Well, it was supposed to be one word.

Re:Just one word: by glebd · 2007-05-09 12:09 · Score: 1

Stop he must.
Re:Just one word: by Rocketship+Underpant · 2007-05-09 13:43 · Score: 1

Well, in Japanese it's one word, so I guess you're vindicated. :)

--
He who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.
Re:Just one word: by TheRealAnonymousCowa · 2007-05-09 16:52 · Score: 1

Noooooooooooooo!!!!!
Re:Just one word: by Prune · 2007-05-10 04:01 · Score: 1

What's with the 4chan speak anyway...

--
"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."

Poll Topic! by raehl · 2007-05-09 11:29 · Score: 1

Next two Star Wars films:

Valentine's Day Special
St. Patrick's Day Special
Easter Special
Memorial Day Special
Independence Day Special
Labor Day Special
Halloween Special
Thanksgiving Special

--
paintball

Re: Poll Topic! by Black+Parrot · 2007-05-09 12:14 · Score: 1

Don't forget the "George Needs a New Yacht Special".

--
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade

I admit being cautiously optimistic....until... by Karl+Cocknozzle · 2007-05-09 11:31 · Score: 1

The two extra films will also be made for TV and probably be an hour long each.

...and then you lost me.

--
Who did what now?

Many words: by geekoid · 2007-05-09 11:32 · Score: 0, Flamebait

Then don't see.
Considering clone wars was pretty good, this could be interesting.

--
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

Penny Arcade by Gamefreak99 · 2007-05-09 11:34 · Score: 5, Funny

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040922l. jpg

Re:Penny Arcade by Forseti · 2007-05-10 01:40 · Score: 1

Even more likely

--
Delay is preferable to error. (Thomas Jefferson)

"Rape" by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:35 · Score: 1, Insightful

Would people please stop using the term "rape" in totally inappropriate and inapplicable situations?

Re:"Rape" by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:55 · Score: 0

> Would people please stop using the term "rape" in totally inappropriate and inapplicable situations?

You have a purdy mouth!
Re:"Rape" by maxwell+demon · 2007-05-09 12:04 · Score: 1

Would people please stop using the term "rape" in totally inappropriate and inapplicable situations?

You mean, because it's raping the language? :-)

--
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.

Why? by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:35 · Score: 0

He's already ruined his 'franchise', this is just going to be adding insult to injury for the fans. Now he's got the cash, why doesn't he make something grown up along the lines of THX1138?

I'd re-watch THX over the Star Wars prequels any day and so would anybody else with a mental age above 5.

EWOKS! by Jabbrwokk · 2007-05-09 11:35 · Score: 2, Informative

It's 1984 and 1985 all over again!

Give it a chance (on a condition) by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 0

This could actually be fun and even cool... provide Mr. Lucas directs and steps back away from the script... slowly. I'm a complete nerd so maybe let R.A. Salvatore have a go at it. Something that followed the adventures of one of the other Jedi's (Mace?) or even followed the Sith in the time of their power could actually be quite cool (that's where I think R.A.S. would do well... the DnD genre meshes nicely with the "dark side of the force"). It just has to be well written and that implies Lucas setting down his pen and goofing around with his toys... and thus bringing balance to the Force :)

Solo and Chewbacca by camperdave · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 1

I have always thought that Pat Mastroianni would make a good Han Solo (since Harrison Ford is getting a little on the old side). A few rollicking Solo and Chewbacca adventures (and I mean adventures, not soap operas) geared more for the grown up crowd might just hit the spot. George just needs to get a competent author to put together the right script and he could conceivably get the Star Wars train wreck back on the tracks.

--
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!

Re:Solo and Chewbacca by marcelwhite74 · 2007-05-09 13:16 · Score: 1

Joey Solo, I can see it now... "princess leigh, all they way!!!" I hope someone got that reference :S
Re:Solo and Chewbacca by john83 · 2007-05-09 22:03 · Score: 1

I have always thought that Pat Mastroianni would make a good Han Solo (since Harrison Ford is getting a little on the old side). A few rollicking Solo and Chewbacca adventures (and I mean adventures, not soap operas) geared more for the grown up crowd might just hit the spot. George just needs to get a competent author to put together the right script and he could conceivably get the Star Wars train wreck back on the tracks. I think Nathan Fillion would be awesome in the role. I don't see Lucas doing anything as clever as getting in a competent author though.

--
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Re:Solo and Chewbacca by Forseti · 2007-05-10 01:44 · Score: 1

Have you seen him lately? Somehow I don't think a bald Han Solo would fly...

--
Delay is preferable to error. (Thomas Jefferson)
Re:Solo and Chewbacca by camperdave · 2007-05-10 08:45 · Score: 1

Do you think Christopher Lee, who played Saruman, actually had long straight white hair and matching beard? Besides, even bald, Han Solo could fly rings around even the hottest TIE fighter pilot.

--
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!

Why? by MeanderingMind · 2007-05-09 11:38 · Score: 1

George Lucas: You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to make TV movies.
Fans: We're surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
George Lucas: My fandom, before you're penniless, you will join me in television mediocrity that will make this universal desecration (and my wallet) complete. No Star Wars fan will dare oppose my Canon now.
Fans: The more you tighten your grip, George, the more fan boys will slip through your fingers.

--
Thunderclone: ONE MAN ENTERS! TWO MEN LEAVE! ONE MAN ENTERS! TWO MEN LEAVE!

No one from the Skywalker family... by wtfbbq · 2007-05-09 11:41 · Score: 1

but have no fear, there still holds the possibility that Jar-Jar Binks with appear again. There is still hope, don't give up on the idea!!

Sarcasm aside, provided Lucas has no hand what-so-ever in the project it might work.

Fair enough. by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:43 · Score: 1, Funny

But we cannot let George Lucas continue to perpetrate his genocide against childhood memories!

Oblig... by ebbomega · 2007-05-09 11:43 · Score: 1

That's the worst fucking idea I've heard since I was a padawan!

--
Karma: Non-Heinous

Think again by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:45 · Score: 0

Han Solo died when Greedo shot first.

Umm...they are made for TV movies..not films... by SWG_Eddie · 2007-05-09 11:46 · Score: 1

Someone misinterpreted the story, its not a film per se, but rather made-for-TV and this is old news.

other people of that milieu by mythar · 2007-05-09 11:49 · Score: 1

*COUGH*youngjarjar

Re:other people of that milieu by Opportunist · 2007-05-09 21:16 · Score: 1

Dont. Even. Joke. About. That!

--
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.

Oh dear... by hkmarks · 2007-05-09 11:52 · Score: 2, Insightful

George. Sweetie. You've worked hard, and you've earned a rest. It's alright. You can take a break. Let someone else write the script. We know you don't like actors, and that's alright too. Give some director the job of dealing with them.

We won't think any less of you.

Re:Oh dear... by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 11:58 · Score: 0

> We won't think any less of you.

Is it possible to think any less of him than we do already?

I can forgive Howard the duck but that's the line and he stepped way over it.

Skywalkers irrelevent by Repton · 2007-05-09 11:55 · Score: 5, Insightful

Everyone knows that R2D2 is the true hero of Star Wars..

--
Repton.
They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.

Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by josteos · 2007-05-09 12:15 · Score: 1

Kind of like an intergalactic Bela.

--
Save the Music; Save the World at http://www.TuneTriever.com (Our latest Android game)
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by sharkey · 2007-05-09 13:11 · Score: 1

And he knows how to party!

--

--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 16:29 · Score: 0

Indeed you are correct.... Read this:

http://www.morningstar.nildram.co.uk/A_New_Sith.ht ml
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by mkiwi · 2007-05-09 17:34 · Score: 1

R2D2 is the only "character" that apears in all six starwars movies (C3PO doesn't count in episode one, he was under construction)
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by mkiwi · 2007-05-09 17:36 · Score: 1

I forgot Obi-wan. Sorry, he was also in all six films (but portrayed by different actors)
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by Starburnt · 2007-05-09 17:54 · Score: 0

What about Vader/Anakin?
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 18:15 · Score: 0

You do know that that's probably cause he cusses all the time and gets away with it.

(no seriously, it makes so much more sense when you realize that he has a vulgar speaker, esp. C3PO's reactions)
Re:Skywalkers irrelevent by Gabrill · 2007-05-09 23:15 · Score: 1

R2's actor was replaced with computers as well.

--
Always going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

Blanchett + dark hair = Gozer by gameguy1957 · 2007-05-09 11:59 · Score: 1

If her hair were a darker color in that picture she'd look like Gozer from the Ghostbuster's movie.

You lack vision by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:04 · Score: 0

How about a porn film set on Naboo?

A horror movie staring only Jawas and the cantina band? (sp? "oohtiney")

The story of Yoda and his first sexual experiences with a Banther?

Hopeful! by josteos · 2007-05-09 12:04 · Score: 4, Funny

Wouldn't this make it better?

"George Lucas says that he will make two more live-action films based in the "Star Wars" era. "But they won't have members of the Lucas family as writers, directors, or producers," he said."

--
Save the Music; Save the World at http://www.TuneTriever.com (Our latest Android game)

Damn shame... by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:05 · Score: 0

I always kind of figured (or perhaps "hoped" would be a better way to describe it) Lucas was waiting for Mark Hamill to get old enough get away with doing three films set approximately 30-50 years after Return of the Jedi - whatever governmental structures replaced the Empire being threatened by dark forces from within and without, Luke's kids turning from whiney little teenage brats to middle-aged heroes and villains across the three... then he pulls this crap. An hour to introduce and develop interesting characters and interesting story lines? That's hardly enough for a pilot for a TV series, but I suppose he's got enough familiarity with that universe in the public consciousness to think he can get away with jumping straight in with little exposition and development.

It's time for him to hand control over to the producers and writers of Days of our Lives - they'd probably do a far better job.

How about the story of the contractors ... by soupinpa · 2007-05-09 12:07 · Score: 5, Funny

who worked on the death star. Tell us the story of how those contracts came in, and follow these contractors through to the destruction of the second death star. Perhaps Randall will stop ranting about how they were innocent bystanders in this conflict.

I fear something terrible has happened by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:07 · Score: 0

as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and refused to be silenced.

Asbestos underwear on by ObiWanStevobi · 2007-05-09 12:07 · Score: 3, Insightful

A big middle finger in the air to all those Lucas haters out there.

There are alot of stories in the Star Wars universe that can be done and done well. The KOTOR games created some really good stories. There are lots of possibilities with the old republic, Mandalorian wars, Sith Lore, etc. that would make great stories.

Lucas wrote and directed some of the best movies ever made. Only in comparison to the Original trilogy can the new Star Wars movies be considered somehow weak. Lucas still makes great movies.

For those out there griping and complaining, all I can say is save your money and go watch Delta Farce 2, or whatever else it is you are going to be watching that is so darn great.

Re:Asbestos underwear on by GaryPatterson · 2007-05-09 14:31 · Score: 4, Interesting

Visually, all of the Star Wars movies are great. The writing in episodes 4, 5 and 6 was pretty good too. While the visuals have only gone from strength to strength and the overal plot of the rise of Palpatine is impressive, the writing has plummeted in quality.

Anyone who expects Natalie Portman to deliver the line "Hold me like you did on Naboo" without the entire audience laughing at the absurdity of it, or gives Ewan Macgregor the immortal line "He killed the younglings!" has to face facts: writing is not their forte. Lucas should let better authors write and stick to directing.

I've seen them all in the cinemas, played some games, enjoy the backstory and own the DVDs, but I try to skip the dialogue as much as possible in the new films. It's Lucas' Achilles Heel.
Re:Asbestos underwear on by gosand · 2007-05-10 02:17 · Score: 1

A big middle finger in the air to all those Lucas haters out there.

There are alot of stories in the Star Wars universe that can be done and done well.

But not by Lucas. His true vision is Ep1-3, he said so himself. He said in an interview that the original movies (at least 4 and 5) were not what he wanted, they weren't his true vision. They were by FAR the best movies. When he started to gain control, we got ROTJ, which was kind of accepted as the weak part of the trilogy. Now we can see it fits more in line with the other heaps of crap.

Bottom line is, he is a bad film-maker. By my count, he gets 2.5/5.0, the half being for ROTJ. He only has a possible 5 with me because I haven't seen Ep3. And won't. Why should I, just because he made it? Ep1 was a huge letdown, and I just rented and ffwded through most of Ep2.

Stop being a sheep and consuming it just because it has the Star Wars name on it.

--

My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.

Finally, a reason for stronger copyright laws by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · 2007-05-09 12:09 · Score: 1

How about copyright laws that recognize that their purpose is to allow artists to profit from their work for a period of time. However, the works are for the benefit of humanity. So no, even if you originally made it, you cannot alter works you've published and become part of the culture. No raping the first three movies Lucas.

Of course, creating derivative works is something that Lucas has a right to do (whether other people should or not is a different question).

--
Your ad here. Ask me how!

My demands will be met! by moheezy · 2007-05-09 12:09 · Score: 0

I demand something involving Kyle Katarn.

Or maybe something in the old republic era...

Gungan Babies by Telepathetic+Man · 2007-05-09 12:12 · Score: 2, Funny

Kinda like the muppet babies, only more Rastafarian influence.

--
Just because you can, does not mean you should.

Re:Gungan Babies by Benosaurus · 2007-05-09 17:12 · Score: 1

Kinda like the muppet babies, only more Rastafarian influence.

Don't you mean Pastafarian?

can be done and done well by nurb432 · 2007-05-09 12:12 · Score: 1

Sure of course there is potential, but Lucas wont do it. Hes proven his time has come and gone and needs to turn over control to a new generation.

--
---- Booth was a patriot ----

Re:can be done and done well by rlp · 2007-05-09 13:55 · Score: 1

Lucas could produce and get someone else to direct (no, NOT Spielberg). For instance:

"Palpatine Fiction" directed by Quentin Tarantino

--
[Insert pithy quote here]

Stiffy McStifferson by WwWonka · 2007-05-09 12:15 · Score: 0

...two live actions films.

Thank god for the decision to go live action. I don't think I could have handled one more stiff performance by the CGI created Natalie Portman character.

Oh you mean... by OakLEE · 2007-05-09 12:22 · Score: 1

Great non-Skywalker family films like this one. Or maybe this masterpiece.

OMG Lucas, you just like to jab that knife in and keep on twisting, don't you? What do we have to look forward to now, a story about the Gungans? I might actually see that... if they use the Death Star to blow Naboo up in the first five minutes of the film. Or better yet, how about a story about Wookies? We could expand upon the great festive celebration that is Life Day! Oh how I would love to see Itchy, Mala, and Lumpy (yes, Lumpy!) again.

Seriously George, just save us the trouble and sell us a rusty spoon for $10. It'll be much more fun jabbing that in our eyes then watching whatever monstrosity these films turn out to be. Isn't $3.1 billion enough?

--
The sun beams down on a brand new day, No more welfare tax to pay, Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light...

Re:Oh you mean... by Darundal · 2007-05-09 12:29 · Score: 1

Well, for him, the chance to make it $3.10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000001 billion and expose us to MORE Wookies masturbating is apparently just too tempting...
Re:Oh you mean... by k3vlar · 2007-05-09 13:32 · Score: 1

Man. If Lucas will make two feature-length Star Wars movies for 1.0 × 10^-59 cents, imagine the epic (though admittedly sucky) 10-film saga he'll make for a dollar!

--
Unlike porn, which yada yada rimshot hey-ooh!

C3PO by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:23 · Score: 0

We're Doomed

Missing Option by Chr0me · 2007-05-09 12:24 · Score: 1

CowboyNeal Day Special.

But! by NoMaster · 2007-05-09 12:37 · Score: 1

But ... that leaves no room for the "Jar Jar Christmas Special"!

--
What part of "a well regulated militia" do you not understand?

Haiku by Plutonite · 2007-05-09 12:39 · Score: 1

Lucas returns; so successful
was the abomination of theater, that
T.V too must suffer

too bad Lucas didn't listen to Kenny Rogers by SethJohnson · 2007-05-09 12:39 · Score: 1

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the deathstar's done.

--
$5 / month hosted VPS on linux = awesome!

Sorry... by PCM2 · 2007-05-09 12:40 · Score: 1

...that won't happen until "God Emperor Jar-Jar."

--
Breakfast served all day!

New Newsgroup? by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 12:40 · Score: 0

alt.diejarjarbinksdiediedie?

Han Solo has to shoot first by The_Herminator · 2007-05-09 12:43 · Score: 1

If Han Solo doesn't shoot first, then forget it...

Knights of the Old Republic. by odinsgrudge · 2007-05-09 12:44 · Score: 2, Interesting

He could base it off of the the "Knights of The Old Republic" series. Perhaps if he doesn't write the stories for them, they may actually be decent.

Re:Knights of the Old Republic. by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 13:36 · Score: 0

Yup KotOR would make a killer movie or two if someone else did the writing. And heck, the basics are already in place from the game.
Re:Knights of the Old Republic. by Keeper+Of+Keys · 2007-05-10 04:45 · Score: 1

That's a little harsh. He's a good storyteller but a godawful scriptwriter. He should rough out the storyline, then get Joss Whedon to write the script.

Somebody had to say it by DanielMarkham · 2007-05-09 12:46 · Score: 1

I feel a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of nerds cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced by George Lucas.

You can't get my dollars, Lucas, if you make more schlock from that Star Wars machine I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

That's no moon, that's no space station, that's a self-aggregating collection of all the Star Wars merchandise. Great Scott, man, it's enough to destroy an entire planet!

Who are you kidding? by Bogtha · 2007-05-09 12:46 · Score: 1

"But they won't have members of the Skywalker family as characters," he said.

At least that's what you'll think until the twist at the end!

--
Bogtha Bogtha Bogtha

I discounted that bastard while parsing the header by thegnu · 2007-05-09 12:49 · Score: 2, Insightful

I kind of got discouraged by being having to hear about--stop the presses--how gorgeous Cate Blanchett was. Especially when there was a photo. I mean, I can judge the ladies for myself, thank you.

--
Please stop stalking me, bro.

Not Skywalker by DeeVeeAnt · 2007-05-09 12:55 · Score: 1

No, this one is going to feature a new young hero, who suddenly discovers he is not just a farm boy after all. Introducing ... Lame Sharkjumper

--
Home fucking is killing prostitution.

Nothing New... by Stormy+Dragon · 2007-05-09 12:55 · Score: 2, Insightful

Considering how wooden the acting was, I'm not sure the last three Star Wars films had members of the Skywalker family as 'characters'.

Re:Nothing New... by Xtifr · 2007-05-10 02:32 · Score: 1

Oh come on. The acting was pretty much as good as the script would allow. When it comes to character development and dialog, I think Lucas can give Jim Theis a run for his money. ("By the surly beard of Mrifk!") To call the dialog wooden is to insult writers of wooden dialog everywhere. I think the actors deserve an award simply for their ability to deliver those lines with a straight face. I'm not sure I could, no matter how many takes I was given. :)

Re:I discounted that bastard while parsing the hea by geekd · 2007-05-09 13:03 · Score: 1

Especially because she looked like a gaunt ghoul. Really, she was scary looking.

Re:I discounted that bastard while parsing the hea by miskatonic+alumnus · 2007-05-09 13:10 · Score: 4, Funny

She's going play Empress Palpatine.

You what? by hack++slash · 2007-05-09 13:13 · Score: 2, Funny

Damn, yet more SW cash-ins, and here I was hoping for Howard The Duck 2...

--
To do something right, you often have to roll up your sleeves and get busy.

And that's the point...all he did was OK it. by MsGeek · 2007-05-09 13:15 · Score: 2, Informative

The "Clone Wars" shorts gave me back my love of Star Wars. Unfortunately Genndy Tartakovsky is not involved in the upcoming CGI series but from what I understand the people at the helm of that (no, not Lucas, Lucas is just bankrolling it) are similarly SW fans with a major love of animation as a form of cinema.

If these movies have a prayer of being good, he should pay Lawrence Kasdan silly money to write the screenplay, point him in the direction he wants him to write, and stand back and let him do it. Or maybe Paul Dini, with similar lack of interference from Lucas.

From what I understand, these movies will be set between Episode III and the original Star Wars. (I refuse to call it Episode IV...that was the first damn movie, dammit.) And they will have lots of action. Like the animated shorts. Just keep Lucas away from the script. And for crissake keep him away from writing dialogue. Please.

--
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power multiplied.

He's still going to be short by one. by argent · 2007-05-09 13:29 · Score: 4, Funny

He needs to make *three* more, to complete the nine episodes he originally promised.

"Well, is this the end of the flick?! Hey! Is it a "wrap"?"

"Not quite, Luke. I have six more "Star Wars" chapters to go. We should get to them all by... oh, 1998."

"1998, Mr. Lucas?"

"Yes... yes, I think so..."

Fx: *FOOSH* (lightsaber whacking Lucas' head off)

"Jedi knights don't wait 15 years for a sequel."

Optimist.

Re:He's still going to be short by one. by julesh · 2007-05-09 22:53 · Score: 1

He needs to make *three* more, to complete the nine episodes he originally promised.

The problem with that is that the scriptwriters he got in to do episodes 5 & 6 for him realised he couldn't plot a series to save his life, and rolled the contents of the following 5 episodes down to just 2, in order to save them from being embarrasingly bad.

Something doesn't jive... by jcuervo · 2007-05-09 13:29 · Score: 2, Insightful

Lucas, by the way, says he is readying "Clone Wars," an animated series for TV that's derived from "Star Wars." Many "Star Wars" characters appear in "Clone Wars," but voiced by other actors. Okay, so, Spiderman 3 is out, but he's "readying" Clone Wars? Is there a new version of the toon coming out, or what?

--
Assume I was drunk when I posted this.

Re:Something doesn't jive... by Jesus_666 · 2007-05-09 21:18 · Score: 1

Maybe he's remastering Clone Wars with all-new special effects and writing defects.

--
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
Re:Something doesn't jive... by jcuervo · 2007-05-10 09:25 · Score: 1

Guh. And he'll replace all the lightsabers with walkie-talkies.

(Yes, I know it was Spielberg.)

--
Assume I was drunk when I posted this.

Dark Foricecs. by antdude · 2007-05-09 13:30 · Score: 1

Dark Forces game had a level on stealing the Death Star plans. Isn't that enough? :P

--
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).

YAY More Bad Writing.... by spockrock · 2007-05-09 13:34 · Score: 1

lets hope george isn't writing the scripts, but some how I do not see that happening.

Don't RTFA by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 13:36 · Score: 0

I am stupider for having read it. Fox News suxors, and Fox News gossip column is a black hole of life. Oddly enough, my captcha is "idiotic", which is precisely the tone of TFA.

Let me be the first to suggest by muellerr1 · 2007-05-09 13:39 · Score: 2, Funny

'A Gungan Christmas'

--
steampunk web design

I thought it would never happen! by Monsterdog · 2007-05-09 13:41 · Score: 1

Luckily George Lucas has proven me wrong, as he's apparently come up with a whole brand new line of action figures and other merchandise to bolster flagging Star Wars merchandise sales. Where would the universe be without the genius of George Lucas? Plus we get two brand new two-hour commercials as well! I'm so happy I could fuck an Ewok. Two!

Can someone say... by k3vlar · 2007-05-09 13:42 · Score: 1

Can someone say "Tormented, Science Fiction Youth"?

--
Unlike porn, which yada yada rimshot hey-ooh!

Will I Be Going To See Them With You? by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 13:57 · Score: 0

No - My destiny lies along a different path.

Might totally suck, might not by PostPhil · 2007-05-09 14:01 · Score: 1

I guess it depends on what the story is about, how well it's cast, and if character development actually exists at all, unlike the prequels. The original trilogy was great because of how much it really felt like you were part of a world never seen before, but more so that the characters were memorable. Han and Leia had chemistry. Anakin and Padme, not so much. Etc.

But at the same time, this is a good opportunity to show some of the back story that didn't get shown in the movies. I'd be interested in Mara Jade's story, or prior to Darth Bane when there was more than two Sith at a time, or the bounty hunters, etc. (But none of that Jedi twin crap...). Honestly, before Episode 1 came out, I was hoping they would have slews of Sith and Jedi fighting, so it was kind of a bummer when all we got was like 5 minutes of Darth Maul before he got his ass kicked.

Jedi battles on speed by LoudMusic · 2007-05-09 14:01 · Score: 2, Interesting

I'd like to see masses of Jedi and Sith battling over territory and the minds of the weak. It could actually be good. Jedi and Sith from all the familiar species and a bunch of new ones.

http://starwars.carrotnetwork.com/jediepisode2.jpg

You know you want it too.

--
No sig for you. YOU GET NO SIG!

Re:Jedi battles on speed by fireylord · 2007-05-10 07:10 · Score: 0

Does the fact that there were only ever 2 Sith at any one time not kind of preclude that possibility?

Help George, Obiwan... by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 14:09 · Score: 0

... you're our only hope.

Also from the article by themildassassin · 2007-05-09 14:15 · Score: 1

Lucas also called Spiderman 3 "silly" which is interesting because Sam Raimi is ten time the director Lucas could ever be.

Don't get me wrong, original star wars is good stuff, but Lucas has never been that great of a director.

S'matter? by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 14:17 · Score: 0

Is he running out of money?

Han Solo by Jacer · 2007-05-09 14:26 · Score: 1

Here's to hoping they turn the Han Solo trilogy into a two-movie bad-ass fest of banditry, smuggling, laser and star ship battles, and general scoundrel(y)

--
--fetch daddy's blue fright wig, i must be handsome when i release my rage

My childhood! by Danathar · 2007-05-09 14:40 · Score: 1

We'll probably see Boba Fett singing.

More of my childhood is being raped and pillaged! :)

You can laugh now.

Listen to Han! by A3gis · 2007-05-09 15:11 · Score: 1

I really think Lucas should've sat down with his fans and discussed this in a committee

If these ones suck... by WK2 · 2007-05-09 15:18 · Score: 0

If these are as bad as the first two episodes, I am only going to watch them 15 times each.

--
Write your own Choose Your Own Adventure. http://www.freegameengines.org/gamebook-engine/

I propose a new project: Parkwars! by r_jensen11 · 2007-05-09 15:56 · Score: 1

Please, somebody tell me they've seen it. A parody of StarWars Ep. 1 with the SouthPark clan?

http://www.gametrailers.com/umwatcher.php?id=9141

$_$ = lucas by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 16:04 · Score: 0

The two main characters are Penis, and Vagina.

This is how much we care lucas, we don't fucking want any more of your shit.

Quit while you're still banking on most everyone else that hasn't figured out that episodes 1-3 shouldn't exist!

Re:I discounted that bastard while parsing the hea by fbjon · 2007-05-09 16:51 · Score: 1

No kidding. And there was another genius headline on adoption at the bottom: "If Your Daughter Doesn't Look Like You, Are You Still Her Mother?". Unsurprisingly, the article behind it makes my bones cringe. Remind me not to go to that site anymore.

--
True confidence comes not from realising you are as good as your peers, but that your peers are as bad as you are.

Re:Dark Forces by antdude · 2007-05-09 16:59 · Score: 1

I need to watch my typos. :)

--
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).

The only one by Benosaurus · 2007-05-09 17:00 · Score: 1

I guess I'm the only one that wanted to see 7, 8, and 9. Most people hated Luke Skywalker... but as a kid, I thought he was the greatest. So, I guess the kid in me still wants to see more. More Han Solo/Lando Calrissian would be interesting as well.

BETTER ACTORS PLEASE!!!!!..... by IHC+Navistar · 2007-05-09 18:09 · Score: 1

Hopefully, Lucas will find far better actors that the card-readers he casted in I, II, and III.

I'm sorry, but the acting was truly horrible, hitting the ultimate low point with Hayden Christensen.

Lucas needs to fire the idiots who find these people: They belong on QVC, rather than in a world-class movie/story.

--
Knowing Google's lust for data collection, the Soviet Union is still alive and well inside the psyche of Sergey Brin....

Made for TV... by stewbacca · 2007-05-09 18:18 · Score: 1

Made for TV is the logical progression for quite possibly the most overrated persona in movie history. Gee, I can't wait: Jar Jar Sings the Blues, maybe?

Talk about... by GrahamCox · 2007-05-09 18:49 · Score: 1

...flogging a dead horse

Re:I discounted that bastard while parsing the hea by empaler · 2007-05-09 18:50 · Score: 1

That's way too scare for me. I find the old Palpatine easier on the eyes.

Let me be the first to say by KeensMustard · 2007-05-09 18:59 · Score: 1

That's the dumbest f*king idea I have heard since I've been reading /.

Re:Let me be the first to say by NumenMaster · 2007-05-09 19:09 · Score: 1

You must've started reading /. yesterday. That, or you must've missed Basic Instinct II.

--
Where's my sock? There it is...
Re:Let me be the first to say by Xuranova · 2007-05-09 19:10 · Score: 1

As in:
That's the dumbest idea you've heard since you started reading /.
or
That's the dumbest idea you've heard 2nd only to reading slashdot?

--
"There is no real right or wrong, just what the majority accepts at the time."

Undead corpses! Or maybe not... by Jugalator · 2007-05-09 19:04 · Score: 1

Wow, I thought I saw a sneak preview of a new villain in those action films, but the undead corpse was just Cate Blanchett... Scary.

--
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!

Please George... by Rog7 · 2007-05-09 19:25 · Score: 1

Just retire with dignity before you... oh, too late, nevermind.

Star Wars: Balance of the Force by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 19:56 · Score: 0

Insider info:

The new movies will be prequels to the currently existing six Star Wars films. The second one will be titled "Star Wars: Balance of the Force". If you adhere the SW 1-6 counting, it corresponds to episode zero. In it we will learn about Darth Plaguesis and the Intergalatic Emission, a vast space expedition led by seven Jedis, who were lured into a trap and destroyed by the Sith. The frame is a quite Asimovian scenario, the Jedi recognize the decline of the Galactic Republic and instigate a grand plan to revitalize it. Extragalactic colonization is a part of it. By the way Darth Plaguesis is not evil, maybe an anti-hero, but no Palpatine.

The other new SW movie supposedly deals with Joda's journey, some 900 years in two hours that will be interesting to watch.

I say we nuke the Skywalker Ranch from orbit by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 20:24 · Score: 0

It's the only way to be sure

Maybe Lucas will acquire Wikia. by Animats · 2007-05-09 20:29 · Score: 0, Offtopic

Wikia was supposed to be a new search engine. But it's really just a free hosting service for wikis. The section that gets the most traffic is Wookiepedia, which Wikia took over and infested with ads. Wikia seems to be turning into a place where the fancruft kicked out of Wikipedia can flourish. This is probably a good thing.

So it would make sense for Lucas to acquire Wikia, and thus acquire control of the fanbase, which can then be monetized. Wikia's ads are for minor companies and are placed on irrelevant articles. Lucas's operation, which understands marketing, could do better.

Lucas might even be able to unload the leftover Jar-Jar merchandise that way.

Maybe not? by sebsa · 2007-05-09 21:01 · Score: 1

A German Star Wars enthusiasts' site (see url below) says, this could be old news. According to them, George Lucas might be talking about the the movie / tv series that were announced shortly after the airing of episode 3. In this case,they would take place between episodes three and four, featuring the development of side characters like Boba Fett. http://www.starwars-union.de/index.php?id=news&mru brik=tv-projekte&rubrik=tv-projekte&newsid=8347#83 47

It is too late for me, son by rarel · 2007-05-09 21:09 · Score: 2, Funny

Joss Whedon is my master now.

Ok, working titles are already known by MemoryDragon · 2007-05-09 21:10 · Score: 1

Star wars 7, Jar Jar memoires... Star Wars 8, The adventures of Jar Jar

Who give a s*** by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 21:38 · Score: 0

Really?

everyone knows by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-09 22:12 · Score: 0

Mark Hamill is no longer Luke Skywalker, but is now known as the Cockknocker, arch enemy of Bluntman and Chronic!

Mister Lucas, can we return to the core of SW? by master_p · 2007-05-09 22:52 · Score: 1

It is 'Star Wars'. It has 'Star' in it, so it is in space, and it is 'Wars', so we must have drama and huge space battles.

So please, quit the silly ideas of yours and let's get back to the point: let's see the Empire and the rebels in 10000 years from the original, fighting for supremacy/their life.

And here is an idea you might not have thought of: the rebels discover a wormhole that leads them somewhere in another part of space, where the third planet from the local star is blue and can host life. Of course, the Empire discovers that as well.

Classic Bloom County... by ElboRuum · 2007-05-09 23:23 · Score: 2, Insightful

...Long live Mike Binkley...

The First Warning Sign... by ElboRuum · 2007-05-09 23:26 · Score: 1

...when approached by Lucas' people, it was discovered that Natalie Portman had never seen any of the Star Wars movies.

Is that a BLARING KLAXON I hear? Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

The Force... by rolando2424 · 2007-05-09 23:29 · Score: 1

The Force is not pleased...

--
Okay seriously I've just run out of pointless things to say.

Further Reading Indicates Columnist Is... by ElboRuum · 2007-05-09 23:31 · Score: 2, Funny

...an irretrievable moron.

I cite the following:

1. The 80's were musically irrelevant...
2. Rush was a heavy metal band.

While the first is open to debate, the second has long since been proven in the court of public opinion to be absolutely false.

Conclusion:

If faced with a side-by-side comparison of his head and his ass, our dear columnist would be hard-pressed to find any dissimilarity.

Thank you.

You miscounted. by argent · 2007-05-09 23:48 · Score: 1

3 + 3 + 2 = 8

Episode IV - A New Hope

"Don't you mean I?" "No, No, there willl be 9 episodes. I just started in the middle."

Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
Episode VI - The Revenge of the Jedi

"No, no, no - Jedi care not for revenge"

Episode VI - The Return of the Jedi

(insert above dialog from Bloom County here)

"Bother, this is getting like work. I'm done."

(many years of "No, no, say it ain't so, George!" from T3H FAANS)

Not An Episode Honest - A Star Wars Christmas

(1998 passes)

Episode I - The Phantom Menace

"Hey, check out the cool special effects."

(T3H FAANS boggle)

"George! You said you had 9 episodes written. What is this shit? You gotta be making this up as you go along."

"No, Really, this is T3H GUUD STUFFS! I gots M4D SKR1PT SK1LLZ!"

Episode II - Attack of the Clones

"What the hell?"

"Hey, check it out, here's that revenge thing."

Episode III - The Revenge of the Sith

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...."

"OK, crybabies. It's over, I'm not going to put up with your whining. No more Star Wars movies."

(T3H FAANS breathe a sigh of relief)

"Well, two more. Made for TV."

(You are here)

Where do we go from here. One possibility:

Episode VII - A Star Wars Christmas?

(Aha! Maybe thats the missing episode! He'll re-issue it with ne special effects and it into the continuity!)

Episode VIII - A Jedi Nightmare?

(Before Christmas, that is. The Sith attack Pumpkin Town!)

Episode IX - The Great Gungan?

(Jar Jar Binks must solve the mystery of the missing halloween candy, guest appearance by C'Harli B'Rwn and LUSI-522, music by a computer reconstruction of Vince Guaraldi)

Re:You miscounted. by julesh · 2007-05-10 00:12 · Score: 1

I think you misunderstood my comment.

The basic chronology goes:

1. Release of "Star Wars"
2. Issue of statement that there will be 9 films; the one already released (hurriedly retitled as Episode 4), 3 prequels and 5 sequels.
3. Competent scriptwriters get hold of Lucas's synsposis for episodes 5-9, realise there's only enough good material for 2 films in them, and cut ruthlessly. Bang. No more episodes 7-9.
Re:You miscounted. by argent · 2007-05-10 11:05 · Score: 1

Ah.

I still like the idea of the Star Wars Christmas Special filling out the total to nine.

Though I think I got the last three films in the wrong order. You would of course have "The Great Gungan" before "Nightmare" and leave "Christmas" to round it out.

An excerpt from the screen play... by ElboRuum · 2007-05-10 00:00 · Score: 2, Funny

"Jar Jar, you're being appointed as the Imperial ambassador to Alderaan."

"Me-sa honored, Big Boss Tarkin, When me go?"

(Tarkin whispers to Vader) "You've got the princess on the Death Star, right?"

(Vader) "Yes, governor."

"Why right away, Jar Jar, as soon as you're packed!"

"Whoopee!" (exit right).

(Tarkin) "So we'll finally be rid of this annoying fool?"

(Vader) "I've been wanting to do this since I was 10."

Re:I discounted that bastard while parsing the hea by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 00:33 · Score: 0

hey, dude? don't go to that site anymore.

dear god by Anonymous Coward · 2007-05-10 01:52 · Score: 0

why won't this man just stop? why does he continue to destroy everything that is good and right with the world?

More appeal to the kid market by Grashnak · 2007-05-10 02:09 · Score: 1

What if Jar Jar adopted a baby ewok and embarked on a series of wacky adventures?

--
Life needs more saving throws.

Someone get the man a new club.! by CdrGlork · 2007-05-10 02:17 · Score: 0

His old one is splintered from beating the old horse through the last trilogy. Apparently he isn't done yet!

May the Force bequeath you... by witch · 2007-05-10 04:01 · Score: 1

This one seems far more likely... http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/070409.html

--
They're taking their dog to get its two shots before it's too late. You're taking your dog there too, right?

The Missing Yuenglings by burntash · 2007-05-10 05:02 · Score: 1

http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2007-0 3-06

makes for quite an interesting storyline he can bring in matt and ian ;)

Caution: this 'news' is coming from a guy... by NM156 · 2007-05-10 06:14 · Score: 1

...who calls Rush "the big hair, fake falsetto heavy metal group that made the 1980s so irrelevant musically" and casts them in the same league as Poison and Journey. I'm not even going to bother to explain the utter absurdity of such an idiotic statement.

Needless to say, someone as uninformed as this moron doesn't deserve much credibility, even when reporting on a fluff subject like 'entertainment news.' Then again, one can see why they would have him cover the red carpet instead of real news.

Re:Caution: this 'news' is coming from a guy... by xrobertcmx · 2007-05-10 06:42 · Score: 1

Now now, no need to be bitter because Rush is much better then Poison, and manage to still be relevant.
Re:Caution: this 'news' is coming from a guy... by NM156 · 2007-05-10 06:50 · Score: 1

Irrelevant enough to land at #3 on the Billboard charts. Methinks there are many artists that would kill for that kind of irrelevancy.
Re:Caution: this 'news' is coming from a guy... by xrobertcmx · 2007-05-10 07:04 · Score: 1

Yes, back in 199.... Ahh, Ride the Wind. Big hair, big instruments, big Video's. And now, members of the band appear on VH1 reality shows. Don't get me wrong, I listed to them in highschool. I also listened to AC DC, Skid Row, Motley Crew, and a few others.
Re:Caution: this 'news' is coming from a guy... by NM156 · 2007-05-10 07:13 · Score: 1

LOL... sorry, I misread your post... thought you said that Rush were irrelevant, hence my sarcastic reply about their #3 Billboard position this week. Anyway, I agree with you about Poison et. al. "Nothin' but a good time!"

Personally... by T23M · 2007-05-10 06:25 · Score: 1

I wouldn't mind a bit if there was an embrace of EU material; maybe a Han/Chewie branchoff (Star's End, anyone?)...Keyan Farlander, Kyle Katarn, Corran Horn, Wraith Squadron...

Rebellion, Taxes, Social Security? by killmore · 2007-05-10 08:42 · Score: 1

Lets see when Lucas was young, rebellious director he made a trilogy about rebellion against establishment. Now that he is middle aged his trilogy is about war caused by Taxes, trying to grab more Wealth In the old age he will make something based on Social Security?

[OT] Sig by jcuervo · 2007-05-10 09:20 · Score: 1

"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next. "NO"

--
Assume I was drunk when I posted this.

Slashdot Mirror

Lucas To Make New Live Action Star Wars Films

371 comments