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Ask Slashdot: How Do I Get My Spouse To Start Gaming With Me?
x_IamSpartacus_x writes "I've been a gamer for a long time (started on Nibbles in MS-DOS) and enjoy pretty much any good game. I can enjoy side-scrolling relics (original Prince of Persia, Win 95), to modern MMORPGs (stopped playing my 85 lvl Mage on WoW just recently, read on to see why), to a good sports game (Madden series are a blast) and many more. I've been married for 4 years now and have hardly touched my games since being married and starting having kids. My wife and I are Americans but live overseas and have little access to new movies/entertainment and, from experience, I know that a good game can provide much more entertainment than a good movie. My question is, what are good ways/good games that I can use to get my wife into computer gaming? We both have good laptops that I'd love to get her interested in using to do co-op or combative games with me. Because of my long experience, gaming comes naturally to me and so even on a game I haven't played I would probably be much better than she. Is there a game or idea that would take away the embarrassing factor for her of being much worse than I am while still being enjoyable and worth spending a lot of time on with me? Do any other Slashdotters struggle getting their spouse to game with them?"
You don't.
Either she'll game differently/better than you and you'll regret it.
Or all your time becomes gaming time when your together and you don't end up enjoying it.
- http://www.milkme.co.uk
I got my girlfriend a DS and Animal Crossing. Haven't heard from her since. Except when she wants to come to my town to sell stuff.
This is a decision you will soon regret. Go out and immerse yourself in the local culture, take the wife and kids. It's an experience you'll never have again, take advantage of that rather than cooped up at home.
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."-THG
Why not do something active?
Why not get out and explore the country that you are in with your wife and kids?
---
Segmentation Fault ( core dumped )
Get friends together so she's not the only inexperienced person, and so she can take a break when she wants. Do stuff like Rock Band that is cooperative and easily adjusted for new players.
The cluelessness of the nerd knows no bounds.
I don't read your sig. Why are you reading mine?
That ought to do it.
I think the Shii would be good option!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKwI4GP4seM
Err, the wife. That'll boost her self-confidence.
It has a very decent co-op mode, and adapts well to novice and hard-core gamers alike. Unlike many games, the storyline isn't repetitive/dull and is varied and engaging enough to keep at it for a while, with the main storyline missions and other optional missions to help build up cash and experience. So far, that's the only game that my girlfriend has played with me for more than 30 minutes (we play a lot of Borderlands, often at her insistence).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV397Ov-w4s
It never works out.
...of time spent with one of her favorite hobbies. Spend some time doing something she likes or promise that you will in the future (and follow through of course if you ever want her to play again). Companionship isn't rocket science...
My first game was Microsoft Olympic Decathlon for PC DOS 1.0 and I don't have an answer to your question. Funny enough, I bought that PC from a Computerland sales dude by the name of Don Mattrick. I play all sorts of games, and my wife plays Minesweeper. The only thing I've gotten her to play with me was some XBox Kinect games.
Good luck!
will let you soon as i get a wife - still working on getting a girlfriend first and leaving mom's house...
People have different interests, even your wife. Try taking an interest in the activities she's doing while you're gaming; maybe you'll like them.
I think its as simple as playing a game that is very *fun* and then playing another game that is very *fun* and there you have it. Start with Portal 2 (great co-op for any skill level) and then continue looking for good Co-Op games.
Dude, I've been married for over thirty years and have never been able to get my wife into gaming... unless it was "Bubbles" on her iPhone or a simple solitary type game. She just has no desire to play and/or sees it as too much work. It is not fun for her at all; needless to say I am the exact opposite.
1st step : Trash those year old Doritos bags and keep your gaming room clean.
Not only is Portal a great game, but I have lots of non-gamer friends who enjoyed it, plus there is a sequel with co-op. It's also extremely good at training people to play the game, and teaching it's core mechanics. New gamers often find starting off hard as most games presume so much knowledge of general gaming. Portal lowers that barrier to entry significantly.
-- Lattyware (www.lattyware.co.uk)
la
Portal 2 has a nice co-op mode (video), you solve the puzzles together. It could be fun.
Are you that much of a loser that you would take the time to write to a forum such as this asking for help in turning someone into as big a nerd as you are? Just be grateful you were able to dupe a female into marrying you and don't push it.
This place is looking more like Reddit everyday.
Hunt the Wumpus and Zork are relics, and Super Mario Bros. and Gianna Sisters are scrollers. Now, get off my lawn!
Try the Lego game franchise. Not only they are VERY casual friendly, they are coop and fun. She is bound to enjoy one of the franchises so get that one, they are all equally good (except the Indiana Jones one).
Seriously, if you can get others involved, do so. It makes the competition a little easier on them when they are ganging up on the pro gamer with 2 on 1 or even 3 on 1 matches.
The kids tend to like it to when they "get" Dad.
Just be forewarned. Your kids will eventually get better than you are. It's inevitable. Trust me.
thesettlersonline.net is pretty freaking addictive. My brother had the same sort of issue with his wife. He wanted her to start gaming, as well. He looked at a bunch of different games and settled on that one. She's been playing it pretty religiously since. It's not exactly something you could do together, but it's close. It could possibly serve as a gateway drug to other games.
Chicks dig that.
They like it of you talk to them too.
So talk about cuddling.
"I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." : Dogbert
Speaking as a gamer who got married and had kids, as well as somebody who lived overseas: Spend the time meeting your wife and kids in activities that THEY like,and explore the huge world around you IRL. The gaming will wait a few years, your wife won't feel abandoned in a foreign land, and when the kids get older, they'll love gaming with you (can be your "thing" with them). I have a gaming rig that I haven't even turned on in 2 months.. Sad, but time with the family is priority one for me, and I'll be honest in saying that there were many times I had to CHOOSE to make it that way, as my selfish feelings told me to sit in the basement many times. If your wife IS interested, I agree with above that Portal would be a good start, in coop mode.
I was in a similar situation to you. I got my spouse into gaming by playing Torchlight 2 with her and some friends. It is simple enough that anyone can play it, but it has several addictive features that will keep her coming back for more. What is more, by playing with some of her friends besides me, she feels that it is a social experience and not a "waste of time".
I think Minecraft would be a good way to start. You can build things together and your spouse has no "he is better than me"-pressure. Start with a peaceful world and some times later you can turn on mobs and be her guardian while she adapts to the new aspect. My wife and I are playing games together since we know each other and MC became one of our alltime-favorites :)
My wife doesn't do much gaming with me but she will play Catan, Carcassonne and Acquire with me. It's a compromise I'm happy with.
Although Skylanders is a kids game, it is actually a fun, RPG-lite with a respectable co-op mode. Even more important for mixed marriages like your own, you choose characters using real monster toys, which makes the whole experience a bit more light-hearted AND allows for fun together in the real world, buying your next Skylander. Or just download The Ur-Quan Masters, since I hear there will be a high res version delivered soon through Steam.
Don't try to change your partner. accept the differences and don't try to force them to sharing your interests. Same with your kids, as techies/geeks, it's an appealing thought that we can program people as we would a python script, to see the world our way.
the reality is that enjoying modern gaming relies on the player being trained by previous generations of games.
I would love for my wife to experience games like Portal or Dear Esther, but I know since she never played any 3rd person shooter the controls are way too complex. Remember when Quake came out? and you had to worry for the first time about actually having to look up to shoot something?.
I asked her what games she did play as a kid. she said "super mario!" I said "cool..." (thinking supermeatboy/braid etc.) "...did you have a NES or a SNES?", she said "no supermario on the battery LCD pocket game", That said I plan to play the double fine adventure with her when it comes out.
Take it a step at a time, our interests in gaming didn't appear overnight. Start with board/card games like Settlers of Catan or Munchkin. Play those with mutual friends, it may help build up her interest. Settlers of Catan is only a step away from Civilization games. If she has any friends that play Magic the Gathering, that can be a good start too, and the artwork may draw her in, or the collecting. Use these to bring out her interest, then try straightforward, shorter, but good games, like Portal. But don't just recommend your favorite games, ask what she's interested in. If she isn't sure, slowly try out a genre at a time. Avoid first person shooters at all cost unless you are positive she's interested in them.
Same situation here. I'm a hardcore gamer, she is not. In PC terms I have had success with Orcs Must Die 2 and Portal 2. I also tried Magicka but that didn't seem to be her to tastes. All are available on Steam. Portal 2's level editor provides a lot of replayability and we're currently working our way through Nightmare difficulty on Orcs Must Die 2. I got her to try these when we started doing "His/Hers nights" where each of us has 1 weeknight to totally dictate what activities we do that night (with the intent that whatever we do will be together). OMD2 has been so successful we've played it on a few of her nights or nights that or not either of ours.
On the Wii the Lego series of games has been a huge hit, especially since she's a Harry Potter fan. Replayability is limited after you 100% each of them (number of hours varies, typically 20-40).
All of these games are specifically 2 player coop.
First of all: If your wife never played games in her life, forget everything with Mouselook / Dual-Stick for the moment. It won't work. Forget WoW, because also that requires mouselook. It will frustrate her.
Try games, where reaction time is not required, games which are story driven similar to a movie.
My vote goes to something like Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Played it together with the girlfriend on the wii and we both had a blast puzzling and solving cases. General Point & Click Adventures can provide a similar experience.
If you want to try something new with coop, which quite probably will not require so many skills, try The Cave, which will be out on the 23rd.
Surely, you jest.
I am the least grown up of nearly any man I know (Well- I do know a lot of musicians), and have never taken to video games. I spent many hours of my youth watching my friends play Donkey Kong, &c. but could not do it myself. Not everyone will enjoy it.
They feared that it could be used to suppress protest or support unpopular rule.
Get a Wii, 2 Wiimotes and Mario Galaxy. You play the main game, she just has to point the Wiimote at different crystals on the screen to help you out. No button pushing required, and you get that feeling of "working together" without her having to deal with the fact that gaming is a dumb thing to spend years learning the nuances of.
Does she like pinball? or other stuff like gun games?
First of all, congrats on focusing on life outside of computers. Good on you.
Next, to answer your question. How about liquidwar?
If she's willing to give it a shot then it probably doesn't matter what you start with or if you beat her every time (btw why play competitive games against her?). But if you are just "getting her to game" you're headed for disaster. Before I was married I tried to "get her to autocross" (driving your car in a timed run around cones in a parking lot) because whats more fun than throwing your car around in a safe environment with a bunch of other gearheads right? Disaster. She is not a speed freak. Right after the inspection she was too upset to do anything and ended up leaving. I had ruined BOTH of our days trying to get her to have what I consider fun. I'm glad I learned that lesson before we got married (and yes we did in fact get married). The moral is: the most important thing you gotta think of is how is she enjoying it. If she's not into it after a few honest attempts you best drop it.
HOWEVER
Why not just sneak in a little gaming on your own in what little free time you might have? You probably didn't game with her before you got married, you maybe you just need to find a new way to game thats still fun if your buddies aren't around. I realize this may be impossible with kids (which we don't have yet) but my wife is totally cool with all of my car hobbies. I went to a race track the weekend after we got back from our honeymoon and there were no complaints (visible or otherwise...I hope). Just because you're married doesn't mean you must have all the same hobbies. She doesn't try to get me into nail polish or knitting either. I just make sure we spend a good bit of the rest of our free time together.
Divorce her and marry a gamer.
Made for Wi and PS and Xbox, although I mainly have played on Wii.
Very good for cooperative gaming (up to 4 simulataneously), you can die an infinite number of times and all it does is lower your score (you res in-place). Versions based on popular movie series (Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc) are available for relatively cheap (if you wait until a year has passed). Great fun with my non-gamer wife!
Not only am I a scientist, I play one on TV
First! You get a Box
Two Cut a hole in it
Three but your dick in a box.
Some girls don't like games but here are some to try that the female population seems to be more receptive to in my experience:
Party Games: Guitar Hero, Mario Party, Wii Party, Scene It, Monopoly Streets
Multiplayer Platformers: Mario Kart, New Super Mario Bros, Donkey Kong Country, Little Big Planet
Puzzle Games: Bejeweled, Peggle, Hidden Object Games like Mystery Case Files
Adventure Games: Back to the Future (big hit with my fiancee, we played through the whole thing)
For the more girly girls, you might need to go with something with the "cute" factor. Little Big Planet is especially good at this one. You can put stickers on stuff and dress your sack boy/girl. It's also multiplayer. Co-op is usually a plus.
We'll make great pets
I hate to break it to you but she grew up and you didn't.
I hate to break it to you, but it's not elementary kids feeding the gaming industry to the tune of a billion dollars a year. Adults game, and there's not a damn thing wrong with it unless you allow it to become one.
Hell, I'd rather find a fellow adult co-worker who games to blow off steam than wonder when that quiet shy guy in the corner cube is gonna suddenly snap one day and murder the entire office because he can't seem to find an outlet to deal with adult stress.
Gaming does have its benefits for all ages. True, it also has its downsides, especially for those who become addicted. But when is that not true for anything in life.
I suggest that you first try to present her games with a nice story, that she can watch while you play - and even suggest interactions. Games like Heavy Rain would do the trick. Later, she couls be presented to games with puzzles - and try to solve them with you (the Uncharted serie would do this trick). You can even just do this - believe in me, having your wife watching you play and even helping you out is as nice as her being your player 2...
After seing games as a media for interesting stories and started to interact with them, she would be ready to take the joystick, maybe with coop games like Little Big Planet.
This approach really worked for me - in fact, it was my wife that asked me to answer this.
"Carpe Diem"
You make time for gaming, and for doing stuff both of you like.
I don't know what he/she likes that you don't, but what would it take for you to take THAT up ? Nothing doing, right ? same here...
The Cloud - because you don't care if your apps and data are up in the air.
I think your goal of playing co-op or combative games with her is a huge stretch for two reasons:
1) Your wife isn't a gamer now
2) Not every gamer likes co-op games or combative ones.
You may be able to introduce her to gaming and get her started, and if you do manage to do that, she's going to need time to discover which genres she enjoys. Your experience will help her there, since you can introduce her to a little bit of everything. At the end of the day, even IF she does pick up gaming, you might have to be happy that she finds a genre of games she likes and plays them, while you get to enjoy yours.
By the way: While I'm posting this my wife has been hogging the 360 all morning. I love it, and it's one of the reasons we're together in the first place; we've both been avid gamers since the 80s. Even though we both put in roughly the same amount of time gaming, it's very rare we play together, co-op or otherwise. Keep that in mind.
Let me explain a little bit more...
You know those hours that you spend alone, immersed in a game while you own n00bs in BF3 or while you wage some pathetic WoW or LoL quest? What is your wife doing while this is going on? Is she cleaning, making dinner, keeping the kids occupied or watching a movie, leaving you uninterrupted for your fun?
Now, imagine she's gaming, spending hours immersed in a WoW or LoL quest, or worse still some ridiculous hours long farming stint. Imagine she's as addicted to that crap as you are. Who's cleaning, making dinner, watching the kids? I can tell you who won't be playing games for long stretches. I can tell you who won't be enjoying the fact that their spouse is gaming. You won't.
The proper course of action is for you to spend a little less time gaming and a little more time doing group activities with your family. Then you can enjoy your uninterrupted game time.
Regret, thy name is x_IamSpartacus_x
Try the like of "The Walking Dead" by Telltale Games... It's an adventure game in which your decisions (mainly conversational) affect the course of the story. Put that in a post-apocalyptic world where zombies outnumber us and it'll keep you both on edge. I got my girlfriend who is the most anti-gaming person on the planet to play and she demands for more!
Using your body instead of a controller tends to break down barriers.
Sure your wife has interests in certain themes that are explored in games. In my experience with women (that is not much by any stretch at all) they are not compelled by being a hero or combat like men are. Try more "mundane" experiences first, like The Sims or Harvest Moon for instance. You may not find it very fun but she may. When she gets used to controls (keyboard/mouse or gamepad) and knows that there are games that she may enjoy, introduce co-op games that you can enjoy together. She will already be used to how controls work and should be easier to explore other games, specially with you doing it together. Pick games you never played to start playing with her, so you are both learning together and teaching each other.
This combination doesn`t exist: ETIs that know about humanity and want to see us dead. Otherwise we wouldn't exist.
I'm not sure I'd be trying to push her into gaming unless she's actually interested in doing so. Surely it'd be better to just find a hobby / activity that you both have a common interest in?
But that aside, I found Left for Dead was a great co-op game that could be enjoyed by people with different skill sets. My girlfriend is a much better FPS gamer than me and she had to save my arse frequently in that game but we still both had a lot of fun.
For gods sake, this question has been asked hundreds of thousands of times since the dawn of the internet. A simple google search would tell you the same things everyone has been saying for decades now.
And lets not forget the simple fact, she may not want to. What is it with people who think that because they love something they need to get others on board also and assume they will love it also if they just try it?
Its your spouse, surely by now you have some freaking idea of what they like or dont like, or have the courage at this point to just ask them to try it with you. Stop being a pussy and ask them and if they dont like it then just leave it alone.
It's not clear if she's already a gamer, but if you just want something to get her into gaming, I'd recommend games like Portal, Dragon Age: Origins, Skyrim, Neverwinter Nights, Diablo, and Starcraft. They are fairly easy to learn and play, and I think the heavy story components of DA:O and Skyrim make them newbie friendly (it's engaging and not constant combat, just make sure to start her on the lowest difficulty level). And you can do multi-player together on Portal 2, NWN, Diablo and Starcraft.
If you want MMOs, maybe try something like LOTR Online if she is a fan of Tolkien, since it would be a familiar world.
If she's not into combat games, there are also many casual games and computer versions of board games that have multiplayer. My husband and I play Ticket to Ride, and I play Carcassonne with a friend who lives in another country.
I've been gaming with my husband fairly regularly since we got married nearly 20 years ago (although our gaming did drop off dramatically when our oldest was born until our youngest child was 5--little ones require lots of time!). As far as I can tell, his strategy was to figure out what type of game *I* responded to best, and then play those with me. Sometimes he'd play them solo first to get through the learning curve and be able to coach me when I needed it (though he was also kind enough NOT to coach me when I wanted to figure things out solo). I realize I slowed him way, way down, but it was "together" time that we both enjoyed, and he played his own games separately as well (a much wider range of games, and at much higher difficulty levels).
Initially I preferred those silly fantasy quest / adventure games where you figure out puzzles (Kings Quest and the like--really juvenile, but I liked it, and it was ultimately my gateway into other games). He'd hang out while I played, offering me advice when I asked for it, and generally just being supportive and interested (like a parent at a young child's soccer game - hah). Later we played strategy games like MOO 1 and XCOM 1 (I did say this was 20 years ago!), and he'd help me through the learning curve until I was addicted as well. Somewhere along the way we stumbled onto Daggerfall/Oblivion/Skyrim, so we played those as well. Sims is another fantastic game line for pulling someone into gaming--I have a few friends who've said they never understood my enjoyment of games until they played that. On rare occasions we'd play a collaborative multiplayer game in which he'd be way, WAY further ahead than I was, and sometimes I didn't mind, but other times it was annoying. So most of the time I play the game and he coaches/hangs out with me... and then when I'm done he plays his own game. That's probably not the ideal you're aiming for, but the bottom line is that if you're wanting to help her learn to like gaming, you have to find something she likes to serve as her initial "hook" and then be fully supportive as she does make her way up the learning curve.
So that's what worked for us. It might work for you. Something else might work for you. Or you might decide to have a different interest in common with her, and let gaming just be your thing (especially when your little ones are young! most moms I know would refuse to waste even 90 minutes watching a movie they didn't like in those first couple of years, where 90 minutes of downtime is absurdly luxurious and not something one can waste... so if that's the case, give her 3 years and then try again).
My SO is a gamer, but a different sort from me. She likes Xbox games, mostly shooters and RPG titles. The only PC game she'll play is The Sims 2. I primarily play role playing and real time strategy games.
We found our crossover points in a couple different ways:
1. We compete on silly casual games on our phones and tablets. Superiority in Bubble Shooter or figuring out a new way to make pictures of dicks relevant in Draw Something is treasured gaming experience.
2. The PC gaming experience for games like Skyrim, Fallout 3 and Dragon Age is better, so we kind of play and make decisions together. I'm more of an explorer and she's more of an action junkie, but in practice this means that if one of us can't do something with our normal approach, it's time for the other to take a crack at it.
3. Sometimes I suck it up and let her kick my ass in some kind of console shooter or Kinect title. I'll also sit out with her and read while she leans on me and plays Borderlands or something. It's kind of passive/introvert together time.
4. We experimented with MMO-playing, but the MMO I actually like closed and she's not into WoW any more, so the motivation for that just evaporated. That actually worked pretty well.
Mostly, though, we play different games and it's FINE. I do my thing and she does hers.
-- I wanna decide who lives and who dies - Crow T. Robot, MST3K
You have a post about what you like, but what does she like? Does she play video games? Does she play any non video games, like board games, sports? Is she competitive?
It's not like video games are new, if she hasn't gotten into video games by now, she's probably not interested.
I suggest you find something she likes, if she's into dancing, maybe a dancing game, or if she likes to rock out without real instruments, a guitar hero like game.
Another question, do you do things she likes? Do you try to do the activities she's into?
Be seeing you...
Play something she may find interesting, and see if she lingers watching, showing interest, then offer. Or maybe she'll even ask to try. But if you push it too hard, she'll end up resenting gaming.
I can get my girl to play Mario Kart sometimes, but other than that I just let her enjoy her own thing.
Does it make you happy you're so strange?
Does it have to be computer games? Especially "real gaming" which is usually defined as boring WWII FPS sequels?
You're overseas? Invite friends over to place some kind of euro board/physical game. Yes yes agricola takes 45 minutes to set up all the counters but there's plenty of lighter fare. Settlers of catan? Carcassonee? How about Dominion (a euro-card game)? Or strip-Dominion? Pretty much anything in the Rio Grande catalog?
How about paper and pencil RPG? Yeah if you're overseas in Saudi Arabia they might get nervous about "magic" or whatever fictional religious aspects, but if you're in a civilized part of the world it should be no problem. Pathfinder or classic DnD?
Plain ole card games? You're overseas so invite several locals over for poker night. Better yet if it works out rotate to each players house.
There's a certain theme to the above... yes you can play all of the above "on a computer" but it works just as well in person and that's probably the way to pivot into "computer" gaming if you're the type where the UI matters more than the gameplay or if its occasionally just more convenient to play on a tablet while traveling or whatever. Example: if she likes playing euro-resource-type-games in person using cardboard like "powerline" or WTF its called, its a pretty short jump to Civilization / Simcity.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
Was the purpose of your post to say, "Oooh, look at me, I have a spouse!"
If your wife is resistant to trying out any games, I would suggest trying out what she wants to do first. Whether it is going to the opera, taking dance lessons, or setting up a social empire in your neighborhood (to name a few extreme cases), most people are more willing to try something new when they see someone making an effort for them. Beyond that, start with the classics. Even a non-gamer probably grew up watching super mario or other games and would be interested in playing it for the nostalgia.
I had the best sucess using Wii Sports Games where she would usually outclass me :-).
By getting a new spouse.
Consider:
If your spouse enjoyed gaming, your spouse would already be playing games.
If you convince/cajole/annoy your spouse into playing games, your spouse will, more than likely, do it just to please you and/or to shut you up on the topic.
*You* think games are more interesting than movies. Others may not. (I watch few movies and think games are mind-numbingly boring.)
If your spouse is bored and you are looking to help with that, good for you. But, expand your search.
-- Slashdot: When Public Access TV Says "No"
I know you've asked specifically about computer gaming. But, why not consider starting her out with Wii (Or Wii U) games that tend to be less casual. I'm not talking Wii Dance here or anything, but the Mario Galaxy series, Mario Kart, Smash Bros. Brawl, Super Mario. All of these are fun and visually pleasing games (some co-op/versus) and allow for a good introduction to more complex gaming later on. Just a thought!
If you wanted a spouse who likes gaming with you.. you probably should have married someone who was into gaming. If they're not into it.. they're probably not going to get into it.
First, you will have to accept that if she simply doesn't like video games, you shouldn't try to force her into playing with you. My wife generally doesn't like video games but she's happy to let me play while she does her own thing most nights.
However, my wife does enjoy playing a few games with me. One is You Don't Know Jack, a humorous trivia game. The most recent version is available on consoles and Steam and has plenty of content. She enjoys playing New Super Mario Bros Wii in co-op mode as well.
We recently got a Kinect and now my wife wants to play that more than I do. The game that comes with it, Kinect Adventures, is fun, and she also enjoys an exercise "game" (Your Shape I think). We have Dance Central 3 but both of us are horrible dancers so I'm not sure how much use it will get (I also can't stand pretty much any song in the setlist). Anyway, the point is that these games are different enough from your standard controller-based ones that people who normally don't like video games may be more willing to play them.
Another option is board games. There are a lot of great European-style board games out there that can be played with 2 players. Some of them are co-operative as well which can help avoid your wife being turned off by the competition. Carcassone is a great competitive game for 2 (or more) players, and if she likes that, there's a downloadable console version that seems to be very faithful to the original game (as well as being a lot cheaper). Which would be another way to help her accept video games a bit more--video game versions of board games she already enjoys.
I second this. Portal 2 is insanely attractive to non-gamers. That said, it's not that much of a gateway drug in my experience, leading if anything to an interest in puzzle games. It seems easier to go from Portal 2 to Osmos than from Portal 2 to Left 4 Dead... much to my disappointment.
... Depends on which is preferred. A relationship is basically an act of prolonged negotiation and it's not good to let it break down. Negotiations (whether by kind words or bullets), involve some form of bartering. Not unlike most games either.
But, seriously, just get together and talk about games for a start. If she loves you, she'll want to share that part of your life since it's clearly a significant part of your life. Start easy, and be aware of the difference in experience (important! Soundly defeating your opponent should be saved for later when she's good enough), and you can gradually start to enjoy games together even with the limited selection. I'd probably start looking for games playable with a simple download first since you did mention trouble finding good titles. There are lots of places online (flash games to start) and if you have two computers, you can compare scores even without multiplayer.
If she picks MindJack though, hand her the divorce papers.
If computers were people, I'd be a misanthrope.
You are married? Can you plz post some pseudocode on how to do that. thnx.
IMHO,games on those two platforms are very heavily geared towards females Start of slow with some cooperative farmville or bubble witch saga and move towards Sim City (online coming) and WOW. Violent confrontational games are feasibly going to cause you a headache if you push them too fast or strongly on your good lady wife. Actually what ever happened to chess and snakes & ladders...?
Back in the 70's A popular motorcycle magazine had a column written by "Miraculous Mutha". I remember some one writing in asking advice on how to get his wife not to pull away when she was giving him head, and he was about to come. The answer was simple and elegant. MM wrote, it's easy, just make sure the back of her head was against the fool.
Seems analogous to this.
* Carthago Delenda Est *
I'm not going to bother reading your entire post. (I know I'm a dick).
Just to answer your title question. You cannot co-erse someone into something they do not want to do. Why don't you just continue to play video games, if she is truly interested she will eventually ask to play. The most you can do now is maybe say "Hey Would you like to play this game with me?"
Maybe you haven't run into this one yet, but the advice I'll give you (based on nearly 20 years of happy marriage) is the same I give to newlyweds:
(1) Housekeepers are significantly cheaper and more effective in promoting marital harmony than marriage counselors, and far cheaper than divorce lawyers. That's where your first discretionary dollars should go.
(2) New activities are most interesting with friends. That is, if you want her to enjoy getting into skiing, gaming, whatever, with you, then find a couple also interested in getting into it, and make it a group thing.
It's of course a bit different. It uses different hardware. It has similarities to your game:
- you can advance through several levels
- you can use your fingers for control
- you can customize her outfit
- you can collect and use tools
- you can play it on the couch
- there's a boss level at the end (you most likely won't get near it, nor will beat it, just use some tools for now)
But there are differences, too:
- it's more exciting
- you can use more than your fingers
- you get more physical feedback than rumble
- you are not restricted to your couch
- you might achieve more satisfaction
Just try it. You'll probably realize that she's not playing your game because her game is a lot better.
Got my SO a 7" tablet for Xmas. She's always liked to watch me play through Creed or Uncharted or the like but in a short month she's bested 2 Angry Birds and just about to 'finish' Plants vs Zombies. Frankly, she's gaming far more than me so far this year and I'm not even working!
...until you've played Strip Call of Duty :D
I tend to agree with the first post that if she isn't a gamer by now then you probably can't turn her into one. However here are some games that I have found from personal experience that gamers and non gamers can enjoy together. Some are co-op but some are solo games that you sit beside and help along.
Stay away from realistic violence. Sadly this probably rules out most of the games you enjoy yourself.
Stay away from any game that requires significant mouse or controller dexterity. This rules out most first and third person action games and also many old school platformers.
Fantasy themed MMORPGS (WOW, LOTRO, GUILD WARS etc. Just don't expect to be doing raids together any time soon)
Fantasy themed RPGS but beware of overly complex ones. Kingdoms of Amalur is very approachable.
Point and click adventures used to be great for non gamers. See if you can find one made this century.
Fantasy themed Co-Op: Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, Trine 1/2, Dungeon Siege 1,2,3
Easy Driving games: Mario Kart, Trackmania
Any of the Lego games (Harry Potter, Indiana, Batman etc) works great if you play Co-Op on a Wii
In fact lots of of games on the Wii: Wii Sports, Just Dance (go on embarass yourself)
World of Goo highly recommended and can be fun to solve levels together.
Any game by Pop Cap (Plants versus Zombies especially recommended)
Just about Facebook or mobile game is accessible to casual gamers but you'll probably hate them.
I downloaded fun run for our kid on my iPad.. he liked it and it has a mode where you can play friends (cross device too!) So I put it on my phone and the wife's phone. Now we all 3 play together and she can't feel any more embarrassed than myself when our son (who turns 3 in February) beats both of us
Talk to h(er|im). The summary read: me, me, me, you do what I do.
I agree with the few that say don't try and get her to game but don't take such a nihilistic approach. Instead maybe you should find something that she is interested in and develop an interest in it yourself, why does she have to be the one to 'change'. If that isn't applicable maybe you two should find a new hobby together. Especially something that gets you outside and working together things like Skii'ing, camping, hiking, even rock climbing if your more adventurous not only get you in great shape but are way more exciting then any video game and help develop strong emotional bonds. I have gaming friends (mostly table top some board gaming) but I'm no where near as close to them at an emotional level as I am with my climbing friends zero comparison. Just my two cents.
Angry Birds and Peggle.
Maybe Puzzle Quest, but while it's very simple on the surface, it may be too thick on the fantasy-theme and potentially complex (for a non-gamer) mechanics.
However, as others are noting, trying to get someone into video games is like trying to get someone into any other hobby you have: they might humor you and have some light fun, but deep and frequent appreciation of any given hobby has to originate from the person in question. If your friend was into scrapbooking and wanted to convert you, do you really think there's anything they could do to really get you into it?
But anyway, the above games are ones I gave to my grandmother which she now enjoys thoroughly, despite being very computer illiterate (which is fine).
Here's how to do it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0Be8LnuG3U
https://app.box.com/WitthoftResume Code: https://github.com/cellocgw
In my experience you are better off to lay off the games and just spend time with her.
I found getting my Wife to start gaming with me was a matter of finding a game we are both interested in. I'm lucky, she's already a bit of a nerd, but honestly she was more into seeing live band shows and occasionally playing Console games when I first met her.
I'd say if your Wife has never gamed much on a computer, AVOID FPSes! New gamers - including my wife after gaming for a few years now - get very frustrated by the learning curve, especially learning to look behind yourself and then quickly look forward again when playing a game like F.E.A.R. If you do start with an FPS, try something that's more scripted, like the Saint's Row 3 COOP missions.
With us, the game that got our gaming adventure started was World of Warcraft, something we have played off and on for the past 5 years. It really encourages cooperative play while allowing new gamers to adjust to the feel of the mouse and keyboard.
I'd have to agree with others though....If she is just NOT interested in gaming at all, then there isn't much point in trying to force someone. However, that's usually not the case....Something about gaming must have interested her when she met you :P :P So I'm guessing she's at least open to the idea, and it may just take the right game, and some positive/fun experiences to help nurture it. Maybe some babysitting from Grandma as well! :P (Unless Grandma is not overseas) lol
Sincerely hope you find something that works for you both! :)
Cheers,
Matt
You married her for other things. Enjoy them and quit trying to fit a round object into a square hole.
Or divorce her and marry your best gaming buddy. Then your spouse will game with you.
E
Self = PS3 gamer.
Spouse = iPad gamer.
We don't have many common games we share. However, if I'm on the PS3, spouse will bring in the iPad and surf the web, play a game of own, etc. If I'm reading a book or on my own laptop, spouse can mirror iPad game to AppleTV and show me the iPad game. Works with kiddies too, just save the MA games for after the kids go to sleep.
Key point: You don't have the play the same games together. So long as you can share the experience together, that's what counts.
Kill Zombies. My wife only likes certains kinds of games. Kill zombies after a hard day of dealing with kids really seems to help calm her down.
from experience, I know that a good game can provide much more entertainment than a good movie.
Does your spouse have the same opinion about gaming as you? maybe she views gaming as little more than a time wasting experience.
Because of my long experience, gaming comes naturally to me
Maybe your spouse sees that, and she prefers not to become addicted to gaming as you appear to be.
.
Perhaps the question that is really being asked here is, "my wife is giving me grief for sitting in front of the game console all day, and I want her to stop bothering me and let me play."
The manner in which you pose your questions is that of a selfish person. Instead of trying to impose your likes upon her, you should be talking with her about new things both of you can enjoy, perhaps even taking advantage of living in a different country.
With so much to discover and learn just outside your door, why waste your time sitting in front of a game console?
Talk to your wife. Explain that it's important to you. Maybe she'll give it a try. But you can't convince her if it's not her thing.
My wife tried co-op games (lego star wars, etc) with me but really wasn't into it. But she respects that it's important to me and lets me have time to play, even if it's not with her.
The stupidest thing you can do is ask a bunch of nerds for advice and then try to convince her she should be into it. Talk to her instead.
I got my wife to start playing WoW with me shortly after we got married. The hook I used to get her to spend some time actually trying it out was by getting her to "design" a character. She loved picking out all the different aesthetic options and hearing some of the lore and abilities of all the classes and races, but didn't have any interest in actually seeing them in action until she had created a character of her very own choosing. With that little bit of investment, then she had some motivation to actually log in on that character, and start exploring the world. She hit 70 shortly before WotLK, we raided together until mid-Cataclysm, and then we both got tired of it.
Now we play Guild Wars 2 together, and we both really like it. No subscription fees, and no shortage of things to do, beautiful vistas to discover, secrets to uncover, bosses to kill, and combat mechanics are fluid and engaging. If you already had a character, or if you were to play it together and outpace her, it's OK because the zones will automatically downlevel you so that you are never more than a level or two above the mobs around you, and thus it always stays fun to play together. The specific mechanics would take more explaining and you can read about them on the wiki, but just trust that it's well done. But if you played WoW and didn't mention Guild Wars, I'm sure that means you haven't played it at all, which is best. Starting a new game together is the best way to enjoy it. So, if you think there's any chance of hooking her like I did, I recommend Guild Wars 2.
Adults game, and there's not a damn thing wrong with it unless you allow it to become one
Sure, but all the (male) adults I know who game fit into one of these categories -
- Single, or in a relationship but have no kids (ergo, have time for gaming)
- In a relationship with kids, but have an extensive child support network (grandparents etc.)
- In a relationship, with kids, but have a 'traditional' marriage where the burden of child rearing almost entirely falls on the woman - The husband is in the basement playing WoW while the wife is handling bath time, putting on pajamas, reading stories, brushing teeth then cleaning the kitchen.
- In a relationship, with kids, but the kids are largely grown up
No male I know that has younger kids and an 'equal' marriage has time for video games.
I think it depends on whether your partner isn't currently into gaming because she doesn't like it or if she just hasn't been exposed to it. Some people give it a try and enjoy it, others just never find any thrill in video games. My suggestion would be to invite her to play with you (preferably on a more simple game). If she shows an interest, then great. If not, then leave it be. Some of my past girlfriends were into gaming and some weren't. in both cases I tried to make it clear they were always welcome if they wanted to pick up a controller. At the same time it was fine if they didn't. In other words, leave the door open, but don't try to pull her through it.
A lot of the women I've known grew up being told that video games are a waste of time, or just-for-boys, so they never consider getting started and feel "wrong" if they do. Since you're a gamer, you know that there are games for every interest out there, so consider a game you know she'd be interested in.
For example, my mom likes reading. I told her that some games are just like choose-your-own-adventure books, but instead of having to flip pages to make your choices, you just press a number. She and I played the Baldur's Gate series together, where she got to make the story choices and I made the technical and tactical choices. Later she was willing to try controlling a single character via the multiplayer option. Nowadays she's even willing to play by herself, but occasionally gives me a call for tough tactical situations. My goal is to get her interested in the more tactical or strategic angle to the game since it's easy to converse at length about that stuff.
"I've been married for 4 years now and have hardly touched my games since being married and starting having kids."
What's wrong with you?
Yep, if you aren't spending hours a day balancing your checkbook, cleaning, or grumbling bitterly at the TV news, you aren't grown up. Fun is for kids, get over it and move on.
I met my wife playing Everquest... We got married a couple years later & are about to celebrate our 10th anniversary this summer. Some people just don't find some things entertaining (think cliche geeks & sports), so sometimes you have to just luck into it at the start. A word of warning though... When getting her to play CounterStrike at a LAN party, be careful. No matter how much you & the other guys are trash talking each other, the same rules don't apply to her. For example when she brings a knife to a gun fight & shanks you with it, responding with "You f*&#ing b*%@h!!!" is bad. She will never play CounterStrike again & you will still be hearing about it many years later.
If I suggested to my wife that we should play some games in bed, she'd bring the XBox.
It is not that hard to find an hour or two a week at minimum, even when raising a family, for your own hobbies and interests. You don't have to game for several hours at a stretch every day, and you can trade off with your wife instead of expecting them to do every thing. And the kids don't have to be that old before you can have a little time together with your wife while the kids are busy. Fitting video games into such a life is much easier than other hobbies that require leaving the house for several hours at a single time. But if you have trouble squeezing in a little time for games or any other hobby that can be done in the house and picked up and put down for short bursts of time, then maybe your problem lies more with either time management or your job taking up too much time.
If you have a spouse you are not a real gamer.
Wii sports and resort are great games for this purpose.
A friend of mine married an non gamer, and when I went to visit last thanksgiving, they were playing Skyrim together. He would clean out the dungeons, then she would do the crafting to make money. They both seemed to enjoy that. Since Skyrim has a great story line, watching for part of it is still entertaining.
Try a proper game like chess or scrabble or go instead of ephemeral video game rubbish. Or try learning the local language so that you can take part in all the local entertainment and culture.
In 1994 I introduced my spouse to the internet. A year later she was fucking other men all over the place.
It is like a video game you play outside.
You even get to spend most of it staring at a digital screen!
What the heck is an "equal" marriage? Last time I tried what I think you're talking about, it ended in divorce.
Step 1: Ask her if she'd be interested in playing a computer game with you sometime when you both have free time and not much interesting going on. If she says yes then go to Step 2.
Step 2: Ask her if she liked playing with blocks, legos, etc as a kid where you can be all kinds of creative. If she says yes then go to Step 3.
Step 3: Buy two copies of Minecraft and see how she likes it. You can setup a private server between your laptops and either be creative together and have fun or survive together and have fun. Either way the key point is having fun together and I chose Minecraft because it can be pretty basic yet very engaging at the same time.
Note: If she doesn't like computer games, invest in a deck of cards or something. UNO was always a good game.
~~ Behold the flying cow with a rail gun! ~~
Just grab some D&D books and start a campaign. She'll probably be turned off of it at first, but if she gets into it she'll love it. I recently got my fiance into WoW (i started her off with an easy game) and now she plays D&D with us, and she's a lvl 12 warrior. Its simple to learn, and can only be as complex as you let it. She keeps the party going as the tank too, and she loves it! Keep in mind this is a woman who has never played games other than Mahjongg or Facebook games.
Minecraft can for sure be played as a family!
Its creative,
its open ended,
there is danger and intrigue
we just bought a 4th copy!
-
Here's my story... I met my wife after I'd given up hope on ever forming a real relationship with a woman. (I'm not gay so men aren't an option) I introduced her to wow thinking hey this is something fun we can do together.
That worked out pretty well... we got to know each other, then we started hanging out. We'd play wow when we were apart. Then we moved in together. Neither of us had a job but she had some money coming in, enough to live on if you're cheap. So we lived in her friend's basement. Played wow constantly for about a year.
We got an opportunity to care for an elderly relative of hers in another state. The pay was about three times what we were living on at the time. Since caring for an old man who's bed ridden doesn't take all your attention, we played more wow.
Here's the problem. She got sick of it. She realized it was too much of an addiction and that she wasn't able to enjoy the things she really loved, like reading. So she stopped playing. And now, whenever I play a video game, she's jealous. I had to stop wow. I had to stop playing almost all games. When I started playing League of Legends.. nope that had to go too. Whenever I played a game, it reminded her how much she wanted to play wow and that meant I was hurting her.
My advice to any man looking for a gamer wife. DON"T. Let your hobbies be your hobbies. Get your mancave time and leave your game sessions in there, with other people.
There are plenty of other things out there that you can share with someone... walking/hiking, movies and tv, or just plain talking.
Sure, but no one I know who is playing MMORPGs / WoW is playing for one or two hours per week. The people who are playing for an hour are gaming on their iPads.
Am I the only one thinking "wait, you played it on Win 95? Heathen!"
This may just be me, or a fluke, or whatever, but [...] I have a PC behind the flat screen in the den.
If CronoCloud and several other Slashdot users are to be believed, having a PC in the living room is itself a fluke.
What the heck is an "equal" marriage?
In a marriage with kids, an 'equal' marriage is one where the household / childcare responsibilities are shared reasonably equally between spouses. ...and it's usually the unequal ones that end in divorce.
If the wife is the one reading bedtime stories, taking the kids to swimming lessons, doing all the laundry and on and on while the husband is playing golf all day or gaming all weekend in the basement things get pretty unhappy pretty quickly...
If the marriage lacks a wife, a nanny must be hired. Video game preference and cup size can be selected.
Find a game that fits or is related to one of her real life interests. My wife likes to play cards socially so
it was very easy to get her into a virtual casino. We'd sit and play texas hold'em for hours.
I've tried to get my better half into MMOs; going as far as to create for her what I though would be her ideal hunk. While she was fine with ogling the avatar, she didn't want to play with him much. Wasted character slot.
Thank goodness my wife abhors FB and Zynga games. So much so that she has un-friended people for refusing to quit sending game requests. Stay away from the time wasters.
Why can't we go back to using jumpers to configure slot adapter cards? Why? I say!
Just because you're obsessed with gaming doesn't mean there's a magic bullet to convince your spouse to care about it, too. Let's say she cares about ... I dunno ... shopping for shoes. (I mention an interest that was an obsession with a recent serious girlfriend of mine.) Just because she cares about shopping for shoes, does that mean there's any way under the sun that she could get YOU to share her enthusiasm for shoes? The chances are virtually nil. Accept that she doesn't like gaming and has no interest in doing it. And when you make decisions about what to do with your time, remember that if you choose to invest a tremendous amount of time in something that becomes an obsession (for many), you might be laying the foundation for drifting away into separate worlds and losing contact with each other. I've seen marriages destroyed because people made bad decisions about such things. If you can be a casual gamer and not spend much time on it, that shouldn't be a problem. But if you're as obsessed as many gamers I know, it's going to blow up your marriage in the long run — just as any solo obsession from either partner is likely to do the same. Unless, of course, both partners want to settle in to an arrangement where they don't know each other any more and they just happen to live in the same house.
Most genres work pretty well with an hour or two a week, especially say multiplayer FPS where matches don't last that long. The ones that I've had more trouble with were ones with complicated plots that are hard to keep track of in small bits, ones that have crappy save systems, or a few strategy games that can't really be interupted and involve long games. My wife and I even played WoW for a while, although it was more than an hour a week, but was not much more than 3-4 hours most weeks. Even if most people invest large amounts of time into such games, there are often quite a few options for those that don't want to (and have the self-control not to).
When my wife was going through chemo she really couldn't move from the couch. I picked up WoW because I hadn't played anything similar since a MUD years and years prior and it was the only one I could play on my MBP. I sat on the couch playing it on my laptop and she sat next to me, watching, helping and having a good time. After she got better, she had enjoyed watching me play so she opened an account and since then we've played together. That was around eight years ago (although we took a break playing for a couple of years). That got her into other games, like the Mario ones on the Wii.
Bark less. Wag more.
Gaming is a special category for several reasons. Far more people enjoy listening to music or watching movies than playing video games, or at least video games deeper than free SWF games on Newgrounds/Kongregate and 99 cent iPhone/iPad games. This means far more people are likely to buy the equipment than for playing such games. People may have bought a TV for sports, news, or political talk shows, and the leap from watching those to watching scripted series and movies is small. I can't think of any counterpart in gaming to a TV channel's "lead-out" after a television event anticipated to have extremely high ratings. Furthermore, it takes a lot more esoteric knowledge to create even the simplest video game than to create simple music or to shoot and edit a short film, so there isn't as much chance that one will discover gaming as a medium through appreciating (or at least pretending to appreciate) the "refrigerator quality" work that a family member has created.
Yes I'm a wife of a /. Geek... I'll prove it.. Ponies YAY!! Unicorns YAY!!! I 3 lolcats :-D ok so what I'm about to tell you will save your marriage so listen up! I have always dated geeks and tried to get into the gaming thing with them. At a young age I was scarred playing original Mario bros at a friends house. Stupid chompin flower! The theme song still haunts me. My next foray into the gaming world with my first BF was somekind of first person shooter game where I got stuck in a corner and shot anything that moved. My team mates quickly killed me. So video games to me were frustrating and depressing cuz I would die within the first 5 mins. The miracle game which changed my outlook on video games... Legos Star Wars!!! Me and hubby can play for hours and I have a great time. Mostly I collect coins while he fights the bad guys and if I do have to fight I can randomly punch buttons and mostly make it out alive. Also I can die and immediately get resurrected! And I make cute noises when I die so it's kinda fun jumping off cliffs :-D the cantina is a great place to practice blowing up stuff and getting coins without anyone shooting at me. When we get to a really hard part and I die a lot it's easy to back out of the game and let the computer take my player till the first player gets through and then I can join back in. All the Legos games are a blast but I think Star Wars the original is easiest. I would say start your wife on this game and just tell her you wanna play for a half hour (same as a sitcom) I'm pretty sure she will want to keep playing after that. :)
(Guest post by CODiNEs wife *I* am not a girl)
Cwm, fjord-bank glyphs vext quiz
I'm married, have kids, living in foreign land (but I'm not american). So now that that's out of the way, honestly you can't "get" her to like gaming. What you can do is introduce her to it, and if she likes it she likes it, if she doesn't she doesn't. If she's not open to it in the first place then don't push it. When you said "Do any other Slashdotters struggle getting their spouse to game with them?" that sent a bunch of warning bells off in head. There should be no struggle, I hope you aren't making one. You can't make anyone like anything.
My wife wasn't much of a "video gamer" and she still isn't, however she liked card games, so I introduced her to M:TG, that's now one of our "things", Cappuccino and Magic. She likes board games so we play those together, but I introduced her to a Hero Quest style game (Descent: Journey to the Underdark), and she loved it. She thought the pieces looked too bland though and I told her it's that way on purpose so you can paint them. She likes painting and her eyes lit up "You can paint these?". So of course I introduced her to war hammer figures and paints and she's going to town painting them (while she's doing her hobbies is when I get my computer gaming fix in, we don't like the same games there at all ;).
These things did translate over to her playing similar games on her iPad, she did that on her own. We'll play some of the board games now on our iPads (easier than setting up the board :P)
Maybe this helps you, maybe it doesn't. But don't go forcing you wife to play a game if she doesn't want to. Let her come to it on her own. But also make sure you get some time for your hobbies as well (like video games), a couple of hours a week of "me time" isn't unreasonable in the slightest even with all the responsibilities of being a father and being married. By doing it she might even catch a glimpse of you doing something awesome in the game and it might pique her interest ;) (Skyrim for my wife)
Even if she is 200 pounds overweight these games are fun. Get a Kinect and 2 ddr dance pads. Hopefully you don't know this game very well yet. When she sees you miserably failing she'll give it a try. I haven't played "Just Dance" but I have tons of DDR experience and this is a great game for men and women. It's great exercise and great fun. This is a good way to get into gaming and into the habit of turning on the xbox when bored. If you advance faster than her it's okay as you can play at different levels at the same time on the same song.
Reverse the role and get into what SHE likes to do. Just imagine that SHE posted a similar question on some forum. And have you even asked her?
Yes, a good game is more entertaining then a good movie. But a good meal is even better.
If you want to trick your spouse into games and she does not like computer games, start with non-computer games as a stepping stone game. Scrabble or chess.
But first start talking to her and let her never know that YOU rather asked the question to complete strangers then talking to you. If she finds out, start thinking of visiting rights to your kids, because she might be wanting to leave you.
Talk to her. Or perhaps even more important: listen to her. She will tell you.
Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
There are three stages to this problem.
The first, and most significant, is getting over the pre-conceived notions. You saw this above with pithy responses such as "you don't" and "why not do something active?" You need to communicate to your SO that gaming is something you enjoy and it's a part of you; you're not going to bow to societal notions that you shouldn't be a gamer, that you should have given it up when you "grew up" or that other activities (like site seeing) are "better" and thus more deserving of your time. You game, it's ok that you game, and if she is going to make you feel loved and accepted, she needs accept the truth that you really do like to game and that it's ok that you like to game.
The second step is her deciding that she wants to be a part of that. This also involves communication - you need to communicate that you really value time with her and since some of your time is going to be spent gaming, you'd like her to play with you. This is her decision to make and yours to present to her. "I'm going to do this; I'd like you to join me and if you don't, it might be an issue." It's no different than you refusing to go to a friend of her's wedding or refusing to eat meals with her; you're a couple, you need to partake in each other's likes and grow together or you WILL grow apart.
Finally comes the fun part - figuring out what she likes to play. All humans like games, of some sort. Whether it's LARPing, video games, board games, or sports, the human animal likes to play games. Spend some time showing her a variety of games and help her figuring out what kind of gaming she likes. Give her room to explore if she wants to do it alone, but make it a couple activity if you can.
My marriage went to crap when my wife stopped playing games with me. We played MMO's for a while, but eventually she decided she'd rather just watch TV which I found fantastically boring. I did it anyway, but then it became evident that I was willing to give more to the relationship than she was. From there it went - sad, angry, resentful and eventually we split. My new girl plays games, and she knew from the first day that I wasn't going to stop playing games just because "girls say you have to give that up in order to be in a relationship."
Relationships are hard and you're in a pickle - you've already given up something you enjoy and now you need to ask for it back. I hope your SO loves you enough to recognize your needs. I hope you're brave enough to clearly communicate them. The couple that plays together, stays together.
Good luck.
I'm no relationship expert (currently single, in fact) but it amazes me that a couple can go so far as getting married before figuring something like this out. If you haven't successfully introduced each other to your respective interests, or worked out that it just isn't going to happen and how to accommodate that (which is totally possible), why have you gone ahead and sworn yourselves to an exclusive lifelong relationship (and in this case, further committed by having children together)?
I know this answer isn't helpful to the person asking, and I hate those kinds of replies, but for the rest of you: This is what dating is for. It's a time to not only get to know each other, but to work out what your relationship is going to be like. If you're like most couples, you probably made sure you were sexually compatible before marrying (or at least talked about it), which is a good start, but if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, you kinda need to also figure out how you're going to spend the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of each day as well.
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
I've been married for 4 years now and have hardly touched my games since being married and starting having kids.
Sounds like he's already done that and now they need to reciprocate. My wife already played games here and there during the 2D days, but when 3D came along, the coordination of using one stick for moving and another for the camera was too much. She wanted to play them because the stories and scenarios were interesting, but she got frustrated in practice. I offered for her to give Mass Effect a chance, and that entire series was responsible for her developing that skill and now she enjoys plenty of games such as Ratchet & Clank, Prince of Persia, Infamous 2, Borderlands 2, and a host of others.
The key with Mass Effect was that it provides you with a way to stop time and evaluate the situation, and choose your targets while time is paused (yeah Fallout 3 does this but Mass Effect is much more accessible). There are characters with abilities that let them freeze enemies and keep them still while you shoot at them in realtime. As the series went on, it became more action focused, and her skills grew with that in an enjoyable way.
Skyrim was another big one later on, and you can develop stealth skills which work best with shooting a bow & arrow. This is great for someone that is getting used to using a twin stick layout, and the setting is engaging as well. Like I said, now she's able to play Borderlands 2 and enjoys it a lot, even co-op online.
"I've been a knitter for a long time (started on scarves back in the day) and enjoy pretty much any pattern..." etc., etc.
Hopefully I've conveyed my point.
Seriously, you won't fundamentally change her, and she won't fundamentally change you. If she's not interested in games then chances are that she's just not interested in that kind of thing. Do things together that you both like, both find others to do the things with you don't both like, and make sure you give each other opportunities for that.
First, I would use console games, being in front of a tv together feels like a social activity much more so than sitting behind two different computers. Get games of every genre and type, (party games, fps, strategy etc). I would start with the party games, as they often include many mini games. The idea is to find something she likes/enjoys, and then to explore the entire genre with her, and then pick another. Games that she has a natural aptitude for and that you generally suck at will be great. Also lots of games will balance the playing field out if you are doing poorly (Mario Kart!). And remember to keep it fun. If she's bored with the game don't insist you keep playing, just find another, like you said you have lots of experience, and just like you it will take her some time to refine her tastes! Also for the console experience, the PS3 is a great choice as online purchased games can be installed on more than one PS3. So you could have a two tv two ps3 setup in the living room (head to head FPS games, tetris, the new god of war). Happy gaming!
I got my ex wife into World of Warcraft.
She got in to an 18 year old virgin she met through the game. Yeah, yeah I know the BS about "we were having problems before" except if we were I was completely oblivious. It was a LOT of fun gaming with her until I found out she shipped him down and she was leaving me and the same weekend we had our emergency custody hearing she picked the kid up at the bus station right after leaving the courthouse (with my motion for custody being granted). I quit WoW for a couple years, then came back and it didn't feel like the same game.
Now I play MMOs and do it without any of the social aspects of the game. I never group, skip group quests or play them when I'm 3-4 levels above the level recommendation, etc). Don't know why. My fiancee doesn't like to game.
Not saying OP would have the same experience..but I know of four other marriages that were ruined by MMOs, and only one of those because of an addiction to the actual game.
Where the hell do you live? You can download all kinds of stuff from the net and if that does not work, you can ship all kinds of stuff to your place.
Stuff her morning coffee with some coke. Repeat. Do it only if she follows what you say.
I suggest starting out with board games. You can have several friends over so its more of a social event and than mix in the non-traditional board games like settlers of catan, Small World, Dominion, etc. At least we are gaming even if its not video games!
That'll teach 'er!
I'm a 36 year old woman who has always wanted to get into PC games, but always been put off by my partner being much better at them than I am. I loved The Testament of Sherlock Holmes. You don't have to be very good at steering him around and you don't need fast reactions.
Star Wars the Old Republic has gone free to play recently and the IP is an easy sell. A lot of women where interested in the game before and during the game launch. Star Wars has an appeal because it is familiar. The game is good and the story is excellent and the dialog wheels in the quests work well in a group. You can duo it together if you have the hardware. I would also suggest Magic the Gathering as another option. The Magic the gathering 2013 on steam has an excellent tutorial and you could quickly get up to speed and playing hands against each other.
Many a long talk since then I have had with the man in the moon; he had my confidence on the voyage. Joshua Slocum
It is so much easier for a woman to get a man gaming. All she has to do is play in the nude.
This is truly an article of journalistic quality. We should have more articles like this.
WTF is this shit really, askReddit?
Take your Reddit army and go somewhere else.
You can't just magically convince people they want to play computer games. Start by asking her what looks interesting. If she has an iPad/iPhone, what games doe she play there? Maybe you can extrapolate. If you get nothing, well, that's that.
FWIW, a girl I know has no interest in blowing things up, therefore no interest in FPSes. However, when presented with Portal as a puzzle game, she became interested, and now we can play Portal 2 co-op.
Hell, I'd rather find a fellow adult co-worker who games to blow off steam than wonder when that quiet shy guy in the corner cube is gonna suddenly snap one day and murder the entire office because he can't seem to find an outlet to deal with adult stress.
Oh, now where's your sense of adventure!?
You'd finally get to put to use the experience games have been training you for your whole life, and you're just going to spoil everything simply because you don't get to be the protagonist? For shame!
To think: If only you'd have maintained an uncomfortable association with the quiet fellow instead, your workplace niceties could have got you a role as one of those annoying white shirted wankers who pop out to keep folks with good reflexes from getting the high score.
No GG's for you, spoilsport.
Yes, that you should take up knitting with your spouse as another activity to complement the gaming as a way to occupy free time and provide entertainment. Best of all, with knitting, your hobby yields useful products (and yea, I know, to be fair, WoW gold does fetch a bit of a price itself...)!
Use 6 to 8 person games. There are a bunch you can find that last 2 to 4 hours. Because the people (hopefully your friends) are in one spot, it becomes a social experience, Don't use the standard board games (e.g. Monopoly, Clue, Risk, etc). There are a lot of more interesting ones for adults. Most games will give the time period on the box. Don't start with one that last more than 4 hours. I recommend: Settlers of Catan (needs a extensions set to go from 4 to 6 people), Cosmic Encounters, Acquire, Junta
"Not gonna happen."
I've tried forever. Women just don't see leading a squad in Planetside 2 as a worthy expenditure of their time.
And even if you got her to play a game, it's unlikely that you're going to get her to spend the 6 hours you want to spend playing, so you end up with the same conflict, only now it's "I played with you like you wanted, so now you have to go shopping with me and sit on the couch while I try on dresses."
Better to get her interested in something that occupies her time in 6-hour increments. Maybe a second job so you can build that proper gaming rig that you've been wanting.
I've been married over twenty years, and happily. It's important to realize that marriage is one long negotiation. And the best negotiations end in both parties winning.
And never, ever forget that your wife is smarter than you. Don't try to get anything over on her, because she'll see through you like a pair of prescription Gunnar Optiks PPK Onyx Amber Tint gaming glasses.
You are welcome on my lawn.
The submitter might as well be David Beckham asking how he can get Victoria Beckham to play soccer with him.
Look, the fact of the matter is, you've been playing video games most of your life, so there's few things that are true for you that are never going to be true for your wife:
1) You started when you were very young. Very young is when most people pick up new interests, and one of the things that makes that interest interesting in their adult lives is that it was part of their young lives. No matter what you do, video games are never going to be a part of your wife's young life.
2) You have tens of thousands of hours of experience. That means even when you encounter entirely new games, you get to apply that experience to the new game. Your wife will have no frame of reference. For example, let's say you tried to introduce her to WoW.... you know what a character level is. She has no idea. You probably played RPGs at some time in the early 90's (or a bit earlier or later depending on your age), she's done it... never.
3) When you're playing with her and your skill level is going to be much higher than hers is. EVEN if you're playing cooperatively, that's going to be frustrating. We're talking basic skills here, like even manipulating a controller, or precise mouse use. Doing activities with someone who is at an entirely different skill level than you - even the simple version of that activity - is rarely pleasureably.
4) Because of 3) your wife is going to have a bit of a learning curve before she can really enjoy a game. That might be OK, *IF* your wife wasn't married with kids. And I imagine at least one of you has a job. By the time she spends an hour or two working on that learning curve, it's going to be time to put the kids to bed or go to bed yourselves and she's just going to think the activity stinks if she never gets past the learning part to the fun part.
And, the laptop is the LAST place you should attempt this. There is nothing that requires a laptop to play that you should try and get a novice gamer interested in. If you can't play it on a phone, it's almost certainly too advanced.
The reality of this is, if you dated this girl before you got married (and I hope you did), and she didn't pick up an interest in video games during that exposure to you, it's not going to happen now.
Maybe you two can play words with friends together.
paintball
This is general advice to all men that unless your girlfriend / wife was a hardcore or even semi-hardcore gamer like you to begin with and likes to play FPS or MMORPGS or games like that then they are probably not interested no matter how much you try. I had tried to get my girlfriend into World of Warcraft in early 2011 and all she did was make a gnome mage, run around the starting zone, killing random enemies until she eventually managed to get herself killed several times.
Not once did she bother to actually follow the tutorials blizzard put in that even practically hand hold you to do quests, and how to equip and use gear and your class skills, never mind even leaving the starting zone to go to the next area to quest further.
Watching her run around with no gear at level 10 getting killed over and over just made me shake my head... and im 34 years old at the time, she was 37 and I have six level 85 characters, playing WoW since 2006 and raiding 5 days a week at the time.
At least I got the flyable rocket mount out of it from her account. And you know what kind of games she plays now? Very silly (IMHO) games like Fashion Story and Restaurant Story on her android phone. It just goes to show most women would rather play stupid games like that on a phone instead of actual games that require more thought and reflexes.
You must master your joystick like a fisherman masters bait! - Gimpy
clean the bathroom
As others have suggested, co-op games are certainly the way to make things interesting and fun, especially when there's going to be an obvious skill imbalance. Also try to pick things with a very shallow learning curve - if she hasn't played games before, just getting the coordination with a controller or mouse can be frustrating enough.
Games that have a low punishment for failure are going to be key when someone is first starting. This isn't quite the same as a shallow curve, but you want a game that is forgiving of your errors whilst you learn to play. Similarly something that isn't high pressure is probably good for early games. Left 4 dead, despite its excellence, probably isn't the best way to get into things (but will make an incredible game later if she gets into it!)
There are a couple of games I've found that can be really great fun in this way, and depending on /her/ tastes, you should find something:
First there's Trine (and its sequel). You can pick this up quite cheaply, and it's a lovely fairytale of a game, beautifully drawn, gently but excellently narrated. It's a 1-3 player co-op platformer/puzzler (I played it with my partner who loved it) and having more people massively increases the fun. It also doesn't do the usual gendered thing with games of having "chick-armor" or "all people are male" - the female character (one of the three players) is very nicely done. Set on an easy mode it's simple to learn, works excellently with controllers and doesn't require too much coordination for a newcomer. If you pick your timing right, you can get it for about five dollars on Steam.
Another great coop game is Civilization V. I know it's not the most hardcore in terms of strategy of the series, (and I'm presuming as a gamer you know the series) but its very easy to learn and playing as a team, either hot-seat or with two computers, is very satisfying. A more experienced player can provide cover the learner in terms of military protection etc, or just set the game on sufficiently easy mode whilst she learns the basics. In coop mode you can learn a section of the game at a time whilst your partner takes care of the rest, so she can focus on military strategy and world domination whilst you build the empire to fund it, or she can learn to manage cities to produce culture and science whilst you cover her borders. The turn based nature of the game makes it easy for teaching someone how to play, and it offers a ton of depth and replayability.
On the RPG front, Torchlight is marvelous, with its sequel being a great 2-player game. It's diablo-esque, but maintains the joys of D2. It can get a bit hectic on occasion, which is very frustrating, but with a co-op game again you can cover her.
On the FPS/strategy, Orcs Must Die (2) is a nice one, but does suffer horrendously from a couple of things - it has a nice learning curve, but can get overwhelming fast which leads to frustration. Also it has tongue-in-cheek cliched characters which at first will look rather like the female is supposed to be the stuff of adolescent fantasy. It's not as bad as many out there, but let's just say that her armor is less than optimal in some regions.
Hopefully that should be something to get you going. Ignore the people who say "Don't do it" - of course you should try out new hobbies together, and you may find an excellent way to have fun together. My partner and I game together often, and sometimes at long distance is a great way to spend time "together" when you're apart.
Have a friend of the girly gender who totally swore off gaming, making fun of it as an anti-social pastime, but has really gotten into D&D in the last couple years. She's a very social person and had moved to another city where she had no friends. When gaming arose as an opportunity for her to socialize and meet new people, she really took to it.
Your description of an unequal marriage sounds like one where the husband didn't want children in the first place and the wife wants help cleaning up after the puppy she insisted they buy.
You live overseas and you want to spend your free time playing video games? Are you enlisted? That's the only job I can think of where an English speaking american would find themselves in a foreign country and too exhausted or broke to enjoy the local culture with their wife in their free time. Video games are entertainment for the physically exhausted and impoverished.
If you're physically exhausted, you should prioritize learning a skill-set which doesn't require physical labor before you are replaced by a robot, or get in better shape so that you come home with enough energy to function on an elevated level.
If you're impoverished, you should prioritize learning a skill-set which requires creative mental function before you are replaced by a robot, or quit borrowing money & stop popping out children.
I can't think of the last time I saw a physically fit person who worked in a creative field playing video games that didn't have more rug-rats than they could afford, or too much debt. Employment and physical fitness are easily fixed. Debt and children are harder. Keep your eye on bankruptcy and your passport close.
Point and click adventure games (all the TellTale games, old Monkey Island games, Sam and Max, etc.) work really well for playing together. It doesn't matter if one person is better at them, because you're working together to solve the puzzles, and two heads really are better than one when it comes to these games.
"I'm too busy to research this and form an educated opinion, but I do have time to tell everyone my uninformed opinion."
No - I know dads who want 'heirs' and a legacy and all that BS but don't want to involved in what's required. Acceptable in 1900, not so much now.
1. Don't push too hard, or you'll build resistance, and she'll never want to play.
2. Pick a game that *she* would like, and *you* play it where she will likely watch.
- Get a console and hook it up to the TV.
- You can transfer to PC later if you want, but you need this on the main TV for now so that she watches.
- Don't be irritating with this. Do it when it's not going to cause any bad feelings.
- Make sure it's a co-op game or else one where the two of you can take turns playing the single player.
- You don't want the idea of you vs. her to enter her head.
3. When she's watching, and seems halfway interested, casually ask her if she would like to play with you (co-op) or take a turn (single player)
- Repeat, but not too often or too forcefully, until she gives it a shot.
- By repeat, I don't mean ask multiple times during the same gaming session.
- I do mean try this on several different days, during different gaming sessions with at least a day or two between each session.
- Don't ask this question the first few times she's watching.
- You want to establish the pattern of her watching before you ask.
- If she says, "I don't like video games", then say "How do you know if you don't give it a chance? I think you'd really like this one.", but don't push more than that.
4. When she agrees to give it a shot (Be patient with this! If she agrees begrudgingly, then you've already lost!), then make sure that she has as good a time playing as possible. ...
- Don't expect her to play for long.
- Bring her a snack or something.
- Have fun with her!
- If it's a single player game, then
- keep her company while she plays
- don't backseat drive
- give playing advice only when *she* wants it and give it in a helpful and friendly way.
- If co-op, play at her pace, and don't be bossy. Remember, this is all about her having as good a time as possible.
- When she start's getting bored, suggest that the two of you do something you know she would like to do.
- Don't wait for her to say that she's bored. Do this as soon as you notice her attention wandering.
- If she agrees, then do it with her, and make sure she has a good time.
- If not, then do something that would earn you husband points like cleaning the house, etc.
5. Repeat steps 2 through 4 as needed.
The idea it to create an environment where her interest in and enjoyment of video games is encouraged and can easily grow. Force or negativity should never be applied, only encouragement and rewards.
My wife grew up playing card, video, and board games so it wasn't an uphill battle to get her to play video games, it just took a few specific ones. I can't get her interested in role playing games, the legit ones, like DnD 3.5, Rifts, or Traveller. Maybe that will come along when the kids are older and start playing with me. In our >10 years of marriage she's tried as many games as I could get her to play. Only one game in the first eight years got her hooked (Dungeon Seige I). The past two yeasr though it has changed primarily due to kids and multiplayer co-op with the four kids (all 10). The kids loved playing Minecraft so mommy started playing and got hooked. Now the wife enjoys Minecraft and Zero Gear (like Mario Kart for PC) with the family. I convinced her to try Civ V and now that's her favorite game. We've introduced Civ V to the 7 and 9 year old girls.
Turn based hgames are the key.
Was that a typo, or did you actually mean H games?
When I say this article, I turned to my wife and said "Hey, someone posted an Ask Slashdot asking 'How do I get my spouse to start gaming with me?'"
And, she just busted out laughing, saying that was the most ridiculous question she'd ever heard. The answer is, of course, "you don't."
If she's not a gamer, she's not a gamer. Don't try to change her.
Tell her, it starts playing the game, or it gets the hose again.
Maybe not. I have come to realize that some women buy into the post-feminist story that they are house slaves and they carry such a disproportionate amount of the effort to keep a home running. Those men just don't _understand_.
What I recommend to most men in this case is to divorce the woman. One of two things will happen.
You may discover all the shit she was putting up with as you have to deal with it yourself. Looks like she was right, dude - you sat around playing games while she cleaned the toilet? Clean the toilet after yourself for a while and you'll have a much healthier relationship next time.
Or...
You'll discover all the chauvinist slave work she was agonizing over was basically bullshit (i.e. she was "teaching" 180 days a year and "running the house" - you merely were bringing home the bacon 50-60 hours a week with 2 weeks of vacation, and, oh, looks like you were carrying your weight with the house and kids too). Doing the rest yourself is paradise compared to putting up with her lazy, greedy whining ass (and you notice the house is suddenly a lot cleaner without her, too) - so you may or may not bother hiring a maid or re-upping on childcare. Worked for me, YMMV.
and watching Oprah and sappy shows on the Hallmark channel.
Dude, if she's not a gamer, she's not a gamer, don't try to change people. My wife is cute and very smart (she's an MD), but never has been and never will be a gamer, it's not her thing. Find stuff you enjoy in common, and be sure to be strike a balance between your interests and hers.
Honestly... this is something you should have thought about before you got married.
Now it's a little too late.
Give up. She controls you now.
If you ever want your life back, though, you know what you have to do.
You can tell how powerful someone is by the magnitude of the crime they can commit and be able to get away with.
I've had a similar situation except for both me and my wife did like to play games before kids arrived. We wanted to limit our kids exposure before 2 to too much screen time and wound up taking a huge break from video games for almost 7 years. Since Christmas we have all been having a total blast playing Lego Lord of the Rings. It's a great 2 player puzzle game, tame enough for kids to watch and play. My daughter is amazed to see my wife and I working so well at something together and she's gone from being scared of Gollum to really wanting to play him most of the time. We tried several games before this and had a hard time ever getting into anything. We did enjoy playing the portal series together. I recommend a good co-operative puzzle game if that type interests you and her. Working together and trying to figure something out is a great way to get anyone engaged.
You have framed the problem all wrong and will therefore never succeed. Whether it is crochet or computer gaming, there is a way to satisfy what she wants. Even the wii has physical fitness. She perceives computer gaming to be something e.g. what kids do or do something e.g. waste time that you are not in tune with.
You may not want to know what she thinks of your gaming but if you truly want to game with her then you'll have to open that pandora's box.
Tripod - Gonna Make You Happy
Your taste in games is frankly,.... well it's what I'd expect guys to play, it's sports and MMO's for goodness sakes, while yes some girls play and love these games - the odds are WELL against you.
It's time evaluate yourself and your gaming future if you genuinely want your wife to get into it. My recommendation, which I hold in high regard no less! Is that you look at picking up a PS3 and actually just 'making' (letting?) her watch you play some vastly more story focused single player interesting games. Uncharted 1,2, 3 and Heavy Rain are absoloutely and utterly perfect examples of games which could at least convince a non gamer "hey,... golly.. maybe games aren't completely fucking stupid childish crap" because to be honest, that's what a lot of people STILL think about gaming.
Well you could consider letting her play for a bit on those games while you play. Pass her the controller for a bit while you grab a drink in the kitchen or go to the bathroom, or just say 'here you try'
As for the games you should play once you've got her interested? I can't recommend Pixel Junk Monsters enough, it's an incredible game, the demo is free and coop works on it - try it.
Finally as someone who has dated several non gamers, the simpler games often are the best at the start, Mario Kart, Mario Golf worked for a fun afternoon also.
You need to focus on a fun and easy experience to make it easy initially.
Do not even consider MMO's for a very long time and try subject matter which is likely to interest her, some sports games might be ok in coop (I don't know) but I imagine the brain would switch off the second you pull out a sports game in most cases.
Embrace storyline focused single player gaming in general, it's good for you.
I'm confused.
I'm afraid you'll probably have better luck bonding with the kids in this department :) My wife will play some games on Facebook. One we play together occasionally is poker. I can't get her to touch WoW....kids love it though. Guitar Hero is another one my wife will pick up sometimes. If you don't have a console, I'm sure you can pick up a PS2 pretty cheap these days.
Personal experience: I'm a long-time gamer, and I was trying to get my wife interested in Xbox or PC gaming. She steadfastly refused to get engaged... until we got a Kinect for the Xbox. Somehow, the motion control made it much more compelling for her than just twiddling joysticks. She got into the Kinect Adventures that ships with the unit, then Fruit Ninjas (maybe the best kinect implementation ever), Wreckateers, Motion Sports Adrenaline, etc. She still won't play FPS or MMOs, alas, but at least we now share the gaming hobby, if not exactly the same taste in games.
Most slashdotters appear to recommend to not even try. That it is a bad idea. Or that she is to tired to play. That he should try to match her interest.
What a load of crap!
I think in all intimate relationship, you should do everything to make it work. All relationships need a part of common interest, a part of uncommon interest and a part of I'll-try-to-see-if-I-like-it interest.
There are many women that play. That your wife do not play does not mean that she would not like to play. Maybe she never had a chance to get into it. I think that if he likes playing, he should try to introduce her to games. There are many games that people like to casually play. Singing or musical games are typically fun. Dancing games can be fun. Shoot everything on the screen can be fun (my mom got addicted to "link crossbow training").
Maybe she won't like it. Fine. Then he should stop pushing and make it the thing he likes to do by himself. But maybe she will like it and they'll be able to do that from time to time.
In some ways, Mario Kart is like a platformer because some tracks require the player to make jumps over chasms in order to avoid having to be towed back on the road and losing several positions. And in some ways, Super Mario Bros. is a racing game.
Your anecdotal evidence for your neat categorizing is interesting, but not representative.
People need time to de-stress and relax, sometimes away from their significant others. If the significant others care for each other, they'll make time by sharing those duties so everyone gets their recharge time, their couples only time, and whole family time, in addition to what's needed for work and other extra curricular kid activities. How the people choose to spend that time, be it computer games, reading, some hobby, or whatever, should be up to them even if it breaks your categories.
If the female married to the male gamer has time to do her own things, then the male gamer should too in an "equal" marriage. Perhaps they're better at time management, and it's just outside your pool of available data.
Good lord, why would want to do that?! Do you want to stay married?~!
Something that additionally has a sense of humour might be more enticing than other things.
Like a lot of other posters have said already though, you may just have to accept that gaming as YOU know it just isn't something she enjoys.
My wife of 5-6yrs or so is definitely not a gamer, although I can get her to play some games.
She cant stand WoW or anything that requires above average time commitment, with kids and what not its hard enough to find time for myself let alone both parents to play.
Games she Loves on the Wii:
Raving Rabids
Deweys Adventure
Mushroom Men The Spore Wars
MarioKart
Meet the Robinsons
Games she loved on PS3:
God of War Series (watching, not playing)
Games she loves on PC:
Farmville
As you can see her taste in video games is severely stunted. Mostly reserved to poorly crafted movie renditions of adventure games. She seems to enjoy games that are 1 player, consist of running around and solving puzzles, require little strategy, and can be saved/stopped at any time.
That being said, I always enjoy finding a game she will play, even if it is 1 player, because she can play her game while i play mine and i don't get yelled at for spending too much time on my computer.
"Luck is a tag given by the mediocre to account for the accomplishments of genius." -Heinlein
You want to get her interested in gaming with you. Let's look at the root cause:
1) She begs, nags, harasses, pleads with you to get away from the computer, do something together, "spend more time with me", etc. You feel that getting her into gaming will bridge this gap, and let you continue on playing games together.
2) You watched some shitty movies, and have concluded that no movies in the history of cinema are worth watching. Or she only wants to watch chick-flicks. Or you can't agree on movies, so she watches The Notebook (again) and resents it the whole time, because you're busy playing a game.
3) She feels that she doesn't know you enough, wants to "meet you halfway", and has shown interest in playing something you play, rather than her typical Facebook games.
4) You want something for the both of you to do once your child(ren) is/are asleep, and the thought of reclaiming your juvenile adolescence by trouncing some n00b really butters your biscuit. It'd be great if you were a husband/wife team!
There's really only one thing to be said for all of these: you're doing it wrong.
You're in a new country. It has a history, a culture, a language. Go out and see and learn them, together. As a family.
You have a new family. It has a future, traditions, and time to be spent together. Don't waste it; spend it together. As a family.
You're wasting precious moments with people who don't give two shits about you, and avoiding precious moments with people who love you more than their own breath.
You're the man of the house. Act like it.
Unique games, that you both will be about equally good at, assuming neither of you played the game before. In other words: play in a game you haven't played very much, so you will not be appearing to have a great advantage or be the untouchable game-expert, so in fact, your spouse has a chance of being the better player at the game early, even if you do your best.
Things that resemble electronic versions of traditional games; such as Chess, Monopoly, Risk, board games. Turn-based games that are highly strategic, and require understanding of the rules, the specific game, or mathematics, to have an advantage.
These provide you less advantage, due to your experience with games that allow players to level high dexterity attained playing previous real-time/ shoot em up games to obtain an advantage.
It's certainly no fun playing a game you are relatively unfamiliar with against an expert player, who has been exposed to games of that sort for years.
So pick a genre you are less familiar with, or more uncomfortable with :)
"I'd love to get her interested in using to do co-op or combative games with me."
You are aware that she is a she right? I've known a couple girls who played shooters and combat games but they were the extremely rare exception. Most girls just aren't into games that are entirely driven by testosterone and predator/prey mentality. No idea why.
If you want to interest her in gaming you probably need to find more common ground so nothing that is about combat, owning, pvp, griefing, or of an otherwise in your face competitive nature. Slower action is usually better too. If it's an MMO then a more creative and social type of game is probably going to be appropriate.
The Sims is infamous for being chick bait.
Minecraft is also a great gender neutral game. You can play cooperatively. Although you are going to want to play on a non-pvp non-griefing server.
If the female married to the male gamer has time to do her own things, then the male gamer should too in an "equal" marriage.
Sure, but in my experience, in couples with young kids it's never 'equal' - The male takes his 'me' time, but the female never gets her equivalent time, or if she does she winds up spending it grocery shopping.
Anyone remembers Nibbles and Gorilla in MS-DOS basic? Being a kid and seeing the code of the game was like seeing magic I just couldn't believe. I remember playing Prince of Persia on my old yellow Hecules monitor, what days.
Minecraft!!! My husband is a programmer and has played various games over the years, but the only game I was ever addicted to was Tetris. We started playing Minecraft together and we love it. In fact we play with our four boys and have a family server. The six of us have Family Minecraft days (and yes, we also play outside) and those days are great fun for all of us. It's a great game for beginners and for different personality types. So many ways to play. We have discovered that one of our boys is a griefer by nature and like to blow up our homes, taunt and harass; one boy likes the mechanical side of things building with redstone, circuits, etc. I like to build and decorate and generally explore. Our 8 year old likes to farm and mine, and decorate, and our 5 year old likes to play with TNT and chase skeletons. I highly recommend it.
All I know is my children will employ your children, or maybe not.
If she seems a little tired, it's because she's spending afternoons while you're at work, gaming with me.
If this were Usenet, I'd killfile the lot of you.
My SO wasn't into gaming at all until I intrigued her with adventure games where the context is realistic, a world, story and characters she can relate to (ie. no over-the-top fantasy/futuristic worlds), and an easy learning curve. Games where raw gamer skills aren't important, but where human soft-skills play a bigger role. We're both of us behind the same laptop, solving puzzles together, discussing what to do, about the characters, and so on.
A few games that fit the bill: Secret Files, LA Noire, Broken Sword 1/2, Phantasmagoria. I know it's a far cry from co-op FPS games, but it's a common digital playground we found and both enjoy.
I can talk only about us: we are both gamers for years - but still play different games. She is into everything that has to do with building (Anno series, settles etc) and such in MMO's (UO, EQ2, Salem etc.). He is into strategy and competitive games (Civ series, Alpha Centauri and others much less know but much more complex, Elder Scroll, Neverwinter etc.). ... just because you might interest your wife into computer games does not mean you'll play together. We tried this a few times. Husband outlevelled wife quickly in MMO's - drama. Husband attacked wifes cities in building offline games - drama. ;)
So
Grow up. This is the problem with "men" now. Put down the games and go do something with your hands in real life for crying out loud.
Do you realize that you have put your faith in stories told to you by (fallible) humans, and NOT in God?
I know you think you have faith in God, but everything you believe about God was delivered to you by humans. Unless you have had a direct conversation with God, of course. Well...have you?
There's practically no practiced skill that transfers to Go (Igo, Baduk, Weiqi). Most everyone starts off very weak and improves at a similar rate (not noticeably favouring the young, intelligent, or geeky). The game is thousands of years old (remaining virtually unchanged in this time) is rated very highly compared to other abstract strategy games (see boardgamegeek) and there are dozens of servers, many with thousands of players online at any one time. In Asia the game is taken very seriously; in S.Korea for example there are two tv channels dedicated to the game and hundreds of players who have dedicated their lives to studying the game.
It may not be exactly what you had in mind but if your wife just doesn't seem interested in the regular gaming this might be something you can both enjoy equally.
Maybe you two can play words with friends together.
Did you know they even have a version you can play in real life now? Games are finally growing out of cell phones and into the third dimension! It's a really exciting time to be a gamer, with these new and innovative products.
More seriously, try board games! My wife isn't much of a video gamer, but board games were a huge hit with her. Look at things like Agricola, Ticket to Ride, Pandemic, Carcassonne, and Settlers of Catan. They reward analytical thinking like video games do, so you won't be bored, I promise.
Start off with co-operative things with minimal computer interaction and work your way up to blowing each other up competitively. Maybe some emulators? Who hasn't played SMB all incarnations with two people?
Don't complain about syntax, grammar, or spelling. There is no.hell like input on android.
My wife and I are in a similar spot, living temporarily in an area far away from people we know. As such, we've found a few good 2-player board games to occupy us.
Lost Cities is excellent, Odin's Ravens is very good (if slightly childish), and we're just digging into Jaipur now which may be the best yet.
Having more sex with her, you dork...
I can't belive it. Am i the only one thinking of that old game for two (or more) players. Ok you can play it alone but it's pretty boring then.
Beeing good at it is very satisfying so it realy pays practicing. Much more than any computer game.
Btw. poor kids of yours: play with them in RL... but of course not that game.
Portal 2!
Most gamer girls I know really go for The Sims
It's a gateway game.
I hate to break it to you, but it's not elementary kids feeding the gaming industry to the tune of a billion dollars a year. Adults game
Yep, lots of adult children feeding the gaming industry and hanging out on the internet.
Here are a few suggestions that will help you improve your gender roleplay on the internet.
I'm a girl!!...YAY!!! I 3 lolcats :-D
If you think you have to say it, you're probably trying too hard. And lots of exclamations and emotes are feminine only in stereotypes.
Me and hubby
Hubby is a word women use with their friends, and gender roleplayers use on the internet.
Mostly I collect coins while he fights the bad guys and if I do have to fight I can randomly punch buttons and mostly make it out alive
If your knowledge of women is mostly hypothetical and stereotypical, you're not going to be able to convincingly roleplay them.
You need to know if the person you're planning on spending the rest of your life with, who you're planning on having kids with shares the same interests as you BEFORE you get married and have kids. If you're lucky and find a game she likes, great. Don't be surprised if you don't.
It's not fair to you to simply give up your hobby. It's not fair to her to expect her to pick up your hobby for your convenience.
You need to figure out what you like doing with your wife. Try board games, gardening, painting... there are many hobbies which will scratch that itch for you and which may appeal to your spouse as well.
(Or a Kinect, but a Wii is cheaper and doesn't have an XBox attached.)
You and your wife - probably average out at exactly the market the Wii was aimed at, and with whom it's achieved such success.
The big plus being: the two of you play together, standing up, in the same room. You talk/shout naturally as you play, which means it meets her 'social' criteria as well as your 'game' desire. The controller is very simple, and will minimise her learning curve.
If one of your kids walks in, you're not sitting hunched over a controller and absorbed in a screen - you can just look up naturally and invite them to join in. (My 2-year-old loves the Wii, we have to limit his playing time to 30 minutes a day.)
I think the first question to be asked is, How do I get a spouse?
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Because if not, then the question really becomes "How do I get my significant other to like the things that I like?"
And it doesn't take a genius to figure out what road that question leads down.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
I have no idea I have been trying for a couple of decades but if you find the answer let me know.
Chris Sheppard
Hello, Thought you would like to meet me. I am a 32 year old married male with a 2.5yr old daughter and another daughter on the way. My wife is currently a stay at home mum but until my daughter was born she worked along side me in building our (and I do stress OUR) business. She was successful to the point that she was nominated for national awards for business and commerce. When someone comes from a successful, professional, background and has worked with you at exactly the same level what do you think the chances are that home things aren't evenly split? While I might go into an office to work, she works by raising our children. When I am not in the office the expectation is that tasks are split. Despite this I find time to game. Not as much as I would like to, but I don't get to ride my motorcycle as much as I want either. Those are the breaks. You simply have to manage your time and make sure you get things done efficiently. If you can you can always find time to do things that are important to you. To the OP. When I met my wife she was a total non gamer outside of owning but not playing a ps2. We started by playing Bubble Bobble with a drink being consumed by the loser.... Then I talked to her to find out what sort of thing she thought she might be interested in playing. From that she started playing Baldurs Gate. And here is where I learnt the key. I've been a gamer since I was about 6. Games come naturally to me. To her comments like, my god why did they do that it's stupid, and I don't get it, are common. So I learnt to spend a couple of hours just sitting next to her while she learns the particular mechanics of a game. First baldur's gate, then Civ 4. For a long time that was it. She would play them over and over and over and over again. She was damn good at Civ. Now she is playing Bioshock, her first ever FPS. To be really really nice she has a handle on the controls (mouse look and key move) which is definitely a bit better than my 2 year old... But she enjoys it. As long as I sit with her and help her. She can only do about 20 minutes though before her heart rate is over 400bpm and she is freaked out. But it's fun sitting there watching her try and shoot something. :P
However a game she is playing LOADs and fits with having a kid is Hero Academy. She has that running 24/7 in the background of her PC. She is even playing against random people on the internet for the first time. It's turn based, there is no time pressure and she likes beating people.
So I would say, sit down with your wife. Ask her what type of things she thinks would interest her. Find the SIMPLEST game that matches that and then sit next to her and walk her through it. And make it fun. Try a side bet or something.
Try Torchlight II, it's an RPG-lite game that can be played co-op. Let her lead, and never play ahead without her. My wife (a non-gamer) and I are playing it now, and she is liking it (although a little too fond of fishing...)
I work in an Engineering office. Gaming has always occupied too large a slice of my life. The thousands of hours (/PLAYED) I have spent on wow could have taught me 3 new languages to the fluent level, become a master pianist, or ... see endless list of achievements. It wasn't until I was stuck on a minesite 24/7 working 12+ hour shifts with no internet outside of work hours that I broke my lifelong addiction. I swapped games for a gym routine and regular cardio exercise and my life and relationship has been better ever since. I do still dabble in casual games, however I no longer feel the need to get my partner to game, nor game for more than 4 hours a week. Its funny how much time I freed up without games, you have to be more organised to alleviate boredom, my house is far cleaner and more organised and I have become far more extroverted. I go scuba diving, mountain biking and rock climbing. These activities are far more interesting to my partner than playing an MMO together.
My fiancee saw a couple of us playing Left4Dead just after we started dating and wanted in (zombie fan).
Now she's got a gaming laptop and her stats on Killing Floor are catching up on me.
She's a rare case, that she had other interests that appear to mesh well with gaming (sci-fi fan, avid reader, figure skater.. oh wait..) plus works an intellectual job (Physician) and so likes to "un-brain" on the weekend.
I've tried at various times in the past with ex-girlfriends to get them into gaming with zero success. It seems to be a very individual thing.
Try finding a middle-ground to start with, be it walking, rock-climbing, reading, movies, whatever.. and work from there.
Remember that you catch more flies with honey. DON'T put any pressure on them to "stick with it for one more level".
Good Luck...
everyone loves cute little sackboy and plus most of the game is just nonsense anyways have fun :)
accessing someones open account on facebook is not hacking
My husband hates computers (and all things electronic). I knew this. I married him anyway.
So he spends his spare tinkering with motorbikes, and I spend my spare time gaming or watching anime etc.
The chances of my engaging him in considered debate about whether Australia should have a R18+ classification, and how it should be implemented, are effectively nil.
But that's fine, we don't have to do everything together, and it's nice to have separate interests.
And the kids are always happy to play games with me.
Try Minecraft together. My husband and I play. You work together as a team and it is losely structured, so your wife is bound will find something that she likes to do.
I got my wife to play wow with me as a way too spend time with each other. After the learning curve she was hooked. This was of course early on in our relationship and we rarely have free time with the kids and jobs now. Good luck with bringing that up after she already thinks she is 'free' of that trouble.
Whatever you do, if want your marriage to last, do NOT play Mario Party or Super Smash Bros games with her.
Keep those games for friends you don't care very much about.
And remember, doing twice as much work as your father does not equal doing the same amount of housework and childcare as your wife. If you want her to game, try actually doing the same amount of work as she does. Then maybe she'll have enough energy for it.
Proof that it's certainly not just men that are sexist pigs. "Your work doesn't matter even if you do twice as much because you're a man". Women like you are part of the problem, not the solution.
More fucking, less gaming... If you want to play games with her, invite her to a game of hide the sausage. You are sad.
What a load of crap. That relationship is unbalanced because it's unbalanced. It has nothing to do with whether kids are there or not. That relationship has always been unbalanced. If a relationship is balanced before kids it will remain balanced after. My wife gets her time, I get mine. Do we both wish for more? Absolutely. But we both get our time. If mine is fragging people and hers is watching another episode of Jersey Shore what difference does it make?
Put a gamepad in her inflatable hands.
No male I know that has younger kids and an 'equal' marriage has time for video games.
I've been playing Mario Kart and Wii Sports Swordplay with my son starting at around age 2. I'd not say I'm a hardcore or regular gamer....but we spend time as a family playing and the kids love it. Sometimes weeks we have to switch it off so they'll do other things...other weeks they won't touch it.
I do help at bath and shower time, change nappies etc. ....and I do more washing and dishes that she does. But yes my wife does more of the work. Then again she's home full time while I work part time.
Gross generalisations based on your tiny social sphere are ignorant.
Pick a simple game, that's cooperative, that requires logic and rewards skill. Something with an inherently easy and fun game mechanic. Women don't seem to enjoy "Grinding experience", leveling up, technology trees, and games that require long gaming intervals. Women gamers tend to fall into the casual gaming space, where the game mechanics are obvious and the time investment per gaming session is relatively short. Games in this space include; Mario party, draw something, Hasbro's "family game night" series, and Kinect Adventures. For the more adventurous try something like Minecraft and Theme Hospital. The answer you might find is that women do like games, but probably not the games you like. You'll likely have a harder time finding a game that you also like, than one she does.
What the fuck dude? You don't help your missus with housework and kids?
No wonder she doesn't want to spend any other time doing what YOU want her to do!
That will get her gaming.
I know many couples who game and don't have all these problems. I have no idea what they're doing that makes these strange problems. We play games together, we play games separately, both are fun. Of course, we've both been gamers all along.
Usually, my thought is, if someone isn't into a particular hobby, there's a pretty limited benefit to trying to draw them in; if you do want to, though, try to find cooperative or social activities that aren't overwhelmingly complicated at first. Maybe.
My blog: http://www.seebs.net/log/ --- My iPhone/iPad app: http://www.seebs.net/seebsfrac/
Well, you know.
This would be a heck of a lot more effective at communicating your point, except that my spouse got all excited about knitting and has been nudging me to try it, and...
Actually it's sorta cool.
My blog: http://www.seebs.net/log/ --- My iPhone/iPad app: http://www.seebs.net/seebsfrac/
This is easy to do. i myself being a female gamer and dating a few people who don't play, i have had no problems trying to sell the game and get them in with me. few simple rule's for this to work.
1. Let her win every now and then, without her realizing. :).
2. Don't put her down too much, and let her put you down a bit.
3. Sell it to her, let her know that it's fun and it's a good way to have some good fun quality time together, Make her believe it's a good idea, If you got her to marry you, you can get her to play a game...
4. show her how to play, but don't make her feel like an idiot. Just give her tips on what to do if she ask's. And just play any game. Doesn't matter what game. make it kinda like WoW, then gradually get her into more violent intense game's after... Good luck
Make sure to play a game where she can buy add-ons using her credit card, do on-line shopping, and dress up figures like Miis or something.
Limbo. It's not multiplayer, but you could try to solve it together. Your experience wouldn't be of so much help, and it's beautiful. :)
Rayman vs the raving rabbids on wii. Lots of minigames. And the rabbits are funny.
Dota, played cooperatively against AI. Of course it wont be as fun as competitively against humans, but you would probably still like it for some time if you liked wow, and she can discover the concepts of leveling a character and choosing skills without too much pressure if you're awesome enough to win the games by yourself. Example: you two against three easy AIs, you play as wisp and try to protect her, it would be very romantic
Pang. You said you enjoy relics, right?
The parent posts have put up some nice points. However.
Gaming with someone/somemany is much more of a social activity than watching a movie or listening to music. ... And So On. I don't play even half of what she does.
My GF is nowadays an avid gamer, and plays a lot more than me. Both number of games and time spent gaming.
That was not always the case.
Her previous boyfriend (one of my pals. yes inbreeding.) started introducing her to board games in highly social situations. Then when I started dating her we continued playing board games with the others, but also started playing the old lucasarts adventure/puzzlegames together, usually instead of movies. After that I couldn't keep up. She ran through all the myst/riven/... stuff, kept chewing through baldur's gate/morrowind, blasted Half-Life/thief,
1) Social setting
2) Nice people (not too hard core competetive / sore losers)
3) Interesting games
4) Romantic evening with DotT
=> Nice stable long term relationship
The main thing: Go find a _smart_ girl who is also nice, sociable, and at least somewhat attractive (in your eyes).
Find a _hot_ girl and usually the other aspects are often lacking, leading to later disappointment and break up.
Happily together now for over 10 years.
We're both physicists. Finding nice girls at high end university programs is a bit challenging, but _very_ worthwile.
I'm dead serious here. Some really bizarre stuff from Japan actually is the best gaming choice in
this particular instance. Let's look at the facts:
"married for 4 years now ... starting having kids ... Is there a game ... worth spending a lot of time on?"
Since the game "Raising the Kids" isn't the very first game that came to your mind, but the game
"Convince wife to spend less time raising her children and more time gaming with me" is, it's obvious
that your marriage is headed for a messy divorce. Thus, the best course of action is to just go all-in
so your wife can figure out what a useless sack of childlike meat you are as quickly as possible,
pack up the the kids, and move on with her life. Pick up a bunch of weird Tentacle Rape Hentai
Japanese Enema Girlfriend Anime games and go on at great length about how the two of you playing
these games together is more important to you than, say, reading to your kids. Since what you want
to do is play games, this really will work out best for everyone in the long run. Well, except for the kids.
Good luck!
Sort of, except knitting is far more obscure a hobby than gaming. Even more, imagine if they already knitted every night and his question was "We've run out of patterns to knit. I know movies can provide a lot of entertainment. What are some good ways I can get my wife into watching films?"
You probably wouldn't chide him for trying to force his wife into an unreasonable hobby.
I shit you not, this game is great, and has "costume customization bollocks" I managed to get my Yoga Teacher GF gaming on it... before we broke up
So I'm the exception then ? Along with every married male colleague I ever had in a little under ten years of career in IT ? That or, more probably, you are just full of s_.
Maybe we deserve this world ?
In my case, it wasn't too hard. She had grown up around consoles etc., and was happy to upgrade to some harder stuff.
But... I have successfully converted quite a few of my non-gamer friends into social gamers (male and female). A few points:
Anti-gamers fall into two categories:
(A) they think it's infantile and can't see how it is anything other than brain rotting
(B) they simply don't see (or can't imagine) sufficient return on investment for sunk effort
(A)'s can easily be converted if they have a few ounces of respect for you. I mean, you aren't infantile, so it doesn't make sense for them to dismiss something you do as an infantile or immature interest. My efforts in this area usually relate to finding the things that appeal to them on a general level (e.g., high-level strategy, adrenaline and energetic). One friend liked political discourse... so I play games that have an emphasis on social leadership types (e.g., guilds, small teams). Another friend is competitive, so its score-boards all the way. My spouse and I do co-op games only (Diablo III, Borderlands 2)... she likes the story line, and doesn't like competing with me (for similar reasons as you mentioned).
(B)'s, however, should generally be left to their rather rational choice. You can tell a (B) category because she doesn't think games are just for kids and boring... she just simply chooses to not spend her time doing that type of thing. In which case, good on her... she is exercising the same privilege you have in not learning to :)
It helps if she "wants" to participate. Also, a MMORPG with strong female characters and a good user community.
Codifex Maximus ~ In search of... a shorter sig.
As an alternative, you could try to take an interest together in something entirely new. Who knows what beautiful and enriching experiences that would give you?
You say, that there is not much entertainment (from the US, I guess) available to you in that magical country overseas. Where every you are, the best and greatest adventure is getting out of you house/flat/igloo/hut/tent and communicate with the locals. If you are not able to speak their language, try to learn it. It is much more appealing to interact with real people in real contexts, than to meet digital fellows in a digital tavern, drinking digital beer. You might get your wife to do that.
Your kids don't sleep? I have a fulltime job, 3 kids and share all the housework with my wife. We hired someone for cleaning, not because we're rich but because we feel the money is well spent as it gives us both some time every week to relax.
My kids are in bed by 20:00 at night so I can easily spend one or two nights a week raiding. My wife watches the shows on tv that i don't like during the same time (Hint to OP: she doesn't make me watch those...). Other nights are divided between time together and housework / administration / work / doing stuff with family etc.
Thank you to those that gave entry game suggestions and other ideas for nightly entertainment. I, perhaps more so than my husband, am bored with our current entertainment options and am seeking MORE interaction with my husband, in a way that vegging out in front of the TV does not provide. I believe he feels the same, so made this thoughtful inquiry WITH my knowledge. As for my husband, in all my precious years on this earth I have yet to meet his equal as a husband, father, and overall person. He has romanced me from day one and has not quit, even as life has become more chaotic in our current phase of parents to babies. He makes consistent sacrifices for MY happiness, more so than I do for him. He gave up gaming, nearly completely the day we got married, and absolutely completely the day my first child was born. He is the most involved father I have ever known, from changing cloth diapers, washing them, playing babies and pretend kitchen, feeding the kids, bathing them, whatever is necessary. We share responsibilities. We are at a place in life where our children are asleep for the night at 7:30pm, leaving a few hours for our relaxation and entertainment, just the two of us. For those of you who don't have that time, I am sorry it hasn't worked that way for you. We are choosing to cherish these moments - TOGETHER. As for culture and getting to know the country, we are daily immersed with Mozambicans, have learned Portuguese fluently so that we can join them in in their beautiful country, as well as have chosen to birth our children right here and give them the opportunity and right to be Mozambicans citizens. Mozambique is more our home than any other place in this world. We have no possessions anywhere else. We LIVE here, not just on job assignment for a few years. NOT typical ex-pats. So, with all respect, you speak from assumption and ignorance. As for being active, we have a rock wall in our living room that even my eldest child and I enjoy. That should say enough, but on top of that, we have 3 surf boards hanging in our guest room, my children who are under 2, love the beach, the park, ice cream shops, and most of all playing the backyard with their father they adore and their ginormous slobbery dog. As for sex, while it is none of your business, it is a-maz-ing. (As 3 kids under 3 may prove.) And even if we did have sex every single night, do you really expect it to take up our whole evening, every evening? If you think that, you live in some alternate fantasy world. Again, thank you the genuine suggestions, we are taking them into consideration.
I had this "problem" when I first got married. I solved it by finding a game that I thought she' d enjoy. It turned out to be warcraft III and later WoW. Now, I barely see her on the weekend because she's in a virtual world rather than with me. She's gotten a little better about spending time with me, but things can be very one sided with regards to housework, etc.
Posting AC because she reads slashdot too. (patches take time right?)
It's way too much fun, there isn't really a big question of skill (aside from avoid falling/lava/mobs), and at least in the case of my wife she has strengths in the game that I don't and vice versa. It's highly dynamic and as deep or shallow as you want it to be. Cannot recommend it enough as a fun game for everyone.
DONT! Trust me.
I got my wife into games, started with Donkey Konga / Guitar Hero, moved to Katamari, Waverace Blue Storm, then we started with Super Mario Bros. Wii, Mario Party, and now she's into BF3. Trust me, it's fun sometimes, but you can't just pick up a game and go at your whim anymore.
Want to start some COD or BF? Sorry, she's tired and wants to go to bed, can't level too far past her.
Want to work on the latest RPG? Sorry, she needs to be there to see what happens (Paper Mario took forever because of this, don't get me started on kingdom hearts).
Want to just play a simple single player platformer? She would like to watch.
Want to pick up a new game? Sorry, she has to be there to watch it start up, make sure she doesn't miss anything.
And the good laptop will always be hers. ALWAYS!
It sounds fun to have a spouse that games with you, but there are serious drawbacks. Consider them before going on.
It's like teaching your spouse sports. If you do, and they become interested in them, don't complain when you don't get alone time enjoying your activity.
modern - best MMO out atm. active player base. lots of male & female players....
now actually getting your women to get in the game w/ you.. let me know how that goes!
I'm about to try w/ mine by building her a rig well capable of playing GW2 or any other game. If she does not play.. ... i will make use of the cpu power
...having children means it's time to grow up and become a man, and time to put aside juvenile video game playing. Having a hobby is all fine and dandy, but your family is supposed to come first in your life now.
Video gaming can far too easily become a time-wasting, mind-rotting addiction that far too many people are not capable of the willpower to do it only in healthy moderation. More often than not, it becomes an obsession that is psychologically unhealthy. I've seen it happen again and again. About one out of every 30 gamers that I've met or known can actually walk away from the video games without exhibiting signs of gamer's withdrawal... and that's pretty disturbing.
For some reason, D&D Heroes worked well for me and my wife.
She'd pick a sword wielding warrior type and charge anything that moved and I'd pick a mage to do support.
Both had fun. The warrior has lots of action and doesn't require fine tuned 'aim the arrow' motor skills like that of a ranger.
I've been looking for a modern variant for PS3 of this ever since, but the games with multiplayer seems to use
the second player more as a sidekick and less as a companion.
Fast, Soon, Correct. Pick 2.
What about single full time dad, raising a now 6 year old, while holding down a full time job, maintaining a household and even occasionally getting laid? Yes, fully functional adults can be game players too. Instead of watching American Idol or Dancing with the stars I might play an hour of Call of Duty, and after the kid is asleep, the dishes are done and a lady friend has left for the night. I can spend a couple hours unwinding playing boarderlands 2 or play a turn or two of Civ5 between chores. Sorry all your friends are dysfunctional ... not all of us are
unless there is some history where she has shown some intrest it probably isnt going to happen. I started mine with portal 2 coop since its more of puzzle than a game, i then encouraged her to check out some stuff in my stock of games of different types untill she started to hit on some stuff she liked then let her go from there, these days she likes the fallout/skyrim types most along with some of the diablo type stuff if playing it with me.
Sims seems to be a pretty good start off for alot of ladies as well.
Others have mentioned it, but the key is Co-op and a game that stresses cooperation to finish tasks over high stressed violence. My first recommendation when asked this question is the Wii Lego series (StarWars, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Batman, LOTR). They have cute cut-scenes, deaths aren't permanent, and you'll 'need' your partner's help. This is about 'us time' and if any games are going to let your wife feel like this is more about spending time together then it is about playing a video game it's these ones.
Gaming with someone/somemany is much more of a social activity than watching a movie or listening to music.
Even when "someone/somemany" is a stranger on the other side of the Internet? Because that's the way multiplayer has tended to go lately, rather than using a split or otherwise shared screen. I will grant though that perhaps the old Lucasarts games and other essentially turn-based adventures are more amenable to back-seat driving than a twitch game.
I'm female, and a bigtime console/pc gamer (I spend most of my time on steam games and MMO’s, but I have a strong appreciation for classic console gaming aka genesis, NES, SNES, etc.) However, it took me years to become an avid gamer, and I picked it up later than most gamers my age.
For me, it took having the chance to try things on my own and take my time learning skills that a lot of guys have had since they were little kids. Keep in mind that a lot of us girls get pushed away from video-games (I'm not trying to speak for every girl, of course, don’t want to generalize). I vividly recall being told by a number of guys my age that girls couldn't play NES games because they were too hard. Of course that was nonsense, but at a young age it stuck with me, and it took me years to shake off the notion that gaming was not an activity for girls.
One thing that absolutely does not work for me is when someone tries to push a game at me that they've been playing for years, and expect the learning curve be non-existent. I can pick up an rpg in a few minutes, but it would take me way longer to learn something like a new RPS, particularly since I'm a lefty and have to remap keys! I don’t think it would be particularly fun for your wife to try and pick up a skill on the fly that you are performing effortlessly. If this is something she has any interest in, you’re going to need to give her time to learn it without being frustrated by your skill level. This is my own personal experience, and I definitely can’t speak for everyone, but when I was starting to game, I much preferred to look at a game on my own before playing it alongside someone else.
As far as what to try, I’ve had a lot of luck starting new gamers off with MMO’s. Generally you have a lot more options as to how you play the game, meaning that it’s easier for a new gamer to try things out (as opposed to RTS or co-op/team based games where there are set, specific objectives, time limits, other people depending on you, etc.). There isn’t a lot of pressure on the player to pick things up super quickly, and a good MMO will teach the movement keys and whatnot. Also, character creation tends to be appealing to people who are a bit apprehensive about gaming. In fact, I have a friend who’s an avid and skilled MMO player who went through character creation 10-15 times before having the nerve to actually play a character for the first time.
Torchlight II/Diablo 3 are also decent choices, because the controls are simple and fairly limited. If she has trouble learning key-mappings that are standard for people with gaming experience, you could make her a cheat-sheet to hang up near the computer. If she seems frustrated by whatever you show her, try something easier and resist the urge to get frustrated with her lack of progress. Don’t tell her that it’s easy, because if she’s having trouble learning a game, that’s definitely not what she wants to hear, whether or not you find it easy. Plants vs. Zombies is a good choice if you want to start her off with something really simple that helps bolster her confidence as a gamer.
One final notion: rather than telling your wife stuff about the game that would entice someone who is already a gamer (epic graphics, great combat system, cool world, etc.), maybe try emphasizing that you want to spend more time with her, and since this is something you love, you would like to share it. Maybe you could even make a bargain that if she is willing to take some time and beat the learning curve on a game, you will try some activity of her choice.
A partnership is not some total melding of the two of you into one being.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
If, as other posters have said, it is a matter of finding a game you bother might enjoy; might I suggest minecraft.
It isn't as "competative" as some games and you can even use your unique strengths to act as a team to get the materials, design a great house; you've got the "redstone" electricals to design and play with and all sorts of free form gaming.
Just don't do what that other couple did, I think it was South Korea, but I could be wrong; and get so engrosed in the games that you forget your kids!!!
Wii. ...instead of violent solo games. I find them very boring too now.
Party games.
Social games.
Creative rather than violent games.
A blog I run for the wealth
I suggest staying away from First person shooters. I mean Portal is a fine game and all but it's honestly not where I would start. I'd look for something co-op but with a degree of depth. We're not looking for Fire Emblem here but something a bit more than bejeweled. I'd suggest Plants vs Zombies or maybe Geometry Wars. The thing you have to remember with new gamers is that controls are flipping hard. You need a game with simple controls or long enough time to decide what to do which is why turn based games would be a plus but most turn-based games are old school so maybe something with an active battle system. Something kinda like the Penny-Arcade game. Bit.Trip, Jetpack Joyride those are games with simple controls that are easy to pick up. Unfortunately they can get a bit hard. Still start there, maybe try an adventure game like Walking Dead or Back to the Future. You're going to need something easy to get her interested in gaming before you can start to ramp her up on difficulty.
As you go try to show her a variety of games. It's been my experience that most girls like different games and than dudes. My ex used to love Baten Kaitos and just being able to say that gives me a bit of tumescence. But other girls have liked music games like Singstar, or lightgun games like House of the Dead: Overkill (dude that game almost got me laid once.. hugely recommend.
Also try to get something with a heavy cooperative element. Even if she sucks at lightgun games you can help out. Singing doesn't need to be 'defeated'. Co-op games tend to require you to work together. What you need with a new gamer is something that you can effectively take over without letting her know. Mario Galaxy let's you help Mario, and my Overkill partner wasn't all that great but she never knew and as we progressed i let her take over more and more holding back shots.
Borderlands is also a good co-op game if you want to branch her up. It does allow your greater game skill to supplement for her. You can protect her and let her grow as a gamer.
My girl used to be sick at Metroid Prime pinball those are pretty easy and fun games. heavy on intrinsic reward
Beat 'em 'ups like Castle Crashers or Scott Pilgrim are also great for this.
Try to avoid games where you depend on each other like Sports games because her lack of knowledge will drag you down and she'll feel bad. I really think Sands of Time is a fantastic game for a new gamer. It's very well done and it wants you to finish it.
Score attack games like Pac-Man CE DX can be really really fun and also play off classic games she's likely familiar with. Like those 'fake gamer girls' who talk about Super Mario Bros 1. But introduce higher level gaming concepts like faster speed, flashing colors, power ups, graphical fidelity.
A lot of my games were based on my PS3 trophy list but they're the types of games you should look for on the PC, look for things like Hoard which is competitive but not necessarily against each other.
Hit up the Indie spots. World of Goo for instance was a big hit with my sister.
Just another second banana
If she's not interested in participating with you, it probably won't happen (like others have said).
My wife isn't a gamer, but actually was interested in getting involved - at least with a few games. The thing is, she is NOT a gamer, and wasn't really interested in actually playing. So, what we did is find the walkthroughs of games she'd like to watch, and she would essentially tell me what I needed to to/where to go/etc. while I played.
It's not ideal (for me - sometimes I would like to have a partner in the game), but it's a way for us to "play" together and keeps her involved (instead of just watching, which can get boring quickly).
There have been many things on TV lately about female gamers. You might have to widen your scope a little further.
A number of 80 year old women gamers were featured on the UK News this morning, but how about this, a 100 year old woman gamer - http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/ingame/100-year-old-woman-feels-80-thanks-nintendo-ds-24100
I agree with some other posters, try Minecraft without the monsters; the latest version also has trading with villagers and other things as well. The dark can certainly freak people out until they get used to it. Also, falling from heights can upset people when they get engrossed and are scared of heights in real life.
The good news is that some of these modern hand helds can work is both single and multiplayer modes so with extra features like being able to leave notes for each other that transmit between handsets, etc. they can change the "togetherness" factor even outside gaming.
It will take a lot of reserach on your part and also patience to find out what she likes; but be prepared for her not to like gaming at all. After all, as important as togetherness time, time apart can be just as important. It's all about balance. Good luck finding it.
...you want her to play online games with you ?
Don't you think she's already got enough to deal with ?
Perhaps if you moved back home and helped share some of the childcare / household responsibilities, she'd have a chance...
I've had good success with Quake II and Age of Empires -- the original one.
Quake II has a co-op mode, and my (girlfriend at the time) really got into it. Then I started on Age of Empires (the 1997 game) and since we can team up, we played that plenty.
But we haven't played other games, not from lack of trying. I think the success factors for those two games:
- Simple, Easy to play
- The game eventually ends
- Did I mention Simple?
When we got bored with AoE we eventually tried AoE II. The game was much more complex than the original AoE, and a game tended to "never end" -- you'd save and continue the same game forever, whereas AoE we had it down to a 45 minute to 1 hour game.
That being said, my wife got into the Sims, and I didn't, so a gamine duo we are not. And I don't push it either.
You just need to learn to accept that not all women like all games. First find out what gender of game she prefers. (pay attention when she stands behind you watching what your doing) and try talking with her about them. Don't try to push it just talk casually. If she peaks interest then you may have a game she might like. (warning: this happened with a few single players with my wife, lol)
By doing this I eventually found that my wife likes MMO's. I managed to get her involved with GuildWars then GuildWars2. Still trying to get her into others, but she is not fond of strategy, and doesn't like anything PVP orientated. So, it's a work in progress. Keep in mind always she may not like any of the games you do, and that doesn't mean she anything. Also try an occasional board game, I'm still trying to draw the parallels between starcraft and risk (which my kicks my ass in) for my wife.
I've had a good time playing through some click and point adventures, such as Machinarium, with my girlfriend. The important thing is for the game to have more puzzle elements that both can discuss and think about, and less "actiony" elements where only one can play while the other is looking. The old Lucas Arts adventures that you can play with ScummVM or Dosbox should work very well for this.
How Do I Get My Spouse To Start Gaming With Me?
She's already gaming with you; just not in a way you'd like.
Play Parallel Kingdom together on your smartphone's :)
My partner (I hate the word "boyfriend" because we're adults, we are buying a house together, I'm a grown ass woman and not a "girlfriend") and I both enjoy video games, however, we didn't start gaming together until City of Heroes. He was a hardcore WoW-er and XBOX gamer, and I was more into Sims/Simcity/Civilization with some zombie shooters every once in a while. City of Heroes was something I loved (customizable to the MAX in terms of character creation) and we really got closer over, because it made me feel less like he was "leaving me" to play WoW (because he'd play COH with me, or I could play alone while he WoWed). COH is closed now, but I enjoyed Guild Wars 2 for a brief period (it gets repetitive quickly but is very pretty and the crafting system is fun for someone who isn't used to other games' crafting systems) and I LOVE an MMO called The Secret World, which is VERY MUCH story-oriented and worth giving a go. I think you should look at both games, and most importantly, ask her what she would enjoy playing. An honest conversation about what she likes, doesn't like, and what will make her feel "bad" is really important - most important is to listen to her and "read between the lines." I'm just as bad about quitting a game if I feel like my partner has advanced so far that playing with me is "boring" for him and I'm not invested in it personally. The nice thing about TSW is that quests are repeatable and you can "delevel" yourself really easily (there are no levels - equipment determines your "level") to go back and play with her and have it been on a more even level (so you're not one-shotting things that are killing her). It may also be that she will enjoy a game like the new SimCity or The Sims 3, or Civilization, or Magic the Gathering. These are the games I play when my partner is shooting stuff in Call of Duty (which I play every so often - but there's the issue where I feel bad because I "bring the team down" even when I'm playing well) or playing something I don't enjoy (he likes a lot more games than float my boat). Also, there are little puzzlers I enjoy - World of Goo and Zenbound are two that come off the top of my head. Look for the Humble Bundles when they come out - it's a great way to get a couple fun little games, and you'll get a better idea of what she enjoys if she dabbles in some different genres.
I have the hiccups.
World of Warcraft.
Take a taxi and point out the characters below being controlled by real people, show her the lovely scenery, and the vastness of the world.
Then show her around Stormwind (but don't let her see Trade), and have your guildmates say hi to her on your character.
Show her some of the beautiful attire, if she likes that kind of thing.
Help her roll a Gnome warlock, and show her that both buttons on the mouse will move her character.
Then go away. Let her read. Let her ding.
When she has a few levels under her belt, help her get to Elwynn Forest and take her to the room in the inn that doesn't have an npc in it. Make that her home.
Give her some big bags.
The rest will take care of itself.
My partner and I live apart (we're both finishing our PhDs in different countries) and to spend time together, he suggested that I start playing a MUD that he's played since high school (it's called Gemstone). I started playing a few years ago and have continued because it's a fun game and we can have fun playing together even though we're on different continents.
It's a different situation (I play other games too when I have the time and we don't play as much when we're in the same place because we have real-world interactions to catch up on), but all it took was suggesting nicely and showing me the ropes a little. It probably doesn't hurt that he's never played the type of character I created so while we discuss things like training, I base a lot of my training path on reading forums and talking to experienced players who have chosen the same profession/weapon/hunting strategy. And while he knows the hunting grounds and some strategies for hunting creatures, he gives advice instead of acting like this is the only way to do things. He also can't take over my keyboard and play my character for me if I'm having difficulty doing something (and even when we are in the same place, I'm better at playing my character than he is so this would be a bad plan).
I don't know what you've tried, but I would suggest that you don't nag her about it and that you actually let her play (i.e. don't take the keyboard/controller away from her; don't tell her what to do unless she asks and even if she asks, discuss instead of ordering). Other than that, probably a multiplayer or cooperative game would be more fun than a head-to-head competition (especially if it's a game you've played before, because losing all the time is boring) and really, if she doesn't like it, then accept that you have different interests and don't make a big deal of it. You might also have to accept that she might want you to participate in some of her preferred activities by getting her to try out yours (and in the interest of marital harmony, you should probably go with that).
My wife and I play things like Minecraft, Terraria, Team Fortress 2, Army of Two, and even Left 4 Dead. There's no real secret to it. Your wife married you to be able to maximize the time that she can spend with you.
Playing games was a selfish activity when we were first married, and she was always trying to pull me away from it. The thing that really made the switch was Lego Star Wars. It was easy to learn, didn't penalize beginning players, and gave her the option to drop in and out of play if she needed to do something.
Obviously, every individual is different, but I think everyone can see the value in interactive entertainment over sitting on the couch with you and vegging to a movie. You just need to find an opening title that doesn't demand heavy compromises from a beginner.
sitting next to each other and interacting a bit qualifies much better as "us time,"
I agree. But certain fanboys would claim that "us time" is far more often done with a console, and that the fraction of people who would consider using a PC for "us time" (as opposed to a console) is so minuscule that developers shouldn't bother spending time=money to target it.
May I make a suggestion? Sex. Try that. I know you are talking about kids, and that means you aren't getting any lately, so try getting back to basics. And then, while you are doing it, play the video game you like and it's like you are gaming together.
It took a while to figure out what you meant, since people like you never manage to meet females to marry and have sex with. Then I realized that you were referring not to the kind of wife that one meets and marries on one's own, but rather to the kind that is purchased. That is, of course, a key component to your religious fantasy - the open buying, selling, and discarding of people on the free market. Hence, as you would view your wife as your property that is owned, you would feel entitled to force her into intercourse regardless of how she feels.
In other words, once again while you claim to be a champion of individual freedoms and other such bullshit, you are actually pushing for fascism for the people.
To get her to agree to three ways.
I have been with my wife for 7 years. She didn't show must interest in gaming at first for many years. she enjoyed watching me play zelda and looking things up for me. this is how i first introduced her to it. Eventually we started playing some original games like Mario and Mario Kart. After a few years I have been able to introduce her to new games. Keep in mind it took several aggrevating months for her to get used to the X-box controller and she still can't play FPS because her reaction is too slow. Try to cater to her interests and be willing to let her play alone. The first game I really got her into was Red Dead Redemption because she loves the old west. It took a bit, but she really loved it. Otherwise finding a common interest and a game that ties it in. We recently played Lego LOTR and it was fenominal, we are both big LOTR fans and so her interest in the game outweighed her frustration. The lego games are simple and fun and have a broad range of pop culture to go off. otherwise Rayman origins was a lot of fun too. Just be patient and realize they have no prior experience to base it off of. help explain some game mechanics but give her time to absorb it it all.
If the people I meet in WoW are anything to go by, most housewives have a good 4-8 hours per day to play games. :)
For me dungeon defenders did the trick, and start off with console maybe, it's much more approachable than pc gaming.
She was already a casual gamer (mario party, mario kart and stuff like that). It all depends on what you expect from marriage, both sides should try to make the other happy so you have to watch romantic comedies and she has to frag zombies with you...
They're not easy to find.
At one extreme, you have the zero-sum pure competition games. Chess and Go are classic examples, but the most cutthroat one I've come across is Caesar and Cleopatra. Divorce in a box, if you ask me.
At the other extreme, you have the "family game" type, which is pretty much random who wins and who loses. The card game Fluxx is the best example I can think of here. I've played Fluxx while actively trying to lose, and won despite my best efforts. These can be fun, but they're not intellectually stimulating.
The good two-player games are in a sweet spot between those two extremes. The perfect 2-player game has enough randomness that you won't feel bad if you lose, but enough strategy to make you feel like your actions mattered when you win.
Lost Cities, Odin's Ravens, and Jaipur are three such games. They are all card games, and what cards you get is significant in all three games. But all 3 games let you manage your luck in different ways, so having a good strategy is essential.
No male I know that has younger kids and an 'equal' marriage has time for video games.
Then I'm happy to be your first, please to meet you! My fiance and I work full time and have a 5 year old in Kindergarten yet I still game. Sure it's changed a bit since I was single... I can't play Skyrim or Zelda anymore (as much as I want to) because I seldom get blocks of hours of free time needed to enjoy them. In general my game time comes after they are both asleep and instead of the big sweeping epics I play a lot of "Arcade style games". By "Arcade" I mean quick pick up and play games that I can play 20-30 minutes of and be completely content with.
There's also the games we like to play WITH eachother. She isn't a gamer by any stretch, but the 3 of us enjoy Wii Party, Wii Sports Resort ... stuff like that. We also play board games together as a family activity. So sure... I still game regularly, but it's just different is all.
You know what I see as being slightly weird about this? Y'all are presenting women as people who will never, ever get into games unless they grew up with them. Blanket generalizations and anecdotal evidence a go go? So here's my experience.
True story: My husband got me into playing his Xbox. I didn't have a clue how to use the two joysticks when he suggested that we play split-screen Gears of War together. That's what I remember the most, you know? The fact that I honestly couldn't hit anything because I couldn't get the hang of THIS moves the dude and THAT moves his gun. But I stuck with it. It was nice, playing together. And Gears is a great game, great story-telling, really atmospheric. I wanted to know what happened next. So I got better at it.
So he got Gears 2. And we played that as well, and it was again, really cool. And I was much better at the game this time around, so we played it on Insane or whatever, and had lots of fun. Then he tried out Horde mode on the multiplayer, and I decided to join in despite being seriously nervous (heard the stories about Xbox Live being, shall we say, not a fun experience for females) and, inevitably, I sucked first time and died a lot, mostly from panicking. But I stuck with it, because it was a pretty good feeling when we all worked together and beat the big waves, and hell, if I got my hands on the mortar I could do some damage at least. So I got better at it.
We didn't have a whole lot of time to play, but it was great fun when we did. I got braver, and I got better at it, and by the time Gears 3 was released, I'd turned into the Zen sniper from hell - like, I think my best run was a wave 20 with two of us already down, I had ten bullets left in my Longshot, and I nailed ten headshots in a row in the space of about thirty seconds and cleared it. Ah, good times...
So I guess my point is that, surprise surprise, women are all different and it's entirely possible for OP's wife to enjoy playing games with him. But it's not enough to shove a game at her and say 'this one is cool, we should play this'. She doesn't know that game, and it's likely her whole cultural experience of gaming is that it's a boys' thing, like football, that will always be inaccessible to her. But unlike football, which is largely all the same, games can be like movies that you play. And you can pick one that shows her just how crazy and awesome they are, and you can get her playing through that.
I started playing after watching my husband play. I was a backseat gamer for a while, telling him to go here or do that or helping with figuring out puzzles. I remember when he played Eternal Darkness on the Gamecube, and how we both stayed up really late to play another chapter, but only one of us was using the controller.
So, with all that in mind: get Portal. Portal deserves all the praise it gets. You don't need to know any backstory and she can help you figure out the puzzles. And you can both laugh at the humor :P It's also short, snappy, and broken up into nice little level-chunks. Then if she likes it, you can see about getting Portal 2 and playing the co-op.
(I got my own gaming PC now :P And my own Xbox. Me and Husband have Portal 2 on the list o' stuff to buy, but we've put it off until we finish Borderlands 2. And our marriage is awesome.)
Isn't reality enough for you? Get a life. Go to the theater, see a play, go dancing, .., do anything *but* play bloody computer games!