Slashdot Mirror
Using Your Laptop In Bed
ryanaip writes "The New York Times has an article looking at the social implications of technology in the home. Specifically, the problems a spouse can face when their loved one is working in bed." From the article: "As electronic devices get smaller, people tote their technology around the house more than ever. And as the number of home wireless networks also grows, laptops — along with Treos, BlackBerries and other messaging devices — are migrating into the bedroom and onto the bed. The marital bed has survived his-and-her book lights and the sushi-laden bed tray. Can it also survive computers that tether their owners to the office or make the bed the workplace itself?"
I can't come to the Slashdot right now, because I'm on the phone with my girlfriend. Please leave a comment after the beep, and I'll get back to you right away.
What's this about technology interfering in relationships? It's the only reason I have one right now cause she lives 3 hours away!
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
Step 1: Give partner a reason to put the laptop down and pay attention to you
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit
This is not rocket science, people.
Why the hell is this being posted on Slashdot? It's not like having spouses angry at us for using the PC in bed is ever gonna affect us. Either we won't get a spouse, or she'll be too busy surfing the 'net on her own laptop to care.
Laptop as marital aide.
That's all I ever use it for. Sleeping. Oh, and falling asleep. And I guess waking up. And, you know, with the wife. I use my bed for bed-type related activities. No TV, no computer, no phone. Those aren't bed related activities.
Specifically, the problems a spouse can face when their loved one is working in bed.
I don't know if you'd call looking at pr0n "working". Although it's certainly a good excuse if you've got one of those fancy laptop privacy screens with the limited viewing angle... (you know, for airplane travel and such).
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
It just sounds so dirty. Besides, I have to wonder, how could you....never mind.
I've always wanted to feel what it was like to be a prostitute!
My wife and I are both computer professionals. We have iPods, laptops, etc but we agreed that electronic gadgets (including TVs) would NOT be allowed in our bedroom. Our bedroom is for sleeping, sex, and private time together. Work stays at work; home is home. Don't let the gadgets run your life or ruin your relationship.
If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
Sleep Hygienests will argue that doing anything in the bed, outside of sexual activity or sleeping, is harmful to your sleep habits. It will "pollute" (for lack of a better word) your mind such that you are expecting to do something other than sleep in the bed, which will cause your mind to be stimulated each time you enter the bed in the same manner it was stimulated when you were doing whatever you were doing, be it reading, watching TV, or surfing the Internet.
Who reads slashdot AND has a girlfriend?
I have my main computer in the family room. My wife typically hits bed at 10-11pm, me, about 12-2am. I am using my computer until then. Since I am not in the bed, at least she can sleep and I will not be bothered to "put that computer away". ;) I try that about once a month and typically get told it is too late and to go back to my computer if I want to some tits and ass. We have modified our typical sex time to a few times a week between 7-8pm during the week (just after dinner but before we go our separate ways) or any convenient time during the weekend depending on where the kids are.
Okay, so our time is spent apart from 8pm on, is that a problem? She likes to watch TV and use her computer as well, I like to use mine. We happen to be in separate parts of the house. I can tell you that she does not like when i hit bed much later then her and try to wake her up so we can spend a few really close minutes together
For reference, our 17th anniversary was last week, we got married just after high school.
Pretty neat, eh? Just imagine projecting a keyboard and screen on your lover's[*] back. You could read Slashdot while drilling for oil! Just make sure you're not using a Sony battery.
[*] No, I didn't say girlfriend. After all, this is Slashdot.
Tubal-Cain smokes the white owl.
Laptops have been in the beds of households for over a decade now.
This is a little late being asked.
I've got my wireless AP in the basement and I get Excellent coverage all over the house, but the second i move it over the bed the water blocks the signal completely.
It's probably better that way, but i'm just amazed how a relatively small amount of water can completely destroy the signal. I haven't tested it in the bath yet - how good is Dell Completecare?
Sadly, something many of us here have a hard time comprehending. Something like NP-complete. I dunno.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
Where was I when people were serving cold rice dressed with vinegar and garnished with raw seafood on a bedside tray?
If you can read this sig, you're too close.
This is just stupid. Really.
Yes, of course it can survive. Most reasonable people in relationships realize that there is a need to separate work from personal.
Therefore, they'll most likely have a separate work area, which could even be part of the living room. Hell, if you've got kids, you probably already have an area of the family room/den set aside for the family computer.
Add a little Bliss (http://www.gamesforloving.com/), and the laptop becomes a welcome guest in the bed.
If you love {your computer | the internet | insert favorite toy/hobby here} more than your spouse, you have a problem.
Solving that problem is left as an exercise for the reader. Answers may vary.
Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
Is that people are so busy anymore as to need to take a laptop to bed, to vacation, or such. Not to sound like a luddite, but really. Why do people not take a good book to bed, or pay attention to their partner? It's not like one is getting paid to work through bedtime or vacation.
Windows has detected an undetectable error.
Selfishness has become par for the course in American culture. You can have it all! It's all about YOU!!!
American culture has become a cesspool of me, me, me attitudes. And you know what I see, working in Northern Virginia around a lot of very wealth middle age people who are like this? Nothing but unhappiness! The happiest people I know are the ones who aren't that well off, but have rejected modern values for sacrifice and committment in their families and marriages.
We will all die someday. When you are on your deathbed, are you going to be happy that you had a great career that forced you to stay away from your wife and kids? How about you, ladies. Are y'all going to look back fondly on the years you had kids, but even though your husbands could support your family, you worked anyway because "feelin fullfilled" meant more to you than being close to your kids as you rasied them? Then you wonder why they don't know their parents and act lost or are embittered to parents whose priorities were all fucked up.
I have news for you, modern America. The reason you are fucked up and rotting from the inside out is that you have no soul. It is not all about you in the here and now. When you get married, you are responsible to uplift your spouse and take care of them, even if you don't "feel love" toward them right now. When you have kids, they are your priority, not your job and "need to feel fullfilled." That means that you don't work more than you need to to provide and be secure in the future. Drive the damn Scion tC instead of the Lexus if you have to.
I just opened my laptop to check my email and do wor...err surf the usual websites before bed and this story is the topmost on /.
Stay out of my head...err bed...yeah, the idea of being in bed with Cowboy Neal really isn't doing all that much for me. Well, a least nothing good.
Let's see...to warm up the bed?? Duhhh...
(My Blackberry.)
I have found the easiest way to appease a spouse accusing you of paying more attention to the mistress than them is to buy them a mistress as well. They get hooked, no more complaints from them. Well, almost.
She's called sxcgrrl182, I just paid off her car loan a month ago and she's been too busy driving it she isnt on IRC anymore, I hope she comes online again soon
Slashdot decides to make fun of slashdotters...
A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.
That's why I work and sleep on the couch in the living room.
All that heat on your crotch CAN'T be good for the swimmers.
Saving the World: One Drink at a Time
When putting my 18 month old daughter to bed she likes me to stay in the room until she falls asleep, after reading her a story I'll put her in her crib and pass the time playing with my PSP, either surfing the web, playing retro classics or even the occasional PSP game. This represents all the gaming i get to do these days.
My laptop is my girlfriend
The way batteries can explode these days, I say don't do it!
I don't know the meaning of the word 'don't' - J
The bed seems an ideal place for massaging devices.
...what? Ooooooh. Nevermind.
My Girlfriend just doesn't understand. I HAVE to check /. every 30 seconds, its just impulsive.
As devices get smaller and wirefree, it's an inevitability. Today it's acceptable to get magazines and books to bed, tomorrow it will be electronic devices.
Giggidy
Error 2101: all your sig are belong to us
2 Laptops, cross-over cable, NIC's and a game of network PornoDoom. There's a night in.
Then sex.
Task Mangler
When books starting coming out in paperbacks instead of hardbound, I'm sure the exact same question was asked: will reading books - horror! - ruin marriages. Frankly, I think NYtimes is running out of stories...
I read some good advice on a sign at a hotel once - the bed is for sleeping. If you do something else in it, like read or watch TV, you condition yourself not to sleep there. You will sleep better if that's the only thing you do in bed.
The entire bedroom should be only used for two purposes...sleeping, and having sex.
You bring it other things, stresses etc and you will cause problems in those two areas. Bad sleep or bad sex will cause some serious ripples through your life.
So leave the laptop in the other room and just disconnect fror a while.
The phrase "more better" is acceptable English. suck it grammar Nazis
Using this MacBookPro in bed is the only way I can warm up that cold hearted bitch!
I can just picture it next. The GreenHaven WIFI Equipped Cemetery and Mausoleum will be equipped with WIFE and will offer laptop equipped coffins and urns for that busy executive or hacker! You won't miss the net just because you passed away.
Cleara
No gadgets in the bed room? BORING! We have pleanty of battery operated "gadgets" in our bed room. And we both enjoy them quite a bit. >:)
Modded informative? Wow, more like too-much-informative.
"Can it also survive computers that tether their owners to the office or make the bed the workplace itself?" It depends on what she looks like...
Why doesn't anything interesting happen when I have mod points?
Both, me and my wife are using our laptops in bed for work and browsing the web as well as watching movies(of all sorts...) and playing games together all the time. We simply don't understand the people who have a problem with that. We feel it is one of the best ways of spending time together and having fun while getting stuff done.
I bring a laptop to bed because the iBrator I bought for my girlfriend only has a 3 foot USB cord.
She dropped and gave me twenty when I told her I ordered the new 2.4 GHz wireless model...WiFi hotspot has a whole new meaning.
"Specifically, the problems a spouse can face when their loved one is working in bed" If your spouse has a problem when you are "working in bed" you are seriously doing something incorrect!
So long as you're not using an Apple laptop then I don't see anything wrong using it in bed. We wouldnt want any explosions happening do we? :)
Gago ang Apple kasi pinapahirapan ang Pinoy.
Anyone who lives their life defined by what technology can do, rather than who they are and how they treat other people, is really just a machine.
--
make install -not war
Electric Blanket + Laptop = Lump of smoldering plastic... I remember a few years back I was using my dad's Thinkpad in bed (I was doing an assignment). Anyway the electric blanket was turned on...I left the laptop on the bed and I walked away. The heat of the blanket caused the laptop to overheat and the laptop was permanently fried...never worked again. Needless to say I didn't hand my assignment in on time.
As electronic devices get smaller...
Hmm what are you suggesting? Im listeting...
TODO: Slashdot sidebar for retired bits.... It will prevent you from having to read every post to know what punchlines have already been done and done. The sidebar for this story might read.... 1. Slashdotters don't actually have girlfriends..7 posts...RETIRED 2. Exploding Sony batteries...10 posts...RETIRED 3. Laptop in bed == pr0n 6 posts...RETIRED I know the moderation system should fix this problem, but I never seem to have mod points when I really need them.
I can think of a much better way to warm up the bed, that is unless the bed being cold is stopping your partner actually getting in.
If you like computers like tripod do, for your personal safety I advise you not to use a laptop in the bedroom.
Open Source Alternatives
Like how you stop the duvet blocking the ventilation holes. This is slashdot right?
ccalam - acoustic versions of new songs.
Having a laptop in bed w/ your wife might not be a bad thing. What else are you going to use to power that latest USB "accessory"
The Romans (at least the wealthy ones) had a nice solution to this problem: they had multiple beds, each dedicated to some activity. They had beds for sleeping, sex, eating, work, and partying. If they had had TVs and laptops, they'd probably have had separate beds for those, too.
Blankets absorb heat very well and retain that heat. Put a laptop on it and guess what happens. I used to treat my bed as a substitute for a table and put my laptop on it. At times, my laptop would spontaneously restart. At first, I didn't realize what was wrong. I used my laptop as a gaming machine (it's more powerful than my desktop), so I thought it was just the heat of the moment. Then I touched the grille that the internal fan blows air out of. Ouch.
Electric blanket?
Warhammer forums
My physician told me that doing work in bed, eating in bed, watching TV in bed, etc is very bad for sleep patterns. Not only does it start to "teach" your body that the bed is not always used for sleeping, but it would eventually start to convince your spouse/significant other of that same thing. Just my experience with what not to do in bed.
that I am reading this article on my laptop... in my bed.... while working. Well, no girlfriend here to piss off, but this is slashdot, after all ;)
to blur the lines even more http://www.we-make-money-not-art.com/archives/0088 85.php this really ends where is hte personal space and where is work
An armed society is a polite Society
the new spontaneously combustable line of laptops from dell give a whole new meaning to 'smoking in bed'.
Marital Advanced Intrusion Detection Environment? Yeah, technology has gone too far.
I use the laptop a lot in bed, and I consider (for myself at least), problems with the neck/back/posture to be a bigger problem. (Of course, I am divorced, too; d'oh!)
Anyone have tips or recommendations for helping one's back/neck? Do those bed-chair thingies work (the cheap ones, or only the really expensive ones?) I saw one contraption that puts the laptop quite a bit above you angled down; it looked rather awkward.
Love many, trust a few, do harm to none.
Ahhh. Now I know what those job ads mean when they ask for embedded programmers.
We'll bring the laptop to bed to watch movies, play sudoku together, and run around for a bit in Guild Wars with each other's characters. But it's always us time.
I'm an unusual Slashdot reader in that I had a girlfirend and I am now married to her. The Laptop is banned from the bedroom (I only used it once, please note, and that was without my wife there). And for very good reasons too. I intend my relationships to outlast my PC's and not the other way around!!!! (On an afternote how is laptop usage more anti-socail than book-reading or playing with jigsaw's????? This is an argument I havn't won yet!)
If you're working in bed remember not to place the laptop on your family jewels - it's bad for your sperm count!
Bumper sticker:
...I'm sure going to miss her.
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you"
Back when the market was down and I had to succumb to a techie job a guy brought in a laptop he had fallen asleep with while watching a movie in bed. THe comforter fell over it and it overheated, to say the least It was completely warped, the keyboard was curled up out of the base, and everything had that runny, smelly plastic sense to it. Odd thing was, only a few components went bad. He didn't want it thought because of it's appearance and he's rich.
Who is that masked man?
I save my laptop for use in the tubby.
One of these days I'm going to hurt myself though...
...do you also have to keep a fire extinguisher by the bed? Or do you prefer it hot in bed?
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
Above advice is one of the most suggested (everything I've read) remedies to insomnia.
If you have to work, sit in a chair by the bed. (WHY are you working at home?!)
As for working moms, its an almost universally good thing. Staying at home results in psychological pathologies, especially in our modern social structure where women don't congregate in the large social groups they do in more traditional societies. It's a loney, stressful, and largely unrewarding experience for many people, and results in an often contorted relationship between husband and wife.
Any research that suggests that these "pathologies" actually exist?
My wife gets more than enough social opportunities - really - I just asked for a comment on your idea from her, and that's what she said, not what I said. She's got a master's degree in her chosen field and had a season of excellence in that area before she became a stay-at-home mom for our five kids.
I'll grant you that raising children is hard work, and underappreciated. The "lonely" part has to do with the support structure in place - and that's directly related to the strength of the marriage, and how much emotional support and child care responsibilities is provided by the husband. My wife has the freedom to schedule time with her friends and I'll make the time to be with my kids exclusively so that she can have some fun time.
As far as rewarding is concerned, it's a matter of defining your success criteria. There's little in life more rewarding than making a baby laugh, or that life-altering moment when your child develops the ability to read. Once a child becomes a reader, he or she has the ability to self-educate. It's empowering in a phenomenal way. Having a child spontaneously choose to hug you and say "I love you daddy" is rich, too. The examples are endless, but seeing the investments in character development revealed when a child demonstrates compassion, selflessness, or deferred gratification is tremendously enriching.
Contorted relationship between husbands and wives? That's unrelated to work-outside-the-home status. The vast majority of marriages are pretty contorted regardless of how many breadwinners there are in the home.
But Herr Heisenberg, how does the electron know when I'm looking?
I'm reading this article in bed next to a loved one, right now!
The other couples I know all have the same idea, either coming to it over time or just knowing it.
Anything in the bedroom other than furniture and your spouse is a distraction.
Keep the TV out, keep the computer out as well. (hell in some cases you may need to evict pets too!)
People always try to find reasons for why relationships fail, well failure to dedicate time and space to it sure will help it fail
* Winners compare their achievements to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.
I've spent years in and out of hospitals and even more years ill in bed. A laptop or desktop monitor/keyboard/mouse on an overbed table keep me sane.
Being able to interact with the world, do some work, watch shows, and play games make life bearable. Chat and IM releive the loneliness bigtime.
So if you have a friend bedridden or in the hospital, instead of renting a tv for them, loan them you laptop. They'll thank you for it.
This reminds me of something that happened a few years ago...
Gentoo had just come out and I was installing it on a spare desktop. One night after a string of days where work, school and parental units had kept us from any meaningful 'together time' (this was high school) she called me talking very suggestively. Being 18 years old this was perhaps the sweetest thing ever- but I wanted to begin emerging KDE so it would be ready in the morning.
As she tried to seduce me over the phone and I tried to stall her she said, "Wait a minute are you fucking around with that that Gentoo thing?"
Reluctantly I admitted, "Well yeah... I wanna emerge KDE tonight...."
She responded, "Godamnit can't you leave those stupid things alone for just 30 minutes!" This coming from a girl who was usually amazed by geek powers and enjoyed watching me monkey around on the command line.
At that very moment I finished and shared a.... 'hot and steamy and sticky phone call with her.
This is an interesting argument on the subject of computer culture, and a difficult one to address to the fullest.
My personal opinion has always been one that they are no longer LAPTOP computers, they're more NOTEBOOK computers. The ventilation systems on many laptops are situated on the underside of the laptop, and heat transfers downward then out to the sides. As a computer tech, too many times have I seen a customer complain that their computer overheats or has gotten fried because they keep it on a bed surface or their lap, and the heat transfers into fabric or skin that only gets hot itself and transfers the heat right back. I suppose the only way to have a laptop in bed is to have a flat surface to place it on, but I wouldn't even do that. It's important for me to establish an office space for myself, and to keep my bed area as only a sleeping space.
I suspect that with this new advent of telecommuting in bed there will be a rise in insomnia, due to the psychological reaction to using your sleeping space for work. In fact, what they tell a lot of insomniacs in order to ease insomnia is only to use your bed for sleeping, to help the subconscious mind identify bed with sleep.
As far as the difficulties this causes to relationships...well, it's really going to be on a couple by couple basis. If both members of the couple are business sharks, they'd both be sitting up in bed working...that would almost be a sort of "quality time". But if one is up typing and the other is sleeping that could get pretty rough. Here's hoping the modern American family adapts comfortably to this new development.
whether or not the accompanying sex life survives is something else again.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
if she is not using an patched Verion of licq, where instead of "free for chat" there is just a "free for sex" status. Both set the status, their GPS devices transmit the positions to a small server which checks if they are close enough and then two red arrows appear on the screen pointing in the right direction....
What's with the idea that you should associate your bed with only sex and sleep?
You people have no imagination or creativity. Both can be done just about anywhere.
As can using your laptop, though that would help if wifi were more ubiquitous.
Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
I am really fond of bringing the laptop to the loo. I can really enjoy reading the most terse papers while pushing the bronze. Helps me focus somehow. With a dark ale on the side, I can spend 40' there. (Hint to preparation H: you should sponsor ArXiv.org)
and we, especially Americans, are programmed to associate worth with salary.
Clearly I'm not included in that "we."
marital tensions arise from ambiguity about the contribution of each person in the couple to the family unit
When my wife worked outside the home we had conflicts about who should take care of chores. By having her in the home, we erased MANY of those conflicts.
most men do not really understand what's involved in keeping a home
Here we agree completely. This is a solvable problem, however.
How many times have you heard a man complain that his wife is wasting "his" money
Only on so-called sitcoms. I have never had a man say that to me. (And I have a great deal of experience with conversations about areas of marital stress - I do marriage counseling for couples, so I know the kinds of things couples fight about)
When the women works, the value of her contribution is made explicit
I disagree. The gender pay gap demonstrates that in general women doing the same job as men tend to be paid less. Does that mean that her contribution is worth less to the company (or the family?)
Housewives often have a distorted view of what men consider "the real world" --- ie: the workplace in which the man spends most of his day
I agree that there's a misunderstanding of what a workday is like, but frankly that's unrelated to time in the workplace. My wife's comment to this idea of yours was "and women and men experience the workplace in the same way?" To her, that seems laughable.
Let me ask you two other questions:
1. What about the additional stress in the relationship caused by having less time to allocate to chores and relating to your spouse?
2. What about PARENTING? When the wife is in the workplace, who is raising the children? Certainly not the people who are busy at the office!
I'm a father of five, and I can tell you that there's no amount of money you could PAY me to do what I need to do as a dad!
Culturally I hear discussions referring to "high-quality day care." Frankly, this idea is silly. First, the amount paid for the day care needs to be less than the woman in the "workplace" earns. So, they are saying that the value of the time that a mom spends with her kids is less valuable than the amount of money she can earn in the marketplace.
Secondly, who provides that care? How many men do you know of who do day care?
Finally, since I can't pay anyone to love my kids as much as I do, and it's not possible for anyone to want them to succeed more than I do, why would I want a low-paid woman, who cares less than I do to provide ongoing care and instruction to my kids?
It's better for marriage and better for the kids to have mom home rather than trying to "have it all" by being an excellent worker, caring for the home AND investing in raising the children!
Since there's no place in our culture to learn about roles and responsibilities in marriage, I think that it's reasonable to suggest that most people are clueless about what makes a great marriage.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation Thoreau
This is true, and based on my experience with couples (in crisis and not in crisis) is extensible to reflect marriages as well.
Respectfully,
Anomaly
But Herr Heisenberg, how does the electron know when I'm looking?
Come on, I mean shit, -what- is so goddamned important that you have to work in your bed (or laying down, for that matter). Take a break, go out on the town, travel, do some exercise or whatever. Put down the remote, stop surfing porn and experience this wonderful (and awful) thing called -life-. Exercise your mind.
Apathy doesn't have define you.
I've got a fixed wireless internet connection and it gets very slightly slower when it's snowing heavily.