Subversive Gifts for New College Students?

openyourmind asks: "A friend's daughter is going to college, and I want to send her a package to help her in school. What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college? I have already included a lockpick set, a UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package. What else? Legal items only, please."

Comments

Camera

[TellarHK]

One of those micro-sized Pen-cams or something along those lines. Just perfect for breaking into the professors offices and snapping shots of tests.

Re:Camera

[darkonc]

Just perfect for breaking into the professors offices and snapping shots of tests.

Yeah.. It'd go real nice with the lockpick set.
Not that I want to be nitpicky, or anything, but aren't burglery tools considered illegal in most jurisdictions? Perhaps they're only to help her 'make backups of her dorm room contents'?

Re:Camera

[bluGill]

Yeah, but only if you intend to use them in a burglery, as opposed to use them for something legal. So if you only use them because a couple lock picks will replace the hundreds of keys you otherwise need, you are okay. (but try to convince a court that you actually need 100 keys as a part of your normal life, and so a lockpick is really easier)

Personally I think this is just another stupid law, but the people I vote for tend to not be ellected. Maybe because they might keep their promise of less goverment even though it gets rid of the programs that benifit their constitutes...

Re:Camera

[jandrese]

Better be careful with blanket statements. I know at least in my area merely owning lockpicks without a valid license can land you in jail. As always, be sure you know the laws in your area and any place you plan to travel to. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Re:Camera

[Rorschach1]

I think you're right - it's all about your local jurisdiction. I hope they don't count improvised tools, as I've got a rake and torsion wrench here on my desk that I use for the cabinets and breaker boxes. It's amazing how easy it is to pick cheap wafer locks - it rarely takes me more than 15 seconds to lock or unlock one.

Re:Camera

[Anonymous Coward]

As a citizen of the most litigated society ever, I find the old saying 'ignorance is no exuse", though legally true, hard to swallow. I would be surprised to find a law student who was aware of more than 50% of our national and local laws.

Re:Camera

[H310iSe]

Lockpicks are a clear violation of the DMCA as a circumvention tool.

Re:Camera

[zteknofreak]

actually i was just looking for a lockpick set the other day and had this question. in almost every state it's only illegal to have a lockpick set if [this is the important part] if the intent to use it maliciously can be proven. from the mit lockpicking guide for example: http://www.lysator.liu.se/mit-guide/appendixB.html

Re:Camera

[z_gringo]

I agree. Ignorance is no excuse for the law....

Re:Camera

[TheCarp]

I will take the other side... little of this is good.

Part of being in colledge is NOT having this stuff. What good is it if you come in with it already? Improvising lock picks (if your into that sort of thing, I probably would have been if I stayed in school longer)

Sure you could send her off with a lockpick, a glass bong, a computer with all the latest whizbangs, aq kick ass stereo, a soldering iron etc etc.... but what fun is that? I often lookj back a tthose years and the shit we used to improvise to hget a job done and really apreciate the shit I have accumulated over the years...

I would never go back to clipping wires off the piezo speaker element of a cheap $10 alarm clock and hooking it to my stereo, or smoke my pot out of a cheap ass metal bowl these days (I have a nice alarm clock - evenb tho I quit using it except when I have a morning meeting) and I exclusivly uses glass bowls now... I still am glad I started out where I did.

I say send her off with a toolbox full of simple shit like a hammer and screw drivers, a cheap soldering iron from radio shack, a roll of duct tape
and let her have her fun! Remember... McGyver's defining characteristic was that he ALWAYS had to improvise, he NEVER had the "right tool".

-Steve

Re:Camera

[cscx]

Sure you could send her off with a lockpick, a glass bong, a computer with all the latest whizbangs, aq kick ass stereo, a soldering iron etc etc.... but what fun is that? I often lookj back a tthose years and the shit we used to improvise to hget a job done and really apreciate the shit I have accumulated over the years...

I'd have to add that bongs (and paraphenailia) and soldering irons (or any other type of "exposed heating element" type-of-thing) usually fall under the "prohibited" list.

On the other hand, he shouldn't forget to send her condoms. LOTS and LOTS of CONDOMS! (Remember, guys don't usually have one, do they?)

Re:Camera

[zorander]

I find it amusing that we have this whole discussion to determine that lockpicks are only illegal if intent is there to use them illegaly....this is a moot point...breaking and entering into your professor's offices is illegal therefore sending someone lockpicks to use for this purpose is as well :)

Brian

Re:Camera

[BreakWindows]

As a citizen of the most litigated society ever, I find the old saying 'ignorance is no exuse", though legally true, hard to swallow. I would be surprised to find a law student who was aware of more than 50% of our national and local laws.

They like it that way. Consider it a loophole to censorship and first-ammendment violations. If they don't like what you're saying, chances are there's something they can pin on you. And, once your tucked away in a prison, you're derided as a "felon" and discredited. Mention Mumia Abu Jamal in a conversation and watch how fast the eyes roll (even though someone confessed to the murder for which he was convicted).

Not to say all the dumb laws are part of a grand elaborate scheme...some of them are genuine and sincere fuckups. Others are just a misunderstanding of the repercussions. Still others are paid for by people looking to make a buck. But there are quite a few that serve no purpose other than to control desent.

Re:Camera

[robbieduncan]

"Jaywalking" is not a crime in the UK.

Re:Camera

[Rorschach1]

I did something similar with an old fuse box once, but the panel slipped as I was taking it off and dropped right across a couple of hot fuse sockets. Made quite a 'pop' and vaporized a bit of the panel... could've been worse, I guess, but I felt pretty stupid at that point.

Re:Camera

[cscx]

Heh, don't worry, I brought mine, just kept it out of the RA's sight ;-)

Condoms

[Bozovision]

Definitely.

Re:Condoms

[Havokmon]

And a note to stay away from the Semisid..

Doesn't work.. Trust me.

Re:Condoms

[Havokmon]

How did I find out Semisid didn't work? Isn't it obvious? (check out my web site..) :P

Re:Condoms

[global_diffusion]

condoms are free at colleges. I recommend a vibrator. Like a Hello Kitty Vibrator.

Re:Condoms

[rot26]

Semisid is more expensive than condoms.

And it tastes like fucking soap.

Re:Condoms

[Anonymous Coward]

We did too when I was in college (early 90s). The problem was that they gave us Lifestyles, which which were the only brand to fail Consumer Reports testing. Thanks for caring, U of Md.

Re:Condoms

[slaker]

Gads, that's awful.
What about those of us who are allergic to latex?!?

Re:Condoms

[kirn_malinus]

and band aids. i would have never thought to get myself band aids, but the first time i cut myself on something in my computer and was bleeding all over the place i was very happy that mommy had.

Re:Condoms

[Moonshadow]

What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college?

Laid?

Re:Condoms

[jafac]

Actually, I think that those of us who are allergic to latex are going to increase as numbers - it's a survivability trait. Darwin sez - those who are not allergic to condoms. . . DON'T REPRODUCE!

Re:Condoms

[joib]

...
And maybe a gift certificate to Blowfish [blowfish.com]

Hey!! There's that funny looking OpenBSD fish!! ;-)

And what, dental dams? What kind of retarded idea is that? Sheesh...

Re:Condoms

[akruppa]

> condoms are free at colleges. I recommend a vibrator. Like a Hello Kitty Vibrator

Didn't you read the article heading? It says "from the tools-for-use-outside-of-the-box dept."

Alex

Re:Condoms

[UncleFluffy]

Heh. The year I started uni, one of the other universities in town handed out safe sex leaflets to all the freshers, complete with a condom ... *stapled* to the front.

Keg tapper

[billmaly]

And a fake ID. Nuff said.

How about...

[Binestar]

You can always give her a can of Mace and a stun gun, depending on which college she is going to of course.

Re:How about...

[wcb4]

And finally a note on the electoral college -- you consider this anti-democratic, but it is there for a reason: in their wisdom, our Founding Fathers recognized that without such a mechanism, a few large states would govern the outcome of elections, and smaller states would have no voice at all. Doesn't sound very democratic, does it?


Our Founding Fathers thought that the average American was too stupid to make an informed decision and run their own government. The point of the electoral college was that you would vote for people smarter than you who would elect the President of the United States of America for you.

The same basic premise also goes for your legislators, while they are elected directly now, they were at one time chosen by your state government. Again, you elect people smarter than you to run your locality for you, they elect people smarter than themselves to run the country.

While electoral votes are not distributed exactly the same as actual voting population, (same as the number of senators + representatives from your state, since the number of representatives is determined by state population, its only the fixed number of senators that skews the numbers) but the same large states still can sway an election, either through electoral votes or popular votes. That is why you will see the candidates of all major parties campaign like crazy in California and New York, and they might make a stop in Alaska.

Its not a matter of the wisdom of our founding fathers, but the ignorance of our great-great-great-great (etc) grandfathers that caused this system. They simply thought the average American was too stupid, and you know what? They were right, and nothing has changed over the years.

That said. America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others

Lockpick? That's not legal everywhere

[Software]

It's classified as a "burglar tool", IIRC

The real question is...what can she get for you?

[Hee Hee Hee]

Some of the most interesting items I've found have been on and around college campuses. Ask her to send YOU some stuff, once she gets settled in there.

Legal Items only?

[ralico]

That takes all the fun out of it!

Seriously, if you are looking to get her something that she can't afford on her own, may I suggest a pda? I sure wish I had one, esp to remind me of my projects and homework due.

Re:Legal Items only?

[Target Drone]

With a PDA you can transfer memos, contacts, crib notes, etc. to this watch

It's very handy because most profs don't suspect a thing when you look at your watch during a test.

Re:Legal Items only?

[r00tarded]

i found an abundance of 'pencils' and 'paper' on campus, they are excellent for keeping track of such things.

Re:Legal Items only?

[Rudeboy777]

I second the PDA vote. I honestly believe my GPA would have been a few points higher if I had had one in university. It doesn't have to be expensive, you can pick up a used Palm III or Handspring Visor (or Agenda VR3) off eBay for a song.

Re:Legal Items only?

[GregWebb]

Speaking from experience, I can and do regularly take comprehensive and comprehensible notes on a Psion 5mx, which can then be filed, sorted, printed, e-mailed, combined into larger documents... Real pity they don't sell them any more.

Re:Legal Items only?

[MartinB]

Don't forget the keyboard attachment with that Palm III - taking notes with Graffiti is never going to be practical. Plus, the Palm kbds fold up in a really cool way...

wrist bands

[Deanasc]

A case of those wrist bands they let you wear to show you're over 21 to drink at the bar. Every color and striping.

Re:wrist bands

[purpledinoz]

Wristbands, This is definitely a must! And a some solvent to wash away the marks they put on your hands with a big black marker.

Condoms.

[Dr. Zowie]

Well, so they're available virtually everywhere anyway in college, but STDs are still rampant on many college campuses. Even if you foolishly believe she'll stay celibate, it's better for her to have 'em on-hand and give 'em away than to not have 'em around if something, er, pops up.

well...

[beleg777]

Back in college I always wanted a girlfriend. since you're talking about a girl that probably doesn't apply, but anyway.

Re:well...

[Anonymous Coward]

When I was in college, lots of girls had girlfriends.

Lockpicks

[NickRob]

I hope you gave her a set of normal picks. Those ones that you get spam for won't work. Oh... instructions would be good

Also, I found the best thing I had was a TV tuner. That way I could watch the cable provided by dorms and places, but not have to move a TV. I could also watch TV and chat and stuff. It was really nice.

I've also heard it's great to have a really good, thick dictionary, butI've just used dictionary.com. (it's not perfect, but it gets the job done)

Re:Lockpicks

[FireballFreddy]

Forget a dictionary, just a link to OneLook is fine. Good for both spelling and definitions, I use it almost daily.

For subversives:

1. Wireless camera constantly recording to her computer. Or maybe motion-activated. *shrug* Catch those damn dorm-thieves in the act.
2. Motion-Sensor light aimed toward the door. Maybe the light will scare them off. If not, it'll help the camera take a better picture. ;)
3. Water-balloon slingshot. Especially good for launching pudding cups and/or eggs out windows at people, cars, and loud swans.
4. In response to all the condom posts... if you really value this chick, buy her ass a chastity belt.
5. Leather pants. You can't be subversive without a good, tight pair of leather pants. Plus they look hot on chicks. Although the lock on the chastity belt might make an unsightly bulge...

-FF

Re:Lockpicks

[Cpt_Kirks]

Although the lock on the chastity belt might make an unsightly bulge

You mean, like the one I have now thinking about chicks in leather pants?

Re:Lockpicks

[Rorschach1]

A good TV tuner is also critical if you spend much time in hotel rooms. Many common pay-per-view systems can be defeated with one of these, Spectravision and Lodgeview are both vulnerable to this. Just disconnect the cable input to the addressable decoder (you may need to use a car key to get the F-connector sleeve off), plug it in to your tuner/converter, and plug that into the TV. On the systems I've encountered, the channels ARE NOT SCRAMBLED. Pay channels 1-8 show up on something like 51-58... just tune around. Your off-the-shelf converter doesn't tattle on you, so the front desk doesn't know you're watching lesbian soft porn all night.

Some places you don't even need to bring the converter - just bypass the box and use the TV's tuning.

Re:Lockpicks

[KittyFishnets]

A chastity belt? Well, that explains why she needs lockpicks...

Re:Lockpicks

[jsprat]

5. Leather pants. You can't be subversive without a good, tight pair of leather pants. Plus they look hot on chicks. Although the lock on the chastity belt might make an unsightly bulge...

So, what good is the chastity belt when it comes with a lockpick included?

Re:Lockpicks

[Xenopax]

My roommate in college built a "security system" involving a web cam and several dozen feet of stereo wire, and a few paperclips. Basically he built a circuit through the door, and when it was broken it would start snapping pictures and post them on a website on his computer. We figured we could use it to catch thieves, until we realized that if they stole his computer all our evidence went with them. :-(

Personally I think we would have been better off running the camera up to the window of the female room above us, but that's just me. ;-)

Re:Lockpicks

[Dun Malg]

Most jurisdictions forbid the possession of lockpics by those other than licensed locksmiths and law enforcement.

Most jurisdictions don't even have a licensing program for locksmiths, much less require such a license to posess lock picks. I'm a locksmith and here in Los Angeles we only need a city permit for our key duplicating equipment (because burglars used to buy $800 key cutters before that, right?) and a state resale #. There is no state licensing for locksmiths. Associated Locksmiths Of America members have been debating for years whether to lobby for mandatory licensing, but so far most states require no certification whatsoever.

Re:Lockpicks

[WhoCouldItBe]

er...California DOES have a licensing program.

From CA Business and Professions Code 6980.42:
"Within seven days after commencing employment, any
employee of a locksmith who is not currently registered with the
bureau and who is performing the services of a locksmith shall submit
to the bureau a completed application for registration, two
classifiable fingerprint cards, one set of which shall be forwarded
to the Federal Bureau of Investigation for purposes of a background
check, and the appropriate registration fee."

More complete info at http://www.dca.ca.gov/bsis/locksmith.htm

Re:Lockpicks

[Dahan]

Registration isn't the same as licensing.

Re:Lockpicks

[civilizedINTENSITY]

So, what good is the chastity belt when it comes with a lockpick included?

Maybe motivation to actually learn to use the lockpick?

Re:Lockpicks

[peddrenth]

And how do you propose to get the thieves' photos off the hard-drive once they've stolen your computer?

Get something useful, like a cable-lock to chain your computer to the wall. If you're in a rough area, then get one of those steel cases they use to secure sun-workstations.

--!!

sidecutters

[J4]

a small pair of sidecutters will always be useful

Re:sidecutters

[digitalmuse]

sidecutters are another name for what most people refer to as diagonal shears or dykes .

which may or may not prove useful in removing the leather pants if no one sent her a set of lockpicks...

Demotivators, baby.

[2Flower]

You can't go wrong with Demotivators in calendar or poster form. Heck, every one even lists 'disaffected students' as an ideal target audience!

Okay, so they're not illegal, but they'll give your bright-eyed student a glimpse at the future of things to come after they start actively using your other gifts...

Re:Demotivators, baby.

[SMN]

I'll second that recommendation. I bought the demotivators calendar for 2002, it's great, both for the pictures/slogans (this month: "Elitism -- It's lonely at the top. But it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom). I'll be starting college this fall, and I'll be taking that with me.

Another neat item that I'll take along is my lava lamp. IMHO, no college dorm is complete without one; it just conveys the right attitude. They're not too expensive, either. Be sure to pick a color combination that fits the student's personality, too.

Re:Demotivators, baby.

[ObviousGuy]

Gotta recommend against the lava lamp. First of all, every freshman thinks that those lamps are the queen's shit, when in fact they are pretty poor at anything other than being a beer-warming hazard. Second, everyone else will have them, what's the point?

Here are my recommendations of non-essential items:

1) 10g Fish tank. Use 4 milk crates to prop it up and cover the crates with some sort of cheap flea-market tapestry. Black light works especially well for effect. Note: don't keep a lot of fish, you don't want to clean the damn thing all the time.

2) Small table. Excellent for putting your beer on.

3) Couch (love seat). Buy at local flea market. Split the cost with your roommate and carry it back together (or rent a truck), it's a good bonding experience especially considering that you'll probably end up hating each other by the end of the year.

4) Mini fridge. Keeps beer cold, good place to put reading lamp.

5) Reading lamp. You didn't think you'd get out of college without reading did you? Playboy is okay, but Hustler and Club are real monkey spanking material.

Those are only a few things that I'd recommend for the freshman-to-be.

Also, when meeting other freshmen, especially girls, remember that they are as frightened and disoriented as you. They are looking for someone to hold onto to guide them through their delicate college years. Introduce yourself and get in their pants before the upperclassmen get to them (you have about 2 weeks at the most, 4 days max for really cute girls).

The main thing I would wish ...

[warmcat]

... is that my Father had better choice in his friends, so that I would not be the target of this attempt at being turned into a Dark Angel ripoff by someone old enough to know better than to use younger folks for their vicarious thrills.

Re:The main thing I would wish ...

[Reality Master 101]

Damn straight. Here's an idea: Why don't you ask your FRIEND what he would like you to send to "subvert" his daughter.

What an asshole. With friends like that, who needs stalkers. Why do I have the feeling that this "friend" is hoping the daughter will gratefully fulfill some sick fantasy of his.

Re:The main thing I would wish ...

[morgajel]

I think the poster was using "subversive" in a lighthearted fashion... you know, the stuff her parents might not like her having, like condoms and beer. he's trying to prepare her for the real world, not her parents fantasy world.

Supposing you have a girlfriend, does she follow her parents ideals? when my girlfriend told her mom she wanted on the pill... well, let's just say the next family dinner was a little uncomfortable.

some people here can't quite read between the lines.

Re:The main thing I would wish ...

[cduffy]

Huh? I don't get that impression at all. The goal isn't to "subvert" her, but rather to give her some subversive toys... very (very!) different thing. The suggestions given -- stuff like lockpicks, or (my suggestions) an ice-crushing blender and a good book on making mixed drinks -- are harmless, and reasonable sort of stuff to give to a friend.

Just because he's doing this doesn't mean there's anything inappropriate going on, either. I had friends from home send me packages for the helluvit when I was in college; and some of my good friends have a young daughter who's like a niece to me -- I could easily see giving her something when she goes off to college. Doesn't mean I'm some kind of creep, just a friend of the family.

From the horses mouth...

[Entropy_ah]

As a student currenty in his third year of college, I have one suggestion....
MONEY!!!!

Recording

[handsomepete]

I know it's cliched, but I would've liked to have had one of those handheld tape recorders for lectures. I had no problems listening in high school, but college somehow weakend that ability in me. Being able to take notes after class is a good thing.

Re:Recording

[4of12]

Better: a diligent roommate that's willing to go to those early classes in the rain, turn in your homework, get the new assignment, and let you see their legible classnotes after you finish sleeping in.

This is the big one:

[cardshark2001]

A bunch of HP printer cartridges. Those damn things were exPENsive! I couldn't afford them as a student.

well now...

[SGDarkKnight]

mac and cheese... lots of it... 3 years worth is usually good... and gone within the first few months...

Re:well now...

[Cheeko]

A bottle opener (one of the good metal ones), a lighter and a case of Ramen, should be handy as well.

Re:well now...

[cmpalmer]

My college roommate ate on about $0.50 per day -- bowl of Captain Crunch (economy size box) for breakfast, half a box of mac and cheese for lunch, the other half for supper, one or two multi-vitamins a day to make it a "balanced meal". Of course, that doesn't count the several gallons of beer on weekends.

Re:well now...

[jonnythan]

A case of ramen? Better make it a cord.

Re:well now...

[btellier]

jesus i gotta meet the girl who can do that.. talk about a Snapper.

Re:well now...

[cancrman]

A Big Wheel.

Yep, one of those plastic trycycles. Loads of fun. Use an empty 12 pack of beer for a helmet. Put a skateboard under the bike to 'turbocharge' it.

Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[Anomolous Cow Herd]

A lockpicking set? Good God, man, read up on the law before you do shit like that! The people who carry those (locksmiths) have to be specially licensed to do so. Otherwise, it's quite easy to get arrested for carrying what could only be tools for breaking and entering. There is nearly no "dual use" with such devices: if something is locked, it was probably meant to stay that way unless you have the key.

What are you planning on your friend's daughter doing, anyway? The included LED light sounds like you're hoping for a career in burglery. What in the world would you be doing with these at college? I went through 4 years of undergrad and 5 more years to get my PhD in CS, but I never found myself having to break into other people's property.

Besides, the gun nuts (no offense intended) at this site will tell you that one of the best ways to get shot and killed is to break and enter on an armed person's premesis.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[Wolfstar]

Perhaps it's to solve the most common reason why an RA will learn to despise the ground you walk on: Running out of your room real quick and having the locked door blow shut on you with your keys inside.

Believe it or not, people can carry a small pick set in their wallet, which they're far more likely to remember than their keys. (At least, I am.) Being able to get back into your dorm room at 4am because you have lockpicks and don't have to wake up the RA who has a 7:30am class the next day is pretty damned close to priceless.

LED flashlight is nice because the batteries will damned near last forever.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[penguinboy]

There is nearly no "dual use" with such devices

Are you trying to say that an individual couldn't own locks and a lockpick set at the same time?

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[Stoutlimb]

"Are you trying to say that an individual couldn't own locks and a lockpick set at the same time?"

Yes.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[Pete (big-pete)]

Erm - why not just carry a spare key in your wallet instead?

(assuming of course you don't have a bunch of doors you're responsible for instead of just the one...)

...Doh - just as I was typing this, I had a bit of an idea...you lose your wallet, someone finds it, and knows who you are - and probably where you live without too much additional difficulty...and now they have a key. A lockpick would make things ever so slightly more difficult for them, so it might be a valid alternative.

Ho hum - gonna post this anyway... :)

-- Pete.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[mindstrm]

In MOST states, it is legal to have a lockpick set.

You don't have to be registered, or specially licensed.
In mnay places, there is no such thing as a 'registered' locksmith. If you open locks for poeple for money, you are by definition a locksmith.

The statutes often don't define locksmith.

There is dual use with those devices. They are used to open locks, including your own locks, or locks of buildings you have legit access to but misplaced your key.

Lockpick sets are quite legal in many places.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[Fat Casper]

Erm - why not just carry a spare key in your wallet instead?

It's not just the identity thing, it's the DO NOT DUPLICATE that's on every dorm key in the world. The pick set is the easiest way to have a backup key, which is a legitimate reason to hand the fascists who make you justify such things.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[Bob Uhl]

The DO NOT DUPLICATE isn't that much of a problem--one can generally find a locksmith who'll do it for a little extra consideration. That's the way the world works.

But lockpicks are several orders of magnitudes cooler.

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[skt]

And correct me if I am wrong.. but don't you have to be training in something like locksmithing even to be able to use something like a lockpick set? What would be the purpose of a lock if normal people could get their hands on special hardware to be able to open most locks without special training? Isn't the purpose of the lock to keep people out of the room?

Re:Are you sure you meant "legal"?

[reemul]

That's why you buy some of those lame plastic things to put over the top of the key - they're supposed to make it easier to tell one key from another, but what they are really good for is covering up the do-not-duplicate warning. If the clerk can't see it, he won't abide by it.

It's Really Quite Simple

[ScumBiker]

Cash. The best gift ever. It's all I really wanted when I went. I'm giving my half sister cash for her going away to college gift. I sure as hell ain't gonna give her condoms.

Re:lockpick set?

[Phoenix]

Actually they are not illegal to own...I got a set when I took that DIY locksmithing course.

I make a butt load of money at the beach. Paid for a merchant's license, posted my cell phone number and I get 4 calls a day from morons who lock thier keys in the car at the beach...and since the beach is a barrier island that it 40 minutes from the nearest locksmith, I can charge half of thier price and I get them on thier way in 20 minutes or less.

Hell, go to lockpicks.com and you can get whatever you need.

It's legal, but they usually add to the crime if you commit a crime with those devices.

Things I Couldn't Get in College

[Grip3n]

Laid

Re:Things I Couldn't Get in College

[Xenopax]

I hope This guy saw this comment and moderation. :-)

Gift Ideas

[gururise]

A Lockpick set is probably illegal (depending upon which state she attends college in). In California, for instance, it is illegal for any person to posses a lockpick set without being a licensed locksmith.

Other great ideas would be a Sharp Zaurus SL-5500 with an 802.11b card and the kismet wireless sniffing software. Great for wardriving, or just walking around the dorms, sniffing for open networks.

The other thing you should consider is, are these the values you want to instill in a new college student? Sure hacking, and messing around can be fun, but in today's society, there is a fine line between having fun and breaking the law!

Gururise

What I wish I had taken

[unicron]

After one year in college, my stupid ass got the boot. I had to leave my girl, and I wish someone would've sit me down and said "You will never meet another one like this again. She's beautiful, intelligent, wonderfully cynical, interesting, fun, and for some reason she's in love with your stupid ass. So don't fuck it up. Go to class, study, pay attention. I know that this freedom is going to be knew to you, but you have to remain a bigger person and control it. Just because you can skip class and not get busted by anyone doesn't mean you should. Watch the partying. Tomorrow is going to come no matter what, do you want to be well rested and still have your money or hung over and broke? Pick your friends carefully. Choose those that know how to have a good time but know when it's time to sit up and hit the books. And always remember: Theatre Majors are the epitome of laziness."

Re:What I wish I had taken

[griblik]

Took me three years to get that far.

I fucked it up too.

The biggest gift you could give would the space to make her own mistakes. Lost the girl, got a pants degree, and I'm still doing better than most of the people I went to Uni with.

There's time to be well rested (never had any money as a student) when you're old. You'll never have time to be young again.

Re:What I wish I had taken

[zerocool^]

Dude. Don't worry. It can still work out for you.

I was in same boat - go to school as engineer, fail because it's so fucking hard, and i had so much freedom to... not go...

I look back now and realize several things:

1.) the time i spent hanging out with the girl, ensuring that the girl stayed with me, i should have spent studying, and as a result, i would have done better, stayed in school, and still been with her. I realize now, had I not failed out, we'd still be together. (read on)

2.) The time that i took off of school, i thought at first was permanant. I was workin 40 a week for the man and i hated my life. I finally realized that in order to do something i was going to have to go to college. So i went back.

3.) Also in the time i took off, i realized something: I would rather do something that i love with my life than something that everyone thinks i should do because i'm "the computer nerd". I switched from engineering to history, and i'm going to be a high school history teacher. For right now i'm a network admin, but it's not what i want to do for the rest of my life.

4.) If i hadn't failed out, i would have never lost the girl and found THE GIRL. THE GIRL (for she deserves all caps status) is awesome. She likes beer, sex, football, computer games, and dinner. She's 6 feet tall, so i don't have to bend over to kiss her. She's pretty much perfect, and she loves me. Don't count on the fact that you missed THE GIRL, you could have only missed the girl.

It still can work out.

~Will

Re:What I wish I had taken

[squaretorus]

She's pretty much perfect, and she loves me.

And if she reads that she'll kick you so far into space you'll make Rocket Man look like a kid with fireworks!!

Chicks are never 'pretty much' anything - they are ALWAYS perfect (until the dump you then you append the word 'whoore'

Re:What I wish I had taken

[zerocool^]

THEGIRLaim: btw tell that guy on slashdot THE GIRL prefers not to be"perfect" thanks
THEGIRLaim: :-)

names changed to protect the innocent.
~will

Huh?

[blankmange]

What kind of a friend is this? Where is she going to college? As noted here in previous posts, in most states a lockpick set is illegal if found on your person. You listed a couple of other items, but didn't really say what she would need them for -- when I went to college, I needed a decent PC and printer, an internet connection and a place to live - everything else was gravy.....

Anybody else think this is screwy?

subversive items?

[mosch]

To help her financially, I suggest giving her the glassware and precursors required to synthesize MDMA.

To help her socially, I suggest a bong, the barware neccessary for mixing drinks a bit better than most college kids do, and a decent stereo.

To help her medically, I suggest condoms and umm... more condoms.

Re:subversive items?

[symbolic]

Amazing how much help people need these days. What a pathetic bunch.

Thinking back...

[daoine]

..I wished I had brought

-A decent pocket knife
-Duct Tape
-A decent baby-sized tool box -- with a good hammer, screwdrivers (flat & philips head), pliers, and all the other little goodies.
-Earplugs
-A beer..err...soda cozy
-Quarters, quarters, and more quarters

Re:Thinking back...

[Havokmon]

A beer..err...soda cozy

YEAH! The other guys really meant candoms :P

Re:Thinking back...

[tapin]

-A decent baby-sized tool box -- with a good hammer, screwdrivers (flat & philips head), pliers, and all the other little goodies.

Seconded. A hex (not magnetic) modular screwdriver is excellent for college; and make sure the hammer you get is a full-sized one, not one of those tiny light hammers.

I'd also add a 15' (or so) tape measure.

Having the only fully-equipped toolbox on my floor made me pretty damn popular, the two years I was in the dorms.

Re:Thinking back...

[TGK]

Wana go hardcore? A shrinkwraper. Most college bookstores won't take books back at full price once the shrinkwrap is off. If you have a shrinkwraper you can re-wrap them and typicaly save $75+ on your returned books.

That... and you can sell shrinkwraping service.

Re:Thinking back...

[GlassUser]

Eh, go to a hollywood video. They have the wrap on a roll, and a hairdryer. That's all you need . . .

Re:Thinking back...

[technos]

You're not a real man until your baby sized toolbox is the 8 drawer Craftsman you keep under the bathroom sink (the entire sink) just in case you need a 1/2 distributor wrench and a pair of vice-grips so you can lift your butt of the toilet after you've shorn the hold down bolts off.

Okay, so you only keep it there (and the arc welder under the stairs, and the Ford timing belt wrench you use as a doorstop, and the acetylene tanks and spare air compressor in the corner of the bedroom closet under the dirty clothes) so your wife can park her car in the garage again without denting her car (or more importantly, scratching your newly-varnished router table) when she pulls into the garage.

Re:Thinking back...

[lostchicken]

Nylon Ties.

Don't want to start a fastener flame war here (have we ever had one of those, might me interesting), but the things are even mo' better than duct tape or crazyglue.

A good selection of sizes will keep wires neat, keep things (bumpers, headlights, engine parts) from falling off cars (no really, my sister has used the things for some time on her bumper...), etc.

Re:Thinking back...

[blazin]

Somehow aiming a heat gun at mine or even someone else's crotch doesn't sound like such a fun thing.

Lockpicks and an LED flashlight?

[Twister002]

What is she studying? Prof. Badinovs "How to be a nogoodnik" at Whatsamatta U?

What would you need lockpicks at college for?

Now an iPod, she could get free software from the computer center at least.

Heck, get her a tape recorder so she can tape lectures or a small video camera.

Or if she has trouble paying tuition, get her a web cam and a guide to "Whoring yourself on the internet".

Depends on her major and college

[reschly]

My first semester freshman engineering class was all about Matlab, so buying a copy of that (or whatever software package they teach in her studies) would be useful. Of cousre, that's only a good idea if they aren't allowed to buy software at a discounted price. If she's in an apartment, you can always use more dishes/cookware. Food is also good. Or Tae-bo tapes, or running shoes, something along that line. Many students don't get any exercise, so get something to push her away from the frosh 15 (I lost 3 pounds freshman year :-P). I've found that a bike to ride to class is very useful (I go to a large university, mind you). A $100 wal-mart bike would do for that (get a lock, too). Ok, all I can think of.

Re:Depends on her major and college

[Chucow]

A $100 wal-mart bike would do for that (get a lock, too).

Make sure it's a good lock, what with all the people running around with their new lockpicking tools ;)

A few suggestions

[pclinger]

I assume this person has a computer and that they are now moving away to college (that's what it sounds like). As a college student myself, these are some things which always come in handy:

1) Quarters
Think laundry. You always need quarters. Just send a couple rolls and it should last a while. Make sure you tell her what it is for so she doesn't just go spend it

2) Tools
Such as a hammer, screw drivers, etc. If you live in the dorms, no one has these types of things and they are hard to come by. Anyone who has tools is instantly popular.

3) Network Card?
If this person has used dialup all their life and never had/needed a network card, they will need one now to get online while at campus.

There is a lot more, you will find many more suggestions from other posters.

Re:A few suggestions

[Kallahar]

1) A roll of quarters doesn't go as far as it used to :(

2) Definately! Just don't lend the tools out to strangers :)

3) Some schools force dormrats to use their network cards, especially if the student isn't a computer person.

My suggestion: a fan! My dorm had horrible cooling and I had to leave the fan on nearly all the time.

Travis

Re:A few suggestions

[GigsVT]

Also handy, and often forgotten is a shower basket and sandals to wear in the shower specifically. No one thinks about the public showers until they need to take the first one.

A dirt devil stick vacuum is also an item that will make you popular in the dorms.

Another good thing to have is DoS tools to use on the asshole next door when he plays his lame-ass MP3s on his "look at me I'm so fucking hip" subwoofer system.

Re:A few suggestions

[tedtimmons]

Think laundry. You always need quarters. Just send a couple rolls and it should last a while. Make sure you tell her what it is for so she doesn't just go spend it

Yeah, because it's so annoying to be behind a college student who is buying $50 in groceries with quarters.

-ted

Re:A few suggestions

[MadFarmAnimalz]

Sounds good. Just one little addendum: if she's gonna need hammers and screwdrivers to make friends, then I think you can skip the condoms.

Re:A few suggestions

[zerocool^]

Yeah, because it's so annoying to be behind a college student who is buying $50 in groceries with quarters.

1 roll quarters = $10.
Cheap case of beer = $8.99+tax.

Coincidence?

(I am of course talking about natural light. Also known as nattie light, or financial light).

~Will

Re:A few suggestions

[Bodrius]

Just remember that funny as it is, it actually happens. As a college student I annoyed countless lines of customers by consistently paying my 50 dollars in groceries in a chaotic mix of 1-dollar bills, quarters, pennies, lots of dimes, and "yes! I knew it was there!" a 10 or 5 dollar bill. More than once did I pay over 15 dollars in quarters.

Then if the poor cashier lost track of what I was doing, she had the choice of trusting me or counting that mess all over again.

Re:A few suggestions

[mttlg]

2) Tools
Such as a hammer, screw drivers, etc.

You left out the most important one: cordless drill. Big and powerful, with lots of bits. And a Cat 5 toolkit is also good to have lying around. Common tools are fairly easy to find, even in a dorm.

If you live in the dorms, no one has these types of things and they are hard to come by. Anyone who has tools is instantly popular.

You might think so, but you would be wrong. As a 4 year veteran of college dorms, I can say that having lots of tools, computer equipment, and other assorted stuff and always being around to help people is not guaranteed to make you popular. Then again, when the population is heavy with antisocial freaks who make a minor antisocial freak with a lot of tools look like an overly social freak, there's really no way to win.

Re:A few suggestions

[LWolenczak]

We did that in my dorm.... we wrote a 40 line c program to DoS smb on this guy who left his mp3s playing all the time..... his software allowed him to loop playing....

Re:A few suggestions

[GigsVT]

That's the most novel DoS attack I have ever seen devised. :)

In out dorms, there were three 20 amp circuits that ran down each hall. (I sure hope they weren't different phases, yeoch! 408 volts between the two hots, never tried it to find out)

Anyway, so you could knock out 1/3rd of the outlets in each room down the hall, which one of the guys did accidentally when his power strip shorted.

Not subversive, but...

[eison]

It's not a matter of 'can't get', it's a matter of 'can't afford' or 'can't get to the store' or 'didn't think to buy'. Ignoring traditional gender roles, what would be really useful for college:
4-in-1 Screwdriver. Hammer. Simple voltmeter. Drill. Electrical tape.
Towel (a really really nice fluffy new one, the kind your parents would have a heart attack if you used to wash the car or clean up a spill since it wasn't an old beat up towel. Write on it with permanent marker, something like "use for stuff your parents would cringe at you using a nice towel for" or something like that).

Well, duh!

[catseye]

Give her what every shy, young, sweet, innocent, 18-year-old female college freshman needs:

a webcam!

At least, that's what I think they all need...

Re:Well, duh!

[Artifex]

Give her what every shy, young, sweet, innocent, 18-year-old female college freshman needs:
a webcam!
At least, that's what I think they all need...

Heck, yah. If she has a webcam (and can make a camwhore site), she can "wishlist" for anything else.

No, seriously, get her:

• some prepaid calling cards (if she doesn't want to call home, she can barter them to exchange students);
  
• some gift cards to the nearby video store;
  
• a rice pot/crock pot/hot plate/whatever you think she might use for small cooking;
  
• a crate of ramen (heh)
  
• some really good tea or coffee. That means no herbal decaffeinated crap, unless she's Mormon or Muslim, etc. (in which case she wouldn't want it anyway);
  
• a portable cd player with good headphones so she can tune her roommate out or keep the roommate from being annoyed by her music...
  

Tons of stuff along this vein should be good. Practical, cheap stuff that she won't remember to pack or buy for herself. Oh, that also includes the biggest and softest towels and/or a bathrobe/"dressing gown" unless you think that would be improper.

Re:Well, duh!

[thirty-seven]

>Give her what every shy, young, sweet, innocent,
>18-year-old female college freshman needs:
>a webcam!
>
>At least, that's what I think they all need...

I fine idea, but not very original. That is, if the half dozen different icq messages I get everyday are true, then there must be tens of thousands of naked co-ed college girls with webcams, all eager to please me!

PDA

[Apreche]

I'm in college now. The most useful thing I could get right now would be a PDA with wireless LAN access. If I could read /. in class or on a couch in the SAU it would make my day. Plus, put Tiger Suite PDA on there and I don't even need to go to class.

Friends

[GutterBunny]

Wish I had some in college

Zinn's People's History, Anonymizer, Notebook

[Sean Clifford]

First, get a copy of Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. It comes with a nifty CD even. Best history book I've ever read. Also consider some Noam Chomsky and Bertrand Russell.

And how 'bout an anonymizer account, encryption software, and a *nix based notebook for listening to listening to Democracy Now and staying in touch with friends and family without prying government eyes...

Re:Zinn's People's History, Anonymizer, Notebook

[Sean Clifford]

it is only a half history book

Yup, the half that's missing from every history book I read in high school and (sadly) most American history classes in college.

Quarters, quarters, and more quarters.

Amen. I never had enough quarters. Laundry, laundry detergent, more laundry, sodas, chips, and smokes. Did I mention laundry? I had some room mates that never quite grasped the concept of laundry.

Your asking this question on /.???

[Eric Damron]

Come on, this site is 99.95% male Geeks and Nerds. Do you really think that any of us have a clue about what a normal female student would want??

Pass my sliderule would ya?

Re:How 'bout something she'll use?

[david duncan scott]

Pabst? Where'd you go to college -- obedience school?

Things I wish I had.

[Neck_of_the_Woods]

Caller ID cell phone.

Get out of Jail Free Card. Serious, call and I come and get you no questions asked kind of thing. Giving them the card from a Monopoly game would be nice touch if it had a promise behind it.

Phone Mic for recording conversations.

Snort for the college network.

For god sakes a wireless switch to be the love of everyone in your dorm.

Paintball gun, so much fun just right at your fingertips.

Noise reduction headphones.

Eye Drops.

Espresso Machine.

Eclipse Light.

Butane Torch.

Web Cam, for almost anything.

Condoms.

Duct Tape(not to be confused with condoms).

MP3 player.

Sony Playstation2/xbox/gamecube.

Blinder.

Shot Glass.

Mixer.

A really nice tool kit.

If there is any room left pack it with Tampons, toliet paper, paper towels, and paper plates. You have no idea what kind of money you can get for these in a dorm on a weekend at around 1am.

Re:Things I wish I had.

[dpaton.net]

> Caller ID cell phone.
Excellent idea. I used one whent he first came out on campus and it was incredibly helpful.

> Get out of Jail Free Card. Serious, call and I
> come and get you no questions asked kind of
> thing. Giving them the card from a Monopoly
> game would be nice touch if it had a promise
> behind it.
That depends on the distance to the picker-upper, but also tremendously useful until she gets a car.

> Phone Mic for recording conversations.
Unless she says she's recording them, this is definately illegal. A tone that repeats every 30 seconds is also permissable.

> Snort for the college network.
Every college I know of has line items in their code of conduct that prohibit not only promiscuous tools like strobe, but packet sniffers as well. Unless she's working in a CS lab on TCP/IP security this one is a nono.

> For god sakes a wireless switch to be the lov
> of everyone in your dorm.
Depends on the dorm...mine was made fo concrete and steel, and I couldn't get wifi anywhere but in my room.

> Paintball gun, so much fun just right at your
> fingertips.
Most places this will be a violation of the university firearms policy. Don't ask how I know. I'd advise against it strongly.

> Noise reduction headphones.
Especially if the neighbors ahve a loud stereo or a loud SO.

> Eye Drops.
Especially useful when the campus police tear gas the student body.

> Espresso Machine.
Check the housing regs. A lot of schools are banning things that have heating elements like hot plates, waffle makers and (gasp!) coffee pots. An espresso machine falls under the same umbrella. Most RAs won't care to much as long as you share, but it's definately a check first kind of item.

> Eclipse Light.
Very handy, especially if her room has lighting that's as abysmal as mine did.

> Butane Torch.
See residence hall regs. This one is iffy. I wasnt' even allowed to have a soldering iron in my hall. Not that it stopped me at all...

> Web Cam, for almost anything.
Great way to make pizza money. Wait...was that out loud? Crap.

> Condoms.
Seconded.

> Duct Tape(not to be confused with condoms).
Preferrably the good stuff from 3M that doesn't crap out when wet or leave a sticky gooey residue like the Duck Tape stuff.

> MP3 player.
A decent stereo is a better choice here, unless there's an inordinately long (>10 minute) walk to class.

> Sony Playstation2/xbox/gamecube.
See my comment for the webcam.

> Blinder.
As in blinders or as in blender?

> Shot Glass.
Most dorms are dry...make sure it stays empty when the RA is around.

> Mixer.
Good for making virgin daquris...

> A really nice tool kit.
Absolutely indispensable.

In addition I'd add a pile of blank CDs, a big ass box of , a roll of quarters for said laundry, a few boxes of powerbars, and a roll of stamps.

I'm not sure where the submitter is from, but including a lock pick kit is quite illegal most places unless you're a locksmith. Of course, that's been said already, so just pretend I'm not being redundant.

-dave

Re:Money

[Oliver Wendell Jones]

The greatet right given is the right to be wrong...

And the greatest gift is a free education, wherein you should have learned that 'greatet' is supposed to have an 'S' in it.

/me hopes he didn't spell anything incorrectly and ends up looking like even more of an ass than he deserves

Re:lockpick set?

[majestyk2000]

Small piece of business advice...if you are working on a beach where the nearest 'other' locksmith is 40 minutes away, you need to be charging TWICE what they do, not half. Supply and demand is a harsh bitch sometimes.

Re:lockpick set?

[mfdii]

The sale of lockpicking devices is highly regulated within the United States. In addition, federal law prohibits interstate mailing of locksmithing devices, violation of which is a misdemeanor. Locksmithing devices can also only be sold to authorized recipients.

see these links:
http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/39/3002a.html
http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/1716A.html

for more info

Heh

[techstar25]

Maruchan Ramen and a hot pot.

Most subversive tool ever

[CaffeineAddict2001]

Breast Implants. If used skillfully they can break into any room.

Re:lockpick set?

[GigsVT]

Well, some states are fucked up, like Virginia, it's not illegal to posses them, but it's illegal to posses them with intent to commit burglary, and possession is prima facie evidence of intent.

Which basically means you are guilty until proven innocent. It's probably unconstitutional, but it's also probably never been enforced. Real burglars don't use lockpicks, they would be stupid to try. They just kick the door down or break a window.

A few Good Things

[crimoid]

Laptop
CD-ROM burner - backups, projects, mp3...
Blank CDs
Digital-Audio recorder (w/ at least 90 min of record time)
Small digital camera
Nice headphones (compact yet good quality)
A PDA
Rechargeable batteries
Leatherman tool
An Almanac, Dictionary & Thesaurus

Re:A few Good Things

[Peapod]

You forgot a shrink wrap machine so you can seal up the boxes after you copy the CDs and the serial numbers.

Re:A few Good Things

[Permission Denied]

Leatherman tool

I'll second that. The single most useful tool I had in college (besides laptop). I still have mine and the knife on it is still extremely sharp. The can opener on it came in very useful in college, and the screwdriver is exactly the right size for the screws you'll find on PCs. It's also made out of steel, so the phillips screwdriver head didn't get stripped after lots of use.

Also, someone else already mentioned that lock picking tools might be illegal in her state. If you check the MIT Guide to Lock Picking, you'll see they mention that these are definitely illegal in MA, ME, NH and NY, so be careful. Also you might want to give her a piece of advice: fake IDs are illegal and have extremely stiff penalties. In addition, fake IDs aren't very useful in college, as even the most introverted, asocial geek can easily find some older colleague to buy the requisite vodka.

Needed Things...

[VivianC]

• Power Strips: You can never have enough outlets
  
• Rolling Papers: They are legal, one hitters and bongs are not.
  
• A Bond Card: So no one has to drive and bail her out when her boyfriend does something stupid
  
• A mini fridge: for leftovers
  
• Pepper spray: Campus can be scary.
  

Re:Needed Things...

[GungaDan]

"One hitters" and "bongs" are perfectly legal in most jurisdictions, provided they have no illegal residue on them. Rolling papers are no good, as they leave the residue on the fingers, and who can throw away a good roach, anyway? Best bet? Glass bong and an autoclave. Or heroin.

Re:Needed Things...

[zbuffered]

She's going to college. If she smokes, and has access to it, I'm sure she'll use some of that college-try and figure out a way to transform it from bud to smoke to lungs. Guarantee she can come up with something.
When was the last time you and your friends wanted to smoke up but were unable to find/create a device with which to smoke?

useful, not subversive

[happyclam]

prepaid phone cards
postage stamps
#10 security envelopes
potholder (for cooking, not a pipe)

but what I really wish I'd had in college:
a deluxe beer brewing kit

How about nothing. Here's why...

[gosand]

I didn't have jack when I went to college. I spent $2200 of MY OWN MONEY on a PC, which was a 386DX-33. It wasn't for surfing the net, the net didn't exist yet. (unless you count FTP and Gopher). It was to compile programs so I didn't have to trek to the lab at 3am. I had a couple of friends who ran a BBS, but that was about it. Not to sound like an old fart, but I did it on my own. I worked my way through school, didn't sit on my ass and play on the internet all day, or go to raves, or spend hours in front of a game console. My parents didn't pay my way through school, and I am glad for it. They didn't give me a credit card to run up, I got my own - and I paid off the bills every month. I didn't have a pager, a cell-phone, or a PDA. And don't tell me that those things are necessary nowadays - they aren't. Stop friggin coddling kids, and let them do things on their own. Maybe then we wouldn't have so many whiney brats who expect the world to owe them, because they are used to getting everything they want. And this isn't because I am jealous, it will be better for them in the long run if they do it themselves. They will learn how to actually appreciate something, and the value of self-reliance.

BUT... if you really want to help her, get her some food. Good food. I lived on Ramen noodles, Little Debbie snack cakes, frozen pizzas, and Keystone Light. When you are living on the cheap, that is all you can afford. Give her a good, healthy, care-package of solid nutritious food-stuff. Don't give her food money, cause kids will spend it on crap they don't need and skimp on the food.

Knowledge

[mlinksva]

When I was in college what kept me down was not lack of stuff (though I had very little) but lack of knowledge. I was a real ignoramous. Perhaps there's a book or website along the lines of "Idiot's Guide To How Not To Be An Idiot In College And Life". Or give her a book on basic personal finance, one on basic health and one on healthy relationships. Perhaps better yet, think about the top three things you wish you'd known in college, and tell her. My top three: talk to your professors (some don't care, but some do, take advantage), don't undersell yourself or limit the scope of your opportunities (e.g., when looking for jobs, internships and student leadership roles) and lay off the snack foods and sodas (don't be a sugar junkie).

Best thing a college student can have...

[jcoleman]

...would be a colorless, odorless, noiseless roommate.

Re:Best thing a college student can have...

[hoggoth]

> Best thing [...] would be a colorless [...] roommate.

Racist!

A Clear Mind for Class.

[DeadBugs]

How about a pack of Chaser pills to prevent hangovers?

Re:A Clear Mind for Class.

[jonbrewer]

How about a pack of Chaser [doublechaser.com] pills to prevent hangovers?

Hey, is this stuff any good?

Not Subversive, But Life-Saving

[LittleGuy]

From AAA Plus Member Benefits, which includes Emergency Roadside Assistance:

Plus Extended Towing up to 100 Miles: When your vehicle cannot be started or driven safely, free towing is provided up to 100 miles from the point where your vehicle is disabled to the destination of your choice. This extended benefit includes one tow per disablement using appropriate equipment to safely transport your vehicle.

Plus Lock & Key Services: This service provides up to $100 in parts and labor coverage for lock and key service needed to gain access to your vehicle and make it operable.

Plus Free Fuel Delivery: A sufficient amount of fuel will be delivered free of charge to enable you to reach the nearest open service station.

Plus Alternative Service Reimbursement: Extends your benefits to include full reimbursement for covered services based on the prevailing commercial rate for the region where the vehicle was disabled, if AAA services was requested by unavailable. Lock and key services will be reimbursed up to $100. To apply for reimbursement, submit an itemized receipt for service to the Member Relations Dept., 2040 Market Street, Philadelphia, PA 19103 within 30 days.

Plus Legal Defense Reimbursement: If you are charged with a motor vehicle violation which you believe is unjust and require an attorney, AAA Plus will reimburse you for your attorney's fees in accordance with the following schedule:

Manslaughter by Automobile
Representation in Primary Court $800
Representation in any Higher Court (an additional) $1,200
Maximum Benefit $2,000

Assault & Battery by Automobile
Representation in Primary Court $200
Representation in any Higher Court (an additional) $300
Maximum Benefit $500

Moving Traffic Violation
Representation in Primary Court $100
Representation in any Higher Court (an additional) $150
Maximum Benefit $250

Plus Free International Guides: AAA Plus Members can obtain our renowned international guidebooks and maps absolutely free. Certain restrictions may apply.

Plus Crime Prevention Reward Plus Free International Guides: AAA Plus offers a reward up to $2,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of anyone who steals your vehicle.

Plus Auto Travel Accident Reimbursement Service: If the vehicle you are driving is disabled in a traffic accident 100 or more miles from home, you will receive up to $700 for car rental, commercial transportation, meals and lodging expense occurring within 72 hours of your accident or within the time it takes for you to return home or to arrive at your final destination, whichever is less.

Plus Extended Extrication Service: This services extends Basic benefits to include a second truck and operator for one hour at the scene of disablement.

---

I believe AAA also sells an emergency cellphone which can contact police/911/AAA.

Re:Not Subversive, But Life-Saving

[Zoop]

Just don't bother in the DC area--Mid Atlantic AAA takes about 3 to 4 hours to respond, even if you're stranded in the middle of the night in a dangerous part of town (or the middle of the day in a safe neighborhood). I speak from personal experience in both extremes. They should be taken out and shot.

AAA Carolinas, on the other hand, is a bargain at twice the price.

ummm

[austad]

Legal items only, please

Actually, if you've already included a lockpick set, that may not be legal. In most states, it's illegal to own a lockpick set unless you have a locksmith license. In minnesota, this is definitely the case.

Re:ummm

[Nyarly]

IANAL, but my understanding is that while lockpicks are not technically illegal without a locksmithing license, they do make it very easy to toss "intent to break and enter" or some such (possibly even burglary) onto any arrest if you're carrying lockpicks at the time.

Re:ummm

[mungtor]

IANAL either, but for some reason I looked it up. From the Minnesota state site here.

609.59 Possession of burglary or theft tools.

Whoever has in possession any device, explosive, or other instrumentality with intent to use or permit the use of the same to commit burglary or theft may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than three years or to payment of a fine of not more than $5,000, or both.


So they would have to prove intent. If they pull you over for speeding, it would be hard to prove that you were in a hurry to commit a crime.

Re:ummm

[SirSlud]

holy shit, there goes that whole anti-DMCA 'jsut cause you own a burglar tool doesn't mean they can arrest you for burglaring, why should technology be any different' argument. :(

shit.

Re:ummm

[swb]

Clearly you've never dealt with the cops.

The cop that pulls you over doesn't have to prove shit to take your lockpicks, put you in handcuffs and set you in the back of his squad car for an hour or two -- and that's if you did something minor, like cross against the lights or speed or something. You'll get let go, but you won't get the lockpicks back.

If you're doing something *illegal* it's a license to be a USDA Grade A asshole and maybe get you to take a trip to the county lockup on a gross misdemeanor or a felony beef where otherwise you might just get a talking to or a misdemeanor citation.

You can quote chapter and verse to the cops all you want, but when it comes down to it the guys in blue hold *all* the cards and you hold none, until you're in front of the judge explaining your lockpicks and 609.59.

Re:ummm

[swb]

So many posters seem to have ignored the fact that the question is about a female. A FEMALE. They tend to have much more pleasant dealings with the cops.

Most professional cops don't care whether you're a woman or a man. They've seen that I'm-a-girl routine too many times, and none of them buy it.

Your sleazier cops? Well, instead of just getting treated like a con, being a girl might earn you a vigorous body search at best or a rather persuasive opportunity to exchange sex for getting let off.

Marketing Troll?

[Mignon]

What are the chances this Ask Slashdot is from a marketing troll at ThinkGeek, for example?

Re:Marketing Troll?

[Anonymous Coward]

If they've read the same posts I have they've already got caffienated condoms in the works.

Air conditioning for the new apartment

[Zarhan]

I don't know where she is going to live exactly, but in general student housing is not all that luxurious. Anyway, (depending on climate of course), get her an air conditioning device to keep the place cool. A fan is of course useful too, but an A/C is much better. Especially when most models can also be used as a heater (very useful in certain places with large temperature variations...).

Anything related to computing might not be worth it, because there is always the upgrade cycle. This one should last througout the entire study period :)

Re:Air conditioning for the new apartment

[jandrese]

Better check with the Dorm rules before brining in that A/C. Back at tech you had to have a doctors signature and fill out a mount of forms to be allowed to have an A/C in your dorm window.

Really, the best thing to get her is a roommate who already have the Dorm Fridge, Microwave, TV, A/C (if allowed) and all of that other stuff so you don't have to carry it all around (and worry about it being stolen). This is especially useful if you are on the 12th floor (naturally they won't let you use the elevators--that's for cleaning staff only).

dictionary

[justo]

i've found merriam-webster online to be better than dictionary.com

Re:How about nothing. Here's why...

[rufusdufus]

Rock on man. My grandmother gave cases of Ramen. Now I hate Ramen, but I still love grandma.
What freaks me out about most of the posts is how party oriented they are. Having to pay my way through school really set my priorities for me. I am not paying 18 grand(!!) a year of my own money to swizzle cheap beer out of a tin can!

Today Im young and retired, while my classmates are whining about being laid off in the slump. They should have laid off of the booze and drugs and got busy.

items

[mr_burns]

clear chap stick. You can swipe it over the black lines on the left of a scantron to get it to not grade it...not mark any wrong. If the teacher's weary, she'll get 100% because the teacher didn't see any marked wrong.

Lock box that can screw into a desk drawer. good for keeping the roomie out of your...stuff

Resolve carpet cleaner. Clean up that barf or bongwater before the RA finds out

Spray Bottle and rubbing alcohol. gets any nature of odor out of the air...quickly

"Do Not Disturb" sign. use your imagination

microcassette recorder. good for lectures, bugging and recording any nature of other thing

A few 500-1000 minute phone cards

[Kasmiur]

So she can call talk to mom/dad or old friends whenever.

Laser pointer

[Anarchofascist]

There's nothing like a laser pointer for adding that little touch of frustration to tired and emotional lecturers.

However, USE SPARINGLY and only when you cannot be spotted. A little subliminal flash across the board when he/she is writing, and he or she will not know whether to get angry or dismis it as an acid flashback.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!!

[Gorbie]

I mean, isn't that the bible for college living?

How else would anyone get to the Cheeseburger at the end of the Universe...

binoculars

[Polo]

You could get those fake binoculars that hold your choice of beverage inside...

Not subversive, but...

[Auckerman]

Hair clippers. Professional barber ones. College kids have a tendency to cut their own hair and anyone who OWNED clippers was immediately your friend.

A Leatherman

[OmniGeek]

I recently lost my Swiss Army knife of many years, and bought a Leatherman PST II. It's bigger and bulkier to carry, but wow! Now it's a permanent part of my attire. Very useful to have around.

KeyGhost

[ColGraff]

Keyghost (www.keyghost.com) keystroke logger. I'm buying one before I leave for college - never know when it'll come in handy.

two books

[happyclam]

Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook and The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex

Re:two books

[Pfhor]

the "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex" is a great read.

GF got it for me for christmas, I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

Also, if you want to prep someone for college, sit down and drink WITH them. Your child will drink at college, it is almost certain. But if they are introduced to it in a safer environment beforehand, if just for the parents.

(My father specifically stated that he wanted me to learn my limit before I got to college, so he wouldn't get a phone call from a hospital / public safety / police).

A good toolset...

[realgone]

that can handle those odd-shaped screws/nuts/bolts/etc. Back in my first year of higher ed -- Stevens Institute of Technology, god how I don't miss it -- swiping the licence plates from the college president's car was *the* campus sport. Each time a set of plates disappeared, they'd use more exotic fasteners. And every time, they'd be swiped again. Heck, one guy I knew must have had a good half dozen of the poor guy's plates in his room.

Oh, and those tools are good for... erm... "borrowing" all sorts of other things, too. Truly,the gift that keeps on giving. =)

Stash Box/Safe?

[e2d2]

Every college kid should have a good assortment of stash boxes. I have one in my vehicle, put in by a local custom car shop, and a few in my house that I built myself. They are great for hiding stuff that you might want to keep out of normal view A decent safe never hurt but given the tight spaces that usually confines college kids I'd suggest a small fire box with a simple key or number lock.

here's a cheapie stash example:
http://www.pentagondefense.com/booksafe1 .html

~trust no one, always roll your own tin foil hats

Well said. Screw the gadgets

[GuyMannDude]

Amen, brother. Am I missing something? Why is this high-tech care package such a necessity? Maybe I'm showing my age but I remember college as being a place where I worked hard at school, hung out with friends, and drank a lot of beer. PDAs and other electronic gismos were simply not required.

I have already included a lockpick set, a UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package.

I'm sorry: what classes are these items going to help her with?

Hey, I've got a radical idea for you! Why don't you skip the care package altogether? Let Linda or Betty or whatever her name is figure out for herself what she needs instead of loading her up with pointless trinkets. And then let her figure out how to get the needed items (ask you, buy it herself, construct a makeshift workaround, etc.) Sure, it's not as fancy to do it that way but it gives her a chance to identify a problem, develop a solution and then do whatever needs to be done. That is what growing up is all about, right? If you pack her care package with every damn thing she could ever need, what Life Lession is that helping her figure out?

GMD

What I wish I'd had in college from the start...

[Trinity-Infinity]

When I started college, the following items (in no particular order), would have been quite helpful

• a pen with a built in light. Target sells these, and they're awesome! Most of my lecture halls were of course, very dark, making note taking a chore. The pen w/the light made me the envy of my classmates...
• a gift certificates to any online or B&M store, target, amazon, walmart, there was always something I needed, and always looked in those places to get it first.
• small electronic games, like "lights out", helped pass the time and were fun to share with friends!

True..

[mindstrm]

But not because it's a 'burglar tool'.

There are laws specifically about lockpicks, and in some states, and all of Canada, it is unlawful to have a lockpick unless you are a practicing locksmith on the job (and in Canada, that includes being registered & carrying papers.. how draconian).

However, in MOST states, something is only a 'burglar tool' if used to commit burglary. (Crowbar, lockpick, etc). Posessing the item in and of itself is not a crime.

Re:True..

[topham]

If you get caught committing an otherwise dumb crime you'll find yourself in more trouble if you carry lockpick set, or similar.

Your not going to be searched out of the blue, but if you get searched for some other reason you will NEED an explanation. 'Just cuz' isn't an explanation.

Don't give her gadgets...

[edibleplastic]

what else were you planning on giving her... rope, and the Worst Case Scenario handbooks? Give her things that she will really make use of and appreciate.

Probably the best thing that you can give her is a good pillow and a foam eggcrate for the mattress. Dorm beds are killer (more plastic than bed) and it can be very hard to fall asleep with them. This is something that will help her *every* single night, as opposed to a lock-pick set which might help once a year, if that. (once she has it, will she even figure out how to use it?)

Also, if you must give her a gadget or something, give her something like a lava lamp -- another cool thing that she can appreciate on a regular basis.

What fun

[slaker]

My uncle is the Director of Public Health for a county in Illinois that shall remain nameless. When *I* went away to school I got gross of gross-size boxes of condoms. 20,000-something of them.
Mostly they got used as water balloons and sold at usurious prices to dorm-mates with an unexpected opportunity.

When a friend had to move away from her boyfriend to start Pharmacy school, I got her a small assortment of vibrators (waterproof, gel, plug-in), some "Astro Glide" and a pre-paid phone card. I've been thanked profusely by both parties for that one.

Web Camera. I had one when I was at school. Once I actually got an SO, it suddenly had a million household uses.

Telescope. For the voyeur in all of us. :)

Subscription to dirty magazine. OK, even if you aren't into that sort of thing, this stuff makes good barter material (nothing like a fratboy too embarassed to buy his own) and, if you're willing to share your bounty, will probably make you a few friends.

Lamination machine. Million household uses for an enterprising college student. Patricularly when paired with an Alaskan or Puerto Rican drivers license.

Anything that makes people think you have a bizarre lifestyle. Nothing like being able to pull on a pair of skintight latex chaps, a 24" dildo and exclaiming to your annoying roommate that you're ready for a quiet evening at home. Note that holy books from weirdo relgions probably work just as well, if you can keep up the right sort of patter.

Damn. I'll probably think of more goodies later.
Geez. Guess I'm some kind of pervert. Oh well. At least I'm not an anonymous coward.

Re:What fun

[slaker]

OK, so I'm lame enough to reply to myself. Sue me.

Shotgun-style microphone. See telescope, above. This one is actually probably more fun, since fewer people know what the hell they are.

Stethyscope I use one in my apartment to this day to decide if my neighbors are fighting/beating their kids or if it's just a TV that's turned up really loud.

Potato gun. We used to pack one full of undies and shoot it out the dormitory window.

Tools! Particularly a decent drill or cordless screwdriver. I once stole the door from a couple of guys in my dorm who were annoying me. Of course, the utility of a $7 toolset from Walgreens merits its inclusion anyway.

Stereo from hell. I listen to classical music. So did everyone else on my floor and the floors around mine, thanks to me. I used to turn the volume up on my stereo to about halfway so I didn't have to interrupt my favorite symphony just to go to the bathroom (70 feet and probably 40 cinderblock walls away). Think about the opening of "The Big U" for a hint of what I mean. Once I beat anyone else who thought their music should be inflicted on everyone else into submission, I turned mine down too.

Vacuum pump. Another great trick. Make a slight negative pressure inside someone's closed room and watch them get knocked off their feet opening their door. Or break a window, if you aren't careful (I went to an engineering school. Can you tell?)

Quarter-on-a-string or four. To keep from having to actually pay for laundry machines. Laundromats might care. Dorms don't.

Powerful magnet. Wow are these fun.

Overhead projector. Your very own Batsignal.

Racketballs or other suitably bouncy objects. Great fun in the hall.

Block-and-tackle/pulley system. Great for getting contraband into dorms. Where I went to school, the guys on the highest floor of my dorm used one to hoist up alcohol (which was banned in dorms). Also great for moving day.

Button-maker/Tshirt printer. Sounds lame, but actually a decent source of income and not without spurious subversive uses, either.

Instant or digital camera. Roommate in a compromising position? Immortalize him forever!

No sense of shame. This makes dealing with drunks and morons particularly amusing.

Re:What fun

[Skuld-Chan]

Note that holy books from weirdo relgions probably work just as well

I started thinking about this - I have a load of scientology books - mostly for the comic value - its a wierdo religion, but I'd hate for anyone to think I belonged to it.

Stick to the latex chaps :).

Re:What fun

[cduffy]

Depends on the religion. A copy of the Principia Discordia would do quite nicely, for instance.

Re:What fun

[slaker]

Mostly lived in the dorms. I don't think I seriously attended classes until about my junior year. ;)

My degree is in CS. I took a whopping semester of physics. Engineers or Physics majors looking to correct me, feel free.

Re:What fun

[slaker]

Depends on the machine. I learned the trick from someone at a video arcade in the early 80s.

Dollar Bills on long pieces of duct tape work, too, BTW. Not that I'm encouraging anyone to actually *do* that since it's probably some kind of crime.

Re:What fun

[Nehemiah S.]

(I'm not the AC asshole who posted above. I'm replying to you instead of him because he is an AC and because I'm curious as to how you managed the trick of knocking someone down.)

So, anyway, while there is no such thing as negative absolute pressure, negative gage pressure is what you were talking about (atmospheric pressure on a "standard day" is 14.7 psi absolute, 0 gage). What I am curious about is how you effected this negative pressure? Vacuum pump inside the room? Seals under the door?

Re:What fun

[slaker]

Slight disclaimer. My involvement in this stunt was basically watching a couple other people do all the work.

Full story:

We did this to a guy who had a nasty habit of leaving a CD Player playing extra-happy xmas songs, then leaving the dorm all weekend. Every weekend. Dorm policies meant nobody could open the door and turn it off, either.

The original plan was to mostly seal the door with tiny bits of rubber, then suck some of the air out of the room, to make the door really hard to open, but that didn't work very well. I think what was ultimately used was a caulk, which did work OK. A hose was run under the guy's door and into another room, where the pump did whatever it had to do (sucking air out of the room, I suppose. I just remember it as being very loud).

After some period of time the hose was cut and sealed, flush with the door.

About three hours later, evil xmas bastard showed up, took about five minutes tugging on his door to get it open... and when he did there was an "pop" sound. He got blown into his room and one of the panes of his window collapsed.

We laughed our asses off.

Didn't anyone else play pranks in college?

Re:What fun

[NeMon'ess]

As cool as that sounds, I'm just a little confused. If the door opens outward into the hall, he has to tug it open (I know, caulk and all in the way). Now he gets it partway open and some air gets in which reduces the pressure. How does he get sucked in? Was he yanking sooooooo hard that the door swung wide open and then he was blown in?

If the door opened inward he'd start ramming it with his shoulder and then the same thing would happen.

So, I'm assuming one of you told him to stop playing the music all the time? Or did he figure it out on his own?

Books

[GMontag]

A copy of "Fahrenheit 451" and a copy of "1984".

I will be happy to autograph the former, see if Emmanuel Goldstein will autograph the latter.

Warmest Regards,
Guy Montag

Re:Home-brewing Kit

[ncc74656]

They won't let you bring in alcohol without signing it in for the record. Make your own!!! Nobody is the wiser...

Given that you need to boil the wort (for those of you who don't brew, that's the barley-malt-and-hops solution that, along with yeast, is what beer is made of) for about an hour, that presents two problems: (1) finding a burner to do the job (a hotplate won't cut it and you probably don't want to use whatever common kitchen facilities your dorm might have) and (2) hiding the smell (and it is strong) from someone who might rat you out. There are kits where supposedly all you do is just stir some ingredients together and let it sit for a while, but you'll likely get something that resembles pisswater more than b e e r.

George Foreman Grill

[sprintkayak]

Great for dorm life. Perfect for late night meal after the caffeteria is closed.
Knocks out the fat!

Re:George Foreman Grill

[mikefoley]

According to Cooks Illustrated, the only thing it's good for is grilled cheese sandwiches.

My wife's cousin goes in a couple of years. She's getting a Leatherman, duct tape, a hammer and a toolbox. Never trust a girl without a toolbox. (Yes, my wife has one)

Re:George Foreman Grill

[andy@petdance.com]

According to Cooks Illustrated, the only thing it's good for is grilled cheese sandwiches.

That's not good enough for you?

Re:George Foreman Grill

[Mister Attack]

I'll dispute that. My Foreman grill has definitely saved me from malnutrition on my leave terms... whereas I would normally have been eating ramen nonstop, I now keep a bunch of chicken breasts marinating in the fridge... they keep for about a week, so you can buy the family size pack and have chicken sandwiches at lunchtime for a week. It only takes about 5 minutes, it's cheap if you buy your meats on sale, and it gets a much-needed source of proteins into the diet. They're good for steaks, fish, not so good for pork chops, and fantastic for grilled cheese (or grilled ham and cheese, or turkey and cheese, or whatever).

As I said, they are not so good for pork - for some reason pork always comes out dry for me, I can't seem to get the cooking time right on the Foreman. But get a bottle of that McCormick Montreal Steak Seasoning, and a sirloin bought on sale, and you've got yourself a hell of a meal on the cheap - sirloin can be had for $2.79 a pound if you're willing to wait for a special.

Conclusion: Foreman++. Absolutely the best thing you can buy, especially if you send a hot pot or rice cooker as well.

Re:George Foreman Grill

[mikefoley]

Nope. :) My wife is a gourmet cook. I'm a REALLY lucky guy.

Re:George Foreman Grill

[Monthenor]

I just GOTTA disagree here. It's also excellent for cooking up hot dogs and bratwurst with a quickness. 5 minutes on the grill is plenty, during which time you:

1) Microwave a piece of white bread for 10 sec.
2) Place a Kraft Single on the white bread and let them sit until the brat is almost done.
3) Just before the brat is done, microwave the bread+cheese again for 10 sec.
4) Remove your makeshift bun and immediately wrap around brat.
5) Consume. w00t! Just can't beat the cheese and meat, baby!

For people like me who get sick from ramen, brat-on-bread is the best quick meal around. Unless your microwave (like mine) is powered by hydrogen fusion and can cook a 15-minute rice meal in 5 min ;)

Some ideas...

[curunir]

ThinkGeek caffeine sampler

pepper spray/whistle for walking home from a late-night class

any kind of non-perishable food (boxes and boxes of candy)

drug testing kits (dancesafe.org sells them)...everyone knows kids will take drugs, why not make it as safe as possible.

return cab fare. label it specifically as such. with a note saying only to use when you have no way home or there is no sober driver.

Snuff Bullet!

[Petersko]

http://www.head-shop.com/snuff.htm

Sooner or later it will occur to the recipient that there are better things to use it for than "snuff". Plus, that'll fit with "higher education".

Yuck

[yzquxnet]

that stuff is nasty. I never understood what people saw in it. Other than it is dirt cheap. But it's gross. I guess I've never had the luxory of being so hard up for cash that I've needed to eat Ramen Noodle. But, I still have 2 more years to go...

Re:Well said. Screw the gadgets

[cdrudge]

The UV pen is to mark everything that you own without visabily marking it up. Makes for easier itentification of stuff when it gets swiped. Also can be used to mark your hand to get into bars, clubs, etc.

I would assume that the flashlight is just for safety while she is out at night.

I have no idea what the lock picks are for. I know what they are used for...but not for this setting.

leatherman

[anotherone]

Seriously, get her a Leatherman multitool. I got one for my 18th birthday a few months ago, it's already saved my life once (literally) as well as just being damned handy all the time.

As a recent college grad...

[akiaki007]

1. Leatherman - or at least a flat head, philips head, square head (to take the damn hutches off the desks) and a hammer.
2. very long phone, cable and ethernet cords.
3. Duct tape
4. Phone Card (if she doesn't have cell with long distance. Sprint is great for that)
5. Quarters...they are VERY valuable
6. Sticky Tack - that blue stuff to hang things up with
7. If you're near by, drop off a case of beer.
8. Subscription to Rolling Stone
9. Film for the camera
10. Money in general is always good to have
11. No need for condoms. The RA has them for free :)

Re:As a recent college grad...

[paulschreiber]

Leatherman - or at least a flat head, philips head, square head (to take the damn hutches off the desks) and a hammer.

square head = Robertson

very long phone, cable and ethernet cords.

including a crossover cable.

Underage required reading

[warpSpeed]

The New Complete Joy of Home Brewing

It is a little campy, but over all an excelent book, I highly recomend it. I'm surprised the more enterprising geeks I knew at the time had not thought of this. At least I do not recall anyone doing this in school.

DVD Burner

[Jeppe Salvesen]

That way, she can truly be a subversive, mp3 & divx-sharing commie spawn. Alternatively, if she's strapped for cash, she can burn adult dvds of herself. I bet your friend would love you for giving his daughter that opportunity!

Wireless Microphone

[msheppard]

I had one fo those ancient little black wireless microphones (i.e. BUG) from radio shack, and we had plenty of fun with that. Broadcasts through about 2 dorm rooms worth of concrete.

Hint: Attack it to a metal bedspring and the range is better... of course that might be a little TOO close to what you are evesdropping on.

M@

Pepper Spray and a Tazer

[pmancini]

Hey, it's tough being on your own. Might as well brace her for the onslaugh of unsupervised boys running willy-nilly.

Oh, and a package of condoms. Hey, not all the boys running willy-nilly are bad. If she can't be good she might as well be safe.

My I suggest 15% pepper spray with a nitrogen propellent so that it is non-flamable. You don't want her to "Rambo" some pushy dude, just disable him for 5 minutes so she can get away. Also, if you get the type with the UV dye it makes it easy to ID the creep if he was criminally abusive. The dye is invisible and he won't realize he's been marked until he gets radiated by a Black Light.

If size is an issue get the 1/2 oz. bottle and send a new one each year as they have a short shelf-life. They make great key-chains. Otherwise the 2oz. bottle is best. You can clear a room with one of those and then blast any persuers who are stupid enough to follow you after your exfiltration.

Good luck, enjoy college!

NEWS FLASH

[msouth]

BANKS. They're called BANKS. You can go to a BANK and get nice, convenient rolls of quarters.

Re:NEWS FLASH

[Luminous]

The reality is sometimes campus isn't located conveniently next to a bank. Or, as it was in my case, the bank charges a service fee for change if you aren't a member.

First year recomendations.

[a3d0a3m]

As a first year college student, living off-campus with some friends, here is my suggestions.
First, make sure you have maintenance tools, like a hammer, screwdriver, nails, good scissors, and maybe a utility knife.
You will need stuff to get the bills done with: envelopes and stamps and a little hanging file thing to keep track of stuff you get. Trust me, you should save at least 3 months of crap, like reciepts and contracts so that you can return something if you never use it or get out of something that you don't need [like a water-cooler rental agreement].
Laundry supplies: quarters, soap, and most importantly a good hiding spot for your quarters to prevent your quarters from wandering off on your roommate's wash day.
You need cleaning supplies, an extra shower curtrain or two, a mop, sponges for the dishes, some of those 1000 flushes things and that 'clean shower' spray-- basically anything that makes it easier on you when you need to clean up.
Then, get a good book shelf and desk. Maybe you don't study at a desk at home, but when you get to college you're gunna have a lot more papers to deal with, a lot more stuff to file and organize and it really helps to have a central place rather than under the bed to put everything. Also, you will amass a nice collection of books, because the bookstore never seems to want to give you more than $10 for that intro to psych. book and it would be a shame to sell it back and it will be useful someday right?
Not a material item, but something very important to consider: If you are picking a roommate from your home town, you should ask yourself "what does their room look like"? Does it look about as clean as yours? Do they do any chores at their house? Because more often than not, if their room is a shitpile at their parent's house, it will be twice a shitpile at their new dorm/apartment, so you should be prepared --unless you also like to live in less than sparkling conditions.
The single most important thing is earplugs. Enough for you and your roomate. Some people don't fall asleep too easily, and this really helps.

Adam

Re:Condoms QWZX

[shoppa]

At the risk of sounding un-hip... what's "Semisid"?

I went to college two decades ago (so am definitely in the "un-hip" category) and don't know either.

I do know that google yields exactly zero hits on the word - a suspiciously low number :-)

Not All Condoms are Alike:

[Chasing Amy]

Seriously, get the good stuff. I wouldn't trust lousy American condoms for anything--especially since I recall two condom-breakage incidents back when I was a teenager.

For the good stuff, get Kimono brand condoms, from Japan. They're made to European and Japanese standards as well as American FDA standards. I use the Kimono MicroThins, which are thinner but stronger than standard condoms because they're made of a higher-grade of latex and are at the right thickness (thinness?) to have a lot more give and stretchiness before breakage. My unscientific fill-a-bunch-of-condom-brands-with-water-and-use-t hem-as-bath-toys tests confirmed that Kimono MicroThins are *a lot* stronger than the Trojans and Lifestyles I tried. Several of the higher-class escorts (call-girls) I know swear by them. And since they're thinner, they conduct heat and sensation better too. I order mine here:

http://www.condoms.net/cgi-bin/SoftCart.cgi/cond om s/kimono_microthin.html?L+csense+TBEB7864

Another good addition to a going-to-college kit would be body lubricant. Astroglide is probably the most frequently used lubricant on adult film sets. However, if you've got the money to burn, Eros from Europe is a better lubricant, based on silicone compounds instead of glycerine--making it expensive. But a drop of silicone-based lube won't dry out:

http://www.condoms.net/cgi-bin/SoftCart.cgi/lube s/ eros.html?L+csense+TBEB7864+1022724296

Or, there's a cheap sampler which includes small tubes of Eros and some flavored lubes:

http://www.condoms.net/cgi-bin/SoftCart.cgi/lube s/ gsw_lubesamp.html?L+csense+TBEB7864

And no, I'm not trying to pimp for that online store--it's just where I happen to buy all my condoms and lubricants. Better quality, plus no more embarrassment from walking up to a 16 year old counter clerk with a big bottle of lubricant and a jumbo pack of raingear. :-)

Re:Not All Condoms are Alike:

[nobody69]

plus no more embarrassment from walking up to a 16 year old counter clerk with a big bottle of lubricant and a jumbo pack of raingear. :-)

While dating my wife, I once picked up a box of strawberries, a can of Redi-Whip and a box of condoms at the grocery store. The tennybopper checkout girl roboticly said "Have a good night" and the pimply-faced bagger said "I think he's gonna." I just smiled and ran out of the store.

Re:Not All Condoms are Alike:

[knewman_1971]

Dude, get off my brainwave...

I once walked out of a grocery store with a box of milk-bones, a dog leash and collar, a container of cool-whip, a box of condoms, and a bottle of champagne.

My girlfriend and I had just adopted a puppy. The champagne and cool-whip were for a dinner party with her parents. The condoms were for after dinner.

When the clerk looked at my g/f and said "So, the champagne makes it easier to wear the collar and leash, right?", I thought she was going to die, on the spot.

I, of course, laughed so hard I cried.

Theatre Majors.

[Wombat]

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to differ with your statement that "Theatre Majors are the epitome of laziness." I think, as in any major, you get those who are dedicated and those who are slackers. Granted, perhaps a few more slackers end up in the theatre area because it's more subjective and there are fewer rigorous homework deadlines than in, say, Astrophysics.

From personal experience I and many of my friends have worked our asses off in our university's Theatre department. And that's what one has to be willing to do if one has a strong desire to be an artist professionally. The ones who slacked off will inevitably be waiting tables, while the hard workers at least have a fighting chance.

Other than that, you give pretty good advice. ;-)

-Wombat,
Michigan State class of 2002, BA Theatre, BS Astrophysics.
Examples of hardwork:
Lighting Design Portfolio
Acting Resume
and Your Mom(Improv Comedy)

Re:Theatre Majors.

[TheGeneration]

I was a Psychology major, and Computer Science major. There is a GIGANTIC/HUGE/GRANDEOUSLY/MONSTROUSLY/BIG difference between an arts major and a sciences major. I thought Psych was hard until I picked up the second major of CS. Suddenly I went from a B psych student to a straight A psych student having realized that NOTHING in Psych was hard compared to the rigors of lower division CS courses. (Our lower division CS courses were meant to weed out those who weren't supposed to be there.)

!!! you have to ask !!!

[_ph1ux_]

"What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college"

SEX

Re:Well said. Screw the gadgets

[GlassUser]

I have no idea what the lock picks are for. I know what they are used for...but not for this setting.

It's for the chastity belt.

a PDA would be quite useful.

[SCSI-Wan]

I have to agree that a PDA would be a great choice. I bought one last semester and I truly believe it is the one most useful thing I have ever purchased. It has almost totally replaced my paper notebook (with the exception of Calculus notes), and it has literally saved me around 200 to 300 sheets of paper this semester. I would also recommend a small, collapsible keyboard. In my Physics lecture, three of us had PDAs with keyboards and we typed all of our notes. The major plus to this is that if one of us ever missed lecture we could just beam that days notes to each other without the hassle of having to photo copy or (ye gods forbid) hand copy someone else's notes.

Another good thing is that most PDAs are now small enough to stick in your pocket and take with you without it getting in the way. So you've got your notes with you if get stuck away from the dorm/house/apartment. Plus, there are a lot of people who are willing to pay for well-taken, printed copies of notes. That way you'd get a little pocket change to supplement your "Feed A College Student Fund".

PDAs are getting pretty cheep and compact now. I truly think that'd be the best (and most useful) thing to get. I'm not sure I could go back to taking note on paper.... Just be sure to get a keyboard too, because prolonged exposure to Graffiti can be a pain (quite literally).

/*SCSI-Wan*/

The essentials...

[PRickard]

CHANGE. Quarters. All quarters, lots of them ( none of the other coins), and some kind of change rack to put them all in. College vending machines, phones, toiletry dispensers, etc all need quarters and the changers won't take 95% of the dollar bills out there. Also handy for making decisions about true/false tests.

A phone card. Even if you use your quarters in the payphone, a card will be handy for calling home from anywhere else. And when you use a card in a payphone the phone won't keep begging for more money while you converse. Or a cell phone if you're willing to pay the monthly bill.

Some kind of grill or hotplate. The smaller George Foreman is highly recommended, but you can't cook everything on one. Can't cook eggs on a Foreman grill, for example. But it's better (and cheaper) than having cafeteria or vending machine slop for every meal.
Also a mini-fridge if your budget is a bit bigger and the dorm has room for it. She can always use the thing as a chair if the space is tight.

Gift certificates. This is a great one my Grandma did for me, not knowing how beneficial it was/is. Find out what resturaunts are near the school and get her freebies for all of them. Fast food - Hardees, McDumbass, Steak N Shake, Burger King, Pizza Palace, IHOP... (Love the IHOP - four hours of class and then have breakfast at 11:30.) These are good for every gift-giving season, send her a box of them at birthday and Christmas. Some movie theaters also sell gift certificates, might want to check that out as well.

And if she's attending school anywhere in the Southeast, give her my e-mail... I have school connections / tips and I'm always willing to treat a girl to dinner or a movie with absolutely nothing else expected in return. *smile*

Untrue.

[mindstrm]

In most states, it IS legal to own lockpicks. They only become burglary tools if used in the comission of a crime.. just like a crowbar.

Also, in many states, locksmithin is not a 'registered' profession. You don't need a license to be a locksmith in many places. Locksmith is also not clearly defined in many statutes.

A need can be "I like the ability to open locks if I lose my keys"

I'm available...

[Art Tatum]

Why not give her me? I'm single and I'm cuddly.

What to give them before they leave for college

[deranged unix nut]

1) Curiosity
2) A desire to learn
3) A good work ethic

Oh wait, those aren't allowed in college!

Curiosity - Universities won't let you find out what's in those steam tunnels.

A desire to learn - Universities won't let you ask other students how they approached the problem.

A good work ethic - Too many parties, too little time. :)

Re:Well said. Screw the gadgets

[cdrudge]

Well, our doors didn't lock unless you locked them from the outside, deadbolt style. The only way you could lock yourself out was if you were gone without your keys when your roommate locked the door. If you are smart enough to use a lock pick set, wouldn't you be smart enough to:

- Carry your keys on you
- Ask the RA, front desk, office, whoever has the spare key to open it
- Make a duplicate key just to keep in your wallet/purse.

I never had a problem in college, but then again, I didn't spend every weekend praying to the porcelain
gods completely drunk.

Re:OT: Your sig

[Iamthefallen]

Get +5, get -1 Troll, get +1 Underrated = +5 Troll

Not much that hasn't already been said....

[RocketScientist]

A Leatherman super-tool.

A decent toolset, with at least a #2 philips, a very small, a medium, and a very large standard, a good carpenter's hammer, a set of wrenches (crescent wrenches suck) in metric and english, pliers, vice grips, and wire strippers. The leatherman's too uncomfortable for big jobs, and the most subversive thing you can do is be able to build things. Don't neglect a decent toolbox either, something that will slide under a bed.

Screw the LED flashlight. Maglite. The 5 D-Cell version, but only if you can't find the 6. Gets you back from late classes in the dark safely, doubles as a death machine. It's big, it's heavy, and it's durable. And it has an extra bulb in the base. Belt carrying clip so it'll go on a backpack strap.

Batteries, for the flashlight and for everything else.

A decent wireless access point and a good working knowledge of snort would be good. That's more of a time investment than anything else though. Think of it as a digital lockpick, if you will.

Recommended reading...well, if she's not read Stranger in a Strange Land, Starship Troopers, Anthem, and The Forever War, she probably should. There's probably more than those, but they'd be the top of my list.

Condoms and "self satisfaction products" would probably be appreciated if presented discreetly.

Offtopic

[Sean Clifford]

Not to be a snit, but how in the world was any of this offtopic? All of these are (a) subversive, (b) college, and (c) gifts. You don't get more on-topic.

Don't stop there!

[Zen Mastuh]

Careful buddy, you gotta make sure she has the upper hand: when the DEA finds out about her love drug operation and busts in to her dorm (breaking and entering, assault with a deadly weapon, home invasion,...) and siezes her MDMA and any liquid assets (theft...), and throws her in prison (kidnapping...) make sure she can properly defend herself. I would recommend a few .50 caliber machine guns mounted on turrets near her dorm, an RPG, plenty of Kevlar and a few sets of night goggles. Throw in a nice 9mm submachine gun (H&K MP-5K) for indoor action and some quality training in automatic weapon handling. Make sure her instructor believes in the power of head shots.

Seriously, we already have over a million people in jail for drugs [usa--#1], plenty of innocent people shot dead in raids, and a virtual police state created by seizure money. This War on (Some) Drugs will go on forever unless we stop acting like victims. Would you tolerate the jackboots raiding your home to seize your beer?

Re:Don't stop there!

[Guy Harris]

You don't want her turning into some D&D monkey, but if you're not careful, she ends up playing fricking Wraith.

Umm, I don't think that's what he meant by RPG.

I think he meant Report Program Generator.

Re:Don't stop there!

[Cplus]

Ummm, I think he was being sarcastic.

Umm, maybe you were too....damn.

UV marker + Ultraviolet photon

[XNormal]

UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package.

In order for the UV marker to be really effective, add an Ultraviolet microlight. Together they can be very effective against, um... misplaced items.

Things to make people think you're bizzare?

[GregWebb]

We _were_, we did all sorts of strange things. I remember carpetting the tops of the two fridges in the kitchen so we had somewhere else to sit, the bar parasol perched over an indoor staircase or making an emergency washing line in the lounge using estate agent signs.

The one that springs to mind in particular, though, was Mike's. Lovely guy but sadly into the dance music ;-) So, he had various cool gadgets, such as a then-rare plasma ball and a smoke machine.

One time he was just sitting in his room, filling it with smoke, chilling out to some music. This room's at the back of the house so no-one can really see it.

Except that the front bedroom is opposite this room and has an open door and window. Now, this smoke's pretty thin and clear, so not a problem. Until someone comes up the stairs, because there was a comedy red light bulb halfway up the stairs. So, as they turned this on, a faint red glow was visible and people started to notice this thin smoke coming out of the window...

Neigbours called round :-)

Our Bodies, Ourselves

[cybermage]

Not that she won't have enough to read already, but send her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves . Part sex education, part woman education. All women should read this book. Heck, all men should read this book.

If you want subversive, this is it, by the way. Women get the short end of the stick in both sex ed and medical attention. This book fills in the gaps. Think of it as an owners manual for womanhood.

Don't Give a Girl "Guy" Presents

[scotpurl]

While many girls appreciate these gifts, it's derned close to that "my husband bought me a romantic clothes washer for our anniversary," or even, "my boyfriend changed the oil in my car for Valentine's day," or also, "My neighbor bought me a waffle iron for Christmas."

While we dudes appreciate a fine tool, it's not Chick stuff. The clothes washer and the waffle iron come with the implication, "MAKE USE OF THAT FINE APPLIANCE FOR ME RIGHT NOW YOU LAZY WOMAN. I HAVE A GAME TO WATCH. ONLY SUMMON ME IF THERE IS A FIRE OR SEX."

The lock pick set will be forgotten in the back of a drawer. The fine flashlight will be stolen at the first Rave.

Give the girl cash. Best gift. Accepted in 200+ countries and on 7 continents. No ID needed. Don't leave home without it.

Re:Don't Give a Girl "Guy" Presents

[Hacksaw]

Cash is great, but won't be used on truly useful items. Freshmen college students aren't noted for their planning ability.

The fact is, if I had an extra $200 my first quarter in college, I would have spent it on pizza and billiards.

And note, I had lots of tools at my parents house. I just didn't think to bring any of them.

Re:Don't Give a Girl "Guy" Presents

[Iffy Bonzoolie]

I got my girlfriend a PlayStation for Valentines Day one year. She thought it was the best Valentines Day gift she'd ever gotten.

The best gifts are things you wouldn't ever get yourself, but you find you can't live without once you have them. Cash/gift certificates might be useful, but they are terribly unthoughtful.

Besides, younger girls are far less chained to the 50's female gender roles that so many people can't get their heads around. Many girls actually like math and science, and like to hammer things or work on the car. My younger (female) cousin ASKED for a toolset last christmas. And, yes, she hugged it when she got it - but the point is that these stupid male/female roles don't make as much sense anymore. And good riddance to them!

Now, I'm going to go take a nice hot bubble bath...

-If

Re:Don't Give a Girl "Guy" Presents

[Technodummy]

that entirely depends on the girl (and a guy for that matter).

a thoughtless present is quite obvious, a clothes washer for instance, is not a present, it's a household appliance.

cash can be considered impersonal by many, and not just women...

buy her what she likes... if she likes tech toys, buy her tech toys...

but don't assume she's only interested in "girly" things, unless you know she is...

One word...

[Loki_1929]

Money.

It's what every college student wants, and what 99.999% do not have. Dispense it over the length of the two semesters and your college-bound student will be thrilled.

LED flashlight?

[SideshowBob]

What exactly is subversive about that?

First-Aid Kit...

[ectoraige]

Okay, possibly not the most subversive, but a properly stocked, compact first-aid kit she can dump in the bottom of here bag may just be the best thing to have.

And she might even then sign-up for a first-aid class to learn to use the thing...

Things That Would Have Come In Handy

[dbretton]

Brita Water Filter (school water sucked, plus H20 is a must for recovering from hangovers)

A bong, err... water filtration device.

A whole shitload of those day-after pills...

Hope that Helps!

Honestly, don't be such a hard ass

[seldolivaw]

So things were tougher in your day. Things nearly always were. But that's the kind of logic that would have us all living in caves and avoiding fire because raw meat was good enough for our grand-daddies. I'm at university, and you know what? My PDA is really useful, so screw you. It's not necessary, but neither was your 386. It just makes life easier, and probably better. By taking care of the simple things for her, she'll be able to concentrate on her *real* goals: aceing her degree, but more importantly running up huge debts, going to raves, and spending hours wasting time with her friends. Because university (or college) is what turns you into the person you will be for the rest of your life, and if you have to spend it busting your ass just to afford food, then it turns you into what, apparently, you are: a hard-ass with no sense of fun. I'd rather be the mollycoddled, whiny brat, if it's all the same to you.

And in case you're wondering, I don't scrounge off my parents. I paid for my £2000 computer myself, with money I earned working 9-5, and the same goes for most of the rest of the stuff that I own.

Re:Honestly, don't be such a hard ass

[guttentag]

I paid for my £2000 computer myself

That may be so, but I'll bet you had to get help carrying your 2000-pound computer up the stairs, Mr. I-Do-Everything-Myself...

Re:Honestly, don't be such a hard ass

[gosand]

By taking care of the simple things for her, she'll be able to concentrate on her *real* goals....Because university (or college) is what turns you into the person you will be for the rest of your life, and if you have to spend it busting your ass just to afford food, then it turns you into what, apparently, you are: a hard-ass with no sense of fun.

First off, I am no hard-ass. I am quite liberal, and I have had my share of fun. I coulnd't quite come off as such a hard ass if I told how much partying I did. But you know what? I got the job done FIRST. I saw so many people flunk out, or just quit going to class, because they had no sense of responsibility. THAT is what needs to be instilled in college kids. It isn't about being a hard ass at all. The only debt I came out of college with was from student loans, and they weren't that bad because I worked my way through as well. As long as you let kids sit on their ass and slide by, they will. Now this may be a stretch from the original poster, because I don't know anything about him or the girl he wanted to get things for.

I agree that the way you are at that age helps to make you who you are for the rest of your life. THAT IS EXACTLY MY POINT! Don't teach them that they don't have to do anything for themselves. What kind of a lesson is that?

I'd rather be the mollycoddled, whiny brat, if it's all the same to you.

It doesn't sound like you are, you said you paid for things yourself, and worked for what you got. That isn't being mollycoddled at all.

Re:Honestly, don't be such a hard ass

[chialea]

I just graduated from college (heading off to a summer job and then CMU for a PhD), and my parents and grandparents paid my way all the way though (barring the money I got from a summer job). I worked my ass off. I didn't party, though I did train karate and cook and sew. I got an honors degree. I have publications. I have a spot in a top CS grad school. I worked, but I wouldn't have been able to take research jobs if I hadn't been supported by my parents. Does that make me lazy? My parents paid for me, and for a lot of my friends, and I don't see them being lazy. I see them working hard to get into grad school (admissions was HARD for CS PhD's this year), and I see them working hard to find jobs.

If you're lazy, you're lazy. It's all about motivation. I know people who pay their way through who dropped out not because they couldn't pay for it, or because they spent too much time working, but because they weren't motivated enough. UC Berkeley tuition may be cheap, but I wouldn't call the housing around here affordable by any stretch of the imagination. Hours spent working for the rent may be better spent working on your classes, or for a prof. Take your head out of the sand.

Lea

Re:Honestly, don't be such a hard ass

[gosand]

Take your head out of the sand.

Please, Lea, wake up and take a look at the real world. In all honesty, congratualtions on your degree and your upcoming PhD work. (you'll need it!) :-) But you don't HONESTLY think that you are the "average" college student, do you? I don't have any ill feelings towards people who have their school paid for, that would just be sour grapes. I do find it sad when people get everything paid for yet they still are lazy, spoiled, and unappreciative. Again, it sounds like you had to struggle some. Maybe it was because you pushed yourself. You sound motivated. Do you think all college kids are motivated to do well? My point is that if you have a kid that isn't motivated, throwing money at them isn't going to help things. You are obviously a hard worker, and it sounds like even though your school was taken care of, you STILL worked hard for whatever reason. You have motivation. You are lucky, not everyone does. In fact, I think it is probably safe to say that most people don't have that kind of motivation. You seem to have learned that if you work hard, you can get somewhere. That is different than learning that you don't have to do anything and you can still get by. Totally different. Good for you. But don't think that everyone is like you. I am not trying to generalize and say "everyone who gets things paid for is lazy", but I think that if you are used to getting everything paid for, there are certain lessons that you just don't learn. When a phone call to your parents can pretty much clear up any financial issue, you miss something. Who knows, maybe you are set for life, and you won't have to worry about that kind of stuff. Not everyone is that fortunate.

MY head is in the sand? My parents couldn't just foot the bill for my education and my friends (?!). Surely you don't think that is how the real world works, do you?

Great Legal Items

[Mr. Fusion]

After finishing my first year at college, I have come to know and love the following items:

$10 in Quarters - I know they don't go as far as they used to, but that will get me through 8 loads of laundry, two months for women and almost a semester for guys (unless you keep meeting that HOT chick at the laundromat!) Don't forget they also save you in a pinch for those late-night snack cravings, parking meters, and condom dispensers. Which brings me to...

Condoms - Honestly, you never know when or where it might happen, but I've had moments where the only reason I didn't get laid was because I lacked the latex. Seriously, if you don't have as much self-control as I did, get a 3 or 6 pack. Speaking of 6 packs...

Red Bull - This little wonder has saved my ass so many frickin' times, it's unbelievable! Whether you need to pull an all-nighter or finish a last minute paper, just pop open some of that 'Liquid Schwartz' and you'll be on your feet in no time. Get them a 6 pack as well, because you never expect an emergency. Along with emergencies...

Obligatory Posters - Every college student is required by law to a poster depicting beer, drugs, sex, The Simpsons, guitar tabs, and/or that Maxell guy being blown away by his speakers. Movie posters are as must as well. While we're on the subject of pirated material...

CD-R's - It doesn't matter if you have a CD burner or not, someone else will. Combine that with the fact that every dorm room in America has ethernet jacks, you're bound to either find the perfect mix for your car or simply run out of hard drive space. You're bound to run into a situation where a CD-R will be required on the spot, I guarantee it. And lastly to broadcast these situations, you'll need a...

Web Cam - They're cheap, subversive, and a helluva lot of fun when you're drunk. 'Nuff said.

That's about all I can think of for subversive, legal gifts. Other non-subversive but greatly needed gifts include things like a personal fan, duct tape, tape (memo) recorder, cordless phone, sandals, wall clock, and AA batteries. Also, the new 'in' thing to have is a George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine, but for now I'll stick with my Mini-Me Microwave.

-Mr. Fusion

Car Related Items

[hether]

If she'll be driving to school, jumper cables (with instructions) and a Slim Jim or other car unlocking device will be good. A lot of people lock themselves out of their cars or leave the lights on and I'll admit I've done both countless times. She'll be popular on her floor if she knows how to use them and is willing to help people out.

Or instead, get her a AAA or Amoco Motor Club membership and they'll do those things for her for free plus throw in things like changing tires and bringing you gas if you run out. Memberships are pretty cheap, but invaluable if you have an emergency. Tow trucks come a lot faster if they motor club calls them. My parents got me a membership when I left home and I used it a lot but probably wouldn't have gotten it for myself.

Lockpicks

[sharkey]

Pop/candy/$ITEM vending machines, washer/dryer in laundry, access to RA's room to utilize UV pen, etc.

And yes, these are legal)

[Petersko]

Despite the fact that practically nobody uses these for snuff, they are, in fact, legal.

Re:Vibrators

[MartinB]

Aye, but not if she's going to be in Texas, where Vibrators are banned.

Re:How 'bout something she'll use?

[foonf]

A bong, a case of Pabst, and a bus pass.

Actually many colleges in urban areas give you bus passes for free. In that case, more of the other two.

You want subversive?

[reemul]

At most of the wildly left leaning schools here in the states, the most subversive thing you could get her is a subscription to the National Review, and an NRA membership.

More seriously, what you really need to give her is some form of emergency money that is a bit hard to cash out. I know that sounds stupid, but emergency money is useless if you already spent it on beer or twinkies. I used to keep a couple of small value winning scratch off lottery tickets in my car - I tended to mostly break even, and having a form of money that I could pretty much only spend at a gas station was a lifesaver more than once. Pre-paid phone cards are good for this too.

Oh, and that sticky putty stuff, that stuff rocked for putting stuff up on walls and such without messing up the surface and drawing a fine come the end of the semester.

Yeah, but...

[kzinti]

What's subversive about a PDA?

--Jim

Re:Well said. Screw the gadgets

[dfelznic]

Hah,
i thought the pen was for making those marks on your hands for getting into bars. Those things never look clear and always look like a glowing glob on your wrist. I guess you guys read too much slashdot...

Some things you should *NOT* give

[Paul Komarek]

Here's something I learned after moving to a new town to start grad school: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CONDITION, GIVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ITEMS TO A NEW COLLEGE STUDENT YOU CARE ABOUT:

1) Nintendo GameCube
2) Sony PS/2
3) Nintendo N64
4) Sony PSOne

Don't worry about the XBox. Once they finish Halo, they put the XBox in the closet and forget about it.

In case you have even the tiniest bit of sympathy for people living within 1 city block of the new college student, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CONDITION, GIVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ITEMS TO A NEW COLLEGE STUDENT:

1) Stereo capable of driving floor-standing speakers
1) Power amplifier stereo
3) Extra fuses for stereo
3) CDs of animal noises and/or other sound effects
4) Kris-Kross CD ("pump it up, Kris!")

I think I better revisit my shrink now. That second set of memories is far too strong. The good news is that finding a Kris-Kross CD is probably very hard these days. At least, I really, really hope that is true. The farmyard noises weren't so bad, but the "jet aircraft landing" got old fast.

-Paul Komarek

Being Female and in college I suggest ...

[SchrodingersKatt]

There are a few things that I have noticed missing. Being a subversive female at a major engineering school in the Midwest I have a few ideas.

1) LUBE ... I don't know a girl who doesn't have a bottle.

2) Purple Hair Dye - I live by it.

3) Piercing supplies - Daddy will love it that new ring!

4) A pack of twenty lighters, and a couple of ash trays.

5) A bunch of gift cards and phone cards. Cash just gets deposited; gift cards hang around until they are needed.

6) If it is possible find a way to pre-pay for her to go on a trip with a friend. Nothing makes Dad and Mom happier than to find out that you took off to the other coast for a weekend.

7) Hang over pills.

8) Find a way to pay for birth control pills.

9) The ACLU makes these little cards that explain what your rights are under different situations (e.g. you have a party, cops knock on your door, minior in possesion, etc).

10) Mace (I know this has been said)

11) Be her saftey net... call before her parent's supprise visit.

-Kat

In addition the to marking pen...

[Svartalf]

...don't forget the UV LED flashlight as well. They're real and they're out there. Spencer's has been carrying the single LED units for something like $8US in most locations. (They'll be behind the counter in most cases.). The light emitted is faintly violet and will strongly light up fluoresent materials up close. The link is to an agressive model with 3 LEDs, intended for professional use by jewelers and forensic scientists.

Gee, but how about...

[Rogerborg]

...you give her cash, and let her make up her own mind about what she needs.

Keychain blowtorch

[Wyzard]

Nobody seems to have yet mentioned those little 2" blowtorches that attach to a keyring. I'm sure one of those would come in handy to someone with a subversive streak.

Proper motivation.

[geekoid]

How about a contract that says she fails, she joins the Marines?
Every time her grades start to slip, Have a recruiter give her a call, and occasionally show up at a party she's attending.

Find out where the rich people hang out, get her to go there. Those contacts can be invaluable after college.

Lock picks are good, but be sure she knows how to keep her mouth shut. Legal or not, the school will impound them, and mark her record.

A book on spoofing IP would probably be good.

Leatherman

[type40]

When I first moved out into my own place I got a next day air package from my exhippie uncle. It had a Leatherman Wave (with the leather belt pouch) inside with hand written post-it saying, "This is your life line, don't lose it." I'll be damed if he wasn't right. So far its fixed cars (import and domistic) computers (mac and pc), Stereos (one Aiwa and a one old ass RCA Victrola) and opened more beers than some bar tenders.

PS. You don't need a lock pick set for B&A, That leatherman worked just fine for breaking into that fire station (long, very kinky story).

ibook or powerbook

[valmont]

the latest model of either one.
fully-loaded.

Items for cheap fun:

[graybeard]

1) juggling balls -- learning to juggle is a great way to get the blood moving when you need a break from the books. The beanbag style can double as hacky sacks.

2) frisbee -- sometimes by accident (wink, wink) they get thrown toward cute guys.

3) ukulele -- easy to play, and making your own music is so much better than listening to the same-old same-old on the radio.

What you really need when going to college

[pz]

Going off to college means, for many, real independence for the first time. So the first things you should think about including are in support of that, or, in related fashion, in support of what happens when that breaks down. Like a pre-paid phone card with a gazillion minutes on it. And, perhaps more importantly, your phone number enscribed on that phone card so that she can call an adult who is not her parent for non-judgmental advice, followed by the words "call any time of day or night." And when she does call at 3am, make sure you wake up, listen, and provide the support she needs.

As oft-mentioned in other replies, condoms. GOOD ones. And then, bone up on emergency anti-pregnancy procedures for that 3am call asking, "ohmigod Uncle Bob -- the condom broke, what do I do?"

An open account with a local taxi service so that she never, ever, ever has to worry about getting a ride home. The means to limit abuses of this are up to you.

Alcohol. The best place to learn about drinking is in the private, protected confines of your own dorm room. (Note, there are serious legality issues here which vary from state to state. Don't do something stupid and blame it on me.)

Anti-hangover remedies. My favorite is Berocca. Send a case. Ibuprofen. Send lots.

HIV home test kits (which are really home-sampling kits which you then send to a central lab for analysis). Not cheap, but she should have any guy she's thinking of having sex with tested.

*Assuming* she knows how to use basic handtools, a small toolbox with decent quality hammer, screwdrivers, and pliers is great. If she doesn't know how to use these tools, it is still a good idea, but not nearly as important. From your suggestion of lockpicks and flashlight, one might surmise she is perhaps mechanically inclined. If so, add small pocket knife, magnifying loupe, a pocket-sized set of jewlers tools. At the other end of the physical scale, a crowbar and a 3-lb sledge. A good digital multimeter (eg, Fluke 77-III or equivalent).

The person who recommended flip-flops and a shower basket was right on the money. Add some decent (and decent-sized) soap and a couple of small travel-sized bottles of her favorite shampoo and conditioner (or other toiletries).

Now, to be really *subversive*, send a set of infrared goggles, available at surplus houses everywhere. Add in works by Kant, Ionesco, Wittgenstein, Chekov and Orwell. A couple of remote listening devices. Books on how to swear in a dozen languages. Assuming she's going to college in the US, plane tickets to Europe (put those gazillion FF miles to work!). Safety pins (the most universally useful items, after knives). Fake wedding rings. Falsies (see the posting about breast implants and their universal utility). Wigs of different color or style from her normal hair. A get-out-of-jail-free card (see the phone card with your number on it, above).

But the most subversive thing you could possibly give is: encouragement.

A real life saver

[AtomicBomb]

University student will get drunk, stoned, arrested etc. A good dog tag can save the medics, police etc a lot of time and can potentially save some young soul...

It is a must for your friend's daughter. :->

ProPlus

[Salsaman]

ProPlus or caffeine tablets to help her keep awake through those first few morning lectures !

Easy!

[spongebob]

A Get out of Jail free card!

I wish I had one of those...

RE: Subversive Gifts for New College Students?

[ghengismcbangus]

Someone's already suggested tools, and I heartily agree. Think of the projects you likely did: hanging pictures and shelves, building bookcases and lofts, and imagine the tools that will help. I don't know how much you're planning to spend, but, here's a list of tools I used all the time during my college years:

NB: Don't bother buying cheap tools! remember: The bitterness of poor quality will be remembered long after the sweetness of low price has been forgotten.
The results of using a poor-quality tool vary from a frustrating experience when a hand tool almost does what it's supposed to, to a permanently-disfiguring accident when an under-powered saw jams, kicks back, and slices digits. If money is tight, it is better to buy good tools used than lousy tools new.

• Makita 9.6V cordless drill w/drill bits and driver bits - a total workhorse - I bought mine in 1987, used it all through school, then professionally for ten years. The only thing I've ever replaced are the NiCd batteries.
  This thing can drill holes and drive screws all day long. The entire entertainment industry runs on this tool.
• Saw - electric circular if you're going high $$$; high quality hand saw otherwise
• Hand Tools -
  • Good 20oz. forged hammer - Estwing is nice
  • 4-Way screwdriver - one double-ended shank, each end holding one double-ended bit
  • 30 ft. steel-bladed tape measure
  • Utility knife - I like the Stanley one that swings open butterfly-style, so you can change the blade without using a screwdriver
  • Vise-Grip brand locking pliers - accept no substitutes - there's Vise-Grip, and not exactly.
• Miscellaneous
  • Permacel Gaffer's Tape - available from theatrical/film supply houses - as useful as duct tape, but stronger, doesn't smell like dead horses, and leaves much less residue on removal
  • Assortment of screws, nails, bolts, nuts, plastic drywall anchors, etc.
  • Small tub of spackle and a flexible putty knife for filling holes made by above

I'm not going to venture into tools for electrical work - the freshman dorms probably won't afford much opportunity for adding ceiling fixtures, but if she's headed for an apartment, a pair of wire cutters, strippers, and a neon "is it hot?" tester get you pretty far.

A Vacuum Cleaner!!

[jgaynor]

because NOBODY has them and your floor gets Fsckin disgusting, tile or carpet.

Re:True.. (Or NOT)

[shogun]

So there are perfectly reasonable circumstances that a private citizen might own lock-picks. :P

Thats right officer I dont own any keys at all, I just carry around a set of lockpicks so that I never need to fumble for the correct key in the dark.

Re:Kegerator (Keg fridge)

[pcmills]

Hell, I have a keg of Pilsner Urquell in the fridge/keg box right now. At $120 per keg, its actually cheaper to buy a keg than bottles.

One I haven't seen yet:

[w3woody]

Snack of the month club from The Popcorn Factory. (http://www.thepopcornfactory.com).

It's great; a new snack each month delivered to your door. I'm sure she'd get a kick out of monthly snacks...

Re:A sense of identity

[ObviousGuy]

Temptation doesn't corrupt. It reveals.

Re:Length -- not girth -- is the question.

[Chasing Amy]

> A condom I can roll on all the way to the hilt has a better chance of staying put than some poor thing
> that barely gets half way there.

Length is a different matter entirely. Premium Japanese condoms are no shorter than premium American condoms, nor tighter for that matter.

You'd find that Kimono Microthins could even accomodate a big guy like Ron Jeremy pretty well--the thinness and high-grade latex result in a condom which stretches *easier* than most others, particularly thick American condoms made of low-quality latex which are apt to be uncomfortable because they don't stretch as easily. So, guys with girth ("long and thin goes too far in; short and thick does the trick") should be well-accommodated, and guys with length will find the condoms are as long as most others.

There are some guys who like baggy condoms--such as the deliberately baggy "Pleasure Plus" and such. Me, I like to feel the girl and not the condom--and Kimono MicroThins are the next best thing to bareback. ;-)

office supplies

[Khopesh]

Three-hole punch
Push-pins (LOTS
Rolls of quarters
Printer
Desk fan
Desk lamp
TI-89 calculator (the one that DOES ALL YOUR INTEGRALS AND DEREVATIONS FOR YOU)

...all essentials, usually forgotten.

Re:How about nothing. Here's why...

[jeko]

Let's see, two grand for a 386 puts you in college in the mid-80's. I'm going to try to put this as gently as I can, in the hopes that you might listen to it and spare some kids some grief.

I too paid for my own college. I could not afford a computer of any kind. I graduated in 1989, paid for entirely on my own dime. I too resented the frat rats who were handed everything while I worked two, and at one point, three jobs.

Now, you need to understand, that sometimes the world can change. Brace yourself, get a stiff drink, and try to cope with the fact that while lower-end wages have fallen, tuitions have multiplied.

After taking a few more courses in 1995, I realized that there is no way in hell I would have my degree if I had tried to go to school just six years after I graduated. Tuition had doubled, and for the tech-related courses, tripled. In economic terms, you had it easy.

Looking back, the kids who truly got the most out of school were the ones who didn't have to spend 50 hours a week working like I did. My kids will go to college with all the trimmings, fully funded, and I will be proud that I could give them something I didn't have.

You aren't "helping your kids grow." What you're really doing is taking your bitterness out on them.

X10 reciever and a portable recorder. and $0.25s

[cosyne]

Not sure how popular the x10 cameras are on campuses these days, but someone has to be buying them. And perhaps blindly broadcasting god knows what around the dorms. Which might have immense blackmail value if recorded with an x10 reciever and cheap camcorder or framegrabber (either of which could be cool things to have by themselves).

And I can't agree enough with the quarters. Preferably a sock full of quarters. Great for laying the smack down, laundry, vending machines, making change (good way to get friends OR $1 for $0.75, usually not both...) etc. Not that any of these are nearly as important as pinball. Mmm, pinball.

And for the more subversive stuff, maybe a linesman's handset, screwdrivers, wire, pliers, etc.

Ohhh, and an 802.11b card.

ok, that's about it. 'cept maybe some fuel. Everyone in college likes fire. I preffer isopropyl alcohol.

Re:How about nothing. Here's why...

[buss_error]

Or a care package every month.

I'd give her...

[chris_sawtell]

the understanding that she has the absolute right to say "No".

Required reading

[KFury]

A copy of The Ethical Slut.

Re:Vibrators

[Bonker]

Uhmm... Sorry. Despite the fact that sex toys and sodomy (and by the strictest definition -- anything other than hetero, vaginal sex) are on the books as illegal in TX, dildos are still sold quite openly in the right stores.

I've been to Forbidden Fruit in Austin. Lived next to it for almost a year since it's across the street from the UT student commons, as a matter of fact. Just said no when my buddies tried to convince me to get a body piercing there. Ahem...

AT ANY RATE... They did indeed openly sell a wide array of sex-related merchandise... Including leather ball-sacs, cock-rings, love-beads, and yes, vibrators and dildos. Mind you, this was in '93, and I don't live in Austin any more. Any Austinites care to confirm or dispell my dated data?

so just eat first

[autopr0n]

Much, insert, fuck. How hard is that?

Re:OT: Your sig

[os2fan]

I'm not sure. I had a recent message that went

+2 karma 49
+1 Interesting karma 50
-1 Offtopic karma 49
+1 Underrated karma 49
--
3 Offtopic karma 49

This suggests to me that a message is the normal sum (with the least desirable showing), and this is what the karma goes.

It's as if all your good karma is added first, and all the bad stuff taken off second :(

Rollerblades

[zilym]

I know most people on campus didn't have inline skates, but a few did, myself included. They totally rock on a large university campus with tons of sidewalk. Didn't need to worry about trying to schedule classes held in buildings close enough together to walk between, only to have the professor declare the meeting room has been moved across campus the day after drop/add week ends.

IMHO, skates are way better than a bike. I always hated bicycles because they take up too much space to carry with you so you have to waste time parking/locking, only to have your bike stolen anyway. You can simply carry your skates with you into class, never lost a pair.

You can't manuever a super crowded sidewalk in a bike very easily, but with inline skates you can (after the first year or so).

If you ever get a relationship going on, skates are a lot of fun too. Imagine trying to hold hands or hold each other close while bicycling? With skates, can do (ok, maybe only after that first year or so and only if your SO is into skating too).

Be sure to include some wrist guards and knee pads for that first year learning period.

Tools are a lifesaver!

[Raetsel]

Somewhat depressing what we come up with here... not subversive at all, unless you consider the ability to reconfigure your dorm furniture at will subversive...

There are many posts about tools... certainly very important, and I can't emphasize the need for quality tools enough.

My list (in order of decreasing priority) would be something like:

1. 14-ounce hammer
2. Craftsman screwdriver, #2 Philips
3. Craftsman screwdriver, 3/16" Straight
4. Medium (6 or 8 inch) adjustable wrench, Craftsman or Crescent brand
5. 'Regular' Craftsman pliers
6. Leatherman | Victorinox SwissTool | Craftsman needle-nose pliers
7. Craftsman wire cutters
8. A simple pocket multimeter (if she's likely to use it)
9. Non-contact live-wire detector (again, only if useful)

I'm displaying my expensive loyalty to Sears here. It's been worth it to me, as I've had Craftsman tools work (and survive!) in situations that would wilt another tool. (I'm thinking mainly about screwdrivers.) Now that I've gotten into making this list, a few truly subversive tools do come up:

• A set of the special Cable TV tools (they'll be really popular!)
• A set of security hex wrenches (the ones that have a hole drilled in the center, the fasteners are usually found on those damn "tamper resistant" thermostat covers)
• A network card that will allow you to change its' MAC address easily, and the knowledge to use it (I know, not really a tool in the sense I've been writing about... but it has subversive possibilities.)

There is much more... personal preference and taste will certainly dictate changes. But this (meaning all the comments posted so far) is one hell of a start!

Re:Kegerator (Keg fridge)

[proj_2501]

Yes, but Pilsner Urquell is disgusting, so what's the point?

Re:A sense of identity

[Shade, The]

I find it completely the opposite. People act the way they want to act because they're no pressure to conform. You want to be a liberal vegetarian? Fine. A hard rocker with spiked hair. That's cool too.

Although here in the UK people usually start drinking before University, or at least don't see it as such a big deal. Alcohol isn't much fun without dancing anyway (unless it's really good alcohol :).

Um, ok, so I'm sorta rambling here. But you get the point :)

C-Pen

[ciryon]

I wish I had a C-Pen when I studied. It reads text and can translate it. Perfect for students!

Ciryon

Re:lockpick set?

[jlanthripp]

Just wondering, how did you confirm that they were in fact the owners of the car you were hired to break into? Did you have access to the car rego database so you could check their ID or something?

On the occasions that my girlfriend has locked her keys in the car and had to call a locksmith, not once has she ever been asked for proof of identification or proof of ownership of the car. I have since added a copy of her car key to my own keychain, BTW, and conservatively estimate that we've saved about a thousand dollars in locksmithing expenses by doing so.

A reasonably entertaining story, related to this topic: The one time I locked my keys in my car, I was at a shopping mall. The mall security rent-a-cops lent me a coat hanger from their office in the mall with the express purpose of breaking into my car. They didn't ask me for identification, proof of car ownership, not even for my name. For all they knew, I could have been stealing the nicest car in the lot with a coat hanger they had loaned me. And this was when I was about 19 years old, with hair down to my waist and wearing an Exhorder t-shirt that was adorned with a skull, an upside down cross, and the words "Get Rude" - not exactly the epitome of a "clean cut" type. After I was done, BTW, I returned the mangled coat hanger to the rent-a-cops, hopped in the car, and lit up a joint while driving out of the parking lot.

Cigars

[big_cat79]

But they won't be for her. Pot smokers are notoriously lazy. And they are always wanting cigars so they can make blunts. My RA was a major stoner. He'd light up at least 3 or 4 times a day. But he never wanted to go to CVS to get Phillies. So, I became an entrepaneur.

I went and bought a whole box of Phillies, which cost me about $10 for 50 cigars. Then I sold them for a $1 a piece (you can get them for $.25 at the store). So I'd make $40 profit about every 2 weeks selling to all the potheads on my half of the building, so I could get my drug of choice: beer.

You mentioned a lockpicking set, so...

[alumshubby]

...back in '84 or so, I remember a dormmate at UT Austin mentioning that he'd carefully searched and found no books on locksmithing anywhere on campus. (And believe me, Texas has a whole lot of well-stocked libraries.)

Just thought I'd mention this in the interests of good citizenship. ;o)

Austin != Texas

[MartinB]

Borderline flamebait I know, but both my (limited) experience and that of friends living in Austin and elsewhere in Texas suggests that Austin is a little enclave of non-Texas liberal culture in the middle of a whole sea of Texas.

Simply put, you can get away with stuff in Austin you just couldn't anywhere else in the state.

Re:How about nothing. Here's why...

[gosand]

Looking back, the kids who truly got the most out of school were the ones who didn't have to spend 50 hours a week working like I did. My kids will go to college with all the trimmings, fully funded, and I will be proud that I could give them something I didn't have. You aren't "helping your kids grow." What you're really doing is taking your bitterness out on them.

Hey, I know that it sucked to work constantly while in school. And I probably would have been able to learn more and do better in my classes if I had to work less. Or, I might have spent that time dicking around, like one of my roommates who didn't work. But ask yourself this: What did YOU learn from your college experience? Not just in your classes, there is more to it than that. It sounds like you are doing OK for yourself. Since you worked throughout school, you probably learned that it feels GOOD to make it on your own. In the long run, what is better - to have a good work ethic, or to have no worries at all? Which is more realistic?

And for the record, I don't have kids, so I am not taking anything out on anyone. I do understand that you want to be able to help your kids as much as you can. I am not saying that helping them is wrong, but you have to help them in the right ways. Help them to help themselves. They might not like it so much at the time, but later in life they will appreciate it. And if you have the money to help them with tuition, do it! There is nothing wrong with that, maybe you can spare them the hell of paying back student loans. But don't help them so much that they don't appreciate the idea of doing something for themselves. It's OK if they have to struggle a little bit.

Re:How about nothing. Here's why...

[gosand]

I bet you were really popular with the ladies... Am i right?

I held my own. It is amazing how far you can go on confidence and self-respect.

Re:Thank heavens mine was a 486!!!

[gosand]

Seriously, though-- just because you had no fun whatsoever in college, doesn't mean it can't be done without help from some other source. This guy is talking about getting her a FLASHLIGHT for pete's sake. Hardly coddling.

And a lockpick set. (?!)

Hey, I didn't say I didn't have fun. Nearly every weekend was a whole-lotta-drinkin. But I got the job done FIRST. If I didn't have my classwork together, I didn't go out - period. And I went to every class. It was hilarious to see guys struggling, complaining that the class was too hard, or the instructor wasn't fair, and they only came to about 1/2 the classes.
I know the poster was talking about a care-package, and it wasn't even his kid. But I was making more of a point in general. It's OK to get help from somewhere else, there is nothing wrong with that. But give the right help to someone. Struggling is OK. Give them something that they can use in 10 years (self-reliance) instead of a Playstation.

Reminds me of college...

[nahdude812]

A great big basket of golfballs (half an hour at your local driving range at 2 am will greatly reduce the cost of this), and instructions to stand at the end of the hall, at 4am during finals week before upending it and running.

Nothing better than 80 sleep deprived, angry, bleary eyed college students all trying to figure out who did that.

you forgot "and wear sunscreen"

[deft]

baz lehrmer? is that you? :)

Loewen's "Lies My Teacher Told Me"

[scubacuda]

Add to that Lies My Teacher Told Me by James Loewen.

Geeze, when did free stuff become evil?

[Dreamweaver]

I'd love to get random care-package gifts if I went away to live in a dorm (I moved out at 17, so never did the dorm thing). Even if the stuff is pointless, useless, or bizarre it'd still be nice to know that someone stopped and thought about me.

And the mentioned items are hardly tools for vicarious thrill-seeking. A lot of the stuff posted is, but lockpicks, a UV pen, and an LED light are just useful. Sure, you Could use any of them to get yourself in trouble, but they all have a lot of legitimate, "Hey, you might find this handy; I know I would have when I was your age" uses.

Perhaps you should just let your father's friends know that you're this ungrateful. Then when you find yourself locked out of your dorm room you can think back with vindication and be happy that you avoided becoming someone's puppet by accepting gifts.

TI-89

[Khopesh]

depends on your college
I've never seen an instance where a TI-8x (0,1,2,3,5,6) was accepted but the TI-89 was not