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Nuclear Subs 'Collide In Ocean'

Jantastic noted a BBC report saying "A Royal Navy nuclear submarine was involved in a collision with a French nuclear sub in the middle of the Atlantic. It is understood HMS Vanguard and Le Triomphant were badly damaged in the crash earlier this month. Despite being equipped with sonar, it seems neither vessel spotted the other, the BBC's Caroline Wyatt said."

622 comments

  1. Whoops by Spazztastic · · Score: 5, Funny

    You'd think we would... you know... communicate with our allies? Maybe? At least they didn't almost collide with a lighthouse, though.

    --
    Posts not to be taken literally. Almost everything is sarcasm.
    1. Re:Whoops by wisty · · Score: 5, Funny

      They drive on the opposite sides of the street. Maybe they give way differently was well?

      Or maybe they were both in stealth mode.

    2. Re:Whoops by homey+of+my+owney · · Score: 5, Informative

      The reality is that they now travel very quiet. The collision is just an illustration of that.

    3. Re:Whoops by Sierran · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Nuclear submarines, and especially ballistic missile submarines, don't communicate with anyone at sea unless it's absolutely critical. Communicating gives away your position, and for such submarines, the fact that nobody outside the hull knows exactly where it is is their number one means of survivability. In addition, ballistic missile subs don't have 'allies' - they treat even the surface and submarine forces of their own navy as 'potential hostiles' when at sea in order to maximize their survivability and to continually train to avoid such threats.

      Collisions between submarines were fairly common during the Cold War, and were indicative of the amount of time subs spent playing 'hide and seek' with their opponents - because in order to gain intelligence on other submarines, or even to follow them reliably, subs have to be quite close relative to how long it takes them to stop or turn. As a result, however, most collisions were between or involved attack submarines. For two SSBNs to involved in such a bump, either one or the other had to be involved in SSN-like games, or pretty astronomical odds were just surmounted in a random collision. It's a big ocean. It'll be interesting to see precisely where the damage to the two boats is, as it might tell us what aspect they collided at - I have heard it was a slight angle from head-on. Even that doesn't meant they weren't playing silly buggers - if one submarine turned to check its baffles and the other didn't maneuver out of the way, that could result in an angled head-on.

      --
      A hero is someone who knows when to run away. I am a hero. -Trent the Uncatchable
    4. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I would think that they were conducting a joint exercise, and both submarines were aware that the other was in the vicinity. The chance of a random low speed collision in the middle of the ocean is tiny.

      There are inconsistencies in the story too. The British say the collision was at "very low" speed. The French say it occurred while coming back from a patrol, which would imply a reasonably fast cruising speed.

    5. Re:Whoops by ryanvm · · Score: 5, Funny

      Do you know what you're talking about or did you just watch The Hunt for Red October?

    6. Re:Whoops by wisty · · Score: 1

      I also like the way that neither claims to have seen the other. I guess it would be a bit on an "incident" if someone piped up how they were really playing chicken.

    7. Re:Whoops by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...or did you just watch The Hunt for Red October?

      Actually it was Crimson Tide.

    8. Re:Whoops by drinkypoo · · Score: 5, Funny

      They drive on the opposite sides of the street. Maybe they give way differently was well?

      Actually, they were taking a page from NASA's book. Someone accidentally gave a measurement in SAE units, which didn't go over well on a metric boat. I told you using furlongs per fortnight was a bad idea...

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    9. Re:Whoops by Barsteward · · Score: 1

      They drive on the opposite sides of the street.

      But they are then going in the same direction if on opposite sides of the street whereas if they are on the same side they get to rub noses........

      --
      "The hands that help are better far than lips that pray." - Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)
    10. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No ... but he did sleep in a Holiday Inn Express last night

    11. Re:Whoops by Hatta · · Score: 5, Funny

      the fact that nobody outside the hull knows exactly where it is is their number one means of survivability.

      Does the fact that nobody inside the hull knows exactly where it is help too?

      For two SSBNs to involved in such a bump, either one or the other had to be involved in SSN-like games, or pretty astronomical odds were just surmounted in a random collision

      Considering that 2 satellites just collided, astronomical odds don't seem that great.

      --
      Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
    12. Re:Whoops by ByOhTek · · Score: 1

      I thought only North American countries had people driving on the "wrong" side of the street.

      --
      Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
    13. Re:Whoops by meringuoid · · Score: 5, Interesting
      This is correct - a nuclear missile submarine's whole purpose is to hide. According to this writeup, the Admiralty and the US Navy compare notes on the subs' planned courses to avoid such incidents; we can only assume that the French are not privy to these planning sessions.

      Perhaps Sir Humphrey Appleby spoke the truth about the true purpose behind Britain's independent deterrent?...

      --
      Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
    14. Re:Whoops by k_187 · · Score: 3, Funny

      MY subs get 40 rods to the hogshead and that's how I likes it.

      --
      11 was a racehorse
      12 was 12
      1111 Race
      12112
    15. Re:Whoops by fooslacker · · Score: 1

      Now that's not nice, the French are ALL cowards....granted apparently they aren't ALL sonar engineers either.

    16. Re:Whoops by Looke · · Score: 1

      They've been sailing the same oceans for far longer than they've been driving.

    17. Re:Whoops by Bearhouse · · Score: 1

      Considering that 2 satellites just collided, astronomical odds don't seem that great.

      You beat me to it :)

    18. Re:Whoops by Dishevel · · Score: 3, Funny

      Wait, didn't it read that one was French? I didn't know that anyone there could do more than cower under a table?

      Its the french. Of course they have small boats that can stay hidden under the water, undetectable during times of war.

      --
      Why is it so hard to only have politicians for a few years, then have them go away?
    19. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Ha ha ha ha ha ho he he ha ho, and I thought my country's navy was bad.

      Guess ol' Britannia and the Frogs just don't operate on the same intelligence level as us Americans.

    20. Re:Whoops by Big+Hairy+Ian · · Score: 0

      Actually I think you will find that most military/Navies use Kilometers on Land and Nautical Miles at see as one is easier for calculating range/trajectories and the other is derived from the global coordinates system to start off with.

      --

      Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.

    21. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You need to be able to see what's coming. This is why I've advocated screen doors on submarines for years! Morons...

    22. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      reminds me more of that family guy episode (I think) where a road accident caused every tv chopper to converge on the position, colliding one on another. I imagine that given a standard missile effective range, even if it's a big ocean out there, the hot spot for best coverage are few and narrow.

    23. Re:Whoops by Chabil+Ha' · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Sorry, we Americas drive on the right side of the road. There is no driving on the left side, only the WRONG side.

      --
      We're all hypocrites. We all have hidden parts, it's the contrast between them that make us more a hypocrite than others
    24. Re:Whoops by FatdogHaiku · · Score: 1

      I would love to read a story about a submarine hitting a lighthouse! Kind of like those killer whales that beach themselves catching seals... of course getting the sub to thrash around and wiggle it's way back into the sea may need a bit of work...

      --
      You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
    25. Re:Whoops by Gonoff · · Score: 1

      I think that it is very unlikely that many navies anywhere use nautical miles in any circumstances.
      Exceptions to that statement will naturally include the USA and may include the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

      I cannot imagine France ever using nautical miles...

      --
      I'll see your Constitution and raise you a Queen.
    26. Re:Whoops by fooslacker · · Score: 1

      wow I can't write....that should read the French aren't ALL cowards...I think.

    27. Re:Whoops by RulerOf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sorry, we Americas drive on the right side of the road. There is no driving on the left side, only the WRONG side.

      The ambiguity is killing me.

      Americans drive on the correct side of the road... Along with everyone Napoleon had the opportunity to walk on.

      --
      Boot Windows, Linux, and ESX over the network for free.
    28. Re:Whoops by Windows_NT · · Score: 1

      Kinda funny since i watched "Down Periscope" this weekend.
      It is kind of odd they didn't see each other. Good thing they were in combat conditions. they'd been screwed... No pun intended.

      --
      Go go Gadget Nailgun!
    29. Re:Whoops by Windows_NT · · Score: 1

      I pay taxes on both sides of the road!

      --
      Go go Gadget Nailgun!
    30. Re:Whoops by QuantumRiff · · Score: 3, Funny

      Would you trust the French sub? I know I wouldn't? One of two things would happen.

      -The french sub realizes its being followed, at which point is surfaces, and raises a white flag of surrender, causing some embarrassment for capturing an ally. The French just used their natural instinct.

      -Somebody mentions they are thinking of invading France, at which point the nation surrenders, and turns over all their information about where their forces and their allies forces are.

      Neither is going to do England well. Might as well just stay in the shadows.

      --

      What are we going to do tonight Brain?
    31. Re:Whoops by Chabil+Ha' · · Score: 1

      It's a play on words. 'Right' in this context doesn't just mean 'correct', but also the 'right' as opposed to 'left' (which also has a totally different contextual meaning). Chalk up another point for words that are spelled the same but have very different contextual meaning, as well as words that sound the same (to, two, too) but are very different contextually as well. You don't learn to appreciate this until you converse with people in another language asking you how you tell them apart.

      --
      We're all hypocrites. We all have hidden parts, it's the contrast between them that make us more a hypocrite than others
    32. Re:Whoops by Xeth · · Score: 4, Funny

      Is it a nuclear sub? Because (based on a linear extrapolation from Ivy Mike; sorry, not a Nuclear Engineer) a hogshead of plutonium would generate around 40 gigatons of explosive force if detonated.

      Perhaps your sub works by moving the Earth around it?

      --
      If your theory is different from practice, then your theory is wrong.
    33. Re:Whoops by stranger_to_himself · · Score: 4, Funny

      Considering that 2 satellites just collided, astronomical odds don't seem that great.

      What's more, a million to one chance is pretty certain to happen at least nine times out of ten.

    34. Re:Whoops by jcwayne · · Score: 0, Redundant

      This is correct - a nuclear missile submarine's whole purpose is to hide. According to this writeup, the Admiralty and the US Navy compare notes on the subs' planned courses to avoid such incidents; we can only assume that the French are not privy to these planning sessions.

      We keep the French out of the loop to prevent a breach of operational security next time they surrender.

      --
      Failure to follow this advice may result in non-deterministic behavior.
    35. Re:Whoops by Spatial · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ah. So it works the same way as an American car does.

    36. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The brits are allied with France? Read your history book.

    37. Re:Whoops by Enleth · · Score: 4, Funny

      OK, now, tell me, which one of you was such a wag to steal all the entropy and think it's funny, eh? Put it back at once, before it turns out that we all have "1234" for a root password just by coincidence!

      --
      This is Slashdot. Common sense is futile. You will be modded down.
    38. Re:Whoops by morcego · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Even Brazil uses nautical miles. And we are a country were a good part of the population wouldn't tell the different between a mile and a file.

      --
      morcego
    39. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Give me one ping and one ping only...

    40. Re:Whoops by starfishsystems · · Score: 1

      At least they didn't order the lighthouse to give way.

      --
      Parity: What to do when the weekend comes.
    41. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      Conversely, only the British and their more recent ex-colonies drive on the left.

    42. Re:Whoops by Captain+Spam · · Score: 5, Funny

      *** CaptainSpam quietly logs into his server and adds a 5

      --
      Demanding constant attention will only lead to attention.
    43. Re:Whoops by RulerOf · · Score: 1

      I know. Due to the obvious nature of the word play, it's more of a counter-play to make a statement that's less ambiguous but just as arrogant by invoking the same connotation without the uncertainty.

      It's along the same lines as how there's no "Right or Wrong" when discussing directions in a vehicle, there's simply "correct," and "incorrect" or "wrong." Otherwise you may never know whether or not it's right to make that left. ;)

      --
      Boot Windows, Linux, and ESX over the network for free.
    44. Re:Whoops by Big+Hairy+Ian · · Score: 2, Informative

      Actually every maritime organisation in the world civilian and military uses nautical miles if they didn't it would be chaos on the high sees.

      --

      Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.

    45. Re:Whoops by Tiger4 · · Score: 1

      Oh shit, how'd you know??

      sudo passwd 9876

      --
      Behold, this dreamer cometh. Come now, and let us slay him... and we shall see what will become of his dreams.
    46. Re:Whoops by rilister · · Score: 2, Informative

      The Register has a decent analysis of this making similar points:
      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/02/16/subs_crash/
      Lewis Page consistently seems to write insightfully about nuclear submarines - I look forward to seeing how well he can rant about Wikipedia.

      --
      'This writing business. Pencils and what-not. Over-rated if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it' - Eeyore
    47. Re:Whoops by Kagura · · Score: 2, Informative

      Yeah cause then we'd have to read that shitty story that somebody is bound to post.

      Here you go: http://www.snopes.com/military/lighthouse.asp

      And for completeness' sake, here's the (amusing) video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-dwDhvHE_I

    48. Re:Whoops by Spatial · · Score: 2, Insightful

      What faux pas! This is a thread calling for prejudicious jokes, not generic insults.

      I'm Irish, may I suggest something concerning Lucky Charms, or perhaps pots of gold? Alcoholism?

    49. Re:Whoops by molecular · · Score: 1

      You'd think we would... you know... communicate with our allies? Maybe?

      Yeah, but as other news say, communication between french and british military is down currently thanks to conficker. Apparently they can only use fax. Maybe they have no fax-machines on their subs.

      Another possible reason is that the british sub has been driving on the wrong side of the road, uhm, ocean?

    50. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      thanks there Captain Obvious!!

      gee, I wouldn't dare to think that anyone would be able to tell if it weren't for you.

      am I right? or left?

    51. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      apparently the chances for nuke subs and satellites to collide is higher than most here to bump into an available girl this past Feb 14..

    52. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's funny as hell. Don't let the pouty little mod get you down.

    53. Re:Whoops by WCguru42 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I hear that the ex-colonies just drive on the road, no side in particular, just whichever one isn't completely stopped due to congestion.

      --
      "Educate the mind but never at the expense of the soul."~Blessed Basil Moreau
    54. Re:Whoops by Calyth · · Score: 1

      Althought I agree with your assessment, the interesting part is that the HMS Vanguard was towed back to port, while the French counterpart suffered sonar dome damage. One plausible explanation is that the Vanguard has damaged props, while

      As quiet as these subs are, the sonar dome on Le Triomphant should pick up screws in the water, at close ranges.

      A more sinister explanation would be the Le Triomphant was tailing the Vanguard, and they ran into the Vanguard when the British sub slowed/stopped. They aren't going to explain to the public that a friendly nation's nuclear sub has been tailing our sub all along.

    55. Re:Whoops by Calyth · · Score: 1

      sigh. something got cropped. The Vanguard got damaged props, while the Le Triomphant had a damaged sonar dome (i.e. damaged front). This can mean the Le Triomphant was a the rear of the Vanguard while the collusion occurred...

    56. Re:Whoops by cornjones · · Score: 1

      awesome troll response, er... mick (i am topical now?)

    57. Re:Whoops by Watson+Ladd · · Score: 1

      No, it's because the force de frappe should be renamed the force de fuck this shit. It is designed to do one thing: Fuck everyone at once. The US and Britain don't want that. Hence the break between France and NATO over nuclear tactics. And France would not want us to take out their subs so they don't kill all of us.

      --
      Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development.-- Frontinus, 1st cent. AD
    58. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Even that doesn't meant they weren't playing silly buggers - if one submarine turned to check its baffles and the other didn't maneuver out of the way, that could result in an angled head-on.

      I'm not sure I would use "playing silly buggers" and "check its baffles" in the same sentence.

    59. Re:Whoops by havardi · · Score: 1

      Is that a Science Made Stupid reference? If so, what is that in ratsasses?

    60. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... or pretty astronomical odds were just surmounted in a random collision. It's a big ocean.

      Right! And if you think that the ocean is big, just think of how big the space in which satellites orbit the earth is. Yet no mention was made in the media of the astronomical odds against two satellites colliding.

    61. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Kermit: Bear Left.

      Fozzie: Right, Frog

    62. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wouldn't the odds be astro-nautical rather than astronomical?

      or aquanomical perhaps...

    63. Re:Whoops by k_187 · · Score: 1

      Simpsons reference actually.

      --
      11 was a racehorse
      12 was 12
      1111 Race
      12112
    64. Re:Whoops by KillerBob · · Score: 1

      I thought only North American countries had people driving on the "wrong" side of the street.

      You thought wrong. Most of the world drives on the right-hand side of the road. The UK and Ireland are the only European nations that drive on the left-hand side, and join Japan, India/Pakistan, Australia, and parts of southern Africa as the only regions where driving's done on the left. About 70% of the world's population drives on the right-hand side. :)

      --
      If you believe everything you read, you'd better not read. - Japanese proverb
    65. Re:Whoops by coopaq · · Score: 1

      I watched something that sounded like that once starring Ann Coulter.

      What was the porno version of "The Hunt for Red October" called?

    66. Re:Whoops by Walkingshark · · Score: 3, Funny

      If two submarines crash in the ocean, and neither is running sonar, does it make a sound?

      --
      The world you experience is only a close approximation of reality.
    67. Re:Whoops by KillerBob · · Score: 1

      Depends on where... I got back from Curacao last Monday, and right of way, there, is determined by who leans on the horn first. :)

      --
      If you believe everything you read, you'd better not read. - Japanese proverb
    68. Re:Whoops by Zerth · · Score: 5, Interesting

      1 hogshead=238.5 L

      238.5 L in 1 hogshead

      Plutonium 19.86 g per cm^3
      1 liter=1000 cm^3
      238500 grams/hoghshead

      238500/19.86=12009 grams of plutonium(call it 12 kilos)

      1 kilo plutonium, fissioned=20,000 tons tnt

      240,000 tons tnt

      1 ton tnt=4.184 Gj

      1004160 Gj of energy per hogshead of plutonium

      40 rods=201 meters

      1004160 Gj/201 meters

      or a hair under 5,000,000,000 kilonewtons

      1 newton being the energy to accelerate 1 kilo to 1 meter per second and the earth being a bit under 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilograms, I don't think we'd notice much.

      The british sub, weighing about 14,500,000 kilograms, would get something like 344 meters/second out of it. Or just about the speed of sound at sea level. I imagine that might be a first, for a sub, breaking the sound barrier and taking flight(plummeting glide, really) with those stubby dive planes.

      Some one will now rip my math into shreds of sobbing uselessness, probably around the newtons to meters/second part.

    69. Re:Whoops by nomorecwrd · · Score: 2, Informative

      We have something similar in spanish while driving... "Derecho" (straight) and "Derecha" (right).
      Comming to an intersection, it is difficult to tell if they are asking to turn right or just telling you to go ahead. (specially from "back seat drivers")

    70. Re:Whoops by Walkingshark · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm not a submarine warfare specialist, but I did burn down a Holiday Inn Express last night!

      Oops, did I say that out loud?

      --
      The world you experience is only a close approximation of reality.
    71. Re:Whoops by ByOhTek · · Score: 1

      You mean, my part of the world is not as unique as I thought.

      I'm going to go cry now.

      --
      Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
    72. Re:Whoops by mofag · · Score: 2, Informative

      Similar in French too - "droit" means right and "tout droit" (literally translated as all right) means straight on. However, it probably only appears strange to people like me who don't really speak the language.

    73. Re:Whoops by ConanG · · Score: 4, Informative

      It's obvious you know nothing about nautical subjects. The nautical mile was defined as 1,852 meters in 1929, and every navy in the world uses this definition. It is approximately one arc minute of length along any meridian. All international treaties dealing with distances on water use the same nautical mile definition.

    74. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      would get something like 344 meters/second out of it. Or just about the speed of sound at sea level.

      That's the speed of sound in air at sea level. If it were water, it'd be a little quicker ;)

    75. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I doubt he'd have said

      and taking flight(plummeting glide, really) with those stubby dive planes.

      .

      if he meant thespeed of sound in water.

    76. Re:Whoops by audunr · · Score: 1

      This is correct - a nuclear missile submarine's whole purpose is to hide.

      Then why do we build them? I bet it's a lot easier to hide a nonexistent submarine.

    77. Re:Whoops by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 1

      Satellites have an additional height dimension to explore while ships are mostly confined to the 2D surface of the ocean, but satellites move much faster than submarines and get more chances to hit each other.

    78. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      1 hogshead=238.5 L

      238.5 L in 1 hogshead

      Plutonium 19.86 g per cm^3
      1 liter=1000 cm^3
      238500 grams/hoghshead

      238500/19.86=12009 grams of plutonium(call it 12 kilos)

      Why are you dividing there? If you've got 238500 cm^3 (that is, ml - not grams) per hogshead, and plutonium has a density of 19.86 g/cm^3, you'd arrive at

      238500*19.86 = 4736610 grams of plutonium

      That's 4.7 metric tons, not 12 kilograms - in other words, you're off by a factor of 400.

    79. Re:Whoops by denttford · · Score: 1

      if one submarine turned to check its baffles and the other didn't maneuver out of the way, that could result in an angled head-on.

      And not using its towed array... ?

      --

      Leben Sie jetzt die Fragen.
    80. Re:Whoops by virtual_mps · · Score: 4, Funny

      If two submarines crash in the ocean, and neither is running sonar, does it make a sound?

      yes. it sounds like "crunch" followed by "oh, shit".

    81. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "we can only assume that the French are not privy to these planning sessions"

      If they were, we might as well post our plans on their white flag!
      I didn't even know the French had a Navy, do they use it for amusement rides?
      If war were ever declared, to which their subs might be called up for service, they'd have to drain all the pee off the floors.

      We ought to just rope off an area of ocean for them, tell them to stay in their play-pen.

    82. Re:Whoops by shiftless · · Score: 1

      Plus Japan

    83. Re:Whoops by Hordeking · · Score: 1

      Would you trust the French sub? I know I wouldn't?

      It should also be noted that the French pioneered submarines incorporating a screen-door design.

      --
      Disclaimer: The opinions and actions of the US Gov't are in no way representative of those held by this author or its ci
    84. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you have a lot of users ...
      and a weird sysadm

    85. Re:Whoops by Perf · · Score: 1

      That old story. I'm surprised people don't know it's fake when they hear it:

      1. Given the curvature of the earth, if the ship saw the light from the lighthouse, how close is he?

      2. If he is seeing the lighthouse on radar, why doesn't the radar show the coast?

      3. Carriers and battleships usually sail in the middle of a task force.

      4. Someone in charge of a multi-million dollar capital ship is too stupid to know where land is? Come on.

      You'd have to be stuck on stupid to believe it is true.

    86. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sorry to be the one doing the ripping. Using your figures (I haven't checked em):

      1 hogshead = 238.5 L
      Density of plutonium = 19.86
      => 1 hogshead of plutonium = 4737kg
      * 20 kT/kg
      = 95 MT
      = 3.8 * 10^17J
      which is going to accelerate a 14000 ton sub to 233 km/s, which is comfortably above solar system escape velocity. It's still not enough to do anything noticeable to the Earth, though...

    87. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When the odds go to very low amounts, they start to be extremely likely ie 1 to few billions starts to be quite likely. I assume someone will pull up the probability of life being born, and that happened too.. ;)
      -Deepone

    88. Re:Whoops by MSZ · · Score: 1

      You should factor water resistance into it...

      While I lack skills to do the calculations, I suppose it would tear the sail off. Still, t would be "a ride of lifetime" ;-)

      --
      The moon is not fully subjugated. I demand a second assault wave preceded by a massive nuclear bombardment.
    89. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      MY subs get 40 rods to the hogshead and that's how I likes it.

      I think the contents of the hogshead are being consumed by the crew, not the sub, therefore avoid being in the same ocean as this sub.

    90. Re:Whoops by Dahamma · · Score: 3, Funny

      That's 4.7 metric tons, not 12 kilograms - in other words, you're off by a factor of 400.

      Which means if the rest of his math is in fact correct, that's a sub traveling at 400 times the speed of sound, ie. over 10x escape velocity.

      The Air Force has monopolized space exploration long enough, now it's the Navy's turn to go to the moon!

    91. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Apparently NATO allies are supposed to coordinate submarine operating areas to avoid these mishaps. The French alas prefer not to participate.
      This incident is reminiscent of the tragic coordination problems in World War I between the French and British armies. In WWI the standard (and largely ineffective) tactic for advancing against entrenched German positions was to precede an infantry charge with a massive artillery barrage. The artillery would drive the defenders underground allowing the infantry to advance. Note this tactic required the infantry to advance immediately after the artillery barrage stopped before the Germana could return to their gun positions. Unfortunately the French at the time synchronized their watches to Paris while the British used London (Greenwich) of course. This time difference of about 15 minutes caused instances of allied infantry being charged into their own artillery. When will they ever learn?

    92. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Only INSIDE the submarines.

    93. Re:Whoops by Neanderthal+Ninny · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Extremely low sound. The ocean waves above them and other natural sounds would be louder than they were if they were running quiet.
      Like space, as vast as it is, collisions do still occur just like the two satellites last week.

    94. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I watched something that sounded like that once starring Ann Coulter.

      What was the porno version of "The Hunt for Red October" called?

      Fun with anagrams...

      Ann Coulter -> A Loner Cunt

      The Hunt for Red October -> There Be Cunt Froth Odor

      Sounds like neocon porn to me...

    95. Re:Whoops by Kagura · · Score: 1

      Every slashdot story involving almost anything seems to have one person propositioning it as the truth.

      At least for your first and second points, the radar is on top of a very tall ship, and the light house is also very tall. It's entirely possible to see the lighthouse or part of it without the ship's crew having the light visible, or any of the land behind it illuminated by radar.

      Although that says nothing at all about the general plausibility of the story. ;)

    96. Re:Whoops by rolandog · · Score: 2, Informative

      I bet you can't put it in teaspoons per lightyear.

    97. Re:Whoops by budgenator · · Score: 1

      "Damn, now I'm going to have to change mine!" qwerty@poiuyt.com

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    98. Re:Whoops by budgenator · · Score: 1

      Time zones change in increments of 1 hour, due to the railroads schedules.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    99. Re:Whoops by budgenator · · Score: 1

      A more sinister explanation would be the Le Triomphant was tailing the Vanguard, and they ran into the Vanguard when the British sub slowed/stopped. They aren't going to explain to the public that a friendly nation's nuclear sub has been tailing our sub all along.

      I thought it was a French and a British subs that collided.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    100. Re:Whoops by treeves · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Already been there. Many astronauts have been naval officers.

      --
      ...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
    101. Re:Whoops by Abreu · · Score: 1

      Which is why heroes sometimes close their eyes before they shoot, in an attempt to lower/increase their odds so that they become million-to-one, and thus invoke the Pratcherian Law of Narrative Causality

      --
      No sig for the moment.
    102. Re:Whoops by Perf · · Score: 1

      5. What is the turning radius of a large ship? What is the turning radius of a task force?

    103. Re:Whoops by laddiebuck · · Score: 3, Funny

      Perhaps Sir Humphrey Appleby spoke the truth about the true purpose behind Britain's independent deterrent?...

      Haha, excellent! One of the very few Yes, Minister references on Slashdot, and so fitting, too. For those who haven't watched the programme (it ran in the 80s), an inexperienced Cabinet minister (later prime minister) is being "educated" by his Department's top civil servant, Sir Humphrey. Sir Humphrey tells the astonished minister that Britain's nuclear deterrent isn't intended against the Russians, but the French.

    104. Re:Whoops by riperrin · · Score: 3, Funny

      If two submarines crash in the ocean, and neither is running sonar, does it make a sound?

      yes. it sounds like "crunch" followed by "oh, shit".

      and "Oh, Merde!".

    105. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'd just like to point out that you weren't supposed to divide the volume by the density. It's grams _per_ hogshead, so you would have to multiply in order to get the number of grams.

      The correct value is:
      238500 * 19.86 = 4736610 grams, which is closer to 4737 kilos.

      That is a _very_ significant difference.

    106. Re:Whoops by h4rm0ny · · Score: 4, Insightful


      Funny how the US people started calling the French cowards for standing up to oppose them in the UN.

      --

      Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
    107. Re:Whoops by Palshife · · Score: 1

      Well then, call me Deacon Blues.

      --
      Attention deficit disorder is a complicated issue, spanning several major... HEY LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!
    108. Re:Whoops by yodleboy · · Score: 1

      oh great now I have to change the combination on my luggage!

    109. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Though like the ocean, the entire volume is not used in space. Some orbital regions are better than others. In particular, the two satellites that collided were in very crowded polar orbits.

    110. Re:Whoops by Fex303 · · Score: 2, Informative

      Some one will now rip my math into shreds of sobbing uselessness, probably around the newtons to meters/second part.

      Actually, I might do it a little earlier.

      238500 grams/hoghshead

      238500/19.86=12009 grams of plutonium(call it 12 kilos)

      First off, it should be 238500 cm^3/hogshead. Which happens to be 238500 grams of water, but that's fairly minor. The real killer is that you should then have multiplied by the density of plutonium, not divided by it. Simple sanity check - do you expect plutonium to float? If not then it shouldn't be lighter than water.

      So it ends up with 238,500*19.86 = 4,736,610 grams of plutonium.

      Thus you have ~95,000,000 tons of TNT per hogshead of plutonium.

      Which comes around ~391,000,000Gj.

      Which makes for a bit under 2,000,000,000,000kN when used to over 40 rods.

      I'd work out the speed the sub would get up to, but I'm running late for work...

    111. Re:Whoops by Binkleyz · · Score: 1

      Unless you're in: India, Pakistan, Nepal or certain parts of New Zealand.

    112. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Followed by 'glub, glub' 'glose dad doors!' & 'oh noes must save my pr0n collection'

    113. Re:Whoops by Soruk · · Score: 1

      It also proves the on-board tech to help them remain undetected worked.

      --
      -- Soruk
    114. Re:Whoops by WastedMeat · · Score: 1

      A newton is the amount of force (not energy) to accelerate a 1 kg object by 1 m/s/s (not to 1 m/s), but that is one error among many here.

    115. Re:Whoops by Fluffeh · · Score: 2, Informative

      If two submarines crash in the ocean, and neither is running sonar, does it make a sound?

      yes. it sounds like "crunch" followed by "oh, shit".

      Then followed by "merde!"

      --
      Moved to http://soylentnews.org/. You are invited to join us too!
    116. Re:Whoops by Penguinisto · · Score: 1

      ...considering that we all have 127.0.0.1 for an IP addy, this may get a bit ugly if we change 'em all at once...

      --
      Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
    117. Re:Whoops by Falconhell · · Score: 1

      Not quite right I am afraid, I believe Japan does too.

    118. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      satelittes, subs...whats next?
      Cruise liners?

    119. Re:Whoops by mpyne · · Score: 1

      For two SSBNs to involved in such a bump, either one or the other had to be involved in SSN-like games, or pretty astronomical odds were just surmounted in a random collision

      A more mundane possibility is that both submarines were transiting to or from their patrol areas and managed to collide on the way. Given the sensitive nature of SSBN operations I'm pretty sure the British and French Naval commands don't exactly tell their counterparts where their SSBNs will be operating.

    120. Re:Whoops by Falconhell · · Score: 0, Redundant

      Yeh, The nuclear arsenal isnt there to protect against the Russians, its there to defend against the French.

    121. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It would be a huge waste of money to patrol the entire ocean system. They were either patrolling the North Atlantic trade routes, or were both interested in following a specific ship undetectably.

    122. Re:Whoops by Karem+Lore · · Score: 1
      This is marked as funny but actually, in towns, you do give way differently...

      In France, but not as defacto as it used to be, you give way to the right! That is, if you are driving down a road and there is a car coming out from the right, you have to stop and give way...Called "Priorite a droite" (minus accents from a UK keyboard).

      Roundabouts used to be different too but they have since seen sense...Originally you used to have to give way to cars entering the roundabout (yes, stopping on the roundabout as necessary).

      So, my best guess is that the UK Sub was driving in a straight line when a crazed French d(r)iver came from the right expecting the UK sub to give way, which it didn't, hence crash. Litigation will be based on whether the waters at the point of collision are French, UK or whether they should have respected International maritime law...whatever that is.

      --
      When all is said and done, nothing changes...
    123. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, you had it right the first time.

    124. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Droit" is straight. Right (as opposed to left) is "droite".

    125. Re:Whoops by Guppy · · Score: 1

      What a coincidence -- I've got the same combination on my luggage!

    126. Re:Whoops by CrimsonAvenger · · Score: 1

      Or maybe they were both in stealth mode.

      In general, Subs are always in stealth mode. The only exception would be when they're snorkling (yes, Nuke boats snorkel, for drills practicing reactor damage/failures).

      The only thing surprising about two boats colliding is that those two nations are nominally allied, and so should be operating in pre-assigned and separate areas of the ocean. The fact that they didn't hear each other just shows that they're working as intended.

      --

      "I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"
    127. Re:Whoops by Savantissimo · · Score: 1

      Doesn't Saudi Arabia still use solar time?

      --
      "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?" - Patrick Henry
    128. Re:Whoops by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      You were supposed to Whoosh! him.

    129. Re:Whoops by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 1

      Since when are the French our allies? Non-combatants maybe, but exactly allies.

      You may have heard of this organization, it's called "NATO". Both US and France are members of it. It is generally considered to be a military alliance, and had run a number of cooperative military operations in the last decade (the most recent notable one being the anti-Taliban campaign in Afghanistan).

      Any more questions?

    130. Re:Whoops by Linzer · · Score: 1

      This is correct - a nuclear missile submarine's whole purpose is to hide.

      Then why do we build them? I bet it's a lot easier to hide a nonexistent submarine.

      Very interesting point: that's how nuclear deterrence works. If one nation could make others believe that it had submarines hiding all over the oceans without actually building any, it would certainly be the way to go.

      --
      Gravitation is a theory, not a fact.
    131. Re:Whoops by __aaqvdr516 · · Score: 1

      You pretty much summed up what I was going to say. Submarine sonar, when passive, simply picks up background noise. In order for either sub to hear the other they'd have to listen for "the quiet spot" in the ocean, since all modern subs use sound dampening materials and other measures to reduce noise emissions. Definitely working as intended!

    132. Re:Whoops by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      Buddy, "0 furlongs" is pretty much identical to "0 feet" or "0 meters". You're fucked once you reach that regardless of which measurement you're using; the idea is to avoid it. Not doing so is pretty much a sign of incompetence, period.

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    133. Re:Whoops by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      Meters? Which meter? The current meter, the 1880 meter, or the 1970 meter?

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    134. Re:Whoops by RulerOf · · Score: 1

      I know! I feel so... robbed. By myself.

      --
      Boot Windows, Linux, and ESX over the network for free.
    135. Re:Whoops by Tassach · · Score: 1

      The design goal of a submarine is for it to be completely undetectable -- to everyone, even it's own Navy. Typically submarine commanders are given a (huge) patrol area; they go there and get lost - no one not on board the sub, not even the fleet admiral, knows exactly where it is. What you don't know, enemy spies can't find out.

      --
      Why is it that the proponents of "one nation under God" are so eager to get rid of "liberty and justice for all"?
    136. Re:Whoops by Tassach · · Score: 1

      That old story. I'm surprised people don't know it's fake when they hear it:

      1. Given the curvature of the earth, if the ship saw the light from the lighthouse, how close is he?

      2. If he is seeing the lighthouse on radar, why doesn't the radar show the coast?

      3. Carriers and battleships usually sail in the middle of a task force.

      4. Someone in charge of a multi-million dollar capital ship is too stupid to know where land is? Come on.

      You'd have to be stuck on stupid to believe it is true.

      It's rare, but it does happen. August 28, 1913: Battleship Louisiana ran aground in the harbor in Vera Cruz, Mexico. It was re-floated without damage later that day.

      Naval commanders, even highly experienced ones, do occasional f*ck up.

      --
      Why is it that the proponents of "one nation under God" are so eager to get rid of "liberty and justice for all"?
    137. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In this case it would have been more like "Bollocks!" and "Mon Dieu!"

    138. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      nope just typical.

    139. Re:Whoops by OpenSourceOfAllEvil · · Score: 1

      Now, now the French have had many glorious naval victories. Like the sinking of the Greenpeace vessel Rainbow Warrior. This will just be recorded in French history books as one more. Now, who else wants to sign the Marsellaise?

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinking_of_the_Rainbow_Warrior

    140. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually it just happens to turn out that they were both pinging 127.0.0.1. Go figure.

    141. Re:Whoops by VoltageX · · Score: 1

      You mean "merde!"

      --
      "Anonymous could not immediately be reached for further comment." - International Business Times
    142. Re:Whoops by madclicker · · Score: 1

      A French and a British submarine collide in the middle of the Atlantic...; and it's not a beggining to a joke -_-

      --
      "History is the realm of the true lie." A.Szerb
    143. Re:Whoops by dafing · · Score: 1
      glad to know I'm not the only one outraged over that still, as a young New Zealander I always have remembered that bullshit, but reading that article about the killers who blew up a pacifist ship in our nuclear free country.....they went back to France because "yip yip yip, we'll keep them locked up here to learn their lesson", they served 10 percent of the time they should have.

      Makes me really wish that Labour didnt cancel the F16s, so we could at least protect ourselves from our treacherous allies

      --
      --- ...or a new slashdot signature. Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all
    144. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      not really, in the other sub it would be "oh merde!"

    145. Re:Whoops by mysticgoat · · Score: 2, Informative

      It's the limeys and the frogs trying to play "let's sneak up on 'em" the way the yanks and the russkies used to do.

      There, has that got enough pejorative in it for ya?

    146. Re:Whoops by mysticgoat · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Well, in English if you are traveling North and need to turn West, then going left is right but going right is wrong.

      Which might explain why USA politics has gotten itself into such a mess. We really need another Abott and Costello team to get our directions straignt again.

    147. Re:Whoops by ubergeek2009 · · Score: 1

      In all seriousness here I use the model number of my laptop.

    148. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Satellites fly in defined orbits which have purpose (keeping it over one spot on the earth, going over the equator, covering the most land, north-south, etc..) any satellite in a given orbit class needs the same "height" to sustain that orbit, also satellites do not have their own engines so there's no 3d movement in terms of orbital paths. (notice all orbits are 2d ovals)

      Also wrong about the nuclear subs being confined to a 2d space... they're submarines and unless they're they same ship type (unlikely due to being from different nations) they are unlikely to be cruising at the same depths.

      And one last note: there are many many many more satellites in orbit than their are active submarines.

    149. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Incorrect. At 238.5 L per hogshead, that's 238500 cc per hogshead. Multiplied, not divided by 19.86 g/cc for plutonium, and your estimate is low by a factor of nearly 400.

    150. Re:Whoops by Ihmhi · · Score: 1

      Why don't they just use arrows?

    151. Re:Whoops by slashuzer · · Score: 1

      Sheldon? That sounds like something Sheldon would say!

    152. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thankfully we have towed arrays to check the baffles nowadays

    153. Re:Whoops by hesaigo999ca · · Score: 1

      Maybe if they added bumpers?

    154. Re:Whoops by Aetrus · · Score: 1

      Nah, I always remember making fun of France. Nothing personal really. It probably had something to do with building a giant fortified wall...that was driven around.

    155. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's the same combination on my luggage.

    156. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You must be talking of Kenyan drivers!

    157. Re:Whoops by DarthVain · · Score: 1

      Heh, all I can thing of is:

      BONG!

      like a big gong or bell rinnging...

    158. Re:Whoops by Abreu · · Score: 1

      While The Big Bang Theory is funny*, you should really read the Discworld novels if you enjoy this kind of nerdy humor...

      * The only thing I can't stomach of that show is the laugh track... Damn TV execs, they insult their audiences inteligence

      --
      No sig for the moment.
    159. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes, you're way off. If a hogshead is 238.5 liters, that means a hogshead of water would weigh 238.5kg. Plutonium weighs 19.86 times more than water, therefore about 4737kg of plutonium per hogshead, or 94.7 megatons of explosive power. Go from there.

    160. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sounds like they could use windshields.

      I liked the one on SeaView.
      They kept it so clean that you could even see the blood veins in the suction cups on the tentacles of the Humongous Squids.

    161. Re:Whoops by ghoul · · Score: 1

      The wall served its purpose. To Invade France the Germans had to invade Belgium first and that made them the villains as the Belgians had done nothing to them. France on the other hand had taken huge parts of German land and industry after WW1 so if Germany had attacked France and Poland and only those countries as these two had taken German land the rest of the world including Britain would have stayed out of the war. But once the Germans drove around and invaded Belgium the gloves came off and it was total war.

      --
      **Life is too short to be serious**
    162. Re:Whoops by ghoul · · Score: 1

      Nah I think the French tried to communicate their position but unfortunately they spoke in English. However everyone knows only immigrants serve in the British-American forces so they should have tried Urdu or Spanish first.

      --
      **Life is too short to be serious**
    163. Re:Whoops by ghoul · · Score: 1

      Did you just say SUB marines stay always at the surface of the ocean:0)???

      --
      **Life is too short to be serious**
    164. Re:Whoops by h4rm0ny · · Score: 1

      The Air Force has monopolized space exploration long enough, now it's the Navy's turn to go to the moon!

      Or through it.

      --

      Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
    165. Re:Whoops by h4rm0ny · · Score: 1


      Can you explain a bit more for those of us unfamiliar with the subject? Sounds interesting...

      --

      Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
  2. Euphemism? by FrostDust · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is there a reason "collide in ocean" is in quotes? Could we also say they were "bumping their ballasts", "raising their periscopes", and so on?

    1. Re:Euphemism? by Hal_Porter · · Score: 5, Funny

      It is in so called 'quote marks' because it is a quotation.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    2. Re:Euphemism? by Sinning · · Score: 0

      Is this where baby submarines come from?

    3. Re:Euphemism? by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

      To differentiate it from nuclear subs that 'collide in mid-air'.

      --
      No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
    4. Re:Euphemism? by bondjamesbond · · Score: 0

      No, baby submarines come from the flying Manta Ray who drop them down hydrothermal vents on the Ocean floor.

    5. Re:Euphemism? by need4mospd · · Score: 1

      They were "eating a $5 foot long"?

    6. Re:Euphemism? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      -1, sense of humour failure

    7. Re:Euphemism? by Yvan256 · · Score: 1

      And satellites that 'collide in mid-space'.

    8. Re:Euphemism? by MorePower · · Score: 1

      I was thinking the same thing. My first reaction to quotation marks nowadays is to think the words are sarcastic or a euphemism or in some way not exactly true.

      I think we need to come up with some different punctuation marks to distinguish quotes for not-quite-true and quotes that are actually, you know, quoting someone.

    9. Re:Euphemism? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The fact this was modded as funny rather than informative hurts my impression of you guys. :(

    10. Re:Euphemism? by DamienNightbane · · Score: 0, Troll

      That's not funny. My brother died that way.

    11. Re:Euphemism? by ruiner13 · · Score: 1

      "Fly big D! FLY!"

      "The captain has scared the Americans out of the water!"

      --

      today is spelling optional day.

    12. Re:Euphemism? by Neon+Aardvark · · Score: 1

      Just imagine the hideous calamity that would have to befall us to have nuclear subs colliding in mid air. Heavy.

      --
      Azural - instrumentals
    13. Re:Euphemism? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Shows you just how much mod points are worth. : /

    14. Re:Euphemism? by mistahkurtz · · Score: 1

      "It is in so called 'quote marks' because it is a quotation."

      please go on, i'd like to learn more about how these "quotes" work. are you required to put 'quote marks' when you type "'quote marks'"?

      --
      not only is time travel possible, it's irrelevant.
    15. Re:Euphemism? by Maxwell'sSilverLART · · Score: 5, Funny

      "There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
      --old Navy reply to cocky Air Force pilots

      --
      Moderate drunk! It's more fun that way!
    16. Re:Euphemism? by treeves · · Score: 1

      Hell, there are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the *ocean*.

      --
      ...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
    17. Re:Euphemism? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Doing the nasty penguin"?

      I've seen fairy penguins doing it. They do it in the ocean.

      No, that's what they're called - they're not homos.

    18. Re:Euphemism? by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 1

      To differentiate it from nuclear subs that 'collide in mid-air'.

      Those must be Russian.

    19. Re:Euphemism? by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      Read his post again. Satellites colliding in space is a much more likely event than SSNs colliding in midair.

  3. collision crisis by Caue · · Score: 5, Funny

    forget the credit crunch. it's the collision crisis that will doom us all. I can already predict people bumping one another on the streets, cows going to waste on the fields, large buildings tripping the little ones... it's the apocalypse.

    1. Re:collision crisis by ideonode · · Score: 5, Funny

      Apparently, the UK submarine was carrying red paint, and the French sub was carrying blue paint.

      All the sailors are marooned.

    2. Re:collision crisis by iamhigh · · Score: 2, Funny

      I don't know if I should suggest up or down mod for that one. But it did get me to actually reply, so it couldn't have been all bad.

      --
      No comprende? Let me type that a little slower for you...
    3. Re:collision crisis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That was funny.

    4. Re:collision crisis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      now that is funny. thanks for a good chuckle.

    5. Re:collision crisis by Loquis · · Score: 1

      Coat->Door

    6. Re:collision crisis by Lurker2288 · · Score: 1

      i'm pretty sure red and blue make purple. Maroon would be red and brown. Just don't get your chocolate in my peanut butter.

    7. Re:collision crisis by ndege · · Score: 1

      Isn't there supposed to be a chur-ching at the end of that statement, followed by, "I will be here all week." ;)

      --
      Sig Return: 204 No Content
  4. bad news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    I was just robbed :( Of my future. The perps were a hip black guy, a weasly white guy that looked constipated, and a slightly creepy cougar type woman. They stole 700 billion from me.

  5. Subs don't always use SONAR by Mr.+Underbridge · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Despite being equipped with sonar, it seems neither vessel spotted the other, the BBC's Caroline Wyatt said."

    That's not surprising. All that stealthy sub technology doesn't work well when you're pinging with active SONAR. When subs don't want to be found, they go quiet and depend on their sensors to pick up noise from other vessels. Of course, if you have two subs each of whicf has stealth technology that is better than the other sub's sensors, then you have a situation where two subs can't see each other. Which could lead to a collision.

    1. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by coulbc · · Score: 5, Insightful

      It could also be possible one sub had detected the other and was shadowing it. The shadowed sub could have performed and unexpected maneuver and they collided. It's happened before.

    2. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by palmersperry · · Score: 1

      Given that they where both SSBNs it seems somewhat unlikely one would be tracking the other. More likely one would track just long enough to get an idea of the other's course and speed and then head off at 90 degrees to that course.

    3. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      According to the BBC, the subs may have been equipped with "too effective" anti-sonar devices.

    4. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by duffel · · Score: 1

      Con Sonar - Crazy Ivan!!

    5. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Arancaytar · · Score: 5, Funny

      And to misquote Order of the Stick:

      *bump*

      "Sorry for knocking you over, I didn't see you there."

      "Don't worry. Happens all the time. 'Cause, you know. Ninja."

    6. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Vanguard was d

    7. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Jantastic · · Score: 1

      Subs don't always use SONAR

      Given that they where both SSBNs it seems somewhat unlikely one would be tracking the other

      IANASubmariner, but I'm pretty sure they always use sonar and track surrounding vessels. Active sonar (transmitting sound actively), no. Passive sonar (listening only) on the other hand, of course they do that, all the time. And I can't think of any reasons not to track nearby vessels, except for the sensors which require specific targetting (an angle) when there is a more interesting target nearby.

      --
      ...a fact which for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore ~H2G2
    8. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Exactly.

      The other thing, as discussed by this guy, is that there's a lot of inertia involved, and you don't stop nuclear submarines on a dime.

    9. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by squoozer · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I believe they collided almost head on so unless that manoeuvre was a handbrake turn I doubt they were shadowing one another (submarines not being well known for their manoeuvrability). I suspect that it's more likely a case of wrong place at the wrong time combined with good stealth technology). Actually, this does say a bit about how good the stealth technology must be since they weren't able to passively detect one another.

      --
      I used to have a better sig but it broke.
    10. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by jcookeman · · Score: 1

      Subs always use SONAR. However, they use passive SONAR. And, if two subs are at transit speeds, their passive SONAR is virtually blind, e.g. there is so much flow noise you would not be able to hear subtle things. Trident submarines -- and almost all modern subs -- are so quiet that even when you know where they are it is almost impossible to detect and hear them. So, this is not a surprise they were not able to hear each other. What is surprising is with all that deep, deep ocean out there, two of them just happened right into each other.

    11. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Veetox · · Score: 1

      Looks to me like both crews did their jobs well... too well.

    12. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Mr.+Underbridge · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Subs always use SONAR. However, they use passive SONAR.

      Right, and that's where I think people are getting the misconception, because they see SONAR as the active type - which you don't want to use when you don't want to be found. As you point out, stealth technology defeats sensors underwater these days.

      So, this is not a surprise they were not able to hear each other. What is surprising is with all that deep, deep ocean out there, two of them just happened right into each other.

      Methinks I detect some sarcasm? ;) A different way of looking at that might be to ask what the interesting thing is that both of them were looking for. The article mentions that they happen to frequent the same sea lanes, but even still that seems a tad improbable.

      Unless one of these two subs has swapped out the nuclear propulsion for Douglas Adams' Infinite Improbability Drive, something smells a tad fishy.

    13. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by mike2R · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I also ANASubmariner, but I have read several Tom Clancy books :) I think by "tracking", grandparent was talking about one sub following the other - playing war games essentially - rather than just taking note of it on passive sonar. Apparently (according to Tom Clancy) this is something a sub who's purpose is to launch land-attack nuclear missiles would never do. If they detect another sub they piss off as quickly and quietly as possible and carry on waiting for someone to tell them to start blowing things up.

      --
      This sig all sigs devours
    14. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ...so unless that manoeuvre was a handbrake turn I doubt they were shadowing one another...

      Ah yes, of course! The influx of young sailors is to blame for this terrible accident. It seems that the two subs were involve in a gymkhana competition to prove the superiority of their respective navies.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gymkhana_(motorsport)

    15. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Simon+Brooke · · Score: 1

      Unless one of these two subs has swapped out the nuclear propulsion for Douglas Adams' Infinite Improbability Drive, something smells a tad fishy.

      Dammit, Penfold! The secret has leaked!

      Crumbs, chief!

      --
      I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.
    16. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by phosphorylate+this · · Score: 1

      I've been telling the guys in the subs to blow thing up for like ages. Seems its all about who you know though, typical.

    17. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      a.k.a. The Crazy Ivan^h^h^h^hPierre.

    18. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Registered+Coward+v2 · · Score: 4, Informative

      IAS, and while we listen on passive it is possible for you not to hear another boat in the water. We have patrol areas and transit lanes set aside to avoid going bump in the night, but shit happens.

      --
      I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
    19. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by funky49 · · Score: 1

      It's happened before.

      It will happen again.

      (BSG reference FYI)

      --
      --- rapper/producer/bachelorette party stripper
    20. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by mpyne · · Score: 1

      Conn Sonar - Crazy Ivan!!

      This is why real submariners hate Crimson Tide and The Hunt for Red October... they give people the wrong impression as to what actually goes on underway.

    21. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by mpyne · · Score: 1

      Unless one of these two subs has swapped out the nuclear propulsion for Douglas Adams' Infinite Improbability Drive, something smells a tad fishy.

      If they really actived the Infinite Improbability Drive then they should double-check the status of the nuclear missiles...

      But anyways, submarines have collided before, though normally in Cold War scenarios. For instance, USS Tautog while tracking a Soviet submarine.

      Although the "Big Ocean, Little Ship" theory is more than 99% effective at preventing collision it isn't perfect. Submarines will avoid things they can hear, it's hard to steer around something just as undetectable as yourself though.

    22. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by duffel · · Score: 1

      Yup, you caught me out, I'm not a submariner. :-) So, what does really go on down there?

    23. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by __aaqvdr516 · · Score: 1

      IAS, It's not gay underway.

    24. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Something tells me Down Periscope is a more accurate source for daily naval goings-on...

    25. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      Given that they where both SSBNs it seems somewhat unlikely one would be tracking the other.

      Why not? One submarine stumbling onto and following another sub is probably the best form of practice outside of war itself.

    26. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by mpyne · · Score: 2, Informative

      Get 4 hours of sleep, wake up, prewatch tour, eat, stand 6 hours of watch, try to fit all of your divisional and collateral responsibilities into 4-5 hours (and fail), attend training, work on qualifications, etc. for another couple of hours, and repeat the 18-hour cycle.

      As an added bonus, the senior chain of command works on a 24-hour a day schedule instead of the normal 18-hour a day schedule, which means that the frequent morning and/or afternoon all-hands drills may occur during the time you're supposed to be sleeping. Oh well. :P

      Basically we stand watch and train continuously, catching breaks when we can. I'm an officer, the routine is a bit different for enlisted crew (more cleaning and other assorted BS but then they don't have to attend EVERY SINGLE TRAINING SESSION known to man ;).

    27. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by totally+bogus+dude · · Score: 1

      For attack subs yes, but not for ballistic missile submarines. That's not their purpose.

      That doesn't mean it didn't happen, of course. Might've seemed like a fun thing to do at the time...

    28. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by foobarbaz · · Score: 1

      Sounds like a whole lot of nothing.

    29. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by StikyPad · · Score: 1

      Officers are fond of reminding the enlisted that their jobs are so similar. Which only makes the difference in standards of living all the more insulting. Pricks.

    30. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR by mpyne · · Score: 1

      Officers are fond of reminding the enlisted that their jobs are so similar. Which only makes the difference in standards of living all the more insulting. Pricks.

      Fair enough. I've heard enlisted crewmembers tell me they'd like to get a commission but most also say they only want that if they come back as a Supply Officer. The prior enlisted officers in our wardroom don't seem to think it's a cakewalk and I've never been told by an enlisted crewmember that they'd rather have my job.

      In my experience a lot of the officer/enlisted relationship is controlled by the chain of command though. Our other crew had a CO when I rode them that was a stickler for strict separation of supervisor/worker. Our CO is much different in that regard (the crew's inputs are not ignored and junior officers caught helping with cleaning during field day don't get flamesprayed).

      The rest depends on the person in question. Our ENG had a fellow JO on his last boat who was too full of himself who had to be fixed via "malicious compliance" and some of our Academy guys don't rate highly with the crew but at least on our boat we all get along pretty well together.

      And just as an aside, at least on SSBN the enlisted get the best meal service IMO, so that's something at least (especially if you're oncoming and actually want to eat).

  6. All Alone by Sanat · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Run silent - Run deep.

    When you think you are all alone out there in the big ocean then there is no need for sonar which would just gives your position away... just in case someone is out there.

    When two play the game it can only lead to problems eventually... sort of like driving at night without headlights.

    --
    And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make
    1. Re:All Alone by Sobrique · · Score: 1

      ... in a really really huge, 3 dimensional field.
      Really, the odds of a collision 'just random like' are such that ... well, the captains of those subs might want to take up playing the lottery, because they might just be winning twice in a row.

    2. Re:All Alone by Lars+T. · · Score: 5, Funny

      Run silent - Run deep.

      - Run into each other.

      --

      Lars T.

      To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck

    3. Re:All Alone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_sonar#Passive_sonar

    4. Re:All Alone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Unless it wasn't random, and one of the subs was tracking the other for practice. In that case, the odds of a collision go up a lot.

    5. Re:All Alone by Like2Byte · · Score: 1

      OMG! That was brilliant! That brought tears to my eyes.

      FWIW, I am a former Sub Sailor. USS Phoenix (SSN-702).

    6. Re:All Alone by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 1

      sort of like driving at night without headlights.

      ... in Antarctica.

    7. Re:All Alone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      driving at night without headlights

      This is great.. I'm learning so much today!

  7. Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by psyopper · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe if they weren't in super stealth mode they would have seen each other and the accident could have been avoided. This technology is too dangerous and needs to be outlawed through international treaty. The up side is that we know that stealth works!!

    1. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Stealth in this case means being quiet. Perhaps you want to outlaw the wearing of sneakers too because they don't make enough noise when people walk in them -- through international treaty, no less!

    2. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      This technology is too dangerous and needs to be outlawed through international treaty.

      If nuclear submarines are outlawed, only outlaws will have nuclear submarines.

      The US has the most by number, do you really think we'll let them all go?

      You can't disarm without eliminating the reasons you armed in the first place. Global disarmament just means that whoever kept a gun hidden in their shorts now gets to dominate the globe.

      Mutually Assured Destruction only works when it is Mutually Assured.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    3. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by psyopper · · Score: 1

      The idea has merit...

    4. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by psyopper · · Score: 1

      I would never presume to give up our nuclear submarines! I was inferring that Stealth Technology is is too dangerous! We need all the nukes we can get to fend off the enemy. However, if we hide all of our nukes, how will the enemy even know we have them? I say show them off!! By the way, the entire idea of my post was intended with the utmost sarcasm. Don't turn me into a troll!

    5. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by NeverVotedBush · · Score: 0

      I don't see how it has merit. There are a couple of posts above that discuss why submarines run quiet - it's precisely so they won't be detected.

      Submarines are the last part of Mutual Assured Destruction. Even if one country manages to wipe out another's land-based missile launch capability, the submarine-based missiles still have a good chance of being launched in retaliation and finding their targets.

      It's for that deterrent reason that I think making submarines easy to track would be a very bad idea. It would open up the possibility for one country to have confidence it could attack another with little threat of retaliation.

    6. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by chaim79 · · Score: 1

      Global disarmament just means that whoever kept a gun hidden in their shorts now gets to dominate the globe.

      So Porn stars shall inherit the earth?

      --
      DEMETRIUS: Villain, what hast thou done?
      AARON: Villain, I have done thy mother.
      Shakespeare invents 'your mom'
    7. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Teun · · Score: 1, Troll

      Mutually Assured Destruction only works when it is Mutually Assured.

      You miss part of the sentence, 'The Threat of' needs to be included.

      And in case of guy's with a religious chip on their rag head even that doesn't work, they long to be destructed.

      So be careful what you wish for, the old enemies mutually giving up on this type of potential destruction will only invite these even scarier opponents of humanity.

      --
      "The likes of Facebook and WhatsApp are free to those whose privacy is of zero value."
    8. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Being ex Royal Navy myself, I know just ho stealthy these SSBNs really are.

      We had a two week exercise with the US Navy to hunt for a Vanguard class sub. The sub said its goodbyes, we gave it a couple of hours then we went hunting. Two weeks later we didn't find it. The sub surfaces, only for them to tell us they have been sitting under one of the destroyers hulls all the time.

    9. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      Jesus Christ. Please get your sarcasm detector fixed.

      Fucking moron.

    10. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by nicodoggie · · Score: 1

      Of course not, porn stars don't have shorts!!

    11. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Kooonsty · · Score: 1

      Maybe if they weren't in super stealth mode they would have seen each other and the accident could have been avoided. This technology is too dangerous and needs to be outlawed through international treaty. The up side is that we know that stealth works!!

      When you outlaw stealth technology, only criminals with have stealth technology.

    12. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by NeverVotedBush · · Score: 1

      Who pissed in your Cheerios?

      I took the original post as sarcastic until the OP came back and said the idea has merit.

      And who cares if I gave a rational answer to a sarcastic post?

      Oh wait - you do. Sorry. You can have my first born to sacrifice at the altar of the BBS police.

    13. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

      They were pulling your leg. In actual fact they dry-docked it and spent two weeks in the pub.

      --
      Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
    14. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The original poster didn't reply to himself. Someone suggest we also ban sneakers because they are too quiet. The OP joked that THAT idea has merit. If you aren't going to read all posts, you can't get pissed when people point out you're being an idiot.

    15. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You did by being a goat fucking idiot.

      It's people like you who make me wish there were prenatal testing for stupidity so you would have had a coat hanger abortion.

      What you consider rational is what the rest of the world considers inane, redundant, a waste of atoms.

      Please, for the love of all that is holy, go off yourself.

    16. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Simon+Brooke · · Score: 1

      Submarines are the last part of Mutual Assured Destruction. Even if one country manages to wipe out another's land-based missile launch capability, the submarine-based missiles still have a good chance of being launched in retaliation and finding their targets.

      It's for that deterrent reason that I think making submarines easy to track would be a very bad idea. It would open up the possibility for one country to have confidence it could attack another with little threat of retaliation.

      Yes, but, thankfully, there aren't any longer any nations seriously prepared to wage all-out nuclear war with one another (possible exceptions being Israel and North Korea, but neither have the arsenals to destroy the planet).

      Meantime, there's a serious risk that nuclear submarines could become the first part of Mutually Unintended Destruction, where just a few missiles launched in error could lead to a chain of events which would end the world.

      Ignoring for the moment farces like this one, we'd all be a lot safer without them.

      --
      I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.
    17. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Don't turn me into a troll!

      There's a fine line between funny and troll (or flamebait.) Trust me. Aw shit, I still have (5, Funny) comments in my history, but the (-1, ...) somethingorother mods have dropped off. Guess that's what I get for not subscribing.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    18. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I don't doubt that. If I recall it right, during an exercise a Norwegian Kobben-class (!) submarine completely avoided detection, and hid below a US carrier. To add to the insult, they even surfaced and took pictures of the carrier's hull. Talk about major embarrassment. It should be safe to presume that most submarines in use today have vastly better stealth-capability, so it's no surprice that they can linger about undetected.

    19. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by phosphorylate+this · · Score: 1

      rag head? Have you read Revelations - modern technology allows us to make that a reality!

    20. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by spun · · Score: 1

      You did by being a goat fucking idiot.

      It's people like you who make me wish there were prenatal testing for stupidity so you would have had a coat hanger abortion.

      What you consider rational is what the rest of the world considers inane, redundant, a waste of atoms.

      Please, for the love of all that is holy, go off yourself.

      You know, just posting "I'm an insecure asshole" is much shorter and conveys nearly the exact same message. Your anger does not frighten, it does not incite rage or frustration. It is like an elixir, a pleasant and refreshing drought from your wellspring of seething emotion. We all feel good because we now know that somewhere, an asshole is suffering in impotent rage. Thanks.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    21. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by quacking+duck · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Questions to navy/sonar folk... is active sonar used by surface fleets (e.g. carrier groups) every so often, so they don't sail right past subs floating silently in wait?

      And are they detailed enough to distinguish between hulls in such close proximity, like the sub under the destroyer hull in the exercise?

      If not (to either question), what's to prevent an enemy sub from pulling exactly this trick?

    22. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by budgenator · · Score: 1

      if we hide all of our nukes, how will the enemy even know we have them? I say show them off!!

      They know, their satellites see the Crews families waving good-bye as they leave port and welcome home moths later when they return.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    23. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh yeah? You're gay.

    24. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by spun · · Score: 1

      Bisexual actually. I'll suck cock if I'm really into the guy, but no anal. I have piles, so it's kinda uncomfortable. Oh wait, you were trying to insult me. Seriously, 'gay' ceased being an insult some time last millennium. All the use of the term 'gay' does now is announce to the world that the user of the term is a backwards troglodyte. But you've already established that, so once again you are just wasting our time.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    25. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Arguing on the Internet is like racing in the special Olympics.

    26. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by spun · · Score: 1

      I won!

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    27. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by kullnd · · Score: 1

      A few missiles launched in error?!? You know nothing of what you speak. Trust me when I say to launch these missiles in error would not be in error at all.

      --
      +++ATH0 NO CARRIER
    28. Re:Stealth Technology is Too Dangerous by cbhacking · · Score: 1, Interesting

      I'm reminded of a story I heard about two US Navy battle groups playing war games. The commanding officer of one of the groups was frustrated because the other always seemed to know *exactly* where he was - it's a big ocean, and carriers routinely launch from well out of radar range from their targets, and yet the other CO always knew where to send his planes.

      The CO then got an idea, and asked the sonar operator what the current depth was. The sonarman responded that the depth sounder was broken; ever since leaving port it had read 300 feet. The CO called another ship in his group and asked them to fire a sonar pulse beneath his ship, and discovered that an opposing submarine had been shadowing his group throughout the entire exercise. Nobody - not even the destroyers who were supposed to hunt subs - had caught on.

      --
      There's no place I could be, since I've found Serenity...
  8. Crazy Ivans? by Zymergy · · Score: 1

    Could one of them have been shadowing the other one... and suddenly one decided to make a quick random maneuver?

    1. Re:Crazy Ivans? by hcdejong · · Score: 3, Informative

      Both were ballistic missile submarines. For those, following other submarines at distances where crashes are a significant risk is not SOP.

    2. Re:Crazy Ivans? by rd1101 · · Score: 0

      Ah, the time honored Battleship tradition of stacking ships.

  9. in the immortal words from Star trek.... by pig-power · · Score: 5, Funny

    Chekov "where are your nukleer wessels??"

    1. Re:in the immortal words from Star trek.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Of course, it was a nuclear aircraft carrier, not a nuclear sub.

  10. Odds ? by Davemania · · Score: 4, Interesting

    What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ? There are rumors that US and Russian subs collided frequently during the cold wars because of the close proximity when they tracked each other and these incidents were usually silenced for political reasons. perhaps something else is going on ? One of the captains decided to be a smart ass ?

    1. Re:Odds ? by CRCulver · · Score: 4, Informative

      Indeed, Sherry Sontag's Blind Man's Bluff tells a lot of interesting stories about Russian-American submarine escapades during the Cold War. Sometimes our Navies seemed less like proud defenders of the motherland and more like dumbass high school kids playing chicken.

    2. Re:Odds ? by v1 · · Score: 1

      I suppose it also depends on WHERE they collided. Certainly out somewhere in the atlantic it's not going to happen unless they're playing tag or hide n seek, but near a port there's a choke point of where you'd prefer to go if you're a sub. Get enough of them running through the same small area all the time and eventually the odds will get you.

      Need to think in 3-D here too. It's not just a longitude/latitude that have to coincide, they have to match depth too. It's like a mid-air collision. And I suppose my point is, it becomes a lot more likely if you're flying near an airport...

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    3. Re:Odds ? by bentcd · · Score: 2, Informative

      What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ?

      FTFA:
      "Both navies want quiet areas, deep areas, roughly the same distance from their home ports. So you find these station grounds have got quite a few submarines, not only French and Royal Navy but also from Russia and the United States."

      So probably not quite as unlikely as one would have been more comfortable thinking :-)

      --
      sigs are hazardous to your health
    4. Re:Odds ? by TheBracket · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I'd imagine that it is made more likely by the topology of the ocean floor itself; there are probably good corridors through which to travel undetected (especially in 'friendly' water where it's unlikely that the enemy have detector arrays). If both sides are using the same ocean floor map, it seems that the odds of a collision go up considerably if there's an obvious corridor to traverse/hide in.

      --
      Lead developer, http://wisptools.net
    5. Re:Odds ? by anss123 · · Score: 1

      What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ?

      About the same as the chance of two satellites colliding in space.

    6. Re:Odds ? by owlnation · · Score: 1

      What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ?

      I'd guess the odds are astronomical. The Atlantic Ocean is huge, subs aren't. They were almost definitely up to something. Maybe some kind of exercise that went wrong.

    7. Re:Odds ? by geckipede · · Score: 1

      The other possibility is that we have a few orders of magnitude more submarines than we let on....

      You heard nothing, I didn't write this.

    8. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In any large scale politically driven event, human intelligence never rises above that level. Look at political posturing. National pride. It's all playground bullshit, even the reasons for wars are always stupid.

    9. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Something else going on????

      Sacre couer! A new 100 years war!
      This time with Nuclear SSBNs...
      Just don't burn Carla Bruni, please.

      Obligatory quote: "Once more, we play our dangerous game, a game of chess against our old adversary - The American Navy. For forty years, your fathers before you and your older brothers played this game and played it well. But today the game is different. We have the advantage."

      In our case change American to French or British, depending of your allegiance: Plantagenet or Valois...

    10. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ?

      100% apparently

    11. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No one was being a smartass. This is completely different from US v. USSR. There are 2 types of submarines - hiders (SSBN/missile subs) and seekers (SSN/attack subs). The SSBNs want to be as far away as possible from any other ship and launch their missiles when necessary, not trying to find another sub. SSNs want to find the SSBNs and covertly stalk them so they can sink them if necessary. The SSBNs have to be wary of being stalked and will make evasive maneuvers and check out suspicious sounds. The chances of a collision between a US v USSR/SSBN v SSN was much higher because the SSNs were trying to get close. My guess is that the two SSBNs happened to get close enough that one or both were able to detect something suspicious, and then accidentally collided while taking maneuvers to confirm the presence of another sub or escape.

    12. Re:Odds ? by nospam007 · · Score: 1

      What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ?

      The french have 10 subs, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Navy

      The Brits 13. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Navy

      So 2 of them collide in a 3 dimensional environment with 41,105,000 square miles, or 21% of the earth.

      What are the odds of that being a random event, dear math geeks?

    13. Re:Odds ? by Antique+Geekmeister · · Score: 4, Interesting

      "The middle of the Atlantic OCean" is a big place. However, "that maneuverable spot between the underwater mountains that shield you from sonar and doesn't have any currents that will smack you into rocks" is not perhaps such a big place, and it's less surprising that such places might be more frequented by submarines playing hide and seek.

      In fact, it makes me wonder if _both_ subs were hiding from a Russian vessel nearby and pulled the same tricks of concealment.

    14. Re:Odds ? by Ihlosi · · Score: 1
      What are the odds of that being a random event, dear math geeks?

      Pretty low. Maybe both subs were using the same software to plan their routes and find the quietest spots?

      "If you don't want to be found, go there." *CRUNCH*

    15. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > 0
      remember, its not impossible. It will happen [again] eventually

    16. Re:Odds ? by ILongForDarkness · · Score: 1

      That was my thought. One captain decides to be smart and goes quite in the other subs baffles. Then, they are a little slow realizing that the other sub is stopping and rear ends it. Submariners are the fighter pilots of the navy, similar cockiness. You got to be when you are expected to cruise into the middle of a fleet and take out a few ships and sneak away, or go a couple hundred km from the enemies shore and launch missiles. If you weren't you wouldn't be able to sleep.

    17. Re:Odds ? by hal9000(jr) · · Score: 1

      There are many commonly known ones. Some even made it into 688(I) Hunter/Killer. There were a few scenarios where you had to hunt a corridor. Pretty cool stuff.

    18. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Thanks for recapping "The Hunt for Red October" since no one ever saw that movie. Good for a +5 informative though, right whore?

    19. Re:Odds ? by DavoMan · · Score: 1

      Haaaaaa! :)

      --
      Whats the harm in yelling 'Computer, end program!'? You could be living in Star Trek! Go on.. give it a try.
    20. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Informative

      Russians used to do what were called "Crazy Ivans."

      Yes, we all saw The Hunt for Red October.

    21. Re:Odds ? by SharpFang · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The odds are quite good, because the subs don't cruise the ocean at random.

      Even the best stealth technology won't help much in clear, open, stagnant sea. It's the background noise you hide in.
      The borders of oceanic currents of various temperature and salination water create zones that neatly reflect noises, create quite a bit of background noise themselves, and in short, for a submarine, are what a bunch of seaweed is to a fish - a great place to hide in. Plus they often run for many, many miles along the currents, providing safe, invisible paths for the submarines to travel - sometimes quite narrow though.

      So while collision right in the middle of nowhere would be against cosmic odds, a chance of collision on such a path is quite high - both subs are there because this is a good hiding spot, they are -very- invisible to each other, and both stay in the same relatively narrow zone. They may even travel in opposite directions.

      --
      45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
    22. Re:Odds ? by juan2074 · · Score: 1

      It was pretty much the same thing with spies. Cold War spies had more in common through their clandestine or counter-intelligence work, at times forming strange bonds that transcended nationalism.

      If you love these kind of Cold War cat-and-mouse games, I highly recommend Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. It won't have the same kind of action as The Hunt for Red October, but Alec Guinness is great.

    23. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That actually never happened, the lead sub just needed to deploy it's towed hydrophones and it could hear all around it.

    24. Re:Odds ? by wosmo · · Score: 2, Interesting

      It's a lot more 2D than you'd assume. To maintain any kind of launch readiness, you want to spend most your time as close as possible/comfortable to hover/launch depth. A few sane points that are being completely missed here, are that "playing games" with each other is the job of attack boats, not bombers - and the English Channel, separating England and France, and home to atleast one of the Royal Navy's principle ports (however, not home to the clyde submarine base nor relevant RNAD), happens to be relatively shallow, and one of the busiest seaways in the world. It is a shame tho. They finally managed to stop the acoustic tiles from falling off the the Vanguard class, and now they keep playing contact sports just to foul them up again.

    25. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Have they done any Crazy Sarkozys?

      Or was it us? Did we do any Crazy George Bushes?

      (side note: compare the faces of Alec Baldwin then and now. The wonders of human aging..)

    26. Re:Odds ? by hal9000(jr) · · Score: 2

      Good for you junior. I lived it. sheesh. Is anyone over 20 on /. any more?

    27. Re:Odds ? by symbolset · · Score: 1

      In 1903 there were only two cars in all of Ohio. They collided.

      --
      Help stamp out iliturcy.
    28. Re:Odds ? by Killjoy_NL · · Score: 1

      29 here :)

      --
      This is the sig that says NI (again)
    29. Re:Odds ? by iluvcapra · · Score: 1

      People who are today 19 years old weren't born when Hunt came out in theaters.

      Yes I feel old too.

      --
      Don't blame me, I voted for Baltar.
    30. Re:Odds ? by Registered+Coward+v2 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Indeed, Sherry Sontag's Blind Man's Bluff tells a lot of interesting stories about Russian-American submarine escapades during the Cold War. Sometimes our Navies seemed less like proud defenders of the motherland and more like dumbass high school kids playing chicken.

      Yea, but it was fun and you got paid for it.

      --
      I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
    31. Re:Odds ? by mpyne · · Score: 1

      What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally?

      The odds are apparently pretty low given that to my knowledge this is the first time a British SSBN has collided with a French SSBN in 30-40 years of strategic deterrent patrols.

      Keep in mind the "vast ocean" you speak of is limited to the area that the British and French would choose to have their SSBNs patrolling in. It's not like the Capt. just steers a random course for a couple of days and then hunkers down. Given the proximity of France to Britain I wouldn't be surprised if the two nations had patrol areas close to or even intersecting with each other.

    32. Re:Odds ? by FooGoo · · Score: 1

      Jesus Christ i'll be 37 this year....thanks dude

      --
      People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them
    33. Re:Odds ? by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

      Thats not so silly. With navigation being so precise these days there is a tendency to want to stay exactly on a planned route. If you have GPS and Inertial navigation maybe two crews would follow a particular line of latitude or longitude because we like following things and collide as a result.

      Years ago I was in an airliner flying over Indonesia. Looking straight down at some spectacular scenery I caught a glimpse of another aircraft going the other way about 5000 feet below us. A pilot I spoke to says he always flys a few miles offset from the route he is given for this reason. It really is possible for our desire for a nice round number and nice clean trajectory to cause a collision.

    34. Re:Odds ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They were actually playing chicken!

  11. It's not called the Silent Service for nothing. by Camaro · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It's my understanding subs tend to listen for what's out there because using one's own sonar would broadcast your own position to the enemy. If both these subs were running in this way I can see how a collision would occur. It's happened before and is bound to happen again.

    1. Re:It's not called the Silent Service for nothing. by JJJK · · Score: 1

      So... in other words these are two very successful subs and they just proved that they were doing exactly what they were supposed to do by banging into each other. I think I like that idea.

  12. Thank god for BBC by Goffee71 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Otherwise we would not know that submarines have been equipped with Sonar (well, ASDIC at least) since the 1940s. Of course, they might have mentioned that boomers try to sneak around quietly without having Sonar disco parties. Still, no dolphins were murdered in the making of this accident!

    --
    If he's the Walrus then can I be a penguin please?
    1. Re:Thank god for BBC by Mascot · · Score: 0

      no dolphins were murdered in the making of this accident!

      Indeed. Though I don't personally think submarines should swerve to avoid dolphins, they followed proper Greenpeace etiquette. A dolphin's life is worth more than a million subs!

  13. Despite each being equipped with sonar? by drinkypoo · · Score: 5, Insightful

    That was the most retarded thing that could possibly have been added to that summary. You don't use active sonar unless you want to be found. Passive sonar won't find everything. It's entirely possible that both subs detected each other, both went silent, and both coasted right into one another. The FA is hilarious though:

    Lib Dem defence spokesman Nick Harvey has called for an immediate internal inquiry with some of the conclusions made public.

    "While the British nuclear fleet has a good safety record, if there were ever to be a bang it would be a mighty big one," he said.

    No, Nick. It wouldn't be, because nuclear weapons have to be detonated. A lot of careful work goes into making sure they don't go off accidentally. If two subs crash hard enough to destroy them, there will be a lot of bubbles, and dead crewmen.

    Meanwhile, SNP Westminster leader Angus Robertson has called for a government statement.

    "The Ministry of Defence needs to explain how it is possible for a submarine carrying weapons of mass destruction to collide with another submarine carrying weapons of mass destruction in the middle of the world's second-largest ocean," he said.

    Well, (Colonel?) Angus, it's called physics. See, two objects with mass cannot occupy the same space...

    The Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament described the collision as "a nuclear nightmare of the highest order".

    CND chair Kate Hudson said: "The collision of two submarines, both with nuclear reactors and nuclear weapons onboard, could have released vast amounts of radiation and scattered scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed."

    No, a nuclear nightmare of the highest order is scores of terrorists running around with suitcase nukes. (you know, like the USA)

    The collision of two submarines would actually be unlikely to release vast amounts of radiation, although it could scatter scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed. This is actually enormously unlikely since the weapons are stored in the most structurally secure portion of the vessel, in their own launch tubes. Most likely they would stay in the tubes in all but the most severe impact. Remember, submarines are not made out of porcelain. They are made out of various metals and in a collision (as opposed to an explosion) they would not likely separate into many pieces. Just think of the physics involved - when two cars collide head-on at over 50 mph they do not typically disintegrate. The total energy is vastly higher here, but the relative speed is much slower, and a lot of the energy involved will be absorbed by the water in the way that air doesn't.

    I'm as put off by the fact of WWIII in a can being writ across our oceans many times over as the next guy, but I prefer to skip the bullshit rhetoric. I guess that's why I'm not a politician.

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    1. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by timeOday · · Score: 1

      I think your tone and your conclusions are way off. Paranoia is no way to deal with nuclear risks, but neither is being glib. Allies should not be crashing nuclear reactors into each other by accident. If extra precautions are necessary to prevent a recurrence, then they should at least be considered, even if there is some impact on e.g. the realism of training exercises. There is a history of nuclear warheads being lost due to crashed subs and bombers, and it's definitely something we want to avoid.

    2. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >Well, (Colonel?) Angus, it's called physics. See,
      >two objects with mass cannot occupy the same
      >space...

      This is what happens when you use ordinary materials for submarines. If they, for example, had been made entirely of fermions, and the British sub was spin up and the French sub was spin down than two (and only two) subs could occupy the same space. If, however, they had been made entirely of bosons, then an arbitrary number of them could occupy the same space without incident.

      We're just not sufficiently advanced, I guess, for safety...

    3. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by drinkypoo · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Allies should not be crashing nuclear reactors into each other by accident.

      Drivers should not be crashing containers of flammable liquids into each other by accident. Let's ban cars!

      If extra precautions are necessary to prevent a recurrence, then they should at least be considered, even if there is some impact on e.g. the realism of training exercises.

      You'd prefer they used unrealistic training exercises which will leave them unprepared in the event of an emergency?

      There is a history of nuclear warheads being lost due to crashed subs and bombers, and it's definitely something we want to avoid.

      While I agree in principle, in practice the only way to win is not to play.

      Until that day comes, we're going to have a need for stealth.

      In practice, the only people who can afford to retrieve nukes off the bottom of the ocean are people who already have them, so I'm not sure it's as serious a problem as you make it out to be.

      Anyway, like I said, the ONLY way to stop this from happening is to get rid of the nuke subs. The whole point of them is to avoid detection, so things like this WILL happen given a long enough timescale. Forget about the issue of joint training exercises, all first strike subs have the same purpose, so they will by definition be occupying similar spaces. Just like most mid-air collisions happen near airports, most mid-ocean collisions will happen where everyone else wants to be.

      We're not getting rid of the nuke subs or compromising their stealth, so if you want to get rid of nuke subs, work for world peace. Don't work on nuclear disarmament, because it's a misguided goal. Nuclear stockpiling is a symptom, not a disease.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    4. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Paranoia is no way to deal with nuclear risks, but neither is being glib.

      How about being imlib or gobject instead? Would that be better?

    5. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think your tone and your conclusions are way off. Paranoia is no way to deal with nuclear risks, but neither is being glib. Allies should not be crashing nuclear reactors into each other by accident. If extra precautions are necessary to prevent a recurrence, then they should at least be considered, even if there is some impact on e.g. the realism of training exercises. There is a history of nuclear warheads being lost due to crashed subs and bombers, and it's definitely something we want to avoid.

      So do we do away with stealth technology thats cost millions to develop, just so we don't have the occasional collision and then we are wide open to enemy attacks, just to keep the tree-huggers happy?

    6. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Yeah, but it's not like they were actually at war, right? There's no reason to use passive unless you're trying to sneak around, and unless I'm missing some huge piece of news, the UK and France aren't actively pelting each other with torpedoes at the moment.

    7. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Ihlosi · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yeah, but it's not like they were actually at war, right? There's no reason to use passive unless you're trying to sneak around,

      A SSBN that doesn't "sneak around" during peacetime survives exactly as long as it takes a torpedo to cross a few hundred meters once peacetime ends.

    8. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by SgtChaireBourne · · Score: 1

      Allies should not be crashing nuclear reactors into each other by accident.

      Drivers should not be crashing containers of flammable liquids into each other by accident. Let's ban cars!

      I realize the response was tongue-in-cheek, but automobiles account for some 41000 - 43000 deaths per year in the US. That's not counting any that were cripple, maimed, or otherwise injured for long or short term. Getting rid of the cars gets rid of that problem. We see the reduced traffic from the recession is reducing traffic deaths.

      In some areas, cars are the leading cause of death for some age groups. It's rather embarassing that folks in the US can live 2km from the city center and still have, for all practical purposes, no public transportation even during business hours. It's the daily commute and the party traffic where public transport pays off for public health. The former because of the sheer number of km travelled, the latter because about 1/3 of accidents are alcohol-related.

      Anyway, that's moot since most drivers don't go around with the windows boarded over, trying to sneak up on other cars, as would be the analogy for the subs.

      --
      Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
    9. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by R2.0 · · Score: 1

      Anyway, that's moot since most drivers don't go around with the windows boarded over, trying to sneak up on other cars, as would be the analogy for the subs.

      I see you've never driven in DC - with drivers on cell phones angling to get ahead of the other guy in traffic, I'd rather have Ray Charles in his Mercedes.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    10. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by R2.0 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Yeah, but it's not like they were actually at war, right? There's no reason to use passive unless you're trying to sneak around, and unless I'm missing some huge piece of news, the UK and France aren't actively pelting each other with torpedoes at the moment.

      That's the same logic that the DC government got spanked on with Heller - Since you only need a gun when your house is being invaded, and it is so dangerous otherwise, it should remain locked or inoperable until immediately needed. Of course, by the time the need is immediate, it's too late.

      And I thing the "Troll" mod on your comment is unfair. I believe your logic is faulty, but many, MANY people share it.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    11. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 4, Informative

      Ok, so I'm wrong, but that makes me a troll?

      Christ, all moderators are total idiots.
      ^- that's a troll.

    12. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by ravenshrike · · Score: 0, Troll

      I'm still confused by this France as allies bullshit. It would seem to me that the best way to win a war would be to get the French to join the other side and attempt to do something. Then, when they massively fuck up because their command structure sucks the big one and always has, you have the perfect opening to end the war.

    13. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Thelasko · · Score: 1

      The collision of two submarines would actually be unlikely to release vast amounts of radiation, although it could scatter scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed.

      As an added bonus, the sea water acts as a neutron moderator. Having nuclear weapons scattered across the ocean floor is perhaps the best place for them. It's the place they are least likely to do any harm.

      --
      One of our competitors trademarked the term "hypothesis". From now on, we will call them "boneheaded ideas".
    14. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      I realize the response was tongue-in-cheek, but automobiles account for some 41000 - 43000 deaths per year in the US. That's not counting any that were cripple, maimed, or otherwise injured for long or short term. Getting rid of the cars gets rid of that problem. We see the reduced traffic from the recession is reducing traffic deaths.

      Well, I don't think the solution is to ban all cars. I think the answer is to cease federal highway funding and spend it on rail (if anywhere) and to ban cars from cities. I propose a London-esque system, but with cars absolutely banned from city centers, and with nothing bigger than a golf cart rolling around except in emergencies or during construction.

      At that point we could have a meaningful discussion about extending the public transportation system further, but first I'd have to see some evidence that it can be workable in the USA. I believe that it can, but certainly the most sensible thing seems to be to tackle the low-hanging fruit first. As this is in population centers it has the potential to make a significant difference.

      I'm ready to give up my car as soon as it is practical. I live in the boonies though, so I'm not an early candidate. I am moving towards biodiesel-powered transport (I'm driving a 1982 W126 300SD now, they're damned cheap in the bay area... looking at a 4x4 F250 with a 7.3 with aftermarket turbo, IFS and Dana 60s on Wednesday - buy old, buy cheap) so I'm at least trying to cut my impact, and I do my best to avoid long car trips in any case. But what can I say? It's not like it's practical to go back to horses with all these cars on the road, even if they are free with trailers these days.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    15. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Andy+Dodd · · Score: 1

      If the enemy knows where you are during your peacetime submarine operations, they can make predictions as to how you might behave during wartime.

      --
      retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
    16. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Hellahulla · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Anyway, that's moot since most drivers don't go around with the windows boarded over, trying to sneak up on other cars, as would be the analogy for the subs.

      That would make for a hell of an extreme sport.

    17. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Simon+Brooke · · Score: 1

      The collision of two submarines would actually be unlikely to release vast amounts of radiation, although it could scatter scores of nuclear warheads across the seabed. This is actually enormously unlikely since the weapons are stored in the most structurally secure portion of the vessel, in their own launch tubes. Most likely they would stay in the tubes in all but the most severe impact. Remember, submarines are not made out of porcelain. They are made out of various metals and in a collision (as opposed to an explosion) they would not likely separate into many pieces. Just think of the physics involved - when two cars collide head-on at over 50 mph they do not typically disintegrate. The total energy is vastly higher here, but the relative speed is much slower, and a lot of the energy involved will be absorbed by the water in the way that air doesn't.

      (My emphasis.)

      Oh no it isn't. Both submarines (remarkably similar boats, actually) are publicly admitted to be capable of 25 knots (46.3 km/h) submerged, and are probably capable of a fair bit more. The masses, meantime, are huge. Probably most of the time these boats run at very much less than their maximum speed, but nevertheless a closing speed impact of 100 km/h is by no means impossible. Granted they're metal and will tend to bend and tear rather than shattering, with a combined mass of thirty thousand tons that's a pretty staggering amount of kinetic energy.

      While I agree it's unlikely that the nuclear weapons would actually detonate, the probability of the breach of containment of nuclear materials would be very high indeed.

      --
      I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.
    18. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Whenever there is a nuclear accident, politicians leak stupidity. Has anyone measured the half-life of their dumb statements on any one topic? It's possible that we could identify the isotope concerned.

    19. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ^- that's a troll.

      No, that's insightful.
      ^- and that's funny.

    20. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The real problem is not that they were carrying nuclear weapons. It is that they are carrying nuclear reactors!

    21. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by ginbot462 · · Score: 1

      No, he's just missing his eyes.

      :^-

      --
      Atlas Shrugged : Thematic Story :: Battlefield Earth : Organized Religion
    22. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Karem+Lore · · Score: 1
      Actually, nuclear weapons are not detonated, they need to be armed/activated.

      Detonated means that the weapon is fired at a given moment, like pressing a big red button. Nuclear Weapons are armed and then released...In fact, most land or sub based missiles are activated in-flight using a remote code that arms them so that if the missile goes widely of course (or heaven forbids turns in flight towards allies), the weapon can be "not activated". Not sure if you can deactivate one once it is activated though.

      --
      When all is said and done, nothing changes...
    23. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by FooGoo · · Score: 1

      Meanwhile, SNP Westminster leader Angus Robertson has called for a government statement.

      "The Ministry of Defence needs to explain how it is possible for a submarine carrying weapons of mass destruction to collide with another submarine carrying weapons of mass destruction in the middle of the world's second-largest ocean," he said.

      Give the guy a break he is usually judges the dog show and someone made him a colonel.

      --
      People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them
    24. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by WuphonsReach · · Score: 1

      While I agree it's unlikely that the nuclear weapons would actually detonate, the probability of the breach of containment of nuclear materials would be very high indeed.

      The reactor... maybe. It's pretty hard to tear through a few meters of hull along the long axis and then still have enough energy to rip apart anywhere from 1/2 meter to a full meter of that which encloses the reactor vessel. How often to car engine blocks shatter and turn into little pieces in accidents?

      The primary heat exchange portion with the radioactive steam? Sure. But the odds of breaching the reactor vessel itself? Not very high. Or not enough that it would end up as more then a single lump on the floor of the ocean. The majority of the fuel inside the reactor would still end up in a single place.

      Same thing with the ICBMs. The reentry vehicles are pretty tough little cones with the nuclear material packed inside an even smaller denser mass. It would be pretty tough to rip one of those apart, and even harder to turn that lump of plutonium or whatever into a dust cloud instead of a simple misshapen inert lump that falls to the ocean floor intact.

      And getting one to detonate? Let's assume that you did manage to set fire to one of the explosive blocks. Because you would not have managed a properly timed explosion all the way around, you would get at best a fizzle and more likely nothing more then the ignition of the explosive blocks. And the now misshapen lump of plutonium would simply fall to the bottom of the ocean without going off.

      --
      Wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?
    25. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Simon+Brooke · · Score: 1

      While I agree it's unlikely that the nuclear weapons would actually detonate, the probability of the breach of containment of nuclear materials would be very high indeed.

      The reactor... maybe. It's pretty hard to tear through a few meters of hull along the long axis and then still have enough energy to rip apart anywhere from 1/2 meter to a full meter of that which encloses the reactor vessel. How often to car engine blocks shatter and turn into little pieces in accidents?

      Let's reiterate the forces involved, shall we? thirty thousand tons, closing speed one hundred kilometers an hour. Yes, it's pretty hard to rip through a metre of steel. But thirty thousand tons at one hundred kilometers an hour is going to eat that for breakfast, and then start wondering what to have for lunch.

      Yes, the containment is very strong. But the forces we are talking about are very large.

      And getting one to detonate? Let's assume that you did manage to set fire to one of the explosive blocks. Because you would not have managed a properly timed explosion all the way around, you would get at best a fizzle and more likely nothing more then the ignition of the explosive blocks.

      As I said, unlikely.

      And the now misshapen lump of plutonium would simply fall to the bottom of the ocean without going off.

      Where it is unbelievably toxic, and mutates over time into other radioactive elements which are still more toxic. Sellafield has dumped more than a quarter of a ton of plutonium into the Irish sea over the past fifty years, under the impression that it would sink to the bottom and do no harm. It doesn't. It corrodes, disperses in the water, decays into americium, and is then precipitated out where salt water meets freshwater. Which is to say in river estuaries. Which is to say where people live (me included).

      So no, the warheads almost certainly would not go off. That does not make them safe.

      --
      I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.
    26. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by internettoughguy · · Score: 1

      perhaps civilians shouldn't violently "defend" themselves or their property, I would call that vigilantism. running and hiding is always the best option. this applies even more so to the use of firearms. As for nuclear submarines, in New Zealand, we would like to politely tell you to fuck off, for the reasons so described in TFA.

    27. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      Paranoia is no way to deal with nuclear risks, but neither is being glib.

      glib: Showing little thought, preparation, or concern
      cynical: Expressing jaded or scornful skepticism or negativity

      I am favoring the second word choice.

      Allies should not be crashing nuclear reactors into each other by accident.

      Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression that we don't keep very close tabs on the exact locations of our own subs, for security reasons. Much less advertise them to our allies.

      If extra precautions are necessary to prevent a recurrence, then they should at least be considered, even if there is some impact on e.g. the realism of training exercises.

      The only thing I want impairing realism in an exercise is a self-handicap on our listening ability. Which would make it harder to prevent collisions.

      There is a history of nuclear warheads being lost due to crashed subs and bombers, and it's definitely something we want to avoid.

      There is. But better passive sonar is a much better solution, if you ask me.

    28. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      Well, they want to be our friends, and I feel compelled to oblige them after that little incident in the 1700's.

    29. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      ^- that's a troll.

      Care to elaborate? You said something stupid, and he very sarcastically corrected you on it. How is that trolling? At worst, it is flamebait to someone that has a short fuse.

    30. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by YrWrstNtmr · · Score: 1

      I'm ready to give up my car as soon as it is practical. I live in the boonies though, so I'm not an early candidate.

      Thats the ticket! Everybody give up your cars! (Except me)

    31. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I wonder if this is modded +5 informative because of this

      Christ, all moderators are total idiots.

      or this

      ^- that's a troll.

    32. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by totally+bogus+dude · · Score: 1

      Pretty sure they were pointing out that their statement "all moderators are total idiots" was a troll. They weren't claiming the post they were replying to was.

    33. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by totally+bogus+dude · · Score: 1

      The chances of a high-speed submarine collision are very remote. Submarines generally don't operate at high speed, because a) it creates a lot of noise making them easier to detect and b) it deafens their own sensors. It's very unlikely a submarine would fail to notice another one that's operating at 20+ knots; even if it itself was moving at speed. So while the forces involved in such a scenario would indeed be phenomenal, a high speed collision is phenomenally unlikely. It would require either a severe equipment malfunction, or a reckless disregard for basic common sense as well as procedure on the part of both commanding officers.

    34. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by nkrgovic · · Score: 1

      No, a nuclear nightmare of the highest order is scores of terrorists running around with suitcase nukes. (you know, like the USA)

      Somehow I was under the impression that nuclear war was a nightmare of a higher order then terrorists...

      Maybe you're just too terrified of terrorists ?

    35. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by cbhacking · · Score: 1

      It's not just the UK and France, though. The ocean is a big place, there are lots of countries with navies, and some of them aren't neccessarily people we want being able to track our mobile nuclear arsenals. Active sonar can be heard a LONG way (further than the originating sub can get any meaningful echo from it, in fact, meaning that you can releave your position to somebody without ever knowing that said somebody is there). There's also no way to be absolutely sure that another sub belongs to an ally - usually its safer to assume not.

      --
      There's no place I could be, since I've found Serenity...
    36. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Thats the ticket! Everybody give up your cars! (Except me)

      Your comment was probably intended to be humorous, but just in case you are actually an idiot, I should mention that it should go without saying that changes don't tend to happen all-at-once and attempts to make them do so are almost universally misguided and guaranteed to fail.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    37. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by R2.0 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yes, that's the "must retreat" doctrine that has worked it's way into state laws. The problem is this: if you must retreat to somewhere safe, to where does one retreat when in your own home? English common law has recognized that "a man's home is his castle" for close to 1000 years; the home IS the retreat of last resort.

      Under your theory, if someone breaks down my door I would need to run out of the house, which leaves me with even LESS protection, or submit to whatever gets inflicted under threat of violence. I mean, sure, the police will show up eventually, but that really doesn't do me a lot of good if I'm dead and my wife raped, or vice-versa.

      Remember, even in "Ringworld" Nessus eventually defended himself.

      BTW, can I have your address? I have some friends in NZ that need some stuff and, since you are offering...

      As for NZ being "nuclear free", bfd. Aside from the production of tasty lamb chops, your country has nothing to offer the world, and has 3 great big countries (US, UK, AUS) that will defend them. You're like that brat in school who irritates everybody, even his big brother, but when someone wants to teach him a lesson he goes squealing back to that same bug brother begging for protection.

      And finally, ALL civilians in modern countries defend themselves and their belongings with violence - they simply hire others (police/bodyguards) to do it for them.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    38. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by internettoughguy · · Score: 1

      Actually we declared war on the Nazis 6 hours before Britain did, we hide behind no one. Here security/bodyguards that are not members of the police or military (ie hired by a private citizen or a corporation), are not allowed to respond with violence either. that is the job of the police, and under very dire circumstances the military. The police force are not hired by ME or any other civilian they are hired by our government to perform the will of the law, not the will of an individual or a corporation. Please invite your friend around, and if he comes armed, he will most likely be in for a long time behind bars. I know you probably have some Ramboesque fantasies about saving your voluptuous wife from some Mexican marauders with that AR15 stashed under your bed, but it is just a fantasy.

    39. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by R2.0 · · Score: 1

      Your self righteousness is astounding.

      WWII was over 50 years ago, well before NZ declared itself a nuclear free zone.

      If bodyguards aren't allowed to respond with violence, what the hell do they do? If a crazed fan decides that she simply MUST get close to Russel Crowe, will his bodyguards not stop her physically? Is that not violence.

      As for the police, I wasn't aware that NZ was a monarchy, because only then would a citizen be absolved of the actions of the police. In a democracy, you're not so lucky - the people elect those that make laws and pay the people that enforce the laws. With violence or threat of violence.

      As for my friends, they wouldn't need a gun, because all they would need to do cut your phone line, open your door, and start taking stuff. What are you going to do to stop them?

      Nice ad hominem at the end, BTW. Actually it's not my "fantasy", but my nightmare. There IS crime in my area. There have been a rash of armed home invasions lately. The homeowners wound up dead because the robbers decided to kill them - they didn't offer any resistance. I'm glad NZ is so violence free (although I'd bet you'd say differently if you lived in certain parts of your cities), but for the rest of us, the need and right of self defense, armed or not, is older than any civilization.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    40. Re:Despite each being equipped with sonar? by internettoughguy · · Score: 1

      perhaps i was being self-righteous, but as for NZ foreign policy, there has never been a threat to NZ soil, so all of or military might (or lack thereof) has been directed at helping our allies. I personally think our Anti-Nuclear stance is a little restrictive, i would love to see all the coal-fired power plants replaced with nuclear ones, to reduce greenhouse output. But the policy of mutually assured destruction, is fucking ridiculous. i don't think that any tax dollars, should be spent on nuclear submarines, because i don't think anyone should use them. the only reason countries like Iran and North Korea are developing nuclear arms, is to catch up with the west. yea unprovoked attacks like the one you mentioned are few and far between here, but one of my neighbors was stabbed to death out of a case of mistaken identity - the attacker thought he was a rival drug dealer. He was actually only four houses down, pretty dodgy stuff. but without wearing a stab proof vest 24/7, the only protection against chance attack like that is an improbability drive. one of the worst attacks in recent memory was on a 14 yo boy, who was stabbed to death by a businessman, who was "protecting his property" after he caught him spray-painting his garage. because the judge has your mentality, that man got only 4 years (http://www.scoop.co.nz/multimedia/tv/national/18436.html) can i ask you this- how would you respond to finding a burglar in your house? what i'm saying, is that i am not trying to be arrogant, or morally superior, its just that i can think of to few situations where both:. A) the response is warranted by the crime B) a response would be effective. For me if i found that burglar and decided to attack him/her, chances are he is bigger than me, so i would have to arm myself to stand a chance. this would mean escalating the situation. so i grab a knife/baseball bat/spoon and let into him, probably killing him, resulting in the manslaughter of a man, who if i called the oinkers would got about 3 years behind bars, and been able to get on with his life - for better or worse afterwards. he would have got the democratically decided sentence (in an ideal world). actually New Zealand kind of is a monarchy, but thats a different story altogether.

  14. Well, duh. by bmo · · Score: 4, Interesting

    FTFA

    "The Ministry of Defence needs to explain how it is possible for a submarine carrying weapons of mass destruction to collide with another submarine carrying weapons of mass destruction in the middle of the world's second-largest ocean," he said.

    See the statement above...

    Nuclear engineer John Large (braggart) told the BBC that navies often used the same "nesting grounds".

    "Both navies want quiet areas, deep areas, roughly the same distance from their home ports. So you find these station grounds have got quite a few submarines, not only French and Royal Navy but also from Russia and the United States."

    It doesn't matter if the parking lot is large, but if the situation is as if Sony is giving away flatscreen televisions, maybe the respective Defense Departments need to find other parking lots.

    Ya think?

    1. Re:Well, duh. by Goffee71 · · Score: 1

      Maybe they were opening a new Ikea nearby, that fills up parking lots pretty quick

      --
      If he's the Walrus then can I be a penguin please?
    2. Re:Well, duh. by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 1

      It doesn't matter if the parking lot is large, but if the situation is as if Sony is giving away flatscreen televisions, maybe the respective Defense Departments need to find other parking lots.

      So, who's gonna ticket them if they don't?

    3. Re:Well, duh. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Cool, so like, subs from every country all go and hang out in a sub-parking lot?

      Sounds like the bogans near my place.

  15. bound to happen by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, this was bound to happen. I hear things are getting pretty cramped down there in the ocean.

    --
    This guy's the limit!
    1. Re:bound to happen by Xtravar · · Score: 1

      They were both trying to beat each other to mapping that particular area of ocean for Google.

      You see, Google Maps announced that it will map the ocean floor. In order to do this, they just pay a small fee for each (new) square nautical mile of photographs they receive. Much like they did with people getting business information/photographs a while back.

      Due to the recent recession, Britain and France are looking for additional income. So they ordered their nuclear subs to do freelance mapping for Google.

      Follow?

      --
      Buckle your ROFL belt, we're in for some LOLs.
    2. Re:bound to happen by metallic · · Score: 1

      This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.

      --
      Karma: Positive. Mostly effected by cowbell.
  16. look at the bright side of the story, by Adult+film+producer · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    The french didn't surrender !

    1. Re:look at the bright side of the story, by Hal_Porter · · Score: 1

      Yeah but look

      HMS VANGUARD
      Launched in 1992
      One of four British submarines carrying Trident nuclear missiles
      Displacement (submerged) 16,000 tonnes, 150m (492ft) long
      Can carry 48 nuclear warheads on a maximum of 16 missiles
      A two-year refit was completed in 2007 as part of a £5bn contract
      Maximum submerged speed of 25 knots
      Due to be replaced in 2024

      LE TRIOMPHANT
      Launched in 1994
      One of four French ballistic missile nuclear-powered submarines (SSBN)
      Displacement (submerged) 14,000 tonnes, 138m (452ft) long
      Can carry 16 ballistic missiles with nuclear warheads
      110 crew, including 15 officers
      Submerged speed over 25 knots

      Our subs were lauched first and are bigger and longer. In your face, snail eaters.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    2. Re:look at the bright side of the story, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Besides, what would the British do with France? You can't deport the French, no other country would take them.

    3. Re:look at the bright side of the story, by DavoMan · · Score: 1

      Ya missing some facts there don't ya think?

      --
      Whats the harm in yelling 'Computer, end program!'? You could be living in Star Trek! Go on.. give it a try.
    4. Re:look at the bright side of the story, by Hal_Porter · · Score: 1

      Ya missing some facts there don't ya think?

      What like how we won the Battle of Agincourt on St Crispin's Day in 1415? Or how Shakespeare wrote this wonderful speech about it

      This day is called the Feast of Crispian:
      He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
      Will stand a-tiptoe when the day is named,
      And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
      He that shall see this day and live t'old age,
      Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
      And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian":
      Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars
      And say "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
      Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
      But he'll remember with advantages
      What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
      Familiar in his mouth as household words
      Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
      Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
      Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.
      This story shall the good man teach his son;
      And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
      From this day to the ending of the world,
      But we in it shall be remembered;
      We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
      For he today that sheds his blood with me
      Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
      This day shall gentle his condition:
      And gentlemen in England now abed
      Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
      And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
      That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. (IV, iii)

      Or how we invented the computer, Doctor Who, VX Nervegas, Concentration Camps, Strategic Bombing and being a sinister closet case villain in the colonies?

      England! Well said, my good man.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
  17. Same side by jbeaupre · · Score: 5, Insightful

    A head on collision was bound to happen even if they knew the other sub was there. The French drive on the right, the British on the left.

    --
    The world is made by those who show up for the job.
    1. Re:Same side by R2.0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      "A head on collision was bound to happen even if they knew the other sub was there. The French drive on the right, the British on the left."

      What retard modded this Insightful? Funny, sure. Even Redundant. But FFS, Insightful?

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
    2. Re:Same side by jbeaupre · · Score: 1

      Beats me. It was meant to be tongue in cheek humor. They are submarines and there is no way to see port and starboard lights while submerged, much less know the other guy has them reversed.

      --
      The world is made by those who show up for the job.
    3. Re:Same side by xant · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's just like that one place in the chunnel where all the English have to suddenly veer over to the right to keep from hitting the French, and vice-versa. Lots of accidents there.

      --
      It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
    4. Re:Same side by Anynomous+Coward · · Score: 1

      The French drive on the right side, the British on the wrong side.
      There, FTFY.

      --
      I'm not a coward by any name.
    5. Re:Same side by gknoy · · Score: 1

      "A head on collision was bound to happen even if they knew the other sub was there. The French drive on the right, the British on the left."
      What retard modded this Insightful? Funny, sure. Even Redundant. But FFS, Insightful?

      I'd say interesting, though perhaps not insightful. Still, think about your initial "oh shit, get out of the way!" reaction. As a US driver, my initial instinct would be to veer towards the right, towards "my" side of the road. If the oncoming driver were from someplace where drivers drove on the left side of a road, their first reaction might be to veer to their left -- with a crash being an unsurprising result. Now, granted, this is about submarines and not cars. They surely have training which dictates how to avoid a collision. However, it is remotely possible that the first perception of a "safe" direction would be mirrored for the two captains.

      I think that the likelihood of events is (in decreasing order):

      - neither sub noticed the other
      - one sub saw the other, and didn't want to betray it's position, assuming that the other would turn away.
      - neither sub wanted to let the other know that they were detected, and thus neither turned
      - both subs turned, but happened to turn in the same direction.

      It's possible, but ... just seems damned unlikely, to me. (Then again, endangering your ship in order to prevent detection capabilities to be known sounds ... foolish. Or ballsy. Then again, sub skippers have to be particularly daring, so it wouldn't surprise me much.)

    6. Re:Same side by Simon+Brooke · · Score: 1

      A head on collision was bound to happen even if they knew the other sub was there. The French drive on the right, the British on the left.

      Good for a laugh, but inaccurate. 'Vessels navigating narrow passages shall pass to starboard of one another...' - in other words, the British also drive on the right.

      --
      I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.
    7. Re:Same side by jbeaupre · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but they are submarines. How are they going to see each other's starboard running lights? Just kidding. I grew up sailing, so you actually caught the joke better than most.

      --
      The world is made by those who show up for the job.
    8. Re:Same side by PitaBred · · Score: 1

      Actually, maritime rules are pretty much universal around the world specifically to prevent that kind of situation.

      Does nobody on Slashdot own a boat? Why in the hell is this modded insightful? It'd be more insightful to say "They collided because the French sub was attempting to surrender, but couldn't figure out how to raise the white flag underwater"

    9. Re:Same side by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you left out the important ingredient: both are arrogant bastards who refuse to give way to anyone else.

    10. Re:Same side by siwelwerd · · Score: 1

      What retard modded this Insightful? Funny, sure. Even Redundant. But FFS, Insightful?

      Funny doesn't contribute to karma, so it's common for mods to instead use Insightful, Interesting, or Informative. I usually use whichever is funniest in the context of the post.

      Now why is this modded funny? It's downright informative, interesting, or even insightful.

    11. Re:Same side by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

      I work for a French company in Australia and collisions like this are common in our office environment.

    12. Re:Same side by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And I just finished off my mod points upthread!

    13. Re:Same side by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Huh? According to Wikipedia, the chunnel only carries rail traffic.

    14. Re:Same side by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Interestingly, comments like yours are getting modded UP lately, whereas they used to always get modded Offtopic. I know, I've made an awful lot of them ever since I asked the same question. Perhaps it is once again time to broach the subject of Funny mods to the Taco? Then again, the system is mostly working due to or in spite of the karma kap. Lose some karma points? Unless you're dumb (lots of dumb slashdotters, but whatever) you'll have them back again in a jiffy.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    15. Re:Same side by R2.0 · · Score: 1

      The first problem is that subs don't operate at the speeds cars do, and don't react to directional input the way cars do - if one is in command of a sub and you suddenly realize there's an obstacle 500 yards away, the proper command is "Brace for Impact!" not "Full Rudder Right (or left)" (and to the sub geeks out there, I know that's not the correct terminology. Just work with me a minute)

      The second problem is that the rules for navigating ships at sea were established hundreds of years before cars even existed, and all seafaring nations follow them. A sea captain doesn't just "decide" which way he will evade an oncoming ship.

      As for sub skippers being "daring", yes and no. Attack sub captains need to take greater and greater risks and get closer and closer to the subs they are trailing. But ballistic missile sub captains goal is the opposite - hide, look like the surroundings, blend in, and don't do stupid things that make noise.

      Think of the "Dance of the Hours" piece from the original Fantasia, but with the hippos being remarkably better at hiding from the crocodiles.

      --
      "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
  18. Conficker by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My money's on conficker. That's what you get, when you run windows on your nuclear submarines!

    1. Re:Conficker by DavoMan · · Score: 1
      --
      Whats the harm in yelling 'Computer, end program!'? You could be living in Star Trek! Go on.. give it a try.
  19. Using Windows..? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Aren't the French and British navy both using MS Windows now..? Just noticing some recent trouble with the French Air-force related to this... Perhaps they mistook the "sonar screensaver" for the real thing..?

    1. Re:Using Windows..? by grege1 · · Score: 1

      Probably got a virus and a BSOD, luckily one of the sailors had a GNU/Linux bootable CD so they could find their way home.

  20. All i am going to say is: by Rusty+pipe · · Score: 1

    Just one ping!

    We brake for nobody.

  21. I'm an oldfag breaking rules 1&2 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you can't triforce and you havent been butthurt by boxxybabee visit /b/ today and say Raul654 from Wikipedia sent you! /b/

  22. Shouldn't that be... by denzacar · · Score: 1

    Crazy Jean or Jon?

    Depending on who was doing the actual maneuvering?

    --
    Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
    1. Re:Shouldn't that be... by jra · · Score: 1

      I was thinking Crazy Pierre, myself.

  23. Bright Thinking by ledow · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The bit I find hilarious about every showing of this story that I've seen on the net, is that everyone says "How can this have happened?"

    Do *you* want to tell the French where all our nuclear subs are at any moment in time?
    Do the French want to tell us where all their nuclear subs are at any moment in time?
    Do *you* want to be in a country where all our nuclear subs light up the sonar of any passing ship like a Christmas tree?

    No. Therefore, it's an INCREDIBLE show of the power of the anti-detection capabilities of these subs that they BOTH manouvered close enough to each other to collide without EITHER of them detecting the other. That's bloody fantastic. A technology used by the military that actually works in production and has an incredibly relevant use.

    As to what happens in a collision... if ANY country in the world truly has nuclear weapons that can be set off without being ARMED first, then we have a bigger problem than what happens if two tiny ships in a vast, three-dimensional ocean might happen to accidentally collide. These things NEED to withstand just about anything, or else the enemy just fires one shot in the right place and "Blam!"... nuclear detonation without ever having owned a nuclear weapon.

    Similarly for the onboard reactor. Nuclear subs are not fragile, and their designers not stupid (as has been proved by the anti-sonar technology!)... if a sub is really that easy to sink / destroy and leak radiation enough to matter, then they become nothing more than timebombs. When they next dock for repairs etc. (which cannot really be hidden from satellites, etc.), just blow them up and you've set off a nuclear warhead / contaminated the seas inside your enemies own country.

    1. Re:Bright Thinking by funkatron · · Score: 1

      Do *you* want to tell the French where all our nuclear subs are at any moment in time?

      That depends on how much the French would pay for the information

      --
      "Welcome to our world. We are the wasted youth. And we are the future too." Yes, I know these are stupid lyrics.
    2. Re:Bright Thinking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think people want an explanation for the collision surmounting huge odds of occuring at random, not concerning detection/anti-detection capabilities.

      In computing, if someone shows you an MD5 collision. Your reaction is that "MD5 had no collision avoidance built-in, what did you expect?" Well I still expect to see no collision in my lifetime, so if I see one, there must be an explanation, such as a weakness in the algorithm.

      In the submarine case one explanation could be hide-and-seek games.

    3. Re:Bright Thinking by ledow · · Score: 1

      "surmounting huge odds of occuring at random"

      Please explain how you account for a random process surmounting "huge odds" while completely discounting "randomness". Just because there are "huge odds" against it (how huge exactly? How many submerged vessels, in how much ocean, travelling at what speed, for how many years... I'm a maths graduate and I wouldn't like to THINK how complicated the maths behind that could get and I would probably put down money, after a back-of-the-envelope calculation, that it was almost inevitable to have happened within the operational lifespan of a modern sub. Humans are *TERRIBLE* at judging probability... the birthday problem is an example of this) doesn't mean that it's not likely AT SOME POINT, or GIVEN ENOUGH TIME, or even IF THERE ARE A LOT OF SUBS.

      Even if the odds ARE huge. So what? Things like that happen. You can't say "we demand an explanation of why the one meterorite that hit Earth the other week landed on top of a nice old lady". The odds are huge but that doesn't mean it's impossible, avoidable, or anything else. What you're suggesting is the equivalent of launching a full-scale investigation based on zero evidence (it wasn't your meteorite, or your granny) with the prejudicial aim of fitting a meteor shield to all old ladies.

      The fact is that we have NO idea what happened (which is why the story is a month late), nor will we ever unless the relevant governments decide to declassify it. Even if they were following each other and playing some harmless wargames, so what? That is what they are SUPPOSED to do. I want troops onboard that vessel that CAN follow a French sub for miles without being detected even though France is their ally - it's the sort of thing that you do to boost morale, practice skills and show other countries what you are capable of should they get on your bad side... sneak up behind them and then when they are least suspecting it, give them a loud sonar ping to stir them up a bit.

      Some countries won't even tell you how many nuclear subs they actually have, it's such a secret matter. You think that a press campaign based on "these two controlled objects which were both indetectable to each other and probably flying blind and were both moving in roughly the same place collided, so we need to know everything and fit all our nuclear subs with bumpers and flashing lights to prevent a repeat" is going to do ANYTHING?

      It's been blown out of all proportion. I don't see anybody complaining about the ex-Russian satellite that obliterated another nation's satellite last week. Maybe we should launch a full-scale investigation on that in a kangaroo court too. It's almost certain that there was nuclear material on both satellites.

      Humans do not percieve risk correctly. The subs were relatively unharmed, in fact probably MILES fom being harmed (it would have to be a ten times faster collision, or similar to pose any risk most probably), there was an extremely low risk of anything rupturing to the point that they would sink. If either of them DID sink, it's more likely the war that starts over the political aspects of the sinking kills more people than would EVER be killed by all the nuclear weapons on board both ships (taken over the course of their entire lifetime). If they sank and the weapons spilled - they are allies - they know exactly what that means... back off, apologise, offer assistance in their rescue and don't do ANYTHING that might look like you were trying to steal the weapons. Seal off the area, perform a bog-standard recovery and get on with life. Nothing is going to go boom.

      Minor incident, happened before, blown out of all proportion, tabloid headline, ARGH END OF WORLD!, knee-jerk reactions to put in place things that can't POSSIBLY stop anything similar happening in the future.

    4. Re:Bright Thinking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually my answer to your 3 Q's were all 'YES'

    5. Re:Bright Thinking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >Therefore, it's an INCREDIBLE show of the power of
      >the anti-detection capabilities

      Or not :
      http://www.informationweek.com/news/security/government/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=213401886

      http://tech.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09%2F01%2F16%2F0135232

    6. Re:Bright Thinking by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Just to bolster your point, the US Navy claims that in all their years of operation they have never lost a PWM or had one rupture. There is no evidence to the contrary.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  24. Dang! by dov_0 · · Score: 1

    Ships are supposed to pass in the night!

    They must be pretty silent though... Red October eat your heart out.?

    --
    sudo mount --milk --sugar /cup/tea /mouth /etc/init.d/relax start
  25. Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to play by flajann · · Score: 0, Redundant
    Nuclear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to play with their little toys. Except these "little toys" each have the capacity to take out many cities, and Nuclear Bombs are indiscriminate little killers.

    From a technological standpoint, I find it rather amusing that the anti-sonar systems on both subs, according to the article, worked "a little too well." Well, duh -- they did as their engineers designed them to do.

    Except, one thing puzzles me -- if your Sonar is switched on, the other sub should pick that up. So the sonar systems of both subs must've been running quiet. So the anti-sonar systems have nothing to do with the collision. So why does the article mentions them? Did I miss something?

    Must be the reporters. They can never seem to get the story right; nor do they seem able to catch the obvious flaws in what they report.

    In short: they're just as incompetent as the Big Boys...

    Gee, I feel so much safer now...

  26. Cold war icon collision series entries, please by Bearhouse · · Score: 1

    So, we've had a US vs. Russian sat, now a UK vs. French ICBM sub, what are the next cold war icons scheduled to collide?

    1. Re:Cold war icon collision series entries, please by nschubach · · Score: 1

      Not necessarily cold war icons, but if you draw inverse lines back to conflicts of the past involving the same countries, I believe China is next to collide with themselves fighting over dynasties.

      Cold War / Anglo-French Wars / Warring States of China

      --
      Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
    2. Re:Cold war icon collision series entries, please by OldCrasher · · Score: 1

      Cold War? Heck this goes back a bit further than that.
      They haven't forgiven us for Agincort, or Joan of Arc. And we haven't given up needling them about it.

    3. Re:Cold war icon collision series entries, please by ravenshrike · · Score: 1

      Forgiven you for Joan of Arc? They GAVE you Joan of Arc. Therefore what happened to her was as much their fault as yours

    4. Re:Cold war icon collision series entries, please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Gorbachev will trip and bang his noggin on Reagan's headstone?

    5. Re:Cold war icon collision series entries, please by Tubal-Cain · · Score: 1

      China vs. India lunar landers.

  27. This is nothing new by zappepcs · · Score: 4, Insightful

    USS Agusta vs. Russian nuclear submarine: It's true, trust me

    Big 8 military always play little war games with each other; sometimes there are accidents. There is absolutely NO reason to think the British and French don't play war games. If the USA and USSR couldn't get sonar navigation good enough for playing chicken, there is no reason to think the British and French would.

    Meh, shit happens....

    1. Re:This is nothing new by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      USS Agusta vs. Russian nuclear submarine: It's true, trust me [wikipedia.org]

      Why should I trust you?

      Did you not read the fucking article? There are men on both vessels who say there was no collision.

      Oh, I'm sorry.. that's right. In a slashgeek's eyes it's all a conspiracy theory.

    2. Re:This is nothing new by zappepcs · · Score: 1

      Within four days of the news of the Russian sub sinking, the USS Augusta came limping into port, shrouded in tugs and tarps, photography forbidden. The next day I was talking with a friend of mine who worked at Electric Boat. The damage to the Augusta was such that they had to hit something head on, at a very fast pace; the kind of damage you would expect if you drove your car into a solid brick wall at 55 mph. The timing on all of the news bits matches the story exactly. The Augusta hit an 'underwater object' sure enough. Funny how a Russian sub sank right after they hit it.

      But in a subsequent statement, it admitted that the collision between the two submarines took place.

      "They briefly came into contact at a very low speed while submerged," the statement added.

      Did YOU RTFA?

    3. Re:This is nothing new by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Apart from the fact that both subs are of a type who's job is to try and hide. If either of them were pulling tricks like that I imagine there the captain at least will never get another ship.

    4. Re:This is nothing new by zappepcs · · Score: 1

      Are you kidding? Did you see any CEO's from wallstreet in the unemployment line? Not to be cynical, but both captains may have been doing exactly as they were ordered to do. Yes, I know wallstreet is in the USA, but you get the point. Chicken is a tough sport, no matter what kind of equipment you have. When you are playing 'lets trade punches' in the dark, with blindfolds on, it generally is no harm, but that's not true 100% of the time.

    5. Re:This is nothing new by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I've no connections with the Royal Navy, but my understanding is we have more than 30 admirals, God knows how many captains, and... a couple of rowing boats and a canoe.

      I exaggerate obviously, but the point is that there are a shit load more commanding officers than there are ships for them to command. Even if the captain of the British sub is completely blameless he must be worrying like hell about his career around now. If I understand how the navy works he will be court-martialed as a matter of course after the collision, and even a small admonishment (and I doubt deciding to play chicken in an SSBN would result in a small admonishment) would effectively mean he will never command at sea again.

    6. Re:This is nothing new by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Tautog_(SSN-639)

      About a 1/4 of the way down describes this sub's collision with the Black Lila(K-108), ripping off part of the Soviet sub's propeller.

    7. Re:This is nothing new by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      USS Agusta vs. Russian nuclear submarine: It's true, trust me

      Er, guess it's a good thing I didn't trust you. That article plainly states that Captain Britanov of the K-219 denies there was any collision, despite the Soviet Navy's accusation that USS Augusta collided with K-219. The US Navy also denies a collision.

      Oh, here we go. Bet you meant this one:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Augusta_(SSN-710)

      On 20 October 1986, shortly after K-219 sank and Augusta had returned to patrol, she collided with something, and was forced to return to Groton for about US$3 million in repairs to her bow and sonar sphere. What she collided with is officially unknown. If not the K-219, it is suggested that she had been trailing a Delta-I ballistic missile submarine, and, unknown to Augusta, being trailed in turn by a Victor class submarine. If abrupt maneuvers were made, Augusta could have collided with the Delta. Photographs exist of a Delta submarine with a large dent in its starboard bow, which the Soviet Navy identified as K-279.[1]

    8. Re:This is nothing new by srvivn21 · · Score: 1

      USS Agusta vs. Russian nuclear submarine: It's true, trust me

      If the substance of the provided link is true, then it is poor evidence of previous submarine collisions.

      "An article on the US Navy's website posted by Captain 1st Rank (Ret.) Igor Kurdin (former XO of K-219) and Lieutenant Commander Wayne Grasdock denied any collision between K-219 and Augusta. Captain Britanov himself also denies a collision. He has stated he was not asked to be a guest speaker at Russian functions because he refuses to follow the Russian government's interpretation of the K-219 incident."

    9. Re:This is nothing new by DarthVain · · Score: 1

      French and English fighting? Inconceivable!

      Alternative Ending: French Fighting? Inconceivable!

  28. Like where else were they going to collide? by PortHaven · · Score: 1

    The dessert? In the air? Perhaps in outer space...

    Should have just read "Two submarines collide"...anyone with half a brain could deduce that the collision occurred in the water. :P

    1. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by CarlosHawes · · Score: 1

      Was this perhaps one of those Royal Navy subs that the Brits recently retrofitted to run Microsoft Windows? Just wondering. Maybe the sonar station BSOD'd.

    2. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by drinkypoo · · Score: 3, Funny

      The dessert?

      I find it hard to find an ice-cream dish with sufficient room for one nuclear missile submarine, let alone two.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    3. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by GameMaster · · Score: 1

      Well, if you're going to be an anal retentive prick about it, the Mediterranian Sea; the Black Sea; the Baltic Sea; the Sea of Japan; etc. The article summart title (the only part of the summary that was less specific than "the Atlantic") specified "ocean". This also suggests that you didn't even bother reading the body of the summary before commenting. Even on Slashdot that's pretty craptastic.

      --

      Rules of Conduct:
      #1 - The DM is always right.
      #2 - If the DM is wrong, see rule #1
    4. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Two subs in a dessert is bound to collide. There is no room to do anything else.

    5. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Har har har.

    6. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      I find it hard to find an ice-cream dish with sufficient room for one nuclear missile submarine, let alone two.

      You can in a root beer float, but then that defeats the purpose of the submarines.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    7. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's a big dessert, mon ami.

    8. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You see, that was the problem! If there'd been space in the ice-cream for both they wouldn't have crashed!

    9. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by ozphx · · Score: 1

      In the bed? On the floor? Near the window, by the door?

      III'MM NUKING MATT DAEMON....

      --
      3laws: No freebies, no backsies, GTFO.
    10. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by PortHaven · · Score: 1

      What...did I typo. Yes, I did....always the epitome of pride reduction. Typoing a response to a poor statement. *lol*

      Of course, now I've got a picture of a submarine cut down the middle with three scoops of ice cream, nuts, whipped cream and a cherry on top. ;-)

    11. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by PortHaven · · Score: 1

      Yes, it said ocean. And I figured some anal retentive would comment that it could be have been in the sea instead.

      But I don't think that was the differentiation here, nor would it be much different whether it was the Mediterranean or the great Pacific. They're all ocean/seas/waterways.

      I changed it to water, because I thought there might be someone just asinine enough to point out that submarines could collide in a river and that would not have been the ocean. And this is very true, having lived on the Thames river in New London across from the U.S. Navy sub base in Groton. And been within a few hundred yards of a nuclear submarine going up the river. I know this is a potentiality.

      However, it goes back to the fact that I do not think that was what the author's summary was alluding to. Or if it was, than it should have specified the ocean. (Pacific, Indian, Atlantic, etc). But it said ocean in the generic, which refers to the mass of global waterways and to a limited extent can refer to the estuary regions of rivers as well. Ocean not referring to the lesser lakes nor inland rivers & waterways.

      Just on the chance there was such anal behavior, and there usually is on Slashdot. I altered it to water.

      Thank you for proving to me that such anal behavior always exists on Slashdot.

      Note, I even made a silly typo. The result wasn't anal response but humorous responses. As was mine...

      Anal behavior = lame, humorous behavior I enjoy. Please re-reply with a bit of humor and entertainment.

      Thank you!

    12. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by GameMaster · · Score: 1

      Eh, I did miss the raspberry emote on the first read-through. If it was intended as a joke, then my apologies.

      --

      Rules of Conduct:
      #1 - The DM is always right.
      #2 - If the DM is wrong, see rule #1
    13. Re:Like where else were they going to collide? by PortHaven · · Score: 1

      All forgiven and I retract all of my above response.

      I meant it humorously. Kind of one of those "Duh!" I don't really correct things unless I think it's funny.

      Granted, what I find funny might not always match others (it sure as heck doesn't with my wife *lol*).

      ***

      Oh btw, the DM was wrong once. But then my character suddenly died and it was a moot point. ;)

  29. Chasing Red October by Alarash · · Score: 1

    Somebody played Ivan the Mad once too many.

    1. Re:Chasing Red October by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The correct term is 'Crazy Ivan'

      You should read Tom Clancy's book again.

  30. From the article by tcopeland · · Score: 1

    > The Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament described the
    > collision as "a nuclear nightmare of the highest order".

    The problem with this sort of overblown rhetoric is that it uses up the effect of these words. Had both submarines detonated all their warheads, that would have been "a nuclear nightmare of the highest order". This incident is just part of having a Navy. As Grace Hopper said, "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for".

    1. Re:From the article by Savantissimo · · Score: 1

      As Grace Hopper said, "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for"

      A lady better known for COBOL than poetry...

      That quote is more likely to be:
      "A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are built for."
      John A. Shedd, Salt from My Attic, 1928

      but many other sources claim William Shedd, a 19th c. theologian, and some claim Grace Hopper, but none give references that I have seen.

      --
      "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?" - Patrick Henry
    2. Re:From the article by tcopeland · · Score: 1

      > That quote is more likely to be

      Fair enough, thanks for the correction!

  31. Video Cameras by psergiu · · Score: 0

    Why the darn subs don't have at lease one IR camera in front ? Come-on people. Even Nemo's sub had portholes.

    --
    1% APY, No fees, Online Bank https://captl1.co/2uIErYq Don't let your $$$ sit in a no-interest acct.
    1. Re:Video Cameras by dargaud · · Score: 1

      Maybe it's just because IR doesn't propagate in water ?

      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    2. Re:Video Cameras by canajin56 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Visibility under the water is poor. Subs turn slowly. Most you'd get out of that is "Mind the sub." "What sub?" *splat*

      --
      ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
    3. Re:Video Cameras by psergiu · · Score: 1

      Then standard cameras with some light amplification ...

      At the depths they are cruising it's not pitch dark (during the day).

      --
      1% APY, No fees, Online Bank https://captl1.co/2uIErYq Don't let your $$$ sit in a no-interest acct.
    4. Re:Video Cameras by dargaud · · Score: 1

      In water you see at most a few meters. How will that help when it takes you at least a km before you can stop anyway ? I'm pretty sure they are using all the options that make sense. Detection of the variation of magnetic field would probably work at proximity (there used to be mines triggered like this, until they started degaussing boats).

      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    5. Re:Video Cameras by MadnessASAP · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Because light of just about any sort and whole swaths of the rest of the EM spectrum don't travel very far under water, and even if it did the hulls of the submarines are going to only be marginally higher temperature then the surrounding ocean.

      I have a good thinking strategy that I go through before I open my mouth and say things like this. It basically figure that if I managed to think of this in only a few minutes there's probably a good chance that the many thousands of engineers from around the world over the past 30 years who are far more knowledgeable about this then me have also probably thought of it and have a good reason for not using it.

      --
      I may agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to face the consequences of saying it.
    6. Re:Video Cameras by Canazza · · Score: 1

      I just get this image of nuclear submarines sheering widly for a few seconds before settling down.

      --
      It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for being subtle.
    7. Re:Video Cameras by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think if that actually worked every submarine in the sea would be bristling with them.

      I'm not a physicist and I haven't tried it, but I highly suspect that dense cold sea water is a great barrier to low energy infra-red light, and other submarine hulls are probably very close to ambient temps along most of their surface anyway.

    8. Re:Video Cameras by Hellahulla · · Score: 1

      I just get this image of nuclear submarines sheering widly for a few seconds before settling down.

      And lots of seasick seamen.

    9. Re:Video Cameras by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Mind the sub." "What sub?" *splat*

      Red Dwarf FTW.

    10. Re:Video Cameras by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Funny that; I had almost the exact same conversation with a friend who was reversing his car.

      Me: "Mind the rock!"
      Him: "What rock"
      Rock: "Crunch!"

      I think it was cheaper to fix than a submarine though...

    11. Re:Video Cameras by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because light of just about any sort and whole swaths of the rest of the EM spectrum don't travel very far under water, and even if it did the hulls of the submarines are going to only be marginally higher temperature then the surrounding ocean.

      I have a good thinking strategy that I go through before I open my mouth and say things like this. It basically figure that if I managed to think of this in only a few minutes there's probably a good chance that the many thousands of engineers from around the world over the past 30 years who are far more knowledgeable about this then me have also probably thought of it and have a good reason for not using it.

      and i thought that since i could figure out that handing out billions of dollars unaccounted for would ruin the economy, that surely the politicians have figured that out as well....

    12. Re:Video Cameras by Valdrax · · Score: 1

      Why the darn subs don't have at lease one IR camera in front ? Come-on people. Even Nemo's sub had portholes.

      Maybe you're unfamiliar with the evolutionary impetus for why the range of light we call the "visible" spectrum is the one our eyes evolved to pick up both in the ocean and in the atmosphere.

      Oh, and Nemo's sub was created by the same author who thought we could shoot people to the moon in a giant cannon without killing them. Just FYI.

      --
      If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
    13. Re:Video Cameras by pz · · Score: 1

      I have a good thinking strategy that I go through before I open my mouth and say things like this. It basically figure that if I managed to think of this in only a few minutes there's probably a good chance that the many thousands of engineers from around the world over the past 30 years who are far more knowledgeable about this then me have also probably thought of it and have a good reason for not using it.

      You've got my vote for most insightful Slashdot post of the year!

      --

      Put my fist through my alarm clock with its ding-dong death inside my ear. - The Blackjacks.
  32. Oh James... by denzacar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Nuclear submarines colliding, satellites colliding, 200 million Chinese suddenly move inland leaving cities, US government giving away billions of dollars to banks...

    Don't know about you, but lately I feel more and more like I am living in a James Bond movie.
    Only I am not the one with cool gadgets, drinking problem and a girl with a sexual innuendo for a name under each arm.

    --
    Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
    1. Re:Oh James... by dunkelfalke · · Score: 4, Funny

      could be worse - imagine that you are in a tom clancy novel

      --
      "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" -- David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
    2. Re:Oh James... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Only I am not the one with cool gadgets, drinking problem and a girl with a sexual innuendo for a name under each arm.

      It was a collision between two big long hard things full of seamen.

    3. Re:Oh James... by Tiger4 · · Score: 1

      I got the gadgets and the drinking problem, but the girls are Betty and Veronica, and I'm trying to keep them off each other!

      --
      Behold, this dreamer cometh. Come now, and let us slay him... and we shall see what will become of his dreams.
    4. Re:Oh James... by Chris+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny

      It would explain the terrible characterization of people around me!

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    5. Re:Oh James... by kongit · · Score: 1

      I have cool gadgets and a drinking problem but am missing the girls. The first two prevent the last one most likely.

    6. Re:Oh James... by digitig · · Score: 1

      Could be worse still. Could be the girl with the sexual innuendo for a name. Almost certain to die horribly before the end of the final reel.

      --
      Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
    7. Re:Oh James... by meringuoid · · Score: 1
      could be worse - imagine that you are in a tom clancy novel

      Can't be. There's only one promotion left for Jack Ryan, and Darth Ratzinger got in first.

      --
      Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
    8. Re:Oh James... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Only I am not the one with cool gadgets, drinking problem and a girl with a sexual innuendo for a name under each arm.

      Well there can only be room for one of us.

    9. Re:Oh James... by ozphx · · Score: 1

      So thats why I spent forty minutes and a hundred pages describing the exact characteristics of my "gun" this morning while taking a leak...

      --
      3laws: No freebies, no backsies, GTFO.
  33. This is easy to explain by XSpud · · Score: 2, Funny

    Clearly these subs were tracking the 2 satellites that collided last week http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/02/11/2318226. The six day delay can be explained by the difference in speed of a nuclear sub compared to a satellite.

  34. A mistaken assumption... by rickb928 · · Score: 1

    "No. Therefore, it's an INCREDIBLE show of the power of the anti-detection capabilities of these subs that they BOTH manouvered close enough to each other to collide without EITHER of them detecting the other. That's bloody fantastic. A technology used by the military that actually works in production and has an incredibly relevant use."

    More likely, this points out that British and French subs have inadequate DETECTION capabilities. Couldn't find each other to the point of a collision.

    Not knowing there's something out there a mile away I can understand, that's the state of the art. But a hundred meters away gets more intriguing. That's probably the minimum distance for evading a collision, and assumes the captains don't both make the wrong move. They ought to have heard something at that distance.

    I suspect the damage radius of modern torpedoes is in excess of a hundred meters, especially if the torps are nuclear, but they sure don't need to be. This incident seems to me to point out that these boats didn't know each other were out there, more because they couldn't detect the other, and most likely because they aren't that good at finding other boats.

    I wonder if an L.A. class boat in the area, watching the action... hehe...

    --
    deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
    1. Re:A mistaken assumption... by nedlohs · · Score: 1

      They are nuclear missile subs, their entire reason for existence is that they enemy can't find them.

      They are not "hunter killer" subs that are designed to find and kill other subs and surface ships.

      Hence detection capabilities are completely irrelevant to that class of submarine - their mission is to sit undetected somewhere so that enemies know they can be nuked even if they took out the home country completely. I guess that means their missions from a purely military point of view is to sit their undetected and rain nuclear missiles down on someplace when some condition is met (though deterrence is the real goal).

      Clearly you don't put your latest and greatest "DETECTION capabilities" on such subs, they aren't supposed to find other subs anyway.

      And I don't think anyone uses nuclear torpedoes, the US had ASTORs but they were replaced by conventional warhead torpedoes a long time ago (and who really wants to be in the sub that fires a wire-guided nuclear torpedo, "kill probability of 2.0" wasn't all joke).

    2. Re:A mistaken assumption... by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 1

      Actually, you generally *do* put your finest detection systems on your SSBNs. You want them to hear when they're being hunted, and get the hell out of dodge.

      We Hide With Pride.

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
    3. Re:A mistaken assumption... by nedlohs · · Score: 1

      Surely given a trade of between detecting others and not being detected you'd take the not being detected option - and hence the systems on the sub would favour the stealthiness choices.

      And if you want the get out of dodge option, pair your SSBNs with a hunter sub loaded out with the detection stuff, they can head in opposite directions (OK not exactly opposite since that's obvious exploitable) when it sees something and since it will probably be easier to detect hopefully it attracts the attention.

      Of course how the hell they'll find each other again, and avoid hitting each other in the first place might be problematic.

      The fact that these subs are an integral part of nuclear delivery implies they aren't easy to detect, and hence hiding is currently easier than finding, in which case a collision between two of them isn't unexpected - well other than the fact that the ocean is big (even restricted to the areas suited to hiding in) and there aren't that many of them...

  35. Passed like ships in the night by LoudMusic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Looks like we'll have to alter the age-old saying "passed like ships in the night" to include "... except French and British nuclear submarines".

    --
    No sig for you. YOU GET NO SIG!
  36. sub go crunk by jollyreaper · · Score: 1

    Yeah, this makes absolutely bugger-all sense. The American/Russian collisions during the Cold War were subs deliberately playing cat and mouse. The Russians were typically noisier than the Americans and the skippers on those boats knew they could have a tail and not know it. The "Crazy Ivan" maneuver was a rapid turning of a boat to so they could hear past the prop wash of their boat. Of course, this is like slamming on the brakes when being tailgated.

    So it makes sense that attack subs could get in scrapes like this but ballistic missiles subs deliberately seek out the most isolated patches of water imaginable and avoid any contact that comes near. It really does stretch credulity to imagine that there could be a one-in-a-million collision between two such vessels.

    Usually there's a good reason for collisions in what one would otherwise imagine to be vast, open stretches. In space, in the air, on the water, there's reasons. It usually comes down to traffic funneled into a confined area for necessary, understandable reasons. Airports by their very nature require large numbers of aircraft to operate in close proximity. I would be surprised to hear of a mid-air collision over the Atlantic but not in the least to hear of one above a major airport. Ocean travel is constrained by geography and economics and there are certain lanes that are the most economical to travel, thus increasing the odds of multiple ships being in the area. But like airports, harbors represent the greatest concentration of ships and thus the greatest danger of collision. In space there may seem to be a whole lot of, well, space, but the useful orbits are actually more constricted than one might imagine. Therefore it becomes less a matter of astronomical impossibility and more a matter of statistical inevitability.

    I suppose that this very well could be a case of very, very, very long odds, two boomers bumping into each other in the middle of nowhere but it remains suspiciously odd.

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  37. Re:Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to pl by Cjstone · · Score: 1

    I'd assume that both of the subs were using passive sonar, probably towed-arrays. You typically don't go active unless you're already in a shooting fight and need the best possible firing solution against a threat that's running silent. I don't know if Boomers have passive sonar as good as that of an attack submarine, but it's probably pretty close. All this incident proves is that the engineers did their jobs well and made the sub nearly undetectable by passive means.

  38. Re:Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to pl by rnelsonee · · Score: 1

    >if your Sonar is switched on, the other sub should pick that up.

    Not necessarily. Some sonar is passive - my company (well, the company I work for...) designs hull and towed-array sonar which basically just listens to the noise in the water. Pinging helps find things, but the idea is if you just hang a bunch of hydrophones out your tail end, you can pick up other subs, especially as they get close.

  39. Nuclear Subs by Aerynvala · · Score: 0, Redundant

    For when playing "chicken" in cars gets to be boring.

    --
    http://transformativeworks.org/
  40. You may be wondering - "What are the chances?" by dimethylxanthine · · Score: 1
  41. Dear US and French Navy by drewsup · · Score: 0

    How are those new stealth mods working out for you? Sincerely Your Military Industrial Complex Contractor

  42. The French response: by hampton · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Now go away or I shall bump you a second time!"

    1. Re:The French response: by auric_dude · · Score: 1

      "Now go away or I shall hump you a second time!"

  43. Chicken of the sea! by erroneus · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This is not likely. I have served in the Navy and am familiar a lot of how this stuff works and happens and ultimately, I believe this came down to a game of chicken where neither wanted to change course. Why they didn't want to? Who knows exactly, but acknowledging that you know that someone else is there reveals a lot about yourself that you wouldn't otherwise want them to know....such as that you have the capability to know where they are which is a useful secret in war-time. After all, if they don't know they can be seen, they will think they are invisible.

    1. Re:Chicken of the sea! by PPH · · Score: 0, Redundant

      There's that. And if you suspect that an unknown sub is in the area, the last thing you want to do is to maneuver violently. That'll give away your position for certain.

      --
      Have gnu, will travel.
    2. Re:Chicken of the sea! by AxeTheMax · · Score: 1

      There's that. And if you suspect that an unknown sub is in the area, the last thing you want to do is to maneuver violently. That'll give away your position for certain.

      No, you maneuver as violently as needed to avoid hitting the other sub, after all they might all be asleep, drunk, dead or pigs might be flying. Absolutely the last thing you want to do is to collide with it. That really will give away your position for certain. You're in the big whale-like thing with metallic scrapes down one side and lots of bubbles coming out.

    3. Re:Chicken of the sea! by PPH · · Score: 1

      The key phrase here is 'in the area'. If you're not certain a collision might occur, you try to keep as quiet as possible. Its trivially easy to spoof hydrophone and magnetometer signals to make the enemy think there's another sub in the vicinity. If you jump out of your skin at the first sign of another passing sub, you're a target.

      --
      Have gnu, will travel.
  44. Keep up with politics by Kupfernigk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Many people in the UK believe that Trident is an expensively useless deterrent. Sarkozy said Brown had no idea how to fix the economic crisis. Soon after, there is a submarine collision. Brown was trying to upset Sarkozy while pandering to the right-wing UK tabloids and justifying the cost by using Trident to take on the French. Unfortunately, budget cuts mean that Trident subs are now crewed by mothers of private school kids whose only driving experience is using their Range-Rovers and Grand Cherokees to push poor people off the pavement. There could only be one outcome.

    --
    From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
    1. Re:Keep up with politics by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Unfortunately, budget cuts mean that Trident subs are now crewed by mothers of private school kids whose only driving experience is using their Range-Rovers and Grand Cherokees to push poor people off the pavement. There could only be one outcome.

      The sad thing is that (if I may stray offtopic for a moment) 18-wheelers in the USA are now piloted by those mothers. My lady just made a trip from NoCal to Nogales and she said she's never seen so many idiot truckers. Your comment made me think of it because the worst one she saw was a middle-aged woman who couldn't stay in her lane, couldn't pass, etc etc.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  45. When will the French learn ? by justleavealonemmmkay · · Score: 1

    If they're going to sail backwards all the time, they should have put a mirror.

  46. A bit of factness. by tjstork · · Score: 2, Informative

    Ya need to read your Tom Clancy. The article is wrong to talk about using SONAR. The thing in submarines is to NOT use your SONAR because it gives away your position. In World War II, the allies had no problem pinging for u-boats while submerged, but, for a submarine to ping something else is entirely a different matter. As soon as you ping, the enemy knows where you are.

    So, just about all submarine driving these days is done through passive listening. You listen to the ocean to hear stuff that might be in your way. To navigate under the water, there are extensive charts of the ocean bottom coupled with inertial navigation. There's actually one US sub that rammed something underwater and was quite severely damaged, and a sailor was killed - it was going at least 30knots.

    To evade detection then, submarines then must be very quiet and its that quiet that jacks up their enormous cost, even more. They have special materials in their hulls, special machinery that either runs more quietly or deadens sound, and even the propeller is shaped just so to avoid making noise as it propels the sub through the water. Remember, a few years ago, when Google's satellite view showed a US Submarine in drydock with its propeller fully visible? That was a huge, huge deal. Some say that the noise level of a Seawolf submarine is actually lower than the ambient noise of the ocean - rendering it essentially undetectable by passive listening. It's pretty reasonable to think that although older, the French and British submarines can run pretty quiet.

    So, the situation is this, you have two submarines moving through the water, running quiet, and are almost indetectable, but not using any means other than listening and inertial navigation to move, and they hit each other, perhaps while engaged in some friendly war games. It's bound to happen. No two ways about it. The thing is, because they were running quiet, by definition, they weren't moving very fast, lessening the damage from collision.

    --
    This is my sig.
    1. Re:A bit of factness. by flajann · · Score: 1
      Makes sense.

      Now that subs are nearly undetectable by sonic means, I'd surprised to find that they are undetectable by electric or magnetic means. I mean, can you really hide the magnetic or electric signature of a big sub?

      You should, in theory at least, be able to lay out a grid of ultrasensitive electric field and magnetic detectors, do some heavy-duty DSP on them, and spot *anything* embedded in the water up to a certain range.

      If that's the case, the the rush will be on to make your subs indistinguishable from whales. But then, your sub would have to move like a whale to be completely convincing. :-)

    2. Re:A bit of factness. by klossner · · Score: 2, Informative

      Ya need to read your Tom Clancy. The article is wrong to talk about using SONAR ... just about all submarine driving these days is done through passive listening.

      Which Tom Clancy, and everybody else, calls passive sonar .

    3. Re:A bit of factness. by Kagura · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Remember, a few years ago, when Google's satellite view showed a US Submarine in drydock with its propeller fully visible? That was a huge, huge deal.

      Actually, it was Microsoft's mapping service that had this: Here's the picture.

      And yeah, apparently it was a big deal.

    4. Re:A bit of factness. by neomunk · · Score: 1

      What about plain ole' optical sensors? Some cameras being run through a good photogrammetry/modeling package should provide plenty enough information to avoid problems like blind collisions, or so it seems to me. I would think that modern naval sensors are already combined into a composite 'battlespace map' or something to that effect, but I don't really know. Further, 2D sensory data with known sensor position can be easily integrated into such a map (especially when you're starting with a 3D map with usable reference points), so if this ISN'T being done, I can't fathom why.

      Anybody with experience in this area care to point out my folly?

    5. Re:A bit of factness. by Soulshift · · Score: 1

      I'd surprised to find that they are undetectable by electric or magnetic means. I mean, can you really hide the magnetic or electric signature of a big sub?

      Someone has already thought of this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_anomaly_detector

      --
      node-def: a tactical hacking sim. Now in open beta.
    6. Re:A bit of factness. by tjstork · · Score: 1

      I'd surprised to find that they are undetectable by electric or magnetic means. I mean, can you really hide the magnetic or electric signature of a big sub?

      I believe the best western subs have their hulls treated to render them invisible to magnetic anomaly detectors. I have no idea how they do this, but, as a condition of sale to some third world countries, the Germans, who make a mighty fine u-boat these days, have to sell the hulls so they can be detected electromagnetically - this is largely because the new German type 212 u-boats are so quiet that they have rendered US passive devices pretty obsolete. Yeah, the 212 is non-nuclear, but its got a diesel - fuel cell stack, air scrubbers and operate submerged for a long, long time. You can think of it as a 21st century type XXI.

      --
      This is my sig.
    7. Re:A bit of factness. by tjstork · · Score: 1

      What about plain ole' optical sensors?

      I would think that it would be too dark underwater.

      --
      This is my sig.
    8. Re:A bit of factness. by Jubedgy · · Score: 1

      Optical sensors would be pretty useless for collision avoidance when under water. Try taking underwater pictures using a camera at 50 feet to get a feel for the distance you can see something. Now, take that distance and imagine two WWII aircraft carriers going, say, 5 knots on a collision course suddenly seeing each other at this point. While turning, all ships have something called advance and transfer where advance is the distance on the original course a ship travels during the turn and the transfer is the distance a ship travels in the final course during a turn. There is also serious lag time between a rudder order and the beginning of movement when driving at slow speed.

      To toss some numbers in there, lets say we have a wambodyne optical sensor that will see something at 100 yds at a depth of 100 feet. with a 10 knot closure speed, that will give both boats 20 seconds to maneuver prior to collision. So that means 20 seconds for the following: Joe watchstander manning this sensor says "OOD, Contact on optical sensor, range 100 yards, narrow angle on the bow!", the OOD would then respond: "Helm, right hard rudder!" or "Helm, All back emergency!" On receipt of the rudder order, the helmsman would then have to physically move the rudder, and then the ship would take some time before beginning to turn. For the speed order, the helmsman would have to ring up the bell on the engine order telegraph, and then watchstanders in the engineroom would need time to get done what they need to get done. Getting the reports and orders out, for a good watch team, could be done in 5 seconds or so, leaving a whole 15 seconds to move however many thousands of tons those ships are.

      And don't forget: if using optics would be advantageous to have when driving slowly, subs would wander around with their periscopes up while under water...

      --
      Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis hebes
    9. Re:A bit of factness. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Some say that the noise level of a Seawolf submarine is actually lower than the ambient noise of the ocean - rendering it essentially undetectable by passive listening.

      Actually, if you read your Tom Clancy, you would know that some passive sonar arrays can track below ambient, meaning that if the background noise is less than it should be, you've found a sub.

    10. Re:A bit of factness. by totally+bogus+dude · · Score: 1

      Diesel-electric submarines can be quieter than nuclear vessels, because when a submarine is running on batteries it can be completely silent. The only sounds will be from the crew, the screws turning, and the water moving over the hull. A nuclear submarine has to have water flowing through the reactor constantly -- you can't exactly shut these things down temporarily -- which makes noise even if the boat is sitting completely stationary.

      Not directly related to your post, but probably worthwhile remembering that "diesel-electric" isn't necessarily a synonym for "obsolete". The downside is that batteries don't last anywhere near as long as a nuclear reactor does, so they have to surface or snorkel in order to recharge - and the diesels aren't exactly stealthy.

    11. Re:A bit of factness. by tjstork · · Score: 1

      Not directly related to your post, but probably worthwhile remembering that "diesel-electric" isn't necessarily a synonym for "obsolete

      In the USA they can be seen that way largely because of Rickover's tireless efforts, but, you are right, a modern u-boat could easily do commerce denial and I question the USN's assertion that the modern diesel electric boat does not have a role in the modern Navy. For the price of one Virginia, you get 4 times as many boats with the same amount of people. You can stay submerged for up to 3 weeks without snorkeling, and overall operate for 90 days. That's more than enough time to set up an attack and hide.

      I'm not saying that we should stop with the nuclear submarines. I'm saying that we should have some of these boats. Hey, if we wanted to bribe the Germans for some reason, this would be the bribe to give. I'd say at least buy one or two and learn how to build them ourselves.

      --
      This is my sig.
  47. Final transmission: by Gothmolly · · Score: 5, Funny

    "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

    --
    I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
    1. Re:Final transmission: by amori · · Score: 1

      Sub # 1 to Sub # 2: "No, you move !"

    2. Re:Final transmission: by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 1

      "Uhm...vhat are you sinking about?"

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  48. secret services? by tbj61898 · · Score: 0

    so secret they didn't see each other coming... submarine black box recorded: pvt- captain, what does this creepy "beep beep" means? cpt- it's the oven pvt- ...mmh... and this blinking point? cpt- it's.. errrm... the cooking point AndrÃ

    --
    nop, nop, nop #VBLANK
  49. They were fighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Over who could date the cute Russian sub!

  50. Not Gay... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    if their ballasts don't touch.

  51. Re:Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to pl by Jantastic · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Except, one thing puzzles me -- if your Sonar is switched on, the other sub should pick that up. So the sonar systems of both subs must've been running quiet. So the anti-sonar systems have nothing to do with the collision. So why does the article mentions them? Did I miss something?

    Yes you did :) You can't detect passive sonar.

    --
    ...a fact which for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore ~H2G2
  52. Re:Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to pl by flajann · · Score: 1
    Ok, that makes sense. The article could've just mentioned they used passive sonar, but I expect too much.

    And yes, the engineers did their stuff well.

    So if we were to ever have a "Dr. Strangelove" incident with these subs, they'd be even more difficult to spot than that plane was in the film.

    But I am sure I can have full trust and confidence in the nuclear-wielding powers of the world that "OPE" could never happen. As much as I can trust that the US story about live nukes being flown unauthorized over its own land was false.

    I have no problem with the technology. It's the people behind the technology I have a problem with. Can't the Royal Navy, the French, and the US, and the Russians (should I throw in China as well)? all agree to conduct their silly little war games in separate waters?

    Yeah, I know -- I expect too much.

  53. Stealth is good, detection is poor by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I believe they collided almost head on so unless that manoeuvre was a handbrake turn I doubt they were shadowing one another (submarines not being well known for their manoeuvrability). I suspect that it's more likely a case of wrong place at the wrong time combined with good stealth technology). Actually, this does say a bit about how good the stealth technology must be since they weren't able to passively detect one another.

    While it says something about how good their stealth technology is, it also says something about how much more work needs to be done on passive detection systems. What I mean by passive detection systems is anything like an optical camera which does not need to emit anything to see something. I am not sure what technologies could be used, but while hiding is a good thing, being able to 'see' is just as important.

    --
    Jumpstart the tartan drive.
    1. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by modecx · · Score: 3, Informative

      US Subs at least, (can't speak to UK and French sub technology) are supposed to already have a pretty advanced array of non-emitting sensors, including very sensitive gravimeters capable of detecting and mapping gravitational fields around the ship (as I understand it, primarily for detecting and navigating around earthen features, but probably capable of detecting other vessels at shorter ranges), and a number of electromagnetic sensors for detecting things like mines, which probably work just fine for detecting other large metal objects (like other subs), and probably a few things which aren't supposed to exist...

      That said, I expect neither the French or UK submarine fleet is quite as matured as the US fleet, just because of the sheer amount of moola the US has dumped into submarines.

      --
      Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
    2. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by ckaminski · · Score: 1

      This was probably a huge series of bad human decisions and nothing related to technology.

    3. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by AmunRa · · Score: 2, Informative

      What I mean by passive detection systems is anything like an optical camera which does not need to emit anything to see something. I am not sure what technologies could be used, but while hiding is a good thing, being able to 'see' is just as important.

      An optical camera relies on light coming from or reflect off an object to see it. Light only travels a matter of a few metres underwater, and to hear another vessel (i.e. SONAR) that vessel needs to be emitting some sound; which these submarines are designed to minimise.

      --
      " To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. "
    4. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A gravity meter isn't going to detect another sub. That signal is way way below its detection. Not to mention the fact that they really only measure vertical gravity and the feed back loops are minutes long, so you won't be warned in time. Oh and they don't work on turns and take many minutes to recover from them. Yes, I've worked with them, including a BGM-3 which was once on a sub.

    5. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by mpyne · · Score: 2, Informative

      I am a (US) Submariner and although I can't speak to what sensor technology we have I can say that at least US SSBNs would never be fitted with "mine avoidance" sensors unless they expected to be transiting through mine fields. Which is stupid. At least in the US fleet, SSNs get the cool technology, SSBNs then get the castoffs.

    6. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by kullnd · · Score: 1

      But a much nicer living area :) --- BTW, I think my SSBN was much nicer than my SSN, didnt have all the same cool toys but had some stuff that IMO was better than what the SSN could carry.

      MT2(SS) (past life, out of that shit now)
      USS Nevada (SSBN-733)
      USS Helena (SSN-725)

      --
      +++ATH0 NO CARRIER
    7. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by mpyne · · Score: 1

      Well the living area *is* much nicer. MT rating, how did you get assigned a SSN? I've heard of MTs on SSGN but not on fast attacks.

    8. Re:Stealth is good, detection is poor by kullnd · · Score: 1

      I was one of 2 (that I know of) MTs that went to fast attacks --- we had to skip shore duty to do it . but the idea was to then send us to a SSGN -- the other fast boat MT was one of my buddies, and he did go to a SSGN immediately after leaving his fast attack, putting him on his 3rd sea tour in a row. -- I got out before they could do that to me :) There was also some talk of putting one MT on the VLS boats in the future, but don't think that that will happen. Glad I did it, had some good times, but also just got tired of the BS involved with submarine life, dealing with officers that have 6 months in telling me how to do my job, etc... The stuff you can't escape on either type of boat :)

      --
      +++ATH0 NO CARRIER
  54. Re:Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to pl by gadget+junkie · · Score: 1

    [...] I don't know if Boomers have passive sonar as good as that of an attack submarine, but it's probably pretty close. All this incident proves is that the engineers did their jobs well and made the sub nearly undetectable by passive means.

    Even if they had the same Sonar suite / processing power, the end result would be that, all else being equal, the Boomer (missile sub) would have a better detection range than the attack sub, simply because the reactor would be optimized for noise, not speed.

    the attack sub has need for speed transients (peak speeds inthe 35+ knots range), the boomer has not. Since detection by Active Sonar suites (Surface combatants and such, active sonobuoys etc) is an issue, the attack sub is preferably as small as possible, which denies it installing bulky noise reduction equipment, like a larger reactor cooling system which avoids the need for pumps.
    As for spreading the boomers out, as elsewhere in history, geography dictates to history: even if the range is in the 4.000 nautical miles range, the areas that cover for example Iran and most of russia at the same time is not infinite, so depending on the strategic contingency planning (north Korea anyone?), the ocean can get smaller than it looks from space.

    --
    "If a boss demands loyalty, give him integrity. But if he demands integrity, give him loyalty." (John Boyd, 1927-1997)
  55. Re:Nulcear Subs -- my, how the Big Boys love to pl by flajann · · Score: 1

    >if your Sonar is switched on, the other sub should pick that up.

    Not necessarily. Some sonar is passive - my company (well, the company I work for...) designs hull and towed-array sonar which basically just listens to the noise in the water. Pinging helps find things, but the idea is if you just hang a bunch of hydrophones out your tail end, you can pick up other subs, especially as they get close.

    Ok, yeah, another bloke explained this. I've been out of touch with this line of technology for too long.

    But couldn't you also detect changes in the electric field in the water as well? Fish do this all the time. And I would imagine it would be tough to completely mask the electrical signature of something as large as a sub. Even if the hull was completely non-conductive.

    Let me guess. You can do this too, but it's top secret. You'd have to shoot all of us if you talked about it. :-)

  56. Junior Nation by mkaylor · · Score: 1

    Maybe Dale Earnhardt Jr. was driving the boat. Everyone see's that he doesn't know how to drive!

    1. Re:Junior Nation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Maybe Dale Earnhardt Jr. was driving the boat. Everyone see's that he doesn't know how to drive!

      Too soon!

  57. UAC problem? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Maybe the sailor failed to acknowledge the UAC on time? "Windows need your permission to steer away from the current course"

    Or maybe a genuine advantage check popped up in the middle of the evasion manouvre?

    1. Re:UAC problem? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Har har har. Idiot...

  58. You can not by WindBourne · · Score: 3, Informative

    During the Cold War, France was giving up all sorts of NATO and esp American secrets to USSR. It is why they were dropped from the Military side of NATO (no, France did not quit it; they were forced out) in the 60s. I doubt that they would do it today, but you still have wildly differing attitudes about security. Certain EU countries really do not care if info about UK or USA make it over to China, Al Qaeda, North Korea, etc. , thought they get upset when we do the same thing to do them (for a tit for tat). Even now, about the only fully cooperating countries out there are US and UK, and then we both cooperate MOSTLY with Australia, Canada, and Israel. Then NATO comes after that.

    --
    I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
    1. Re:You can not by hoofie · · Score: 1, Offtopic

      During the war in Bosnia, a French Officer didn't exactly cover himself in glory.

  59. submarine levels by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Here's my question: aircraft fly at different flight levels, depending on the direction they're travelling, to avoid just this sort of problem. Is there a reason we can't have UK, French, US and Russian depth-levels? We should hopefully be able to keep our own submarines apart, even if we don't want to share this information with other countries.

    1. Re:submarine levels by HawkinsD · · Score: 1

      Well, now I know what depth to set my depth charges to, when I'm trying to kill you.

      Dude, their motto is "We Hide With Pride." Your suggestion would make them less hide-y.

      --
      Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by mere idiocy.
    2. Re:submarine levels by TheDugong · · Score: 1

      Lack of imagination. Capt. Albion-Hero: "Sure us plucky Brits always cruise at 1000'. Helps everyone to avoid crashing, what!" Later... Capt. Albion-Hero: "Mr. Wilkinson, set depth to 2000'". Ensign Dastardly-Enemy: "Sir, sonar reports sub 5 miles ahead at 2000'" Capt. Very-Bad: "2000', must be one of ours".

  60. Same location by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 1

    What are the odds that two advanced SSBN submarines would collide in a vast ocean accidentally ?

    According to the article it was probably because they use the same location. While the ocean might be huge there is a certain percentage that is is in international waters and a certain percentage of that area that appeals to the sort of training manoeuvres they make. Another factor to add in is that both these submarines are probably playing in waters that are of relatively similar distance from their home bases.

    The odds are great until you start taking into account all the factors at play.

    --
    Jumpstart the tartan drive.
  61. 'Collide in ocean'? by superdave80 · · Score: 1

    Was this really necessary to add? Were they thinking there would be people that wouldn't realize that subs only move in the water?

    Next headline:

    Cars collide... 'On land'!

  62. good job watching Hunt for The Red October by SuperBanana · · Score: 1

    Glad to see you were paying attention there. You forgot that Nukes "don't react well to bullets".

    1. Re:good job watching Hunt for The Red October by ckaminski · · Score: 2, Informative

      Not the nukes, the MISSILES... the steam piping, I believe the line was "there are things in here which don't react well to bullets"

    2. Re:good job watching Hunt for The Red October by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Not the nukes, the MISSILES... the steam piping, I believe the line was "there are things in here which don't react well to bullets"

      Actually, you're wrong too. It was "there are thingsh in heah which don't reoct well to bulletsh."

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  63. When countries collide! ;^) by rstanley · · Score: 1

    Considering that both countries Military forces, have been bitten recently by Windows Malware, you HAVE to wonder if their navigational computers are running Mickey$oft O/S! ;^) And if so WHY??? Of course, neither country would admit that M$ O/S / Software was involved or to making such a stupid decision as to ever let M$ on to ANY Military vessel in the first place! I should send a Debian Lenny DVD to both Navys! ;^)

  64. Lets go fishing by everweb · · Score: 1

    If I wanted to go fishing for a nuclear sub (or simply increase the likelihood of a collision), all I would need to do is find where they like to hang out (where are the most detailed maps of the ocean floor?) and drop some interesting bait (say a steel drum with alarm clocks inside).

  65. he was talking about the plant, not the bombs by SuperBanana · · Score: 1

    That was the most retarded thing that could possibly have been added to that summary.

    No, it wasn't. It's perfectly valid to ask why two subs with competent sonar operators did not detect any noises from the other ship at such close range.

    No, Nick. It wouldn't be, because nuclear weapons have to be detonated.

    He was referring, most likely, to the nuclear POWER PLANT, moron.

    Or, perhaps, to the fact that people who managed to ram each other are the same morons who are holding a huge number of the country's nuclear missiles.

  66. ping delay? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    $ ping sub

    Pinging sub with 32 bytes of data:

    Reply from sub: bytes=32 time=30ms TTL=128
    Reply from sub: bytes=32 time=20ms TTL=128
    Reply from sub: bytes=32 time=10ms TTL=128
    Reply from sub: bytes=32 time=0ms TTL=128

    Ping statistics for sub:
            Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 4, Lost = 0 (0% loss),
    Approximate round trip times in milli-seconds:
            Minimum = 0ms, Maximum = 30ms, Average = 15ms

  67. Time to end the military by j0ebaker · · Score: 1

    Seriously, it's time to stop funding the military industrial complex to feed the elaborate appetites for enslaving the masses to fraudulent international bankers. I damn all governments to irrelevance. Support peace through anarchy.

    -Joe Baker

    1. Re:Time to end the military by JustNiz · · Score: 1

      Well said.

  68. You Know, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Reading this thread, it is really amazing how much Tom Clancy has contributed to the slashdot knowledge base. I wonder how much of it is true or pertinent to the incident at hand.

  69. Topography, not topology by LeDopore · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I'd like to respectfully correct a very common and understandable error in your terminology. I think you mean "topography" when you talk about the peaks and troughs of the ocean floor. "Topology" is a mathematical term describing the connectivity of sets of points: for example the surface of s sphere has one kind of topology while the surface of a donut has a different kind, because continuous transformations that don't break the 2D surface of a sphere can't morph it into a shape with a hole in it. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topology for more if you're interested.

    That aside, your point is well-taken that subs might tend to congregate in the same areas due to favorable underwater geological features.

    --
    Expected time to finish is 1 hour and 60 minutes.
    1. Re:Topography, not topology by djchristensen · · Score: 1

      Thanks for that explanation. Now I know not to trust that "topological map" I got at a yard sale next time I go hiking. Might be helpful in finding a donut shop, though...

    2. Re:Topography, not topology by Myrddin+Wyllt · · Score: 1

      Topologist-n Someone who can't tell the difference between a doughnut and a cup of coffee.

      (old mathematician's joke)

      --
      [ ]Half Empty [ ]Half Full [x]Twice as big as it needs to be
  70. Isn't that the entire point? by nurb432 · · Score: 1

    To be so stealthy that you cant be detected, even up to the point of contact?

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
  71. The Cold War ain't over by rlseaman · · Score: 1

    I've never read more rank speculation - and here is some more!

    Clearly we must coordinate operations with our allies. Just as clearly, however, the only reason for the ballistic missile fleets to be at sea is for them to be carrying out the same mission they have always had - serving as a deterrent. Similarly, any land-based ICBMs the nuclear powers still have on hand from when Ronald Reagan single handedly tore down the Berlin Wall, well, they are still directly or indirectly threatening other countries. Presumably most are still targeted, fueled and ready to go.

    For any strategic missile sub to carry out its mission, it must travel quiet. Further, it must travel in a completely unpredictable pattern. One presumes that the Captain's orders rarely consist of specific cruising instructions. These subs are supposed to be hard to find and hard to predict once you do have a point to plot on your own chart (for instance, when the sub sailed in the first place).

    The real risk here is not that there may be well-known friendly bits of ocean. The real risk is that a sub's captain would choose to make use of such on a regular basis.

  72. Badly damaged? by teridon · · Score: 3, Funny

    I heard the front fell off!

    --
    I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing. -- Thomas Jefferson
    1. Re:Badly damaged? by Falconhell · · Score: 1

      At least it was beyond the enviroment, there's nothing out there. there is no enviroment.

  73. France... by jotaeleemeese · · Score: 2

    Saved the asses of the UK in the war against Argentina.

    Francois Mitterand convinced the company that produced the Exocet missiles to give access to the UK to the designs of these weapons.

    Argentina had these missiles and were using them successfully against British ships.

    And France is there in Afghanistan, fighting a fight which many other countries are reluctant to fight...

    And this is just for starters. The Brits have ground to be ambivalent about France, but the US?

    Check the history about the US war of independence.

    --
    IANAL but write like a drunk one.
    1. Re:France... by Kagura · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Check the history about the US war of independence.

      Why? 300 years ago the US and Britain were enemies, and now they are friends. What happened 300 years ago has no bearing on how we should behave today.

      I hate arguments like that single quoted sentence. It's like how some Koreans complain about Japan invading them over the past few hundred years and the domination from 1905 until 1945 as reasons to dislike Japan and Japanese today.

      I don't even know where the anti-France thing comes from. I just view it as a funny running joke.

    2. Re:France... by WindBourne · · Score: 1

      Do not get me wrong. I have nothing against France. BUT, the rest of NATO was burned badly by France during the Cold war. As such, we tend to be CAUTIOUS about who gets info from us. The same is true of UK. They do not give but a fraction of the info to France that they give to USA. That includes their nukes. America has a good idea of which ships are operating where and missions. France is given a little bit of info, but not that much. Hopefully with Sarkozy in office and new policies slowly going into place, things will change.

      I find it interesting that my original post was modded a troll. It was anything but. The simple fact is, that UK does not fully trust France and does not give them enough info to know where the sub was.

      --
      I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
    3. Re:France... by digitig · · Score: 1

      The Brits have ground to be ambivalent about France, but the US?

      Depends who you believe.

      --
      Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
    4. Re:France... by LandDolphin · · Score: 1

      like how some Koreans complain about Japan invading them over the past few hundred years and the domination from 1905 until 1945 as reasons to dislike Japan and Japanese today.

      Umm... That's pretty recent. There are still a lot of people around that were alive and remember 1905 - 1945....Seems if you fought between 1905 - 1945, you'd still be ok to have some dislike. Then of course, they engrained that disliek into their kids. It can take generations to lose it.

      --
      Spelling and Grammar errors have been added to this post for your enjoyment
    5. Re:France... by phosphorylate+this · · Score: 1

      Imperial Japan killed a LOT of people in their invasion of Manchuria and were not even remotely nice about it. Far more civilians died in Asia than in the European half of the war.

      The invasion was forced to end externally by Russia and the US. As a consequence many countries aren't really convinced Japan as a country ever really showed proper remorse, hence the anger. Contrast Japan's behavior as a socitey with the clear remorse Germany has shown over the last 60 years. In terms of not dealing with the nastier parts of their history they are far closer to the Austrian/Italian WWII response or the response of Britian/France/Belgium/Germany/Holland to their African colonial histories.

    6. Re:France... by phosphorylate+this · · Score: 1

      Sarkozy is currently thinking of rejoing NATO no?

    7. Re:France... by dwye · · Score: 1

      > Check the history about the US war of independence.

      Check the history about the Treaty Of Paris which settled it. The French were screwed out of any gains that they might have warranted, and everyone in the US delegation was pleased about it. They may not have been English subjects, anymore, but they still had English attitudes on a lot of things.

      Furthermore, any "alliance" certainly died with the XYZ Affair, after the French Revolution.

    8. Re:France... by lwsimon · · Score: 1

      Wait, what? 300 years ago was 1709, and the US didn't exist.

      --
      Learn about Photography Basics.
    9. Re:France... by mi · · Score: 1

      Argentina had these missiles and were using them successfully against British ships.

      Britain would've prevailed anyway. Argentina had no chance — their gamble was on the UK giving up. But Thatcher didn't "blink" and that was it. Even if Britain didn't have the intelligence you claim they had, and sustained twice the losses it did as a result, it would've prevailed anyway (and still lost fewer people, than Argentina).

      And it wouldn't have been. The sole ship sunk by the missile (Argentine only had five of them, and used up two that day) suffered due to a number of mistakes and unfortunate coincidences. After losing one ship, Royal Navy, no doubt, would've wised up... The other ship targeted that day had fired off a chaff and avoided getting hit.

      Not to mention, that France was obligated to assist Britain as a fellow NATO-member — whatever value their actual assistance had.

      --
      In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
    10. Re:France... by mi · · Score: 1

      The sole ship sunk by the missile

      Uhm, I take it back. There were more losses due to these. But the rest of my argument still stands. The French helped (as they were supposed to), but hardly saved anybody's "ass".

      --
      In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
    11. Re:France... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just repeating it does not make it true. Do you have any proof to your claims?

      Or should I just say: citation needed...

    12. Re:France... by internewt · · Score: 1

      Francois Mitterand convinced the company that produced the Exocet missiles to give access to the UK to the designs of these weapons.

      Allegedly Thatcher threatened to use nukes on Argentina if the French didn't divulge those codes though!
      http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005/nov/22/books.france

      --
      Car analogies break down.
    13. Re:France... by cusco · · Score: 1

      Israel sells not only US military secrets but US military hardware, purchased with US taxpayer dollars and given to them for free, to both Russia and China, and they've been doing it for decades. They run terrorist operations against targets in the US, including US citizens and a Muslim US Senator, run false flag operations that result in the US attacking innocents, have 200+ nuclear weapons that they threaten their neighbors with, launder money for drug and weapons imported into the US, run spy operations against the US government and industries, attempted to bomb the Mexican parliament, etc. And yet year after year the Congresscritters vote to give them more money than they got the previous year. Go figure.

      --
      "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that." - George Carlin
    14. Re:France... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not to mention that the Japanese are still the most racist people on the face of the earth - those of Korean ancestry are third-class citizens in Japan. (Odd considering that the educated consultants then-near-barbarous Japan brought in in the 7th century were mostly Korean, and all married into the ruling class that continues to run Japan) The Japanese still discriminate against people whose ancestors were leather-workers hundreds of years ago (burakumin), because of misplaced Buddhist dogmatism, despite the fact that the Japanese never were all that Buddhist, certainly not enough to not eat meat and use leather.

      Where does the anti-France thing come from? France - except they call it anti-Parisian. Parisians are like New Yorkers (NYC), except much more arrogant and obnoxious, and they run France.

    15. Re:France... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes! Stop messing with the French. They probably just wanted to knock on the door to say that they surrender.

    16. Re:France... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually, this France-UK thing is about European domination. OK, it dates back to the time that European domination meant world domination, but that doesn't make it a moot point by definition.

      I (and I'm, Belgian, not French nor British) was taught about the independence war that it was won by France. The British Empire had little to fear and the Americans got their ass kicked untill the French showed up and showed them how to put up a decent fight.

      I cannot comment about Korea, but even in the European Union today some of the stances the UK takes can be explained by its wich to be the most powerfull country in Europe. (e.g. the expansion of the EU even when the institutions can't handle it)

    17. Re:France... by David+Nabbit · · Score: 1

      I don't even know where the anti-France thing comes from. I just view it as a funny running joke.

      It all boils down to the freedom fries.

      --
      "Her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing."
  74. Since always? by jotaeleemeese · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Your war of independence for example ?

    WWI?

    WWII?

    First Gulf War?

    Afghanistan invasion?

    Should I carry on?

    --
    IANAL but write like a drunk one.
    1. Re:Since always? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Your war of independence"?

      The article is about a British and French submarine colliding. He asked when the French were "our" allies, pertaining to sharing of a sub's route.

      And you assume he's American.

      Oh, that's right. Any time anybody on the internet says something stupid, they're automatically an American. Got it.

  75. Or in a /. reference.. by RingDev · · Score: 2, Funny

    Someone should have spent more time Naval Gazing.

    -Rick

    --
    "Most people in the U.S. wouldn't know they live in a tyrannical state if it walked up and grabbed their junk." - MyFirs
  76. One Ping Only by ralf1 · · Score: 1

    One Ping Only dammit

    --
    "Would you, could you, with a goat?" Dr Seuss
  77. /ignore? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    England and France? I bet they had each other on /ignore.

  78. BTW by WindBourne · · Score: 1

    France is in Afghanistan not soley because of NATO commitments. AQ is a full threat to the west. They continue to attack there and are certainly trying to attack America even now. Sadly, had we had real leadership in 2000, AQ would be but a memory. As it is, the west is likely going to lose Afghanistan to AQ, just like Pakistan is slowly being taken over by Talibahn/AQ. And this was because of a total idiot.

    --
    I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
  79. New game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Blind Chicken

  80. Oblig. by PPH · · Score: 1

    They were both engaged in emergency maneuvers to avoid upsetting a laser-equipped shark.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  81. Conn, Sonar! Crazy Ivan! by Hellahulla · · Score: 1

    Or perhaps Crazy Pierre?
    But seriously, are there really still holes in a submarine's passive sonar any more?

  82. Red October reference by omi5cron · · Score: 1

    was one trying to get the drop on the other, playing submarine-style stealth tag? maybe a sub commander trying to see how well he can track another sub without being detected, and the other doing a random "Crazy Ivan" style maneuver? i believe such things have happened before.

    1. Re:Red October reference by Hordeking · · Score: 1

      was one trying to get the drop on the other, playing submarine-style stealth tag? maybe a sub commander trying to see how well he can track another sub without being detected, and the other doing a random "Crazy Ivan" style maneuver? i believe such things have happened before.

      More like they were playing stealth-chicken.

      --
      Disclaimer: The opinions and actions of the US Gov't are in no way representative of those held by this author or its ci
  83. From the impressive navigation dept. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I find it very interesting that each sub was able to find the exact "middle of the Atlantic".

    jp

  84. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Informative

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  85. Actual it is a coverup by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 1

    The truth? Both got some suprise buttsex from a passing whale and are embarresed to admit it.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

  86. The Fr...icken Chinese by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Off to watch Yes, (Prime) Minister.. Thanks for the reference!

  87. french military victories by xyzhello · · Score: 1
    Today, France demonstrated European naval superiority. Triomphant's advanced SONAR capability detected a British stealth SSBN in the Atlantic Ocean, trumping the British for the first time since, erm, 1066. French SONAR was 100% accurate in this case, although scientists are thinking hard about improving the range. From zero.

    "[Le Triomphant's] sonar dome was damaged [in the collision]"

  88. Yes, it sounds 'strange', but by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you don't need 'scare quotes' to convey that.

    My guess is, it was a joint manoeuvre to test their stealth capabilities. It was a huge success. Now what they have to work on is their stealth technology wrt the general public.

  89. glouglou by Spaham · · Score: 1

    but of course I'm french, why do you think we have this outrageous accident ?

  90. The British response: by DanJ_UK · · Score: 1

    "Oops, sorry!"

    --
    - Dan
  91. Oops by Supergibbs · · Score: 1

    Oops, we accidentally severed the Middle Eastern internet cables...

    --
    First post! (just in case I am...)
  92. Supercavitation by VisceralLogic · · Score: 1

    Supercavitation... that is all.

    --
    Stop! Dremel time!
    1. Re:Supercavitation by 2names · · Score: 4, Funny

      Just a heads up...

      If you are going to search for Supercavitation images on the web, make sure "safe search" is on...

      --
      "I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
  93. Obligatory by Hordeking · · Score: 1

    What's big and long and full of seamen?

    A submarine!

    Thank you thank you! I'm here all week!

    --
    Disclaimer: The opinions and actions of the US Gov't are in no way representative of those held by this author or its ci
  94. Re:Whoops - Mod parent up by Cochonou · · Score: 2, Informative

    Modern submarines don't have "baffles" - they have a towed array which is actually more sensitive than the main sonar array. If there is a direction along which the detection capabilities of a submarine are the worst, it's in the front.

  95. Anonymous Coward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It was a misunderstanding/malentendu. The Brit sub driver drove on left side. Who knows?

  96. Radical Idea. Port holes by StillNeedMoreCoffee · · Score: 0

    Just put one in the front and one in the back. Station a non-sleeper at each with a com-link, problem solved.

    If everyone does it the the ones on the sides are not needed.

  97. boooooring by w1d3 · · Score: 1

    let me know when 3 of them hit each other at the same time

  98. Hostile Waters by delcielo · · Score: 1

    I would also recommend Hostile Waters by Peter Huchthausen. It's a fascinating story both in the events themselves, and in how it was handled by both countries.

    --
    Hot Damn! It's the Soggy Bottom Boys!
  99. Blue Sea of Death by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    When you're underwater a BSOD just looks like another porthole.

  100. How submarines navigate by w0mprat · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Military submarines know their position largely by calculating distance, speed, direction and time taken, they also take into account expected currents and this data is all considered against charts of course. Without active sonar, gps, but with only compass orientation this is the only way to navigate thousands of feet down. Naturally over a period of silent running a submarine will become less and less certain about it's position. This doesn't really matter too much in the massive expanse of ocean, only occasionally surfacing to get a fix from a satellite.

    Add to that that submarines don't exactly report to each other where they are.

    The odds of a submarine hitting anything in the oceans is extremely remote. It's very very hard to fit your head around the cubic volume of the oceans, even when you have a submarine limited to only the top 1000-3000ft of it!

    This is the very definition of a freak occurance.

    Infact so unusual and unlikely that I'm quite certain these two submarines were somewhat aware of the presence of the other, were likely following and playing a bit of cat and mouse perhaps (really what else is there to do down there?). But both running silent and lacking any positive fix, there would always be the chance of a collision. No surprises they collided at slow speed - this would be right if they were in maximum stealth.

    --
    After logging in slashdot still does not take you back to the page you were on. It's been that way for 20 years.
  101. Silence by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    About 25 years ago I took a seminar in submarine design. This was still during the cold war. In the silencing discussion the instructor noted that by the mid 1990's, the technology, while expensive, would be available to make submarines so silent that, as he put it, "the first you'd know that another submarine is out there is when their collision alarm sounded." This is within a couple of hundred yards or even less. Ballistic missile submarines are the one class of submarine where a country wants to invest that kind of money. So it's not too surprising that, if they were near each other, neither submarine crew knew the other sub was there until it was too late to avoid a collision.

  102. Its MS's Fault! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Windows crashed the UK sub's computers, during a manouver and...

  103. Think this isn't possible try U.S.S. San Francisco by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This scenario between two 0 degree angle-on-the-bow (head-on) ballistic missile submarines is entirely possible without any speculation about "crazy ivans" or SSN-type games. Try looking up the U.S.S. San Francisco accident. Even though the San Fran was going at high speed it couldn't hear the seamount in front of it because it does not make enough noise above the background noise of the ocean. Ballistic missile submarines make a huge effort not to make any noise. Modern submarines usually don't make noise above the level of the background noise of the ocean. Boomers on missile patrol are even quieter. Two boomers at slow speed could easily run into each other before they could be detected on passive sonar. The U.S. doesn't tell our allies where we patrol, heck, we don't even tell our surface fleet or fast-attack submarines where we're patrolling. I'm just glad that no one was hurt and the billion-dollar boats were just a bit dented.

    Former Sonar Tech on a Trident

  104. Re:Whoops - Mod parent up by budgenator · · Score: 1

    Interesting, now it's clear as mud, the French sub got bumped in a soft spot on the nose and got crinkled, the Brit's bumped on a hard spot with no real damage until the French sub's towed array kept coming due to inertia and fouled the Brit's prop. These propellers are super precise and the least damage would destroy the shafts and bearings balance causing probably millions of Euros in damage. I bet everybody and their brother's are going to search the bottom for fallen goodies so they can figure out what the French can and can't hear out there.

    --
    Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
  105. Read all of Clancy's books - and saw the movies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Read all of Clancy's books - and saw the movies.
    My father worked in the pentagon and attended the Naval Academy. He could not deny that Clancy got way too much correct.

  106. Ever play hide-n-seek & find three kids togeth by peacefinder · · Score: 1

    "The article mentions that they happen to frequent the same sea lanes, but even still that seems a tad improbable."

    If there are areas of the ocean which are better for hiding than others, the probability of two missile boats both choosing the same area in which to hide would be higher. It's still pretty unlikely that two would bump, but it may not be not quite so unlikely as it first would appear.

    --
    With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter. -- William Lloyd
  107. Bullshit by einar2 · · Score: 1

    I am not a specialist about military matters. However, this sounds like a load of bullshit.

    Wikipedia claims that France (founding nato member) left because the French went for military independence. After becoming a nuclear power in 1960, France saw themselves not adequately represented in the NATO.
    So, it looks less like "the French leaking secrets" and more like "the Americans not being able to share power".

    Being Swiss and neutral, guess which version sound more credible to me...

  108. In the immortal words of Rick Delanty by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    *CLANG!*
    What the fuck was that?

  109. just going to say what everyone is thinking.. by handmedowns · · Score: 1

    underwater chicken with nuclear subs..

    after all was said and done, the royal and french navy's had to make sure their stories corroborated eachother.

    --
    The road between democracy and tyranny is paved with secrecy in the name of security.
  110. If you think niether was aware of the other... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you're a bigger fool than they thought you were. Have you ever wondered about the chances that two such vessels could be so close to each other by chance?

  111. Already countered. by tjstork · · Score: 1

    And countered it.

    Type 206 u-boats have non-magnetic steel hulls. Pretty bad-ass, huh?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_206_submarine

    And of course the old Russian Alfa hulls, made from titanium, were non-magnetic, and the USS Virginia class is said to have an "electromagnetic detection reduction system", which I would guess is probably a non-magnetic hull.

    --
    This is my sig.
    1. Re:Already countered. by flajann · · Score: 1
      Well, that takes care of the magnetic side.

      How about the electric fields? I would think that would be much more tough to counter.

  112. Area codes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Perhaps they have codes for areas, where the communication officers have no idea what areas the codes correspond to, but can nevertheless compare codes with their allies officers to make sure two subs never get to be in the same area at the same time.

    Or something...

    Anyhow, someone or some system obviously failed. I don't think that they just neglected the odds. Speaking of movies this exact thing almost happened in "Das Boot". =)

  113. Accidents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Accidents happen, but not in deciding what's news when national security is at stake.

    Funny how this happens the same day as North Korea threatens nuclear tests (again). Would there be a more subtle, less threatening way to make a headline that reminds the world that two countries are nuclear and active?

  114. You don't need sonar. by tlambert · · Score: 1

    You don't need sonar. You need VLW radio receivers on the subs, and you need transmitter stations to send the date, which the French don't have, but that the British do: http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Longwave.htm. They already use this technology to transmit information updtates to subs, even when they are running dark.

    For detection, you just need overflights by satellites or aircraft equipped with SAR (Synthetic Aperture Radar): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_aperture_radar. The Soviets used a satellite based system for submarine detection since the 1980s http://www.heritage.org/research/nationalsecurity/bg466.cfm, and most western governments followed suit. Even the Canadians have flown SAR satellite constellations. The submarines, if they move, show up as surface lumps, and if don't mode, then your position is known (approximately) from where the lump last was.

    So it's likely that at least a number of countries knew where both subs were, and at least the Brits could have sent a message to their sub indicating an impending close call -- which for this type of submarine, given that they don't play cat and mouse games with it, probably counts in nautical miles.

    -- Terry

  115. Acoustic Daylight by Savantissimo · · Score: 1

    What I mean by passive detection systems is anything like an optical camera which does not need to emit anything to see something. I am not sure what technologies could be used

    Good idea.

    http://extreme.ucsd.edu/Research/AcousticDaylight/AcousticDaylight.html

    ...a revolutionary underwater electronic imaging technique currently under development by a dozen Scripps Institution of Oceanography (SIO) scientists is promising to shed new light into the ocean's murkiest depths.

    The technique, known as the Acoustic Daylight Ocean Noise Imaging System (ADONIS), uses the ambient noise present in the ocean- created by everything from passing ships, breaking waves and popping of bubbles- to create images of objects in the water.

    Google "Acoustic Daylight" for more.

    --
    "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?" - Patrick Henry
  116. Two subs bumping head-to-head sounds kinda gay. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't mean like the cool lesbian clit-bumping tribulation kind of gay, but the awkward frotting and potential of one making a "hoody" on the other frotter kind of gay.

    *jeepers*creepers*

  117. Boomers don't play games... by AugustFalcon · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Been there, done that. When you are in your patrol area typically you are making turns for 3 knots or less. If you get a contact you try to avoid it without either leaving your patrol area or being detected yourself.

    Occasionally your are either unable to estimate the range to a contact due to a technical reason or sonar just blows the estimate. That's what happened to us. We had him on sonar: a weak sound level with a zero bearing rate -- sonar told us he was far away.

    Our collision was with a Russian boat. We had just started to clear baffles to port when he hit us on the starboard side just forward of the sail. He took out all the forward ballast tanks on the starboard side. If we hadn't just started to clear baffles to port he would have T-boned us and it would have been a lot uglier for us.

    He had no clue that we were there -- he thought he had hit the bottom (immediately he lit off his fathometer on the short scale) --- the water was 6,000 feet deep. His reactor plant scrammed, he started flooding and had to surface. We just went deep and snuck away.

    I know the U.S. boats and systems are much tougher than many think and I am certain the British and French boats are comparable.

    1. Re:Boomers don't play games... by Max_W · · Score: 1

      You call a boat which cannot notice such a huge object just in front of it and rams it "tough"? I would say it is a frivolous boat.

  118. real problems by Max_W · · Score: 1

    Why did they go into the Atlantic in the first place? To hunt Somalian pirates? To frighten poor Ukrainian and Russian peasants? To fight spam and phishing problems, which are overwhelming the civilization? What do the want to solve with the nuclear ballistic rockets??

    At least it could be one submarine there. But why they swarming in the ocean to the point of collisions? In this economic situation I would not think it is a good way of spending our money.

    1. Re:real problems by u38cg · · Score: 1

      With more than one country with nuclear capabilities around the world politically capable of destabilising to the point of attempting to go to war with us, I would say it's money well spent. Germany went from being a sane and democratic country to rolling into Poland in six years. That's a very short space of time. If Iran or Russia get into a similar position - a mad idealogue and a popular cause - I would want them to know we are ready to chuck it back at them.

      --
      [FUCK BETA]
    2. Re:real problems by Max_W · · Score: 1

      You know what? Iranians, Brits, Koreans, etc. all this division was created by the geographical barriers, which are disappearing due to transport and communication technology. So the differences will be untraceable sooner than one might expect.

      But we shall not destroy the planet with nukes until then. That was my point.

    3. Re:real problems by u38cg · · Score: 1

      Ultimately, I hope so, but don't underestimate the power of human nature to form an us and them mentality. Fascism is a very attractive slippery slope and one that a number of countries are presently at risk of falling into. And cheap global transport has the same life expectancy as cheap oil, at least until someone solves some hard problems.

      --
      [FUCK BETA]
  119. And the French sub ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... promptly surrendered.

  120. Re:Subs don't always use SONAR, and... by davidsyes · · Score: 1

    ummm but, i'd like to know WHERE they were operating. I'm thinking that they might have been using certain unnamed currents in undisclosed trenches to gain access to other operating areas. Not as if we're talking Deep Space 9 wormholes and other sci-fi shows' jump gates and such. It's possible (of course i cannot prove it) that some submarine topography (for you who are NOT bubbleheads and don't know there is more than one meaning to "submarine"....) allows submarines to just drift dead silent. As long as there are markers (beacons) or landmarks that can be passively triangulated on, then the CO knows when to spin up the thruster/s to break out of the current and therefore "disappear".

    The GIUK "choke point" is an area where for decades the USN got to enjoy using its SOSUS network and unnamed and some unacknowledged upgrades to see any and everything that went through. Soviet AGIs (intelligence craft outfitted to look like trawlers/fishing boats) sometimes followed my former ship (USS Flint (AE-32), and i'm talking about 1986; our captain even came over the 1MC and talked about the AGI that was shadowing us, and i shot 2 (low-quality) pics myself) out of the area off SF because they thought we were helping boomers from Bremerton in the area standing by or fast attacks from overhaul at Mare Island to slip out into the deep sea. After all, an AE-26 class ammo ship is some 560 feet long, 82 or so wide, and about 24+ deep, and we could back then (if it were requred) somewhat mask a boomer with our noisy steam plant. But, even back then the USN subs were super quiet, but not nearly as quiet (if i read correct) as Akula or some other titanium hulls the Soviets built at great expense and outfitted with Toshiba/someother Japanese technology-based propeller milling machines that helped Soviet boats just "disappear" when the USN had enjoyed detection superiority over the "enemy".

    Anyway, getting back to my earlier point, it's possible these two boats were unfortunately transiting a passage at the same time, and once they detected minute mechanical sounds realized that avoiding collision was more important then posturing for destroying another ship, given the current (from their perspective) DEFCON-equivalent situation. They might have even known exactly whose boat was outside just prior to the collision, since hull scraping might mask or make difficult for several seconds to minutes what hull they hit.

    Sonar detection (i'm not talking just about the active pinging type, but also the conformal arrays, trailed wire/towed array systems, and the friendly buoys that might relay (broadcast, not directional transmission) intel) and intelligence gathering over the past 20+ years (aided by espionage by all parties) has enabled various navies to know not ONLY nation and class of boat, but the EXACT boat-- so long as it was previously detected and had no post-detection overhauls that would alter the signature... things such as modifying pipes or pumps or condensers and turbo generator sets, or even the "rafts" on which whole decks sat on(keep in mind that the hull at depth are under ENORMOUS pressure pers square inch and the hull therefore compresses, meaning it's not advantageous ot have decks directly welded to the tube but rather to the bulkheads-mounted shock and noise attenuating sound mounts...) which would either change acoustics, magnetic properties or other things.

    But, if they were transiting almost in parallel, they might have had a shallow angle collision. I wouldn't imagine them head on in the same stream if the purpose was to be drifting. Even if the media report a head on collision, we have no reason to accept that as truth unless we had experts we trusted visit each hull, look at the navigation logs, and interpolate the evidence, which by now will be marked/classified secret or higher, or which will have been "sanitized for public consumption".

    (Captch: "cremate")

    --
    Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
  121. Nuclear Subs Collide by VarkoCranston · · Score: 1

    Where is Bungo Pete when you need him?

  122. Coincidence? I think not... by The+Real+Tachyon · · Score: 1

    I can't help thinking that this story is related.

    "Microsoft Windows is now powering the British Royal Navy's nuclear-armed submarine fleet; giving all new meaning to the Blue Screen of Death."...
    http://www.tomshardware.com/news/Submarines-Windows-Royal-Navy,6718.html

    "Microsoft...bringing whole new meaning to the terms 'crashing your computer' and 'blue screen of death' "

  123. My current meter shows by DRAGONWEEZEL · · Score: 1

    20 amps w/ the arrow pointing straight up.

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    How much is your data worth? Back it up now.
    1. Re:My current meter shows by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      That's metrics for ya!

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  124. I thought you wrote by DRAGONWEEZEL · · Score: 1

    "Trout droit" Which translates to "fish on" I think..

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  125. on media coverage by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I also find it interesting that the story was nowhere on the French "Le Monde" newspaper website and the official story of the French sub hitting a container buried somewhere. Then the BBC released it and the French military admitted to it and it received very limited coverage in the French press.

  126. Re:Whoops: off by 400 or only 20. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Speed varies with the square root of energy, so a factor of 400 in the energy calculation corresponds to a factor of 20 in speed. There may also be a sqrt{2} error: the kinetic energy of a kilogram moving at 1m/s is only half a Joule.

  127. Windows by Walter+Carver · · Score: 1

    Maybe they shouldn't be running Windows :P