Slashdot Mirror
Most Fun Way to Leave a Bad Job?
medscaper asks: "I have an awesome opportunity this morning. Since the market is opening up, I was offered a great new tech job over the weekend, and have been stuck in a miserable one for the past several years. I spend more time stressing out and anxious about keeping my job than getting any quality work done. I'm SO looking forward to walking into my boss's office this morning to let him know that I'll be leaving. I'm tempted to do it with style, especially because I got a (completely unwarranted) PHB-style threatening lecture last week about my work habits. I really don't need the recommendation or a reference, so it doesn't matter much how I leave. Should I politely give the standard 2-weeks? Or should I have a little fun with it and burn some bridges? Anyone have any stories to relate?"
Fight your boss, or better yet, if he has a 'private' office, kick the shit out of yourself and make him call security, and make it look like he beat you when you told him you'd be leaving.
Tell nicely them you're leaving in two weeks, and they'll likely escort you out NOW. As you are leaving, tell them you are available for two weeks at $200/hr (for any part of an hour) to answer any questions.
Tell them you need to be paid in adavance.
Good luck in your new job.
The latest Slashdot meme.
Have you never seen Office Space?
everyday is another shooter.
Take a two week vacation and come back to a message saying something like, "So I guess your not going to work here anymore, come get your last paycheck." It worked for me, it should work for you!
P.S.
I did let the mean old lady know I was going on vacation, she just forgot.
Devise, Repair, Solve, Build
Yeah sure have fun, but don't do anything that would get you sued or in jail.
:-).
Have fun, and by all means, tell us what you do
-Dan
Yeah, it might be fun, but you never know when you will bump into people you worked with down the road.
"Derp de derp."
You NEWER know where someone will end up in 5 years. The Boss you screw over today could be interviewing you in 5 years at some other company.
I know a guy who used to work in a specific industry, then went to work for one of the large consulting firms. He was sent to one of the companies to pitch a $30M project. He ended up pitching to someone he had seriously screwed a number of years earlier. Needless to say regardless of his current companies abilities, they didn't get the contact.
I could write paragraphs on pranks you could pull, but frankly if you can't think of your own, it would be pointless - you're not the type.
The only other "meaningful" way to go would be to use the opportunity to give a message to the downtrodden you're leaving behind. Show them just how lazy, insubordinate, and unmotivated one can be without actually getting fired (for the duration of however long you have left) - just be a really bad example to other employees, and watch management squirm in their inability to fire you in today's litigious climate... ideally, the outcome of this act could be that everyone else will realize their true position, begin acting similarly, and perhaps management will be forced into a corner with regards to how they treat their 'human resources'. Businesses treat employees like shit only when they think they can get away with it.
See the movie "Office Space" for some hints.
Perfectly Normal Industries
Have some fun and paint a big red penis on your PHB's door, reminiscent of Penny-Arcade.
make inappropriate joke humiliating said boss
"Fuck you,fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, fuck you, I'm out."
I've been tempted to do that one at work, since I'm about to leave a fast food job for a much better paying software development job.
Arguing about vi versus Emacs is like arguing whether it's better to make fire by rubbing sticks or banging rocks.
Seriously, AC is giving you solid advice -- don't burn bridges. Doesn't matter if he's an asshole. You never know who you're going to work with again or why circumstances should conspire to make you do so...
See how long it takes to get fired. You might just get another paycheck out of it. Make sure to bring in a boom box so you can freak out and dance your way out. Wear a tshirt saying something like "^Name$ buggers blind billy goats!" with the goatse pic on the back.
I hate the "bridge" anecdote. People aren't bridges. If they are fuckwits, cut 'em loose, you don't want to work with them again anyway. The real people will outshine those lesser lifeforms that will still be in middle management 10 years from now, while you are out sailing in your new sailboat all summer (personal experience, still doing it). Treasure the gems, flush the feces.
Go into your PHB's office and ask for a promotion or a raise or just about what ever you want keeping in mind that he most likely will not give it to you. Then tell him that he has two weeks to think about it.
NarratorDan
"If you're not confused by quantum mechanics, you really don't understand it." - Niels Bohr
They never seen to run out. So now, I hope to meet my future wife by giving invites to women.
Slashdot women are my 'type'.
The latest Slashdot meme.
never burn bridges.
Unique.
About a year ago I was working in the tech support department in one of the universities in Toronto. Every summer the older employees had to create presentations to train the new employees before the school year would start. My task, as luck would have it, was to teach them how the wireless network was set up, and what software/hardware was required to connect to it. As any good employee, I spent a couple of my afternoons working on the Powerpoint slides, got it ready on time even though I did not get paid for the extra time I worked on it.
The setup was fairly involved because it required a VPN client that was not easy to set up, and a user name and password, which again, were complicated to obtain. On top of that, each MAC address had to be registered with the server. A day before the presentation, the entire system was changed. the VPN client was dumped in favour of a proxy system, which still required a user name and password. Needless to say, my presentation was worthless, and I was required to redo it within a day. I started working on it, but because I had made plans for the evening, I decided to finish it at the last moment the next day. I never got around to it.
I should mention this was not a 9-5 job, the shifts were 4 hours long. I even had to work from 3-11pm and then the next morning from 8am-3pm. Now for the rest of my story.
The day my unfinished presentation was due was such a beautiful, hot summer day I decided to ride my motorcycle to work. I thought I could wing it on the spot, and the whole way I kept thinking of it. The closer I got to the campus though, the more I dreaded having to deal with a problem I had not created. So I rode into the campus when I saw one of my supervisors walking around. But instead of turning into the parking lot, I just kept on going.
Later that evening I pulled up on a friend's driveway in Ottawa, about 450km away from the stupid presentation and my former job. I came back a week later to collect my last paycheck. That's how I quit my bad job.
Help what friends you have try to get other jobs. Try to encourage a mass migration.
09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
I went in & quit with clumps & streaks of dog shit on my face. I didn't point it out. Didn't say anything. Best part was rubbing my chin at the end and then extending my now dog shit covered hand for a parting hand shake.
Bitches. Show'ed them who's boss.
The IT industry is small, and as much as I've wanted to do that in the past, I'm glad I didn't. That being said, I give you this:
. html
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/33123421
I hope that any ideas it gives you are deserved of the people on the receiving end.
Need Free Juniper/NetScreen Support? JuniperForum
give it to 'em straight up. Let them know exactly what the deal is, how you feel, why you're leaving, and why your productivity has been hampered. Let them know that you are leaving for a better work environment and you decided easily at the drop of a hat. The truth is always more powerful than some hammed-up thing. The more eloquently and succinctly you drive home your points, the more it will sink into your boss' head. The truth hurts. Let them know that the method of management is severly lacking, blah, blah ,blah. ........maybe give your boss a "gift"...like a cigar, all wrapped up nice with a bow and your name on....."TO: BOSS"/ inside the package instead have a big note "I QUIT ... happy birthday jackass" this would make him initially think you're trying to be a brown-noser or something ......../as much as you can before you quit....REALLY start slacking off and being a jerk and doing things wrong and messing things up...HAHA... ...../call in very serious like in a serious tone....say you are not coming to work because you are dead, or some other REALLY corny excuse ........I could think of more, but I gotta get some sleep
Hey,,,,here's an idea...... rig up ALL the office printers to print out at the same time your act of quitting....in LARGE BOLD FONT.
here's another one....sneak in really early into your boss' office and fill it full with helium balloons....have printed on the balloons: "I QUIT....'your name'"
set a furby on his desk in front of him....this furby should have been taught what to say beforehand. The furby will speak your mind for you. Feel free to be uncouth as you want.
good luck...tell us what it was you actually did though
>>>>>> Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.
Instead of spending your time pulling pranks, why not make full use of it to fuck over the people there that made your life hell.
Don't put in your notice. Pretend you don't have another job, but do everything in your power to get people canned, including your boss. Got an email exchange with your boss somewhere where he is just plain wrong? Well, forward it to his boss, explain that you are sick of his technical ineptitude and it's affecting your entire department. Got an email where your boss cracks a sexual joke, didn't that offend you? Was there a time when you boss make a sexual with others around? Well, tell HR and say you have witnesses.
I think I could get every single co-worker I've ever worked with fired just over the sheer amount of sexual jokes they've made.
Once you complain to HR, they won't fire you, they'll be too afraid to. They might ask you to quit and offer you a nice severance. Or you do 2 weeks of complaining to HR, and then at the end of it just walk in and tell them you can't take it anymore and you're seeking legal counsel for harrassment (not necessarily sexual, any comments made that degrade you or make you feel bad are legal ammo). Maybe they'll offer you a nice severance.
You can get revenge and capitalize on this deal, don't pass it up. Let us know how it goes.
Don't piss anyone off! While it may be satisfying to finally tell some one off, it's just not worth it. Look at it this way; it doesn't cost you anything to just quietly and politely leave. Whereas your boss or some one he knows may one day be in a position to make life difficult for you. I've burned bridges in the past, and have almost always regretted it. I have never had occassion to regret the few opportunities I've been smart enough to take the high road. You can certainly express unhappiness as you leave, but I would avoid doing anything rash. Just my two cents.
"fist in the air in the land of hypocrisy"
I once left a dismal job a few years back. I tore up my office, made it a total mess. There were dead-man switches galore, and I 'accidentally' broke every build. I clogged several toilets, on multiple floors, in both mens and womens restrooms. I brought in a bunch of rotten food, and left it in various locations. I installed a ton of spyware and uninstalled all virus checking software, after filling the network shares with several gigabytes of the most nasty pornography I could find. I filled my desktop machine with quick-dry cement. On the way out, I even scraped my boss's dinky little car with my truck.
That was one of the most satisfying experiences in my life. I can't wait to get into a crappy job again!
One future, two choices. Oppose them or let them destroy us.
Uzi.
I've known _of_ employers who would offer a job but not follow through if the prospective employee was willing to dump their previous employer without notice.
So, you say you're already employed?
Yes, but I'm not very fond of the work
So can you start immediately?
Sure.
Sorry, can't hire you.
Did you expect better from the mods?
Give two weeks notice, then quietly steal office supplies.
This will certainly burn some bridges, but if you think it's worth it - and that you are wroth it - then do it.
Please remember, it's not a good thing to burn bridges at all if you're not outstanding at what you do - but if you're one of the most excellent people at our place, and you will be missed due to your skills, then it may be worth it.
However, from your story - it seems that your workplace isn't very fond of you, and that it will be interpreted as sour grapes if you do anything. That will not be a good thing.
Anyways, if by chance, you are a very productive, very well skilled person - then write up a letter on why you are leaving the company, why your direct superior is an asshole, and so forth. Tailor several letters. The one about your superior should be slipped to his superior. The one about other people should be slipped to their superiors. Make it perfectly clear why you are leaving the job - and make sure to let the real bosses know what work you've actually done that is very, very good.
Normally, though. If it's you that do not fit in, don't play any pranks - just inform your boss that you're not happy with the work environment, and that you've found another place where your skills will be used properly. That you wish this would be the case at the place you're leaving - but that the situation wasn't working out.
"Rune Kristian Viken" - http://www.nwo.no - arca
Give them a two weeks notice and use that two weeks to start taking the comments out of your code!
Or make sure you have some hardware at home that belongs to them. If you're in good with certain people, you might get to keep it. I got to keep a laptop (dead now), an iPaq, and a pretty decent monitor that I had borrowed. Of course, I was laid off, maybe they we're trying to avoid an incident (it wasn't Friday, after all).
The worst thing I did... I worked in the shoe department (the worst department there is, even the janitors pitty you), this *HOT* girl is standing back towards me, looking at some shoes. As I walk by the says without looking at me, "What do you think of these ones?" to which I reply, "I'm sorry mam, for what occassion?" then it dawns on me she's probably flirting, and she says, "oh I thought you were my father, I'm sorry!" to which I reply, "Well, you never know ;-)" ... just as these words leave my lips a grumpy 50 year old man in overalls and a half shaved beard walks up behind me and says "I DON'T THINK SO SON!" Then it occurs to me the girl is more like 17 instead of 21. but oh well.
Oh, topic ... um, so how I quit was, well nevermind it wasn't nearly as funny as that story.
Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley
A friend of mine thought up the best leaving job move I've ever heard of. His idea was to put his hands inside two raw chickens (dead ones) and run around the office banging his hands on peoples keyboards.
If that doesn't burn you some bridges I don't know what will!
windows media crap:
e f=8&type=h
http://www.fdjeux.com/jeux/pop_pub.php?jeu=loto&r
Look at it this way. Your company has allowed your boss to survive and maybe even flourish. You need to strike back and the only way you can do that is to conceal the truth. In your exit interview (if you do have one) don't say that you're leaving because of a PHB. Think up some other reason. If possible, praise your boss. That will mean that he'll be given more control in the company and will piss off more people, who will also leave. The people who leave will also share your opinion and that might indirectly make your boss unemployable in many other companies. They will also bad mouth your former employer wherever they go and that will make it difficult for your former employer to find replacements for the people who leave. At the very least, you will have the satisfaction that your former employer will have to look for more than one replacement after you leave. That's the best way to strike back at the environment which shelters PHBs.
Depends how good you are, my mate was on £23k a year ago, and had had enough, told his boss he wanted more money or he was off, so they gave him £26k, this year he didnt even have to approach his boss, they approached him and gave him £29k.
The only problem is when your either crap and they don't want you any way, or your boss is an ass who thinks your bluffing. Then of course you are going to have to find a new job because you know they wont promote you anyway.
If at first you DON'T succeed, Skydiving is NOT for YOU!!
Can you get a list of company email addresses? You know what to do. That pack rat next to you never clean up? Maybe a stinky piece of cheese or a dead rat stuck behind a wall plate will change his mind in a week or two. Office gossip? Return the favor. Tube of graphite in someone's new computer? Magnets in their monitor base? Get a photo and post them on a gay singles site. I think that's enough for now.
Someone hates these cans.
Hei, that's the movie in which some people work for IT, and one day most of them get fired although they told every lie imaginable to the "evaluating team", and the only guy who escaped that was the one who just said the truth to them ?, and at last one guy burn the buiklding after discovering a 200 grand check or so ?, that was quite a good movie
Just because you no longer work there doesn't mean you're immune from lawsuits.
And yes, "a fortnight ago" is a valid CVS time specification. (Probably grew out of people trying to follow that kind of advice... *grin*)
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
In my previous job I've been working in Ireland for some time. The job was so dissatisfying though that I spent almost all day surfing around monster.com to find another job. I finally came across a nice offer located in the Netherlands. I tossed some emails back and forth with the job agency, had a telephone interview or two and eventually got an invitation for a live interview. So I went to my supervisor, asking for two days off (to fly over to the Netherlands, which of course I didn't tell him). He didn't give me any time off, as we were a little short on people. I went anyway, planning to call in sick, which I forgot in the process though.
;o)
I got the job in the Netherlands, went to my old job the next day as every morning, typed away a nice resignation letter, had a 10 minute talk with my boss where I told him how his company stinks (politely though) and left.
Those where pretty fun days back then.
Bitten Apples are still better than dirty Windows...
Subject: After you - I insist
From: Greg Boyle, IS Department
Richard:
Seriously - I'm extremely uncomfortable poking through SR's hard drive for files you insist you need. I'm not that interested in being the one who gets in trouble if it's discovered. Are you sure this is important enough to risk getting found out?
Anyway, I think I grabbed nearly everything you asked for. Just to be safe, and just in case someone else somehow gets hold of this, I have encrypted the files the usual way. You need to determine the password in order to access the files, but that shouldn't be too difficult a task for a smart guy like you, I'm sure.
Once I am done here, I will dispose of this computer, making sure the contents are irretrievable. I hope you approve.
Fallaces sunt rerum species,
GB
Discretely pack up your things and save any documentation or files you want to take along, and write a polite letter giving two weeks (or however much you agreed on) notice.
Ask if "they" would like feedback, and write a list of what bugged you, what was good, and what could have been done better.
Finish what you were working on if you can, offer to take care of any handover work, as you firmly should state that you will not be available for it after you have left.
Don't burn bridges; it's not so much that these people might come back to haunt you someday, as that it's an adolescent thing to do.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Few years ago I was about to leave to another company and a position.
:)
I told my boss I was leaving, we started organizing my duties to my colleagues etc.
Few days later I was told from my new employer, that my deal has just changed: completely different position. They told me this change by _email_!
I was very happy, that I was nice to my old boss. He let me stay, and I worked about one year after this at my old job.
So, I'd recommend being nice for your boss
Eleknader
Actually, they can take legal action. Criminal legal action, at that. Any damage done to the machines would count as vandalism; over a certain threshhold of monetary damage and the action moves into felony range.
There are also laws on the books regarding not only relieving one's self in public, but you could probably fit excreta into the definition of hazardous or medical waste; certainly improper disposal laws would apply in this case.
Finally, if somebody happens to walk in during the... er... process of elimination, it's called indecent exposure. Were he to be convicted of that last count, it means manditory registration as a sex offender.
As fun as it might sound, I wouldn't consider it worth the risks.
There's so little difference between politics and jihad lately...
So what you're saying is... your post isn't redundant.
My post would be both redundant and trollish if I ware to say he's an idiot now, so I won't.
Who cares, my karma sucks anyway...
It will happen.
Install Red Hat on your boss's machine. That will surely make him miserable!
End of Line.
- Do some kind of childish stunt. That might make you feel good for a while, but it won't convince your asshole boss that he treated you badly. In fact, he'll use your childishness to justify his assholedness. "You see why I was easing him out?"
- You can find some way to make upper management aware that you're leaving in part because your boss is an asshole. Think out that will make him look with his boss.
That's the basic choice. I'm sure you can fill in the details yourself.If so you can always leave your job the Homer Simpson way and play your boss's head like a bongo.
Monstar L
I never have mod points when I want them!
a lot of people here assume that 'style' means 'pissing of as many of your superiors and possibly cow-orkers as possible'.
:)
Try to go for something that everyone, including your boss (unless s/he is a real prick), will think 'wow. what a cool guy.'
Unfortunately I can't think of anything that wouldn't just make 'em mad
Be constructive, mature and professional - you'll be bound to run into some of these folks again.
Now having said that is it that your boss is malicious, and you want to take an eye for an eye? Have you really been an exemplary employee? So you really want to make work unpleasant for the rest of the possibly innocent folks by doing something juvenille?
The best thing to do is to give your 2 weeks notice, and WORK 9-5 dilligently, but at an unstressed level. Who knows, you might encourage a little velvet revolution after you leave.
..........FULL STOP.
Give two weeks notice, and leave politely. Its not about burning bridges - its about creating a stigma for yourself. After all, what will your new employer think of someone who has a job now but is available to start "immediately" - that's a bad first impression.
The scenario that you have just presented is something that I have personally dealt with..
I had someone who applied to me for work and as I interviewed him, it became clear to me that he was quite good and I fully intended to recruit him.
But towards the end of the interview when I asked him when he would be willing to join, he stated something along the lines that "sooner is better" since he wanted to slight those who were then employing him.
I told him that I couldn't employ someone with that attitude and he lost, what would otherwise have been, an excellent job.
Bitch please...
Thank-you, Captain Obvious!
The world is a lot smaller then you think and eventually whatever you do at this job will come back to haunt you. So unless you are independently wealthy and work for fun I would advise you to be professional and just turn in your notice and leave it at that. Making an ass out of yourself by doing something funny will only be a detriment later.
Don't ask me what his point was...... It was just funny to watch because PHB got even more pissed but had no idea what to do........
In the good old days the only way to communicate long distance was by telegram. Journalists used to send stories, and get instructions in this way. You got charged by the word, so a texting like short hand, called telegraphese developed. Some of the best telegrams reached the levels of poetry. My favourite one was actually a resignation letter, and it was just four words...
"Up stuff job arsewise"
If you're leaving a job, do so in style, my advice.
Phil
This idea made me recall the story above. Hope the servers are turned off!
Be faithful and give your two weeks. Let them know that this new oprotunity will give you more room to grow than you've felt that your current working conditions will currently allow for. And for added bonus, bring in bagels or doughnuts on your last day. That my friend, is style.
"War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left"
Steven Wright
It may feel good to go out with a bang, but other than that, what's the point? Anything dramatic that you do will just reflect negatively on you. Not only with management, the people who are the butt of the joke, but with other coworkers that you have nothing against, some who you may even get along with.
If those people who respect you know that you're leaving because of the BS environment, but you're still professional, give two weeks notice, etc, they may look you up in the future when they need someone with your skillset.
I once worked for a company where management would throw temper tantrums and threaten to fire everyone. That's how hostile they were. For my review, my performance and productivity was praised, and I was offerred a "promotion" from hourly to salaried at the same rate. Since this company actual docked people's pay for showing up late and/or leaving early, and required salaried people to work unpaid overtime, I recognized this as the paycut it was. While it may have been fun to screw over the company, I did something much worse. I left, giving about 10 minutes notice. The people I worked with knew it was because of the hostile and dishonest management. Apparently they had some serious problems after that.
I've never heard anyone look back on what they've done in the past and say "I wish I had been less professional at that job". On the other hand, I've heard of things that people have done in the past that I would hold against them if I were doing the hiring.
Revenge is fun and intensely satisfying. However, it's a tool that can only be used for evil, never for good. What goes around, comes around. Those who treat people poorly will get theirs. Do you really want to get yours?
Ah, nothing like a stream of highly conductive liquid between your genitals and something containing thousands of volts...
This is not my sandwich.
Before I start, it's worth noting that it's probably better advice to "take the high road" and not let their actions effect your professionalism.
That being said, here is one time when I tried to break my own advice. Among the many problems that one company I worked for had was a "diversity program" that was nothing more than giving certain contracts or benifits to specific cultural/ethinic/social groups to the exclusion of anyone else. I decided that, when I left, I would have a little fun with that policy. I did the appropriate research and, when we had the meeting where I would announce my resignation to the team, I would instead announce that I had been accepted as a candidate for sexual reassignment surgery. Furthermore, in about two weeks, I would begin my 18 month "real life test" and would start coming to work in my female persona.
Sadly however, my supervisor stole my thunder by just blurting out that I was resigning. Coulda had a lot of fun with that.
On the plus side though, I did learn something new about "gender dysphoria" in the process of trying to learn enough to sound authentic at the meeting.
A goal is a dream with a deadline
Last bad job I voluntarily left, back in 1991, I gave 2 weeks notice, then counted down the seconds. I still get nightmares about the place, sometimes.
... after your new job doesn't work out, you can choose the big door labelled 'Applicants' or crawl through the little door lablled 'Supplicants'.
"nobody would be better for that job".
If instead of coming at them with "give me what I want or I'm out of here", you instead make the case that you are actually worth more on the open market, you won't necessarily be putting your employer in a box. He can, in fact, look at it one of three ways:
1) He could disagree, in which case you can turn that into an amicable parting of the ways. I.e. I've found an offer more suitable to my career growth and I've decided to take it. I left a job like this once. I was turned down for a promotion, but a former partner of thiers offered me a position in thier company similar to what I was trying to get promoted to.
2) He could agree, but decide that he doesn't require an employee of your skill level. In this case, it becomes clear to both of you that it's time for you to leave in order to grow in your career. When you do move on, both sides understand and agree as to why.
3) He could agree, at which point it is up to him to decide if he can pay you an appropriate "market value" or tell you that he can't afford it. If it's the former, you've made your case and there is no loss of respect, if it's the latter, both sides understand why it's time for you to move on.
A goal is a dream with a deadline
After I was (honorably) discharged from the Army, I was working for a computer dealer until I could get a better job. They kept promising me a promotion if I would just stay with them. I kept hearing "give us a couple more weeks". In addition, my supervisor would come in every day and complain about how her husband doesn't want to have sex with her, she would berate me because I was "religously undecided", the owners would insult me because I was 23 years old and had graduated college yet, the technicians didn't like me because I knew more than they did about fixing computers, etc. It paid the bills, but I could only take so much, and after about 10 months I decided that it was a waste of my time to even show up there, so I quit.
The day after I finally left, I called the software piracy hotline and told them about the following things that they flagrantly did:
1) Whenever someone ordered a piece of software through them, no matter what it was, they would break the shrinkwrap and make an ISO image of the disc(s) in the box. If someone asked what happened to the shrinkwrap, they would just say that they were testing it to make sure it worked. After all, any computer savvy person would order online or go to CompUSA.
2) They purchased a single user version of some server software, then the two owners (who had PhD's in computer science) unlocked it for unlimited users.
3) They owned one copy of Windows, M$ office, etc., but installed it on 20 or so computers. While this is common, it's still a flagrant violation of the license.
4) They ordered a trial version of a fax/pbx system (PCI expansion cards). After the trial period was up, they claimed the $10,000 worth of software and hardware had been hit by lightning, unlocked the trial period block, and ended up with a free fax and PBX system.
About a month after I left, they were raided by the police, the owners arrested, and all of their equipment was sold at auction for pennies on the dollar.
------
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Where I used to work a certain guy, who can of 'owned' the computer systems, gave everyone a hard time, but especially me.
The day I left I got his e-mail account, and 'he' sent email out saying what a great guy I was and he was sorry for ever treating me bad. It went on and on.
He is still mad from what I understand.
I doubt this is a true letter, but the friend I received it from swears it is true....
---
Following is a supposed letter of resignation from an employee at a computer company, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! It's Funny, but a bit harsh
Dear Mr. Smith,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
It's an interesting dilema because of the unfortunate double-standard that exists: companies certainly won't hesitate to immediatly show you the door without any notice if THEY want to get rid of you, but you are "expected" to give them up to two or more weeks when YOU want to leave. Obviously, this is not compulsary, but it's highly traditional.
It all really depends on your situation. The best bet is to not burn bridges because you never know when you may need the resources of the company or your colleagues in the future. Just come up with an equitable compromise.
Remember that YOU are in the driver's seat. YOU are the one making the decision, not them. And stand by your decision--if they offer you more money or a promotion, absolutely turn it down and take the new job. Are really suddenly worth more to them now? Is staying really in your best interest? If you stay, it shows that you are not willing to stand by your word.
Just don't be shocked if they ask you to leave immediatly.
My mom always said, "Jim, you're 1 in a million." Given the current population, there are 7000 of me. God help us all!
You can get on the all-call on the phone system and pipe in the country-western classic "Take This Job & Shove It". I had a job I hated badly and had a hotkey for playing that song to make it expedient to do it when I was ready.
In the end, I never did. Didn't want to burn any bridges. But it felt nice to have a fun plan ready for execution.
I had a pretty nice job with a large, large company, I totally loved it the first three years - was "Sr. Network Support Analyst" - was responsible for about 400-500 seats among 3 facilities, as well as several other responsibilities that spanned our division (PC Security, head of the y2k effort on intel platforms, I did the division intranet, a few other things too), handled two big wiring projects at two of our facilities.
We went through several mergers, where our division bought smaller (and one pretty big) company, and, well, merged them into our business. I went with the flow on all of them, even the second to last one where the company we bought was almost as big as our division up to that point. Those IT guys became my new bosses, and they were cool. everything went good for maybe another year. Previously, I had went through 95 to 98 conversions, then 98-w2k conversions a few years later. We even went from AS400-based systems to SAP, and everyone knows how much fun that is.
Let me mention that I was Golden Boy in this division, even after all the new mergers and conversions and y2k, etc. I took great (and I hope understated) pride in that my team met our objectives on time, and often on budget. I saved the company several thousands of dollars by moving most TCP/IP services over to Linux(like dhcp, dns, ftp, the intranet, etc). It worked so well, we used Linux as printservers for the SAP system when it went in. (The actual machines running SAP were in remote, hosted locations). So, in large part, I was the go-to guy in our division - and I loved it. Worked long hours maintaining cool equipment - it was great.
The unions up north went on strike, down here in the south, we had no unions. The higher ups decided to expand the biggest plant down here in the south, and tell the unions where to stick it. They did all of the planning in secret, and the morons DID NOT INCLUDE IT/PHONE CONSIDERATIONS IN THE PLANNING AT ALL! Being the IT guy, I knew this was coming, but the higher ups were unwilling to discuss it with me until it was going to be made public. I did not know how fast it would be, though. Construction started within a WEEK of the announcement. What's more, they did not consider any budget increase.
The division was not-so-well managed. I was the one who notified the head of our IT department - he either had no clue about it or he was lying. Given that the guy is pretty cool, and the division was pretty badly mismanaged, I honestly believe he did not know about it. From what I hear, it was a closely guarded secret to keep the union from finding out until the last possible second.
So, after the public announcement, you may well imagine I was jumping through hoops. Our data/phone center was a modular office type thing in the middle of a huge manufacturing plant, by design it was pretty much in the middle of the plant. They decided to move the data center into a corner, out of the way for a while. It was QUITE amusing to tell them I thought it would take anywhere from 500k to 1 mill to move it, and re-run all the cabling. I got the blank, puppy dog look when I told them that IT operations would be severely interrupted for the duration. The time frame they wanted this done in was, shall we say, unrealistic. It would have required several wiring companies 24-hour shifts, and even then I doubt it would have worked.
Then our division merged with another division in the same large corporation. This happened within weeks of the construction announcement, and the subsequent scramble to get a working plan. _That_ IT management team became everyone's new boss. So, _Their_ head IT guy came in, and "took over". This means that he made a bunch of unrealistic promises, and told everyone to come to me if they had problems.
So, at this point, I and my one assistant were trying to juggle our normal support duties, dealing with plans for the construction, trying to handle NEW responsibilities with all the mfg lines and eqpt and peopl
Styrofoam IS biodegradable, you're just impatient!
Also, I would strongly urge you not to quit "with style." What you call "with style" is really anything but. You should always try to maintain cordial and polite relationships with your former employer. Every job I've ever left, I've given a written letter of resignation, naming my last day (at least two weeks, sometimes more) and letting them know that I would be available free for "quick questions" on a short term basis to ease the transition. (I did not state, but implied, that if it was more than a "quick question" they should expect to pay me for my time.)
In 2000, this served me well. I had just left a large Internet Company, and discovered the company I went with was going out of business after only two months. I went back to work for the Internet Company, got a pay raise and full-time telecommuting. And that's the job I've held for the past 4 years through a crappy economy while all the other geeks were whining about outsourcing.
Bridges are good, a thing of utility and a thing of beauty. Never burn them unnecessarily.
"He who would learn astronomy, and other recondite arts, let him go elsewhere. " -- John Calvin, commenting on Genesis 1
OK, you got a lot of good advice about leaving your old job, basically, don't burn bridges.
Let me give you advice about your new job, which also applies to leaving your old one: don't be an asshole because your boss is an asshole. Do you want to be the whining negativist? DO you want to be a downtrodden sad sack? Show some spine! Be the kind of person you want to be, not the kind of person your boss forces you to be.
So, your boss wants you to do something stupid. Take him aside, and in a confidential and non-confrontational way, show him you have a better way. If he insists on going ahead, do the best you can. If it is as stupid as you think, he has nobody to blame but himself.
Suppose your boss wants to exploit you. Well, if you're smart, you've saved some money and aren't living paycheck to paycheck, so you can politely decline to be exploited. If you have money in the bank, and the paycheck they're giving you is just too good to walk away from, then it's just a tough deal, it's not exploitation.
Take it from an older guy who's lived a number of nasty job scenarios. 90% of happiness in life is the ability to live it on your own terms. You can't always dictate the situation you're in, or the people you have to work with. The only thing you have complete control over is your own behavior. If you act like an asshole, it may feel good for a moment, but in the end you feel like an asshole.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
I've pulled that one once and it worked quite well. I went to lunch after one of those lectures and that was the last they ever saw of me. Another good idea when you pull this stunt is to change your phone number to really screw with them.
At one place I worked, the policy was that if you were going to work for a competitor (defined pretty broadly), you were escorted out the door immediately and given a check for your notice. Of course, once layoffs started, word got around. People who found better jobs would give four weeks notice. Then refuse to say who their new employer was. Usually the people they lost this way were the ones they didn't want to lose - the screwups held on for dear life until RIF'd.
Envy my 5 digit Slashdot User ID!
Get a physician to sign off on a 1-2 month leave of absence, and then start your new job during the LOA. You'll get a smaller check than usual from your first job, plus a big ole check from your new job.
Then, after the course of the LOA is complete, call in sick for a few days. That usually cinches the deal, and they'll have to let you go.
Have fun! And no regrets!
Strong advise: DON'T burn bridges. Your ex boss may be a shit, but wat if your flameout burns your coworkers? They are the ones you will probably run into again.
I did mine the quick & dirty way:
- 1 line resignation letter "I am resigning effective XX/YY/ZZZZ. Sincerely, R2.0"
- gave back precisely what was called for in the manual - manuals, cell phone, etc.
- then I GUTTED my hard drive. I tried to erase not only every unauthorized program, but every reference to me anywhere on the drive. I tried to make it so that the prying eyes in IT not only wouldn't find anything against policy, they would find no evidence that I ever had the laptop in my posession. Then I ran Blowfish to scramble the empty space. A small victory, but I savored it.
- as my last act, I terminated myself. Policy cally for an e-mail to be sent to a special mailbox named "terminated" with the employees name, etc. That gets forwarded to HR, IT, Payroll, etc. I sent my own.
From: R2.0
To: Terminated
Subject: R2.0, terminated XX/YY/ZZZZ
I can at least hope this caused some brief confusion.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
Mod parent up!
Just take the other job, and see how long it takes them to notice that you are not showing up at the old one.
You may think now that you don't need the refferal, however if you find yourself like me and a nice job opens up as working for a company that has fed contracts, trust me they will talk to EVERY employer you have had in the last 10 years...... plus a lot of other stuff. Besides if you make a scene that may be all he needs to have you labled not rehireable, which is something all companies ask when doing background checks.
......(add ad-hoc derogatory stmts here)'
Be a bigger person than you ex-boss. Besides if he's like most a-hole managers just the fact that you got a better job and are bailing out on him will probably piss him off to no end. If you do cause a scene he can also say 'See I told you that person was
I know it's tempting, but bite your tounge and be professional.
So Long and Thanks for all the Fish.
How much fun would it really be to screw over your soon-to-be-ex-co-workers? Have a little self respect and just give them the two weeks notice and be done with it.
-Rich
Toss a quarter on his desk and proudly say "Get yourself a new boy".
Its kind of hard to burn bridges that were not built to start with.
Really, the best revenge is ignorance. Give him two weeks notice and thats it. Nothing more. Don't tell him why you are leaving or where you are going or anything. The only thing he needs to know is you are quitting and he has been given his legal two weeks notice. Not knowing anything will likely kill him. Unfortunately he will also pester your coworkers about it, but since they don't know anything either, it will continue to grind his goat.
This way if any future employers do talk to your current employer, they can only get your side of the discussion. Your current employer will have nothing to offer. Besides, legally they can't give out negative information, injuring your chances at a new job.
Ignorance can be blissfull or painful. Its how you use it.
"Your having a bad day when the voices in your head put you on hold"
Give your two weeks notice. Act nice to your co-workers. If your boss is a professional, he'll let you work out the two weeks, or name an earlier date. Get your documents in order. (Not for your boss, but the next sucker who gets the job. I've inherited projects from people who left, and this was always the most frustrating part.)
On the last day say goodbye, and steal as much as you can from the office supply cabinet.
Be prepared to be walked out immediately. Some bosses take it personally and fire employees on the spot if they decide to quit.
Remember, it's not personal, it's business. (Okay, it is personal, but keep it at a high level.)
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
Excellent advice. One quibble:
"...he'll use your childishness to justify his assholedness."
Assholedness? I think the proper term is "assholism". It's a disease, and the sooner you can force your boss to acknowledge his addiction to being an asshole (see parent post for tips), the sooner he can seek help.
YHBT. YHL. HAND. PS: don't take life so seriously :)
He's not going to *accept* the promption or raise anyway. Nor is he going to reveal that he already has another job lined up. Just rather than take the earlier criticism lying down, he's going to say (politely), "I'm not taking your damn complaintsl I want a *raise*."
They'll probably say no, and whatever they say it'll be "not enough". Goodbye, and I'll try my luck elsewhere... and look how fast someone else snapped me up.
It's just a 100% legal and "proper" way to emphasize "your loss". I'm not leaving with my tail between my legs; I'm leaving because you obviously don't appreciate me.
...you'll appreciate it later. Burning bridges in the sense you imply will make just you feel good temporarily at someone's expense. Life's too short to waste energy like that. Besides, weird things happen. Years down the line you might need something that person can offer, be it a recommendation, or an introduction to someone you want to meet and he just happens to work with them.
So go tell them you're leaving, show a list of tasks that won't be done before you quit and offer to document your work/train a replacement, etc. Odds are they won't care about any of this as they already know "short timer" mentality sets in when you're about to leave. More than likely you'll just have two weeks of showing up to work and getting paid to read magazines or look busy.
Bring an AR-15 and a couple of SIGs to work. Wear BDUs, and a BIG knife. Sit down at the desk and just do your job. Smile at the receptionist.
If anybody tries to stop you, just pull the bolt and frown at them.
-I like my women like I like my tea: green-
How you treat your old company reflects upon you as a person, not on what sort of company they are. Leaving is all you should do. Accept the job offer, submit a polite 2-weeks notice and make your transition out of the company as professional as possible. If they ask, don't give them details as to why you're leaving, just say your skills were badly desired by this other company and they made you a terrific offer you couldn't pass up. They'll get the message that perhaps they should have treated you better, and without the insult that can often lead to ugliness. If there is going to be ugliness, let it start with them, don't be the provocateur.
Remember, how YOU treat them is reflective of the sort of person YOU are. They can't change who you are for better or for worse.
Ask youself: what sort of person are you? Act according to your answer.
If your employees are looking for a way to screw you, that's most likely because you've been screwing them in the past. Then again, if you're so afraid of your employees, then maybe you're right in not hiring people who aren't willing to take your shit.
I had one boss who was a chronic drunk, racist asshole, and I tell you, every chance we got, all the workers would take a longer lunch break, slack off, whatever. Another job, for example, where I was treated with dignity and respect, even though the pay wasn't as good, I'd gladly work off the clock just to get something done that needed to get done.
But there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men.
This actually happened at a _very_ shitty company I worked at. They hired a whole bunch of people and set them to work poring over tons of one of their client's Cobol source. Everybody eagerly went to work, except one young fellow fresh from school with speech disabilities who somehow felt his talent was wasted on searching through cobol code for 6 character long numeric string fields.
I was working across the hall from these people on a slightly more mind-boggling and fascinating project and had struck up a cigarrette smoking relationship with our secretary. One day the young man I was talking about was told to see the boss. He got fired and then after leaving the boss's office immediately squatted down in the hallway and shat on the carpet. I didn't see it happen but his pile drew a crowd and the boss was enraged. The next day when I was out smoking with the secretary we talked about the kid shitting on the carpet. She told me the boss had made her clean it up. (!). A week or two after the little shithead sent us a huge apple pie as a going-away present. It sat there in the kitchen all week and went into the trash untouched on friday.
In case you're wondering, I got really upset with the company after they terminated the admittedly fun project our team worked on (we made it fun, the bosses did what they could to make it as non-fun as possible)and sent me across the hall to the Y2K-Gulag. After locating one Y2K-conversion candiate field of exactly 6 characters and numeric I spent an entire week there working on my personal projects. The next week the boss wanted to see me and told me he doesn't give a fuck about how mind-numbing and dumb the work is and I told him get me a real project. The next week I called in sick and after two wonderful weeks of extra vacation I got my notice. A month later, I went to work for a bank but that story is not juicy enough for slashdot.
Is not just for rating /. members. Take the high road. Be professional. As others have pointed out, your current boss may be your boss again in another place. However, if your karma is truly excellent, he may wind up working for you.
Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
Something very similar to this was debunked on mythbusters. The basic problem is that the stream splits into droplets with air gaps between, so no current flows and nothing happens. If you have a reference to a published account of this story, that would be interesting.
Try blowing the whistle on your boss! My former boss was pretty much an idiot so I contacted the appropriate agency (Health Canada) and informed them of his indescretions. I was fired of course.
A year later we are still fighting. Legal threats, vilification and the always fun 'disgruntled employee' were his weapons of choice.
The funny thing was that because I used Linux, for the server, and he didn't know how to operate it, he blamed me for it? He portrayed it a some sinister plot to control him.
Of course I put a website up detailing his behaviour http://www.snakeoil.ca/.
An exploration of mixology, spirits and bartending.
The general sentiment of how to leave a bad job seems either
- Immature revenge - i.e. random shitting
- Taking the high road and just getting out
Both of these have serious drawbacks. Plenty ofI knew a guy who was trying to get a loan repayed, but the loaneee wasn't returning his calls. So he stayed up for four hours, redialing, letting the answering machine pick up, leaving bad messages then calling back again. Annoying the one who screwed him became a method of revenge. I'm not sure how the individual responded, but I think it would have been a simple matter to leave the house for a while, and then just delete all my messages when I got home. What I do know is that my aquaintance was served up with $100 in long distance bills. It didn't get his money back, and wasted time and money. Petty == stupid.
Also, most people believe in a moral system that subscribes to a view that causing harm or grief to another not only harms them, but you as well. Some might scoff, but I'm throwing it out there anyway
But if being immature and cruel doesn't really work, I don't think "taking the high road" works better either. Why? Because it's dishonest. If you're leaving because it's a bad job you should try to express the fact that you think it's a bad job to someone who might be able to do something about it.
Sometimes that's just not possible though. My last job had fantastic coworkers but utterly abyssmal management. Every time I tried to talk to anyone in authority about improving morale or other issues that would make happier or more productive workers they would take it as a personal attack. Finally it became so frustrating that I was close to throttling my boss during a meeting in which she intimated that (despite the fact that some in my department had been there close to a decade) we weren't that important. I apologized for losing my temper, but this was the last straw. Working for management I didn't respect was turning me into something I didn't respect, so I left...after briefly considing accusing my boss of sexual harassment (wail! she said I was pretty and *sob* that she could do so much for my carrer). But you know...slander can get you in trouble. Se how nasty I was becoming?
I suppose what I would say is try to communicate your feelings as best you can to improve the envorinment for those who come after, but do what you can to make your life good.
Do it with class and style. Go in and give your two weeks with a very respectful letter. But let someone else (a work buddy) know you are doing it before hand and also give them the resignation letter and file if possible.
If management likes they way you are quiting you just made a good name for yourself. If they throw you out on your ass it will get around that you tried to resign respectfully because others will know your intentions via your letter given to a friend.
Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds. - Albert Einstein
I read your lameass post on slashdot.
Don't bother coming in at all. You're fired!
======================
Seriously, care to follow up on what, if anything, went down?
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
I hated my last job. The bosses were always jerks to everyone, they engaged in shady business practices and I never saw a raise even though I busted my butt to keep the place afloat when we were understaffed and turning over employees like flapjacks. I left on pretty amicable terms...
That is, right up until I went down to the US Bankruptcy courts and the IRS to report that the owner was skimming cash to avoid paying back his creditors. And also dropped a few notes to the FBI about their sex tourism business bussing guys down to Mexico and finding them hookers. And dropping a few lines to the FTC about unsolicited junk faxing. And letting their largest clients know just how much mark-up they were paying. And...
They probably don't know it was me, as they left a long string of disgruntled employees. Whenever I think about it, I just smile smugly, wondering how much jail time they'll end up with.
There is a difference between "insightful" and "inciteful" other than spelling.
My own experience was during a meeting, the VP comes in and describes the dire circumstances the company is in. I.e., Customers are leaving in droves, the software is still months from releasability, there are the following design issues we're facing. Then the VP says that all employees must work 60 hour weeks and a minimum of Saturdays if they're to be seen as team players.
At that point, I pull a report out of my briefcase that I had submitted two years before. It states how all these problems would occur if nothing was done to mitgate a detailed set of risks. It was received about as well as the Greek Casanda spouting prophecy. I then say, "Looks like we're right on target--read my report of 2 years ago, again. Poor planning on management's part is not an emergency on my part. By the way, here's my resignation." I get up an leave the room to stunned silence of the 20+ developers assembled and walk off to a job with a 15% pay raise.
I was working in New York as a consultant. The people I was working for didn't want the position I was in to exist. (politics that ran deep long before I got there). I was put in a corner and forgotten about. The people who cut the check were in California, and I had only seen my real boss in a year. I sent out an e-mail that I was going on vacation. I went on vacation, then found another job. I got paychecks for 4 months after leaving before anyone noticed I was gone. Then they couldn't tell how long I was gone (since noone noticed) and asked for 2 months of pay back. Works for me.
Working in a littler local ER, part time. Last shift before I resigned. Little tralier trash girl, with a slight cold, going on and on about how I suck , the hospital sucks, how long will it take to see her, etc. I make her wait 4 hours, skipping her chart time after time. 11PM comes and she is only only chart left.
Her : "Now you HAVE to take ME".
Me : I'm sorry this side closed, you'll have to wait on the other side for the nurse to call you"
After a string of curses from her, I told her "If you weren't such a low life POS, with a mouth like a sewer, I would of taken you along time ago. Now go back home and watch Jerry Spinger ! "
She threatens to report me, the whole ER staff is rolling when I yell "I just QUIT you retard," Anyone who has ever worked EMS/ER will appreciate the humor in this, and the feelings of satifaction.
Save a Life. Donate Blood. Please.
The best revenge you can get is to make them regret and change their ways.
And the best way to do that is to help as many other people as possible to leave, preferably the most valuable employees.
BEFORE YOU GIVE NOTICE, make sure you have emails/phones for all those people:
one reason bosses rush you out the door after quitting, is so you won't "hurt morale" (meaning, telling other people how much better your new job is).
After you leave, do all you can to let all those people know how GREAT your new job is (without EXPLICITLY slamming your old job).
And (anonymously) send them promising-looking job notices and head-hunters' phones.
This way, you get the referenced sweetest revenge, and get to punish the old boss, and simultaneously do good for others who are still stuck there.
My Dad worked about 20 years ago for Monaco (the RV company) building cabinets and such. Each person had their own set of masters [*], and my Dad (being an actual carpenter) had made his own, which worked much better than everyone elses, and everyone else wanted to get ahold of them. I was really young, but according to my Mom he *really* hated the job (and the people there), and when he found a new job, he started to carefully build a new set that looked right, but when you tried to put everything together at the end, it just wouldn't quite fit together. The last day of work, he chopped up his real ones and tossed them into a scrap pile while no one was looking, left the fake ones in plain sight, then went into his bosses office and told him to shove it.
[*]: I can't remember the actual term, cause I don't know a thing about carpentry. Basically, with these widgets you could easily cut the finished cabinent out of your starting pieces.
Must be considering bankruptcy protection at this very minute....
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
My last job went downhill fast. I had a cool boss who left and was replaced by an uptight, by-the-book douche who did not know how to handle the officious, micro-managing cunt who had the ear of the bigwigs in the corporate HQ in NYC and was constantly on my ass about one thing or another.
That was in August of the year this all went down. I stuck it out for a while, but when my new boss didn't loosen up I decided it was time to move on. Though I hated the management in the company, I liked most of my endusers and didn't want to leave them unsupported-- so I decided to be nice and gave a month's notice just before leaving for my two-week Christmas vacation. I worked the first two weeks of January before leaving. They screwed us out of bonuses that year, so I decided I'd make my own bonus-- on the last weekend before my final week, I came into the office and spent eight hours copying all the software I wanted from The Big Cabinet O' Software.
On my last Friday, I went out with all my friends and got ridiculously hammered. I slept in my soon-to-be-former office that night, and vomited a few times in my recyclables bin. Just before leaving, I emptied and rinsed it out in the men's room. When I noticed it still smelled pukey afterward, I switched it for the one in the office of the enduser I hated most, a pompous dickhead who was always ignoring IT policies and fucking up his machine. The can spent Saturday and Sunday baking in the sun that streamed into the windows of his south-facing office, so I'm sure it was nice and fragrant when he came in that Monday.
Finally, two weeks into my new job I received an extra paycheck from the old company. Since it was direct-deposited, I didn't have to worry about the legalities of cashing a check that wasn't really mine. I called the very nice payroll lady who was one of my endusers and told her of the mistake, and she said she'd take care of it. The money never disappeared from the account and I never heard anything about it again except a nice letter from some suit in upper management, thanking me for my honesty in returning the money. A few months later, that money turned out to be just enough to buy me an iBook.
Take an empty screw-top jar, fill with chicken (I hear boneless, skin on works best) and top off with milk. Cap jar and hide in a warmish place. In 3 to 4 weeks, the jar will burst from some sort of horrifying chemical/organic/death reaction and it will smell like someone died.
No s**t it works, and it's relatively untraceable
Now lets get on with funny ways people have, or have wanted to leave their jobs. Something interesting to read instead of 500 obvious "Do the right thing" posts.
I'm Rick James with mod points biatch!
When i was working in a small sized pc shop, my boss (and his wife) tried to make my life a living hell. I told him one day "i get so SICK of you!", and called in sick the next day. Then, since i knew my boss would send some kind of inspection (legal) to check up on me, i made an appointment with the doctor, told him i didn't sleep at all during the night and asked for a prescription for sleeping pills. Every day i took one out of the box, flushed it down the toilet and when the inspection came i showed him it. The most perfect way of being sick at home is 'stress'. Nobody can prove that (at least, not easily - and no company is going to hire a shrink to prove otherwise) so you can sit out your time at home. If you can convince your doctor to write a note, saying you have to leave the house for fresh air every now and then it's even more perfect.
all I ever wanted was to be understood :)
-- 'The' Lord and Master Bitman On High, Master Of All
Sorry but as someone getting ready to go to school for 2 years to get a masters in library science, with hopes of college library employment,
may I ask what happened? Thanks... mods please don't kill me!
Spoon not. Fork, or fork not. There is no spoon.
This reminds me of a piece of literature i picked up back in high school chem lab... Is your boss named Johny? does he like water? this is perfect:
Johny had a stomachache
He hasn't anymore
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
We really need a -1, Doesn't Know Ass from Hole In Ground moderation option...
AKA... Shouldn't play golf.
Heisenberg may have been here.
Euphemism is to make it pretty dysphemism is to make it dirty:
Burn the bridges.
Shoot the horses
Roast horses with BBQ sause over burning bridges.
Eat horses.
especially because I got a (completely unwarranted) PHB-style threatening lecture last week about my work habits
If your supervisor is terrorizing you, WTF are you working there for, and have you never been trained on the correct use of a baseball bat? Please remember that I'm not advocating homicide, but 30 or 40 fractures should readjust even the surliest PHB. Rinse and repeat as necessary.
OR, more sensibly, you could simply refuse to work for terrorists. I like this choice best, and have had nothing but terrific management for the past 30+ years because I refuse to work shit jobs for shit employers. If you think of your supervisor as a PHB, and don't love the work, you've already made a huge mistake that burning bridges won't fix. It's your error, own up to it by leaving with grace and dignity, and learn not to repeat it.
I never understood why people feel the need to get "revenge" on a company that hired them and kept them employed, even if you didn't care of the work. "Thanks for giving me a continuous source of income. Now I plan to stick it to do." You'd expect that crap from the punk at McDonald's, not an educated professional.
Anonymous Cowards suck.
I had an instructor who was so hopeless it was beyond words. Lucky for the students, he did something amazingly stupid and actually GAVE IT TO US. Click on the link in my sig to watch it!
Oh, and click here for those of you that disable sigs.
I worked for a large internet company at one point, as a senior person in their NOC. I had a manager that was so completely technically inept that the only way she could manage us was on numbers. Needless to say, it was micromanagement at it's worst. Well, when I got to the point where I couldn't take anymore, I walked over to her desk and put a 5# bag of flour down and smiled. She asked me what it was for. With all of my coworkers looking on in astonishment, I told her very calmly and politely "So you can go f*ck yourself, you fat bitch" then I turned and walked out. I know the crack is older than time itself, but it SURE felt good seeing her cry, knowing that I'd stayed awake at night for indeterminable stretches, stressed out from the way she ran (or didn't) run things. I felt bad about it afterwards, but 4 years later I still run into people I worked with that will bring it up and just can't stop laughing. And yes, I hope I never have to interview with for a job under her again.
The country music station KNIX in Pheonix Az has a shuv it line where you can call in and tell your boss to take his job and shuv it on the air. At the end they play Jonnie Paycheck's 'Take This Job and Shuv It.' This is or was generally done on Friday afternoon. M
If they try to not pay you for your accrued vacation, tell them you are going to call wage-and-hour. Wage-and-hour (dept of labor) can come in and audit their whole payroll.
Truth of the matter is: If you're in the third world and you're not rich enough to afford really good water (and know about the evils of formula), you're probably going to be better off finding a friend you can pay to breast feed your kid. Chances are it'll be both cheaper and healthier.
It's one thing to sell baby formula to people who need it. It's another thing entirely to market it to people who'se kids are probably going to get sick from eating the stuff. (while telling them precisely the opposite)
Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
I'm getting ready to leave my co. too, in a couple months.
:-(
The problem is I actually *like* my boss. He and I are on good terms and he's a good guy. The problem is he's hamstrung by our corporation, which is the most heartless collection of sons-of-bitches in the world. There's nothing he can do about it--our dept. budget is capped, our stock is worthless, our top brass has the collective IQ of a glass of milk, and our dept.'s "turf" is getting old and boring.
Time for me to move on but I guess there's nothing I can do to fuck my company over without also fucking over my boss.
-----------------------
To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
Dude....bad karma will catch up to ya. No matter how much you think it will not. If you do things "the fun way" I gaurantee you that somehow...someway it will come back to bite you in the ass.
I've seen it....it happens
...will only get you onto the raised floor naked once. Save it for the last day.
Beware: I believe all are created equal, and have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Make sure you tell everyone else first. If you tell your boss first, he will ask you to leave 'now' and tell your co-workers he asked you to leave due to your being a dificult person. Do you want everyone getting your story or his?
The government which is strong enough to protect you from everything is strong enough to take everything from you.
But when I told him I'd received another job offer, I gave him a chance to talk me out of it. (He didn't even try.) I said I'd stick around for the full two weeks. I cleaned my office. I wrote up notes for my co-workers. I told the ones I liked that I'd miss them. And on my last day, I was the last person to leave the building, and conscientiously set the alarm on my way out. (Which may give you a sense of just how badly they missed the point with security.) If I ever need to use this guy as a reference, he won't have anything he can say against me (at least not without risking litigation).
Oh, and did I mention that I explained to the HR folks in my exit interview all the reasons I was so glad to be out of this guy's department, and that I was taking a pay cut and reduced benefits just to do so?
Even so, I felt good knowing that I hadn't caused any pain to the innocent ones I was leaving behind. And maybe my comments to HR won't do any good, but at least I went on the record.
office space is a great film on this subject. ... I like the bit where they abduct the the office printer and "execute" it in a field.
or the guy who ends up burning the office down.
Stars Jennifer Aniston and Ron Livingston.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/
This takes more than 2 weeks to pull off, but...
Sign up for all kinds of future work/deliverables. Promise your boss you can get all kinds of things completed. Commit to doing lots of things for cross functional groups etc. All these things make your boss look good for how much his team can accomplish as well letting the other teams know how productive you are.
Then quit before the schedule & milestones come due. Your boss will be left holding the bag trying to get them completed on time.
Living well is the best revenge...
Everyone's first goal is to survive. Otherwise you are shooting yourself in the foot. And this way you still might be able to use your former boss as a reference before he gets hauled off. Plus it's ballsy because you never know if they are gonna try to pin it all on you or take you down with them.
Your CPU is not doing anything else, at least do something.
In a former life:
I worked at one job for a technical temp company that the recruiter had sold as a LAN Administrator position. It turned out to be the most dull desktop support position ever (there was nothing to do and I was alone all day). I found out from the employees at the job that I was the latest in a long string of temps that had quit. The recruiter wouldn't return my calls so I looked until I found a better job (that payed better) and when they asked when I could start I said "tomorrow". I just didn't show up at my old job.
I called the old temp company about a week later (after I received my paycheck) and told the receptionist that I had to speak to the recruiter: "It's an emergency!".
He picked up his phone: "How are things going out there? Is everything alright?"
"Oh, everything is fine, but I haven't worked there for over a week." I said.
"You, you, you are in a lot of trouble!" he stammerred.
"I doubt it. I've been working at a better job that pays better. I just called to let you know."
Very satisfying, as I knew that this recruiter worked on commission and would be out some money. Very juvenille, as well. If I had it to do over again, I'd give one week's notice and tell the recruiter and the client company why I was leaving.
Quitting games are for scared little children.
cuz that asshole Lumburg stole your stapler.
You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
Huh? The question isn't about salesman or goods or hiring, the guy is asking whether he should pull some stunt when he quits his job. Whatever you want to call normal civil behavior in the workplace (I call it being professional), burning bridges isn't a good idea, if you like to remain employeed.
Of course ignore this advice and act however you want at work, burn bridges until your hearts content. This is a free country after all.
Yea, i agree, Dont Burn bridges.... But wouldent it be fun, to walk into your bosses office, stand up on his desk, Drop your pants and squat... then Pinching off a nice big corn, and peanut filled Biscuit right in his pencil drawer... and then Demand a raise... LMAO! think I need to see my shrink again...
Sometimes taking a 2week long "vacation" just doesn't cut it. A year or so ago I was working at a warehouse, driving around shelves, pickung up various foodstuff. The company had a policy on performance. Less than 90% for 2 weeks and you were fired. And about 0.15USD extra per percentage over 100. Within three weeks I was at 140% percent. My boss was thrilled. I less so. The job got on my nerves after 2 months, so I stayed home for 2 weeks, not answering the phone when my boss called. Finally I answered, and he was willing to give me another chance. I was no happy camper any more. "Damn!", I thought to myself, "Why doesn't he take the hint and just fire me? Oh well, I need the money". After two weeks back at work I took another two week long "vacation". This time he got the hint. But I managed to put out the bridge that was ablaze with flames by telling him I was suffering from depression. Which seemed convincing because it was almost true (had an amphetamine habit at the time, which on occasion had me driving around struggling not to crack up and start crying for no reason at all. Of course, the only reason for my superhuman performance was said habit as well). A few weeks ago I met an old acquaintance who had begun working at the same company a month or so ago. Apparently they still remembered me, and told stories about me: "Neurofluoro did it with style, one day he parked his truck in a corner and just left".
Not true.
cheap labor conservatives - they want to keep you hungry enough to be thankful for minimum wage.
I have been mad and fired from many employers and understand the need to get angry.
But leaving a job this way certainly is not good and makes you look worse than your boss you dont like.
Why did your boss complain of your work style and you? Not pointing fingers here per say, but if he dislikes you and not your fellow employee's then the problem is not your boss but perhaps yourself.
A new job wont fix that either.
Sure personality conflicts happen all the time but the mature adult way is to find away around them. If its a boss then just leaving would be the proper way. If he is an asshole, HR will notice the turnover and fire him.
http://saveie6.com/
What? You brought down all that heat on them and didn't call the SPA?
I guess I'll have to bow to your wisdom there. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy.
There is this newfangled thing called "taking the high road". Politely tell your boss that you are leaving in two weeks, if he tells you to hit the bricks, that's his problem. Do not retaliate, as justified as you may feel. Your fellow employees do not deserve it, as much as the PHBs may. If you have an exit interview, tell the interviewers why you are leaving.
I hate sigs.
If you managed to survive your dressing-down (what is "PHB-style", anyway) without saying anything to get yourself fired, count yourself lucky and file a simple, polite resignation, then go out gracefully. You never know when you might need a reference of some kind, or who you might meet in the future. I work in the Washington, DC area, which has, what, 3-5 million people? And yet I keep meeting people who know other people I know, who may use the opinion of the common acquaintance to judge how to deal with me. Corporations may not give references, but people who work for them do, both formally and informally. Unless you are prepared to leave your employer off your resume and have an inexplicable gap in your work history, you're better off going quietly, without a show. What you don't say will speak volumes.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
n/t
A couple of days before your last day, start taking things out of people lunches. Start with small things like pudding cups, and work your way up to the entire lunch. On the last day, come in a litlle early, and bring in a case of beer. Empty, or consume, several cans. Place the empty cans into your least favorite coworker's garbage can. Depending on the size of you company, the email threads that begin will be hysterical. Be sure to save them!
Then, it's simply a matter of putting it somewhere concealed but hearable (for me, being the only guy over 6 feet in the office, it was on top of the kitchenette cabinettes, but somewhere in the return air plenum should work fine) and then dance out of the office, singing along. :) I could still hear the song after I made it to the parking lot.
I like to place meaningful quotes in my sig, so people will know that I know what meaningful quotes are.
Insert obligatory statement on karma here
A woman I know was "downsized" by a large newspaper corporation some years back after she got pregnant. Out of five groups, her group was the second in performance, so there was no justification other than that of her pregnancy.
Her boss called her into his office and told her, after she took several hours off for a doctor's visit to get an amniocentisis, that "she had better get her priorities straight, and that when she decided her priorities, the manager would decide how valuable she was to the company."
This matter is in litigation presently, with the United States EEOC well involved. The thing that is funny is that the company who let her go had an opportunity to offer some half a million in order to get her to drop her (very good and well-documented) case. Presently, the EEOC is suing the company for "an injunction requiring the [company] to abstain from discrimination. It also seeks back pay with interest and other 'affirmative relief ... including but not limited to reinstatement,' punitive damages and reimbursement of the commission's legal expenses." Since the EEOC is a federal commission, they have unlimited means to sue the company. Half a million will look very cheap when all of this is sorted out.
Since she was let go in early 2001, they're looking at back pay that will total nearly half a million without any further damages, which will be considerable.
My best advice, if you work for a company that commits "bad behaviors," keep a complete record of everything. It's a better bet than winning a lottery.
In her case she did not burn any bridges. That would have been held against her in her case against the company.
Gods don't kill people, people with gods kill people.
kick the boss in the nuts! That will do it.
As much as it could be fun to leave some people who screwed you in a self-satisfying way, the import word here is : PROFESSIONAL.
There are 2 reasons why you should leave in a professional manner. The first one is that we live in a small world. You never know if you won't be required to work with those people in the future. The second reason is that your new company might have a very bad opinion of you as a human being if you leave your previous one with some conflicts. In my company, we have a policy. We ask people during the interview what they think about their previous (or current) company. If they begin to say bad things about them, meaning emotional criticisms ( "they are assholes", "they were soooo unfair to me"), well chances are that the candidate is not going to get the job. If you screw your previous company, chances are that you are going to screw your new one too.
Interacting with people in a professional environment requires diplomatic skills that you can neglect in other contexts.
Things got progressively worse for everyone in the company, we lost 20% of the technical staff becuase everyone was leaving as soon as possible to avoid working with this guy. Everyone left professionally, and AFAIK said nothing about the fact they were leaving becuase of this person. The CEO and CFO were completely ignorant to the fact the CTO was a complete waste of space.
When I found a new, much better, job, I gave my 2 weeks notice and didn't mention to the CTO (my boss) that he was the main reason I was leaving. I did, however, have a meeting with the CEO and the CFO and explain that my treatment at his hand was 50% of the reason I was leaving, and his negative impact on the company was the other 50%. I told them both very clearly that he was bad for the company, and there would be more people leaving, and that the other people had left for the same reason I was leaving. The CEO, who was delusional about the CTO, assured me everyone else had left for other reasons, and that the CTO was a valued member who had contributed lots to the company.
I told him thanks for employing me, and good luck with the success of the company, and I hope they do well.
Since I left the CTO has been stripped of most of his power, and most technical people have been given raises. I feel good that my professional, polite, talks with the CEO and CFO were part of the reason my co-workers recieved better treatment.
So, if you're leaving a bad situation, make sure you tell the highest ranking people you can, in completely honest, open, and certian terms, exactly what your grievances are. Not for you, but for your co-workers.
It's important to note that most of these people involved were honest, decent people, who genuinely were unaware of the problems with the CTO
My Linux Command of the Day site : LCOD
If your employer fired you, would they be polite about it? Give you two weeks pay? Wait for you to finish paying off your car? Wait until you found a new job? Still provide nice references? If they wouldn't do this for you, why on earth would you do this when you fired them?
Maybe you see the value in being the better party? I can respect that, but it's not a game that I can play. I consider myself extremely patient, tolerant, forgiving, and easy going. If someone has put me at the end of my rope, then they must be particularly deserving.
Don't turn down a chance to put an asshole in their place. It's a pleasure of life that is unique unto its own.
A new Mythbusters was on last night and they revisted the urban legend about being electrocuted while urinating. This time one of them stood right up against the fence and did indeed get zapped, so they backpedalled on their previous "myth busted" statement.
Basically, if you are a couple feet or more away, e.g. 3rd rail, off a bridge, no problem the stream will turn to droplets. But if you stand right up against a waist-level source like an electric fence, you will indeed get zapped.