Slashdot Mirror

http://www.satirewire.com/news/aug02/encryption.sh tml

Nuff said.

I hear most of it is going to Ellison's own Diplomas are for losers campaign.

Australia seems to move around OK - http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.sht ml

Better idea -- send them to Silicon Pines

the responses reminded me a lot of the interview on satirewire with Ask Jeeves. Pretty comical stuff

linky

/no HTML skills

Wow, you just totally ripped off someone else's work and tried to pass it off as your own. Unbelievable.

Your "post" was originally written at SatireWire where it is copyrighted.

Wow, you just totally ripped off someone else's work and tried to pass it off as your own. Unbelievable.

Your "post" was originally written at SatireWire where it is copyrighted.

They've been using Humans and rats

In response, Canada sends its most powerful warship...

What! Canada has a warship?

In response, Canada sends its most powerful warship...

What! Canada has a warship?

All that data is just a coincidence.

For some reason, this all reminds me of the Satirewire classic article on Cisco.

Study Finds Women Who Drink Way More Fun To Study

This really reminds me of this article

As Ellison said to grads

hmmm... losers eh?

I've heard rumours that Canada also has a warship. I think it's beaver-powered with maple syrup in the hydraulics systems.

Y'know, several years ago I read an article making a similar point, except it was a joke:

MICROSOFT SAYS RIVAL LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP NOW.

Seriously, I think this guys has his head up his ass. He manages to point out some of Linux's weaknesses, but he doesn't offer any justification for making the leap between "these are some problems facing Linux" and "these problems cannot or will not ever be fixed." But I'm guessing he's not being paid to be right so much as he's being paid to attract attention.

this guy did, once.

Q: So, Jeeves, what is it like being hooked into the internet?

A: Beekeeping in New Zealand.

Fucker can buy a lot of bees for 2 Billion.

The Arctic ocean around the north pole is international "waters"

Not by Canada.

"Mom, I don't know what 'thingy' you are talking about or how you broke it in the first place!"

Oh, I share your pain.
Find relief the same way I did... Silicon Pines. ;)

For some reason, whenever I read about massive layoffs, it reminds me of this article .

Wait, Canada has a warship?

Its a shame this won't be updated for MSN :(

http://www.satirewire.com/features/satire-jeevesin terview.shtml

Reminds me vaguely of this.

For a taste:

"US Suspects World not putting US Interests first"

Whitehouse evidence

International politicians and the media have blasted the U.S. for abandoning the Kyoto global warming treaty, despite the fact that the U.S. has explained the treaty would not be good for the U.S. economy."

Jedidiah.

Yes, Canada is already in an Axis.

true

The Daily Show's top priority is to be funny, and if their facts aren't 100% accurate, it's not funny.

Yes, I read this and for a moment had a flashback, and thought Satire Wire was back up again...

Well it did happen to Australia

Satirewire.com "interviewed" Jeeves a while back. The results are nothing short of hilarious.

As this article from Satire Wire shows, spam can be a work of art or literature.

As this article from Satire Wire shows, spam can be a work of art or literature.

To steal/paraphrase from SatireWire:

"In other news, lung cancer to change its name to 'Spam' to capitalize on the brand recognition and instant hatred it inspires."

North America has Lake Michigan

It looks like we're back to the era of Internet company shenanigans.

10 bonus karma points for the first person to write a worm that exploits a vulnerability in Microsoft's AV software!

MS beat us to it. It's called Outlook.

Thats ok, it was furnished by ikea.

No, that was furnished by SatireWire.

Ah, you really have to include the link to the whole thing; its hysterical.

It's The 23rd Spam and the link is here

For those of you that don't know how ICANN operates, here is a transcript of one of their meetings. It's really eye opening.

...Till you realize it's a satire.

And that is exactly what this is.

For more satirical fun, go to SatireWire

http://satirewire.com/news/0011/nader_wins.shtml

In a follow-up to this story, after Gator announced it will change its name to Claria, Spyware changed its name to Gator citing brand recognition and popularity as primary reasons....

Reminds me of this: Satire Wire

The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents

Yes, it's true. SURVEY: MAJORITY OF WEB USERS ARE FBI AGENTS POSING AS TEENAGE GIRLS

It's amazing what people do come up with to get an excuse for drinking beer.

This might knock you off of a barstool: STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

You're kidding, right? Canada has a department of defence?

The question is who took it away - we used to have an effective military.

Yup. 228 years ago, they beat back Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold, killing Montgomery and wounding Arnold in the process.

And more recently, the Canadians have been a staunch US ally. ;-)

"The 23rd Spam" by Sam the Psalmist,Toronto, Ontario
(real name withheld by request)

The 23rd Spam

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters,
He restoreth my credit and consolidateth my debts,
For as little as $1,750,
If I act now.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me,
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
And can now be 50 Percent Larger in Three Weeks.
Guaranteed.

Thou preparest a table before me
In the presence of mine enemies,
Thou annointest my head with oil,
My cup runneth over.
But as an added bonus,
I will receive $1,000.00 cash,
If I complete thy online registration form today.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell forever,
In the House of the Lord,
Which I shall refinanceth,
To take advantage,
Of the lowest mortgage rates in years.