Project Grizzly Bear-Proof Suit Up For Auction

Ch_Omega writes "The Project Grizzly suit, The 'Ursus Mark VI', a 'grizzly-proof' suit of armour', was mentioned on Slashdot a few years ago. For all of you who then wished for such a suit (for wrestling with Grizzly Bears?), both the original Mark VI and the improved Mark VII (featuring 'a built-in video screen, a cooling system, pressure-bearing titanium struts, protective airbags, shock absorbers, a robotic third arm, built-in regular arms and swivel shoulders') are now for sale on eBay!"

Comments

Hrm...

[raehl]

Think it has enough heat sinks to support jump jets?

Re:Hrm...

[zerocool^]

Probaby not, what with that ERPPC on it's sholder (Mark VI model, anyway).

~Will

Maybe it's not just me.

[Allen Zadr]

Start time: 05-May-04 10:23:19 EDT
History: 0 bids

Zero bids? I can't say I'm that surprised. Afterall, aren't these things just a little silly? Maybe it's just me, but a 'starting' bid of $5000 with a reserve is a bit much for something with no practicle use.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[cardshark2001]

Maybe it's just me, but a 'starting' bid of $5000 with a reserve is a bit much for something with no practicle [sic] use.

No practical use!?!? If it can protect you from grizzlies, don't you think it can also protect you from being grabbed by Arnold Schwarzenegger when he's in a particularly frisky mood?

Geez, learn to think outside the box a little.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Anonymous Coward]

I beleive it's also bullet proof, and protection against extreme high impact forces(like being hit by a wrecking ball). If it had powered mobility and I could afford it, I'd definately buy it.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[macserv]

All he needs to do is combine it with a home-built Segway, jet engine, and liquid immersion cooling system. Then the /.ers will eat it up.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Allen Zadr]

Ugh, I don't want to think about Arnold's "box".

But seriously, how could anyone explain that expenditure to thier [[ parent, sibling, lover, financial-advisor, ""normal"" friends, Dean Cain or the SlashDot community ]], who would all surely chide and make fun of your rather eclectic taste for wasting money, while being jealous of your ability to waste said money?

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[XMyth]

What are you getting at? Segways aren't useful? Get outta here!

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[josh3736]

I also have a hard time imagining any practical use of this thing short of... well, running after grizzlies.

As a side note, I also have something of a grizzly-proofing tool. It's called a gun.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Alkaiser]

Seriously, you can get nailed by a car at like 40 miles an hour. This would be great for things like...crossing the street.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Dr Caleb]

something with no practicle use.

No use? It's my yearly review time, and it would be perfect because I'm thinking of asking for a raise!

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[RatBastard]

What good is a gun if you have no arms to hold it? Living in bear country (Alaska) I can tell you that you need a damned powerful gun and a steady hand to down a bear. Grizzlies are very hard to kill and very easy to anger. In a face to face confrontation you had better kill it with the first shot or you are in for a world of serious hurt, if not death.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Anonymous Coward]

No kidding! I'm not surprised either...these bearsuits don't look anything like a bear at all! Me n' my "furry" friends are not impressed.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[mog007]

So it's 5 grand with a reserve... IT HAS FREE SHIPPING!

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[RinkRat]

As a side note, I also have something of a grizzly-proofing tool. It's called a gun.

Reminds me of a Grizzly hunting joke:

Man arrives at the hunting lodge and meets with his guide. Guide is going down the checklist of things, when he starts talking about ammunition. Guy says 'Got it!' and pulls out a loaded .45. Guide looks at it for a second and asks if remembered to get the sights filed off before he goes out.

"Why?", asks the man.

"So when the Grizzly takes it from you and shoves it up your a$$ it doesn't hurt as much.", he says.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[F34nor]

Reminds me of Blazing Saddles...

Bart: "I better go check out this Mongo character." [Bart reaches for his gun]
Jim: "Oh no, don't do that."
Bart: "Why not?"
Jim: "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[aelbric]

Why do I see a new Darwin Award nomination soon to come?

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[linzeal]

About time the pedestrians got roll cages. Now they should make the minimium speed limit everywhere 75 mph, except in school zones where it will be 45.

Seriously, does anyone here think that something like this will become minitaurized enough to be of practical use for bicyclists and pedestrains?

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[modecx]

If nothing else you could stick some big-foot shaped shoes on it, cover it in fur and go stalk some rual highways, waiting for a car to pounce on; get hit, and then run into the forest.

With this suit, one could start a frenzy in the bigfoot crowd (also substitute bigfoot for an alien, godzilla, teletubby, barney, etc. for better effect)

*thump*

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Wog]

That's why you bring your big freaking rifle, and then when the bloodied bear comes running towards you, have your buddy open up with a Spaz-12.

Probably wouldn't be able to hang it on a wall afterward, though.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[tkg]

Like this one? Took more than one shot.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Allen Zadr]

Only to Canada... I don't qualify, so I see no value there. Quite an incentive to keep it in the homeland though. Shipping for these things has to be near $1000 freight.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[ackthpt]

Zero bids? I can't say I'm that surprised. Afterall, aren't these things just a little silly? Maybe it's just me, but a 'starting' bid of $5000 with a reserve is a bit much for something with no practicle use.

Obviously Homer Simpson hasn't logged onto eBay, yet.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[ePhil_One]

Seriously, does anyone here think that something like this will become minitaurized enough to be of practical use for bicyclists and pedestrains?

What, for really, really, tiny pedestrians and bicyclists?

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Morel]

Hmmm...that reminds me of something.

Remember to file down the sights of your gun before heading out to bear country.

You know why?

So when the bear rips the gun out of your hand and shoves it up you ass, it won't hurt as much.

That's how much good a gun'll do ya. :)

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[fiendo]

Given the historical scoreboard of Humanity vs Animals, I'd say the real market is in suits to protect *animals* from *humans*.

Erm, that is if the animals had wallets.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Short Circuit]

"Candygram, for Mongo!"

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[BlueJay465]

I always thought the life-sized hamster ball would be more effective...and if you did get hit, it sure would be a lot funnier for spectators to watch.

Traffic soccer(football), anyone?

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[swv3752]

Maybe someone is just waiting to snipe bid. :)

Of course one could just think of these suits as really expensive Halloween costumes. Look at me, I'm a Cylon. I suspose one could also go as a Power Ranger.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Short Circuit]

You try getting one of these things past customs.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Anonymous Coward]

No it would still kill you. Do some math

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Anonymous Coward]

just a thought... but how is it underground P2P if you have it listed in your SLASHDOT sig?!?!

Coincidence?

[grub]

What a coincidence! Just last night I was having dinner when I though to myself "Self... your life would improve immeasurably if only you had something you could take on a grizzly bear in."

Re:Coincidence?

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

I keep thinking of Dan Ackroyd being interviewed by Jane Curtain, about his "Grizzly Safety" book.

Re:Coincidence?

[cjwl]

I first read it as "dinner with my wife", which makes much more sense.

Re:Coincidence?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmm.. I don't remember that skit! And that's from when SNL was a GOOD show.
grub

Re:Coincidence?

[Anonymous Coward]

"dinner with my ex-wife" is what I was thinking, but then you'd have to imagine her in the back of a pickup, dressed in a mumu with 600 empty McDonalds bags around her.

Re:Coincidence?

[garcia]

John Candy: "Big Bear... Big Bear chase me!"

Re:Coincidence?

[nettdata]

Just last night I was having dinner when I though to myself "Self... your life would improve immeasurably if only you had something you could take on a grizzly bear in."


Interesting... I was in a much similar situation, but it was a Mother's Day dinner at the in-laws. ;)

Well then....

[Pxtl]

I take it to mean the project was a failure, given that they're selling off the fruits of their labour. Just as well - all the gear in the world wouldn't protect the suit from just being sat on and then the bear going to sleep for a few weeks in winter, leaving the suit dude to starve to death while trapped under a fat assed bear.

Re:Well then....

[GreyyGuy]

Yes, because bears are well known for their strategic thinking and willingness to accept a siege mentality... ;)

Re:Well then....

[Pxtl]

Actually, from an interview I saw once, that was a real concern. After all, the ostensible purpose of the suit was to examine bears in their natural habitat, particularly in the environments they make as "homes" for themselves, ie the places they sleep. The expected reaction to the suit was to beat it up a bit and then, once convinced it was not a threat, ignore it. So the above scenario was considered plausible.

Re:Well then....

[DreadSpoon]

Stick a few electrical nodes outside, shock the shit out of the bear, eventually it'll learn not to sit on you.

Re:Well then....

[DeVilla]

Personally, I've always wondered what you'd do if the bear rolled you over to the river....

Re:Well then....

[imkonen]

Now I can't help but think of Barney saying "Boy, you think that's bad, you should try sleeping on one of these!" and whipping out a random looking pointy thing from under his back :-). I think you gotta figure if the bear is really done thinking you might be canned food, it can find a more comfortable place to hibernate than on top of this metal squirming thing...like oh...anywhere else in the cave?!?!

That said I'm not volunteering to sign up for a live test of this thing with a real bear. Bears are pretty smart and persistant when it comes to getting into food containers. Little black bears that live in Yosemite break into cars all the time...the mere fact that it is constructed from metal is not enough by itself when it comes to a big species like a grizzly or a polar bear. One might be quite literally bent-out-of-shape before it gives up on dinner even if it never digs a claw or fang into flesh. This quote from the ebay listing is not a selling point to me: "The suits are unique because they were built totally out of Hurtubise's mind, with no blueprints, drawings or schematics."

Mech

[Thanatopsis]

If it was a 40 Ton mech I might consider bidding. As it is, it looks like a 300 lb walking sauna.

Re:Mech

[drinkypoo]

You can't have a full point without four more of them anyway - and where is the SRM2?

Re:Mech

[iCEBaLM]

You mean a star which is 5 mechs, a point is one mech.

Re:Mech

[Stone Rhino]

No, he means a point. Battle Armor points are made up of 5 suits, aerospace points are made up of two (lead and wingman), and only BattleMech points are made up of individual vehicles. A star would be 25 suits. A point is considered a single combat unit, so it's not dishonorable for one to gang up on a 'mech and take it down, which they are very capable of doing.

Re:Mech

[SollyCholly]

Or a Lance, which is 4 mechs (used by I.S. forces, IIRC).

Re:Mech

[Anonymous Coward]

Please clarify for those who feel the absolutely must figure out what you meant...

Robotech
BattleTech
WarHammer 40,000

Thanks,
AC

Re:Mech

[corbettw]

Nah, just paint it black and white, put black crosses on the shoulder pads, and go grizzly huntin' with your bolt pistol and power sword. A bear would be, what?, S4 T4 W2? A single Marine could handle one.

It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Faust7]

I love the description of the Black Box:

"Voice-activated recording device... to record bear sounds, or, in the event of a catastrophic failure of the Ursus Mark VI, last words."

I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[cmburns69]

"...or, in the event of a catastrophic failure of the Ursus Mark VI, last words."

What's the point if it doesn't even guarantee my safety?!

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[The Ultimate Fartkno]

> in the event of a catastrophic failure

What separates a catastrophic failure from a regular failure when you're talking about this suit? I suppose it's the *speed* at which you're eaten by the bear.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Quimo]

A Regular failure is any failure you can leave and still have the suit (and you in it) mostly intact.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Progman3K]

>What separates a catastrophic failure from a regular failure when you're talking about this suit?

The number of limbs the bear eats.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[the_mad_poster]

Airbags don't guarantee your safety either, but most (sane) people (of a proper hieght and build) wouldn't trash them just because they're not a 100% solution. That's not the point. The point is to greatly improve your odds. It never claimed to make your survival chances 1:1, just to make them better.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Frequency Domain]

How do you say "I love the ones with the crunchy outside!" in grizzly-speak?

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[PetoskeyGuy]

I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

I wonder if they would have time to carve that on the inside of the suit...

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[ralf1]

He'd probably get a lot more bids if he sold it as an Unreal suit.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Tablizer]

[recording device] I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

But the length can be telling. I can envision a QA graph resembling:

Version
1.0 - AAAGH
1.5 - AAAAAAAGH
2.0 - AAAAAAGH
2.2 - AAAAAAAAAAGH
etc...

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[xarak]

You must get the Holy Grail from the Castle of Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh...

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Anonymous Coward]

>>What separates a catastrophic failure from a regular failure when you're talking about this suit?

The length of your last scream. Just ask Howard Dean -- the longer the scream the shorter your career, whether politico or bear hunter.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[corbettw]

Just remember: some days you eat the bear, and some days, well, some days, the bear, he eats you.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[ajs]

To be fair, this guy has done some really rugged tests of these suits. In terms of raw power in a single blow, no bear on earth could hurt you in this thing.

On ther other hand, I was always a bit dicy on the idea of having a bear decide to just push you over and sit on you for a half hour or so... I don't think that would work out as well.

Still, this suit was a marvel of engineering, and anyone who thinks they could build a suit that could take a head-on hit from a swinging tree-log, please feel free to try ;-)

Simpsons...

[j0hnfr0g]

I holding out for the one that Homer made.

Re:Simpsons...

[FerretFrottage]

Yes, however the "back door" could be improved to allow only uni-directional communication

What I've learned from TV...

[Anonymous Coward]

I'll be using mine to steal picnic baskets from unsuspecting park visitors...

Re:What I've learned from TV...

[Anonymous Coward]

It's "pick-i-nick" baskets, you moron...

it also repels women

[victor_the_cleaner]

In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

Re:it also repels women

[paintballluvr]

In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

Is that really a concern here on slashdot?

Re:it also repels women

[Tablizer]

In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

At least you are for sure guarenteed not to get laid by a bear.

Re:it also repels women

[nih]

oh right, i have enough problems getting laid and now you want me to wear a bear suit?, hmmm might work, brb

Warning

[JoeBar]

The following show features stunts performed either by professionals or under the supervision of professionals. Accordingly, bearsuits(0) and the producers must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed on this show.

Cups?

[Anonymous Coward]

What? No cup holders? Pah!

You may look like a retard...

[heyitsme]

You may look like a retard with one of these, but at least you won't get beat up!

Re:You may look like a retard...

[hoggoth]

"Hey Jock, I'll meet you on the playground at 3pm."
(ring... ring... Dad, I need to borrow your bear suit)

Re:You may look like a retard...

[Salo2112]

Until you go to the bathroom....

>>You may look like a retard with one of these, but at least you won't get beat up!

Well...

[caramelcarrot]

Are you actually able to stand back up after surviving being knocked over by the bear? It seems a bit bulky...

Tinned humans :)

Re:Well...

[Ismilar]

No, you can't.
If you've seen the documentary (which is absolutely hillarious, by the way, because the guy's a complete whacko), the suit (Mark VI) fails miserably because he can't walk on anything but perfectly flat ground without falling down.
They go out into the wilderness after 10 years of making and testing the suit, they find a bear, and then they can't do anything about it because they can't find any flat enough ground (in the mountains) to move around on. It's really, really stupid.

Featured in..

[Thng]

The suit was featured in the National Film Board of Canada documentary Project Grizzly, which turned Hurtubise into a cult hero. It was also featured on Ripley's Believe It or Not TV and in the Guinness Book of World Records, for the most expensive animal research suit.

What? He didn't mention slashdot?

Re:Featured in..

[key45]

Project Grizzly and Cyberman were both featured in Indie Truth, a documentary about documentaries that was on the IFC recently. I think the director was even more candid about how crazy Project Grizzly was in the TV show than he was in the documentary.

buttocks

[maxbang]

Does this suit leave my buttocks exposed? Because I need the freedom of movement. Bowel movement, that is.

Re:buttocks

[Tablizer]

Does this suit leave my buttocks exposed? Because I need the freedom of movement. Bowel movement, that is.

Rumor is they forgot to address this on the first Apollo moon mission:

"That's one small step for....ug....Houston, I have problem."

Re:buttocks

[strike2867]

In that case you might have a real problem with getting laid by the bear, from comment above.

Ranger Ned could have used one of these...

[Metallic Matty]

Bart: "Homey, it isn't nice to maul Ranger Ned.."

Homer: "You want some of this!?"

Saw the documentary, it was great

[Teddy Beartuzzi]

And hey, the suit's not just for bears, it's also vehicle proof as well.

Could probably use it for crossing New York intersections.

"a robotic third arm"

[Anonymous Coward]

Ummm... Dare I ask what this is used for?

I wonder if they marketed it to grizzlies

[afeeney]

as a functioning Superbear costume, minus a few features?

Or perhaps for bears with Achilles envy? "Watch the heel, the patch isn't ready yet."

Sweet.

[American AC in Paris]

The Mark VII: just the thing for all those geeks who can't quite work up the nerve to ask Samus Aran out on a date.

Re:Sweet.

[bludstone]

Dude. Why would you want to do that? She _always_ wears the suit.. She cant take it off anymore.

I would link the penny arcade comic, but it seems the site is down.

Hah!

[Brainix]

A grizzly bear proof suit for sale on eBay!

...and they think eBay can learn from old Sears catalogs!

No wonder it's on eBay

[neosake]

Wearing one of those apparently does nothing to protect you from the /. effect.

don't bring on the bear puns

[Anonymous Coward]

i can't bear it!

Money back...

[silverhalide]

I guess he doesn't have to worry about people asking for their money back if it doesn't work right...

Re:Money back...

[cardshark2001]

I guess he doesn't have to worry about people asking for their money back if it doesn't work right...

Boy there's a lot of material here. Other such invention ideas:

An extraterrestrial repellent cologne. Guaranteed to prevent abduction.

A watch that works on interstellar space missions up to 10% of the speed of light.

Scuba gear especially designed for paraplegics

Nuclear bomb shelter (has this been done already?)

Any sort of "adult" toy. Who's gonna return the tickler 2000?

Electronic voting machines (the machine does the vote taking and the auditing, so how would you know).

Okay, mine were pretty lame. Anyone else?

Re:Money back...

[Tablizer]

I guess he doesn't have to worry about people asking for their money back if it doesn't work right...

But if you check the feedback log, some bears have been complaining about the after-taste.

Re:Money back...

[19thNervousBreakdown]

A wonderful food seasoning, NotPoison. Tastes great, make sure to use the whole jar!

Maybe the makers...

[Anonymous Coward]

should go here. -- Tired of political dishonesty? Vote for the Lemon Party!

After watching the video.

[FreeLinux]

I'll put $100 on the bear.

This guy is about to get his butt kicked.

Baiting Dangerous Animals - Xtreme Sport

[gbulmash]

I'm not sure if this is an urban legend, but I seem to recall that at least one or two major metropolitan zoos have a couple of break-ins or attempted break-ins annually by dumbass wannabe badasses trying to get into the tiger cage or lion cage or whatnot so they can prove their manliness by fighting the dangerous beasts.

I have to wonder what inadequacy someone is compensating for when they feel it necessary to bait a dangerous animal into attacking them.

- Greg

Re:Baiting Dangerous Animals - Xtreme Sport

[incom]

Actually your totally wrong. The intentions for the bear suit were hibernation research, which could lead to things like a stasis drug for deep space missions.

Re:Baiting Dangerous Animals - Xtreme Sport

[Anonymous Coward]

We had one at the National Zoo in Washington DC a year or so back. There wasn't really a good explanation, but my guess was some sort of religious fundie doing the Daniel with the Lions thing.

After all, they have those snake handlers in West Virginia.

-- ac at work

Re:Baiting Dangerous Animals - Xtreme Sport

[4of12]

which could lead to things like a stasis drug for deep space missions.

Like for the workplace, right?

Re:Baiting Dangerous Animals - Xtreme Sport

[gbulmash]

"Actually your[sic] totally wrong. The intentions for the bear suit were hibernation research, which could lead to things like a stasis drug for deep space missions."

So we'd have big fat astronauts when they left Earth, and they would have shed all that fat by the time they reached Mars. Then, prior to leaving Mars, they'd be eating sticks of butter and washing them down with milkshakes to fatten up for the trip home? And why bears? There are smaller, much less dangerous animals that hibernate, ya know.

Anyone who sells a bear-proof suit to the highest bidder is inviting them to go bear-baiting.

Guess we will have to...

[jessemckinney]

grin and bear it?

WHAT???

[qtone42]

No "Buy It Now" button?

damn.

--QTone

Obvious upgrade

[Carnildo]

Add a robotic exoskeleton to the Mark VII, and you'll have a decent set of powered armor.

Um...

[grantls]

Perhaps this is just what I need for a hobby I didn't even know I had yet??? I can imagine explaining that credit card bill to my wife...

I know i will get modded down for this but...

[razmaspaz]

WTF???

Wrestling with Grizzlies? That's just stupid.

[Anonymous Coward]

Its better to wrestle with smaller bears, since they're not
so big or mean. In the old days of pro wrestling
(60s and 70s), regional territories would do this.
I'm sure if you look around you can find Dory Funk's mention
of the time several people (including him) have
done a match with a smaller bear. Its a good story.

Not first post

Homer Simpson should buy this!

[antdude]

Because his custom bear suit didn't work so well according to The Fat and the Furriest (#EABF19 / SI-1419) episode. ;)

Re:Homer Simpson should buy this!

[Mr. No Skills]

Hmmm... Multiple references to the same thing.

Your linked article references original article's link:

The suit Homer creates is based on the one created by Troy James Hurtubise, a self-styled "close-quarter bear researcher" and seen the documentary "Project Grizzly." Visit the "More Info" link to find out more about this suit and to see a clip of Troy testing it out. More Info

Maybe Simpsons' writers read Slashdot? Could also be Canadian, except I seem to recall Homer stating once "Why would I leave America to visit America Junior?".

(Apologies to my friends to the north)

is this inspired by stormtroopers

[spazmolytic666]

...or what? did you see that thing?

open source corollary

[happyfrogcow]

Given enough bears, all suits of armor are shallow.

This is getting old....

[Anonymous Coward]

1) Build stupid, but cool, stuff
2) Advertise for sale on eBay
3) Submit link to /.
4) Show off cool stuff to the /. community without getting /.'ed
5) Cancel eBay acution because you are way too nerdy to actually sell your stuff
6) Profit?

Homer's suit!

[loginx]

Homer's Bear-proof suit was just as efficient, bullet-proof, and a lot cheaper.

Whatch out for your ass though...

What about Wookies?

[Anonymous Coward]

Would I be able to beat Chewbacca with this thing?

Re:Bear wrestling? On Slashdot?

[hool5400]

Hello down there. Are you okay? Excuse me. Bear... BEAR FUCKER. DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?

Bugger Simpsons quotes, Super Trooper quotes are most appropriate this time.

Paint it white . . .

[StefanJ]

. . . add some lace and a trail, and say it's your ex-wife-from-a-gas-giant-planet's environment suit / weddng dress.

That should up the bids.

Stefan

up-and-coming industry?

[mabu]

The seller's ebay ID is "bearsuits2" - I guess he's not the only one in the lucrative bear suit marketplace.

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[cexshun]

As there is no ebay member "bearsuits", there is a member "bearsuit". Although he/she has had no action on the account since August of 2001.

His Profile

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[sense_net]

The seller's ebay ID is "bearsuits2" - I guess he's not the only one in the lucrative bear suit marketplace.

Ten bucks says that the other "bearsuits" ebay member is a furry.

If you buy both these suits, does this make you a "steely"?

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[tgd]

Bet you a dollar the first one was for something kinky.

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[csmacd]

Anybody hear of any bear fatalities in July 2001....

Methinks they were eaten by a bear. Would be the simplest explination. :-)

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[Tablizer]

The seller's ebay ID is "bearsuits2" - I guess he's not the only one in the lucrative bear suit marketplace.

Knowing the shady stuff you find on Ebay, user "bearsuits" probably meant to type "baresuits".

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[Hatta]

Wonder if he has a mailing list. I can't wait to buy the masturbating bear suit.

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[Willard B. Trophy]

or is Troy James Hurtubise's widow ...

Prior Art?

[planetsphinx]

"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" -- Robot, Lost In Space

Re:Prior Art?

[Anonymous Meoward]

More like: "Drop.. the picnic basket.. creep."

Animals are not toys

[Gothmolly]

Just as well if this thing flops. Animals are living beings, not toys, and wild animals, especially grizzlies, are nothing to mess with. Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.

Re:Animals are not toys

[character_assassin]

Mom?

Re:Animals are not toys

[Simonetta]

Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.

That applies to Iraqis, too.

Re:Animals are not toys

[YrWrstNtmr]

Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.

Can we assume that you've moved out of your house (built on land that used to be some sort of natural, unbuilt spot inhabited by creatures of all sorts), and moved into some place on the planet that had no natural wild animals?
Like...well...actually nowhere.

Re:Animals are not toys

[Anonymous Coward]

> Animals are living beings, not toys, and wild animals, especially grizzlies, are nothing to mess with. Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.

Out of curiosity -- where do you live?

Now I'm not saying we shouldn't preserve what little natural habitat still exists for species like bears, but keep in mind that wherever your bed is today almost 100% certainly disrupted some creature's ecosystem.

Re:Animals are not toys

[the_mad_poster]

Yea, I'm sure they were perfectly content with being tormented by their good friend, Saddam, instead.

If you're going to make political quips, at least make them in the proper context and make sure they make sense.

Re:Animals are not toys

[corbettw]

That applies to Iraqis, too.

You're right, better to just visit the local zoo and admire Iraqis in a close simulation of their natural environment. Though you have to wonder, do Iraqis breed in captivity?

Re:Animals are not toys

[Milican]

Lets not forget his little angel sons who liked to rape and torture. Such nice gentlemen... Use the ol' Iron Maiden on people, etc... They are lucky they died in a gunfight.

If I saw their corpses I don't think spitting on them would be derogatory enough.

JOhn

Re:Animals are not toys

[Anonymous Coward]

This applies to the Osama bin Laden's of the world far more than the reverse you propose. Last I checked, we weren't messing with the Taliban when the WTC towers were hit. Kinda shoots the whole "you leave them alone and they'll leave you alone" theory all to hell now, doesn't it?

Re:Bear wrestling? On Slashdot?

[Anonymous Coward]

People here?
On Slashdot, E-bay, or Canada? All three are implicated in your comment.

Surely, if you mean Slashdot, you have implicated yourself by posting here... (resisting goat jokes).

You are surprised?

[Anonymous Coward]

Haven't you noticed how many people use OS X and iPod's on slashdot now? I mean come on, is there anything more GAY than thay?

"out of Hurtubise's mind"

[mccrew]

The suits are unique because they were built totally out of Hurtubise's mind, with no blueprints, drawings or schematics.

I'll second the "out of Hurtubise's mind" part.

Now if only that Brit would sell his Treb on e-bay

[DeafDumbBlind]

http://asylum.apocalypse.org/pub/u/zonker/fpp/html /trebuchet.html

More like Montgomery Burns last words in...

[mykepredko]

the Second "Treehouse of Horror".

Bones Crushed... Organs leaking vital fluids... Loss of Appetite...

Or, my favourite:

It's so simple, I don't know why nobody has seen this before. The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem is....Gak

myke

Re:More like Montgomery Burns last words in...

[myowntrueself]

"It's so simple, I don't know why nobody has seen this before. The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem is....Gak"

I fail to see what Klingon cuisine has to do with mathematics?

Re:More like Montgomery Burns last words in...

[Anonymous Coward]

...The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem is....


Too late anyway; Andrew Wiles got there first. "First Proof" as they say on Slashdot. ;)

Re:More like Montgomery Burns last words in...

[DrSchlock]

Or the classic Mike Scioscia -

Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate...

ObFiresignTheatre

[tbone1]

"Did you ever get into bear baiting?"
"I could never get my socks off."

Re:ObFiresignTheatre

[m0nk3ym1nd]

Wait a minute! Didn't I say that on the other side of the record?
I'd better check...

I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[theLOUDroom]

From the ebay auction:
"The suits are unique because they were built totally out of Hurtubise's mind, with no blueprints, drawings or schematics. "

Excuse me if I pass. I was really looking for a good grizzly bear suit, but how do you expect me to trust this if it's not built under a proper, ISO-9001 certified process?

Seriously, blueprints are a GOOD thing. Without them, you can't do simple things like stress calculations, etc. You kinda want to be able to answer questions like: "If the bear pushed me over and jumped on my chest, would it crush me?" theoretically before you do a real, live test.

If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Zathrus]

If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

I can see your point, but I hope your plan is to throw the thong in one direction, the gun in another, and run like hell.

Because any other plan when facing a pissed off Grizzly is going to get you dead. The Desert Eagle doesn't have enough stopping power... at least not unless you're a sharpshooter and happen to know where to shoot. You can unload the entire clip into a grizzly and kill it, sure, but it's going to live long enough to get to you and kill you.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Anonymous Coward]

I can see your point, but I hope your plan is to throw the thong in one direction, the gun in another, and run like hell.

So you're saying he's more aerodynamic without the thong? Ouch...

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Suidae]

The best protection from a pissed off grizzly is a friend who runs slower than you.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[American AC in Paris]

If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

Bears have no sense of decorum, and would not be adversely affected by the sight of a geek in a thong.

This leaves the desert eagle, which would probably just try to claw your eyes out. You'd be better off with a reliable, large-caliber pistol or something.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Pentagram]

The Desert Eagle doesn't have enough stopping power... at least not unless you're a sharpshooter and happen to know where to shoot.

The balls?

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[UrgleHoth]

From what I've read, bears can run 30mph. I don't think that you are going to outrun one.
Google search on "run from" bear safety

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Anonymous Coward]

Virtually any advice that you have ever been given regarding surviving a bear attack, is bull shit. You can not out run them, you can not out climb them, and you can not out swim them. When I worked in bear country, our briefing was basically, "If they get a hold of you, just hope that you pass out from the pain, and maybe it will get bored, otherwise you are toast". Avoidance and early detection are your best friends, confrontation leads to pain.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[patches]

Luckily you don't have to out run the bear, just be able to out run one of your friends, and make sure that friend is with you all the time...

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[1029]

If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

Nay, you've gotten it all wrong. Your method means carrying around a heavy chunk of metal for miles and miles, only to have the bear shove it up your ass at the end of the confrontation. All you really need is a .22 revolver and track shoes. Why? Shoot your hiking partner in the knee and run like hell :)

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Our Man In Redmond]

I can see your point, but I hope your plan is to throw the thong in one direction, the gun in another, and run like hell.

Because any other plan when facing a pissed off Grizzly is going to get you dead.

So will this one, since grizzlies can run faster than humans. The only defense against a bear I've ever heard that makes any sense is to make yourself look bigger and scarier than it is, and if possible sound louder than it does -- which I can't help but think would be difficult if you're out there wearing nothing but that thong.

And in point of fact, depending on just how pissed off that grizzly is, even the Big and Scary Defense might not work. If you've been daft enough to look like you're going to threaten a she-bear's cubs, you might as well tuck your head firmly between your legs, because it's time to kiss your ass goodbye.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Lugor]

Here is the old joke..

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"

"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Anonymous Coward]

If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

I'd trade the thong for some bullets if I were you.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Anonymous Coward]

Your better off with one of those cans of pepper spray the size of a fire extinguisher then that Desert Eagle.

The Desert Eagle is just going to make an angry bear hurt and angry, and likely not stop him before he gets to you.

The pepper spray, on the other hand, will blind him & screw up his nose. So now he's angry & hurt, but his primary senses, especially nose, are screwed up, so he's scared. And, if your lucky, might bail out rather then make little pieces out of you.

But the best plan is still avoidance.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Anonymous Coward]

Where to shoot? Stick the barrel in it's mouth and empty the clip. Mr. Grizzly isn't so tough with a severed spinal column.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Anonymous Coward]

BULLSHIT.
The desert eagle .50 caliber with a 7 round semi auto config has WAAY more power than you need to stop the average grizzly.
the only problem is its weight.
i'd recommend a .44 revolver as a really good bear defense. the .44 mag round can take down any grizzly. reports of 9mm FMJ shots to the spine are also reported to take down grizzlys BTW.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Vellmont]

Seriously, blueprints are a GOOD thing. Without them, you can't do simple things like stress calculations, etc. You kinda want to be able to answer questions like: "If the bear pushed me over and jumped on my chest, would it crush me?" theoretically before you do a real, live test.


Very true, but you use the skills you've got when designing something. I saw a TV show about this guy a few years ago. In it they show him doing tests of the suit where he gets hit by a truck, hit with baseball bats, etc. I don't know how close to life all the testing he did, but the suit is very tough.


If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

Sure, but the point of the suit is supposed to be so researchers can study grizzly bears up close. Killing the grizzlies would be kind of problematic to that goal.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[DoctorHibbert]

That would make a great sig.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[ColdWetDog]

Actually, here in Southeast Alaska were Brown bears are quite prevelent, there is an ongoing discussion on what (if anything) to do when a bear attack appears immenent. Since I spend a lot of time in the woods, these discussions are of some less than casual import to me.

A couple of things have become clear:

- Hunters are the most at risk (creeping around in the woods, but smelling like high heaven, they seem to really annoy the animals.

- Hikers (who makes lots of noise and still smell like high heaven to a bear) seem to be relatively immune, especially in groups.

- Rifles and shotguns are effective if you know how to use them and have time to set up and aim. Both of these points seem to be forgotten by most people who carry them.

- Pistols, even the large bore / monster pistols (Ruger 460 / Desert Eagle) have a pretty poor track record

- The combination of a large bottle of 10% pepper spray and signalling flares seems to be the most useful. The pepper spray pushes them back for a moment and then the flares seem to scare them off. Alternatively, any survivors of an unsuccesful attempt at displacing Mr. or Ms. Bruin can use them to summon assistance.

Your mileage may vary.

I wonder what the REAL inspiration was......

[Marqui]

Wife: Honey, can you go cut us some firewood?
Hubby: I would if I didnt have to worry about that darn grizzy out there! Plus its dark, I can't chop wood AND hold the flashlight, I only have TWO arms you know! You figure out a way and I'll chop all the wood you want!

You're right

[Anonymous Coward]

Animals are food, not toys, and shouldn't be messed with. My mother told me not to play with my food.

Re:You're right

[Anonymous Coward]

Bear Burgers, anyone?

Re:You're right

[moojuece]

bear burger is actually pretty damn tastey my father in law hunts bear here in minnesota and the meat as burger is awesome, even better in chili if you get the chance and like to eat the foods you have evolved to eat i would highly recommend it

Re:You're right

[Bensmum]

No, it does not taste good, it tastes gamey and is more work to chew than it is worth. Saying random dumb shit tastes good does not make you cool, honestly. If bear meat actually tasted good, we would raise bears to eat. We do not, we raise cows and pigs because cows and pigs taste good. And we did not eveolve to eat bears, don't be so fucking dumb.

Re:You're right

[nettdata]

Totally depends on where the bear came from (dump bear vs. wild), and how you cook the bear.

Dump bears taste like crap, because of what they're eating. Northern BC bear, however, is very tastey.

It should be slow cooked (crock pot, baked, etc.) as opposed to being BBQ'd, as it does get very tough when cooked quickly.

That was before astroturfing /.

[Anonymous Coward]

Just wait - there has to be a sucker here on /. with a little more dot-com bubble money to burn.

Great advice...

[turnstyle]

I was in Alaska a number of years ago, and my favorite bit of advice from a camping guide:

dont sleep in the clothes that you cook in

Re:Great advice...

[Anonymous Coward]

On our drunken camping trips, the advice should read:
Do not cook the clothes you sleep in

Re:Great advice...

[ScottGant]

These two guys were out camping in the Alaska wilderness. During the night, this huge grizzly rips through their tent trying to grab one of them to eat.

They both panic and start to scramble out of the tent, but one stops and puts his shoes on.

"What are you doing" the other says "you can't possibly out run that thing".

The tent-mate says while getting up "I don't have to out run the bear...I just have to outrun YOU".

Thank you...Thank you....I'm hear all zee week...try the fish...

Re:Great advice...

[JesseL]

My favorite advice for people in bear country:
If you're going to carry a handgun for bear defense, have the front sight removed.

It won't hurt as much when the bear shoves it up you ass.

Re:Great advice...

[Anonymous Coward]

That's funny.

Though it's bullshit, as I have gone handgun hunting for grizzly many times.

If you're using a little .38, perhaps your advice makes sense. But not with a .454 Casul.

Re:Great advice...

[Anonymous Coward]

Isreali Desert Eagle .50

Won't jam in the sand, won't freeze in the snow, turn a large section of bear torso into jelly at twenty paces.

Re:Great advice...

[Anonymous Coward]

Nah, the DE is too hard to hold with that wide wide grip/magazine.

The .454 Casul by the way, is more powerfull. And it's a revolver so there is no issue of jamming at all, even though the DE is reliable as it is.

Not to mention the fact that the .454 is VERY accurate. With an eight inch barrel you could take a grizz down at 200 yards...which also is the furthest silo in Silo Shooting competition (the ram btw).

Re:Great advice...

[JesseL]

There's a big difference between the requirements for an offensive weapon and a defensive one.

With an offensive weapon you have much greater control over the dynamics of your encounter. You choose the the place and the time to make your shot. You get to aim more carfully at the bears vital areas. If it doesn't look like a good shot you don't take it.

In defensive situtations it's totally different. The shit has already hit the fan. The bear is coming for you and you need to stop him ASAP. You don't have time to line up the perfect shot. You need a firearm you can point in a hurry and that hits with real authority. A .454 casul will do it but you'd invariably be better off with a long gun. Most experienced people recomend somthing like a pump shotgun loaded with slugs or a .450 Marlin lever gun. There are numerous stories of people who got lucky and killed a bear with a single .22 or 9mm but there's a lot more stories of people who were mauled after the bear soaked up 6 .44 magnums.

This is a general truism of weaponcraft - assasins may favor .22s but the defenders usually choose .45s. It's all about who initiates force.

Sounds like a Bill Engvall bit ...

[tbone1]

... where he mentioned a shark-proof suit. "There's only one way to test this."

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[account_deleted]

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Actually..........

[Anonymous Coward]

My girlfriend got very interested after she read about the robotic third arm...then I explained to her that it really is only an arm

In that case...

[asoap]

1 in every 5 suits are going to come with a can of coke to call the bear patrol.

-asoap

Pursuit of a Dream

[serutan]

There's something inspiring about a lone inventor relentlessly pursuing a goal, even if it seems like more of an obsession.

"Canadian inventor Troy Hurtubise spent 10 years perfecting the Ursus Mark-VI suit of armour."

"Perfecting" might be an exaggeration. Every time he tested any of the suits against an actual bear (unmanned), it was always Bear 1, Suit 0. Still, I have to admire Hurtubise's perseverence.

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

These look useful

[IchBinDasWalross]

I'll wear it to work and never get fired again.

Re:These look useful

[strictnein]

I'll wear it to work and never get fired again.

Again? You've already been fired, so they don't have to fire you again.

Robotic third arm?

[Anonymous Coward]

Interesting euphemism.

But what about the bear?

[gmletzkojr]

I'm a bear, you insensitive clod!

mirror

[whizkid042]

http://www.unixauthority.com/~fiskeja/mirror/www.n fb.ca/grizzly/ The site was a bit slow for me, so here you are...

Go Zaphod

[Anonymous Coward]

The third arm was added for ski-boxing.

Inquiring minds want to know....

[avkillick]

What happened to the previous owner???

The suit can handle a giant bear

[geeber]

But it is no match for the power of Slashdot!

Precursor for Elementals

[Renraku]

Obviously someone here has played games from the Battletech series, or has read the books. Could this be a good precursor for the 'powered armor' being looked at seriously by the military?

eBay Slashvertisments will be the death of me yet

[Mannerism]

Damn, if only I hadn't spent all my money on that Star Destroyer...

finally we have a contender

[Anonymous Coward]

I am a rich man, and there is little I cannot buy. But this will complete my plans for the ultimate match of humour, fighting prowess and pure home-made technology. In my secret underground lair I will host a cage match, fight-to-the-death called:

Ursus Mach 4 anti-bear suit VS. THE TRON DUDE

Obligatory Simpsons Ref

[Slak]

I'd bid if it had speed holes to make it faster!

Special Features?

[mauthbaux]

Suit includes, " a robotic third arm "... just imagine the possibilities (other than wrestling with bears of course)

Or try imagining what he was thinking of when he decided to add it in as a feature... I'm not sure which is scarier.

But..

[Uruviel]

"But there is a man in it..." "Yeah, that was the previous owner" And who wants a Grizzly proof suit annyway, I walk alot in the forest, but I never encountered a bear.

what a bunch of junk

[Anonymous Coward]

the old saying claims: everyday an idiot is born if you catch him is yours, exploit him!!!. The same principle applies to the bum who buys such amazing load of crap, those "robots" are a disgrace for the genre and a 2 years old can come with a better poduct.

Definetly ebay is like the fox network, both sell any kind of garbage.

My 1/2 cent :)

Why don't they invent the moron proof forest?

[ivanmarsh]

Every time a bear attacks a human they track the bear down and kill it. Should we really be training bears to attack human shaped things?

Re:Why don't they invent the moron proof forest?

[Anonymous Coward]

We tried that, but Americans kept showing up anyways. This suit was the response to the failure of "moron proof forest v1.0", if you must let americans into your forests, at least give them a suit that gives them a chance.

Now I can comment in the VI vs EMACS threads...

[CarrionBird]

... in comfort and style!

other uses

[Tablizer]

[zip, snap, tie, zip, tie, zip]... Boss, can I have a raise?...

interesting statistics on the website...

[BinaryJono]

from the bear page: From a standing start, a grizzly can run 100 metres over rough terrain in just over 6 seconds.

from the suit page: Trigger finger-activated "blaster can" on right arm, capable of spraying a 38 centimetre (15 in.) diameter cone of bear repellant for a distance of 4.6 metres (15 ft.), for a duration of 7 seconds.

so in other words, i better be able to run in my 150 pound suit 100 meters over rough terrain to safety within 7 seconds or i'm dinner...

Excellent!

[pheesh]

Forget the ribbed condoms! With this I'm REALLY ready for my anniversary!

Man did I read that title wrong...

[zapp]

"Project Grizzly Bear-Proof Suit Up For Auction"

I thought this was some sort of law suit up for action about some project about a mathematical Proof called the "Grizzly Bear-Proof"

craziest mis-read ever!

Testament to natural might

[xant]

Look at all the armor and technology necessary to protect the smartest organism in the known universe from an animal. Sure, it's a fairly smart animal, and it's certainly a big animal, and it will fucking kill you a lot if you get close to it and piss it off without wearing a bear suit, but come on. It took us thousands of years of technological progress to come up with protection equal to its ferocity.

Next: Suits to protect you from sharks with laser beams.

Re:Testament to natural might

[Moofie]

OK, in the time that it took bears to evolve into bears from marmots, humans evolved from marmots into a space-faring species with advanced tool-making and environment modifying abilities.

Even with the bear's thousands of years of evolutionary progress, tremendous strength, and impressive cunning, I can still kill a bear (or any other creature on the planet) at my whim with minimal risk to myself.

Just another perspective.

Of course, the suit is not designed to kill bears. It is designed to protect humans who study bears. How many bears study humans more thoroughly than what is necessary to tip over a trash can looking for food?

Re:Testament to natural might

[Suidae]

It took us thousands of years of technological progress to come up with protection equal to its ferocity.

Actually, our usual protection works much better. This protection consists of two strategies, 1: Stay away from Bears, and 2: Don't piss off Bears.

Failing those, minor stratigies such as "Only piss off small Bears" and "Run faster than your Friends" come into play.

Re:Testament to natural might

[Wes Janson]

This suit isn't really what I would call "protection". Personally I think a good Abrams or even an old Panzer would make far better protection against a grizzly.

Re:Testament to natural might

[captainClassLoader]

Actually, bears are pretty bright. A documentary I saw a few years ago showed that some of them at Yellowstone have learned that you can pop the back window of a minivan off in a single piece by striking a single sharp blow at the top of the window frame. Then they'd crawl through the opening they had made into the car and eat whatever drew them to that vehicle in the first place. They'd do several cars a night that way. While the interiors of the cars were pretty much trashed, some of the cars that were "bear-glarized" in this fashion had very little external damage. (Okay, so there was this one poor food-filled Geo Metro that some big-ass male sort-of put on like a sweatshirt, but besides that one, most of the exteriors were surprisingly unharmed by this trick.)

Basically, to the bears that knew this technique, cars are essentially just metal and glass Tupperware containers, and are about as difficult to get into.

Re:Testament to natural might

[dasmegabyte]

Actually, we don't need all that armor and technology to protect us from bears. We need it to allow us to get arbitrarily CLOSE to bears with a certain guarantee of survivability. Just like we don't need a cruise ship to swim in the ocean, but we might need one to travel to Europe without dying.

All the technology needed to protect you from bears, in general, is a steel pot and a heavy stick. Hit A with B, and bears will generally leave you alone. A "rape whistle" is useful as well. This is how I've survived three bear encounters in the Adirondacks.

Bears do not like loud noises; they generally mean "this food source is not worth the trouble." Enough clanging and whistling, the average bear will climb the nearest tree until you go away, giving enough time for you to get your bearline down and pack up.

Of course, a smarter than average bear will steal your pic-a-nic basket.

Re:Testament to natural might

[Moofie]

Hence "impressive cunning".

A bear can figure out how to get food out of a minivan. I don't think a bear could figure out how to drive one, much less build one.

Re:Testament to natural might

[DoctorHibbert]

You should see the suit that protects you from giant boulders. Wow those boulders have a lot of natural might! Testify!

I'd be scared of buying it!

[Arethereanyleft]

As a coincidence, I saw the Project Grizzly documentary a couple of days ago, and I don't think I'd want my life linked with this guy's in any way. I'm paranoid enough as it is!

Someone wondered why he was selling it - most likely, he's trying to finance the next one. The guy seems to be obsessed with making these suits. According to the documentary, there are government agencies who are interested in the suits for things like firefighting and rescue, but he didn't seem like the kind of person who would get along with goverment agencies.

Re:I'd be scared of buying it!

[Anonymous Coward]

if i can get a modified one to protect me from my wife, i'd buy it today.

and no, the one's on ebay won't stop her.

Re:I'd be scared of buying it!

[UrgleHoth]

Speaking of concern for one's safetly, I wonder if and when the suit will be tied into a Darwin Award

Re:I'd be scared of buying it!

[YOU LIKEWISE FAIL IT]

I would say that the reason he's selling the Ursus suits is to raise money for his spruiking of his new 'invention', a type of bakeable heat retardant paste. ( Ingredients include diet Coke. )

More info at Canadian Business Magazine, including a strange article title that recalls the Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

YLFI

A likely buyer...

[Allen Zadr]

I just thought of this (I'm probably slow), but wouldn't Ripley's want them? The first suit was featured on their show, it would seem like the type of site-gag that you'd see in a "Ripley's Believe it or Not" storefront museum.

Obligatory Super Troopers Reference

[n1ywb]

Bear-fucker, do you need assistance??

Tu quoque is a common fallacy

[Gothmolly]

-1, Ad hominem

Re:Tu quoque is a common fallacy

[Anonymous Coward]

-1, Ad hominem, is the best comeback you could come up with?

Then again, I should have expected it. Most of the animal rights activists around here, when presented with rational evidence or arguments, tend to either mutter unintelligibly or scream incoherently for awhile. I guess you fall into the former category!

Re:Tu quoque is a common fallacy

[Gothmolly]

You sound like a typical product of modern U.S. public education. Since you do not recognize it, tu quoque is a phrase of Latin, an ancient language, but one still used in literate circles. Identification of an argument as a logical fallacy is something typically learned by those who study logic, again, your public school failed you. What is it like going through life with such a limited understanding of reason, a foggy view of reality, and no literacy skills with which to extract yourself from the pit you wake up to each day, without the moral courage to post using your real ID? It must be awful.

Re:Tu quoque is a common fallacy

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't you mean "Ad Hominem Tu Quoque", the "you too" fallacy? Because when you say "Ad Hominem" you're describing a different fallacy, "Against the man". And when you say "Tu Quoque" by itself, well, you're assuming that WE're assuming the ad hominem part which is sloppy even for a philosophy student. Tsk, tsk.

Just asking.

Yours truly,
A typical product of modern U.S. public education

Re:Tu quoque is a common fallacy

[Anonymous Coward]

What is it like going through life with such a limited understanding of reason, a foggy view of reality, and no literacy skills with which to extract yourself from the pit you wake up to each day, without the moral courage to post using your real ID?

It doesn't change the way the bear tastes.

Can bears laugh?

[JonTurner]

>>"Voice-activated recording device... to record... "

...the sound of everyone laughing at you -- including the bears -- because you look like an evil Power Ranger in that black and silver getup. And what's up with the paint scheme? I mean, damn, are all those red & black chevrons on the "Mark VI" (love that hand-painted sign!) really necessary? It's like camoflage for hiding in a Godzilla movie set. Good grief!

My idea of a "bear-proof suit" is dress slacks and sportcoat + a Ruger .44 Magnum in a Bianchi holster.

Re:Can bears laugh?

[hopews]

From what I've heard with regard to handguns and bears, the only thing a gun will do is anger the bear, or if you're really lucky, inflict a fatal wound which it will die from about 10 minutes after it had mauled you to death.

Re:Can bears laugh?

[paganizer]

A .44 is not really like other handguns.
Back when I was apparently courting death (introspectively speaking) I used to hunt Boar with one; that, or a .50 is about the only thing that will stop one with one shot that is not a "custom" gun.
With a bear you would have to hit in a vital spot, most likely. On a human, you would just have to shoot one close to the target and they die from the sonic boom/heart attack.

Re:Can bears laugh?

[Short Circuit]

I'd be more worried about being mistaken as an alien. At least, in bear country.

used to be $500,000

[SethJohnson]

When the first slashdot article on him came out, he was selling the suit for $500,000 (US). Since it appears it didn't sell at that price, it seems as if he's throwing it on eBay to see what it will fetch. $5,000 is really not a very high starting bid. Keep in mind the thousands of hours he put into making these suits and he's making less than a buck an hour.

Practical use? There's all kinds of expensive crap on the market with no practical use. Some people call it art.

But he autographs his books, too

[Chagatai]

I like the autograph on the book-I wonder if it comes with the suits. To my boy love daddy (heart)

Don't mind the teeth marks and deep claw marks

[crovira]

Its only "slightly used" and the blood should wash right out.

Oh, dear god!

[breon.halling]

I shudder to think what would happen if the winning bid is from... A GRIZZLY BEAR!

We'd all be SOL, I can guarantee it.

I, for one, would welcome our new grizzly bear overlord.

Anybody remember the documentary?

[brutusbuck]

The main things I remember were the "tests" he performed on the suits. Tests like the time honored "hit by a truck" test, the "rolling down a big friggin hill" test, and the "swing a giant log at my head" test. Forget the suit. I'll buy it for those tapes!

Also for sale...

[El_Ge_Ex]

Parachute, used only once, slight stain.

Parent appears to be entirely fantasy

[Paul Crowley]

I can't find any references that back up the parent's account. Kodiak ripped off some chainmail while the suit was left in his cage, so the live test against Kodiak was cancelled. In all the manned tests, the bears could not be persuaded to attack - the suit looks too alien to be worth it.

Re:Parent appears to be entirely fantasy

[whoever57]

In all the manned tests, the bears could not be persuaded to attack - the suit looks too alien to be worth it.

If so, it seems to me that the suit worked -- although on this level a working suit could probably be constructed out of cardboard and duct tape for a lot less money and effort!

Re:Parent appears to be entirely fantasy

[corbettw]

although on this level a working suit could probably be constructed out of cardboard and duct tape

Sounds great. You go test it. Don't forget to have a friend with a 10x zoom camcorder hiding in a nearby tree.

Favorite Simpsons death saying

[s.d.]

From Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl Halloween episode:

Lucite...hardening...Must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from Battlestar Gallactica. Best...death...ever!

Yeah...

[sirgoran]

That will get you chicks.

Wear that for a night (or knight) on the town and how could they resist?

-Goran

I'm reminded of...

[painehope]

this cartoon from penny arcade

Large amounts of chemicals must have inspired this suit - that's usually where I get my weirder ideas from.

Smart Guy...

[!Xabbu]

This guy has been on Discovery up here several times recently. He came up with a compound that can withstand extreme heat. Its light as a feather too.. They had him sitting in a chair with a buddy of his blasting what was apparently one of the hottest welding torches you can find onto a helmet with this stuff on it.. which was in turn attached to his head.. something like 6-7000 degrees of heat.. He then proceeded to put a barbie into a little house covered in the stuff.. did the same thing and not even the hair was singed.. oh.. and one of the main ingredients of this stuff is apparently Coke(tm)

The guy comes off as being a total hick, but that man has some seriously smart genes...

Not surprised its not selling though.. $5000 minimum for something that has no practical use? Oh.. other then surviving bear attacks... you know.. seeing as we all have the space in our minivans for a survival suit that probably weighs in at the same weight... /me wonders how long it takes to suit up and if a bear would wait if you asked nicely.

Here's Your Sign

[ticklemeozmo]

There's only one way to test that. "Hold my sign, I don't want to lose it."

With respects to Bill Engvall

Hmmm...

[chowdmouse]

My boss would not stand a chance.

Military Exoskeleton

[Gunfighter]

This looks like something the military would whip out of a classified lab. You just need a few enhancements to complete the device:

• Long life energy source with the ability to recharge in the field or from a variety of sources (fuel cell?)
• 360 degree view from the cockpit
• Real-time medical monitoring of the occupant
• Powered movement for traveling long distances, lifting heavy objects, and close quarters combat. Perhaps even a small, tracked (as in tank, not tracked as in RFID) "docking station" type device for travelling long distances
• Night vision
• Make the armor bullet-proof
• Targeting system with LASER range finder
• Weapons... lots of 'em
• Enhanced communications for live battlefield updates
• Rapid deployment system (perhaps a vehicle designed to carry a squad of them into the fringes of a battle, whether it be by land or air)
• Ability to weatherproof and modify the system to suit different environments (desert, jungle, urban, cold weather, etc.)
• Multimedia display and recording with the ability to relay pictures/sound/video to HQ
• Remote kill switch to power down and/or disable rogue or compromised unit(s)

When you can't get laid...

[JaF893]

Have you bought other bear suits and then had difficulty getting laid? With this new ground breaking suit it is simply no longer an issue.

If in the unlikely event that you purchase our bear proof suit from eBay and still can't get laid simply use the 'robotic third arm' - satisfaction guaranteed.

Robotic "Third Arm"?

[Esion Modnar]

OK, so the suit is for protecting the wearer from the grizzly, but what is the 3rd arm for? Hmmm...

"You got a pretty mouth, griz. Come on, squeal like a pig!"

Must be the special Ozarks model.

Troy Hurtubise...

[Humorously_Inept]

On Discovery in Canada, they showed this guy and his latest invention: Fire Paste. This guy's a certifiable looney, although the Fire Paste does work remarkably well. You have to watch him sell it to see what I mean because he's like an infomercial salesman on crack. He sells the product like snake oil.

Among his suggestions is that the use of Fire Paste would have prevented both the World Trade Center collapse and the destruction of Columbia on re-entry to Earth. Another of his claims is that Fire Paste is non-toxic and he put it in his mouth to demonstrate, but when he finally had it analyzed at a local university they suggested that he should not put it in his mouth.

Apparently, Diet Coke is the main ingredient...

They look like ANIME costumes!

[farrellj]

Maybe some Japanese Anime or Manga artist will buy them and use them as ispiration for charactors!

ttyl
Farrell

obligatory st quote

[Anonymous Coward]

"Hello down there."

"Are you okay?"

"Excuse me... bear... BEAR FUCKER. Do you need assistance?"

Re:obligatory st quote

[sysopd]

for those who haven't seen the movie...

http://www.crosswinds.net/~kdidymus/sounds/st9.rm

This guys could have also saved Columbia...

[asoap]

This guy is kind of a Canadian cult hero. I didn't realize it until a co-worker pointed out that he is also the creator of "fire paste".

I knew about the moron who created the bear suit, and also created fire paste. I didn't realize it was the same moron.

Anyway, he created this paste which can handle high tempuratures. He has even coated his head with it and then had someone put a torch to it. To demonstrate how effective and safe his product is.

He also claims that his product could have saved the Columbia shuttle had they used fire paste to patch up the whole.

Here is a link to an article

I've even seen him on the Canadian discovery channel (The show was: Daily Planet), where he was deomonstrating how amaizing his fire paste is. Where he even ate some saying how perfectly safe the product was. Afterwards, they took his stuff to the University of Toronto where they could analyze it. Which they found out that it contained large amounts of poisonous substances.

An interesting note. On the show he let people in on one of his secret ingredients, which was diet coke. It turns out that helps create a bunch of tiny bubbles in the paste when it hardens, helping it to be a good insulator.

This guys is an all around dolt, but for some reason he's insanely funny.

-asoap

Is it a human in a suit or a bear?

[physick]

If the suit is 7 feet tall, the grizzly might just think it is another bear rather than a human.

If I were inside the suit, I am not sure I would want the bear to think I am a rival rather than dinner... a bear might not be hungry when he sees me, but he will always dislike competition.

"It's Just a Flesh Wound!"

[IceAgeComing]

"Come on, ya pansy, fight like a man!"

Re:"It's Just a Flesh Wound!"

[Progman3K]

*obligatory Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference, move your audio slider to "british accent"*

'tis but a scratch!

I've had WORSE!

LOL

NFB site

[Anonymous Coward]

Here's the nfb page for it. Unfortunately you can't buy it online, but if you can find it at your local video store, it is definitely worth the time to watch.

This was the subject of...

[shawn(at)fsu]

A discovery show. The guy that made this suite did all these tests and made all these redesigns. He would say, if this suite can handle a cinder block released from X feet it can surely handle a Grizzly.

The funny thing was he kept on making all these tests and statements that it would simulate an actual attack but he never "put his money where his mouth was" At least when they invited the metal mesh suite for shark attacks someone tried it out.

If any one actually saw the program they can attest to how unscientifically this whole testing affair was carried out. It was almost comical. Their was a test as mentioned above with where they man stood in the suite while his two assistants (a term I use lightly) attached a cinder block or similar item to a rope and hung it from a branch. They would pull it back/higher in stages. At one point one of the assistants thought he heard the man in the suite say go all the way and let it go, when it was only supposed to be a marginal increase. Like I said it looked like something out of the Beverly Hillbillies.

Re:This was the subject of...

[Snowmit]

If you've seen the documentary you'd know that he tried to get it field tested but that no Grizzlies would come near him.

Where to buy one

[Tablizer]

...at the shopping maul :-)

More far left comments! ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.

But "we're" Americans!

No practical use?!

[Anonymous Coward]

You obvious don't live in CANADA!!

(There's a bear outside my window right now... you don't know how many times I've just pissed my pants cuz a grizzly was standing between me and the out-house!)

Enough to scare the bejeezes out of any Grizzly!

[mikerbob]

Imagine you're a bear, foraging in the woods and up walks (lumbers?!) THAT! Of course you probably would have heard it a mile away and high-tailed (ok, stubby-tailed) it outta there.

If you did manage to 'sneak' up on a bear in that thing with thoughts of wrestle that's got to be one dumbass (or deaf) bear.

Hmm..

[downix]

Ya know, if I had the money I'd buy them to reverse-engineer it all...

Or I'd just buy myself a Lexus, still deciding on it all.

That's nothing!

[dr bacardi]

Don't need a big suit... I gotta rock that keeps tigers away, I'm sure I can modify it to work on bears.

Re:eBay Slashvertisments will be the death of me y

[dasmegabyte]

I bit on the Back to the Future Delorean. If only I could turn back time...

Mark I through V?

[WasteOfAmmo]

One has to wonder what happened with the prototypes previous to the Mark VI.

[control] OK all systems green, release the grizzly bear.

[tester] You want a piece of me? I'll show you what a real bear hug is!

[grizzly] {hmmm, another chewy toy...}

[tester] aaaaaaaeeeeeiiiiii!

[control] Oh my... quick turn the cameras off!!

[project leader] Someone phone HR and tell them not to cancel that job posting quite yet...sigh!

Merlin.

Can it be used to fight the undead?

[swb]

No, seriously. In the "$Daypart of the Dead" movies, the people always are in bare shouldered clothes. With a suit like that and a machete, you could do some serious damage and not worry about getting bit.

Re:Enough to scare the bejeezes out of any Grizzly

[iggymanz]

I've seen a truck that a grizzly have torn the doors off of like they were so much tinfoil. I really don't think they're be scared.....

Can you imagine...

[Apiakun]

Can you imagine a bearwolf cluster of these?

well, they did adress the problem...

[da5idnetlimit.com]

But you're in for some deception...

They used...diapers.

As in "Hello, I need the ones for 180-240 lbs babies"

btw, it was a nice thing they did, as the apollo had no toilets...

-1 OFF TOPIC

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah because we all know that Iraq had everything to do with 9/11.

They work!

[g0bshiTe]

I have seen video of these suits in action, not against bears mind you, but the guy wore it and let a pickup truck hit him at like 35 mph. He got up and did it again.

To those of you who think the military or police departments would use this like the guy had hoped, forget it. It has one flaw, the suit is so heavy that if you fell you would not be able to get back up without assistance. Seeing as how the thing is wrought with blind spots, it would render it useless for the military or law enforcement.

I Really Needed This!

[Master of Transhuman]

when I robbed those banks!

You'll never take me alive, copper!

Warranty?

[Bob the Hamster]

I wonder if it comes with a warranty?

Pathetic joke...

[Anonymous Coward]

Is that your third robotic arm or are your just pleased to see me?

Original Slashdot Article

[Observador]

was the one that finally got me hooked on slashdot, and become a daily reader.

I don't know if it's an optimistic projection of the past, but I remember thinking how incredible it was tha so many people could offer so many interesting and insighfull things to say... it (the article) got me off yahoo chat and into news/forums like slashdot and geekpress.

In comparison, today's comments have been mostly funny, with few 'insightfulls' or 'interestings'...

Topic tailor-made

[rocketjam]

This topic is tailor-made to elicit only "Funny" replies!

woohoo!

[dummondwhu]

I'm going hiking in grizzly country this summer and this should do nicely. Along with the 40-50 lbs. of gear I already had, I'll throw in a 147lb grizzly-proof suit! Plus, it should help if I get run over by a car in the wilderness. I hear that's a real problem.

The parent wasn't making a logical argument.

[Vellmont]

But simply pointing out your hypocritical belief. It's an attack on YOU not your argument. People don't really like listening to others that don't follow their own advice.

chain mail?

[brer_rabbit]

Canadian inventor Troy Hurtubise spent 10 years perfecting the Ursus Mark-VI suit of armour, which is made of chain mail, galvanized steel, titanium, high-tech plastic, and liquid rubber.

If had just used chain mail +5 he wouldn't need to use steel, titanium, etc.

Testing On Suit

[Anonymous Coward]

Testing On Suit:

1. Truck: 18 collisions with a three-tonne truck travelling at 50 kilometres an hour (30 m.p.h)
2. Rifle: Shot at with 12 gauge shotgun, using "Sabot" slugs
3. Arrows: Armour-piercing arrows, fired from 45 kilogram (100 lb.) bow
4. Tree Trunk: Two collisions with a 136 kilgram (300 lb.) tree from a height of 9 metres (30 ft.)
5. Bikers: Assault by three bikers -- the largest, 2.05 metres (6 ft. 9 in.) tall, weighing 175 kilograms (385 lbs.). Biker armaments: splitting ax, planks, baseball bat.
6. Escarpment: Jumped off escarpment, falling over 15.25 metres (over 150 ft.).

Alien vs Me!

[Roadkills-R-Us]

This would be really handy in case of
an invasion of aliens (the type Ripley
fought). Not so sure about predators.