Slashdot Mirror

You mean this article?

Kind of reminds me of this

Way to rip off The Onion. It's called karma for a reason, dude.

If they're anything like these newly discovered critters, then yes, they are delicious!

It could have Al-Queda or something inside. We should shove a few thermobarric bombs in there just to make sure.

That was supposed to be funny? *yawn*

(Btw, what do these new creatures taste like? Are they good with garlic butter?)

Cue the Onion: New, Delicious Species Discovered.

For those of you with enough of an anti-China bent to take Cheapy's reference to 15-minute maternity leave at face value, it's from story at The Onion and is not actually true.

Ironically, Xinhua (the central news agency for the PRC) once mistakenly carried an article written by the Onion in their newspapers here in China, believing it to be an authentic news source. Much face was lost that day.

Here ya go.

Google News doesn't list The Onion! Censorship! Censorship, I yell you!!!

The dangers of archaeology are well documented by The Onion: Archaeologist Tired Of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils.

I assume that in India, the manual labor required to count all the paper ballots is cheaper than it would be in the U.S.

Ask for volunteers. It works in other countries. Despite US turnout rates being lower than, say, Afghanistan, there surely must be enough civic-minded citizens to perform the job.

It's mind-boggling that the US system can make such a dog's breakfast of an activity that is simply counting.

Did anybody else think they were reading an Onion article?

Thankfully they still haven't evolved opposable thumbs.

If Sci-Fi anime is any indication of what's to come, apparently they won't need to evolve opposable thumbs.

(That's Poipoider from Kenran Butohsai: The Mars Daybreak.)

... that they are no good on land http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45360/

1) They'd kill us all if they had thumbs

and quickly left.

But that's just because they're in the water.

I wonder how many of those surveyed claim to get trustworthy news from The Onion?

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

THIS is what's next.

Fuck Everything, We're Doing FOUR Graphics Cards

That's less true everyday. The average US citizen spends no more than 15 minutes a day on news. That's an old figure from a journalism class I took, but it's not going to change much. As those 15 minutes are increasingly consumed online at work, other forms will dissapear. Here's a mainstream admission of that, just in case you need someone official and legitimate to tell you the obvious. Note also that the USA Today also failed to make the 100 top web sites. What's easier for you is easier for others too.

It's all a farce anyway, "mainstream" is something that may have existed in an era of 3 tv networks, but it's gone now. This article is more amusing than the above and is not so far from the truth.

total classic

Exactly what I was thinking... $2799 for a mirror. (O.k. I know there isn't pricing but I figure you would have to buy a MacBook Pro to get this...) Reminds me of "The Onion" article talking about the $5000 Multimedia Computer System that downloads real time TV programs and displays them on the computer monitor: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39109

For some reason, whenever I read about Google's mysterious shipping crate, I can't help but think of this

Here is Professor Hawking's early research into the field

Pfft, Stephen Hawking has had this beat for years.

Considering France's economy, maybe they're talking about this cashless economy. (Scroll down for 'Area Man Participates in Cashless Economy.')

sorry about your run-in with copyright maximalists insisting
upon advance permission for preparing derivative works.

meanwhile, according to The Onion, Apple owns your vacation videos:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47468

Jacob Oakley,
Teaching Assistant
"It's unfair. You don't go to war with the Secretary of Defense you want, you go to war the Secretary of Defense you have."

Hopefully the ceremony has a moment of silence for the robots that were hazed at MIT.

No Child Left Behind is an old, outdated program. The new one is much improved.

On the other hand, that's exactly how America was 200 years ago. We undercut everyone with cheap, crappy goods thanks to our abundant workforce and raw supplies, and we built quality goods much later.

I'd like to see some support for that argument. What sort of cheap, junky trinkets were we shipping out 200 years ago?
It certainly wasn't DVD players.

I really have to wonder where on earth you got this idea, 200 years ago 75% of America's exports were agricultural.
Japan might have been the example you were looking for, but Japan's gov't was and is signficantly different than China's. One might even suggest that China is in the same boat that Russia was was in 30 years ago. Sure, the wall fell, but how many Russian cars do you see rolling around the streets of the US?

My point is, it should not be treated as a forgone conclusion that China will eventually start producing product on a par with the rest of the world. I'm reminded of an Onion article: " India's Top Physicists Develop Plan To Get The Hell Out Of India."
The point is, it's perfectly conceivable that China could remain a cheap forced labor camp for the rest of the world indefinately. Hopefully, that won't be the case, but it is possible.

Anybody else reminded of this article?

Yup. My wife and myself have been TV-free since 10/10/2004. It's somewhat curious how I find myself outright offended at some of the stupidity and out-of-control consumerism that advertising promotes (lost another viewer to Ditech!). The most TV we catch is usually when we go over my parents' house to visit, but despite the 100+ channels they have, there seems to be nothing interesting on. Raising kids w/o television is going to be an interesting ride, though.

One thing I have found that I really enjoy is listening to the ballgame on the radio. It's an amazing experience if the commentators are good (WEEI Boston is the best in this arena, IIRC).

I've also been accused of gloating as well. To each their own, however.

Life imitates The Onion.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

LOL !!!!! "secular gravity" LOL !!!!!

what next? secular antibiotics vs holy water?

In the future, Iranians and North Koreans will team up with Osama bin Laden to create nuclear armaggedon. We'll have to abandon earth and find an alternate planet to continue humanity.

I suggest we build 3 starships. In the first ship, which we'll call 'A' ark, put all the real scientists. In the second, called 'B' ark, put all the evangelical "scientists", G.W.B. and his friends. In the last, 'C' ark, put everyone else. Then, we'll launch the 'B' ark BEFORE others, so they can find a planet that was promised to us from God and prepare the planet for the arrival of the other ships .........

Are you saying that you dispute the scientific legitimacy of intelligent falling?

Check out this link:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

obligitory onion reference
The Camera-Phone

Which doesn't mean they do so gracefully.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

I've long considered myself both a nerd and a jock. I was glued to AD&D source books and frantically backstabbing in many a MUD at the same time that I was playing four sports in high school. In the same way that I had a deep love for a wide array of academic topics - literature and history in particular, with dashes of science thrown in for good measure - I found that playing a different sport every three months (football in the fall, wrestling in the winter and track and field in the spring) as well as a year and life long commitment to hockey all made my life a little better.

I'm proud of being a nerd and hopeful that one day we can continue the peace process [theonion.com], and one reason I don't mind being called such affectionately is that being a nerd also means you're not exactly hung up on what others think of you or of what you should be doing. Ultimately, to me, that's always meant that the things I enjoy - whether it's reading slashdot, watching college football, laughing at WoW stamina jokes even though I've never played, playing hockey, contributing to wikipedia, etc. - are not mutually exclusive even though in some quarters they might be considered so.

Does being interested in open source make me any less of an athlete? Does being able to bench press 315 pounds make me any less a nerd? Does my posing hypothetical questions in this manner affect a butterfly's ability in Rhodesia to affect weather patterns in Salem, Oregon? I think the answer to all those questions are the same, though the cheeky amongst you will probably have a different one than me.

To me being a nerd is about not placing too much importance in what others may think of you and your lifestyle, and that's always implied a highly analytical approach to life and the optimum and most efficient avenues of existence. All my best friends are nerds who can play some mean puck. One is, quite literally, a rocket scientist. Another is studying to become a vet. Those who are smart realize that physical activity is conductive to and a part of excellent mental acuity. This idea of nerds being pocket protector wearing, weak limbed, pasty faced slobs has never held a place in my world. We approach our physical health the same way we do our mental well being: efficiently, and with the question of "How best to optimize my existence so that I may continue doing the things I love?"

It just so happens that for us, exercising embiggens our ability to play hockey, to drink, to drink while playing table hockey and to think clearly about how to alleviate/avoid hangovers so we can plan our next hockey/drinking/drinking hockey escapade with the highest level of operability.

Finally, the nerds I know who exercise (and there are a lot) approach it with an almost maniacal determination to get it exactly right. They're the guys who know at what intervals they should be hitting their sets, who have graphically tracked their heart rates and their maxes and exactly what days that spinning class is offered. And they definitely don't wear some of the ridiculous outfits I've seen on some of the more "health conscious" individuals at the 24 Hour Fitness on Sunset Boulevard and Vine; the term "functional clothing" has probably never entered those people's minds.

My nerd life is healthy as can be, thank you. In fact, thanks to this nagging shoulder injury acquired from completely crushing my buddy during a pick up game of hockey, I could probably use a little more nerd and a little less jock right now. But that doesn't mean I won't pretend I'm paying attention in yoga - I've deduced it's the best way to stretch and get a great view of the female fauna so long as you're positioned optimally. Mirrors + understanding of angles of incidence and reflection = crazy delicious.

Man, those Japanese are way behind. Stephen Hawking already did this back in 1997!

Report: 98 Percent Of U.S. Commuters Favor Public Transportation For Others

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28812/

Not quite true. The effects of gravitation are successfully described, but how gravity works is still largely (almost completely, in fact) unknown.

This is in very sharp contrast to evolution, where we know *everything*: genes, random mutations, DNA etc. Yet I don't hear too many people arguning that we should preach (oh, sorry, that should be "teach") Intelligent Falling in school.

reminds me of http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130

It is indeed all about the people skills, isn't it?

I had to look it up. I thought I might as well share:
Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

We've seen the media get over-excited about an Apple launch before, but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday.