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Gifts for Valentine's Day, 2002?
Telemakhos asks: "This was asked last year, and though hardware may come and go in the course of a year, the mid-February question is eternal: What's Geeky and Good for St. Val's this year? Moreover, if roses aren't yet too bleeding-edge, whence is it best to order them?" Guys, while you are suggesting presents for the ladies, aside from the obvious, what would you like for Cupid Day?
Mandrake 8.2 Beta 1 burned on red CD's,
what linux geek wouldn't love getting a beta of a distro burned with love...
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Someone to whom presents may reasonably be given on Valentine's day.
Tarsnap: Online backups for the truly paranoid
My gift for Valentine's day must be hand lotion.
Because my right hand is suffering from dry skin.
*anything* 802.11*a* wireless...
maybe a new iMac too *:^)
Mind the gap...
Sports Almanac 2003 would be nice.
"Guys, while you are suggesting presents for the ladies, aside from the obvious, what would you like for Cupid Day?"
Well, I suppose one or two of them ladies you talk about would be nice. Do they run Linux?
-Shaunak.
Still, it would have been nice...
I think it's a gift option that's always overlooked, primarily because the buyer isn't sure what the recipient would want. But I've always believed that books can be a timeless gift, treasured for years. Whether it be fiction, non-fiction, reference, or a little of each, I know that I always appreciate books. Heck, go to FatBrain to find a huge collection of technical books, or maybe to ThinkGeek for options like fiction, non-fiction, programming reference, and so on. And if you're not sure, DO get a gift certificate for your loved one at a bookstore (or even for the aforementioned websites!). Then they can pick out the books themselves, and they can't hardly go wrong.
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
was to run around school with a small plastic bow and some darts and act like a dumbass. But then I realized that I could probably get arrested for the bow part.
How about for V-day, no tech toys, but a nice evening alone with your lady? Dinner, wine, etc...
but I usually get death threats and restraining orders.
--------
It's OK to be social, just don't tell anyone about it.
Megatokyo Megabear
gotta love that
--IronHelix
ThinkGeek has got a great little baby tee (God why do I love these so much!) It's all black with the words "I love my Geek."
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/apparel/5981.shtml
Very appropriate.
What I would love to have? Get me a nice OpenBSD tee shirt.
A sweet note telling how Emperor Claudius beheaded St. Valentine in 270 CE, and compare this to your relationship somehow.
A girlfriend would be nice, (hey someone had to say it)..
-I can only program my video,ahh, I am not a gook, but a joook -The World is a theatre of the absurd
(Quality(Rose)* totalroses) + Quality(dinner) = total_sex_time
Where Quality() is a seperate program for each chick, based on past total_sex_time :)
"I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
a sgi fuel or sun ultra 80
a high-end gps
scuba diving equipment
a trip to Nepal
a digital photo camera
a car mp3 player
Well, since I already have this to match my boyfriend, nothing would be nicer than another T-shirt to proclaim my geekiness to the world.
And, boys, don't forget to make it a night she won't forget of champagne, roses, chocolates, and patching your kernels together.
"Equal bytes for women!"
i think "the obvious" was referring to having your girlfriend's younger sister give you a blowjob.
She could re-subscribe me to a few magazines and journals. Society membership.
I don't know what to get her, fellatio? Cunning linguists?
Hello Kitty sub-notebook computer powered by the Transmeta Crusoe chip!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/2/17055.html
"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steve Wright
Every time the People's Jewellery Ad comes up on the TV with the heart-shaped diamond pendant, she turns to me and says, "Don't get that for me. No REALLY".
Every year, I look for something that:
a) Is something she wants,
b) Is something that will signify my love for her, and
c) Is something I deem has any value.
Every year, I don't find it, and get her flowers. This always seems okay in the end.
A slashdot that keeps my preferences.
A slashdot that stops posting dup stories.
A slashdot that is in bed with Linux but in bed with BSD.
A slashdot that stops posing old news.
I don't care if you mod me down to a toll.
Explain to me why I should bother wasting my time with a girl. You can't even install Linux on them!
-Stephen
Our new DirecTivo comes in via UPS on Monday :)
----
I became single 1 year ago on Valentynes day. The cold showers arn't working anymore... :(
Not everyone deserves a 320i
A Nice musuem tour would be romantic enough, and still give me a place to make a short movie on the new DV camcorder that she can get me.
I'm not going into details about the other movie I'll make that day, though.
I really hate Dan Patrick.
"Now with that kind of a day, you're sure to get your significant other in the mood for love as John Lee Hooker would say. "
With all THAT food? She/he is going to be seriously ill. Might I suggest an addition? Antacid.
-Shaunak.
As a geek, everyone gets me stuff on every holiday for my computer, but never anything I need. ("Oh, wow, another computer tool set, thanks, I can never have too many of these!" Incidentally, I'm up to 9 sets now). But as a drummer, no one ever thinks of things to buy me, even though I ALWAYS need things! Sticks are always breaking, drum heads always need changing, cymbals always need polishing, wingnut threading eventually wears down...
The best gifts I have ever received have all been drum-related items. Just about anything from Sabian, Tama, and Vic Firth are always welcome gifts to me! Plus, it makes me happy when the significant other in my life actually takes an interest enough in my playing to know what I need and/or want as a drummer.
...a Router shaped like a heart!
Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back!
If you like having a lot of free time to yourself, you might consider buying her a gift from HERE.
Hey, I'm being serious!!
PK: 09F911029D74E35BD84156C5635688C0
Maybe some more bandwidth? A nice new internet server? Ummm?
I am me! - I'm boring like that
Giving me bed time, and water closet reading for weeks to come!
e4 e5
A date with the Frick-meister!
Do they make Athlon XPs in heart-shape? What about red thermal paste?
My girlfriend proposed a 5$ cap on all (total) items purchased this valentines day -- partly to save money, party to spur creativity. Gotta love that. There's no reason whatsoever to blow hundreds of dollars on a Hallmark Holiday.
~jeff
... sounds like it's time to spring for the big diamond ring, buddy, if you want her to stick around till next V-Day. If you're already married, you're home free. Flowers, chocolates, a couple of steaks on the grill with a bottle of cheap wine, just about anything will do.
I suggest the QueerAsFolk first season DVD set. If it's too late to get it.... order up showtime :)
But beyond that... you can also consider gifts that are not just for valentines day... such as a trip to Hawaii (buy your lover the airplane tickets and present them)... or a cruise... or learning how to scuba... etc.
What's Geeky and Good for St. Val's this year?
I'm not sure what my girlfriend is getting this year, but after her last birthday I can assure you that it won't be any sort of kitchen appliance.
You know, you'd think that if she said so many times she wanted a toaster over, she'd appreciate it more.
I'm such a lummox.
--saint
Unfortunately, my g/f's b-day is the 15th (day after valentine's), so I decided to buy us a weekend vacation to New Orleans! That way we both get something in return!
I look forward to reading of someone making millions off this idea.
Something for romantic geeks whose work causes them to spend long nights hacking separately.
Perfect especially if one or both are putting in late nights apart slaving over hot workstations...
2 x wireless linux PDAs
Each PDA has a harness and can be worn inconspicuously under clothing.
Eash PDA is connected to several unique peripherals.
Each such peripheral is thin, flat, about 4-9 square inches, consisting of pressure pads on the top, and vibrating pads on the bottom, and can also be worn inconspicuously under clothing.
When one geek touches one of the peripherals, the pressure pad senses the touch, and sends a message to other geek's PDA, which triggers the vibrating function of corresponding peripheral on their own body, and vice versa.
For instance, male geek can stroke just below his navel, and in response, female geek feels caressing vibrating sensation just below her navel. Female geek then rubs below her left armpit, and male geek feels vibrating sensation under his left armpit.
Advanced software configuration could cause random mappings between geeks, even sending telemetry about blood pressure, body temp etc.
-- In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was UNSIGNED, and the main(){} was without form and void...
I've decided that I'm giving out these. Maybe I'll get lucky and won't have to worry about spending a load of money for an ounce of sex. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Long, cute, or funny Sigs are just another form of over compensation, used by geeks, nerdz, etc.
And your SO is geeky enough to accept and appreciate it...
Make an electronic heart - get a piece of perfboard, a bunch of red LEDs (and other assorted electronic parts - bias resistors, etc) - and wire up a electronic heart.
Use red-flashing LEDs for a trippy effect (might be expensive, but so is a diamond ring). If you are really good set it up to make a rotating pattern with the LEDs (like a marquee). If you want to try something even better, get a 16x1 HD44780 based LCD, a PIC stamp - have the PIC drive everything, put the LCD in the center, and put a scrolling message ("I Love You!" or similar) on it. Or put a picture of you in the middle of it...
One thing I did for Valentines day - because my GF isn't as geeky - was I built an automaton - a box with wheels and belts, pulleys, etc - and waving hearts on the top - powered by a little motor. I made it so you could remove the panels - it was all built out of balsa wood, painted - the whole thing - took about a month to construct and tune. She loves it to this very day (that was a few years back).
Really - anything you take time on, given with your heart - is what you want to give. Something that really says "I love you" - it could be as simple as a card you made - or a piece of jewelry, or a romantic evening out. Take the time and thought - and you will have a day to remember...
Slashdot - the place where you can look like a genius by restating the obvious
Bandwidth is the gift that says you care!
Can you ever have enough?
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Her: "Happy valentine's day!"
You: "Happy valentine's day!"
You: "Here's your valentine's day present!"
(hand her big wide, long, flat box)
Her: (looks at the wrapping) "Oh wow... you got me a pizza
You: "nonono! take off the wrapping!"
(rip rip rip)
Her: (looks at the box) "Oh wow... you got me a big box of chocolates
You: "nonono! open the box!"
(rip rip rip)
Her: (looks inside the box) "Oh WOW!!! YOU GOT ME A RACKMOUNT SERVER!! Let's have sex!!"
You: (air guitar)
I am getting my wife one of these for Valentine's Day. They are called the Erection Collection, and they feature stuff animals with huge, raging, hard-ons. They are around $20.00 each and I bought her Quickie The JackRabbit!
http://www.ercollection.com/home.html
Akn
Take her to your local fondue joint. The Melting Pot has a large number of locations nationwide. She'll appreciate the great dinner, the time you spend with her (dinner takes about 2 hours+ to eat when doing fondue), and its a great chance to talk. Oh and don't forget the great chocolate deserts. mmmmmmmm chocolate. Todd
Like, say, dot-com stock certificate wallpaper.
My wife is majorly into gardening. My most successful Valentine's Day present ever was a dump trailer for her garden tractor.
Her most successful present ever, for me, was a weekend rental of a New Holland front-end loader.
There's romance in that there back yard, I tell ya....
Why not a romantic dinner? Or a trip to Paris, the city of love? If you want to see the real thing, apparently both Dublin, Ireland and Glasgow, Scotland have remains of St' Valentine in churches. They're both great cities (hey, the shopping in its good as well when you've got the spare time).
... your wife is a publisher and the last thing she wants is presents that remind her of work.
Although it can be extremely crash-prone, if you can get a dual-processor implementation of this up and running, the results can be quite spectacular.
("Imagine a Beowulf cluster of those!")
-Mark
(ThinkGeek would be bigger than Amazon.com if it offered mail-order Geek brides.)
== Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====
how about the best chocolates in the world? swiss chocolatier spruengli has the absolute best! check out www.spruengli.ch. you can also place online orders or via email. they ship worldwide via fedex, and believe me, their chocolates beat any belgian crap! that's what i usually get for my (geeky) girlfriend.
Freeze-dried astronaut ice cream, available from NASA, science museums, or camping goods store. You could even include a note about wanting to travel to the stars with her/him.
I noticed this a few days ago over at
The best kind are special hard-cover versions, or leather-bound, or signed by the author, or first run...
I once got "The Hobbit" collector's edition version as a gift (birthday, in this case) and it's still a prized possession.
Of course, my wife "leather-bound" wouldn't be too bad either.
Incoming!!!! (Ducks thrown pillow)
Looking for a Rails developer in Chapel Hill?
Well, what I've done a few times is make love coupons with special things that you'll do for her when redeemed. You could make one thats says "Good for one back massage" or other things like that. Use your imagination.
My girlfriend proposed a 5$ cap on all (total) items purchased this valentines day
But if you are the guy I dont recommend proposing that 5$ cap on the holiday. Might be injurious to your health.
Did the poster of this story even stop to think, for a moment, that this article would probably plunge 50% of the slashdot community, including myself, into a deep deep depression by reminding them how single they are?
..At least my grandma sends me valentines cards
*runs off crying*
Klowner
My geek boyfriend ordered my present the other day - a padded sleeve for my new ibook so I can carry it around in my backpack. I saw it while I was browsing around on the wireless network he set up in the apartment and I said "oooo I want one of those." So he handed me his credit card and said happy valentines day. For my bithday last month I got RAM and x-files dvds. Plus I get flowers and stuff on a semi-regular basis. And he fixes things. I love my geek . Every girl should have one :-)
I think later I'll go to some jewelry sites and see if the "oooo I want that" works again...
As a high school senior, I find I am completely and utterly lacking in anything resembling "nerve", "spine", or "courage". So while a statement to the amazingly attractive, intelligent, insightful girl who sits in front of me in Calculus (hope she doesn't read /.) that she is quite possible the most remarkable person I have ever met would be nice, it's out of the question. So instead I'm sending her an anonymous flower and card through the school "Valey-gram" program, and a box of the Oatmeal Square cereal thingies. Ah well, backbones are for other people, I always say.
Enough with this maudlin Valentine's Day related self-pity - a high-caliber site like slashdot doesn't need the mumblings of a sappy highschooler. I say the best possible gift would be a Furby modded to say "Happy Valentine's Day" in as many different languages as possible.
I'm the stranger...posting to
Just had a thought - would it be possible to make a heart-shaped CD/R that would actually be balanced enough for use? If not, could you build an adaptor like for some odd-shaped CDs, and use that in the drive?
I'm the stranger...posting to
Till this part, I see know problem ...
... our little child awakes (How does he do that!)... and says something like: Lion King?
>Her: (looks inside the box) "Oh WOW!!! YOU GOT >ME A RACKMOUNT SERVER!! Let's have sex!!"
But here's what happens at my place..
We : go to the bedroom.
We: Undress and stuff.
and then
O, well
--- Als de angst oprukt, trekt de logica zich terug.
What the hell is up with openbsd and guns. Is theo running a miltia, will he take over canada and free quebec!
An Education is the Font of All Liberty
Ahh, if both were possible at once... without breaking your neck. Mmmm Solitary head.
-=o
My high school has so many old 486s lying around, the school tech regularly begs me to take one (or two or six) home in order to clear some space. Why not install linux on one, slap some sappy love-related program on it to run at startup, and pre-configure the system. In addition, you could use the stuff at robotstore.com to control a servo motor through the serial port. Use the motor to operate some sort of candy dispenser, and you can have a comp that dispenses a candy every time it boots up! Sound good?
I'm the stranger...posting to
If she needs a big diamond ring to stick around then you dont need her. Girls who consume that much money for sex are called hookers.
Last year, my SO gave me a Palm Vx. That alone was a kind gesture, but he went into the datebook app and set appointments for every 5 minutes for the next TWO YEARS that said "I love you."
"One touch of Darwin makes the whole world kin." George Bernard Shaw
I -still- haven't figured out exactly what to get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day. I'm really glad we don't get competitive with this sort of thing, because she orderd me the Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust DVD, right after getting me a copy of Grand Theft Auto 3. That's pretty damn hard to match.
Fortunately, she's pretty easy to please, so my plans mostly include nice flowers, a cute stuffed animal of some sort (she loves that kind of thing) and dinner at the little sushi place we used to go to when we started dating. I'll also probably burn a mix cd of anime music for her, because she's been saying that she'd like something like that.
Mostly, this holiday reminds me that I need a job again, because last year I got her a fscking huge bouquet of roses, a ruby pendant, and a few other things. It's frustrating to not be able to follow up on that. Oh well, perhaps the economy might recover again by next year.
[insert witty quote here]
So there we were, making out on the couch with the tv on... A microsoft commercial comes up, and my GF's response is to break the kiss and say,
"God I hate XP!"
She's getting 2 dozen roses this year.
Buy a maxed out G4 with 22inch cinema display.
Or go to the NexTech Summit (no link, sorry I forgot it) and give em 100+ gigs of Hardrives, a few gigs of memory and a few heatsinks. All "borrowed" from RentSys (www.rentsys.com)
T Money
World Domination with a plastic spoon since 1984
doesn't it? :)
now of course, maybe that's why i won't be giving any presents this v-day
Its where you can win 3 dates and money! its pretty cool
God spoke to me
Oatmeal sqares? Are you out of your mind? Unless you know for a fact she really prefers them, it's chocolate, baby, chocolate. The flower and Valey-gram are nice in a non-commital, anonymous kind of way, but she won't know it's from you, and besides, she might receive several. The Furby would show off your hacking skills. "Happy Valentine's Day" is not exactly a declaration of undying love, so even if she hates you she would probably think it's cute and keep it. Maybe she's even shyer than you are and waiting for you to make the first move. Actually, for your sake, I hope she does read /.
If there isn't a good geek-inclined pickup bar in the Cambridge/Boston/inside 128 (MA) area, there should be one...
...and if there is, I'd like to know about it.
/Brian
There's more to life than logic, mon amie.
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
Don't buy a card at the store. Instead, break out that old box full of obsolete tech that you can't bear to throw away because you still think you might be able to use it for parts someday. You know, the one with the 28.8 modem, the mismatched cables, the ancient video cards. Pick out something that looks interesting and stick a clever note on it (e.g. "I like the way we connect").
Note: This will probably go over better if you give your homemade "card" to your S.O. during dinner at their favorite restaurant.
Your fantasies contain the seeds of important concepts.
Oh, when you have a valentine that isn't techie. I think I'm gonna end up with books, but probably nothing concerning computers. It's great when you date an english major. Maybe, though, I'll get the rest of the Harry Potter series. They're a quality read.
My /. sweetie's favorite film of all time is Mike Jittlov's Wizard of Speed and Time. He's got a laser disc copy but no disc player, so I got him a copy on VHS (from skinnyguy.com) so we can snuggle up and watch it on Valentine's Day. (I've never seen it all the way through.)
Additionally, I've tried to make the day as simple and stressfree for him; like many geeks I know, he's uncomfortable trying to plan something romantic. I suggested a restaurant I'd enjoy and planned the movie, to ensure he didn't have to worry about what would please me.
only the things you never tried. (I'm sure someone famous said it better, but you get the idea).
Take it from a shy geek who is MANY years out of high school. I don't remember the names of any of the women who turned me down, but I do remember the ones I never asked out.
CE stands for Common Era!
You're using her as bait, Master!
Naturally, this was before Columbine...
Even tech ladies like jewelry! The analytical chemist in my life is getting a diamond ring and dinner at a cozy restaurant.
"Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?"
I want all the people who are so busy trying to convince me I have to give my wife a box of chocolates or a dozen roses for valentines day that they haven't stopped to notice I'm gay and I'm single and I'm damn tired of being reminded of the latter to get dumped by their spouse on the 13th.
I think that would make a perfect valentines day gift for me.
iPod.
And I guess that dual-gigahertz G4 that it's attached to will get you laid for at least a year...
SIGFEH
Well, I'm corny, but what I mainly want is my gift for her to be well recieved. It's so hard to come up with original gift ideas that are good that if she really, honestly likes it, that's one of the best gifts I can get. I mean, you can't _not_ give flowers, but something else must also be given. But besides that, I guess I really like a good massage, and those can be hard to get. My girlfriend hates computers (ugh!), so I think it would a cool pseudo-present for her to let me teach her some computer stuff or at least give them a chance. I think books always go over well, when given in combination with other things. Poetry is good, and so are foreign language books (if both speak the language). I think one important thing to remember for a good Valentine's day is surprise. Whatever the gift, if there is sufficient surprise the effect is amplified. I'm a pianist and composer and my girlfriend like my music so I'm making her a CD of my playing with some other songs she likes, cover art and all that too. I also think I'll make a cheesy card...sometimes humor is good. That is all.
"ph34r my 1337 n3kk1d ski11z!" - largo of megatokyo
preferably one with brains...
I was wondering about some of those native americans at the Olympic opening ceremonies last night. Some were armed. The bow and string looked real enough... couldn't tell about the arrows.
This would, of course, be for the girl that has a nice rack?
:)
No, I didn't even try to resist.
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is... Oops. Frank, I've got your sig again! Where's mine?
A high school senior. God how I envy you.
The path from high-school senior to middle aged man is maddeningly short with plenty of disappointments, triumphs and lots of experience that really kicks you in the nuts.
Make a play for her. Risk embarassment. The truth is that she'll probably blow you off. But at a minimum, you won't look back with regret.
In my sophomore year of college I spent a lot of time with a young lady that I absolutely found the most breathtaking, wonderful girl (woman?). And I didn't ask her out. I spent 9 months with her and didn't have the gonads to just say "Hey, how about you and me go get a pizza tonight". how foolish. Funny how we learn about courage after we don't need it so much.
And understand that marriage, kids, mortgage and career are just as effective prison bars as the keenest steel and thickest walls. You can't go back for so many reasons. You have people who depend on you, from the littlest baby to the people who work for you and depend on you to point them in the right direction every day.
There's every chance I'm the pathetic middle-aged loser you laugh at. There a sure chance you'll be the same thing in 25 years. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt so much. And I suppose the rewards are worth it.
Revel in your time. Have fun. Don't worry so much, you'll do fine. And just ask her out to talk. Movies are a bad first date, unless you think you'll run out of things to say.
There's even a web site dedicated to it! Hint: click on the link labelled "cunnilingus". And whatever you do, don't complain that it smells!
And the men who hold high places must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality... closer to the heart
How many geeks you know that have girlfriends/wives? I can count the ones I know on one hand. Just remember: "Chicks dig UNIX!"
I've been asking Santa for a matter transmitter for years...
I guess I could ignore my disinterest in Valentine's Day if I got one of those...
What kind of sick fucks are women that they want us to demonstrate affection by ripping the sex organs off of plants and presenting them as gifts? I mean, think about it...
Of course, in all seriousness, the most of the employees at my local florest know my AmEx number by heart now...
Help save the critically endangered Blue Iguana
Yes, I too wasted most of high school not asking girls out, but once I did start asking them out, I have never gone for more than a month without a girl (lifting weights has helped with that too...).
"The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than that of whether a submarine can swim" -EWD
I'd personally have to suggest to buy yourself one of these for the big V day. (especially if you ARE still a big V!) Sure, its going to be a one time charge of $6,000, but just imagine how much a potential "surprise" is going to cost from one of those female creatures, much less the mini-van and other sort of things to go with it. It never has a headache either, and doesn't get mad at you if you forget any of those important days. The best part is that it doesn't whine about you spending all weekend playing Counter-Strike or Everquest and eating leftover pizza instead of taking her out to dinner.
:)
In the long run, that $6K would be a very good investment, as it would serve two purposes. The aforementioned duties, and it would also scare off any potential females who's compatibilty problems you're trying to avoid in the first place.
</cynical bastard mode >
I'm only kidding, but hey, laugh!
How about a plush Cthulhu?
I got my Linux laptop at System76.
I've compiled a bunch of pictures of my girlfriend and me into a divx movie, set to background of one of her favorite love songs. OK, I admit it, it was "I've Got You, Babe." Go ahead, laugh, I can't hear you!
Boy, if this thing ever gets out on the internet...
But if anybody's actually interested, I used FadeToBlack to the main work, and then I fine-tuned it with audio and encoded it using VirtualDub. It took awhile, but that was mainly looking for decent tools.
Well, that's it. I don't know if she'll actually like it. She'll probably decide she looks fat in all the pictures. That's why I got chocolate and a bear, too.
Thank goodness she's an English major and has no interest in /. at all.
String some resistors, colored wires, LEDs, etc. on ear wire to create geek chic jewelry. I've seen some really nice stuff that would even appeal to non-geeks.
Choose to devote your life to creating new things, not tearing down other peoples' creations. That will make you much more attractive in the eyes of women, friends, and colleagues alike.
Whatever you may think of Bill Gates, he's not the second coming of Genghis Khan, and his company doesn't warrant the degree of emotional and intellectual commitment that you, and countless other unloved, unlaid Slashdotters, devote to its destruction. Instead, consider the possibility that you'll look back forty or fifty years from now and wonder why you have so little to show for the passions of your youth.
Dahlmann tightly grips the knife, which he may have no idea how to use, and steps out into the plain.
...and needs to be mounted!
:)
I too, could not resist!
"This must be a Thursday, I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
The "color matters" bit cannot be stressed enough. I learned this the hard way.
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
What kind of sick fucks are women that they want us to demonstrate affection by ripping the sex organs off of plants and presenting them as gifts? I mean, think about it...
Their appreciation of your gift is inversely proportional to the gift's usefulness... They think "Awww it's so sweet that he blew 80 bucks on something so practically useless and will die and disappear forever after a few days!"
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
... she got a beef we'll chew the fat
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me!
I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? Kind of... North Carolina
Women are like dog doo hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX, smart like Janeane Garafolo
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me!
I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina
Vagina VAGINA VAGINA!!
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Props to BHG for this lovely masterpiece (3.14)!
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Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.
For instance, male geek can stroke just below his navel, and in response, female geek feels caressing vibrating sensation just below her navel. Female geek then rubs below her left armpit, and male geek feels vibrating sensation under his left armpit.
Yeah Right! As if it were somehow possible to acquire/wear one of these things, you'd be putting them under your ARMPIT... heheh You kill me!
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.
It's those biathletes you really have to worry about.
And strangely (or not), it's sold out... Slashdotted the inventory, perhaps?
Hmm nice idea.
I want to start simple though, can't overwhelm the poor girl too quickly. I'm still trying to ween her off of Windows XP!
How about a nice lovely evening with nothing but you, me and Linux ?
Perfect for the chocolate loving geek of your choice. In dark, milk, or white chocolate. http://www.chocolatebymueller.net/Merchant2/mercha nt.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=CBM&Category_Code=EAW CM
Yeah, but I'm reminded of when the boy child was going out with TWO hot women. When asked how to choose, Al replied (I'm paraphrasing):
"Doesn't matter. Whichever one you end up with, the other immediately becomes hotter, smarter, and less intrusive."
Of course, nobody on THIS site has that problem, but...
ceci n'est pas un sig.
Speaking as a former biathlete, I'd rather meet up with 20 pissed off biathletes than one showing-off-for-his-friends football player.
The next Cmdr Taco duplicate will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
Whatever happened to making your own Valentines? I'm a geekette and have been creating my own Valentines from scratch for years. Anyways, most guys prefer home baked mushroom clouds (from the Fallout manual) or chocolate éclairs or handmade cards to the store bought variety. I have friends who have kept my valentines cards for years! Geeks ought not to buy cards because they are creative people and can produce much better things with Photoshop or Bryce or whatever else. If you make a card, it shows the girl that you really care and are willing to put effort into things.
Enough of my rambling; what I want for Valentine's Day is the shirt from ThinkGeek that says, "I Love My Geek."
Blessed are the geeks for they shall Internet the Earth.
How about a /. article asking someone to marry you? ;-)
Oh, yeah I gotz the last post!