Revenge of the Sith TV Spots Revealed

Bobert@flixnjoystix.com writes "StarWars.com has unveiled three TV spots for STAR WARS: EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH!" The three spots are shorter than the longer trailer that has been seen earlier, and a little bit more pop action than the dark trailer that gave me hope. Anyway, here is Spot 1, Spot 2, and Spot 3.

Comments

High cheese factor

[BWJones]

A little more pop action? Gave you hope? *Sob!* "But I love her sooo much". Seriously. Starwars has been moving more and more to a TV soap opera type thing for a while now using tired old tools many of which have been borrowed from other films of the past. Yoda hanging on to a ledge? This seems to be a common theme in Star Wars films and perhaps action films of all kinds. Remember the quote from another geek fav? Run you fools!. Slapstick comments from C3PO and the scream of R2D2 are just stereotyped now. And the use of this particular narrator for the TV spots is just silly. Seems a little soft, like they got the narrator for a feel good Disney movie to appeal to the kiddies. I expect if I saw the film, one might find many other completely cheesy references and pop culture call outs like explaining away the Force by invoking pop culture understanding of molecular biology. That was weak as can be and completely ruined the magic of having Sir Alec Guiness explain the Force as "It's an energy that surrounds all living things.. The best films create an atmosphere that allows you to populate many of the questions with your own imagination rather than spelling everything out.

Don't get me wrong. I loved the first two Star Wars films.... well A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, but it started falling off for me with Revenge....whoops, Return of the Jedi. The next two had me shaking my head in disbelief. How could they go so wrong? What happened? Ewoks and Jar Jar and lightly veiled racism combined with poor dialogue. Yeah, the modelers at ILM are still some of the coolest, the animation is fabulous, John Williams is John Williams, but as a franchise, Star Wars has lost that magic for me........

For any aspiring film directors out there, please use the following guidelines as listed in order of importance.

Story>Writing>Acting>Direction>Cinematography>Ef fe cts/costume.

Re:High cheese factor

[telecsan]

Actually, I think it was "Fly, you fools!"

Re:High cheese factor

[Tibor the Hun]

You know what annoys me?
that all the freaking sentient aliens are pretty much the same size.
why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash.
Why are they all the same size?

Re:High cheese factor

[Silverlancer]

Story>Writing>Acting>Direction>Cinematography>Effe cts/costume.

I really hope directors are reading this. They still cannot understand that story is the most important thing in a movie. No matter how good anything else is, without story and good acting, its all bullshit. Matrix Revolutions is great proof of this.

Re:High cheese factor

[gowen]

that all the freaking sentient aliens are pretty much the same size.

Gghmmm. One major exception, forgotten you have. Ghhghmmmm.

Re:High cheese factor

[Tibor the Hun]

sure, there's yoda, and ewoks and those little guys in hoods with yellow eyes, and then there are wookies on the other side, but I mean, how about something twice the size of a wookie?
like the big orcs in LOTR. it was so cool to see them smash around and being used as heavy infantry.

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

Why are they all the same size?

This was explained in StarTrek the Next Generation. It's been too many years but what I remember was that sentient beings were created (forked?) from a common image (? ancestor or creator). Thus, they will all share common body arrangements.

Re:High cheese factor

[Stibidor]

Long live John Williams! Hear, hear!

Re:High cheese factor

[DrLex]

Story>Writing>Acting>Direction>Cinematography>Effe cts/costume.

Funny how most of the movies made today are best described with the above line, but only after replacing the '>' by '<'.

Re:High cheese factor

[CoderBob]

Amen. If only I could bill those two numbskulls for the time I can never get back for that bomb of a movie.

Re:High cheese factor

[Tenebrious1]

You know what annoys me? that all the freaking sentient aliens are pretty much the same size. why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash. Why are they all the same size?

Jabba is pretty big. Maybe the Hutts killed off all the other 15 foot giants to control the underworld, and thus you don't see any other giant creatures talking trash.

Re:High cheese factor

[justforaday]

I thought it's cos it was easier to fit people into the costumes in the 70s and 80s. Shows what I know...

Re:High cheese factor

[TheWickedKingJeremy]

Story>Writing>Acting>Direction>Cinematography>Effe cts/costume.

Slight nitpick... Direction is definitely more important than Acting, because good directors tend to create good performances. That's why good directors always seem to get good performances out of their subjects, whereas bad directors do not. McGregor can act, but he was so wooden in the latest two star wars films because he had nothing to work with (i.e. Lucas is a bad director). I suppose one could argue that the real problem with the last two Star Wars films was the writing, but I definitely lean towards it being a problem with Lucas' direction.

Also I would omit "Story" and just say "Writing", because some films have very little actual story/plot, but have excellent writing (e.g. Hurlyburly).

Re:High cheese factor

[cmorgan47]

Slight nitpick... Direction is definitely more important than Acting

yep. and where's editing?

Re:High cheese factor

[Clay Pigeon -TPF-VS-]

Those were trolls.

And I don't mean the kind of trolls we normally see here at slashdot...

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

but I mean, how about something twice the size of a wookie?

So... about the size of Jabba the Hutt, then?

Here's the thing: Actors tend to be human sized. The more odd-sized and odd-shaped aliens you have the less detatched from humanity your story becomes.

Farscape is cool and fun, but it borders on feeling like H.R. Puffinstuff every once in a while.

Re:High cheese factor

[nb caffeine]

theres teh rancor, but thats not an intellegent being, just hungry

Re:High cheese factor

[kevin_conaway]

You want story? Go read a book.

You want to be entertained? Go see a movie.

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

I somewhat disagree.

Movies are not just a medium for storytelling. They are also a medium for visual art.

Look at Rodin's famous sculpture "The Thinker." Not much story going on there: "A naked guy sits on a rock and ponders something that troubles him." There's your whole plot, yet people come from all over the world just to gape at his naked pondering.

Is that so different from paying a few bucks to see a Death Star blow up? A little less highbrow than Rodin, perhaps, but at least on a par with going to the museum to check out that painting of a Campbell's Soup can by Andy Warhol.

Re:High cheese factor

[gad_zuki!]

What youre missing is that when film companies market blockbusters like these they make different trailers for different audiences. Obviously, these are for kids and parents, while the longer trailer was more for teens, adults, and fans.

At the end of the day, Hollywood is a business not an art house theater. Want good film? Try your local indie theater. Expecting Lucas to make you feel 8 years old again is a pretty high expectation and a fairly ridiculous thing to demand from anyone.

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

Why are they all the same size?

Why does size matter to you?

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

Psst. The 90s are calling and want their costumes back. You do know what year that STNG is from?

Re:High cheese factor

[michrech]

Jaba (or however it is spelled) is over twice the size of the humans he kept around him (well, the version that was in the later of the three series - I don't recall what he looked like in the first of them).

Then there was that huge creature that was in the 'dungeon' that was about to kill Han (I think that was him) under Jaba's little slab of whatever it was he was resting on.

Not *all* the aliens are humanoids, or their size.. :)

Re:High cheese factor

[clgoh]

why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash.

Or something like a super-intelligent shade of the colour blue ?

Re:High cheese factor

[justforaday]

Yes, I do know that. I was referring to the original SW movies, which is what the grandparent was talking about...

Re:High cheese factor

[robson]

You know what annoys me?
that all the freaking sentient aliens are pretty much the same size.
why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash.
Why are they all the same size?

Glad you asked :)

Haldane's On Being the Right Size

Of course, his essay does make certain assumptions about an Earth-like atmosphere and gravity...

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

Psst. The 90s are calling and want their costumes back

They also want their insult back

Re:High cheese factor

[lgw]

The thing is, the story hasn't been that bad. The screenpay (dialog) has been terrible. The two Sith lords starting a civil war so that each could rise to power as leader of one faction - that's pretty good stuff. Hiring Jango Fett to arrange the asassination of a Senator guarded by Jedi so that the Jedi would follow the trail back and discover that the Rebuplic had a clone army just in time to start a war - again, nice plotting.

Movie Sci Fi, that's about as good as it gets. It all went down hill from the plot, unfortunately.

Re:High cheese factor

[lawpoop]

"... I would omit "Story" and just say "Writing", because some films have very little actual story/plot, but have excellent writing...

Why not just call it a script or screenplay?

Re:High cheese factor

[INeededALogin]

or a planet for all the bald point pens.

Re:High cheese factor

[ssk77077]

The voice over guy has got to go! I'm sure he makes a good living doing that work, but his voice and dialogue just didn't fit those trailers.

Re:High cheese factor

[null etc.]

You know what annoys me? that all the freaking sentient aliens are pretty much the same size. why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash. Why are they all the same size?

Common sense. Larger creatures have spinal cords/neural pathways that take longer to traverse. Therefore, the brain can't be the sole controller in such an arrangement - "limbic" supplemental neural aggregates, located at the base of the spinal cord, are used to compensate for these neural delay times in large organisms such as dinosaurs.

In effect, the larger the organism, the less likely it is to possess intelligence. An exception might be water-based lifeforms, in which a large organism such as a whale is not required to adapt to its environment as quickly as, say, a rabbit.

Re:High cheese factor

[cocoamix]

It's the same reason every ship in the galaxy is flying along the same imaginary horizon.

An oversimplification that sacrifices accuracy for easier visual digestion.

Re:High cheese factor

[LordSnooty]

You want an entertaining story? Not any more, old friend...

Re:High cheese factor

[Miaowara_Tomokato]

Is that so different from paying a few bucks to see a Death Star blow up?

Ah, but it is the story that makes the explosion so satisfying. Without a story, you're just seeing a small moon blasted to dust. The story fills in the all-important details: That's no moon, that's a space station; it is a symbol of power and evil; without the destruction of the Death Star untold numbers of innocents will die. That, along with the buildup, is what makes the explosion itself so satisfying.

If I am unclear, allow me to make a comparison to another popular film. In The Princess Bride, why is it so satisfying to watch Inigo Montoya's final confrontation? He is not the hero of the film, and all that happens is a swordfight. If people wanted to pay a few bucks just to see a swordfight, wouldn't Highlander IV (was that the most recent one?) have been a complete blockbuster? Ask yourself what the difference is.

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

The more odd-sized and odd-shaped aliens you have the less detatched

er.... ummm...

g/less/s//more/

Typing fast while waiting for little blue fill-bars on the other screen can lead to lazy errors sometimes.

Animation and puppetry have their place, but you get a lot more subtle nuance out of a live actor in most cases... Keanu Reeves being an obvious exception.

Re:High cheese factor

[mshiltonj]

Why are they all the same size?

Even though they are humanoid, they all have different forehead wrinkles! That makes them alien!

Oop, sorry -- wrong sci-fi universe.

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

If I am unclear, allow me to make a comparison to another popular film. In The Princess Bride, why is it so satisfying to watch Inigo Montoya's final confrontation? He is not the hero of the film, and all that happens is a swordfight. If people wanted to pay a few bucks just to see a swordfight, wouldn't Highlander IV (was that the most recent one?) have been a complete blockbuster? Ask yourself what the difference is.

Well you do have a point, but part of what made Inigo's triumph statifying was the dialog (I won't ruin it by giving quotes), especially the last few lines. Such dialog is far more than Lucas could ever hope to pen.

Re:High cheese factor

[Silverlancer]

But what entertains me is the story.

As probably a prime example, I loved the series .hack//SIGN. In particular, .hack//SIGN contains basically no action whatsoever and hardly anything interesting happens until the end of the series. But it was extremely entertaining... because of the suspense, mystery, and storyline. I don't watch movies for the special effects--I watch them for the entertainment value. I.e. the story. Just like I don't play games for the graphics--in that case Doom 3 must be a billion times better than say, Civilization, right?

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

Ah, but it is the story that makes the explosion so satisfying.

Yes, and it's the explosion that makes the story so satisfying.

I didn't say that story is unimportant. I said that movie-making is an artform in which the story is not the only imporant element.

If all of the battles in Star Wars were simply described by people sitting in a room, would it have been such a hit?

In The Princess Bride... Highlander IV... Ask yourself what the difference is.

I asked, and the reply came back: The Princess Bride was funny on purpose.

Re:High cheese factor

[OmgTEHMATRICKS]

Because no one wants to deal with making super sizes of McDonalds super sized value meals for the giants.

Re:High cheese factor

[elitsirk]

I think that the only way the new Star Wars trilogy went wrong by waiting so long to be produced. Lets face it, we all saw the original 3 when we were kids (or at least 25 years younger than we are now). We know every detail by heart. We can recite the dialog and probably follow along with the choreography of the fight scenes. These movies have become *legends* to us. There was no way to top a legend or to really win the hearts of the moviegoers. The same elements that we cheered for in Return of the Jedi (C3PO's comments and R2D2's squeal, people hanging of the edges of cliffs, etc) are the same things that everyone claims are "cheesy" now. But if they hadn't been there, everyone would have moaned about how the new Star Wars was missing something and that it had lost the heart of the original series. I, for one, intend to sit back and enjoy the final movie for its own merits instead of comparing it to some mystical ideal movie I've created in my head.

Re:High cheese factor

[obender]

why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash

Because McDonalds and Coca-Cola were not invented yet.
Oh, you mean 15 foot tall?

Re:High cheese factor

[CoffeeJedi]

actually, what you were describing was more plot than story, but its ok, you still have a good point

it seems like 70% of 'original' sci-fi in theaters these days is just warmed over Alien rip-offs

Re:High cheese factor

[Retric]

I think SW missing the difference between a plot and a plot hook. Take The Princess Bride which has about the same target audience and about as complex background, aka prince try's to set up a war with gilder by having his peasant bride killed, but it's used as back-story story. The plot is all about long lost love coming back and rescuing her they run off are captured he is rescued and leads a party to bring her back. Now this is a comedic fantasy so you add your odd chase, mystic healer, and lot's of laughs. At the same time you have a few side plot's like the whole 'my name is Inigo Montoya you killed my father prepare to die" Now compare this with star wars where the plot is used so sparingly that it's easy to forget what's going on. You have things like 20 min chase with basically no dialog and then almost no reference as to why that happened. Yea, if you bother to pay attention there is a basic plot but it seems as ill used as the premise "the mail man showed up" in some cheesy porno.

Look at it this way if you want to have a hidden plot within the story you need to hide it behind the basic plot no simply have 20 pages of dialog spread over 2 hours and say well sorry if you missed that side comment your missing the point so please come back and see it again.

Re:High cheese factor

[Enrique1218]

Lucas couldn't cut a deal with the giant performer's union.

Re:High cheese factor

[kin_korn_karn]

Well, at least the SW aliens are better than the ones in the Trek universe, where Roddenberry decreed that every sentient race in the galaxy is humanoid.

He probably did this to save money on makeup artists and f/x guys, but still, it's ignorant and short-sighted.

Re:High cheese factor

[TGK]

I have this strong urge to mod this post "Troll" just to be a smart ass.

Oh well, I commented on it instead. Guess someone else will have to do it.

Re:High cheese factor

[TheWickedKingJeremy]

Lets face it, we all saw the original 3 when we were kids (or at least 25 years younger than we are now). We know every detail by heart. We can recite the dialog and probably follow along with the choreography of the fight scenes. These movies have become *legends* to us. There was no way to top a legend or to really win the hearts of the moviegoers. The same elements that we cheered for in Return of the Jedi (C3PO's comments and R2D2's squeal, people hanging of the edges of cliffs, etc) are the same things that everyone claims are "cheesy" now.

I disagree. I have no problems updating my thoughts on films as I grow older - many films that I used to love I now view as total crap. But the original trilogy I still feel are good films. They are exciting, have great music, some great action sequences (though some are admittedly less impressive nowadays) and just overall are filled with a great sense of adventure. The chemistry between Han and Leia is just as amusing now as it was then, and I still feel the anxiety and desperation of the rebel soldiers as they take positions in the snow and await the approaching AT-ATs.

What do the new films have? Plastic line recitals and effects galore. Can someone name one funny scene in either of the last two films? How about one witty exchange? Or one action sequence that is even half as cool as the surprise attack by the Empire in RotJ? Do you feel that the battle between the plastic robots and Jar-Jar armed with blue beachballs stacks up?

The people that criticize the new films based on imagined racism are just trying too hard... the new films suck because, well, they suck :) And that conclusion has nothing to do with how old I am...

Re:High cheese factor

[RollingThunder]

This is Lucas we're talking about.

The nonhumanity of CGI actors is not a blocking point for him.

Re:High cheese factor

[garett_spencley]

I completely agree that Lucas is a horrible director.

Lucas himself admitted that the only reason A New Hope turned out ok rather than a complete disaster was because of the brilliant editing done by Paul Hirsch and Richard Chew.

Empire and Jedi, IMO, were good because Lucas didn't direct them. I think the new ones could have been great had Lucas handled the story and FX and handed off the directing to someone else .. like Spielberg (who was supposed to direct Jedi but couldn't because Lucas dropped out of the Director's Guild after Empire).

Re:High cheese factor

[SpryGuy]

It annoys me more that all the planets have the same atmosphere and gravity.

Re:High cheese factor

[Atryn]

You know what annoys me? that all the freaking sentient aliens are pretty much the same size. why can't we have some superdense 15 foot giants walking around talking trash. Why are they all the same size?

Would you prefer aliens so small that their entire interplanetary invasion force (due to a small miscalculation is size) gets swalloed whole by a small dog? Oh wait, that would be a different movie...

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

> Then there was that huge creature that was in the 'dungeon'

Rancor.

> that was about to kill Han (I think that was him)

Luke.

> under Jaba's little slab of whatever it was he was resting on.

Jabba.

I > You

Re:High cheese factor

[Skevin]

The next two had me shaking my head in disbelief. How could they go so wrong?

I heard an interesting story just the other day...
A guy walks into a bar, where he remembers drinking a spectacular beer fifteen years ago. Confident that the ownership of the establishment has not changed, he orders a beer. Upon taking a sip, he immediately spits it out.
"Hey Bartender!" the startled patron cries, "This beer tastes like piss!"
"That's not my problem," the bartender shrugs.
Three years later, the guy comes back to the bar and orders another beer, hoping it will be as good this time as it was eighteen years ago. The patron takes one sip and screams.
"Alright! Now that beer really tastes like piss!"
"Uh yeah," nods the bartender, "I peed in it, but it doesn't really matter now, because I have your money. I'll see you in three years."
The customer storms out. Three years later...

This is not a joke, folks: this is an analogy. George Lucas is the bartender, and any given one of us is the customer. My question to you is, are you going to buy another beer?

Solomon Kevin Chang

Re:High cheese factor

[Eccles]

Roddenberry decreed that every sentient race in the galaxy is humanoid.

How many quatloos do you want to bet on that?

Re:High cheese factor

[Dirtside]

Wrong. People fundamentally go to the movies (and experience all entertainment media) in order to see great stories. Other things can act as a subtitute (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid has great acting and writing and a lousy story), but great stories are what people are, at their core, seeking.

There's a great deal of literature on the subject; go read it.

Re:High cheese factor

[ZebraCornBrick]

Speaking of cheese, Vader sells cheez-its at my neighborhood Safeway. In fact, Star Wars is pasted all over cookies, cereals, and whatever kiddie food can be pushed with Wookie marketing. I hoped that Lucas would try to appeal to his original audience... have a little loyalty. I suppose the cash is more gratifying to him.

Re:High cheese factor

[AnonymousKev]

You raise a good point, but I'll take great story and cheesy effects over cheesy story and great special effects. Well, okay, I actually enjoyed Starship Troopers, but let's ignore that for now :)

It's interesting you picked The Thinker as an example. Like a good movie, there is depth to this piece. It is well executed (good visual effects), but it also has a great story. Look at his face. Why is he so serious? What could be so important? He appears entirely consumed. As we watch the "naked guy on a rock", we're weaving our own story. We're becoming engaged. We care. A good story pulls us in and gives us entertainment long after the movie is over. The special effects catch our attention, but --like a roller coaster ride-- leave us excited, but wanting more.

And for those who dig even deeper, they'll discover that The Thinker (like a movie with a good story) has a detailed backstory. It is part of a larger work The Gates of Hell. That "naked guy on a rock" is pondering eternity and his place in it. Weighty stuff -- and rewarding if you're in the mood to exercise your brain.

Re:High cheese factor

[biglig2]

Yes, no army would be evil enough to use slashdot trolls on their enemies...

Re:High cheese factor

[m50d]

No, the sculpture doesn't have much story, but then it sucks. And actually it was part of a pretty big story borrowed from Dante. Wasn't it? He's pondering before his final torment, or something like that.

Re:High cheese factor

[JaxGator75]

Remember when he kicked Godzilla's ass? I'd fly halfway around the world to see that, too...

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

A huge creature wouldn't evolve sentience. Humans evolved sentience to kill (and avoid being killed by) huge creattures.

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

Man I can't take it anymore, all this whining about Episodes I and II. They're _great_ and you know it, you just can't stand admitting it cuz it's embarassing to you.

How is episode I's pod racer scene anything less than fantastic? The duel with Darth Maul? The complex and clever (yes, complex) political structure and manipulation of Palpatine?

Ewan McGregor's portrayal of Obi-Wan is totally in line with what we see in Alec Guinness's portrayal in episode IV. Annakin shows the range of emotions that are required for him to fall to the dark side, very nice.

And what of the amazing scenery and rich worlds with all the detail? Let yourself go, enjoy, watch C-SPAN if you want morbid reality. I for one cannot wait to see Obi-Wan take on General Grievous, Annakin take down Dooku, Mace Windu take on whoever, the giant battle above Coriscant, it's going to be awesome.

Relax about the "racism" or whatever, leave your PC hat at the door. Besides, I KNOW you're going to go see it anyway, so what's your problem? If you dislike it so much, abstain from seeing it altogether.

Re:High cheese factor

[Tibor the Hun]

thanx for posting,
lately i've been getting a lot of troll mods. (check out my comment history) I even got a timeout the other day...
and then when i talk about a wind blowing through a stable, i get a +4 insightful...

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

I remember reading in a physics journal some time back that the height of bipedal species cannot be much taller than what we're accustomed to due to the gravitational strain on organic material or something like that, that a 10 foot humanoid could never naturally evolve , even if you set whatever environment's gravity to be much weaker than earth's, cuz even then life could not evolve. Earth's conditions are perfect for life to evolve, and only a planet with very similar conditions could host life. A class M planet, as it were :)

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

So you equate entertaiment with braindead bullshit, how american of you.

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

(I won't ruin it by giving quotes)

I will

HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA. YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE. RUGEN No -- INIGO -- offer me money -- And now the six-fingered sword strikes and there is a slash bleeding along one of Rugen's cheeks. RUGEN -- yes -- INIGO -- power too -- promise me that -- The great sword flashes again, and now there is a parallel slash bleeding on Rugen's other cheek. RUGEN -- all that I have and more please -- INIGO -- offer me everything I ask for -- RUGEN -- anything you want -- INIGO (roaring) I WANT MY FATHER BACK, YOU SON-OF- A-BITCH!

Re:High cheese factor

[mihalis]

What do the new films have? Plastic line recitals and effects galore. Can someone name one funny scene in either of the last two films? How about one witty exchange? Or one action sequence that is even half as cool as the surprise attack by the Empire in RotJ? Do you feel that the battle between the plastic robots and Jar-Jar armed with blue beachballs stacks up?

I agree with all of this, the plastic robots and blue beach balls scene is awful, as is the trite "oh let's all fire our grappling gun at a very narrow window frame area and all rappel up like synchronised marrionettes" scene.

However, I absolutely love other bits and pieces. Often very short bits. Ideally when nobody speaks.

For example :-

• the lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon vs Darth Maul. Excellent.
• Qui-Gon wasting the blast doors with his lightsaber
• The Jedi's flicking off at super-human speed when confronted by shielded Droidekars
• Anakin wasting droidekars by accident in the hangar (stupid bit of plot, but just looks so cool).
• a very brief scene where Obi-Wan is fleeing flying plastic robots and Qui-Gon deflects the blasts with a casual elegance
• "There's always a bigger fish" scene. Again, not a great bit of story, but every time I hear Jar-Jar say "biiiig goober fish" and the little ship plunges into the depths it's a thrill
• Flying scenes over Coruscant
• Ian McDiarmids dual roles, his pure evilness as the emperor contrasted with his joviality as Senator Palpatine.
• Anakin's mother is just excellent all the time, she even make it easier to tolerate George's appalling stilted dialog.
• Qui-Gon's first battle with Darth Maul. I don't know why, but I really like this bit too.

The trick for me is to be open to the joy and thrills available from the visuals, music, action, design etc etc whilst refusing to have the whole thing spoiled by the plot, dialog, acting or (at times) simplistic and annoying CGI.

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

Heh. Good one.

You would be at 5 for "Funny" by now if a few more moderators knew how the fuck to pronounce "Rodin."

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

I would put it to you that Harrison Ford, Sir Alec Guiness, and James Earl Jones comprised 90% of the reason why the original trilogy was at all entertaining.

Re:High cheese factor

[D-Cypell]

Judge me by my size, do you?

Re:High cheese factor

[squidsoup]

Aristotle's Theory of Tragedy in the Poetics recognised spectacle as the least important element of a drama.

Frankly, I'm bored by cg these days, and I'm a professional 3d animator myself. Well... not so much bored by cg in itself, but investment in cg to the exclusion of everything else. You may have beautifully lit scenes using the latest in global illumination and ambient occlusion technologies, or marvellously rigged creatures sporting insanely dense displacement maps and subsurface scattering shaders.. but if your plot is unimaginative and your characters are 2 dimensional, which should anyone care?

I guess I find it all the more distressing, because I have first hand experience of just how hard and laborious computer graphics are. Blood, sweat and tears goes in to making anything like this, but ultimately all of that is irrelevant if your foundations aren't there.

Re:High cheese factor

[lgw]

Yea, if you bother to pay attention there is a basic plot but it seems as ill used as the premise "the mail man showed up" in some cheesy porno.

That's about right! I missed the cool plot elements entirely in the movies, because the story was so poorly told, and only understood what was going on from related books written by people who can, well, write.

Re:High cheese factor

[16K Ram Pack]

If you want to think about film, think about "the stuff you don't know". One of the things that great filmmakers do - they realise that there are often details that you really don't need to know.

If you've seen Pulp Fiction, you'll know about the briefcase. Now, what's beautiful in the briefcase? You never find out. The point is that it matters, not a chunk of detail that would get in the way of the storytelling and the character motivations.

It also leaves it to your imagination (I've heard some interesting ideas).

Re:High cheese factor

[maryjanecapri]

i have to disagree with you somewhat. first of all i'm in the profession. i've been a professional actor for nearly 15 years now. so this is not necessarily coming from straight-up opinion.

there are very few truly good actors in hollywood. there are, however, plenty of very good directors. however, even those very good directors can't pull something out of someone who doesn't have it. acting is a very challenging skill to hone. it takes years of practice to really get it. many of these hollywood stars don't actually get it. mcgregor is one of them.

what tends to happen in hollywood is that scripts are cast not by talent but by marketability and personality. when a script is sold in hollywood it is sold primarily based on the appeal of a particular actor. and typical audiences are not looking for actual talent - they are looking for personalities. i.e. when you go to see Jack Nickelson in a movie you want to see "Jack Nickelson". you don't want to see Jack do something other than himself. Same thing with Sean Connery.

and there's very little talent necessary in developing a personality unless it's an actual departure from the real person.

but anyway - i digress a bit.

george lucas is a horrendous director. he makes horrible casting choices and settles for mediocre performances at best.

Re:High cheese factor

[Fishstick]

Rare exception - and they were humanoid-disembodied brains, weren't they?

Give me a horta anyday, though.

Seems like the original series had a lot more non-humanoid characters than the later series.

Remember there was the 'companion' that was basically an amalgum of sentient sparkles?

There was the Gorn (or is that too close to humanoid?)
There was the spinning light thingy that made Kirk and the Klingons fight for its amusement.
I know there were others.

ster--illl-iiize!!!

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

"People fundamentally go to the movies (and experience all entertainment media) in order to see great stories. "

Then explain the success of Titanic and the Star Wars prequels. Take a look at a list of the highest grossing films, 75% of them are special effects extravaganzas.

http://movieweb.com/movies/box_office/alltime.ph p

If people wanted great stories they would read books or go to live theater.

Re:High cheese factor

[RollingThunder]

I would agree 100% as well - but I don't think that given his current actions (Jar Jar, all-digital Yoda, etc) that Lucas thinks that anymore.

Since he calls the shots, and has an affinity for the all-digital, then it's not logical to say he doesn't create more decidedly unhuman aliens simply because he'd have to use digital effects to do so.

Re:High cheese factor

[fearofcarpet]

what tends to happen in hollywood is that scripts are cast not by talent but by marketability and personality. when a script is sold in hollywood it is sold primarily based on the appeal of a particular actor. and typical audiences are not looking for actual talent - they are looking for personalities. i.e. when you go to see Jack Nickelson in a movie you want to see "Jack Nickelson". you don't want to see Jack do something other than himself. Same thing with Sean Connery.

I coulnd't agree more. The best actors IMHO are the ones that you see in a movie and go "that guy... Yeah, he's really good... He's bee in a ton of movies, but I can't really remember.." That said, there are some scripts that really fit an actor's personality. Han Solo comes to mind :)

Re:High cheese factor

[jcuervo]

it seems like 70% of 'original' sci-fi in theaters these days is just warmed over Alien rip-offs

Could be worse, they could be Alien versus Predator ripoffs.

Re:High cheese factor

[cparisi]

I expect if I saw the film, one might find many other completely cheesy references and pop culture call outs like explaining away the Force by invoking pop culture understanding of molecular biology. That was weak as can be and completely ruined the magic of having Sir Alec Guiness explain the Force as "It's an energy that surrounds all living things.."

People keep harping on this midi-chlorian thing. Did it ever occur to anyone that Luke was strong in the force because he was Darth Vader's son? Gee, could there be a biological reason for that? Oh wait... his sister is strong in the force also...hmmm what a coincidence...
The Force is still "The Force," regardless of how it is accessed.

Re:High cheese factor

[TheSpeedoBeast]

Sorry, everyone gets this quite wrong. It's fly you fools. I have won many a dollar (seriously) on betting that it is fly, not run. Whenever you meet new people, there is a good chance you can make a few bucks off of them with a bet here!

Re:High cheese factor

[NormalVisual]

One could also argue that the larger the organism, the less responsive it has to be to its environment since it likely will have fewer predators to contend with and otherwise will be less affected by said environment. A small tree falling on a mouse is a big deal for the mouse, but probably wouldn't be for a rhinoceros.

There are still some larger creatures that are remarkably intelligent. Elephants come to mind, and as regards their ability to deal with their environment, we'll just wish a lot of luck to the lion that tries to take down a full-grown bull. :-)

Re:High cheese factor

[NormalVisual]

Let's not forget the speed at which ships fly in the Star Wars universe, too. In most scenes with the Millenium Falcon, the ship appears to take about a second or so to traverse its length past the camera POV, which works out to about 100 mph or so. Even in the opening scene of Star Wars, the Star Destroyer flying over the camera is doing less than 400 mph, assuming a stationary camera. 400 mph isn't fast enough to keep you in orbit around much of anything, and one would think the Tantive IV could offer a little bit more of a pursuit than that. Realistic speeds just aren't very photogenic, since nothing would remain in the frame for any length of time, and protracted space battles wouldn't be practical.

Re:High cheese factor

[NormalVisual]

Starship Troopers entertained me mostly by making no bones about the fact that it was strictly eye candy, and the story was a very basic device consisting only of what was necessary to get the audience from one CGI-fest to the next. It was unabashedly an action flick, and appeared to take very great pains to ensure the audience didn't take it seriously. It also did not let the audience down in the least regarding the FX.

"Would you like to know more?"

/owns ST on DVD

Re:High cheese factor

[TastelessGarbage]

You want both? See (or read) "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room"

Re:High cheese factor

[rock_climbing_guy]

Movies are not just a medium for storytelling. They are also a medium for visual art.

If you want to see a movie for visual art, see "House of Flying Daggers." It is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen. The action is a lot like that in "The Matrix" although they don't have that whole "Matrix" situation to explain their spectacular stunts.

House of Flying Daggers

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

The most popular theory seems to be that it's the briefcase full of diamonds from Resevior Dogs.

Re:High cheese factor

[Golias]

Hong Kong cinema has a long tradition of falling back on the mythology of Shaolin Buddhism to explain the "wire fu."

The idea is, if you master the martial art of Kung Fu enough, you can move in ways which defy conventional physics. Things like weight and momentum become irrelevant to you.

"Hero" is another good recent martial arts movie which is almost as pretty to gawk at as "House of Flying Daggers."

The whole point of the Matrix story was to create a Kung Fu superhero which Western audiences could suspend their disbelief for. It worked rather well, if only they had stuck with it and not made the next two movies mainly about the dreary "Zion" battles.

Re:High cheese factor

[lgw]

Hey now, AvP was better than both the third and the fourth Alien movies!

Re:High cheese factor

[16K Ram Pack]

That's what Roger Avary (co-writer) said was the original thought. It's basically never revealed, and up to the audience to decide.

There's a term to quote people for this sort of a thing: MacGuffin. Check it out on Wikipedia.

The other one I've heard is that it's the soul of Marsellus Wallace, hence why he has a plaster on the back of his neck (although this is really because of a scar than Ving Rhames had got).

Re:High cheese factor

[TheWickedKingJeremy]

there are very few truly good actors in hollywood. there are, however, plenty of very good directors. however, even those very good directors can't pull something out of someone who doesn't have it. acting is a very challenging skill to hone. it takes years of practice to really get it. many of these hollywood stars don't actually get it.

I agree that acting must be very difficult... but the role of the director is still far more important in my opinion. Not only do good directors get better performances out of their actors (you need not be an actor to realize this trend) but they also frequently have their hands in on many other aspects of moviemaking, from casting to cinematography to editing, etc.

mcgregor is one of them.

Fine and well to have an opinion on him -- I was simply saying that I know he is capable of acting better than he did in the two Star Wars films... I'm not saying I think he is the greatest ever, just that I've seen him rise above "piece of wood" status in other acting roles.

what tends to happen in hollywood is that scripts are cast not by talent but by marketability and personality. when a script is sold in hollywood it is sold primarily based on the appeal of a particular actor. and typical audiences are not looking for actual talent - they are looking for personalities. i.e. when you go to see Jack Nickelson in a movie you want to see "Jack Nickelson". you don't want to see Jack do something other than himself. Same thing with Sean Connery.

I agree completely... I've read that Nick Nolte refers to this as the "star system", in which all the good roles are given to a select few, regardless whether they are actually the best actor/actress for the job. But I'm not sure what this has to do with my comment....

george lucas is a horrendous director. he makes horrible casting choices and settles for mediocre performances at best.

I agree, which is why I said he wasn't a good director. I truly feel that, putting the exact same script and set of actors in the hands of a better director, that we could have had a 100x better film.

Re:High cheese factor

[Anonymous Coward]

'lightly veiled racism' - that was my favorite part !

Dyslexia....

[Anonymous Coward]

Try as I may, I can't help but read the title as REVENGE OF THE SHIT!

Pity me....

Re:Dyslexia....

[Irashtar]

Lucky you. I keep seeing "Directed by George Pukes"

Re:Dyslexia....

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you sure it's dyslexia? Maybe it's Torret's syndrome :P

Re:Dyslexia....

[Anonymous Coward]

uhh, Thats what I get when I eat Pizza Hut!

Re:Dyslexia....

[Chris Burke]

Dyslexia, or just reasonable expectations?

Re:Dyslexia....

[bonaman_24]

now that you mention it, I can't read it any other way...thanks, man.

That's ironic

[the_skywise]

"...and a little bit more pop action than the dark trailer that gave me hope"

So should we be calling Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, "A New Hope"? :)

Re:That's ironic

[fizban]

No, no. It's "A Last Hope..."

A last hope for Star Wars redemption.

A last hope before I throw my hands in the air crying, "Why George, why?"

Re:That's ironic

[grahamlee]

A last hope before I throw my hands in the air crying, "Why George, why?"

OK, George, you've done some rubbish, but I'm going to give you one more go. I'll watch episode 3, and if that's bad then by heck I'll not watch another Star Wars film as long as I live! Erm....

Re:That's ironic

[GenSolo]

And so a last hope before he replies, "Money fizban, money."

Re:That's ironic

[spidereyes]

...and stay tuned for Friends: The baby years

Re:That's ironic

[YrWrstNtmr]

Maybe they should call it:
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, "A New Pope"

Re:That's ironic

[Anonymous Coward]

A last hope before I throw my hands in the air crying, "Why George, why?"

That ship has sailed.

It left port right about when the second sea monster attacked and got eaten by a bigger sea monster (just like the first one) in Phantom Menace. From then on, I was in it strictly for the cool lightsaber fighting... and Attack of the Clones was a huge let-down on that score, too.

Re:That's ironic

[JWW]

Erm...

C'mon, Just finish your post. Unless he makes more.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true....

Direct movie downloads here

[Hektor_Troy]

First one

Second one

Third one

Re:Direct movie downloads here

[pete-classic]

Are you a Tolkien fan, or a Donnie Darko fan?

-Peter

Re:Direct movie downloads here

[Hektor_Troy]

Both, actually :)

Re:Direct movie downloads here

[GnuPooh]

Thank you! I can never get the player to work right with my browser.

Re:Direct movie downloads here

[Howski]

Does anyone have a similar link to QTs of the long trailer? I have tried to find one, but I haven't found one that's any good (I want a Quicktime, not .avi).

Thanks!

Re:Direct movie downloads here

[Neoncow]

Greetings.

For over a thousand generations..

Re:Direct movie downloads here

[Howski]

Thanks! but I was referring to the full trailer, not the teaser. for the life of me, I can't figure out how to actually download it from starwars.com.

The O.C.!

[Reignking]

Well, since these trailers are available on starwars.com, I guess I have no reason to watch The O.C. anymore...

Re:The O.C.!

[climbon321]

It would seem that way, but let us not forget that there are hot chicks making out on the show.

Re:The O.C.!

[Anonymous Coward]

How often does this happen? I may have to start watching it..

Re:The O.C.!

[uberdave]

I've never seen the show so I don't know a thing about it, but whenever I see the phrase "The OC" I think of OAC (Ontario Academic Credit) which is, or was, the fifth year of high school. So, this show was, in my mind, a show about a bunch of high school kids.

What is the show about, anyways (now that it's been mentioned on Slashdot a couple of times)?

Re:The O.C.!

[rsadelle]

What is the show about, anyways (now that it's been mentioned on Slashdot a couple of times)?

Uh, a bunch of high school kids.

Re:The O.C.!

[uberdave]

Okay, so what does O.C. stand for anyways?

Re:The O.C.!

[Anonymous Coward]

You'd do better to just watch The L Word.

Re:The O.C.!

[DrCode]

More like a bunch of 30-year-old high school kids.

Re:The O.C.!

[TheoMurpse]

What?!? Why has this not been announced on /. before?!?

Soothing Sith

[topgeek]

These 30-second trailers will be more fulfilling than the last two months of movie releases.

Re:Soothing Sith

[Anonymous Coward]

>These 30-second trailers will be more fulfilling than the last two months of movie releases.

Really? I thought Sin City was quite good actually.

Forced browser resizing

[JPelorat]

Looks cool, but I could have done without the annoying auto-resizing of Firefox...

Re:Forced browser resizing

[Compenguin]

> Looks cool, but I could have done without the annoying auto-resizing of Firefox...

Then set dom.disable_window_move_resize to true.

Re:Forced browser resizing

[JPelorat]

Awesome, thanks

Re:Forced browser resizing

[sehryan]

Or just go to Options > Web Features > Advanced and uncheck the appropriate box.

Re:Forced browser resizing

[DanCentury]

It resized Safari too. Sux.

Re:Forced browser resizing

[vbrtrmn]

Damn that's one of the best options in FF I've seen!

Re:Forced browser resizing

[Anonymous Coward]

Agreed. Is sure sux when sitting with dual monitors and the damn stupid web programmers (I a programmer myself) does a trick like that! WTF is the point anyway? I know how to resize a window if I need to.

Re:Forced browser resizing

[J. Random Luser]

It's Java driven, resizes it too small so scroll bars appear, hides their own site copyright notice ;-) & hides a hideous pustular blood colored background. Just plain sick page design...

Re:Forced browser resizing

[Anonymous Coward]

If I have to edit my .conf file, then I don't want to use the browser. STFU

Re:Forced browser resizing

[Anonymous Coward]

If I have to edit my .conf file, then I don't want to use the browser. STFU

I'm not sure what your point is or how it might relate to the post you replied to, but there is a checkbox for this setting in the Options dialog as pointed out by the GP. And even if there weren't, you could just go to about:config and scroll down to the dom.disable_window_move_resize setting described by the GGP, with no config files or scary text editors required.

Show CGI...

[Manip]

Show all the CGI in the trailers you want, doesn't make it a good film... You notice how the original star wars trailers talk about an experience where as these new ones talk about emotions that morons will find appealing (e.g. how cool is it to blow stuff up!)

Lets hope this one will be better than it looks.

Re:Show CGI...

[Anonymous Coward]

I've never really understood the mentality of hatred against the new star wars films.

Star Wars has ALWAYS been about cutting-edge special effects, and NEVER about good acting.

Re:Show CGI...

[As Seen On TV]

Star Wars has ALWAYS been about cutting-edge special effects, and NEVER about good acting.

Guess you never saw "The Empire Strikes Back." That love story was the only part of the five movies so far that could be called "good."

Re:Show CGI...

[GenSolo]

No, but a long time ago, in what seems like it must've been a galaxy far far away, there was a good story put on film with a bunch of cutting-edge special effects. Now, it seems, George has decided that the plot has to fit within 3 levels of outline and character development is anathema. Some of the best scenes from Episode2 were the ones that got cut, and I'd wager (based on the differences between the novel and the film) that the same goes for Episode 1. I can't say the same for the original trilogy, (except perhaps the Kenobi-on-Dagobah-giving-backstory scene from Return of the Jedi).

Re:Show CGI...

[0311]

But I like to blow stuff up!!

Re:Show CGI...

[Anonymous Coward]

Some love story. The kid kissed his sister!

Re:Show CGI...

[Anonymous Coward]

u need 2 watch it again. leia is lukes sister, not hans.

Re:Show CGI...

[Anonymous Coward]

Crap, you ruined the movie for me. I don't think I will bother seeing it now.

Re:Show CGI...

[16K Ram Pack]

Yes, and a lot of the dialogue was pretty cruddy too.

But, they looked like nothing else around, had really, really cool things (like X-wings, TIE fighters, land speeders, R2D2, light sabres, death stars). An opening shot that was just like "Woooooowwww!", Darth Vader, Stormtroopers and all that. It really was like a galaxy far, far away.

Most of all, they were also good yarns with characters we cared about. Nothing about bloody trade wars and a bunch of stuff we don't need to know about midichlorians. I wonder how many kids have gone really nuts about these new movies.

LOL

[mfh]

Starwars has been moving more and more to a TV soap opera type thing

Yeah that Woooookie and the Eeeeewoks are two shining examples of how serious this franchise has always been. Master Yoda know force STRONG: must STRIVE, overcome temptation, or be turned to dark side, you will be! Hate, anger... (a drizzling of zen philosophy smoked with a pound of pot philosophy, and a dash puppet-mastery to boot: presto -- instant million dollar project)... etc.

The latest high tech merger

[HerbertLipschitz]

Michael Eisner meets George Lucas

Re:The latest high tech merger

[razmaspaz]

Old news,

You've obviously never been to MGM Studios. Star Tours, Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. Eisner and Lucas met years ago, and they opened a theme park.

Lame audio...

[Anonymous Coward]

Spots 1 and 3 are best watched with the sound muted.

Re:Lame audio...

[Carnil]

Curious, just like episodes 1 and 2...

Re:Lame audio...

[Anonymous Coward]

Only if you are also blindfolded.

At least it should be the end of it...

[Anonymous Coward]

As awful as the last few movies have been, why does anyone think this will be better? At this point, getting excited by a new butchering of Star Wars is like getting excited by a new Revenge of the Nerds movie.

Never fear

[nizo]

...more pop action than the dark trailer that gave me hope.

But if this one is bad, luckily there is always A New Hope.

Re:Never fear

[|/|/|||]

Yeah, hopefully someday A New Hope will be available.

Fetch it here

[Anonymous Coward]

http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction1_480_dl .mov
http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/m ovies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction2_480_dl .mov
http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/m ovies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_unite_480_dl.mov

Good luck!

The book

[genkael]

I completed the book the other night and it was pretty good. It ties up all of the loose ends that I could think of. Yes there is some pop culture, and yes Jar-Jar is there albeit briefly. Have fun, enjoy the movies, think of yourself as 5 again, and not as a critical 30 year old, and the movies will be much better.

But again, the book was worth reading and talks about a lot of interesting topics that can't be covered withing the confining medium of cinema.

Re:The book

[Kozar_The_Malignant]

>and yes Jar-Jar is there albeit briefly

Please tell me he is being torn apart by something that could have oozed out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.

Re:The book

[mbyte]

Whats also good, if you want to go into these kinds of movies, drink some beer before you go to the cinema, go to a pub before, or something else.
Being slightly drunk and in good mood helps a lot to appriciate these kind of films ;)

Re:The book

[TooMuchEspressoGuy]

"Yes there is some pop culture, and yes Jar-Jar is there albeit briefly."

Does he die? Please tell me he dies.

Re:The book

[Irashtar]

And this is different from, say, Pokemon, Spongebob, etc... How?

Re:The book

[NinjaFarmer]

>and yes Jar-Jar is there albeit briefly Please tell me he is being torn apart by something that could have oozed out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.

Atroo rolled into the room and saw something so horrifying it was frozen in shock. Jar-Jar's body was there, lying on the ground, looking as if its head had been sucked off!

Re:The book

[Bob The Cowboy]

So now I have to pretend I'm a 5 year old to enjoy movies? If I was going to do that, I'd just watch Nickelodeon all day. Sorry, if Pixar can make a movie that appeals to everyone from age 4 to age 45 (and do so with multiple movies!) I don't see any reason why Lucas can't.

Re:The book

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny thing though; I am able to enjoy many other children's movies without resorting to pretending I am a child again.

Also, the PG-13 rating of this movie means that it's intended audience is over the age of 13, not 5.

Re:The book

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah, if only Lucas could think like a critical 30 year old and the movies would be much better!

jack'd

[Anonymous Coward]

is it to much to ask for a target="_blank"? yeah yeah, shift + click...

Is this the last Episode?

[RealProgrammer]

We should start right now with an innovative grassroots effort to keep Paramount from cancelling the series.

I can't wait to see what happens after Revenge of the Sith.

Re:Is this the last Episode?

[TooMuchEspressoGuy]

I can't wait to see what happens after Revenge of the Sith.

Star Wars Episode 7: George Lucas Demolishes Our Fond Childhood Memories of the Series Even More In Order to Make a Quick Buck.

Re:Is this the last Episode?

[Anonymous Coward]

Apparently you don't understand sarcasm.

Re:Is this the last Episode?

[youknowmewell]

The Sith get their revenge, but then hope is renewed, then the empire strikes back, then the jedi return. BTW Yoda and Obi die.

Re:Is this the last Episode?

[lheal]

• The Sith get their revenge, but then hope is renewed, then the empire strikes back, then the jedi return. BTW Yoda and Obi die.

Oh, thanks for spoiling it, you insensitive clod!. I've waited almost 30 years for the series to be complete before seeing Episodes IV-V-VI, and now you've ruined it.

Just for that:

1. in Murder She Wrote, it's always the unnecessary character.
2. Dorothy was dreaming
3. the Psycho just likes dressing up as his dead Mother

Re:Is this the last Episode?

[Anonymous Coward]

We'll find out what happens once George Lucas hands Star Wars over to Berman and Braga. ;D

Am I the only one...

[roach2002]

Am I the only one who read that as REVENGE OF THE SHIT the first time?

What could make these cheesy trailers worse?

[DanCentury]

How about "What I like about you" or "I want candy" playing in the background like every other trailer. Can somebody please "mash" that up, post it, and then boing boing can blog about it.

Re:What could make these cheesy trailers worse?

[FauxPasIII]

> How about "What I like about you" or "I want candy" playing in the background like every other
> trailer. Can somebody please "mash" that up, post it, and then boing boing can blog about it.

Dear God... is this even English ?

Re:What could make these cheesy trailers worse?

[Fear the Clam]

Or the "I got the power...I got the power..." clip used in every other commercial.

Re:What could make these cheesy trailers worse?

[william.gunn]

Makes perfect sense to me! Get with the program, gramps!

Re:What could make these cheesy trailers worse?

[TheoMurpse]

Aside from the fact that Boing Boing should have been "Boing Boing" or "boingboing", as both are used here, yes, it is English. In fact, it'd more correct than your post! :)

Have a nice day.

hang 10... lava style

[Anonymous Coward]

Seriously, every time I see a clip of them fighting, while surfing on lava... it makes me cringe. I hope to gooooood that the final piece doesn't look as ridiculous as it does now and has looked for months now.

Re:Interesting fact

[Anonymous Coward]

Mod parent down -1 big fat lie. ILM's render farm consists entirely of Renderman, CompTime and Sabre (all closed source) running on a room full of SGI Origin servers. The only Lunix they use is on workstations running CompTime, and those are being pulled out in favor of Power Mac G5s. The Lunix boxen are just too fucking hard to support.

Wow!

[karnifex]

When does this game come out and what are the system requirements?

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

u mean star wars: republic commando?!?! i see some of the scenery from the game in those trailers

Re:Wow!

[karnifex]

Lucas, ever the thoughful environmentalist, has embraced recycling wholeheartedly.

In case of /.ing: Watch SW: Anew Hope in ASCII

[j0kkk3l]

telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

To quote Obi Wan

[slyxter]

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Re:To quote Obi Wan

[why-is-it]

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

I thought that was Han Solo's line.

Re:To quote Obi Wan

[Anonymous Coward]

That too... watch the trailers.

Re:To quote Obi Wan

[Anonymous Coward]

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

I thought that was Han Solo's line.

WHOOSH!

Hear that? That's the sound of the joke flying directly over your head.

Re:To quote Obi Wan

[Graywolf]

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

I thought that was Han Solo's line.

That's right. Many SW characters have uttered that line in the movies, but I think it was Han that "invented" it. And not to be nitpicking, but it's "I HAVE a bad feeling about this".

Re:To quote Obi Wan

[Cranst0n]

Umm.. That was Han.

Re:To quote Obi Wan

[G-funk]

'You always say that man, you always say "I've got a bad feeling about this drop"'

'Yeah, well when we get back without you; I'll call your folks.'

Re:Interesting fact (mod parent down TROLL)

[Anonymous Coward]

Spouts M$ FUD about Linux [check]
Calls it 'Lunix' [check]

Yeah, I think it's obvious who the Windows loving troll is here.

This Movie Had Better Be Good!

[Dystopian Rebel]

Because if it is not good, I am going to don my cape ("blankie"), take up my light-sabre ("hockey stick with the blade cut off"), then film myself demolishing all my foes.

And I will not rest until all my foes are defeated... or Mom calls me up to dinner.

Man I sure hope she stops asking me when I'm going to get married.

Sneak Preview

[Anonymous Coward]

Sneak preview tickets are still only $2000.00.

right there with you, bro'

[Anonymous Coward]

"...and a little bit more pop action than the dark trailer that gave me hope"

is not the same as

"...and a little bit more poop action than the dark trailer that gave me hope"

Star wars and scatophilia, together at last.

Re:right there with you, bro'

[Anonymous Coward]

You'd have to be a scatophile to like these new Star Wars flicks.

I'll kill myself if I don't like this movie!!!!

[Eskimore_]

OMFG if episode 3 doesn't live up to my ultra critical, obsessive standards I'm going to kill myself!!!

Re:I'll kill myself if I don't like this movie!!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Calm down...have some Prozac-laden dip.

Re:I'll kill myself if I don't like this movie!!!!

[NanoGator]

"OMFG if episode 3 doesn't live up to my ultra critical, obsessive standards I'm going to kill myself!!!"

"OMFG!! THIS MOVIE LOOKS GREAT!!! Not only will it blow away the other movies (even though there's no real track record here to base that on...), but everybody who doesn't like it is mentally defective! Now I'm off to go stand in line for 2 months at the wrong theater!"

Re:I'll kill myself if I don't like this movie!!!!

[Holi]

Hey, here's a quarter, go find a suicide booth.

Re:I'll kill myself if I don't like this movie!!!!

[Laconian]

Hey, let's go for a two-fer!

resizing ugh!

[Anonymous Coward]

i hate when shit resizes my explorer. especially when they get the dimensions wrong and its smaller than the video

Annoying

[trurl7]

Ok, he's not up to Jar-Jar levels, but that announcer that's doing the voiceovers (the idiot that's saying "The Jedi Must Unite!") in that peppy Beverly Hills voice....just needs to go. Seeing him used for a demonstration of what happens when wookies lose would be very pleasing. Bet he wouldn't be so peppy anymore: "On May 19, my arms will fight the Ultimate Battle! Staying in their sockets! Ahhh!".

Yes this is OT. Please mod it down to make way for all that insightful, stirring, unbiased and original commentary that is /.'s reaction to Star Wars news.

Let's simplify things...

[Anonymous Coward]

THESE TRAILERS SUCK!!!
The Narrator is wrong, they're all of completely different tones (the first one is for a comedy, for chrissakes...), and they all screw over the enchantment and mystery that made the original movies great.

Not to mention, the last one spoilerizes the whole experience for people who were thinking about getting "into" the Star Wars experience since this is the last movie. "Hey Bob, I think I'll go see that new Jedi movie. I've been meaning to catch those for- that guy turns out to be Vader!? Why do I wanna see it now? I already know what happens."

Re:Let's simplify things...

[Anonymous Coward]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you don't know that Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader and is Luke's father, either you're under ten or your head's been up your ass for the last few years. This is a piece of pop culture common knowledge. The Empire Strikes Back is a spoiler for this movie. The trailor isn't.

hmmm

[rwven]

The more i watched the new ones the more i liked them... They don't fit the feel of the old ones, but they're good in their own. I went back and watched the original's again last week and for some reason i wasn't half as impressed as i was last time i saw them a couple years ago... Maybe i'm just some psycho freak special case.

Re:hmmm

[HarvardFrankenstein]

The reason you actually like the new ones is because you're not a brainless metooian who dislikes the new trilogy and the Special Editions just because everyone else does. You think on your own. To you I say: HOW DARE YOU DEFY THE HIVE??

God I hate it when it becomes trendy to piss and moan about something.

"Always on the move"

[Infonaut]

This comic throwaway line coming from Obi-Wan at the end of the first of these trailers caused a serious disturbance in The Force. I just hope he wasn't referring to his bowels.

Um.... You gotta be kidding me.

[MacTaranis]

HO lord, the narrator needs to go back and re-do it in the proper foreboding tone. I have to say the visuals are Promising, but you got to get rid of the happy go lucky, excitement it the tone! This is suppose to be a dark bleak time, a war it going on, the Jedi are being summarily wiped out from with in. What were they thinking?! I hope they movie can redeem its self.

Re:Um.... You gotta be kidding me.

[oogoliegoogolie]

That sounds alot like CNN over the last couple years.

ok george...

[hatrisc]

me: ok george, i'm not supposed to like you, so i'm gonna watch this film like *this* and if i don't like you it's your own fault. george: ok fans, i'm not supposed to write good films, so i'm gonna write and make this film like *this* and if you like it, it's your own fault.

So...

[Krater76]

... what is it that everyone expects from this movie? I haven't read any spoilers for the movie but, I mean we're all nerds here, we all know what happens:

Of all the Jedi only Yoda and Obi-wan are left, so you can expect Mace to die along with all the others. Obviously Anakin joins the Emperor and becomes dark, with the final battle against Anakin and Obi-wan in the whole 'lava extravaganza' in the previews is what physically destorys Anakin so he becomes Vader. Padme will be off with her baby (but there are really two! shocking!) to Alderaan. The Wookie angle might be something new but if you know a little back story you know how this turns out. Again the 'third' movie will end with muppets.

So really, why are the previews so upbeat? It's not as if the Jedi even have a chance at winning and everyone should know that by now. It seems like all the plot twists are reserved for episodes 4/5/6, which we've already seen. I would rather the commercials be dark, not this Nickelodeon/Disney crap.

Yes, I'm still going to go see it just like everyone else. I am a consumer whore.

Re:So...

[Anonymous Coward]

There isn't anything in the original movies that says there aren't any other old Jedi around.

Re:So...

[Anonymous Coward]

Not true!

Didn't you know that Mace was part of Lucas' vision from the start? It was only because of the oppressive studios who couldn't envision sci-fi films as being populated as anything other than caucasion lead characters - because only caucasion nerds pay to see geeky films like Star Wars - that he wasn't included.

Now that digital compositing is a reality, Lucas can instruct ILM to use Sabre software to add Mace in, and set this longstanding injustice to right.

Re:So...

[Anonymous Coward]

wondering why do R2 and C3p0 do not recognize ne1 in the following epsiodes?

My money is on a BS fairytale kids movie with nothing new 2c yet robs us of any childhood magic by trying to explain everything ... but my money is on it ;)

Re:Interesting fact (mod parent down TROLL)

[Cat_Byte]

Spouts M$ FUD about Linux [check] Calls it 'Lunix' [check] Yeah, I think it's obvious who the Windows loving troll is here.

Anger...fear....aggression....lead you to the dark side they will.

Hitchhikers

[mobydobius]

Ill be putting my faith in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. When Star Wars pisses me off Ill just go watch HHGG for a second time to cleanse my brain.

CAPS LOCK

[SuperBanana]

StarWars.com has unveiled three TV spots for STAR WARS: EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH!"

OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS... oh wait, no. Anyone else have an image of your stereotypical over-25 Star Wars fan screaming this?

Caps lock, people. It's a privledge, not a right.

Re:CAPS LOCK

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't mind because I also follow the convention to capitalize names of movies, e.g., INDIANA JONES. This just happens to be a very long titel.

Re:CAPS LOCK

[Anonymous Coward]

caps lock is so outdated and pointless i dont even know why it's on the keyboard, just use shift. and it's not a privledge or a privilege, it has nothing to do with anything omgwtfbbq goat.cx profit!

Seriously, come on...

[kc01]

Who could possibly care about this anymore?

The gap between episode 6 & 1 was so great, and all evidence is that episodes 1 & 2 were so bad that they weren't worth seeing (which is why I haven't bothered) that the Star Whores saga has lost all appeal.

Lucas's money-grubbing attitude has spoiled the whole series. Boycott episode 3, and let Lucas pay for it out of his pocket.

Formulaic Trailers

[RichMan]

Looks like they watched the HHGTTG trailer and followed the guide entry on how to make a movie trailer. The deep voice seems like a characture of itself somehoe.

Missed the women in bikini's but really delivered on the explosions.

I'm not obsessive, or hyper-critical

[realmolo]

I'm guessing this will suck. Like Ep. 1 and 2 did.

To all the people who say "just remember that it's a kid's movie, and that nostalgia makes the original Star Wars movies seem better than they were, and the new movies can never live up to your expectations, and...."

Give me a break. By ANY standard, the new movies have been bad. Kids don't really like them that much. Adults are bored to tears by them. Hell, even the toys are lame.

The most disappointing thing about them is that Lucas could have had ANYONE write and direct these movies. But no, he had to do it himself. He had to make something that fit in with his bullshit Joseph Campbell "modern myth" take on the thing.

They could've been SO much better. Hell, I'd be happy if they were just okay. But they're not.

Re: I'm not obsessive, or hyper-critical

[angusmci]

You wrote

The most disappointing thing about them is that Lucas could have had ANYONE write and direct these movies. But no, he had to do it himself. He had to make something that fit in with his bullshit Joseph Campbell "modern myth" take on the thing.

I could stand it if it were a Joseph Campbell-type "modern myth". That's what the original "Star Wars" (which I understand I am now required to call "A New Hope") was and as far as I'm concerned it worked just fine. However, Lucas now appears to be simply making it up as he goes along. The three "prequels" seem to be little more than extended backstory stitched together with splashy CGI and the requisite number of "this will show up later in the videogame" sequences. At least the motivations in the first "Star Wars" movie were fairly clear. Now I have strictly no idea who the Separatists are or what they want to be separated from, why it's necessary for some group I can't identify to occupy Natalie Portman's poster-pretty planet, or why every possible contingency seems to require the Jedi to fly to either Tatooine or some place with volcanoes.

I realize that if I actually cared to know, all I'd need to do would be to browse the entire starwars.com website and read a round dozen poorly-written paperbacks. Sadly, the last two or three sloppily put-together movies (and the approach of something resembling maturity, not to say middle age) have made it difficult for me to care.

I think there's a lesson here. For all of its faults and failings and derivativeness, the first "Star Wars" movie did actually capture people's imagination in a way that not every film manages. Call it the price of greatness, call it what you will, but maybe the fact that "Star Wars" meant so much to so many people should have put Lucas under some kind of karmic obligation not to short-change his fans. Duty required him to put in the hours, tie his Muse to the rack, and serve up something good. He didn't, and the result has been a series of increasingly lame and lazy productions. One day, maybe he'll look up from counting his millions and feel faintly ashamed.

Re:I'm not obsessive, or hyper-critical

[16K Ram Pack]

The "it's just a kids film" line is bullshit.

Babe is a kids film. Toy Story 2 is a kids film. The Incredibles was a kids film. All of them were great, entertaining movies. I've heard that the Spy Kids series is pretty good too.

In 20 years time, I don't predict kids having nostalgia about EP1/2. I think people will be bidding on Ebay for Pixar and maybe Harry Potter stuff.

He should have got some really fired up directors to do the prequels like Bryan Singer, and got a bunch of good writers to work it all through.

History will count them as a wasted opportunity. I mean, presumably Lucas could have gone and done almost anything - the studios would have released Anakin Skywalker reading from a dictionary.

People still care?

[Quiet_Desperation]

I mean, really? I'm honestly not trolling here, but isn't it clear at this point that the magic is gone when the Cartoon Network created a more compelling version with animation than the original creator? I *bought* a copy of The Clone Wars. I *might* rent ROTS.

Same thing with the Trekverse. It's time to move on.

Re:People still care?

[drxenos]

So, Clone Wars was good? I saw preview when my daughter was watching CN. I asked her to tell me when they said it would be on again.

In other news...

[Anonymous Coward]

Joseph Razinger, former Hitler Jungen member has been elected the new Pope.

I think it's time

[WormholeFiend]

for George to pass the Star Wars torch to someone else

Re:I think it's time

[Albertosaurus]

This is without a doubt the most uplifting thing I've seen all day.

For those a little worried about this movie...

[writermike]

I've noticed that if you sing the theme song from Revenge of The Nerds, substituting Sith for Nerds, you tend to feel a little less anxious about the quality of the movie.

Just a thought.

"Revenge of the Sith...
SITH!
Revenge of the Sith...
Huhhuhuh
Revenge of the Sith ...
SITH!"

Wookies!

[Cat_Byte]

LOL I paused the one where it showed all of the wookies and it looks like an invasion of sasquach (sp?).

nice try, but you fail

[Anonymous Coward]

you are to comedy what hayden christensen is to acting

Re:Interesting fact

[Anonymous Coward]

Amazing what thirty seconds on google will do:

http://www.linuxjournal.com/articles/lj/0099/6011/ 6011s1.html

ILM says they have rarely seen artists get excited by hardware, but artists fought to get the new Linux workstations--Dell single-CPU P4s with NVIDIA Quadra 2 Pro graphics cards. The question became, "Where's my Linux box?"

Lucas's hairy obsession.....

[evenprime]

Hmmmmm.....clip number two has a wookie army howling in unison. Who wants to bet that after the movie is released there will be a TV special called The Wild Wookie Adventure

Re:Lucas's hairy obsession.....

[CoffeeJedi]

that would rock actually
Ewok Adventure: cute n' cuddly, you know, for kids!
Wookie Adventure: brutal, savage, and just arms getting ripped from their sockets every other scene

Re:Lucas's hairy obsession.....

[Anonymous Coward]

Or maybe.....
The Wookie Action Tales,

Lucas's other hairy obsession.

AC

Re:Lucas's hairy obsession.....

[DrKyle]

I think you mean, The Wet'n'Wild Wookie Weekend! where we get to see what happens with wookies on Spring Break.

Re:Lucas's hairy obsession.....

[Anonymous Coward]

These wookies are uncut and uncensored. You've never seen wookies like this before!

Re:Lucas's hairy obsession.....

[ExtraT]

These wookies are uncut and uncensored. You've never seen wookies like this before!

You probably meant to say they are cut and uncensored. I mean, can you seen anything beneath all that fur?

woot

[Anonymous Coward]

I got to see the trailers before they got slashdotted!!!!!

*picks up Trilogy DVDs*

[Anonymous Coward]

*pops Trilogy DVDs into tray*
*feels 8yrs old again*

Just because the new movies suck doesn't mean our expectations are magically in the way. The old movies still do it. The new ones don't.

squid in bikinis

[evenprime]

Looks like they watched the HHGTTG trailer and followed the guide entry on how to make a movie trailer. The deep voice seems like a characture of itself somehoe.

Missed the women in bikini's but really delivered on the explosions.

They didn't want to spoil the surprise for the viewing public when Lucas puts squid into bikinis and has them do an ester williams routine.

I can't wait for this movie to come out...

[FrankieBoy]

...so it'll be over and there will be no more articles about it on Slashdot.

Re:I can't wait for this movie to come out...

[bonaman_24]

...or you will have all sorts of polls and daily postings about people's reaction of the film.
Then you will have posts of people wanting to have it be a steady show or a string of movies like Star Trek.
You will hear about it relentlessly in some form or another forever as how a franchise was killed.

Re:I can't wait for this movie to come out...

[X86Daddy]

...so it'll be over and there will be no more articles about it on Slashdot.

You're forgetting about the Slashdot articles for:

• When the DVD release date is announced
  
• When the DVD comes out
  
• When people catalog the differences between the DVD version and the theatrical release
  
• When the boxed set of Episodes 1-3 release date is announced
  
• When the boxed set of Episodes 1-3 is released
  
• When the differences between the theatrical release, the first, and the second versions of the Episode 3 DVD are catalogged
  
• When the boxed set of Episodes 1 - 6 is announced
  
• ...
  
• When the boxed set of Sony PSP versions of Episodes 1-6 and the 2 Ewok movies comes out and everyone speculates on what scenes are cut
  
• ...
  
• When the theatrical re-release of Episode III finally airs and all the fans are pissed because they digitally replaced the lightsabers with walkie talkies
  

More Like "Revenge of the Shit"

[cyberguyd]

I have not watched any Star Wars movie since Episode 6 which all it took was one time, teddy bears beating up storm troopers, bloody hell! I'll watch 4 and 5 over and over but I would rather stick my finger down my throat rather than watching any of the others. Fischer, Ford, and Hamill must have been wacked out their minds to do 6, (I know Fischer was!).

Re:More Like "Revenge of the Shit"

[16K Ram Pack]

I think I must be the only person here who actually likes ROTJ.

There are some good bits if you can accept and ignore the ewoks being there.

Revenge of ILM

[Princess Tarja]

Just as I posted the other day about nothing interesting has come from the star wars universe since the first 2 films.I see a lot of posts today not exactly thrilled with the spots for this new film. guess my crystal ball was ahead of it's time

Pseudo-Spoiler Warning

[GenSolo]

a little bit more pop action than the dark trailer that gave me hope

Well, based on the fact that virtually all of the Jedi are wiped out by the time of A New Hope, you ought to expect a lot of lightsaber action in the movie. Really, aside from the audio of the annoying announcer whose voice was way too happy for what was going on in the video, it's still a set of pretty dark TV spots. [I think at this point still] Chancellor Palpatine flies out of his chair with a lightsaber at the number-two Jedi for crying out loud.

That, and we see Star Destroyers. That gives me hope. My only concern is that I don't know if the movie starts with a mood-setting Star Destroyer passing over the camera. Really, judging by the past, we have a pattern. Star Wars movies opening with Star Destroyers: good; Star Wars movies opening without Star Destroyers: bad.

Am I the only one?

[kiddailey]

I swear... I was fully expecting the helmet to come off at the end of that last spot followed by:

"Owwww! This helmet is chafing my eyebrows!"

Those clips...

[DrXym]

... make the third film seem even worse than I imagined. It's just yet more CGI, laid on with thick trowel. It's almost as Lucas has heard the criticism of the first two films, concluded that this one will realise his vision (when it won't) and ploughed on regardless. "Hey we didn't get the CG right last time, so let's put even more in!".

Now CG can work when it's seamless, but CG for CG's sake stopped being fun a long time ago. It wouldn't be so bad if it looked realistic but it doesn't.

I can't wait.

[Beefslaya]

This will be out on DVD by Christmas (maximum sales impact).

I will then purchase this as a used DVD from Hollywood Video (unless Walmart has it cheap).

Going to pick up a case of beer, 3 bags of Doritos...sit down watch Episode I, II, III, IV, V, and VI...right in a row.

Then I will promptly put all 6 in a shoebox, and bury them next to my cat, in the backyard, for some final fucking closure, that I would never have to see another Lucas Film again.

Why did he have to ruin the childhood memories of seeing the Trilogy in the movie theaters? LIAR!! LIAR!!!

Just in case you missed that ;)

[kiddailey]

Best Star Wars trailer ever

Uber-marketing

[gosand]

Show all the CGI in the trailers you want, doesn't make it a good film... You notice how the original star wars trailers talk about an experience where as these new ones talk about emotions that morons will find appealing (e.g. how cool is it to blow stuff up!)

It's ALL marketing BS-speak. EVERYTHING now is greater than you can imagine. TV episodes are referred to as "television events" that "you can't afford to miss". Movies are "blockbusters" before they are even released. Every song is a "hit single". Every album is "best-selling". It is all just meaningless crap. Do they keep doing this because it works, or because marketing people are just slime at heart?

Uber-marketing has made words meaningless, unless of course you are a gullible sheep.

Re:Uber-marketing

[drinkypoo]

Do they keep doing this because it works, or because marketing people are just slime at heart?

Yes.

Re:Uber-marketing

[DarkMorph]

On top of this, I'm sick of seeing on DVD covers phrases like "Best picture of the year." I wonder which movies actually did win those awards, and if those awards mean anything towards the quality of the movie. Pff.

Re:Uber-marketing

[16K Ram Pack]

It's also part of the thing of "movie events". Movies get released in a big bang now, often to protect an investment. If a movie is cruddy, at least the opening weekend with recoup some of the cost.

In old days (eg 1977) movies got released in only a few places and then spread.

I have teh good idea!

[DroopyStonx]

Let's continuously complain and whine about how "bad" this movie will be months before it comes out simply because everyone else is doing it!

Then when we say something REALLY bad about it, we can head to Slashdot and get mod posts!

Like this:

omg, jar jar sux. And Anakin is in love, wtf.

Here's one you didn't see coming: Darth Vader is only in the last 5 minutes.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[2short]

"Here's one you didn't see coming: Darth Vader is only in the last 5 minutes."

Why the hell wouldn't we see that coming? Darth Vader is a menacing dramatic antagonist; he's part of what made the first movie good. Obviously we're not going to see much of that. It's easy to seee things coming with this movie; just ask yourself, which would I rather see, more Vader or less Vader? More Vader. So obviously the movie will have less Vader.

What I think is funny is the people like you coming out saying the last two movies were actually good (and thus this one will be) because you think it's cool to be different; an obvious sign that you are able to look deeper into these movies than the rest of us. There's nothing wrong with being different, but there isn't any "deeper" in these movies. Almost everyone doesn't like them. Maybe we're all mysteriously blind to the qualities you have the near unique insight to see. Or maybe the movies just blow chunks.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[DroopyStonx]

I never said anything about the first two movies. Not even once, so the whole "because you think it's cool to be different" thing is pretty much crushed.

No no, in actuality, the movies aren't that bad seeing as how the first ones were kinda bad in the same sense (in terms of acting and whatnot).

It's the "cool" thing to do to ramble on and on about how much Lucas sucks. Don't believe me? Go look at all the posts that are modded up - almost each one is some mindless droning on and on about how their childhood is ruined or that they're going to hate the rest of their lives because the first three star wars didn't get them all giddy like they did when they were NINE YEARS OLD.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[NormalVisual]

I certainly haven't had my childhood ruined by the latest batch of Star Wars flicks, nor do I particularly care about coming across as cool or other such silliness.

That said, with the budget that Lucas undoubtedly had going into these movies, I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed by Jar Jar. I'm disappointed with the casting of Jake Lloyd when actors such as Haley Joel Osment were available. I'm disappointed with the scene where Padme is telling Anakin they have to remain apart whilst sitting in front of a romantic fire wearing a sexy tight leather/rubber number. I'm disappointed with the silly "lava surfing" scene which apparently made it into the final cut of the new film, judging from the latest trailers. I'm disappointed with the whole thrown-together idea of bacterial creatures that apparently bind the universe together, even inanimate matter. I'm disappointed by the fact that with all the money that was available, Lucas couldn't recognize his limitations and let someone more capable than himself take the reins, and turn it into something truly wonderful. It's rather like the way Michael Eisner micromanages at Disney, and can't let people do what they're best at because he has to have his hands in everything.

Do I think Lucas sucks? No, there are positives to the new movies as well. Having Ian McDiarmid reprise his role was well worth whatever it cost. Likewise, no one but John Williams could score these films effectively. However, I really don't think the new films are in the same league as the older ones in terms of casting, direction, and most of all, story. I sincerely hope that the new film will be good, and from the leaked screenplays I've seen, it looks like it might actually have a fighting chance.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[2short]

"I never said anything about the first two movies"

Right, but you do in fact think they are "not that bad". It seems pretty reasonable that people who have opinions on the probable quality of this movie are basing those assumptions on the previous two.

"the first ones were kinda bad in the same sense (in terms of acting and whatnot)."
I thought the acting in the first ones was better, but I'll readily admit it wasn't that great. The acting, while it didn't help much, isn't really why the last two sucked. They sucked because the writing was lame, and they had none of the sense of a great struggle between good and evil. We cared what happened to Luke because even despite his whiny acting, his charachter had sufficient development that we got to know who he was, and were rooting for him. We're supposed to care what happens to Anakin because we're told right from the start he's important, but he's really just a bratty kid, or an adolescent to tediously angstful to stand. Oh, nevermind. I could go on as long as you like about why (IMO) the new ones don't work, but it doesn't really matter.
You're correct, the new movies don't get me all giddy like they did when I was nine. But they don't get current nine-year-olds all giddy either, nor any significant number of people of any demographic. The last two movies ran for a few months and did pretty well I guess. The original Star Wars was playing at a theater near me for several years. The original is a tough yardstick, but what are we supposed to measure sequels against? The new ones have not had nearly the critical or popular acclaim. What bugs me is that it seems pretty easy to see why.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[DroopyStonx]

Right, but you do in fact think they are "not that bad".

Oh really? Hahaha, and how do you know this?

Re:I have teh good idea!

[2short]

Well, call me crazy, but when someone says, "in actuality, the movies aren't that bad", I conclude that they think the movies, uh, aren't that bad. And when they incredulously questijn such a conclusion, I further conclude they are just trying to be difficult, but aren't smart enough to do it effectively.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[DroopyStonx]

*vroooooooom*

Right over your head ;)

Re:I have teh good idea!

[2short]

uh, yeah, whatever you say.

Re:I have teh good idea!

[DroopyStonx]

Heh.. you aren't too smart, are you?

Re:I have teh good idea!

[2short]

No, sorry, I'm not too smart; heck I'm not even smart enough to understand how one could be too smart. I mean, too smart for what?
Anyway, please, have pity on poor dopey me, and explain what super clever point you were making by asking how I knew you thought the movies weren't that bad the very post after you said exactly that. To one as dumb as poor little me, it sure looks like you just said something idiotic, and are pretending there was some deeper meaning I was missing. I'm sure that's not the case, since you obviously are too smart for that. So please, walk through it real slow, so even a dope like me can understand your brilliance.

Obfuscated URL's

[Milikki]

In my neverending battle against people who make it hard to just D/L this stuff, I offer up the following links:

http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movie s/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction1_480_dl .mov
http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/m ovies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction2_480_dl .mov
http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/m ovies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction3_480_dl .mov

I don't do HTML, so if anyone wants to make those clicky, feel free.

Kevin

Re:Obfuscated URL's

[Milikki]

Crud, I goofed, that last one should be

http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movie s/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_unite_480_dl.mov

sorry

Kevin

Just tell me this...

[PCM2]

...does Senator Palpatine turn out to be Darth Sidious? Does he? Damn, I bet he does. You guys just wait! You'll be saying you heard it here first, mark my words...

Re:Just tell me this...

[Master Ben]

That would completely blow my mind. I guess I'll do some spoiling to, I have a feeling Obi Wan gets killed off as well.

Re:Just tell me this...

[Anonymous Coward]

...does Senator Palpatine turn out to be Darth Sidious? Does he? Damn, I bet he does.

That's just stupid. Darth Sidious wears a heavy cloak with a hood. Senator Palpatine never wears a cloak with a hood. Being a villain is one thing, but do you really believe he would be afford, on a meager Senator's salary, TWO different wardrobes?

Then there is the utter folly of even suggesting that a public servant of a stable democracy would ever act in a way to abridge the rights of its citizens. It just doesn't make sense!

Re:Just tell me this...

[lee1026]

yes he does. and all all the jedi die in one big huge ambush. not a big huge lightsaber battle. Obi-Wan defeats Anakin, but darth sidious shows up to prevent him from getting finished off.

./getAllStarwars3Clips.sh

[Anonymous Coward]

#! /bin/sh
wget http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction1_480_dl .mov
wget http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction2_480_dl .mov
wget http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_unite_480_dl.mov

Enjoy!

http://www.jdodson.org

Re:./getAllStarwars3Clips.sh

[jcuervo]

#!/bin/sh
for f in jediaction1 jediaction2 unite; do
wget http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_$f_480_dl.mov
done

Less typing. :-)

poor yoda!

[AndreySeven]

OMG, seeing Yoda hanging on to a cliff makes me want to see the movie now. How will the show continue if he dies ? *sobs*

Re:poor yoda!

[Anonymous Coward]

As long as he doesn't say "Fools, you are. Run, you must!"

No, the first two really aren't so bad

[Andy DC]

if you watch with a five-year old's mindset. I do watch them all the time with my five-year old, and while "we" like all of them, we like episode 6 best (I always hated those stuffed animals, but he loves them, and now I don'd really mind). And 1 and 2 are pretty cool -- we usually skip to the battle scenes in 2, which are really amazing. And, by the way, 4 is pretty lame, with lots of not-so-dramatic action.

By the way, Jar Jar is pretty funny, too.

Warning, spoiler...

[Kyrene]

No, actually, Padme won't be off to Alderaan. But I've read the book already so I know what happens. :)

The divorce killed all hope...

[Anonymous Coward]

Word from the mouth of the ILM guys that just wrapped the production is that the movie sucks. Skip it.

Rumor also has it that Lucas' wife was responsible for making 4 & 5 reasonable films. Guess he shouldn't have divorced her...

Re:poor yoda! SPOILER!

[Anonymous Coward]

Guess what? Yoda doesn't die in episode 3! Shocker!

Re:Interesting fact

[albino eatpod]

That may well be the case, but the SABRE referred to is ILM's proprietary v/fx and compositing system.

I still have hope

[stoanhart]

It might be good. I hope it's good. Here's been my impression of the last few films: Ep. 1) Mostly shit. Pod race was neat. Ep. 2) Started out crappy, but got better towards the end (except that stupid romantic scene). The end, with all the Star Destroyers taking off, Palpatine looking evil, and the legions of storm troopers marching into ships was just plain f*cking awsome. Ep. 3) If the trend continues (gradual improvement), this should be sweet. We got Vader, we got dark Palpatine, we got the eradication of the Jedi we've been hearing so much about, and there should be precious few crappy love scenes.

Don't be so harsh

[pmancini]

The funny part of your diatribe is when you state "like they got the narrator for a feel good Disney movie to appeal to the kiddies." Hello! From the beginning this was a film for the kiddies. Note the PG rating. Until now its been PG all the way.

Back in 1977 I was 12 years old and what really got me excited about the film was a TV ad like one of these with a similar friendly announcer that was shown the Saturday of the opening weekend. We saw the film that afternoon.

I am now dating a woman who is 25 and had never seen any of the films. So this past week we watched all 5. Everyone has their favorites and they also have bits that they hate about the different films. Here are some interesting comments she made: She liked the Ewoks, she even liked Phantom Menace. Upon watching it with her and explaining what was going on I realized I like the structure of Phantom Menace and the part of the story that is told in it. I also realized that the "veiled racism" is really just coloring viewers add - there is nothing overtly racist in it. Its a real stretch to claim the characters *represent* real world cultures. The biggest problems with Phantom Menace are the dialog which isn't punchy enough and the acting which I think lacks the proper reaction because you have actors in green rooms talking to thin air - that type of acting will progress over time but I think classically trained actors are used to reacting to something they can see.

The 5th movie is a blast. It is a lot of fun and there is a lot of action. The dialog is much better and the acting is a lot better. Hayden Christensen actually does a decent job with the script and I think the main issue is not his acting range (which should improve over time) but the script itself. He does emote frustration, anger, happiness, joy, brooding, etc. The script itself could probably tighten up the transitions though and it doesn't.

Even with that said, episode II moves along a lot faster and doesn't have some of the more difficult plot complications of Episode I. When you look at a book like Dune you see an interesting and complex interconnection of science and mysticism. We have that here too in the Star Wars saga. One thing stands in contrast though - Frank Hurbert can include appendixes and go on for several pages about the subtlties of these concepts. In a 2 hour movie Lucas can at best hope to give us a hint of what he means. Things like the symbiosis of the Midi-chlorians and the immaculate conception of Anakin are difficult enough to explain on paper let alone in 15 seconds on film. In going over the additional information available from the official sites it becomes more clear what Lucas means when he inserts this stuff. It is a question for film makers: how do you do it differently without affecting the tone of the story or slowing it to a crawl while you lecture?

Lucas was inspried a bit by watching Japanese films. He enjoyed them without having to fully understand them. In those films the Japanese don't explain everything about their culture (actually quite the opposite they explain nothing) and its up to the viewer to interpret or just accept and move on. The problem initially I had with the Imaculate Conception of Anakin is its too close to Christian beliefs about The Christ. The Will of the Force thus becomes an intelligence and one that is all pervasive much like God. Its hard to escape that conclusion. The problem with the alegory is that Anakin isn't Jesus but a person who has a hard life, becomes corrupted into a force of Evil and 25-30 years later finds partial redemption and perhaps does bring balance to the Force by getting rid of the Sith Master.

I am looking forward to this 6th installment of the series. Mainly because it wraps things up. In many ways the story is already well known. We know all the roads that get to here.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[bigdady92]

Now I know you are lying. There is no way a 40 something yr old that posts on slashdot dates a 25yr old and makes her watch Starwars all evening for FREE?!?!?!

Re:Don't be so harsh

[riptide_dot]

Its hard to escape that conclusion. The problem with the alegory is that Anakin isn't Jesus but a person who has a hard life, becomes corrupted into a force of Evil and 25-30 years later finds partial redemption and perhaps does bring balance to the Force by getting rid of the Sith Master.

I've always had a hard time with this part of the storyline specifically - what exactly does "balance to the force" mean in the SW Universe? If one was going to compare it to, say, D&D, then "balance" would mean a balance of good and evil (neutral). Back in TPM and AOTC, there were a *lot* of Jedi, and not too many Sith. So does that imply that Anakin brought "balance to the force" not necessarily by redeeming himself, but by becoming a Sith and exterminating the Jedi (thus "balancing" the ration of Jedi to Sith)? Or does "balance" in the SW Universe really just mean "more Jedi, more peace, less Sith"?

Re:Don't be so harsh

[zippthorne]

You're right. He should have made her buy the popcorn.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[rikkards]

I got the impression that the Jedi thought the latter was the destiny while the former was actually what was going to happen.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[bjdevil66]

My brother, who's read many Star Wars books, said that one writer tackled this by suggesting there can be only one Jedi and one Sith at one time. I don't recall the book title or author...

Re:Don't be so harsh

[Anonymous Coward]

40 days in the wilderness?

The only thing that can save episode 6 from total insipidity is the fact that it cannot possibly have a happy ending.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't recall him saying she watched them for free.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[pmancini]

Trust me it wierds me out too. Also, I look 25 - genetic freak of nature (and also the benefits of programming in dark places means I don't let evil sunlight age my skin!)

She's in school to be a dentist so already she is wierd (she willingly wants to put her hands into other people's dirty mouths...)

Finally, we watched them over a week.

In a way I've corrupted her much like Palpatine corrupted Anakin. I took her to Origins one year and introduced her to gaming and like minded geeks who wear costumes. I got her to like Risk (LotR's version is her favorite.) Its funny really. She was a conservative from Vermont (NH border, Red State influence I guess) and now she is a full fleged geek with a pocket PC (she did a term paper at a bar with it!)

Life is full of strange things!

Re:Don't be so harsh

[NormalVisual]

Maybe "Balance" is the trademark for a bleach-like cleaner that kills midichlorians on contact? I understand those little pests are *everywhere* in the SW universe. A good cleaner would be beneficial to everyone, what with all the dirty spaceships and such to be seen there.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[Anonymous Coward]

I went through a similar process when trying to understand why I liked the prequels when all I hear from others is how hard a vacuum they drew. You/she pretty much nailed my own take on some of the oft-repeated sore points. I agree that the prequels are flawed, but I think that they are still stunningly realized, and quite entertaining if one is willing to look at them for what they are, instead of what one wanted them to be.

I've always found the "racist" claim to be more indicative of the claimant than the movie itself. I seriously doubt Lucas et al were taking swipes at the various ethnic groups. In fact, just the opposite: they were trying to make each group of aliens act different, like the cultures of our world do. To make the "alien" behavioral patterns more accessible to the general public, they chose to pull from recognizable stereotypes instead of developing something truly new. This lead to people getting their panties in a wad because of their own inability to separate the stereotype from the ethnicity they associate it with. But I doubt the alternative would have been accepted any better: witness how badly people reacted to the vampires in Van Helsing. Ignoring its many other problems, that movie did a decent job of showing vampire culture as being truly different than human culture. And people did not like it.

Also, are you sure the "wooden" acting is due to the green screen? I rather thought that Lucas was directing the actors to act that way--you know, enlightened serenity, regal poise, pomp, wisdom, that sort of thing. You can see the same thing in the progression of Luke's behavior during IV-VI: he gets more "wooden" as he gets more enlightened. The problem with the prequels is that the stiff postures are all we saw from the human cast; all the more expressive acting came from the critters, which just served to underline how stiff the humans were acting. III is showing promise of cracking the veneer, though, with human characters finally starting to show raw feelings instead of measured responses.

If the trailers are any indication, III will be just as good as those that preceded it. For me, this means a movie with questionable dialogue, stunning visuals, far too many coincidences and forward references, exciting battles, a simplistic yet epic plot, great alien and mech designs, the occasional WTF? moment, and suspense and surprise even though the end result is already known.

It should be a blast.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[pmancini]

That is a fantastic question!

I thought about that too. I think that when the Force is in equalibrium then things like Sith Masters don't generate. When there is balance then there is peace.

How did the Force become unbalanced is another question. I think this part is up to speculation/interpretation.

Good question. You should get modded up.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[pmancini]

"Also, are you sure the "wooden" acting is due to the green screen?"

Yeah, that's an assumption on my behalf. It all depends on how much the director lets the actor act. I've been in one film (Daltry Calhoun, coming out later this year I think) and from what I gathered from the other actors - this director was rather picky about how things should look exactly. A director like Clint Eastwood on the other hand will do 3 takes MAXIMUM on a scene.

I think the Green rooms and CGI was hard to act with. In acting classes I've been in one of the things we did was acting towards a mirror - seeing yourself and getting to the heart of the emotion you are trying to portray. Its great feedback. When you are told "ok the tall floppy eared fellow will be here (points to thin air) and he'll act like a cheesy coward. Ok! Action!" hehe!

Movies should be directed more like the sequence in "Orgasmo" with Ron Jeremy. Its a howl but that film is not for everyone... best watched at 3am as you are winding down from a wild night.

And I agree, it looks like it will be a blast.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[sharkdba]

She was a conservative ... and now she is a full fleged geek...

Are you implying that a geek must be a leftist liberal in nature, or maybe that a conservative cannot be a geek? I find it a little strange.

Re:Don't be so harsh

[pmancini]

She isn't a leftist (by any stretch) but she did look down upon geeks in my opinion. I think most geeks are more open minded about unconventional thinking than conservatives who, by definition, tend towards the tried and true.

Don't you know...

[frank_adrian314159]

"It's dead, Ji...". OOPS, wrong story. Sorry.

max size

[circusboy]

There was a scientific american article some years back about Murphy's law. The article was trying to prove that Murphy's law was a universal constant and was using the fact that bread always landed butter side down as the start of its proof. in order to prove this, the writers went into a great deal of detail about rotational speed of toast falling off a table, the range of table heights that were required for a 180 degree turn of the bread, and the beings that might sit at such a table.

The end result of the article was a proof that the maximum height of a bipedal being, (one that would not crack its skull and die every time it fell over,) was about 9'8", and such a being would use a table that was of a height that fit into the previously described range, therefore Murphy's law, (as it applied to bread landing butter side down,) was in fact a universal truth.

I think the article was printed around '95 so you have to buy the archive... http://www.sciamdigital.com/browse.cfm?ITEMIDCHAR= A3B20D65-8339-4260-A5D1-4E6E083116A&methodnameCHAR =&interfacenameCHAR=browse.cfm&ISSUEID_CHAR=C2A9E0 84-7CAA-4ABC-9BAE-BF9C44829FB&ArticleTypeSubInclud e_BIT=0&sequencenameCHAR=itemP

(for those who read this far, it wasa joke...)

a funny exception

[Anonymous Coward]

Check out Episode IV's scene in Mos Eisley as they are about to see the MF for the first time.

There are a bunch of aliens mulling about. Then, a pair of sticks crosses the foreground. They are thin and easy to miss. It wasn't until maybe the 5th or 6th viewing did I realize that they were the legs of a GIANT alien.

But aside from that, yeah, little variation :-)

But that's the whole point!

[FunWithHeadlines]

"Starwars has been moving more and more to a TV soap opera type thing for a while now using tired old tools many of which have been borrowed from other films of the past. Yoda hanging on to a ledge? This seems to be a common theme in Star Wars films and perhaps action films of all kinds. Remember the quote from another geek fav? Run you fools!. Slapstick comments from C3PO and the scream of R2D2 are just stereotyped now. "

Yes, and deliberately so. That's what Lucas was trying to do was to return to the form of the old film serials of the past, and to use the usual Campbell Myth plots to tell that story. Of course this stuff is familiar -- it's meant to be!

SF can be innovate in writing, but only when doing something innovate in design. When you deliberately set out to resurrect the cheesey serials, you get high cheese factor as a matter of course. As for getting away from the High Quest themes, good luck buddy. Ain't nothing new there since Homer. Good writing or bad writing, all stories are going to revolve around a handful of plot archetypes.

Interesting sentiment...

[Anonymous Coward]

... coming from a guy named "Master Ben"

You are still alive, sir, at least until ep. IV...

Re:you insensiTiveH clod!

[Anonymous Coward]

i think you forgot your goat.cx link?

MC PeePants

[Anonymous Coward]

...and make it "I want candy" by MC Peepants!

Re:Interesting fact

[Anonymous Coward]

You gianormous asshat. That article is from three years ago. ILM deployed a bunch of CompTime machines with Lunix JUST LIKE THE POSTER SAID, and discovered that even compared to their SGI boxen, they were incredibly hard to manage. So they ported CompTime to OSX and are replaceing their Lunix boxen with Mac workstations JUST LIKE THE POSTER SAID.

You suck d00d.

Is it just me...

[crimoid]

..or does the commentator in the spots sound like a complete tool?

Re:Interesting fact

[NanoGator]

"But the CGI was frelling fantastic."

Yes, it was frelling, but it wasn't fantastic.

Myself and quite a few other professional 3d artists have NOT been impressed by the CG in this movie. Not only is the color palette nauseating, but the effect is far from realistic. It's a step BACKWARDS from Episode I. The space scenes in particular... blerg.

Believe me, we've nitpicked the shit out of EpIII. Hehe.

As usual, Slashdot goes to auto-bashing mode again

[ardor]

I want to know how many of you are bashing Star Wars because the other do it. I for one like Ep2, Ep5 and Ep6 most (except that annoying romance scenes in Ep2 and the Ewoks in Ep6). I found Ep4 to be quite uninteresting and cheesy, and Ep1 quite boring.

Ep3 looks promising, and I don't fucking care about the CGI. The battle scenes at the end of Ep2 and Ep6 are awesome. The only danger for this movie could be an exaggeration of the Anakin-Amidala story. This bogged down Ep2, and could be problematic for this one.

more like...

[Anonymous Coward]

Passion of the Sith
am i right? am i right?!?!

"Pop" Action?

[FuroTheRed]

As opposed to the highly sophisticated, culturally advanced action of the original trilogy?

BROOKLMan, I hate to say it - these trailers Suck!

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, I like the fact that we got to see a little more, but man, these trailers were made for 8 year olds. I guess that's the point?

I just lost interest in this movie ...

Then I watched the Theatrical trailer and was motivated once again.

I hope we don't see too many fights on animals, ala the quick scene with Obi on some sort of bronto-thing.

Jar Jar funny?

[Anonymous Coward]

If I hadn't used all my mod points already, I'd mod you troll...

Narration ...

[Leeesher]

They definitely would have done better having the narrations done by that one 7 foot tall man who has been smoking cigarettes since childbirth... you know the one.

It's the dialogue, stupid!

[RandomBitFlipper]

IMHO, the real problem with the prequels is the awful, peurile dialogue in the screenplay.

Think about it. The story line and SW Universe is still pretty good and compelling. On paper, there are a good bunch of actors (who appear horrible with the dumb lines in the script), and of course the effects are great.

Just imagine if the dialogue was rewritten, sans all the "whiny"-ness from Anakin. Even (_shudder_) Jar-Jar might have been tolerable with decent lines and without the idiotic "mee-sa" patois. They would still never measure up to the expectations from the ground-breaking originals, but these flix might actually be pretty good.

Spot #3 targeted towards kids??

[matthewcharlesgoeden]

Didn't Spot #3 seem more kid friendly? It just didn't seem as 'dark' as the first two. I am not exactly sure on the particulars, but it seemed like their was a different 'annoucer' or he spoke differently and maybe the music was more 'uplifting?"

Is this general practice for movies? Release specially tailored trailers to specific audiences and channels?

Re:Spot #3 targeted towards kids??

[Anonymous Coward]

Ya think?

BTW, it's TOTALLY kiddie to me, too. Seeing the trailer gave me some hope. Listening to this spot #3 took it away.

"Hey kids! Come watch the neato forces of good fight those big bad nasty bad guys in the wackiest Star Wars of them all!" *cue Chewie growl*

Re:Obfuscated URL's(with clicky links)

[vonsneerderhooten]

http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction1_480_dl .mov
http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_jediaction2_480_dl .mov
http://pdl.stream.aol.com/aol/us/moviefone/movies/ 2004/lucasfilm/hyperspace/epiii_unite_480_dl.mov

And..

[lheal]

1. Soylent Green is made from humans
2. The Planet of the Apes is Earth after the Bomb
3. Jake and Elwood pay off the church mortgage but have to go to prison
4. James Bond diffuses the bomb, just in the nick of time
5. Neo is the One.

Length?

[DarkMorph]

This better be like three and a half hours long, I feel like there is still a lot of story that requires explanation. Just because of the way Episodes I and II went, this one might be "bad" too. Is there a way to buy the classics on DVD without the horrible CG edits? The edited Jabba looks terrible.

Wow, that looks ridiculous

[aztektum]

So it's true. In spot 1 there's a brief shot of Anakin and Obi-Wan lava surfing. Hang ten dude!

What did I juest see?

[jpellino]

Three Mattel ads, or something that's supposed to get me interested in seeing the wrapup to an epic that started 27 years ago...

These looked like toy ads. The only thing missing was "Now with kung-fu grip!" Depressing especially when you see the progressionl of ads from 1977 that was on the EPII bonus features - the first ads for Star Wars were embarrasingly bad, they evolved and got pretty good by ROTJ. These feel like the earlier ones. And not in a good, nostalgic way. Maybe it was the hiatus, but the EPI trailers and spots made you want to see what was new and going to happen. In some ways Lucas has painted himself into a corner, as we all know what must happen for ANH to occur.

But everyone knew what happened to the Titanic, and still everyone went to see the film. Everyone who wanted to see LOTR already knew the story, but you want to see the epic unfold on the screen - to see it brought to life. So where's the life? These trailers are full of gritty one-liners that tell you very little of what's in the story, and barely give you enough time to recognize characters. Maybe it's the TV attention span, but I doubt it. These movies demand good storytelling - it's actually a 12-hour narrative when you line them all up - it needs to work and you need to get the story arcs, or else they won't be remembered, even if they make lots of money. God knows they played loose with some of LOTR but the continuum worked. And the characters were convincing.

I didn't think it was possible to coax a more wooden performance out of the likes of Ewen McGregor (Trainspotting, Life Less Ordinary, etc...) and Natalie Portman (The Professional, Garden State...) But he did.

I'll see it, in the theaters, of course. I hope there's much, much more than has been in the trailers. Then some time this fall, I'll pull the phone from the wall and watch all six movies in order some weekend and take in the big picture. So far I think it will work, if for no other reason than the movies definitely get better as you watch them in order - and start to get 'deeper' if such judgments are allowed about all this.

Dipshit.

[Anonymous Coward]

People like you are the reason we need a "Funny - Sarcastic" mod.

Sith Happens

[Ranger]

***MAJOR SPOILER***





All but three of the Jedi die: Obi Wan, Yoda, and Anakin (and becomes Darth Vader). But before he becomes Darth he knocks up Princess Amidala with twins. Oh and R2D2 and C3PIO survive.

Since there will be no more Star Wars movies, though there could be endless revisions, Lucas can do whatever he wants. So long as the movie covers the what leads up to Episode IV it'll do it's job.

The only surprise here is who is the new major annoying character going to be in Episode III? He/she/it will be in the company of Jar Jar Binks, young Anakin Skywalker, C3PIO, young Luke Skywalker, that stupid creature that Jabba the Hut had, and, of course, the entire Ewok race.

Re:Sith Happens

[Anonymous Coward]

UGH! WTF MAN!

Arnold Schwarzenegger?!?

[Temsi]

Is it me, or did General Grievous sound just like Arnold Schwarzenegger? "Kahrush them!"

Seriously folks... as good as the trailer looked, these are downright idiotic.
They felt like the overblown ads for The Apprentice.

Good.

[Sairret]

The herd could use a little thinning anyway.

Quicktime always has lame audio -Re:Lame audio...

[Anonymous Coward]

The picture is usually fine, but the audio is always very tinny and not too good.

My thought upon watching the trailer..

[TrevorB]

My thought upon watching the trailer..

Now with 240% MORE LIGHTSABERS!

Re:The O.C. - Nevermind.

[Anonymous Coward]

The O.C., otherwise known as Orange County, California, is an idyllic paradise - a wealthy, harbor-front community where everything and everyone appears to be perfect. But beneath the surface is a world of shifting loyalties and identities, of kids living secret lives, hidden from their parents, and of parents living secret lives, hidden from their children. Ryan Atwood, a troubled teen from the wrong side of the tracks who is thrust into this world, will soon learn that nothing is what it seems. He moves to the O.C. when Sandy Cohen, an idealistic pro-bono public defender, invites him to stay in his guest house. Sandy's wife, Kirsten, wealthy and beautiful, former homecoming queen, perfect spouse, mother, and business woman, isn't happy that Ryan has moved in. And she's worried about how it will affect their teenage son Seth, a soulful dreamer ostracized by his peers. Making the whole situation more interesting is Marissa Cooper, the heartbreakingly beautiful girl next door who seems to glide through life effortlessly. That is, until the indiscretions of her wealthy father Jimmy, threaten to break her world apart. The O.C. is a story of fathers and sons, husbands and wives, and the coming of age of three young people. Ryan's arrival is the catalyst for new alliances forged, old flames rekindled, and unlikely friendships born. [www.-.the-oc.org]

So, it's basically a rehash of Beverly Hills,90210.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Downloadable

[slapout]

Can't they make these things downloadable? Not all of us have high speed connections.

Remembering

[DesertBlade]

Watching Star Wars as a child brings back fond memories for many slashdotters. People watching the new episodes want to 'go back' and remember what it was like imagining and believing in a galaxy far, far away. The past is over and we can never go back to the way it was.

I realized this watching the first two movies (Phantom and Clones) with my son. I see how I was through him.

ending pic

[Anonymous Coward]

http://jangofett01.free.fr/Num%e9riser0007.jpg

_What_?

[jcuervo]

Ep. 1) Mostly shit. Pod race was neat.

Are you serious? To each his own, I guess, but the pod race felt like watching someone else play a video game. As a matter of fact, that's exactly what I was thinking watching that scene -- "I bet they make a video game out of this part".

So what?

[gandell]

Since when does a color palette have to be that lousy dumbed down pastel crud that most studios keep turning out? This is why I love Chinese and Japanese films so much...they're not afraid to experiment with color, especially vibrant color.

Mr Voice!?!

[ShagratTheTitleless]

The voiceover sounds like it belongs to Rob Schneiders latest wacky comedy. I am dismayed that the most promising trailer for this movie I have seen so far was not from Lucasfilm.

MOD PARENT UP!

[Anonymous Coward]

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Best. Star Wars. Trailer. Ever.

First trailer WAAAAAYYYYY better!

[Anonymous Coward]

The first trailer makes me want to see the movie. The other three make me want to watch an episode of "Hi-Hi Puffy Ami Yumi".

The marketing department may want to destroy all traces of the last three trailers!

Re:you insensiTiveH clod!

[Anonymous Coward]

Man, the Slashdot trolls just aren't putting the same effort into it these days...

Megasoft eyed in theft of Death Star plans

[Anonymous Coward]

Coruscant News Network

The galaxy is in turmoil today amid allegations that flaws in the popular Viewscreen operating system, produced by software giant Megasoft, may have enabled Bothan spies to gain access to classified Imperial data.

While the Imperial Security Bureau has yet to conclude their official investigation, sources within the Imperial government have hinted that the stolen data may have contributed to the destruction of the Death Star, an armored battlestation designed to take the fight to the rebel insurgents. Over a million sentient beings, including contracted civilian workers, lost their lives when rebel saboteurs treacherously destroyed the station by unknown means.

Speaking from his palace in the Redmond district of Coruscant, Megasoft CEO Bail Gates was quick to deny the allegations. "It's a detestable lie," Gates answered. "Megasoft has always made security our top priority, and Viewscreen XP is our most secure operating system ever. These rumors are nothing but a pathetic attempt by cowards and traitors to undermine public confidence in our software."

Others however, are unconvinced. Linuus Fjordwalker, head developer of the competing Mynox operating system, insists that Megasoft is being less than forthcoming. "They claim the last service pack was to add Huttese language support," said Fjordwalker, "but that should hardly add up to a four exobyte download. They just don't want to admit that their blasted security holes are the reason we have all these Holonet viruses."

Holonet viruses have been a serious concern since the outbreak of the "Meesa Love Yousa" virus several standard months ago. The virus author, a native of Naboo who went by the slicer alias of "B1nx0r," was inadvertantly beaten to death by a stormtrooper squad during his apprehension. The incident has caused many to question Megasoft's security claims. "If that laser-brain could do it, it can't be that hard," said one programmer who asked not to be identified.

Megasoft's spokesdroid, L1-4R, denied such claims. "While it is true that there have been many viruses affecting Viewscreen XP, this is merely the result of XP's popularity. If a competing product such as OS/20,000 had similar marketshare, it too would be targeted." The statement led to a quick rebuttal from Interplanetary Business Machines, the makers of OS/20,000. "Of course we'd be targetted," said spokesdroid C-FUD, "just not successfully."

Holonet readers are reminded to report signs of suspicious behavior to the Imperial Security Bureau, especially if it's those bastards at Foxal News.

A 25 yr old who had never seen Star Wars?

[rynthetyn]

This 24 yr old was taken to see Return of the Jedi as a 3 yr old back when it first came out and have been hooked ever since. And, no, it wasn't the Ewoks that hooked me, despite being a 3 yr old girl and all, it was the fighting with light sabres that drew me in.

Re:A 25 yr old who had never seen Star Wars?

[pmancini]

My girlfriend LOVED Wicket(tm) and the Ewoks(TM)! She didn't have years of waiting for each movie to have built in expectations!

Its fun meeting people and finding out what hooked them to whatever interests them. For me, I agree with you, the battle scenes in the 3rd movie were fun. As in the 2nd movie too. Being a gamer and hooked on plastic crack (aka collectable star wars miniatures from WotC) I've been building terrain for the various locals in Star Wars and putting on fun games. Of the 180 models that have been put out I have about 170 or so with multiples of many of them.

My goal now is to get 60 or so of the Ewoks and redo "Roarke's Drift" with the Ewoks as the Zulu's and the Imperial forces as... well... the Imperial forces! I'll be using a game called "The Sword and the Flame" as the rules. Should be loads of laughs!

--Pete

These movies are about TAX dispute

[Anonymous Coward]

George Lucas main inspiration for this story is US senate. Maybe Trade federation is just OPEC.

Princess is heading a subcommittee to amend tax law, while various factions try to use their political contributions change law in their favor.

Various senators representing different branches of industry want to get nominated as supreme leader of senate to push for number of beneficial tax cuts.

No wonder that this story is not as inspiring as episodes 4,5,6.

with all the trailers out there...

[Starraisin1]

I havee seen at least 6 or 7 trailers each with different scenes in them. I feel like I have already seen 10% of the movie now but its not like I am FORCED to watch them but I do.