Slashdot Mirror
Wired's Very Short Stories
Wired's games blog Game|Life alerted me to a great feature on the main Wired site. Called Very Short Stories, the piece features the work of 33 well-known writers practicing their craft in six word chunks. Their work is combined with several talented graphic designers to generate some very creative works of art. Some of my favorites: "The baby's blood type? Human, mostly'. - Orson Scott Card
'Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.' - Richard Powers
'Kirby had never eaten toes before.' - Kevin Smith" The games blog makes a point to highlight the works of game writers Mark Laidlaw and Steve Meretzky. Laidlaw's contribution: ">Help! Trapped in a text adventure!" Alrighty, folks ... let's hear yours.
'Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.' - Richard Powers
'Kirby had never eaten toes before.' - Kevin Smith" The games blog makes a point to highlight the works of game writers Mark Laidlaw and Steve Meretzky. Laidlaw's contribution: ">Help! Trapped in a text adventure!" Alrighty, folks ... let's hear yours.
Not much to read, is there?
In Russia, short stories write you!
Slashdot news for nerds, doesn't matter
meh
This will be awful.
We try, yet fail, to win.
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
Installed Vista, worked fine.
Wife bought a Mac,
Now Vista sucks,
But Slashdot will love me.
Six work posts: here they come!
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
Poo flung about in every direction.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. --Winston Churchill
Bruce Willis is dead.
He was born, lived and died.
Read this thread, should study instead.
I think you can all think of TMI situations where my story beats all others.
Meh, who am I kidding?
I hope slashdot has got heaping big bags of money. Because you just copied the entire content of four copyrighted works onto the front page of a commercial, for profit website - ain't no way you can hide behind the fair use defense on this one.
At $250,000 per violation, that will be One MILLION DOLLARS!
I'll be happy to accept the fine as proxy for Wired. Just to make things go smoothly, you understand, right?
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
Natalie Portman? In hot grits... please.
Web2.0: I love when people Flickr my cuil and digg my boingboing until my google is reddit and I start to yahoo
whoosh!
Brought my gun. Lock and load!
My patience is infinite, my time is not.
Six words to show skill? Please.
I have freaks! I did something right...
Earth invaded, saved; heroine gets laid.
Unfortunately counting is difficult for some people.
Error 001
Security Scan and Virus Detection do not work with your operating system.
Big bang, little strings, forty two.
... how Alan Moore and Darren Aronofsky/Ari Handel almost came up with exactly the same six word story!
Loved Joss Whedon's and Margaret Atwood's.
a world in progress...
Writing contest: Beowulf defeats million simians.
Here's my first offering:
The cow spoke.
I went vegetarian. {Prof. Jonathan}
Six words is not enough space.
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
Mario loved Peach, but fancied Luigi.
Me. Them. You. Us. Fight. Me.
posters lament "too long, didn't read!".
Move along, nothing to see here.
Anonymous coward's comments are rarely worthwhile.
The fat penguins ate them all.
ACK
This post is just 6 words long.
Comment forecast: Bits of genius surrounded by a sea of mediocrity.
"Red pill or blue? Why compromise?"
Why not? Because. Because why? Ummmm.....
Fridge game: words made; sadness avoided.
This is utterly pointless, worthless drivel.
GNAA troll posts; moderated down; victory!
make && make install; make clean
why am i still up; insomnia?
Nanobots heal instantly. Why cut myself? My finger's new USB port itches. Life went on... just not his. "I'm leaving you," said the toaster. Thirty cameraphones left no doubt. Touchdown! Why fight? We love Big Brother.
Must enter obligatory body text. Phooey!
If you post it, they will read.
You just know someone's... oh wait.
Hunting for sport. No, wait. Hunt-ED!
His fingernails gone...secret's still intact.
Great way to spend an evening!
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Haikus are too long. I'm happy.
Ryan Fenton
drank it all.
Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
Press that button. ...
Not that one!!
Lego Star Wars increases divorce filings.
Dead Rising; graves must be boring.
Master Chief wears thong under armor.
Political correctness is the newest form of slavery.
No 1st post in 6 words?
She: Hey, are you a traitor? Me: No, I'm atheist.
Writer's Block. Shit! Can't do this.
gus
.. if only.
Anonymous TrollMod Coward, strawmen don't compute.
--
make install -not war
She was dead; it mattered not.
No Shit! No dupe on slashdot!
FLR
"Chariots of the Gods", you philistine.
I stole this sig from someone cleverer than me.
How many words have I left?
CC Licensed Serialized Story and Podcast: Ingenioustries
I wonder what power he got?
(This is in the games section, after all, so I hope everyone knows who Kirby is.)
You are in a maze of twisty little relative jumps, all alike.
Below is a fairly famous short short story I heard a few times. It gives me chills every time I think about it...
"In the room was the last person on Earth. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door."
Happy people make bad consumers.
The spaceship was buried in Iraq.
Slashdot editors think this is news?
The universe explodes, and I'm here!
Life is not for the lazy.
I had this bright idea to compose a six-word reply. Then I realised that wasn't witty. It was derivative. Or something. I mean, I only realised once I'd logged on and noticed everyone else doing it. Please stop. Please stop now. Really. I'm weeping because I want you to stop. And stabbing my legs with pencils. Please stop it.
Onyxia was in Irvine, and pissed.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
I, for one, welcome our ... damn.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
Fyodor adjudged Leo's prose stilted, prosaic.
Windows computer broken Drive over it
I didn't RTFA.
Reading code is like reading the dictionary - you have to read half of it before you can go back and understand it.
Fun? You must be new here.
"Sun went down. Never came up."
"Computer talks. I don't. Everyone happier."
"Something's moving in the file cabinet."
"Christmas comes just twice a year."
"I loved her. She punished me."
I always pick the CowboyNeal option.
Reading code is like reading the dictionary - you have to read half of it before you can go back and understand it.
"Slashdot needs 'jailbait' mod, thought Lolita"
) [20]&48){D=89;_=unqb24,qT,@b=map{ordqB8,unqb8,qT,_ ^$a[--D]}@INC;s/...$/1$&/;Q=unqV,qb25,_;H=73;O=$b[ 4]>8^(P=(E=255)&(Q>>12^Q>>4^Q/8^Q))>8^(E&(F=(S=O>> 14&7^O)^S*8^S>=8)+=P+(~F&E))for@a[128..$#a]}print+ qT,@a}';s/[D-HO-U_]/\$$&/g;s/q/pack+/g;eval
:)
"Do I look fat? Answer: 42"
"Poor little pet goat, thought Bush"
"Constitution Amended, Schwarzenegger becomes American Emperor"
"Annonymous Coward saves world with troll"
"'Who's tickled now, bitch?!' Yelled Elmo"
"Headline: Bored Santa impregnates bad girls"
"Computer untrustworthy: 'Designed for Windows XP'"
"SPAM problem solved by killer robots"
"#!/usr/bin/perl
s''$/=\2048;while(){G=29;R=142;if((@a=unqT="C*",_
deCSS in six words" (Code by Keith Winstein and Marc Horowitz)
I bet you could make an entire AI in Perl fit six words
Woman, without her, man is nothing.
Why ask authors? Just ask slashdot.
If 76 Trombones really led the big parade, why did they have anyone else in it?
New website. Open for business. Slashdotted.
Cool new screensaver. New windows zombie.
Admin quit. What are the passwords?
Read boss' email, discovered his fetish.
Bored. Read Wired. Exciting! Killed myself.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
Six word story can't be done.
Moderated slashdot story contest? Karma whores!
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
In Soviet Russa, Haikus write you.
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
"That is a 50 DKP MINUS!" - Dives
Seven words long? Delete one. --Editor
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
Post comment; Denied SubnetID; Use Proxy.
It all started with a corpse.
:)
The sound waves still permeate us.
Sweat-stung eyes envision green landscapes.
The hair samples were conclusive: Sasquatch.
Unfortunately, the meds had undesirable side-effects. (is the hyphenated word cheating?)
It wasn't a gateway to Andromeda.
(this one should ring a bell, though not my line, obviously!)
My God... it's full of stars.
She took my ring, said yes.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
Minimalist storytelling has been going on in haiku all along. While haiku is often 5-7-5 syllables, writers frequently strive to write them in fewer syllables, and 6 words is not uncommon. In the scifi/fantasy realm, scifaiku have also been around a while, i.e. http://www.scifaiku.com/. A couple of mine:
Detached, a scientist examines zombie limbs.
Hover-kayak: dragonflies in the slipstream.
A man, a plan, bloody palindromes.
Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
6 words
----
"Those who quote others are more likely to one day be quoted" -Tom Planter
Once upon a time, the end.
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
Borg versus goatse, hivemind dies horribly.
Mod Funny to avoid poo attack
laws were made to be broken
I welcome our masterfully succinct authors!
Infoport (also found elsewhere under aliases)
Surfed Slashdot. There were only dupes.
Swords danced until his heart pierced.
Boats traversed seas, riding windy waves.
Fighting the dragon he once befriended.
Erie light enchanted children in graveyards.
Alright, you have enraged the gazebo!
"22 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?" Stephen Colbert
Her panties exploded. A long story.
Did many drugs. Well, not really.
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
Oracle support Linux? Embrace, extend, extinguish...
I woke up next to it.
"The deep-fried Mars bar is a symptom of a wider crisis." -- Nutritionist Ann Ralph, on the Scottish diet
All your base belongs to us.
Lost: Will to live. Send happiness.
Lost: Will to live. Send money.
Lost: Will to live. Send gun.
This story is six words long.
you are your own biological father
Cory Doctorow foaming. Digital. Rights. Management.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
Something I've heard attributed to Hemingway as the world's shortest novel.
"For sale: baby's shoes, never worn."
Links abound for it on Google.
Eric
Would be the story of the orginal site's author right now...
GrpA
Enjoy science fiction? "Turing Evolved" - AI, Mecha, Androids and rail-gun battles. What more could you want?
Honey, I shrunk the kids!
Which is accurate as the script, too. Kind of like "Snakes on a plane".
"No problem. I have the capacity to do infinite work so long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero."-Dilbert
God: "Let there be light. Again."
... after dying.
The unicorns saw Noah's ark depart.
PATRIOT Act: Act patriotically. Or else.
Time is like a river. Drown.
He remembered his birth
a world in progress...
Drank some beer. That never happened.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
She was chunkier on the inside.
My body screamed "yes, YES" but the nymphs locked in my closet screamed "NOOOOOOOO"!
Ursula Le Guin? yep. Rowling? nope.
SPF support for most open source mail servers can be found at libspf2.
Big bang. Life. Death. Big squash.
Hobby Robotics
get an axe.
nothing!
News for nerds. Stuff that matters.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
Pacifist dragon slain by bloodthirsty villagers.
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
This Story is pointless. I'm Leaving.
In other words from south park:
Screw you hippies, I'm going home. - Eric Cartman
All misspellings and grammatical errors in the above post are intentional and part of my artistic expression.
Hemingway's story actually tells an evocative story (if you stop and think for a moment.) It's hard to do with six words. I won't complain about this though; it's pretty cool, and gives me a deeper appreciation for Hemingway. I'll also point out that people who blow their heads off with shotguns tend to have mastered the whole "concise, yet evocative" thing.
Slashdot had never posted news before.
Hal, let me back IN!
When he awoke, nightmare still remained
+Raider of the lost BBS
A few years ago, my local college paper (the Michigan Daily), in their Crime Notes section, included an item under the headline "Boyfriend reports missing girlfriend, later found":
You read the article, and you think, that could not possibly be improved on--love lost and regained all in 35 words. And then you realize the headline does it all in 6 words. It's a masterpiece.
I just have the clipping now, stuck to my office door, and don't even know what year it came from, much less who wrote it.
Somebody should track them down and buy the movie rights.
Early I woke, on a weekend?
"I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside" -- Calvin
Sold heirloom, bought present. You too?
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
God is dead. More at eleven.
through my dorm.
Today's lucky number is: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
Ouch!
Monkey kung foo: Who Flung Poo.
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
One borrowed:
To be or not to be?
One original:
"Get the hell out, three-eyes."
First Post! Oh, wait... Damn!
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
he saw
he conquered
he came
I took candy from a stranger.
A three legged dog named 'Lucky'.
My wife used to be male.
I know what you posted yesterday.
I have nothing to say.
Will likely be eaten by grue.
You're reading Slashdot. Of course you like Linux and pc hardware
These are the NUNS you WOO
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
This song's just six words long. like everyone forgets al?
God dead. --Nietzsche
Nietzsche dead. --God
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
It wasn't me, the convict claimed.
I remembered, but could never forgive.
None remembered, so it happened again.
He fell to his death, starving.
Pavlov wouldn't be so famous if he'd used a can opener instead of a bell.
Worse than that, he's dead Jim
Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), "God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' And---"
Repton.
They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
Call me Ishmael. I alone survived.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
Giggidygoggedygoo -
long words are for you!
"All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog." Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
I can't be bothered to complete
Hello, suicide hotline? Yeah, me again.
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
Short attention spans? Short stories. Profit!
At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
Another visitor.... stay awhile, stay fooorevvverrr!
I already read this on digg.
this is the most important sig ever! In your face 446154!
Surprise! Someone kidnapped on last page.
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
The baby's blood type? Delicious, mostly
Great sex! Then we got married.................. ;)
Of all the Universal Constants, here's one I know: Nice guys finish last
I need TP for my bunghole
Duke Nukem Forever, everybody quit waiting.
Duke Nukem Forever, everybody quit yawning.
Duke Nukem Forever, forget about it.
Duke Nukem Forever, it never happened.
You get the idea.
Aghast, Lara asks, "What plan?!"
One not effortless, so two vowels?
Whoever designed level 61 in Frozen Bubble is a sadistic bastard.
Arthur wrote: "God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."
I write:
God:\> logout
Delete Universe? [Yes]/No
--- Generation X: The first generation to have SIG lines inferior to their parents... ---
The smurfy smurf smurfed a smurf.
My pussy smells. Time to douche!
When kittens rule, we become toys.
But it's more fun to create a story together...
Six words building on six words, etc.
Ref: Sluggy Freelance.
God forgot to carry the one.
Someone set up us the bomb.
Few knew me. Then, Valve called.
"FDA staff reviewers expressed concern about the number of patients who were left out of the study because they died."
The best short story of all.
If your theory is different from practice, then your theory is wrong.
Andy Looney had a similar concept, with a 55 word limit.
Nanofiction
And the sequel:
Sold stock, chartered yacht, oops hurricane!
It's a trilogy, actually, though the last book never sold well:
Will read, wife profits, the end.
I came, I saw, I conquered.
So it's only three words long.
(nil)
Slashdot effect strikes. Bandwidth very limited.
1) Just six words in story.
2) ???
3) Profit!
Picture worth 1k words. Story: six.
Six notes? RIAA copyrighted everything already.
www.sjbaker.org
Hold my beer and watch this....
Girl saved, McGuffin recovered. Martini time!
Innumerate posts: Slashdot has gone downhill.
I should clarify: parent is fiction.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
'Twas a dark and stormy night.
Earth was destroyed! Film at eleven.
Reading code is like reading the dictionary - you have to read half of it before you can go back and understand it.
Oh no, not another internet meme!
What could possibly hurt the security of the American people more than giving our own government the ability to hide its
Professor Palindrome said, "Dias emord ni lap rosseforp?"
if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
Hate my life thus I blog.
She smiled, and closed the paren :-)
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Not fair, he used a contraction!
Big red button: must press. Oops!
*runs*
Click, Click, Click. What, no ammo? And here is yet another one: Space looks nice until you arrive and a third and final story: He would return, some millenniums later. The spell-checker thinks millennia is incorrect.
Haiku in six words?
Multisyllabification!
Non-impossible.
www.sjbaker.org
Writers strain hard, with minimal results.
Un-normalized database, developer jumps from bridge.
AWP bought, noobs pwned, whine more! Obviously, the dog is on fire. Dynamic pricing, hmm... underground deagle market! I came, I pwnt, they whined. Unstoppable, Excellent, Kicked By Console. cultureshock. (okay I cheated on that one)
A bullet may have your name on it but splash damage is addressed "To whom it may concern."
For sale: baby clothes, never used.
I didn't write that, it was a famous writer, possibly Ray Bradbury.
"Report my android," Valis said darkly.
Condemnant quod non intellegunt.
Santas list of naughty girls!!!
See my art -> http://herbevore.deviantart.com
E.g. by using Alan Moore's trick:
The birthing. Offspring emerged, grew, performed
YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
"The flux capacitor started throbing first."
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
I can't count you insensitive clod!
Slashdot troll squeals with glee at free karma article.
Oh You POS
"We know, but those laws blow"
Want to see something? Watch this!
Reading code is like reading the dictionary - you have to read half of it before you can go back and understand it.
Terrorists attack! Gouvernment responds, kills liberties.
Disclaimer: similarities to actual events are purely coincidental...
Short stories for ADD people? Genius!
I still need a spell cheker.
Please, pardon me while I pontificate.
Meagerness of dialect perceived as grandiloquent!
Is this onomatopoeia? (Lame, I know).
[They] Said nothing [of punctuation]!
This time in iambic pentameter! - Shakespeare
What's the etymology of this idiom?
In German, six words take pages!
"Let there be light!" [Big bang].
Who can fit the most syllables?
$=()^1/2
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Coderz 4 Life
What the fuck is this shit?!
Shag now? Shag later? Oh baby!
What sound do people on rollercoasters make? Hint: it's not Xbox 360.
All your base belongs to us.
But you may call me, Tim. or Password, one, two, three, four, five.
I found an amazing proof. -- Fermat
-
- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Want to see something really scary?
How can six words make stories?
In the beginning... yadayada... the end.
How much text do you have to put before the slashdot engine will allow you to post? I don't know.
Help stamp out iliturcy.
"All shall love me and despair!"
Espresso Beans, Chocolate, Dying Awake.
He Insists, Thesis, I'm Remiss.
Favorite
7 eats 9. 6 calls po-po.
We found him chewing on junior.
Jim - your name is Jim...
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these.
(sorry)
Ian Ameline
Brainslugs invade Texas! (PS They Starved) I think PS is a great word. WHO SAID IT'S NOT?
SGI reborn: here comes the lawyers!
Let's start a democracy. Ready, Iraq?
Gay marriage compromise: just hot chicks.
Nobel prize money finances new rims.
Crack plentiful: savvy addicts stock up.
My seven words would destroy your six!
This comment is only six words long.
Have you read my journal today?
This story is false. No, really.
"My God, it's full of stars!" or do contractions disqualify?
Heh.
You can learn a lot about a person if you just take the time to inject them with sodium pentathol
She said she's never coming back.
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
Using only six words is supercalafragilisticexpialadocious.
Build a man a fire, he's warm for one night. Set him on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Famine brought discovery: rich taste good.
Sent from the iPad I found in your car.
Cute girl... Shame she's a robot.
This task is easier with Germancompoundnouns.
;)
Sorry, just got back from a beginner's German class.
Brian "Psychochild" Green
MMO developer's blog
What old Koreans think of this.
Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Or: Slashdot! Slashdot? Slashdot! Slashdot? Slashdot! Dupe!
Too tired to think. Reactor meltdown.
The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Wire Magazine?... Oh, Wired. Stupid Slashdot.
Three pages of very short comments.
Sam! If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Kidney gone. Light fading. Damn kids.
I like muppets.
Vidi, vici, veni.
Latin joke? Geek.
-
- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
It's dark, eaten by a Grue.
LetterRip
Segmentation fault. Core dumped. Programmer shot. Blue Screen of Death? The usual. Six letter story? Way too short. That is all folks. Good night!
Of course nobody reads the FAQ! If people read the FAQ, the Questions wouldn't be so Frequently Asked.
Best way to hold babies? Pitchforks.
die444die
Galactic archeologists discover ancient Earth civilization
Brain eaters starve after vanquishing Earth
Honest man found; is a transexual
Honest politician found... killed by lobbyist
Honest lawyer found... no cases won
Night came unexpectedly. Where's the Sun?
She stole hearts; damn organ trader
Flame lasted all night; didn't matter
He faced his fear. It won.
She liked him, especially with ketchup
The date he dug up came alive
He lamented finding backwards Wishing Well
He knew better, but better left
He scanned Hell; it seemed nice.
Devil in details damns bean counters.
It arched skyward, kept arching... duck!
Dying put an end to it... mostly
Letter To Iran
I only wrote five words. Shit.
When A.I. succeeded we became pets.
"Think globally, act locally".
2006? 1984!
Dammit Jim, I'm not a wordsmith!
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Make
The date he dug up came alive
Just
Date he dug up came alive
I really need to proofread better.
Letter To Iran
God replied, "Abort, Retry, Fail?" Crap.
Once, I shot a giraffe. Splendid!
My advisors must be punished, harshly. :D
Craptastic Haiku
contestents generated
superior prose
There are 1.1... kinds of people.
The internet is made of tubes.
"In our tactical decisions, we are operating contrary to our strategic interest."
WWIII. It happened while we watched.
Unlike porn, which yada yada rimshot hey-ooh!
This sounds suspiciously like the now decade old idea of writing very short stories that are 55 words or less. Probably the best example of one of these is this story by Jeffrey Whitmore:
I read slashdot, and copied titles!
"'Tower of Babel' Translator Under Development"
"Lab Created Diamonds Come to Market"
"Oracle to Compete Wth Red Hat"
"NASA STEREO Spacecraft Set to Launch"
"Is the Game Media Being Oblivious?"
"Male Blood Elves Get Pumped Up"
"Canadian Music Industry Says Downloading Declining"
You did what to the RAID?
Looks like a lost cause, *sigh*.
Servers died, so did the admins.
Hacked all night, no one cared.
And the most famous of all:
Someone set up us the bomb!
Linux rules, Windoze drools, so there!
Nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained -Tom Baker, Doctor Who
But can it run Linux? ...Maybe.
Hemingway's story's in the first sentence.
I was in the pool: shrinkage.
Funniest Slashdot story ever, my sides!
Good Bye, Good Luck, Good Riddance.
My cats ate my karma. They also wrote this comment.
Funny mod, gains no good karma
Parent poster writes long short stories...
Browsing with +2 to insightful posts and a higher threshold makes the average post seen seem a lot more ingenious
Stuck in iPod factory, send help
"Six? I'll make mine five."
Yes, I am the one with the legendary sig.
Here's the story. Where's my check?
Ha, Zonk can't write halfling correctly.
(from the dragons-eye-opened-the-hafling-wept-michael-zenke dept.)
Do not be alarmed. This is only a test.
What they don't say is important
Headlines, not stories, comprise six words.
Imagine a Beowulf Cluster of those.
Zoe Brain - Rocket Scientist
"For Sale. Baby shoes. Never worn."
I think this is one of the saddest stories ever.
Then there's the world's shortest horror story: "The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door—"
And of course some science-fiction ones, courtesy of Everything2.
qntm.org
This post has cabbage six words.
qntm.org
We are all made of stars
3 works of world famous authors available for download on Slashdot's frontpage !
Seriously, I wonder if anyone could legally claim copyright ownership on a 6 word story.
If not, download my director's cut of the Star Wars saga script :
Luke, I am your father... Noooo!
The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool.
Will work for food.
I stole this Sig
Short Story Competition - tried, struggled, failed.
***You learn something Every day. And then you die.***
Famous last words: What happens if...
Adventure, Romance, MAD SCIENCE!
Superstitions die, reason flowers, humanity evolves.
"Avoid missing ball for high score"
"I Know You Are But What Am I?"
Future anthropologists' resources: Yankovic, Stewart, Onion
New opiate distilled: 'Religion' overdoses widespread.
For the SC2 fans out there: Humans become expert *dancers*, avenge Androsynth.
IM IN UR GOVERNMENT KILLING UR....
New high capacity battery, Soylent Pikachu.
Sunspot cycle delay loop. Exit condition!
Born, eat, shag, die.
bang goes my karma... again...
She never loved him. He knew.
The handsome moderator wisely clicks "insightful".
For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.
meh.
"Will somebody think of the children?!"
- Helen Lovejoy
Ackbar: "It's a trap!"
Emperor grins.
- George Lucas
Parent has nine words. Too many!
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
The Iowa landscape relentlessly did nothing.
Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies? Boobies boobies!
(This story is sponsored by booobieees!)
Pity the fool, set us up.
... and then they built the supercollider.
FBI Warning: Winners don't do drugs.
... and then they built the supercollider.
To do: say it wasn't you
--
If only sigs could be modded
Slashdot: It's made of people. People!
"My god, it's made of stars."
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Here we go: Everyone has AIDS! AIDS! AIDS!
Error: No error occurred
"Polarize the main deflector, Mister Data"
- Star Trek
"Shields still up? It's a trap!"
- Star Wars
"She's hot... too bad she's Cylon"
- BSG
---
"how can the same street intersect with itself? i must be at the nexus of the universe!" - cosmo kramer
Aren't the 'driods you're looking for.
Q:I was listening to a CD in Grip and it sounded horrible! What's up? A:Perhaps you are listening to country music
Not troll, read his post history.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Slashdot: Cranks and crankin' to Natalie
Taco finally got his Beowulf cluster.
Social 'tards feign offense at self-description.
The palm's skin type? Hairy, mostly.
Help! Trapped in a nerd's mind!
Nerdy had never eaten you-know-what before.
Nerd detector glasses perfected, in Japan.
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
In the room was the last person on Earth. There was a lock on the door.
Got writer's block; couldn't finish...
Christ! We've created an uncontrollable fusion
Boy gets girl, boy loses girl.
No sig? Sigh...
Wired is not the only one with the very short stories. There was a comic strip in the biggest Finnish newspaper a month ago featuring a pig who received shortened classics into his mobile. He read the three line version of Tolstoi's "Anna Karenina" - but still "The Odyssey" in 5 lines was too long for him.
Just started to guess when Reader's Digest will follow this trend... which yields to my entry:
"Reader's Digest to one-liners. Cutoffs foreseen."
URL to the comic strip for those who can read Finnish: http://www.hs.fi/viivijawagner/1135221853074
In Soviet Russia, frosty piss... Profit!
"In politics, stupidity isn't a handicap" - Napoleon
Warning, comments may not have been passed by the sanity department of my brain.
"The corpse hidden, they parted ways."
"After all, Max was only a dog."
"Since then, she sometimes wakes screaming."
"His will broken, he got a job." (Too close to home, methinks...)
"Not dead yet? Too late, now..."
"Do you love me?" "No..........yes."
"Look out for the--never mind."
"I am the KING! Ack--! *thud*"
Where does it end? Right here.
the antidote, my bad.
Paraphrasing an old joke I heard:
Buried dog. Had to. Was dead.
All your base belong to us!
--
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
That's when things went terribly wrong
unfortunately the elephant was still there
/usr/bin/loonie
For Sale: Toaster. Slight water damage
Honesty has a small, beautiful voice -- Mark Simmonds
Authority questions you. Return the favor. -- d474
Licking monkey butt:Cure for cancer?
"Dead boys do not say no."
Having seen enough, the universe implodes.
Playing catch, idly. Argh! My groin!
Monkeys coming fast. Deploy the walrus.
You maniacs! You blew it up! (abridged classic)
In the future, stories six words.
Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
He was born, lived, born again.
Serving your airship needs since 1995.
And on the other end of the spectrum, November is National Novel Writing Month. Write a 50K word novel in just one month.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
"To Serve Man - It's a cookbook!"
Serving your airship needs since 1995.
Unable to complete simple tasks.
And the longest is, "I do."
Ignore this comment, it's no story.
God said 'Speech Recognition'... nothing happened.
10 I WRITE CODE; GOTO 10
I am mute, here's my story:
Not a Slashdot dupe? Holy crap!
Bark less. Wag more.
They never saw the asteroid coming.
All wars now finished, rebuilding sucks.
First Contact. Confusion made it Last.
The Universe: Banging beginning, explosive finish.
He realized whose face it was.
The mother's voice is strangely sibilant.
Klingon cuisine was not for me.
Plenty of water, but massive monsters.
Annie get your gun... too late.
Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to conviction
What a rip off.
No haiku.
These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
I am not going to participate.
SigBooze
Grandpa, what were ice caps like?
"Telepathy spread by virus. Aliens invade."
"My mother, the car. I'm Rusty."
"Time Traveler returns to backwards life."
"Death cured. Zombies despair. Eat grains."
CyberKender
Apparently Appointed Lord Mayor of There
Wait! It was only a dream.
slow news day ... yawn ... stretch ... sigh
I promise I will pull out.
Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
In retrospect, intergalactic war seemed preferable.
There's a book like this from the late 70's, 100 Great Science Fiction Short Short Stories
I remember an Asimov entry (story format in the book was Title:Story): 'Science Fiction For Telepaths: "Aw, you know what I mean."'
(This) Song Is Just Six Words Long okay, seven, but bring it up with Al.
Infinity is overrated, Infinity+1, now that's cool!
Six word haiku? Ok.
Disintermediation
Xenophobia.
beware the jabberwock, my son! the jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Humanity's undoing: the legislation excluded machines.
Please consider making an automatic monthly recurring donation to the EFF
Sun goes nova. Aliens rescue dolphins.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
--Scott Adams
Iraq pushes button. Israel pushes back.
Downmodding is the refuge of the weak. Don't downmod, make a better argument!
This story's just six words long.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
--Scott Adams
This has many parallels to Ed Ruscha's work. Many of works dating from the '60s share a similar style, although I think he has many of these beat in humor and composition.
http://images.google.com/images?q=ed+ruscha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Ruscha
Barely enough to announce the sequel
Yes, but can they run linux?
Drat! The temporal fudge gun misfired.
"Why's my zipper sticky?" John wondered.
"Peel my poodle? Why?" asked Ginger.
The nuts burned. The squirrels danced.
Terrorist squirrels. Want nuts. Surrender now.
"Wait. That boot..." began Mr. Crocodile.
Little Cindy thought brains were squishy.
Salt. The slug shuddered. Oy.
"'My Country Right or Wrong'is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober,'" -- Chesterton
Insert one hundred Hitler images here.
"This is a model of a model of iron, modelled in iron."
Help! The server is on fire!!
~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
I was surprised that some of those stories are really good.
I've recently become a huge fan of the Gunsmoke radio plays. It revisits the issue of what you see in you mind's eye vs. watching it on the t00b, where there is little to no imaginitive process on the part of the listener/viewer, although decades of fans such as those of Star Trek, seeing things outside the actual context of shows says something about this. Even in Gunsmoke there's the implied relationship between Matt Dillon and Miss Kitty.
Closing my eyes and listening to the plays, with the very well done work of the sound crews brings from memory the smell of dust and old sun bleached wood, a harsh sun and unforgiving heat, raises hackles when the story is between shades of grey, rather than black and white/good vs evil.
Effective economy of words does the same thing. Hemingway's short (For sale: baby shoes, never worn) evokes a sadness of a dead infant, grief of a mother and so on -- even if there's no detail to imply they may simply be an extra pair which were grown out of before a living child could get to wear them.
I might as well have a go...
Orion looks different from this place.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Busses fixed: Sick transit's glorious monday.
Six word sentences can't say much.
Please rewind brain before returning body.
That's no alien, that's a man!
You get that thing I sent?
Mind comprehends perfect knowledge. Now what?
Buy OxLox: our air tastes better!
Great, now the moon wants royalties.
It was alive just now, I swear!
I could go on all day.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Short stories. Many inside jokes.
Ejaculating, Einstein sealed the dimensional rift.
"Position? Vector?" "Bowels. 299,792,458 m/s up."
Wow, a whole story's worth of posts that could fit in the subject line. I hereby offer the Weird Al version (see subject).
Hello! I've no short-term memory. Hello!
"It ran Linux, which saved mankind." © no_pets
"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." - Shepard Book Quoting Malcolm Reynolds
An idea: brilliant, posted, slashdotted, dead.
WoW; can anything be more addicting?
Press +++ for Sysop access
Conspiracy to deplete mod point pool!
Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair
Of course it's perfectly safe. Kaboom!
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
Sorry. No time for happy ending.
They all died, then came back.
Bombastic balding Bartholomew brazenly bandied alliteration.
This is more than six words.
My God man! Learn to count!
"Mistake number one, mugging Lizzy Borden."
"Normally dogs don't work with squids."
"He brought: Rose. She brought: Trapeze."
"Being half octopus eventually wore thin."
"He took her hand, she bled."
"Unexpectedly the fisherman became the fish."
"Avoid home cooking. The murdering bitch."
"Dog corrects the professor's math, again."
In Latin, that's only three words.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
"Genius begets genius. Explain yourself, son."
"Ordinarily, I'd stop. You're beyond help."
"Move along, nothing to see here."
"He zigged. I zagged. We missed."
"I thought, once. Didn't work out."
Fingers? oh my....
Todays a good day to die
Linux wept. All humans were dead.
Was joking & didn't read rules.
Oh You POS
Sorry, Wrong God.
Fled, in terror, into another cosmos.
(Yeah, yeah, it's trite, but I love my scifi.)
Don't blame me, it's usually 2 in the morning when I post
He let the magic smoke out.
The End