Slashdot Mirror

There are two videos around.
The "monkeydance" one and another (less funny one) where Balmer repeatedly chants "Developers, developers, developers!" to the audience.
Have a look, here are some mirrors of both videos.

But then again you have to admit that this would be step up in coolness. For now he's been called "Dance Monkey Boy" by the masses (that started after his monkey jumping and dancing on Windows promotion, http://www.ntk.net/ballmer/mirrors.html ).

Has anyone ever seen a picture where Ballmer does not:

- look like a psycho
- look like a moron
- look, jump and scream like a fucking gorilla with ADD on speed (*cough* developers *cough*)

Anybody?

Thought so.

I did not rtfa but I have 10+ years experience in IT. If you are expecting a technically competent boss than you are naive. Most employers seek management material by how well they can balance a budget and how much they impress and interact with the top brass. Certainly not by how technically competent they are. If they *claim* they know oracle, or solaris or whatever it is that the organization uses than they are considered as adequate or competent.

I am pleaseantly surprised at my position that my boss participates in daily operations at the same level that us admin's do. Not only that he possesses one of the highest levels of knowledge about the system and network one can possess. I am honestly shocked at his technical competence. This is a very rare occasion in the IT field. I have had 8 other jobs in this field where the brass made all the decisions without any proper technical knowledge or education. I have been fortunate that the blame fell on the executive when shit broke vs falling on poor little me.

Anyways it is amazingly naive for an IT professional to assume his boss knows what he/she knows. I would refer you to the BOFH for advice on this. Although his methods are questionable at best his reasons are valid. check him out at bofh.ntk.net you might learn something :)

The Bastard Operator from Hell has plenty of tips for situations like these.

i don't know how the 'know your roots' t-shirt is ironic.

I'm sure NTK used to sell a far more suitable T-shirt for such events, courtesy of the foul-mouthed UK Resistance. Imagine the following, in huge white monospaced lettering on a black shirt:

10 PRINT "RETRO GAMES ARE SHIT"
20 GOTO 10

I'd be amazed if the wearer were to escape alive... ;-]

• tsmjbbd.exe aka Tivoli Storage Manager. What does it need to be doing at boot time, especially after I just booted this morning and then rebooted to take these statistics? And why so much data? With all those extra virtual memory page faults which cause a trip to disk?
• mcshield.exe aka McAfee VirusScan. Well, if I ever suspected this guy was slowing down my machine, I just caught its absolute resource hogging, nay, resource grand larceny, red-handed. Sucking the life of my laptop right out of it. I know it's domain e-policy and all that, but in my humble opinion, this thing needs to be taken out back and shot with a 12-gauge. That is a lot of resource consumption, no matter how you look at it. No wonder my home "test" PC, safely behind a firewall/router and running no antivirus or antispyware, seems so much more zippy (and actually stays clean). (Won't even discuss my home Mac. That would be unfair.)
• Internet Explorer. Hey, at least it's a known pig. I am a web/database developer, so I've made peace with that. Can't do much about it, except that the damn Deloitte homepage automatically opens 10 minutes after booting, which I'd like to turn off, please. I know how to get to it if I need to...
• SQL Server. I need it for my development work. It's an enterprise database server, so it's just a 900 lb. Microsoft gorilla dancing around the room ::cough:: Ballmer ::cough:: and one just has to accept it. Can't do much about that either... unless I set it up to not run at boot and just run on demand. (Know how I can do that, or somehow defer the loading of it to maybe 15 minutes after booting? I should probably know this, already... but if you think about it, all the clients I visit insist on running it in always-on mode, for some reason... ;) )
• BlackICE. Wait a minute. Doesn't XP SP2 include a built-in firewall? What exactly is BlackICE doing for us, and why is it sucking resources at boot? I am always behind either a router or other fi

Haha, that was funny. For those of you who didn't get it: here

Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!

http://www.ntk.net/ballmer/mirrors.html

Don't forget that the BOFH comes from New Zealand...

Are you related to someone named...what was it...Oh yes. Steve? Steve Ballmer?

Thats a blast from the recent past.
Here's a selection of videos

For kicks (or if you're bored), do a google search on monkey boy ballmer.

Not excited?!?! You need to go to an M$ developers conference! - (MPEG 1.6 meg)

A: Well, really helping developers understand what we got

And Balmer really knows all about that doesn't he?

No. IBM's fatal mistake was that they couldn't sell a heater to an eskimo at the time. I know. I was fired from my seemingly unassailable position in IBM's Research Division for pissing off too many folks internally by calling them on their shit, specifically this. (Anyone on the OS/2 fora on USENET around early May 1991 may remember the "J'accuse" posting slamming IBM's inability to sell anything.)

OS/2 ran Windows 3.1 applications (in Standard Mode even, starting with 2.0...or was that 2.1?) far better than Windows 3.1 ever did.

I recall one time at PC Expo in NYC where Steve Ballmer snuck over to the IBM booth, inserted a floppy into one of the machines running OS/2 and ran a program that used an undocumented API to crash the system. That's how threatened they felt about OS/2 as an operating system. And, yes, I was there when this happened (but given his reputation as the Dancing Monkey Boy I don't think anyone would deny his overzealousness for all things MS).

Ballmerzilla is attacking!

Did anyone else think that the project had broken down?

No, but if this were Microsoft's project, Steve Ballmer would have broken it down long before it even started.

More examples of what not to do... http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html

Here's the blurb from the NTK link above:

Sponsored by backstage.bbc.co.uk, Open Tech 2005 is an informal one-day conference about technologies that anyone can have a go at, from "Open Source"-style ways of working to repurposing everyday electronics hardware. So far, the line-up features: * Ted Nelson, inventor of hypertext, on where the web went wrong * The official launch of the backstage.bbc.co.uk developer network, opening up BBC content for you to play with * Plus: able to record an entire week of all Freeview TV and radio channels, probably the UK's largest (fridge-sized) PVR More speakers will be confirmed over the next few weeks - but, as the title implies, we're very much "Open" to suggestions. If you're reverse-engineering proprietary protocols, making useful information available in a way people couldn't get at before, pioneering unexpected methods of knowledge sharing - or (equally likely) doing something so cool we haven't even thought of it yet, then please get in touch via the submissions form at: http://www.ukuug.org/events/opentech2005/offer/

What a load of rubbish.. this is another "story" straight out of BOFH http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html/. If any helpdesk operator is really going through these troubles with users, then they could do with seeking employment in another industry. You're really not doing your job correctly.

BOFH

And how is it they live in such a delusional world in which they are the only company with the only "worthwhile" products?

And how is it they live in such a delusional world that they would host a convention and introduce their CEO using Gloria Estefan's "Get On Your Feet" as background music? What PR firm came up with that bright idea? You'd think their deep pockets would get them top-notch PR, and not the kind that should come with a barf bag.

Hmm... Seems this guy likes to get EXCITED at these confrences, maybe he just got a little bit over excited this time.

The 1400-word terms and conditions for MSN.CO.UK's strong-IP
"Thought Thieves" film competition are quite the read, even if
you're not the 14-17 year-old they're intended to be read and
understood by and complied with in their therein bywhich
entirety. Entries must be the "sole work and creation of the
person submitting the film" (no sharing your precious
intellectual property fluids with your cameraman, Mr Auteur);
must not "use third party intellectual property rights" (no
furniture, no architecture, only clouds as background);

...

http://www.the-future-of-ideas.com/excerpts/index. shtm - Lessig's book starts at the exact point the T&C gets ridiculous

...bought to you by Llama Man and Monkey Boy!

They've already got the video for The Life of Monkey-Boy. Now with the continual cutback in Longhorn features, etc. presaging the way things will be at Microsoft from now on, maybe we can see The Incredible Shrinking Ballmer?

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html/

that would explain a lot

that's not half as catchy as Ballmer's Developers! Developers!

That would be Dance Monkey-Boy Dance.

If you Google for that phrase, you'll find a couple other interesting things, such as a mock iPod commercial based on it.

http://www.ntk.net/media/dancemonkeyboy.mpg Enjoy.

Thanks! I was wondering if they'd have the monkey dance!

I've seen the BOFH columns in The Register for awhile, and never had a clue what it meant. I figured out the "from hell" part, but "BO"? Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been confused by that column. None of the columns ever seem to explain the acronym, but I did eventually find it.

...and has no recollection of what error messages he may have seen when his machine failed...

So, if the computer knows what the problem is well enough to output an error message, is it too much to expect it to log this information somewhere that an appropriately knowledgeable party can find it later on? Designing systems without this kind of diagnostic facility (and so many other flaws in the modern wintel architecture) seems like an even bigger problem than user ignorance.

I think the problem may lie in This man's behaviour..

If you are BOFH, then take a break. If not, take an MBA.

All you every need to know about IT management can be found right here:

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html [BOFH}

Isn't this what Palladium is all about? http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02002-06-28&l=21#l

This could be really useful for TV broadcasts, particularly news.

I think anybody doing closed captioning already has the descriptive content they need. (Others could use a similar process to create it.)

That info, combined with relatively easily-detectable scene transitions, would make it possible to automate the searchable video file creation to a large extent.

So the CC or equivalent would still have to be done manually but you'd have this extremely useful, huge searchable archive of video.

Not so easy for things that depend on the visual content as opposed to the spoken content, but for news it could be amazing.

Then watch as politicians and captains of industry squirm at the thought that their every word and twitch is available for searching...

creature that is part human and part animal
wow, talk about prior art.....

The best way to secure a job in IT is to make sure they get rid of the other employees before they get rid of you. For more information, consult the "BOFH" Series of educational manuals, which offer hundreds of tips which will help you on your way. Cheers. BZZZRRRT!

Developers. Developers. Developers.

Dear M. Ballmer,
It looks like you failed evenly to FP and in the EEC.
Will this sudden blizzard finally dry your sweat ?

I suggest you get back to what you do best : Dancing and Rhymin !

Enjoy

Back then, my revenge was to sneak up on Steve's Longtime friends and whisper in my best accent, "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile." They hated that.

For some reason I think that conflict between Steve and Linus would go down like this:

Linus: "Steve, I just don't like your idea, honestly I think it -"
Steve: "You... don't like... my idea? *closing in on Linus*"
Linus: "Oh, come on... We are the Borg, we -"
Steve: "OOO OOO OOOAAA *jumps on Linus and squashes him like a pumpkin, then does his little psychotic monkey dance* I am the Borg, I AM the Borg!!! Give it up for meeee, yeah!!!"

Later that day...

Bill: "Steve, another accident?"
Steve: "*shrugs* *can't help smiling*"
Bill: "You think this is funny?!"
Steve: "*his smile turns into a crazy stare*"
Bill: "No, I didn't mean it like that *grin*, it's really no big deal... Uhh, I mean..."
Steve: "*closing in on Bill*"

Due to extremely graphic violence *shrieks of what appears to be a woman being dismembered by a gorilla can be heard in the background* the following scene has been removed from this broadcast, however you can find it on the Steve: Crushing My Crust Soft DVD.

Good lord, I saw some of those Steve Ballmer movies recently. The monkey dance and "Developers, developers, developers, developers" .. the man is really frightening.

Microsoft already perfected this years ago.

From what I've heard, this vaccination includes a little extra preventative medicine for that dangerous recently-diagnosed strain called Firefox Fever. And there's a Linux Laxative just in case the poor kid has seen a little too much Gnome.

Many older kids (2+) have apparently seen a Windows Longhorn bootup screen flash briefly before their eyes, and, in a few rare cases, some kids distinctly remember what appears to be a man who was yelling "Developers, Developers", who has become a godfather-figure ever since.

Of course, they're just kids, so you can't trust everything they say...

This is the second time Slashdot has fallen for an anti-Microsoft joke from a submitter

Uh huh, and Monkey Boy was just a bad dream too right?

I wonder if MS would had more buyers if he did something like this. ;)