Conficker Worm Strike Reports Start Rolling In

Nieriko writes "Reports are trickling in about the impact from the Conficker worm, as infected systems passed zero hour at midnight and began downloading additional malicious components. Here are a couple of the more notable incidents caused by Conficker so far, according to published reports: — '... shortly after midnight local time, an ATM in the capital city of Reykjavik began spewing 100-Krona notes. ... A nuclear missile installation near Elmendorf Air force Base outside of Anchorage, Alaska briefly went on a full-scale military alert after technicians manning the bunker suspected that several of their control systems were infected with Conficker.'"

Comments

I think its infected my car.

[SuperBry]

All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[niskel]

They just want to make sure you become a properly informed citizen from a reliable and unbiased source!

Re:I think its infected my car.

[GameMaster]

Sorry, that's just a symptom of your, severe, brain damage.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[gollito]

No more biased than any of the other stations.

They all have agendas.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[notarockstar1979]

No, I did that on my way out this morning. By the way, tell your mom I said hey.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hi, just a pedantic question. The usage of "its" in the subject line of the parent: is it correct? I think it's not, because "its" should indicate possession. However, would it be correct to use "it's" instead? I was under the impression that "it's" indicates a contraction of "it is". Can it also be a contraction of "it has"? I'll take my answer of the air, thanks.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Oakk]

My leg hurts this morning... conficker?

Re:I think its infected my car.

[orthancstone]

All may have agendas (not necessarily true), but some are more biased than others (yes, Fox News fits in that category).

Re:I think its infected my car.

[maxume]

Yes, but Fox has Glenn Beck.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

If only that's all it took to undo years of CNN and university-elitist brainwashing...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[vlm]

All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.

A station that is not clearchannel still exists?

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

As well as ABC, NBC, CBS, NPR and on and on and on.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[neomunk]

university-elitist brainwashing...

Most people call that "learning".

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, like you get that from the networks or CNN.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[thesolo]

Bravo!

Re:I think its infected my car.

[WgT2]

Your list is but an understatement of the depth of their leanings... at least Fox gives a conservative view - whereas the others do NOT.

What is amazing is that the real haters of Fox don't acknowledge the bias of the others. It's completely laughable.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Tubal-Cain]

Sure. I'll be swinging by the cemetery later anyways.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[linhares]

Yeah, like you get that from the networks or CNN.

Listen here boy, I'll let you go this one time, but don't kid around with this anymore. CNN is just as stupid as FOXN, but it tries to pose as The Economist.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[superbus1929]

Everyone has the same bias: whatever brings in the most money.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

And some people call torture "questioning the prisoner".

Re:I think its infected my car.

[wizden]

They are going to start selling water made from his tears.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[adavies42]

yes, informally at least, "it's" for "it has" is fine. i wouldn't be terribly surprised if a copy-editor tried to fix it if you put it in a book thought. (btw, here's the letter you dropped from that last sentence: "f". hth.)

Re:I think its infected my car.

[WiFiBro]

"the real haters of Fox" -- Real Scotsman fallacy.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[serveto]

They have no consistency at all

I would say they are consistent.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[dogfolife69]

When you TV is overtaken by FOX to, then you know its time to worry!

Re:I think its infected my car.

[spacefiddle]

No more biased than any of the other stations.

They all have agendas.

You present the second line as proof of the truth of the first; however, they are two unrelated statements.

In fact, I believe the first assertion could even be quantified among stations by a standard scale - but we'd all have to agree on the validity of the scale and its interpretation first, so GLWT.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[SkyDude]

Every web site I try to go to ends up on DailyKos

Re:I think its infected my car.

[beadfulthings]

Oh, it's a lot worse than that! My laptop keeps telling me that all my base are belong to them, but it won't tell me who they are...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[icannotthinkofaname]

Bad example. There are also those who call torture "learning". Or have you never had a class like that?

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Talderas]

Some of my scripts spit out 9.5 GB log files.

See?

http://img25.imageshack.us/my.php?image=goodlogsgonebad.png

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Try the news from another country and see how insular (as well as biased) the whole U.S. new reporting is. Whistling in the dark.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[orthancstone]

What is amazing is that the real haters of Fox don't acknowledge the bias of the others. It's completely laughable.

No, the real hilarity is the presumption that 1) Fox News is honest about their bias (no they are not, they don't deny it but they actively avoid advertising the fact that they are strictly conservative viewpoints) and that 2) everyone else is strictly liberal (total bullshit, but knowing that fact requires remembering what media was like prior to Bush's 8 years...seems like most Fox News worshippers cannot remember it).

Re:I think its infected my car.

[orthancstone]

Yes, it is a wonder that conservatives get votes at all given that the national network are all in the tank for the Democratic National Party. No wonder Gore won in 2000.

Oh, wait...

Well, John Kerry corrected that in '04.

Son of a...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[ganjadude]

You did it at 4:20 AM... Must have went over board on the doritos and pop

Re:I think its infected my car.

[soren202]

Consistently insane doesn't count.

Neither does consistently inconsistent.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Talderas]

Oh man, I didn't even realize that. It started at 12:02am though. I guess between the file size and the time, some people may not think that's a real file.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

For the love of all that is holy!

Use imgur.com!

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Mister Whirly]

"At least over here the whole channel is considered a joke."

I live in the US and most people I know that live here also consider it the same.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

university-elitist brainwashing...

Most people call that "learning".

Yep, so did the Nazis - their movement gained most of its early support in the universities as well.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Me! Me! 42]

I think its obvious to anyone
(any "true" anyone.)
The Conficker Worm is infecting people's brains. Apparently its using Fox News as a vector to turn the viewers into netbots. This represents a significant escalation in virus technology.
Oh wait, I guess this has bee around for a while.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[soren202]

Yeah.... I subscribed to CNN's newsfeed at one point.

I lost all respect for them in about a week. Three quarters is half news, and an eighth is opinions written by people who don't really matter.

To say the least, I don't read CNN any more.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Jobi Usser]

All your base are belong to us

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Psychopath]

The degree of bias from Fox/CNN/MSNBC is subjectively scored based on how much you agree with whatever slop they're dishing out.

In other words, if you believe MSNBC has no bias, then you will also believe that Fox has an extreme bias. The reverse is also true.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

They just want to make sure you become a properly informed citizen from a reliable and unbiased source!

yea, like msnbc

Re:I think its infected my car.

[m0s3m8n]

It is funny how one news outlet, Fox, gets singled out so often here on /. since it does not fit with left-leaning tendencies of the "properly informed". However, those how are right-leaning think that just about all other news outlets, ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, CNN, MSNBC, NY Times, etc., are biased to the left. I am curious what percentage of journalists are left vs right leaning, if they would have the balls to say.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Most people call that "learning".

There's a big difference between learning (i.e. gaining true, useful knowledge) and an impressionable mind being indoctrinated by an individual or group with an agenda of *any* kind. Obviously, since you are unable to differentiate between the two, you learned very little at the indoctrination center you attended. What a d00fus.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[TheEldest]

Ewww.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Godwined!

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

All may have agendas (not necessarily true), but some are more biased than others (yes, Fox News fits in that category).

And ABC, CBS and NBC are not biased? Or completely stupid? Do you even watch Foxnews? How can you even listen to Katie Couric - what an idiot. And Stephanopopopopolis - ya think he could be anymore up Obama's ass? I love how he described the 'flight over was spectacular, and if the President can keep this up..." Like Obama himself flew the plan and served the food. Come on already, you all can't be that stupid to believe the hype can you??

Re:I think its infected my car.

[kae77]

They set you up the bomb, obviously.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[cjb658]

I consider myself to be a conservative. From my perspective:

-Fox News is right leaning
-CNN is slightly left leaning
-MSNBC is forward-leaning (because they're getting pounded from behind by the Obama administration)

Re:I think its infected my car.

[jnetsurfer]

I have to say, nice choice on where to ask that question! I can't think of anywhere where correct grammar is more highly valued than /. :-)

Re:I think its infected my car.

[silent_artichoke]

They
Them
Base

Re:I think its infected my car.

[brkello]

Maybe because time and time again Fox News proves to not have any journalistic integrity. They are the station that have whack jobs like Jack Thompson on all the time since he is an "expert" on video game violence. They only present one side. I mean, Obama addressed the nation and you had Bill O'Reily critiquing it. He isn't a journalist at all, just someone pushing his agenda (somewhat hypocritically). CNN had a team of people discussing what Obama talked about on both sides of the aisle. But then again, CNN has conservative air heads like Campbell Brown on. They also used to have commentaries from Glenn Beck. If you think Fox News is anything but a tool to push an agenda, then you really aren't paying attention. It is not news and I wish there was some way to sue them so they have to take that out of their name until they actually meet some basic journalistic standards.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe Fox gets singled out because during the Bush admin it focused on "violent protestors" and made sure they covered every flag waving event and heaped praise on the president. Now with him gone it was barely a week before they were saying "Is Obama in trouble?", "People are questioning him!".

The role of the press is not only to inform but to dig up what others are trying to hide from you. Maybe that is why you may feel other networks are "left leaning".

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

And reality. Don't forget the unfortunate and politically biased effects of reality.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

That is a very large assumption. Some people are more concerned about the accuracy of the reporting. Fox tends to make things up more frequently than others. Does that mean I think CNN or MSNBC are free and clear? No. 1 and 0 are not the only options.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[brkello]

I never got the whole elitist thing. So Obama is an elitist because he went to a good school and got good grades? I'd love to be an elitist then. How was McCain not an elite with his war hero background and millions of dollars? Do we want sub-elite people running the country? I don't really think the conservatives thought this insult through very well.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Crazy Taco]

Most people call that "learning".

Learning is the mental absorption and retention of information. Whether the information you learned is true or false is something else again, and I think that's the point he was making. Some universities may, in fact, be causing their students to learn false information. Brainwashing is a form of learning too.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[michaelmuffin]

In other words, if you believe MSNBC has no bias, then you will also believe that Fox has an extreme bias. The reverse is also true.

provided of course that you confine the political spectrum between MSNBC and Fox. those to the right of Fox or to the left of MSNBC will find them both full of shit

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Critical Facilities]

I am curious what percentage of journalists are left vs right leaning,

See for yourself.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

we need the ability to moderate things as "whoosh"

Re:I think its infected my car.

[airuck]

What?! Are the anti-academics claiming that the university curriculum is liberal or fascist? You can't possibly be claiming both, because that would be ignorant. Oh, right. Never mind.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[kbielefe]

There are two parts to the Fox News Channel: the journalism part and the editorial part. The journalism part is actually pretty "fair and balanced," and that's the part most people refer to when they talk about media bias. Unfortunately, that part comes on while no one is watching.

The editorial part is unabashedly conservative, but even they do a better job than the other channels in at least having someone there to provide token opposition. Their bias is very evident because they provide the contrast right there. Other channels with less obvious bias usually will at best tell you the other side's position in their own words.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[wild_pointer]

That was a bad try at April's fools for us Icelanders.

The smallest Krone bill is 500ISK.
100ISK is only like 80 cents USD :)

But everything is better than OMG PONIES!!!

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

I never got the whole elitist thing. So Obama is an elitist because he went to a good school and got good grades? I'd love to be an elitist then. How was McCain not an elite with his war hero background and millions of dollars? Do we want sub-elite people running the country? I don't really think the conservatives thought this insult through very well.

So you've actually seen Obama's transcripts? Huh. Please share.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[The End Of Days]

That's exactly what someone who's been brainwashed by the process would say.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[drakaan]

Most people call that "learning".

...especially those who spent a lot of time and money in a university...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[daem0n1x]

It's not true. In my country (10 million people) there are 4 open TV channels (and 1 more to start anytime soon) and a bunch of only-cable ones. Also a lot of radios. Almost none one of them is profitable. The same with newspapers, all are huge money black-holes, with the exception of 1 or 2.

The only ones which are profitable have the usual tits-n-ass shows, murder & atrocity news reports, stupid reality shows for old ladies in the morning and for brain dead teens in the afternoon.

The big corporations invest in media because they need propaganda, not because they make money out of it. If left only to the market to decide, only the tits-n-ass profitable media would survive and corporations would have no means to influence the higher tiers of society, who don't consume the low down shit that shows in popular media.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Turns out conservatives don't really think anything through all that well. That's why they're called conservatives.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[john8791]

Bill O'Reily doesn't claim to be a journalist. He is a commentator. The lefties like Katie Couric who claim to be journalists are the ones should be sued. Your just sore because Air America can't make it in the free market. Maybe Glorious Leader Barak Hussein Obama can fire him for you.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[tbgreve]

All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.

Strange, all mine were switched to NPR.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Here is the crux of the "elitist thing". You are not "elite" just because you went to school and got good grades. Money, history, etc do not make you "elite". The belief that you are better/smarter/whatever than everyone else makes you elite.

Obama (and Pelosi, Reid, etc) is an elitist because he believes that he can make better decisions about MY life than I can. Healthcare, which businesses "cannot fail", etc etc. Anyone who believes that they can make decisions about my life better than I can is an elitist.

That is the main difference between conservatives and liberals. Conservatives believe that you should make your own decisions and then reap the consequences (like bankruptcy for businesses with bad models) while liberals believe in protecting people from themselves by making the decisions for them or propping up those who make bad decisions.

Hope this helps you understand what "elite" is.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Nom du Keyboard]

They just want to make sure you become a properly informed citizen from a reliable and unbiased source!

The sad fact of this is that they're right. Fox News only looks far right because everyone else is so very far left. FN is actually pretty much in the middle--and all alone there.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

I think by "good", the GP means "not barely passing like George W Bush". That's not a negotiable statement. If his grades were at the level Bush's grades were, it's absolutely guaranteed his republican opponents would have crowed about it.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[bonch]

You know, nobody has ever given me an example of how Fox News is biased or twists its news. It's just an accepted punchline that nobody questions.

A UCLA-Stanford media study done a few years ago showed Fox News was the most centrist, with Brit Hume's show being the fairest of all news shows on TV. Naturally, the media didn't report this study very widely.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[rgviza]

some token neoconservatives can't change the fact that it's the Clinton News Network. Neo-cons are secretly working for the DNC anyway. That's why McCain got a Lieberman endorsement.

The RNC is a bunch of phonies, a puppet party. There isn't a real conservative in the whole lot. If there were, they wouldn't be pushing religion into politics since one of the basic tenets the country was founded on was *separation of church and state*

Don't get me started on no child left behind...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Ian Alexander]

at least Fox gives a conservative view - whereas the others do NOT.

Well duh, reality has a liberal bias. ;)

Re:I think its infected my car.

[rgviza]

It's neither, it's capitalist. The education industry is one of the largest in the country. It's too bad they fail miserably at their corporate mission.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[orthancstone]

There are two parts to the Fox News Channel: the journalism part and the editorial part. The journalism part is actually pretty "fair and balanced," and that's the part most people refer to when they talk about media bias.

I disagree. While their reporting often tries to eliminate bias (and I'll grant you this, the actual story details tend to be quite fair), they generate tons of stories that are absolute trash based on their overall bias.

While Fox News does do good reporting, it is the less than newsworthy news they report on that shows their bias to form concern in their viewers. I'd wager that 9/10 stories they report on are nothing more than targeted fluff.

There's a reason I stick to WSJ for my biased news. They at least report on things of general relevance. Fox News' reporting comes off as barely better than the National Inquirer most days.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Jawn98685]

No more biased than any of the other stations.

They all have agendas.

True, but relatively few of them have the unmitigated gall to refer to themselves as "Fair and Balanced ® "

Re:I think its infected my car.

[mjhacker]

So conservatives would be okay with a gay couple deciding to get married? Or with decriminalizing marijuana? Or legalizing liquor sales on sundays? What makes the conservatives any less "elitist" for thinking that they can make better decisions for other people? I shouldn't be barred from buying a bottle of wine on Sunday because it might upset a hyper conservative Christian. Or if I was gay, I shouldn't be barred from entering into a simple legally binding contract with another consenting adult who happened to be the same sex. I'd say it's pretty damned "elitist" to make those decisions based on dogmatic values or personal prejudices.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[falcon5768]

and what is scary is... your right there ARE people who are farther right of FOX.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[commodoresloat]

That was a funny April Fool's post! You really had me going there for a minute.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[an.echte.trilingue]

but even they do a better job than the other channels in at least having someone there to provide token opposition. Their bias is very evident because they provide the contrast right there.

I believe that you misspelled "strawman" a couple of times. Let me fix that:

Yhey do a better job than the other channels in at least having someone there to provide strawman opposition.Their bias is very evident because they provide the strawman right there.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[maxume]

O'Rly claimed that he was a journalist last night on Letterman, and that he was thus different than Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. He admitted that what he does now is commentary, but he was being pretty ridiculous.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[commodoresloat]

Some universities may, in fact, be causing their students to learn false information.

Which universities are causing this to happen, to which students, with what false information? When such statements are made without answering these basic questions, it's pretty clear we're dealing with a fundamentally useless (and somewhat pathetic) knee-jerk anti-intellectualism.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[armitage787]

Hmm im trying to remember what ever happened to Glenn Beck. . . O ya he went to Fox.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

You're right that you never got it... Elitists are not necessarily people who are elite (i.e. at the top of their game), although plenty of elite people are elitists. Consider the elitism displayed by certain Linux users when newbies try asking them for help.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Cube Steak]

Don't get me started on no child left behind...

I think we all thank you for not spewing more Rush Limbaugh dittohead bullshit.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[kbielefe]

I'd wager that 9/10 stories they report on are nothing more than targeted fluff.

Didn't I just say the good parts only happen when no one is watching? To paraphrase Churchill, Fox News is the most biased tv news channel, except for all the others. Every media outlet is more about entertainment than education nowadays.

If you want real news, you have to form your own opinions from primary sources. A bill is up for debate in Congress, read the bill. The president proposes a budget, read the budget. The Federal Reserve makes a new policy, read their press release. You want to know the administration's policies, read the press conference transcript instead of the filtered version. Subscribe to mailing lists. 95% of the time, when a reporter says "according to _____" you can subscribe directly to their source and get your news hours earlier.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

The degree of bias from Fox/CNN/MSNBC is subjectively scored based on how much you agree with whatever slop they're dishing out.

In other words, if you believe MSNBC has no bias, then you will also believe that Fox has an extreme bias. The reverse is also true.

I have to disagree.
I personally like to watch all the networks, and yes I can see how there is a little bias in some cases.

But the stunts that I see on Fox really take the cake. They will often have a piece on an issue that I actually agree with them on. The "experts" they interview are morons, the anchor commentary insipid, and the entire program is, quite frankly, completely obnoxious.
They focus all their attention on sensationalism and spin, and rarely (if ever) have any facts or informed viewpoints.

MSNBC is almost as bad, but I guess it doesn't bother me as much because they just seem incompetant, while Fox comes across as condenscending.
Of the three I think CNN does a better job, but their bias exists more along the lines of which stories they run in the first place- the content of their reporting seems a little more sterile which also helps.

But I think the final word regarding the general quality & integrity of Fox can be summed up in two words: "Geraldo Rivera". Enough said.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

you poor poor man

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Profane MuthaFucka]

On April Fools Day, I can almost believe that's true.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[RyuuzakiTetsuya]

Which news network has hired:

Alan Keyes
Michael Savage
Tucker Carlson
Joe Scarborough
Pat Buchanan... etc?

It wasn't Fox News.

MSNBC doesn't have the ideological bent coming from the very very high end of the corporate leadership telling them to run with conservative talking points. MSNBC has a couple of moderates like Chris Matthews and David Shuster, one super liberal, Rachel Maddow, and one member of the reality based community(probably a liberal but doesn't take marching orders from the Obama administration), Keith Olbermann. That's why it's "left leaning" because the front men for the night time shows have a leftward bent. it's the difference between a skew, and a 90 degree bend. Unlike Rupert Murdoch, Jeff Zucker isn't a dyed in the wool partisan hack. He likes to make money. Olbermann and Maddow and Matthews makes MSNBC money. Well, mostly Olbermann and Maddow, but we're talking about a decision based on money, not complete ideological bias coming from high up as Rupert Murdoch and then cascading to Roger Ailes, the guy who ran media affairs for Bush Sr.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[CAIMLAS]

Not true at all. You think it's more biased, but it's most likely just that you're more violently opposed to the particular brand of bias on Fox than on the other channels. I know that holds true for me, but in the reverse: I can't watch most of those other channels because the fundamental principles ('first beliefs') the reporters hold are plainly evident in the "biased" speech they use when interviewing and discussing - or even the particular slant or perspective they decide to take on a story.

News isn't so much news anymore as it is an action call from a political perspective. Yes, they're all guilty. One side operates off a "neocon lite" agenda with (at times) a strong seasoning of constitutional fervor, the other operates off of whatever they're calling the leftist agenda to destroy American principles (or the fascist and liberty agendas, respectively - depending on how you're coming at it).

It's hard (nigh impossible) to not be biased when there is no possible way to actually be unbiased due to the polarization of the political spectrum.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[brkello]

But Bush/Cheny told believed they knew better than the American people about the war on Iraq. They refused to read newspapers and had all their information fed through their own channels. They thought they knew better and they were wrong. That's the whole problem of labeling liberals elitist. You have just as many conservative elitists telling us what to believe about abortion, stem cells, marriage, etc.

If conservatives believe you should reap the consequences of decisions, why isn't Bush and Cheny up for war crimes? Why aren't people being held accountable for torture? Why did Bush shrug of any responsibility for the mess we are in?

Your post sounds pretty, but facts don't even come close to back it up. This is the trick it seems that conservatives like to play. Write or say something and sound well-educated on the subject matter, and just hope people don't use their brains to actually think about if it is true or not. Conservatives try to "protect" us from seeing boobs, from reading about witchcraft, from doing things their religion doesn't agree with. Conservatives believe in golden parachutes for companies that fail.

Really, all politicians think they know better than us. You think you, as a conservative, knows what is better for us. I guess that makes you elite? It is just a dumb argument, I'm sorry.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

IMO, government needs to get out of the business of "marriage". "Marriage" is the domain of the church. Government needs to ONLY recognize "civil union" that can be entered into by any two adult people. I am against gay "marriage" because it is trying to redefine a RELIGIOUS term, and the government has no business doing that.
For all I care you could buy liquor on Sundays. Most conservatives feel the same way. That is just an old law that remains on the books.
As for marijuana, I couldn't care less if it was made legal. BUT, it needs to be made legal exactly the same as tobacco and alcohol. To adults only. Children (and teens are included) have no business getting drunk or stoned as it hampers their ability to learn in school and become productive members of society.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[BCW2]

Compared to all NBC affiliates, this has some grains of truth.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

So conservatives would be okay with a gay couple deciding to get married? No
Or with decriminalizing marijuana? Yes
Or legalizing liquor sales on sundays? Yes
Or if I was gay, I shouldn't be barred from entering into a simple legally binding contract with another consenting adult who happened to be the same sex. Its called a civil union

Re:I think its infected my car.

[bonch]

A Measure of Media Bias

Tim Groseclose
Department of Political Science
  UCLA

Jeff Milyo
Department of Economics
University of Missouri

December 2004

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah it's a good thing the neocons showed that they don't fit your definition of elitism by not deciding which failing banks get on the corporate welfare dole and which ones don't.

Oh, wait.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[eleuthero]

Even reporting is going to have a bias because producers at CNN/FOX are going to be more likely to run certain stories than others. Editorials used to be focused comments by editors... now it seems to be the main thrust of any news cast (albeit more so on Fox than on the others, but even these have problems).

It amazes me that an april fools' joke story has turned into a discussion on journalistic bias. Then again, Fox is somewhat of an april fools' joke itself given its status as 'propaganda' in Italy (it isn't re-broadcast there by law)

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Brainwashing is a form of learning too.

Which is why the best universities don't teach facts. They teach independent thought, also known as critical reflection and analysis.

To put it (too) simple: colleges teach facts; universities teach skills.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Fastolfe]

Government needs to ONLY recognize "civil union" that can be entered into by any two adult people.

Why only two?

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Rendonsmug]

That study shows "Newshour with Jim Lehrer" to be the fairest news show on TV, not anything on Fox...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[brkello]

Your upset because Palin can't answer what newspapers and magazines she read? Give me a break. She was asked questions that any reasonable politician should have been able to answer (hell, I could have answered them) but she failed miserably because she isn't very smart and was a huge judgment mistake my McCain.

The other poster already commented on the journalist thing...but when your news station has a "non-journalist" covering Obama's major speeches, how do you expect rational, logical people to take you seriously? How is it fair and balanced? Really, please try to watch Fox News from a point of view of trying to find facts instead of trying to find viewpoints you agree with. They edit to change meaning, they blow out of proportion non-issues if they are against liberals, they change the little R next to congress members names to Ds when they have sexual relations with their male interns. And people just sit by and act if it is ok. It isn't. This isn't an entertainment show like Rush Limbaugh. It is billed as a news channel, and it fails at that on almost every level.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[techno-vampire]

Not so. I know people who dislike Fox News because they're liberal and it isn't. Some of them ignore the bias in the stations they listen to, others don't. Several of them freely admit that their favorite stations are just as biased as Fox and that they listen to them because what they hear fits their politics. I have, however, noticed that very few people who openly hate Fox are willing to admit that they're biased because it doesn't fit their views.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Profane MuthaFucka]

It's a crappy measure of media bias. Media Bias is a rhetorical and framing bias, not a citation bias. That's the problem.

Note: I'm not aware of any studies which indicate magnitude or direction of rhetorical bias. I am just specifying the category which media bias falls into. If you want to measure media bias, you need to figure out how to measure framing bias.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

It should also be pointed out that this is all just political rhetoric that someone who claims Fox is 'fair and balanced' has learned to believe. A non elitist is someone with a very wealthy grandfather, another grandfather that was a Senator. Someone who went to Ivy league schools (I think both Harvard and Yale, but I don't remember exactly, one or both). A person who's brother is a Governor and who in fact was a Governor themselves. They are still not elitist. Oh wait, this person's father was a President and Vice-President of the United States. Nope, not elitist, not this guy. In other words, I call bullshit. 'Elitist' is just another way to say, "this guy is on the other team, and this is a slur we are going to use towards him". We probably should consider we're all on the same team and the vast majority of us are equally hosed by the politics that works us in this way.

 

Re:I think its infected my car.

[AftanGustur]

No more biased than any of the other stations. They all have agendas.

That's like saying that all cars are alike, since they all do the same thing.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Man Eating Duck]

They all have agendas.

Which is why you follow a selection of news from very different sources, correlate the common factors of their coverage, and form your own opinion. You'll probably still be misinformed, but less prone to deliberate misinformation/bias from a single source.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Syntroxis]

Fox..conservative???? LOL, here have some more koolaide

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Lehk228]

the other stations are not as biased as fox news

Re:I think its infected my car.

[techno-vampire]

I'm a moderate and almost all of them look biased from where I sit. Not that I mind, as long as they're reasonably open about it. It's the ones who pretend to be fair and impartial while only presenting one side of the story and refusing to admit that the other POV even exists that I don't like, and here on the Left Coast, most of those are Very Liberal in their politics.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

After traveling africa and the middle east, here's my take

Fox - center left
CNN World - somewhat factual
CNN America - Anti-freedom
NBC - anti-american

Your anti-american biases might skew your perspective.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[geekoid]

maybe, but Fox news is far worse. I men it's sickening. I've seen them 'report' things I agree with, but gotten agree becasue they lied or misrepresented something to bolster their alleged point.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[geekoid]

"at least Fox gives a neo-con view "

There you go.

There is no such think as liberal media. The is media that get's called liberal media when they report facts conservative don't like.

Fox lies about facts, twists truth and have been shown to suppress news stories that turn unfavorable to their view.

Every one had bias, good media takes steps to minimize it, Fox is not good media.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[geekoid]

Token opposition is worse then no opposition. It's only used to make people think you are fair and balance. In reality, the token person might get misquoted, or a minimum amount of time while people who have no facts, evidence, or are blatantly cow-towing to a political agenda.

It is horrible. I am not saying that as a liberal, I am saying that as someone who actually thinks about what is being said and does their own research.

guess what? if this was about Air America, I'd pretty much say ther same thing about there unbalanced liber agend.
liberal

Re:I think its infected my car.

[geekoid]

good question.
Multiple marriage communities you end up with genetic problems and abuse.
You can see it over and over again.

Not that I wouldn't like a woman rubbing my shoulders while another one cooks..and possible a third and forth to have a job~

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Civil unions or gay marriage or whatever you want to call it is a callout for equal rights...at this point, no one is legally able to be married to more than one spouse. No one is asking for extraordinary rights...

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Sry forgot to qoute but To the Male/female that says there computer keeps saying all of there bases belong to them That is a cheat code from Warcraft III Made by Blizzard entertainment Since the game is a real time strategy it was first belived to be a cheat code that switched your opponents stuff with yours and vice-versa When warcraft III was finally released it was soon found out to be nothing but a instant win. I dont belive conficker worm is doing this unless they have a huge facination with telling others that they lose (witch is possible) (sry about the extreme waste of time but was it a true waste of time? you now know something u probally didnt. Wanna no more interesting facts or have a question email Valleyplayer13_12@yahoo.com (-valleyplayer131@useast Warcraft III rocks)

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Frenchman113]

To prevent tax fraud?

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why only two?

Why only people?

I happen to love cats and rocks, you insensitive clod.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[zobier]

Why only indeed.

Also to GP:
        http://etymonline.com/?term=marry
        http://etymonline.com/?term=wed

!RELIGIOUS term

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

The bias at Fox is one thing, but what I really dislike is all the screaming, lying, bad manners and general lack of enlightenment.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[cusco]

Any university teaching Chicago School economics.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[fractoid]

"the real haters of Fox" -- Real Scotsman fallacy.

You're wrong, because a REAL Scotsman wouldn't use a fallacious argument.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[pm2012]

Some broadcasters do their best not to ally themselves to political parties eg the BBC. It's paid for by a licence fee. The problem at large with bias is that it operates at two levels the first is obviously when publications and broadcasters depend on advertising. These publishers/broadcasters cannot ever criticise certain products and services purely because they can't afford to bite the hand that feeds them. The second problem is deeper and more worrying. Fox is owned by Rupert Murdoch. As an owner of so much media and satellites around the world, his empire literally has the power of political sway. In some respect he is a king maker and an un-elected one at that. It is worth remembering that the Iraq was an illegal war completely based on lies and yet Fox promoted it as "worthy" and "right" . . . one of the pay-offs for their stance was to ride into Baghdad with the first wave of American armoured forces. When bias is this strong it would be better if they changed their name to "Fox Republican News" and to be more honest about it.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Anonymous Coward]

They have a tendency to put on people who are enormous jerks and idiots with extreme views to fill the side of the counterpoint which is yet another side of the bias. If they bring on some moron to portray the other side it makes the side they are pushing look even better. Its actually worse than displaying only one side because it fills people with the false illusion of fairness.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[sumdumass]

I think your confused. The interview was with CBS that put all this into their heads.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[jknapka]

Why only two?

Why only people?

Because (as far as we know at present) only adult humans can give informed consent.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Just Some Guy]

So conservatives would be okay with a gay couple deciding to get married? Or with decriminalizing marijuana? Or legalizing liquor sales on sundays?

I am. Conservatives aren't the sole owners of "anti-freedom", you know.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[WiFiBro]

My point is that you seem to make a comment on people who hate Fox News, but then immediately you exclude the people who make intelligent decisions about it. That's a smart way of making it impossible to rebut your claim with statistics or whatever. I'ld rather have it that you'ld say 'some' or 'many' than 'real'.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[techno-vampire]

And my point is that, in my personal experience, most people who hate Fox News are unwilling to admit their own bias, but that there are exceptions. I have two good friends who are very liberal in their politics. One happily points out his own bias the other denies that it exists. Most of the people I'm acquainted with who don't like Fox News tend toward the denier side, while insisting that the liberal stations are objective. I won't say that you can't hate Fox News without that blind spot about liberal reporting, but in my personal experience, not having it is rare.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Mattsson]

Totally unbiased news is impossible, since people have bias and sometimes doesn't even know when they act on this.
But any news-channel or newspaper that wants to be taken serious should have being as unbiased as possible as their main agenda.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[lsatenstein]

ACTUALLY, all American news media are sloppy and biased. I gave up on any media that uses the wire services af factual. For North American News, I rely on the BBC.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[WgT2]

*ahem*

The misspellings are yours.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[WgT2]

They will actually have the liberals ON the shows; it's not just secondhand reporting like the 5 o'clock evening news.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[WgT2]

I think there is a such thing as liberal media.

I also think you would be better informed to take a look at the New York Times, Acorn, and the Obama Campaign staff to find out what REAL suppression of news stories is... and just how biased 'good media' can be.

Re:I think its infected my car.

[Fastolfe]

"Genetic problems"?? You seem to be confusing incest/inbreeding with polygamy. Abuse? You seem to be attributing correlation to causation. "You can see it over and over again"?? The plural of "anecdote" is not "data". You wouldn't mind having a third or a fourth wife, yeah? If you found three or four women that would consent to such a relationship, what exactly is the problem? Domestic violence happens even with a pair of married heterosexual couples.

All I'm trying to say is that once you take away the religious significance of marriage by renaming it and redefining it as a legal concept, you have to step back and look at all of the other religious aspects of marriage that still remain in your non-religious "civil union". You seem to want to keep the union between only two people, and I'm curious to see why you think that should be.

IMO, any benefits extended to members of a civil union should be justified, not grandfathered into something that's the same as marriage, but called something different:

Are we doing it because we want to encourage people to have children? Then let's extend the benefit to people that have children, not to members of a civil union.

Are we doing it because we want to encourage a stable household to raise children? Then let's extend the benefit to civil unions of any shape and size. Surely raising a child in a household that includes grandparents, aunts and/or uncles is just as "stable" as a nuclear family (which, by the way, is a recent American invention).

Are we doing it because we want family members the ability to take over the finances and make decisions for the household? Why limit that to a spouse? Maybe my grandparents or other family members want me to assume control over their assets too?

You can't take the position that "marriage" is a religious concept, and civil unions are going to be way better because they aren't religious, and then get uptight when someone suggests a variation that offends your religious/moral sensibilities.

Yeah, April Fools...

[Cornwallis]

Bullshit

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anthony_Cargile]

I hope so, otherwise this is Wargames meets reality. If this is a joke, I didn't laugh because I've been watching this ConFlickr worm closely ever since seeing it in action.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[yincrash]

how exactly would an atm become infected with conficker?

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[mweather]

They run Windows.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anthony_Cargile]

From TFA:

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

Nevermind, nevermind. 'Twas a good prank.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[RendonWI]

I know no one RTFA's but come in, the article linked says it is an april fools joke.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[adder]

Fairly obvious, esp. since TFA even states it's an April Fool's joke at the bottom of TFA.

Oh, but I broke the "Don't RTFA" rule >_>

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I think the April fool is that Slashdot has turned into Digg for a day with lame april fools articles.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Fungii]

OMFGZREALLY??!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Em Emalb]

Really? I could have sworn the ATM I saw a while back sitting in an "altered" state was running a customized version of OS2.

A while back = a couple years though, so I could see it...

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Critical Facilities]

I've been watching this ConFlickr worm closely

Take note everyone, this is a variant of the Conficker worm, though much more nefarious. According to preliminary reports, it will harness the power of infected, "zombie" computers to flood the internet with pretty pictures of butterflies, ponies, and various other graphic files. The only sure-fire way to protect yourselves is to do a 'search' on your PC for any file with the .JPG extension and delete it.

Hurry, there is precious little time left. The end is pretty frickin' nigh.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[LurkerXXX]

Slashdot is lame every year on April fools day.

This is nothing new. At least we don't have to deal with that moronic 'OMG ponies' theme this year.

Time to tune out for the day and come back tomorrow when there might actually be 'news for nerds' instead of 'omgdz, we are as cool as the onion' idiocy from the so-called editors.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[bFusion]

>> Banking officials there reportedly said the Microsoft Windows-based based bank system began disbursing the bills after a local prankster crammed an infected USB stick into the maw of the teller machine.

Hah, if only that really worked.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I know no one RTFA's but come in,

I'm in. Now what.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Em Emalb]

Can you help me? I was able to get rid of all .jpg files on my computer but one. I tried to delete ur_mom_traffic_cone_howdidshedothat.jpg but it won't let me.

Says "Access denied: this file is in use and cannot be deleted"

The only things I have running right now are WoW, BT, OOo, Thunderbird, Outlook, Pine, Firefox, Chrome, Opera, 9 VMWare sessions, DreamWeaver and Photoshop.

HELP!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Daimanta]

It is a joke, they are apparently using computers with Windows if it is true.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[h4rm0ny]

I saw a crashed ATM in the UK some years ago that appeared to be running either NT or Windows 2000. Something from around that era, anyway. It was pretty disturbing to see a floating "illegal operation" dialog box on a screen I had previously assumed was some simple and secure dedicated system.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Canazza]

A fair few ATMS in the UK run Windows. I've seen RBS, HBOS, Lloyds TSB and Abbey with Windows Error boxes/BSODs/Loading Screens. It's not totally uncommon.
Also, Here

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I've been watching this ConFlickr worm closely

Take note everyone, this is a variant of the Conficker worm, though much more nefarious. According to preliminary reports, it will harness the power of infected, "zombie" computers to flood the internet with pretty pictures of butterflies, ponies,

YES!!! OmG PoN1eS!!!!!!11!1!1

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Zerth]

Many, if not most, do run OS2. But some newer ATMs, especially those by new manufacturers, use windows.

A russian ATM with a "You haven't activated yet" error message.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[ijakings]

Good old april fools stories.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Clipless]

Did you try restarting your computer 3 times? That is what the tech guys at work always tell me to do.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[GameMaster]

While this is an April Fools joke, many ATMs, really, do run on Windows. I've seen a number of screenshots of crashed ATMs that either give a bluescreen or crash out to the desktop.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I saw the same at a Postomat in Rome.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[noundi]

The same goes with machines from Swedens largest bank Swedbank. I saw it crash once and it was, just like the one you saw, running NT or Win2k. Back then I would have told you for sure which one but I don't remember much more than a "classic" start button.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Addict-09]

you laugh but my elderly father once searched for all dll's and deleted all he could based on something his AV was trying to tell him.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[YttriumOxide]

At least we don't have to deal with that moronic 'OMG ponies' theme this year.

You're right... OMG KITTENZ is much better as I'm sure everyone can agree.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Wolvenhaven]

The fake BBC article a few years ago which talked about a version of Ebola which restarted people's hearts and the brain damaged caused them to be zombies was much more entertaining.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[eln]

Can you help me? I was able to get rid of all .jpg files on my computer but one. I tried to delete ur_mom_traffic_cone_howdidshedothat.jpg but it won't let me.

Says "Access denied: this file is in use and cannot be deleted"

Just be patient, I'm almost done with it.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[FTWinston]

Hell, even the UK's new (stupid!) rotating cylindrical street signs seem to run Windows XP.
Spotted one a few weeks ago showing a big popup about how updates had been downloaded and windows needed to be restarted.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Arthur Grumbine]

I hope so, otherwise this is Wargames meets reality. If this is a joke, I didn't laugh because I've been watching this ConFlickr worm closely ever since seeing it in action.

But have you been watching it closely enough to be aware of how it is spelled?

Also, your UID and the tone of your post (considering what day it is) loudly proclaim to the rest of us, "I'm new here!!".

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[HangingChad]

I'm glad not to be only one who didn't think that article was a bit funny. Using April Fools as an excuse to yell fire in a theater isn't what it's about. If there's enough of that going around on one day, what happens if something really bad happened? If you tried reporting it April 1, everyone would just ignore it.

That article was the equivalent of pulling the fire alarm or calling 911 as a joke. I guaran-damn-tee the fire department is not amused.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[grodzix]

Yeah, I've seen in Manchester after there was power outage that Barclays and (I think it was) Nat West ATMs been booting up to XP.

I treat Windows as a toy that is good os for home users but cannot understand anyone who uses it for any serious things. Seeing Windows being used for ATMs which handles your money just scares me...

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[DrgnDancer]

There hasn't been a serious story on /. yet today. I always hope nothing important actually happens on April 1st, for fear it'll be ignored and get filed as "yet another gag"

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[dogfolife69]

TGF UNIX!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[mikesd81]

They do have to dial out to check your account # and PIN against your bank. So there is communication.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[WgT2]

Works for me!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[AmaranthineNight]

That's a pretty lame April Fools prank...

there's no way you RTFA. Try something more believable next time. Excuse me while I cower in my bunker awaiting nuclear holocaust.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Tubal-Cain]

The ATM at my local Wall-Mart showed a Win 2K desktop at one point.

Apparently ignorance really is bliss.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Daetrin]

The ATMs spewing 100 krona notes is being reported in multiple places, and if one element of the story is true i suspect the others are too.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[daveime]

You have to cycle the power on the modem too !

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought it was funny.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[mrdoogee]

+1
Would read again.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[mrdoogee]

Delete system32.

(no. Don't really.)

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[linhares]

Fuck! This just in! LINUX BUYS MICROSOFT! Wants to Incorporate Vista Tech Into New Version!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[interested pyro]

with no firewall. from nearby atm user:
"Hey, this is telling me to download this free antivirus software here. I guess its ok..."
*BEEP*
"Hey, it didnt go away..... WTF is this sh*t? This girl is taking a dump in a pool"
if you do not want this to happen to you, go inside and talk to a human being

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[spacefiddle]

Well, that's what you get for listening to Archvillains.

In other news, there's a flickr user calling herself Jay Peg. Maybe just 'jaypeg.' There's also a racehorse named Jay Peg. I'm gonna put down the Google and back away slowly with my hands in the air now.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[perryizgr8]

try removing and replacing the cmos battery, with the pc running.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[heidaro]

Icelandic ATMs actually run Windows NT, some of them at least.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Turken]

Didn't even have to get to the bottom of the article to know it was April Fools BS... he claimed that the ATM got infected from a USB drive "crammed into the maw of the teller machine." And even if the author merely misdescribed a USB port as the machines "maw" and it was common for ATM to use a Windows variant for their OS, I can't imagine one ever being designed with an unsecured and easily accessible USB port.

On a side note, I hate this day because of all these lame "stories" floating around the web that just plain aren't funny. ThinkGeek on the other hand usually does a good job with their spoof items, since they come up with stuff that really SHOULD be made for real.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[SkyDude]

I'll assume the majority of /. ers figured it was a prank, because we all know ATMs don't run on Windows, right?

About 25 years ago, a news director on a Boston TV station thought it would make a great April Fool's day prank if the station reported that a volcano has erupted at the Great Blue Hills, located just outside Boston, in the town of Milton, MA. The prank featured film of lava running downhill and a small eruption.

While most viewers got the joke, a large number didn't. Police and fire emergency phone lines were overwhelmed by panicked callers.

A day later, the news director was fired.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[TheRaven64]

They run a variety of operating systems. I saw one running OS/2 reboot when I approached it, but the one nearest my house runs Windows; when it last crashed I saw it boot to the Windows desktop and then run a .bat file to update the software. I believe RMX used to be popular too.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[mewshi_nya]

I'm very pro-kitten!

>.>

.

Too much time at the writing center...

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Em Emalb]

Are you done yet?

C'mon man, I really gotta get this file off my pee cee.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[BakaHoushi]

I agree. It's a good one. Both because it's subtle AND it punishes the tendency to not RTFA. Bravo, /.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

The same goes with machines from Swedens largest bank Swedbank.

Where /do/ they come up with these delightful names!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[soren202]

No, I'd just wash the CPU. That one always works for me.

Just remember, if it's still wet, don't put the fan back on. The air from the fan could fling the water onto other, vital components of the computer.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[anjilslaire]

Actually, yes they do. I've seen Bank of America ATMs open for service by their techs, and the XP boot logo & desktop running before the ATM GUI loads up a few years ago.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[MagusSlurpy]

The only sure-fire way to protect yourselves is to do a 'search' on your PC for any file with the .JPG extension and delete it.

Parent post lies! I did this, and now my collection of scantily-clad Mickey Rourke photos is gone! This obviously did not remove the virus!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I wrote ATM software in the UK for a few years.

The systems actually ran for the longest time on good 'ol OS2!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

from what i can tell, the new atms from diebold (chase uses these) are running windows xp. (this is a first hand report, the software at a local branch had crashed and was sitting at the desktop with the illegal op window open).

I switched banks the next day.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Psychopath]

Really? I could have sworn the ATM I saw a while back sitting in an "altered" state was running a customized version of OS2.

A while back = a couple years though, so I could see it...

Nearly all ATMs ran OS/2 for quite some time, but most have now transitioned to Windows OS. This coincided with (1) transition from legacy IBM protocols to TCP/IP and (2) end of manufacturer support for OS/2.

There may still be some around running something other than a relatively modern Windows OS, but it's a small number.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[stfvon007]

Now if this happened in Zimbabwe, Locals would take the notes for use as toilet paper, as the value of their money as paper is more than their face value.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

I saw an HSBC ATM reboot the other day. Definately windows XP.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[asl_midget]

I once put my atm card into a machine in Chicago which promptly rebooted, giving me a lovely view of the OS/2 boot process. I can't tell you how happy I was when it finished booting and spit out my card...

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[JasterBobaMereel]

Do not announce anything important on 1st of April ...

and that's all 49 hours of it across the 25 Time zones of the globe ...and try not to die or no-one will believe it!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[pete_norm]

Does that mean that Slashdot is the only source of information you use?? You must find it strange that so many thing happen over and over...

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Binestar]

http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/04/01/0041200 is a valid article.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[OfficeSupplySamurai]

Certainly, it would be much more interesting to hear what, if anything, Conficker is actually doing since today is a day that it could conceivably do something,.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[s66iw]

I saw a BSOD'd ATM in Ottawa. Can't remember the bank, though.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[illumnatLA]

I agree as well. Because the link was from the Washington Post and not Billy Bob's Technology Barn, I was expecting they'd at least have the decency to do some 'actual' reporting rather than just adding to the pile of lame, bogus news stories that come out today.

What's next from a 'mainstream' news source?

President Obama Assassinated
.
.
.
.
.
April fools, lulz, jes kiddin'

Please 'mainstream' news... report the *NEWS*

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[commodoresloat]

The only things I have running right now are WoW, BT, OOo, Thunderbird, Outlook, Pine, Firefox, Chrome, Opera, 9 VMWare sessions, DreamWeaver and Photoshop.

HELP!

Try quitting pine, then try again.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[commodoresloat]

Really? I could have sworn the ATM I saw a while back sitting in an "altered" state was running a customized version of OS2.

Look, man, if you were in an altered state when you looked at this, you can't really be sure of what OS you saw, now, can you?

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[argux]

You know, he may have been modded troll, but actually the reason I visited Slashdot today was to see if there was any actual information on what that worm is doing. I was kind of busy minding my own business and I remembered about it.

Now I see the only story that even mentions the conficker worm is an april fool's joke. It's kinda lame that we can't get any real news today, and I suppose we'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out what's happening.

Also, has anyone noticed that these April Fool's stories are becoming lamer and lamer? Every year they seem to be more obvious. I don't think we'll get something as good as OMGPONIES!!11! ever again :(

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[tuxgeek]

Before I realized it was a joke, my first thought was: MS Windows at the controls of our nuclear arsenal and/or missile defense systems? WTF???

"Sir, Early warning has confirmed missile launches and now I'm tracking multiple inbound bogies."
"Stand ready for launch of missile interceptors corporal."
"Right Sir, ready"
"Steady .. steady .. Launch!"
"Sir, Clippy just tied himself onto a knot and has froze ... I have a blue screen now, sir! What should I do?"
"Hope the first inbound nuke is aimed at the Redmond Campus. Why, why, why, did we buy this crap ..."
BOOM!

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Joe Snipe]

Except for everything kdawson posted. Spooky.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Cruciform]

Back in the mid 90s, I walked into a local bank (Canada) and noticed a new machine in the foyer with the ATMs. It was a passbook updating machine, sitting in the corner. It was anchored down but set away from the wall. So I took a peek behind it. The keyboard was tucked into a small recess in the back.
I restrained my urge to mess with it and left :)

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

Try deleting it with a program called unlocker

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[RiotingPacifist]

not funny, its true they really do it lets them spam you with ads

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

oh and obama authorized reparations

haha!
April fools(thank god)

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

Lucky duck, it turned my WoW toon into Mario.... :(

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

Also, your UID and the tone of your post (considering what day it is) loudly proclaim to the rest of us, "I'm new here!!".

And yet this is from a (still 1M) UID posting at only +1, versus a newer UID that posts at +2 and has quite a few modded up comments, looking down his history (past the streak of perfectly fine yet modded Troll comments he explains in his .sig). Hypocrisy? I think this is a pretty cut and dry case.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[geekoid]

You could just remove it from your system. Much better approach then just staring at it.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[Anonymous Coward]

The Icelandic ATMs *used to* run OS/2. That was way back when in the early 1990's. When I worked for the banks in 1997, they had already switched to Windows NT.

BUT, if the article's author would have done at least a single minute's research, he would have found that 100-kronas are coins not bills, and as such not supplied by ATMs.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[mweather]

You say that like talking to a human being is preferable.

Re:Yeah, April Fools...

[interested pyro]

people need to socialize face-to-face with real people, esp. everybody on /.
I dont know about you, but i dont really like ATM machines after one of them ate my credit card and then shut down. I prefer to go inside to withdraw money because if they keep your card, you can ask>/i> them for it back.

ATM

[Anonymous Coward]

Why does MY local ATM never spew out 100 euro notes? :(

Re:ATM

[Kentaree]

Because you live outside the euro zone?

Re:ATM

[david_thornley]

I'd be amazed if mine did. I never see a 100 Euro note around here. Heck, I rarely see more than a $20 bill.

Re:ATM

[Robmonster]

It does, it just debits them from your account like normal.

Re:ATM

[Syberz]

Cuz you're not in Europe?

Re:ATM

[rickb928]

You were hoping for 100-Krona notes?

Re:ATM

[xouumalperxe]

Why does MY local ATM never spew out 100 euro notes? :(

Yeah, well, "100 ISK to EUR" on google yielded: "100 Iceland kronur = 0.357164427 Euros", so... hmm... there's gotta be a joke here somewhere...

Re:ATM

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually it said 100-Krona notes. Not that there is such a thing anymore (we dumped it for 100 kr. coins some years ago)

Re:ATM

[Hack'n'Slash]

100 Euros? That's what, $1.00 US?

Re:ATM

[Splab]

Actually the 100 krona incident has nothing to do with Conficker, but the current exchange rate, the machine realized that Icelandic Krona was dropping so fast the money wouldn't be worth the paper it was painted on, and decided to dump the lot.

Re:ATM

[Anonymous Coward]

$100 EURO = $132.179 USD

Re:ATM

[wsanders]

Isn't 100 Krona, like $300,000,000 Canadian$?

Re:ATM

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow. Uninformed, isolated idiot.

Re:ATM

[Don_dumb]

Hate to burst your bubble - the Euro is worth more than the dollar and has been for a while. Apparently there's a 'financial crisis' going on.

Re:ATM

[Anonymous Coward]

probably because you write software for free

Re:ATM

[limaxray]

The Euro has always been worth more than the Dollar. Since the financial crisis though, the difference has actually lessened significantly. (~$1.50 per Euro then vs ~$1.30 per Euro now).

Now $100 Canadian is like $0.06 US

(PS, it's fun to pick on other nation's currencies, even if it's completely baseless - especially Canada)

Re:ATM

[hannson]

1/2L coke costs between 150-200 ISK.

$1 (USD) = 121 ISK

Re:ATM

[Ardeaem]

The Euro has always been worth more than the Dollar.

No, when the Euro was first introduced it dropped to less than $1 US. I was in France around that time, and I believe it was roughly $0.90 US to 1 Euro.

Re:ATM

[commodoresloat]

Wow - I had no idea cocaine was that cheap in Europe!

Re:ATM

[BotnetZombie]

There's more than that. There are no 100 ISK notes in Iceland anymore. It was changed to coins a long time ago. Perhaps the virus found a way to print the old notes again?

Re:ATM

[Hack'n'Slash]

No bubble burst - I know quite well that the Euro is worth more than a dollar. I'm quite surprised at how many people responded seriously to what I thought was an obviously outlandish claim.

Re:ATM

[Suicyco]

You mean monopoly money?

Re:ATM

[Tubal-Cain]

I would prefer 100 Coronas.

Re:ATM

[El_Oscuro]

I was once at a grocery store checkout machine, which I managed to get to the NT4.0 desktop. I didn't see any option for "start/programs/dispense money" though. I also couldn't figure out restart the application, so I just rebooted it instead.

The damndest thing with these stories today

[jollyreaper]

It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Sybert42]

What if the Singularity went down today?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[rilles]

All Your Base Are Mine! s/(base)*/mine/g

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[JustOK]

mebbe it did, and we'll just keep repeating this day over and over again, ending in destruction an infinite number of times, and we won't even know enough to say, "Oh no, not again."

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Sir_Lewk]

From the article:

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Stan Vassilev]

It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

Sad reality is Conficker's authors were smart enough to rely on the stupidity of said news publishers.

Disinformation with zero effort, for nearly 48 hours, who wouldn't want to launch their malicious plan on this very day?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Cristofori42]

Yeah but since a large percentage of the community (let's go with 84.3%) doesn't R the FA then most of us will never know. But of course since there are so many informative people like you who post the stuff we care about then I guess it's a moot point.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[kirbysuperstar]

C'mon, that's half the fun.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Anonymous Coward]

mineAminelminelmine mineYmineomineuminermine mineBmineaminesmineemine mineAminermineemine mineMmineiminenmineemine
mine

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Sechr Nibw]

Look out, toasters! He's stealing your (base)*s! How will you ever find the lost tribe of COBOL?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[themacks]

according to google it did: http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/cadie/

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[jeffshoaf]

What if the Singularity went down today?

It's in process - check out CADIE on google!

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[LordEd]

The trick is the RTFA. You never know when they might say something like "In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first. "

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[iainl]

Oh dear God, I hope not. It's bad enough with Sonny & Cher, but the radio this morning was playing Lily Allen.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[angryphase]

Far more fun to reverse your expectations every 1st April, the world (annoyingly) makes more sense. I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW MONEY-SPEWING ATM OVERLORDS!

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Just Some Guy]

It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

So far it's been the best April Fools I've ever seen on Slashdot. The stories are usually painfully bad, but I've done a few double-takes this morning. Well done, editors!

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[gmuslera]

The problem with Google announcements is that they released GMail in Apr.1st. Back in its time, gb of free mail space, working spam filter, and even the interface, then that was almost as unbelievable as the pidgeon powered search engine..

What if they REALLY got the singularity, and they are officially announcing it now?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Workaphobia]

Isn't it a bit in poor taste to mix the April Fools reporting with a legitimate topic that is supposed to be newsworthy today?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[fastest fascist]

Mod parent off topic! Since when did TFA have anything to do with the discussion on Slashdot?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[ShannaraFan]

It's almost as hard as trying to prioritize enhancement requests that users submit for our internal applications...

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Anonymous Coward]

It may be that Conficker is the biggest April Fool's joke ever.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[ultranova]

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

How do you know it's not that part that is the April fool? That is, rather than publishing a fictitious article, make you believe that a legitimate article is untrue?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[phatStrat]

It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

Not only is it hard to tell, it's scary that we can't tell the difference anymore. Just looking at yesterday's news:
* Honda Develops Brain Interface For Robot Control
* Cold War Standoff Over ISS Toilet

Fact or fiction? Maybe for whoever submit these stories it already was April 1...

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[FiloEleven]

Or maybe they are ALSO infected with Conficker, and it causes news about itself to be riddled with "April Fools!" disclaimers...

o_O

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[ehiris]

Absolutely not. You want to be fooled or just entertained?
Also, nothing like a story where Microsoft is at the center of a Cyber-Armageddon.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[againjj]

Also from the article -- at the top, no less:

Editor's Note: The following was written in the spirit of April Fool's Day. Brian is following the story and if there are real reports of outbreak, he'll report them in a separate post.

They are making damn sure that people know it is fake. Given the notice at the top, it kind of made reading the article pointless. Why have a fake article if you let people know beforehand? (The Onion excepted, of course.)

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Anonymous Coward]

register.com IS down. Coincidence?

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Workaphobia]

Entertained, please.

Also, I was modded overrated? Weak.

Re:The damndest thing with these stories today

[Anonymous Coward]

Can't they be both at the same time?

Oh, dear.

[Anonymous Coward]

Have the rent-a-cops at Redmond made sure to bolt the furniture down?

100 króna notes?

[VMaN]

those are worth around 80c, i call shens

Re:100 króna notes?

[JustinOpinion]

The current exchange rate for Swedish krona to US Dollars is 0.121192. So 100 krona notes are worth 12.12 USD.

Re:100 króna notes?

[Anonymous Coward]

If only Reykjavik was in Sweden.

Re:100 króna notes?

[YttriumOxide]

Not even that much... 100 Icelandic Kronur = $0.47 USD or 0.36 Euro at current exchange rates.

Other currencies with (essentially) the same name are doing much better though - 100 Swedish Kronor is a bit over $12, 100 Norwegian Kroner is currently a bit under $15 and 100 Danish Kroner is getting up near $18. That's just the Scandinavians though - 100 Czech Koruny is a bit under $5.

Re:100 króna notes?

[JustinOpinion]

Can I pretend that I just tricked you with an April Fool's joke? Or did I just make myself look like an ass?

~sigh~ Serves me right for posting an arrogant retort. 100 Icelandic króna would be worth 47 US cents.

Re:100 króna notes?

[dextromulous]

Posting to remove 'Informative' moderation. I will think before moderating...

Re:100 króna notes?

[againjj]

The article has prominent notices saying it's fake.

This just in...

[Bruiser80]

The true nature of the worm has been discovered. Slashdot will be simultaneously accessed by all the infected computers, making Slashdot.org succumb to its own "slashdot effect"

Re:This just in...

[ControversialMatt]

I figured it'd just DDoS 4chan....again.

Re:This just in...

[darcling]

Wait, Slashdotting Slashdot?! That's more of a threat to the world than the LHC...

Re:This just in...

[jgtg32a]

While 4chan dying sounds like a good thing it isn't, Conficker won't actually kill 4chan users so it will only scatter them, spreading the corruption across the internet.

Re:This just in...

[mblase]

Conficker won't actually kill 4chan users so it will only scatter them, spreading the corruption across the internet.

...each one containing a "pearl of consciousness" from 4chan itself, thereby guaranteeing its immortality.

If you notice after tomorrow that the trolls on your other message boards seem just a bit more sentient than usual, this is why.

Re:This just in...

[Wooky_linuxer]

They will all come here to get the new shiny achievements. Are there achievements in 4chan?

Re:This just in...

[Anonymous Coward]

So what you're saying is that Conficker isn't so much a worm as it is a sneeze?

Re:This just in...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey now, don't be so harsh.

Besides, some of us are already here on Slashdot.

Re:This just in...

[Spatial]

They're already spread everywhere, it's not like 4chan is isolated. They just don't act as retarded outside of it, since it's not part of the 'culture' elsewhere. It's more like a retardation outlet than a source.

That's my take on it, at least.

Re:This just in...

[CorporateSuit]

While 4chan dying sounds like a good thing it isn't, Conficker won't actually kill 4chan users so it will only scatter them, spreading the corruption across the internet.

Well, since 4chan is pure bullshit, then spreading it around would make it fertilizer. It only stinks when it's all clumped together in one big pile.

Re:This just in...

[steelfood]

Actually, you need critical mass to achieve the singularity that is 4chan.

Astronomical analogy FTW!

Re:This just in...

[Cruciform]

A "pearl of consciousness"?
Is that what you get when you expose a pedophile and photoshop to an oyster?
If so, sounds like 4chan :P

100 Krona Buys lots of Bumwine

[Anonymous Coward]

an ATM in the capital city of Reykjavik began spewing 100-Krona notes

The bums of the earth collectively curse their luck that they were not in Reykjavik at the stroke of midnight to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Of course, any bums living in Reykjavik would long since have turned to popsicles so the scenario is probably hypothetical and moot.

Achievement

[zalle]

Do I get one for posting in this thread?

Re:Achievement

[Icegryphon]

No but you might get one for bumping up Mootykins with a vote.

Re:Achievement

[Lookin4Trouble]

Yep

Re:Achievement

[DAldredge]

No.

Genius

[MyLongNickName]

Whoever set this virus up was smart to have things happen on April 1st. I never know if these reports are real or someone is making a joke.

Re:Genius

[schklerg]

I think the April 1 code that has been so brilliantly discovered may simply be nothing more than a ruse, but as you say, on April 1 it will be tough to tell. And I HATE having mod points on this day of the calendar!

Re:Genius

[Bruiser80]

Truly genius. It puts fixing the virus off another day, because nobody will believe the "install this patch from Microsoft" news today.

Maybe a full day is all it needs to take over the world! Mwa ha ha!

Re:Genius

[chaim79]

fortunately this article had a note at the bottom stating that it was an April fools joke.

Re:Genius

[u38cg]

April 1st is a traditional day for time-based malware to go live, dating back to at least the mid nineties.

Re:Genius

[robinsonne]

Agreed, I opened up /. this morning and was like...damn, why today do I get mod points??

Re:Genius

[chis101]

Maybe giving you mod points WAS an April fools joke. If you want the achievement of posti

Re:Genius

[gmuslera]

Now comes the truly genius part: the real destruction will start at 0:00 of Apr.2, so all people will think that are still coming apr 1st jokes, till is too late.

Re:Genius

[Anonymous Coward]

From the article:

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

Me too

[Senator24]

Weird! My radio lost all of its FM/AM pre-sets. It also killed my battery somehow.

Almost there, keep trying

[Leafheart]

Almost worked. There were a few nice parts, but the disclaimer were too over the top, and the thing about Big Ben even more unbeliveable than the oen about Alaska. And if they wanted a game joke, they could have worked better on the Leroy character.

OMGPONIES, I'm meta-moderating April's Fools articles. That's a low blow in my life.

Re:Almost there, keep trying

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, I was going for a second. Until I realized that no military would be irresponsible enough to actually run Windows on a system in a nuclear installation.

Related Conficker Incident ...

[xmas2003]

Rick Astly passes away - rolls over in his grave.

Re:Related Conficker Incident ...

[dmneoblade]

But... he said he'd never run around or desert me. The liar!

Re:Related Conficker Incident ...

[Drizzt Do'Urden]

Dude.. the guy is still alive! :P

Re:Related Conficker Incident ...

[canning]

No way. Rick Astley would never give you up or let you down.

Re:Related Conficker Incident ...

[vlm]

Dude.. the guy is still alive!

No, I'm sad to report Conficker got him. Haven't you been watching the news? Remember when there were terrorists hiding behind every tree trunk waiting to pounce on us? Well, conficker got them too.

April Fools!

[Alfthemack]

Yeah, right... ATMs spewing money in the street due to a Windows worm. Nice.

Re:April Fools!

[Nos.]

A lot of ATMs run Windows. I know for a fact the RBC (Royal Bank of Canada) do.

Re:April Fools!

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, RBC is "smart" that way. Also, if you want to test their online banking security, you will notice that it does not meet 128 bit encryption standards.... makes you feel real safe with your money eh..

OMG

[Barny]

ITS IN MUH BRAIN!

Re:OMG

[Anonymous Coward]

The lunatic is in my head

The lunatic is in my head

You raise the blade, you make the change

You re-arrange me till Im sane

You lock the door

And throw away the key

Theres someone in my head but its not me.

Is this the April Fools story?

[fprintf]

Is this the April Fools story so I can get my achievement, as noted in the prior front page story?

Re:Is this the April Fools story?

[justanotherlinuxguy]

yep. Oh thats one for me too.

Re:Is this the April Fools story?

[CrackerJackz]

I thought that the actual 'Achievement' article was the one requiring a post in order to unlock. (gotta love the the fact there is no master list of achievements yet :) )

It would be more fun to require a +5 mod on said April 1st post for it to count ...

Re:Is this the April Fools story?

[D Ninja]

Me too!

Re:Is this the April Fools story?

[Shadin]

Same

Re:Is this the April Fools story?

[bentcd]

Is this the April Fools story so I can get my achievement, as noted in the prior front page story?

There is a "the" April Fools story? From today's summaries there would appear to be quite a number of them.

stripperbots need love too.

[kallisti5]

...Strippers began gyrating for free lap dances due to cornfliker software malfunctions.

Non-story

[Stormcrow309]

It is a non-story until my work gets infected.

Re:Non-story

[flitty]

Can slashdot PLEASE implement a "-1 Missed the April Fool's Day Joke" Moderation option?

Re:Non-story

[MadKeithV]

It's an april fool's jo ***NO CARRIER***

Re:Non-story

[RKThoadan]

I think a more general "-1 Whooosshh" option for all missed jokes would be better.

Re:Non-story

[Remus Shepherd]

Moderators should just refuse to moderate April Fool's stories. The story's from an alternate reality; let them moderate their own insane events.

Re:Non-story

[RyoShin]

Congratulations, you've created the /. April Fool's Day joke for next year: all new mod options!

-1 Missed April Fool's Joke
-1 Didn't Pay Taxes
+1 Smells Nice
+1 Types Well
-1 Virgin

Re:Non-story

[Nautical Insanity]

If you're telling me that everything I've heard about Conficker the past few weeks has been one massive coordinated April Fool's joke, I am going to be pissed.

That would mean that I made all this popcorn for nothing.

Re:Non-story

[sik0fewl]

I like to mod those posts up so people start to wonder if the story is actually true.

It's my own little April Fools joke.

Re:Non-story

[gknoy]

Does Slashdot suspend all Real News Handling on April 1, though? This story is one that I'm not exactly sure is legit or not. Do we have to wait for tomorrow for the stories saying, "No, really, we weren't kidding about Conficker"? (We might need to wait that long to /believe/ them, I guess.)

Re:Non-story

[rts008]

This story is one that I'm not exactly sure is legit or not. Do we have to wait for tomorrow for the stories saying, "No, really, we weren't kidding about Conficker"? (We might need to wait that long to /believe/ them, I guess.)

Well you could cower in fear until tomorrow worrying about it, or you could try this new technique called RTFA. In 30 seconds or less, you will have all of your questions answered.

No, I'm not going to tell you that TFA said it was a joke, because then you'd have wait until tomorrow to know if I was telling the truth.

You can tell who actually RTFA ...

[powerlord]

The end of the Fine Article:

Read on after the jump for more Conficker madness.

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

Re:You can tell who actually RTFA ...

[BoogeyOfTheMan]

But how will we know if its true or not? We already read about the Alaska missiles and that wasnt true... I feel so deceived...

hold me

yeah.

[Anonymous Coward]

yeah. getting accomplishment(?)

Local Washington State Radio Reported

[h2okies]

That Bill Gates was finally paying out on his email promises...

Re:Local Washington State Radio Reported

[Literaryhero]

I knew all of my hard work would finally pay off!

Reykjavik

[Norsefire]

Having an ATM throwing up 100 Krona notes can't be good for the Icelandic economy.

Re:Reykjavik

[Anonymous Coward]

Having an ATM throwing up 100 Krona notes can't be good for the Icelandic economy.

Especially when 100 Krona notes are very rare now a days;) as they were deprecated by 100 Krona coins little over 15 years ago. That is probably the weirdest side effect of a computer virus that I've heard of.

Re:Reykjavik

[Anonymous Coward]

WHAT economy? Last I heard, the Icelandic government was broke, and no one's lending it anything, except maybe a handkerchief...

So all those 100-Krona notes will make good doilies for beer mugs and/or toilet paper and little else.

Oh, wait, I forgot - Obama's at the G20 conference and everything will be fixed. OK, never mind...

Spreading quickly

[cha0zmag3]

Its spread to my kids and mutated into the strep throat!

Relax! They've already admitted the DEFCON 3

[wiredog]

Was the result of missile jockeys who'd had a bit too much coffee. Nothing to do with conficker. Not a Wargames scenario at all.

In Copenhagen

[Anonymous Coward]

Trafficlights have started to switch color in the opposite order. No impact on trafic so far.

It's already attacking the shoe cupboard here

[vorlich]

All the Manola Blaniks uploaded themselves to the shop! Hey, do I get achievement points for posting here? Can't we twitter this?

Who was fooled?

[megamerican]

Its April first. Was anyone actually thinking they were serious?

Re:Who was fooled?

[baKanale]

Maybe that was Conflicker's plan all along! Do all it's dirty business on April 1st, and nobody will believe the news!

Conficker strikes

[thefear]

Changing everyones homepage to a youtube rickroll

Not funny...

[bigdavesmith]

There's a difference between a funny april fools joke (see StackOverflow's new Cornify feature) and just being annoying by reporting fake news. I hate to be the downer, but I'd still like to be able to watch /. for good info today. Too bad I guess.

Re:Not funny...

[Yvanhoe]

I would add that we have to expect Conficker-related news today... or the usual slashdot lag could factor in and we will get itneresting articles in 2 or 3 days.

Re:Not funny...

[Culture20]

Yes, the OMG Ponies theme from years past was awesome. This and other stories today make me lose faith in /. as a nerd-news source.

Re:Not funny...

[LurkerXXX]

Yeah, on the day when a decent size, very advanced botnet was to start changing behavior, it would have been really nice to have someplace to go to find out what the new changes were.

How did the authorities do at blocking the huge number of possible new domains the bad guys were going to try to use to pass out updates to the botnet?

Were updates actually successfully rolling out to the botnet? Is there any word on what the new updates do if so?

There are lots of questions about an interesting story. Instead, we get bullshit The Onion imitations.

CNN actually has some small about of real relevent news on it. Get your tech news from CNN or somewhere else today.

Slashdot sucks at the 'news for nerds' stuff.

Re:Not funny...

[Anonymous Coward]

I think it is OK if /. has one April Fools post for the day. Hopefully they now have that out of the way. This certainly wasn't very funny.

Re:Not funny...

[JustinOpinion]

Well different people have different sense of humor. I think it would presumptuous for you or I to claim with any kind of objective authority that this fake news report isn't funny. I'm sure there are plenty of people who think it is.

I personally don't think it's that funny--but again my point is just that humor is a variable thing. So just because you or I don't get a laugh from it, doesn't mean it isn't funny.

What is funny, in my opinion, is reading through the Slashdot comments and seeing how many of them are written (non ironically) as if the news report is real. It's funny not because those people are gullible... but because those Slashdot readers basically just read the headline and rushed to post a comment without reading the summary and realizing the whole thing was ridiculous. It's a window into how many posters don't read the article, or even the summary. That makes me chuckle.

Re:Not funny...

[John Hasler]

> I'd still like to be able to watch /. for good info today.

Why should today be different?

Re:Not funny...

[lucas teh geek]

I think it would be best if they had no april fools stories one year. everyone is so conditioned to expect that they'll flood the front page with meaningless garbage; they'd fool more people making them try to guess which is the fake article on april 1st when they're all real.

Re:Not funny...

[CopaceticOpus]

Considering the /. (ahem) "editorial process", it's anyone's guess if they realized they were posting an April Fool's story or not.

Re:Not funny...

[Loosifur]

Whoa, I had no idea that one of the effects of Conficker was the widespread distribution of wet blankets...

Re:Not funny...

[ab0mb88]

I hate to be the downer, but I'd still like to be able to watch /. for good info today.

Then feel free to create your own tech blog and moderate it to the level of usage of Slashdot, then you can run it however you want. April 1st has been observed on this site since long before you had an account.

Re:Not funny...

[bigdavesmith]

Then feel free to create your own tech blog and moderate it to the level of usage of Slashdot, then you can run it however you want. April 1st has been observed on this site since long before you had an account.

I'm not suggesting that /. not observe the apparently sacred holiday of April Fools Day. I simply wish that it was still a reliable source for news on this day. As another commenter said, it would be great to get some actual Conficker news today, and not fake joke news.
I see you've indeed been around a long time, so I'm sorry that my comment offended you enough to prompt your reply. I'm still a /. fan!

Re:Not funny...

[Anonymous Coward]

GP has a valid point, and anyone who cares about slashdot enough to be a member should care about its validity as a news source.

Also, if you're such an old-timer, why do your posts still start out with a score of 1? Maybe it's because you're a d-bag and you should go start your own tech blog and moderate it like the troll you are.

WHAT?

[93 Escort Wagon]

A nuclear missile installation near Elmendorf Air force Base outside of Anchorage, Alaska briefly went on a full-scale military alert after technicians manning the bunker suspected that several of their control systems were infected with Conficker.'

Why the **** does the Air Force have critical systems 1) Running a stock commercial OS, and 2) Connected in a way where this sort of infection is even POSSIBLE?

Re:WHAT?

[Anonymous Coward]

I wonder if the installations are Vista Ready.

Re:WHAT?

[sally_80]

Oh dear - it was done at 2:30pm too - you're meant to April Fools before midday! Ah well - it's a better trick then they tried on the baby site gurgle!

Re:WHAT?

[Bruiser80]

WHOOOOOOOSH!

Re:WHAT?

[Azaril]

Quote from the article:

"Read on after the jump for more Conficker madness.

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first."

Sure it doesn't match up to the ones in the previous years, but thats the fall of /. for you. The real story is that all that happened is an update. Almost a disapointment really.

Re:WHAT?

[Arkem Beta]

Why the **** does the Air Force have critical systems 1) Running a stock commercial OS, and 2) Connected in a way where this sort of infection is even POSSIBLE?

You must be new here.

Re:WHAT?

[Anonymous Coward]

To play minesweeper.

Re:WHAT?

[ohcrapitssteve]

It's so that when things happen, like a worm infection for example, they don't have to have a custom anti virus solution to take care of it. They can just use off the shelf Norton AV to clean up infections. Why spend precious tax dollars on a custom system when off the shelf stuff works even better?

And to me, it makes perfect sense to connect them to the internet, so that they can receive all the virus def. updates and WIndows patches as fast as possible.

Re:WHAT?

[Anonymous Coward]

This is the Air Force we're talking about here.

Re:WHAT?

[Lumpy]

Because the Brits shows us that their warships are flawless running Windows for Warships.

They run Embedded XP for Missles.

Re:WHAT?

[snack]

Minesweeper is serious business!
http://tinyurl.com/2ah8xc

Re:WHAT?

[notarockstar1979]

You read the f'ing article?!?

Re:WHAT?

[Anonymous Coward]

That would be a pretty (april) foolish way to run your nuclear missile installation...

Re:WHAT?

[Anonymous Coward]

Um ... fake. Dumbass

Re:WHAT?

[LordEd]

Minesweeper has been around for a very long time, so I think its stable.

Re:WHAT?

[iamhigh]

http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/usa/c3i/cvpmrjan/sld001.htm Yep. The windows computers are actually just "watching" stations that monitor the network, but they are connected, and therefore somehow could pose a threat. This slideshow doesn't have info on the windows computer as they are a pretty new addition to the network... but I found the info somewhere, sometime.

Re:WHAT?

[rob13572468]

thats not the worst part.... As of midnight, the WOPR is mere hours away from "winning the game"...

Re:WHAT?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hurrrrr...

Modded 3 because of bemusing

Re:WHAT?

[detox.method()]

Request new tag: operationanchorage

Re:WHAT?

[Kaleidoscopio]

I would guess this is one of the April Fools stories of the day. Lots of them are beeing cast on Slashdot. I specially enjoy the twitter one.

The Best April Fools Joke

[gurutc]

Would be if Conficker does nothing after all the man-hours spent preparing for it.

Oh no....

[unr3a1]

This is really scary stuff.... I am going to have to watch my wristwatch and make sure that it is not effected by this virus.

How could you be unprepared for this?

[dieselpawn]

I'm IT Support for 300+ users. Took the 10 minutes to setup the MS patch and deploy for all users. Double checked we are following good practices on our local firewall. Symantec console (garbage) reports 0 incidents so far. Moral? 10 minutes of preparation saves hours.

Re:How could you be unprepared for this?

[gurutc]

In our shop it is also clear how easy the preparation is. The real issue is getting the suits to cut through the memo bs that's a prereq for everything in order to put in the fixes.

Most reports are fake...

[Lumpy]

I loved this one....

Banking officials there reportedly said the Microsoft Windows-based based bank system began disbursing the bills after a local prankster crammed an infected USB stick into the maw of the teller machine.

If your ATM's have usb slots, your bankers need to be killed right now in a giant pyre in the streets.

And can anyone tell me where the MAW of my laptop is?

Re:Most reports are fake...

[Bruiser80]

Not only do they have USB slots, they're located inside the money dispensing slot. Awesome! Maybe I can get it to run my bootable usb key. :-)

Suckers... Thank you UNIX!

[Anonymous Coward]

All you suckers with WINDOWS.... dont you just love open source OSs? they dont suffer all of the stupidity that windows does!

Meanwhile, on Craigslist...

[spywhere]

Someone actually shipped a car that was exactly as advertised, and a massage didn't have a happy ending.

Conficker suspected

[mseeger]

My PC became sentient today and filed a Cease and Decist against me rebooting it...

Happened to me too!

[anexkahn]

My car turned into a giant robot and ran away!!!

infected systems

[chappel]

I heard the conficker virus causes your system to put up first posts on /.

oh crap...

My Probs

[tripdizzle]

I must be infected. My XP machine is telling me I may be a victim of software counterfeiting.

Re:My Probs

[rgo]

That's the Conficker Geniune Advantage program prompt!

RTA : April Fools

[Davemania]

If it is obvious enough, read the article, specifically the last few lines. For those that are hiding in their bomb shelters

Finally!

[Anonymous Coward]

From the article:

In Waukesha, Wis., Leroy "Mac" MacElrie, 64, turned himself in to local police, claiming he was the author of the original Conficker worm, and that all of the subsequent versions were mere copycats. According to charging documents, MacElrie said he wrote the worm to get back at Microsoft founder Bill Gates for "not stopping spam by 2008 like he said he would." The man was released on his own recognizance, but several hours later a local television station captured footage of the man standing on a nearby street corner repeatedly shouting "I'm the confickter!"

I knew we would get rid of that reputation as "The land of cow shit and beer farts" some way.

In more news

[Bearhouse]

The worm infected international banking systems, zeroed all overdrafts for people with a net worth less than 250K USD by netting the amounts against accounts owned by people such as Bill Gates, AIG and banking bonus-receipiants and others. It simultaneously wiped out national debts of the USA and other countries by netting against Chinese and Arab nation sovereign wealth funds.

Wealth previously locked up in secret bank accounts in Switzerland and elsewhere was transferred 50% to GM and other struggling companies, 50% to charities involved in fighting poverty, famine and disease in LDCs.

Unconfirmed reports were received of nuclear facilties in North Korea, Iran, Pakistan and elsewhere 'melting down harmlessly towards the earth's core'...

Damn, wish that was not an April Fool...

Does anybody have any actual news about Conficker?

[SleepyHappyDoc]

April Fool's is fun and all, but I'd really like to know if anything happened.

Wow, I just asked for a dupe, didn't I?

*sigh*

[Mantrid]

I forgot today was don't-bother-going-on-the-internet-day!

Though come to think of it; it's Zero Punctuation day, on April Fool's day. Wonder if we'll get something fun!

Re:*sigh*

[mjwx]

Though come to think of it; it's Zero Punctuation day on April Fool's day

ummm... right. Yahtzee lives in Australia.

April 1st was yesterday over here.

Awwwww

[Oldyeller89]

Read the article, its all a lie! :(

100 Krona notes

[Anonymous Coward]

We don't even have 100 krona notes in iceland, we used to have those but they were worth like half a euro, now we just have 100 krona coins and the old notes are somewhat of a novelty item.

Wait, so there's no conficker?

[Scutter]

I spent all that time patching systems for nothing?!

Re:Wait, so there's no conficker?

[Tarmus]

That's what a co-worker is saying. Supposedly we don't get paid for "falling for an April Fools Prank" when we came in double checked several systems last night.

It's an April Fool's Joke

[dcollins]

From the original article:

In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/securityfix/2009/04/conficker_worm_strikes_militar.html?wprss=securityfix

My Arm...

[Sir Isaac1]

My mechanical arm stopped working, now I have to type with my nose, and I have a cold!

100 ISK are not notes

[heidaro]

100 ISK are coins now, not notes. It has been that way for quite a few years but the notes were changed out for coins.

/whine about level 80 achievement

[Myria]

The fields to enter in your WoW character are rather buggy. I had to try a bunch of times in order to get it to recognize my WoW character.

Also, my original Slashdot account was 5 digits; I changed it for personal reasons several years ago but now I don't get that achievement.

Oh well - at least I now have the April Fools post achievement... >_<

Re:/whine about level 80 achievement

[Anonymous Coward]

If one WoW character doesn't work, just spend the 3 hrs or however long it takes to level from 1-80 and try again.

Re:/whine about level 80 achievement

[dknight]

hey, I want an april fools achievement too!
*pouts and makes a sad face*

Re:/whine about level 80 achievement

[A. B3ttik]

Don't post just for the achievement.

Re:/whine about level 80 achievement

[BertieBaggio]

Yes, that would be silly.

Re:/whine about level 80 achievement

[anomnomnomymous]

Ahyes, good reminder: Achievement Unlocked with this then I guess.

zomg

[cptnapalm]

zOMGW0rMz!!1!!

Try 1000 Kr notes

[publicworker]

April Fools funsies aside, there are no 100 kr. notes in Iceland. 100 krona is a coin with the smallest bill being 500 kr.

/etc

[andrikos]

Help!!
Many of my files in /etc have a .conf extension! It must be conficker to blame!

Re:/etc

[rts008]

You are SO screwed, man. Not only are those ConFlicker files stashed in /etc, but they are scattered all over the place!
I gave up trying to find and delete all of them, there were just too many.
I heard of a quick easy way though...it's a scanner for *nix, I think.

*opens Konsole, types in 'rm -rf'*

Re:/etc

[Zoxed]

> Many of my files in /etc have a .conf extension! It must be conficker to blame!

If you have a /etc directory that means you have a UNIX type system. These are much easier to disinfect than those Windows boxes. No special tool required. Start an Xterm and type:

find /etc -name '*.conf' -exec rm {} \;

And you are sorted :-)

Note to children: do not try this at home without a responsible adult present (i.e. one who understand *NIXes :-)

All my base...

[Anonymous Coward]

...are belong to Conficker!! *runs*

Greetings Professor Falken...

[captjc]

Would you like to play a game. The Only Winning move is not to play.

New report

[danwesnor]

I'm seeing it load a bunch of lame April Fool's messages onto Slashdot.

April fools

[jonnythan]

If this is the April Fools thread, then Achievements are not? Hmm.

Tremendous Story

[Nieriko]

Who submitted this 'great' story for the day?. Kudos to her/him. I remember I was thinking about submitting it but then something happened...

Well I guess I will have better luck next time.

The ultimate cover for a botnet?

[British]

Perhaps the Conficker author figured the best time to strike would be on April fool's since nobody could tell the real stories from the prank ones. Yep, the results of the virus are stealthed further by a stupid holiday.

9 years ago, a great virus strike date would have been on Y2K, provided the assumption the infected computers wouldn't fail naturally from a Y2K flaw. "nah it's not a virus infection, it's just y2k all sorts of weird stuff is going on."

Just like how Christmas is a great time to rob banks dressed like Santa Claus. Plenty of decoys running around.

I'll second that.

[Anonymous Coward]

I came here looking for Conficker information and I get this crap. I guess that I'll check The Register next.

Hahaha - slashdot is completely worthless on April 1st, what an awesome joke. Good job.

Ridicule it.

[||Deech||]

what? RUN!

If we can't stop it, just ridicule it. I say we call it "Cornflaker" from now on.

Benefit

[Demonantis]

At least all the hoaxes might get Sys Admins interested/scared into checking their systems for the virus and applying updates. I think this is probably the most beneficial publicity to stopping the worm has got so far.

Y2K called...

[rgo]

It wants the millenium bug back.

ATMs

[e_chiappone]

It would be interesting if ATMs started spewing out money...mass chaos, grandmas beating people with umbrellas, cats and dogs falling from the sky.

w00t! April Fools!

[Wiplash07]

W00t! I kind of figured this was going to be the April Fools joke since everyone is so worked up about the worm. Time to go see what April Fools jokes all of my other favorite websites are pulling.

You laugh...

[BlitzTech]

but my intertubes were especially clogged this morning. This, of course, led to a mass panic in my office where everyone simultaneously thought the Wrath of the Conficker had bestruck our network and that I needed to fix it, since I'm the "IT guy".

Of course, now that the issue seems to have resolved itself, I'm a hero. Thanks, Conficker!

Anonymous Coward

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sure its been said already, but can we stop with these April fools day stories. Your wasting my precious time wasting time at work. Jeez!

Can we cut down on the weak humor attempts?

[kaizendojo]

If I wanted crappy attempts at lame April Fools jokes, I would have subscribed to Comedy Central's RSS instead of /.

Windows in a nuclear installation God help us all

[Anonymous Coward]

Cornflicker the grandpa of sky net showed up today.
And tried to launch

  Blue screen of DEATH .

usually

[Anonymous Coward]

huh, usually I'm the one that has to spew benjamins to get an ATM.

It Infected My Company's IT Department....

[MuChild]

....it made them stay at work late into the night last night freaking out and running around. It also made my Inbox swell with useless warnings about how to surf the net safelyl

is...

[Linuss]

this achievement stuff for real?

Also do nuclear facilities really run windows on their machines? that seems fucking ridiculous for some reason...

Re:is...

[Chlorine Trifluoride]

Of course they do. Linux is simply not ready to be used in any systems beyond some smelly nerd's computer.

lol flamebait

Gaypril Fools!

[Alari]

Gaypril Fools! LAWL!!!!!11ONE. Aren't these stupid jokes SO AWESOME?

SNAFU

[necrognome]

I woke up in the metaverse today.

aprilfools tag...

[mnslinky]

The tag gives it away. Too bad.

Re:aprilfools tag...

[Fox_1]

yeah but now we know where to post to get the achievement.

Conficker DLC

[senorpoco]

New features include Global Thermonuclear War.

Conficker Worm

[JoelG]

The stinking worm formatted my Windows Vista PC and installed Ubuntu Linux! Darn you!!!!

Source is April fool's article

[ToNoTo13]

Read the source document and you'll see this is all an April fools prank. Check sources before spouting ignorance.

More reports.

[HideyoshiJP]

In addition to the previously mentioned incidents, Conficker managed to take down icanhascheezburger.com via DDoS attack. Employee productivity quickly upshifted in many organizations, as they now had nothing to do but work.

Devil's night

[NicknamesAreStupid]

This will probably become the Internet version of Devil's night, the infamous night before Halloween. While the worm may have limited technical impact (who really knows), it could become the cover for a world of unrelated technocrime.

RTFA

[Gription]

Read the end of the article...
April Fools...

Re:RTFA

[catman]

You must be new here ...

Conficker is alive

[Anonymous Showered]

So far, I've received 2 phone calls today from clients who's laptops are infected with several viruses/malwares. Could be just a coincidence...

Work went offline

[Ceiynt]

My workplace went offline for about 4 hours, turns out they forgot to turn the server back on.

I feel I'm missing out...

[thomasdz]

Can someone point me to some web site that will infect me? I feel that I'm missing out since I keep myself fully up-to-date with patches and run the latest anti-virus.
Thanks

Conficker conspiracy

[plover]

Actually, this article is just a part of the conspiracy. Conficker was designed to pull the trigger on April 1st just so the techie Slashdot readership would be lulled into reading a bunch of crap stories and ignore the real effects of conficker.

I think the authors of the worm hope the world is so busy chasing down April Fool's stupidity (like the mythical affected ATMs) that they won't have time to notice or stop the worm's real destructive effects.

Re:Conficker conspiracy

[buynlarge]

The media hype was probably started by Microsoft so people would freak out and go to Windows Update for which they released a new version of a couple weeks ago with enhanced WGA support.

It's pronounced...

[strawberryutopia]

Nyuu-cyuu-lar

Would Be Funny

[Anonymous Coward]

This would be funny - if not for the fact that jokes like this make people take real news less seriously...

Of course, if we would bother to actually RTFA, we'd know it's a joke, so there!

China Invades Anchorage, Alaska!

[relguj9]

Operation liberation of Anchorage, Alaska engage!

Better dead than red!

Leroy "Mac" MacElrie

[Anonymous Coward]

He is Conficker. He is the Laughing Man. Serano Genomics is doomed.

who wrote this???

[Anonymous Coward]

from the conspiracy theorists... I hear that this was written and published by Microsoft in order to disable any non-registered versions of XP.

This is also why it took them 3 versions to work the bugs out... and it still wasn't quite right.

What kind of idiot...?

[mcrbids]

What kind of idiot builds an ATM machine, to be used by the public, with publicly accessible USB ports?

Perhaps it would be more obvious to simply leave the cash in a basket outside and work on the honor system?

The Real Problem (not the worm)

[docmur]

Were missing the point here, the point that this worm can do damage is completely based on the fact people run an operating system with serious flaws. How many Unix / Linux boxes are at threat here, my guess is none. If people are so scared that this worm might do damage then switch to an OS that doesn't try to catch up it's security, but rather has it in place. If people want to complain and make a big deal they don't have marret, if you run a system like Windows that has these kind of problems, deal with it. If you run a real OS like *Nix then you don't have to worry. It's a simple problem with a classic solution, get rid of the feeble (Windows) and install the mighty (*Nix). So all you on your Crapows boxes just go and dig your head in the sands well the real computer users among us will actually just laugh at you because you choose to allow the problem to continue.

Anonymous Coward

[Anonymous Coward]

Would have been more effective if the poster would have known that Iceland stopped using 100 krona notes a long time ago. Now its only 100 krona coins ... Now if the poster really wanted bizarre, an ATM spewing out 100 krona COINS would have been amazing.

yeah

[manitee]

zzzz

anyone actually have any news?

fox

[h2sammo]

i actually like judge napolitano's internet show, hosted by fox.

Conficker Legalized Marijuana!

[Innovative1]

Holy crap..who knew that it would be used to pass legislation that would stop wasting our tax dollars on non-violent drug offenders?? YAY CONFICKER!!!

Oh nos!

[Anonymous Coward]

01000011 01101111 01101110 01100110 01101100 01101001 01100011 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101011 01100101 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100101 01111000 01100011 01100101 01110000 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01111010 01100101 01110010 01101111

Right...

[KasperMeerts]

Nobody actually thought Conficker would be able to cause a nuclear war, right?
America might have done some dumb things in the past, but I'm pretty sure they're nuclear arsenal is secure enough.

Hackers...

[Anonymous Coward]

Joey! Everyone knows its universally stupid to hack across state lines!

The article quoted is a prank.

[triceice]

"In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first."

Virus Alert!

[Locke2005]

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
Really wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
If you should get an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese'
Better not go taking your chances
Under no circumstances, should you open it
Or else it will
Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record "Gigli"
Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze Look out!
Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs Look out!
Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney
Then, it will tie up your phone, making crank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will
Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to Reggie,
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool Look out!
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull Look out!
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep Look out!
And make you physically attracted to sheep Look out!
Steal your identity and your credit cards Look out!
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards Look out!
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right it's a... Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online! Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit send right now!

Achievements

[Bobfrankly1]

This post is to see if I can get an achievement for spending all my mod points in one topic, and then piss them away by posting in the topic. Mod me +5 Funny so I can get multiple achivement off of one post. Or Troll, whichever you feel like...

Real or Fake? You decide...

[yakatz]

The timing of this is perfect, it will be hard to tell real stories from April Fools stories even if the stories claim to be 100% real! Other than that, this is the perfect excuse for anything to stop working today, just blame it on the worm.

FML

[ritcereal]

Conficker told my GF to dump me.

What's this "conservative" myth I'm hearing about?

[Anonymous Coward]

I keep hearing about these myths, particulary one of being "conservative" as opposed to liberal, and I can't quite figure out what it's pertaining towards. There is so much manufactured evidence that to me the truth of an actual conservative and an actual liberal is more non-competitive to oneanother. I expect them to be not speculation of fact, neither misrepresentation, but methods to exploit investments. All this nonsense I've seen is from the same creature. There'll be a new dictionary targeted eventualy, perhaps pitting the amoral "psyche" to the immoral "mind" on why one or the other causes baby Satan to cry when Dr. Jesus cuts the embilical chord to the church, but what does any of these talking heads have to do with their perspective other than self-witnessing themselves to an allignment of philosophy neither have achieved through the counter-producted stages of arguing and absorbing listeners without any actual perfected interest in the alleged argument?

Look at me, I'm a courageous Diplomat of Kraft Foods and I support balanced nutrition. DON'T LOOK AT THE INGREDIENTS LABEL UNTIL YOU HAVE ACHIEVED A DOCTORAL IN JUNK FOOD SCIENCE ADVERTISING LIKE ME! This declaration has not been evaluated by the FDA of Ohio and is not legal advice until you sign on the dotted line forfeiting us of any fiductiary responsibility by the FDA transfering your property to a corporation we created called FDA. Thanks for shopping, and stay away from unprocessed cow milk and raw goat milk (it realy doesn't fix your digestion problems, because we say so).

Not the Year Of Linux on the Desktop

[rts008]

I guess I'm going to make an partition on my HDD and install XP, 'cause I never get RickRolled anymore. I have to RickRoll myself.

And no, ConFlicker will not run on WINE...I've tried! Stupid Linux! ;-)

meh

[Bill Wong]

the first blurb was sorta believeable, then it went downhill from there..
(posting this just to get the achievement..)

This is why dweebs should be rounded up

[Buscape]

and thrown in the clink.

April Fool's Worm?

[Anonymous Coward]

Y'know, maybe the worm reports are just an April Fool's Day joke, albeit a very grandiose one. A joke like that reported as serious news on TV has the potential to spawn all kinds of pandemonium amongst Win$low$ "users".

Re:April Fool's Worm?

[shentino]

Maybe it should?

What portion of cracked boxes are Windows boxes?

And how does that compare relative to market share?

If 99 percent of cracked boxen are windows, yet boxen in general are only 90 percent windows, then a given windows boxes are 10 times more likely to be cracked than the others.

If america wasn't so damned litigious against benevolent mavericks, I would be happy to release a benign worm that screams at the user to get their damn box patched. Except that it could be piggybacked upon by a malicious worm.

It was choice.

[hldn]

I was playing around in this system last night, throwing commands at it, no idea where it is or what it does. So I finally figure it out: it's a bank. And it's choice, I mean...and the next day, I read the paper, and read about how some ATM in Bumfuck, Iceland spits 700 Krona into the middle of the street. That was me.

Last Post.

[Anonymous Coward]

Last Post!

Real Last Post!

[ampmouse]

Ha AC! Beat You!

Worm Strike

[Anonymous Coward]

I will avoid raw pork! Thanks for the warning!

The Krona Spewing ATM

[Ensign_Expendable]

"Maximum Overdrive," anyone

Re:What's this "conservative" myth I'm hearing abo

[Nefarious Wheel]

I keep hearing about these myths, particulary one of being...

I'm not sure if you got that post from RACTER or an inspired re-reading of the Peppermint Oil Soap label.

I am impressed, though possibly not in the way you intended.

It's just confusion between definitions...

[Anonymous Coward]

An elite is someone who is better than everyone else. (and really is, not just someone who thinks they are)

Elitism is the idea that only those who are better than everyone else should get to have a say in how things are done. ...and it has a component of "assholes like that always think they're better than everyone else" to it.

So the answer to your question is that obama is an elite, and mccain is an elitist, and yes we do want elites running the country, but we do not want elitist running the country.

So, basically, the whole problem was simply people assuming they can judge the meaning of words simply by hearing them. Let that be a lesson to you: Never use a word without looking it up first.

are you aware that the incidents are 1/April joke?

[zukinux]

"The following was written in the spirit of April Fool's Day. Brian is following the story and if there are real reports of outbreak, he'll report them in a separate post."

It's actually written in title, and still get's too much focus like those event's are real (although, they could occur, but there's a need to tell the people who read this that the whole post is a April fools joke.