Slashdot Mirror


Judge Decides X-Men Aren't Human

An anonymous reader points to this Wall Street Journal article, writing "According to the U.S. Court of International Trade, the X-Men (along with other figures from the Marvel universe) aren't human. The presiding judge subjected the figures to "comprehensive examinations" which included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure." Ironically, the X-Men, whose struggle for human acceptance has been a key theme in the series, were more easily classified as non-human than Kraven and Mole Man.

443 comments

  1. On MLK day... by Drunken_Jackass · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can't we all just get along?

    --
    There are 01 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and me.
    1. Re:On MLK day... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      On MLK day... Can't we all just get along?

      This actually is funny, in the context of the article: Martin Luther King stood for treating all persons, regardless of their appearance, as equally human.

      If we may presume on the memory of this this great civil rights leader (and hopefully without appearing to trivialize that memory), were Martin Luther King to have been transported into the world of the X-Men, would he not have demanded that the X-men too be judged not by the color (or form) of their mutations, but by the content of their character?

      (Posting anonymously because I've just modded the parent up. Not mentioning who I really am so as not to appear to be asking for a quid pro quo.)

    2. Re:On MLK day... by Kadagan+AU · · Score: 1

      Interesting how your sig and your post work together to create a generally loving environment.

      Can't we all just get along?
      --
      "Hey, I'm just doing my job. You give me juris-my-diction crap, you can cram it up your ass."

      --
      This space for rent, inquire within.
  2. SNIKT! by johnny_4_president · · Score: 0

    humans are overrated, bub.

    --
    disponibile
  3. X-Men lose their rights by sperris · · Score: 0

    I for one would hate to see them lose their voting rights over this. I mean, how do they get driver's licenses now? How is this going to affect the next movie?

    Will someone please think of the children?

    1. Re:X-Men lose their rights by MonTemplar · · Score: 2, Funny

      Will someone please think of the children?

      I'm pretty sure that both Rachel and Nathan (Cable) are old enough to be able to look after themselves now, don't you think? :)

      --
      -MT.
    2. Re:X-Men lose their rights by ryochiji · · Score: 0, Redundant
      From the article:
      Marvel subsidiary Toy Biz Inc. pushed Judge Barzilay to declare its heroes nonhuman

      Ironic, isn't it? The creators (well, sort of) asked them to be classified as non-humans to lower tariffs on imported plastic figures, yet in the actual stories they strive for acceptance.

      The score: Capitalism: 1, acceptance of mutants: nil.

    3. Re:X-Men lose their rights by Forgotten · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The irony was in demonstrating that you can push and lobby a federal judge into affirming any damn thing you like...

      ...but not until a couple of years after it ceases to matter.

      Thus the system is corrupt, but so slow that it's all fair in the end. Didn't Frank Herbert foresee this with the Bureau of Sabotage?

    4. Re:X-Men lose their rights by unitron · · Score: 2, Insightful
      And if the money situation had been reversed the subsidiary and the government would have each argued the opposite of what they did.

      They are what they always were, merchandise.

      Of course 40 years ago I had a slightly different view whilst putting my paper route profits into Stan Lee's pocket.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    5. Re:X-Men lose their rights by Keith_Beef · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The point is, that it has not "ceased to matter". Read the article, and you will see that the toy company is seeking refund of paid import duty... no doubt with interest. And no doubt with legal costs.

      The American public is ultimately going to lose out. If you bought one of these X-Men figures during the period in question, you paid the higher duty on it. Now,
      Toy Biz is going to get back some of that duty... from the government; ergo, from the taxpayers.
      You get screwed twice.

    6. Re:X-Men lose their rights by Hognoxious · · Score: 2, Insightful
      The creators (well, sort of) asked them to be classified as non-humans to lower tariffs on imported plastic figures, yet in the actual stories they strive for acceptance.
      But if they were human, they wouldn't need to strive for it, would they?
      Plus the stories are only pretend.
      I did wonder if it was the best use of the court's time, till I read down and saw the real reason - the usual one of course. It's not the first anomaly of this kind though. In the UK, chocolate biscuits used to be taxed higher than uncoated ones (or ones with imitation chocolate coating). In France, beer of 7% alcohol is taxed higher than wine of 10% strength to discourage alcoholism.
      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  4. Re:3rd post by thr0d+ps1t · · Score: 0

    I am teh faily00r! :( :(

  5. Non human? by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    Soooo... am I demented for wanting to bed Rebecca Romijn-Stamos?

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Non human? by Crazy+Man+on+Fire · · Score: 1

      and did the Judge need to perform a "comprehensive examination" of her including removing her clothes?

    2. Re:Non human? by nucal · · Score: 5, Insightful
      and did the Judge need to perform a "comprehensive examination" of her including removing her clothes?

      I think that Ken and Barbie would be non-human by this criterion ...

    3. Re:Non human? by u-235-sentinel · · Score: 1

      Don't knock it. They are the experts in what is not human. Just look at the Judge Judith and you'll understand.

      The fact that it reduced tariffs from China had nothing to do with it. Honest :-)

      --
      Has Comcast disconnected your Internet account? Same here. You can read about it at http://comcastissue.blogspot.com
    4. Re:Non human? by Crazy+Man+on+Fire · · Score: 5, Funny

      I agree. Especially because the Judge cited, several times, the abnormal proportions (large muscles, etc) of the figures in declaring them non-human. Barbie has pretty inhuman proportions as well...

    5. Re:Non human? by Vardamir · · Score: 3, Informative

      Actually, according to something a professor told our class, men stand a 1/50 chance of having features as good as Ken's, while women stand a 1/100,000 chance of having features as good a Barbie. So, not impossible really.

    6. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Barbie has pretty inhuman proportions as well...

      You say that like it's a bad thing...

    7. Re:Non human? by brysnot · · Score: 5, Funny

      only demented in thinking that you could

    8. Re:Non human? by outsider007 · · Score: 1

      No, last time I checked having genitalia was not exclusively human.

      --
      If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
    9. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Depends whether you want her to be wearing a head-to-toe blue latex suit throughout.

      Nonhumans are ok, but you rubber fetishists sicken me...

    10. Re:Non human? by Cruciform · · Score: 1

      Woohoo! Now I can use the beer belly defense to affirm my humanity!

    11. Re:Non human? by Ford+Fulkerson · · Score: 4, Funny

      Actually, according to something a professor told our class, men stand a 1/50 chance of having features as good as Ken's, while women stand a 1/100,000 chance of having features as good a Barbie.

      Yeah, but remember that 76% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

      --

      Somewhere in the heavens... they are waiting.
    12. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      76%!? You're numbers are wrong my friend, more like 82% (with an error of +/- 3%)

    13. Re:Non human? by allenw · · Score: 1

      Given how many managers I've seen that seem to lack balls, I'd say that ratio was way too low. [Of course, I don't most of us would consider this a 'good' feature. Hmm...]

    14. Re:Non human? by lostchicken · · Score: 2, Funny

      Why do I have the feeling that you'd rather use the humanity defense to justify your beer belly?

      --
      -twb
    15. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah, either that or the Bush Administration can cite that beer-belly as the reason you aren't human. Then ship you down to Guantanamo (sp?) Bay and hold you without charges, trial, or a lawyer.

    16. Re:Non human? by RevDobbs · · Score: 1
      Yeah, but remember that 76% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

      No, someone told me it was 94.6%...

      oh, bother.

    17. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I know you're trying to be funny, but...

      It is a bad thing. It's part of what conditions girls (& boys) to think that body type is attainable, and even normal.

    18. Re:Non human? by MrGeetee · · Score: 1
      It's part of what conditions girls (& boys) to think that body type is attainable, and even normal.

      Any ideas of what body shape is supposed to look like predate Barbie by a couple of centuries actually.

      The corset has been worn since Neolithic times when women wore laced bodices made of animal hides. Though perhaps the most extreme corset-wearing dates from the French court in the 16th century. The corset was an indicator of the wearer's social standing and no lady-in-waiting was allowed a waist larger than 13 inches.

      As an addendum, Victorian doctors even considered corsetry as a necessity for 'holding up' fragile women

      So as much as I'd like to blame Barbie ( and the heroin addict look seen across high fashion during the past 20 years or so ) for influencing body shape, the problem is a social one that runs much deeper

      --
      Your mouse has moved. Please wait while Windows restarts for the change to take effect.
    19. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I thought that was 86%?

    20. Re:Non human? by jldrew · · Score: 1

      you know,... 'cause it's not a bad thing. Barbie is totally hot.

    21. Re:Non human? by MikeDX · · Score: 1

      I think that Ken and Barbie would be non-human by this criterion ...

      I agree, did you ever notice that Barbie never came with Ken? ;)

    22. Re:Non human? by Xaoswolf · · Score: 1

      Dude, do you really wan't Uncle Jessie's sloppy seconds???

    23. Re:Non human? by hedgefrog · · Score: 1

      Of course, everyone knows she comes with GI Joe; she only fakes it with Ken

      --

      I lost my copy of the green golf ball joke can anyone find it for me?
    24. Re:Non human? by suman28 · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but how many of the people deciding this women? Who set the wearer's social standing rules? The answer is men.

    25. Re:Non human? by MrGeetee · · Score: 1

      I'm sorry, I didn't realise any 16th century French courtiers posted here.

      I humbly apologise and stand corrected by your first hand knowledge of the inner workings of early French nobility.

      So I may learn more of this phenomenon whereby men utterly controlled the thoughts of women, I wonder if you could provide me with some reading material on the subject?

      --
      Your mouse has moved. Please wait while Windows restarts for the change to take effect.
    26. Re:Non human? by kelnos · · Score: 1
      men stand a 1/50 chance of having features as good as Ken's
      does this mean that men have a 1/50 chance of having no penis?
      --
      Xfce: Lighter than some, heavier than others. Just right.
    27. Re:Non human? by Cruciform · · Score: 1

      I suppose they could, but they'd have to invade first.

    28. Re:Non human? by DigitalAdrenaline · · Score: 1

      Actually my wife (when she was younger) had the same proportional measurements as Barbie except height. They aren't hopelessly out of proportion.

    29. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" -Homer S.

      NOOOO STUPID. THAT QUOTE WAS FROM RALPH. IDIOT!!!

      Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
      Reason: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.

    30. Re:Non human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hmmm... How old did you say your daughter is now?

      -smirk-

  6. Dolls?!? by Kyn · · Score: 5, Funny

    The judge is right! The X-men are not dolls. Boys don't play with dolls. They're action figures! Dolls are wussy, action figures are manly! And don't you forget that.

    1. Re:Dolls?!? by Monkey-Man2000 · · Score: 5, Funny

      They're not dolls or action figures. They're aspiration figures.

      --
      This post was generated by a Cadre of Uber Monkeys for Monkey-Man2000 (603495).
    2. Re:Dolls?!? by Jeff+Binder · · Score: 1

      Daddy, daddy? Can I get the new Malibu Stacy doll? It has an achievable chest!

    3. Re:Dolls?!? by neafevoc · · Score: 1

      And remember!

      "If you run with them, they're action figures."
      -- Jack from Jack in the Box

    4. Re:Dolls?!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I sure hope they're NOT - otherwise we're ending up with a whole generation of guys who think their ultimate end is to be strong and blow stuff up and women who think they need to look gorgeous 24/7 while holding down a job AND maintaining a household.

      Oh wait...

    5. Re:Dolls?!? by phelddagrif · · Score: 1

      Barbie and ken can very easily become 'action' figures if used properly.

  7. Sounds like a typical /.er by core+plexus · · Score: 5, Funny
    Disclaimer: The following post contains humor.

    From the article: "The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground." Ok, all you guys sitting there in your parents basement, are you more mole than human?

    Also from the article: "In her chambers at the U.S. Court of International Trade, in New York, the judge examined Prof. X and the rest of his band of X-Men, all of them little plastic figures " 'Nuff said.

    Pigs might fly, but don't make breast landing Weird News

  8. Article Text by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

    Fans Howl in Protest as Judge
    Decides X-Men Aren't Human

    Marvel Fought to Have Characters Ruled
    Nonhuman to Win Lower Tariff on Toys
    By NEIL KING JR.
    Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

    Judge Judith Barzilay huddled late last year with a telepathic professor and a cast of mutants to ponder an age-old question: What does it mean to be human?

    In her chambers at the U.S. Court of International Trade, in New York, the judge examined Prof. X and the rest of his band of X-Men, all of them little plastic figures at the heart of a six-year tariff battle between their owner, Marvel Enterprises Inc., and the U.S. Customs Service.

    Her ruling thundered through the world of Marvel Comics fans. The famed X-Men, those fighters of prejudice sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are not human, she decreed Jan. 3. Nor are many of the villains who do battle with Spiderman and the Fantastic Four. They're all "nonhuman creatures," concluded Judge Barzilay.

    Marvel subsidiary Toy Biz Inc. pushed Judge Barzilay to declare its heroes nonhuman so it could win a lower duty rate on action figures imported from China in the mid-1990s. At the time, tariffs put higher duties on dolls than toys. According to the U.S. tariff code, human figures are dolls, while figures representing animals or "creatures," such as monsters and robots, are deemed toys.

    To Brian Wilkinson, editor of the online site X-Fan (x-mencomics.com/xfan/1), Marvel's argument is appalling. The X-Men -- mere creatures? "This is almost unthinkable," he says. "Marvel's super heroes are supposed to be as human as you or I. They live in New York. They have families and go to work. And now they're no longer human?"

    Chuck Austen, current author of Marvel's "Uncanny X-Men" comic-book series, is also incredulous. He has worked hard for a year, he says, to emphasize the X-Men's humanity, to show "that they're just another strand in the evolutionary chain."

    Marvel issued this statement: "Don't fret, Marvel fans, our heroes are living, breathing human beings -- but humans who have extraordinary abilities ... . A decision that the X-Men figures indeed do have 'nonhuman' characteristics further proves our characters have special, out-of-this world powers."

    The X-Men series broke new ground when it began in 1963 by confronting racism and intolerance head-on. The good-hearted mutants rallied around their mentor, the wheelchair-bound Prof. Charles Xavier, to protect mankind, even as humans shunned and despised them.

    In 1996, Toy Biz sued Customs in the Court of International Trade, which arbitrates foreign-trade disputes between U.S. companies and the government. Toy Biz said its pantheon of action figures should be classified as toys instead of dolls. Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories.

    Thus began the great debate over the figures' true being. Barbie is a doll. Pooh Bear's a toy. That much is easy.

    But what about Wolverine, the muscular X-Man with the metal claws that jut out from his fists? Wolverine has known many forms in his more than 40 years as a Marvel character. In some comics, he resembles a futuristic robot. In the movie "X-Men," he's a scruffy Canadian who drives a camper until falling under the protection of the telepathic Prof. Xavier, dean of an academy for gifted mutants in suburban New York.

    But is he human?

    To weigh that question, Judge Barzilay sat down with a sheaf of opposing legal briefs and more than 60 action figures, including Wolverine, Storm, Rogue and Bonebreaker.

    Toy Biz, in its filings, pulled no punches. The figures "stand as potent witnesses for their status as nonhuman creatures," the company argued. How could they be humans, Toy Biz said, if they possessed "tentacles, claws, wings or robotic limbs?"

    Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.

    The U.S. government showed more feeling. Each figure had a "distinctive individual personality," the federal legal team argued. Some were Russians, Japanese, black, white, women, even handicapped. Wolverine, the government insisted, was simply "a man with prosthetic hands." Justice Department lawyers who handled the case didn't return calls seeking comment.

    Judge Barzilay, through a spokesman, said that she would let her 32-page decision speak for itself. But she described in her ruling how she subjected many of the figures to "comprehensive examinations." At times, that included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure."

    The X-Men, oddly, gave her the least trouble. They are mutants, she declared, who "use their extraordinary and unnatural ... powers on the side of good or evil." The judge observed how the character Storm, with her flowing white hair and dark skin, "can summon storms at will," while Pyro has a "mutant ability to control and shape flames."

    Thus the X-Men are "something other than human." Case closed.

    Tougher for the judge were figures from the Fantastic Four and Spiderman series. Judge Barzilay wrestled at length with Kraven, a famed hunter who once vanquished Spiderman, thanks in part to the strength gained from drinking secret jungle elixirs.

    The judge found that Kraven exhibited "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs." He wore a "lion's mane-like vest." Both features helped relegate him, in the judge's mind, to the netherworld of robots, monsters and devils.

    Judge Barzilay conceded that the closest call was the Mole Man, who once blinded the Fantastic Four with searing beams of light. The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground. Given all that, Judge Barzilay concluded, the Mole Man was more mole than man.

    Veteran comics fan Christian Cooper, who once worked as a Marvel editor, thinks Judge Barzilay got carried away. If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself?

    "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    Write to Neil King Jr. at neil.king@wsj.com

    1. Re:Article Text by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why the hell is this modded up?? The link to the article works just fine.

      -1 Redundant

    2. Re:Article Text by Wraithlyn · · Score: 1

      Regarding Superman:

      "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

      No.. it means he's NOT HUMAN you dumb fuck. There are other options, like, oh, say, an alien species from the planet Krypton?

      --
      "Mind, as manifested by the capacity to make choices, is to some extent present in every electron." -Freeman Dyson
    3. Re:Article Text by Idarubicin · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      Wow. That's the most blatant karma whoring I've seen in quite a while.

      People, it's fine to mirror the article content to the comments if the original site is getting hammered. But come on--the Wall Street Journal? As important as we of /. think we are, the WSJ can handle our brutal onslaught. Really. It can.

      Mirroring the WSJ content (or that of any other major news outlet or high-traffic site) is pointless. For the NYT, post a link to the Google (no registration required) version. Quite frankly, these sites can handle more load than /. can--so it makes sense to have them supply the articles.

      The sole advantage of mirroring content from these large sites on /. is that maybe--maybe--a few more posters will read the original article before posting. Tagging posts that are at best 0, Redundant as +5, Informative is playing to the whores.

      --
      ~Idarubicin
    4. Re:Article Text by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And I say that it's impossible to karma whore if the person doing the whoring is an AC.

      So quit yer yap, and if it bothers you, filter out the ACs, it's not that hard. The guy probably got it confused with the Washington Post, which *does* require a *paid* subscription. I know I did before I even tried to look at the article.

    5. Re:Article Text by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Marvel Fought to Have Characters Ruled
      Nonhuman to Win Lower Tariff on Toys ...
      The famed X-Men, those fighters of prejudice sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are not human"

      Now we see the real reason why prejeduces are proliferated: not hate or fear, as the x-men comic would have you belive, but money :)

  9. wow by tps12 · · Score: 4, Informative

    Pretty sensationalist headline for the Journal. For those who didn't read the article, it's about whether the X-Men figurines are toys or dolls. Obviously the status of fictional characters as "human" or not is completely absurd, and not at all what the case was about.

    X-Men fans should stop whining and go play with their dolls.

    --

    Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
    1. Re:wow by nucal · · Score: 1, Informative
      In 1996, Toy Biz sued Customs in the Court of International Trade, which arbitrates foreign-trade disputes between U.S. companies and the government. Toy Biz said its pantheon of action figures should be classified as toys instead of dolls. Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories.

      Not only is there not any relevance to the fictional characters, but there's no financial difference, either ...

      Now Simpsons characters, well those are collectables, dammit ...

    2. Re:wow by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 1

      "Pretty sensationalist headline for the Journal. For those who didn't read the article, it's about whether the X-Men figurines are toys or dolls. Obviously the status of fictional characters as "human" or not is completely absurd, and not at all what the case was about."

      Doesn't matter, the cloning ban is still in effect.

    3. Re:wow by kchoboter · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure about this, but I'll through the idea out there.

      Since the case started in 1996, at which time duties were applicable, Toy Biz has been paying them. Now, because of the ruling, they may be owed money from US Customs.

      --
      4B4556494E
    4. Re:wow by denttford · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yes there is. There is an issue as to whether the duties paid should have been at 6.8% (as paid) or 12%. If the judge ruled that the figures were dolls, Toy Biz would have owed the balance of 5.2% for the time it was applicable. That is probably a considerable amount - and I am sure that customs would have hit them with something like a "late fee." :-)

      Not only does this follow reasoning, it follows the text of the article:

      Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.

      --

      Leben Sie jetzt die Fragen.
    5. Re:wow by nucal · · Score: 1
      ... because of the ruling, they may be owed money from US Customs.

      Makes sense to me ...

    6. Re:wow by TechDock · · Score: 1
      Duties have since been eliminated from both categories. Not only is there not any relevance to the fictional characters, but there's no financial difference, either ...

      Actually, there is a financial difference. Later on in the article it mentions:

      Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.

      So there is a reason to pursue this, even though tariffs do not currently apply.

      --
      Dreamers, shapers, singers, makers... Elric, the Techno-Mage
    7. Re:wow by Mike+Schiraldi · · Score: 1

      Obviously the status of fictional characters as "human" or not is completely absurd, and not at all what the case was about.

      That's exactly what the case was about -- whether or not the fictional characters depicted by the X-Men figurines were human characters or not.

    8. Re:wow by meloneg · · Score: 1
      Toy Biz would have owed the balance of 5.2% for the time it was applicable

      Actually, its a bit the other way. Toy Biz appears to have a refund coming.

      From the article, Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.

    9. Re:wow by srealm · · Score: 1

      You didn't really read the article very well, did you.

      For the action figures to be classified as dolls, they must first be classified as 'human' (or more correctly, representations of human characters).

      Only by classifying them as non-human can they then be classified as toys instead of dolls, and get the tax benefit of this classification.

      So the crutial issues IS indeed whether they're humans or not, because by law, thats what then classifies them as dolls or toys.

    10. Re:wow by NineNine · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Pretty sensationalist headline for the Journal.

      Not really. The WSJ is actually a good, well-rounded paper which generally has at least one relatively fun/interesting column down the center of the front page. And, as an aside, their tech section is one of the best in the industry, which should be really embarassing to other tech news outlets (CNET, The Register, ZDNET, Wired, etc.), considering that this is primarily a business newspaper.

    11. Re:wow by Kaz+Riprock · · Score: 2, Funny

      X-Men fans should stop whining and go play with their dolls.

      Not dolls. Toys. Didn't you read the article at all? :)

      --
      Mordor...a magical, mythical land where women are more rare than dragons--but where every man would rather find a dragon
    12. Re:wow by denttford · · Score: 1

      Yup, 100%. My stupidity.

      Also caused by scanning a ridiculous article, and paying selective attention to the facts.

      Sigh.

      --

      Leben Sie jetzt die Fragen.
    13. Re:wow by dossen · · Score: 1
      Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.

      There is financial difference.

    14. Re:wow by VendettaMF · · Score: 1

      Ah, b ut the fans in question want them to be classified as dolls.

      --
      kartune85 : Incapable of reason, observation or learning. A kind of dim, drab, flightless parrot.
    15. Re:wow by dracocat · · Score: 2, Insightful

      He was talking about the headline, not the content. The headline says they were declared 'not human'. The truth is, they were declared 'not dolls'

      That is whats called sensationalism, and something that the WSJ usually does not take part in.

      Would you have read the article if it had said 'Judge Decides X-Men Are Toys and not Dolls', which is really what the article is about.

    16. Re:wow by schlach · · Score: 1

      Obviously the status of fictional characters as "human" or not is completely absurd, and not at all what the case was about.

      No, the irony of it all is that this was exactly what the case was about!

      The X-Men series broke new ground when it began in 1963 by confronting racism and intolerance head-on. The good-hearted mutants rallied around their mentor, the wheelchair-bound Prof. Charles Xavier, to protect mankind, even as humans shunned and despised them.

      This is hilarious. This is a US judge ruling on whether or not mutants are human - it's straight out of the comic book! The specific case is a now-dead tariff on toys, but the principle is whether the X-Men would be human. The racism and intolerance of 1963 that the comic book was written to combat seem just as alive and well today in America, despite how progressive we like to paint ourselves. And to prove it, we have life imitating art as X-Men are declared inhuman in the courtroom, denying them the enjoyment of the same human rights guaranteed to those of us not in Guantanamo Bay or off the coast of North Carolina in a Navy brig.

      How can you miss the irony?

    17. Re:wow by platypus · · Score: 1

      He was talking about the headline, not the content. The headline says they were declared 'not human'. The truth is, they were declared 'not dolls'.

      No offense, but in my world, and I think in the world of most others, a headline containin "X-Men" really can't decribe anything we deem as "sensational", no matter what the other words are. See, I'd say it's "humor" for the most people, and "sensationalism" in the Marvel-World.

    18. Re:wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The only way to rule that the toys aren't dolls is to rule that the characters they represent aren't human. A ruling that humanity is only about appearance and mediocrity is beneath any court of law, and we have to make sure no real person ever suffers by the judge's narrow-minded and insipid criteria.

    19. Re:wow by NineNine · · Score: 1

      Agreed. It's humor. It's meant to be a business story that also happens to be funny. It's business, but it doesn't involve a lot of money, or a large, sweepign legal ruling. Chances are that is was either in the center column of the front page, or on the front page of Marketplace, where is where they usually put the more fun stories. I'd check myself, but I can't afford a subscription right now. It's funny. The WSJ does run funny articles without being "sensationalist". I'd recommend that *anybody* who's never picked up an issue should pick one up. In my opinion, it's the best all around newspaper in the world.

  10. What the X-men need... by goatasaur · · Score: 1

    ...is Commander Riker!

    He's got experience with this stuff.

    --
    ~D:
    1. Re:What the X-men need... by MonTemplar · · Score: 1

      ...is Commander Riker!

      He's got experience with this stuff.


      Yeah, right! That old tub of lard wouldn't last five seconds against Jubilee, let alone Wolverine! :)

      --
      -MT.
    2. Re:What the X-men need... by eluusive · · Score: 1

      Poor Commander Data almost got dissected because of him! Peh!

  11. *gasp* by aetherspoon · · Score: 0, Troll

    Next think you know, they might rule that statues aren't human... then houses... WHAT NEXT?! What is the world coming to?!! I mean, they might declare that.... >_> _ Fish aren't human! NOOOOO! Not the fish! On a somewhat serious note, it was kinda an underhanded trick to get around the tariff...

    --
    --- Ãther SPOON!
  12. Damn you, Senator Robert Kelly by jeffehobbs · · Score: 4, Funny


    I guess it's just a matter of time until the Sentinels arrive. Better start filling out that application to the Hellfire Club right about now...

    ~jeff

  13. Sir, are you classified as human? by JesseL · · Score: 4, Funny

    Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

    --
    "Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado!"
    1. Re:Sir, are you classified as human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      You know, there actually is such a thing as a meat popsicle.

      (Or so the Germans would have us believe.)

    2. Re:Sir, are you classified as human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Arrrrgh! What movie is this from?

    3. Re:Sir, are you classified as human? by Teancom · · Score: 1

      5th element. (I'll admit I had to google for it). It was bugging me, too.

    4. Re:Sir, are you classified as human? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wha Wha Wha Wha Wha Wha Whatssss Thiss? Corbin, What is thisss here mang?

      a Bomb.

      No, no, no, no, no, no, no, because if it was a bomb, the bomb detector would go off.

      (beat) ::Bomb siren alerts::

      Ahhh! we gonna die!

      5th element is one of my fav movies :) boy do i suck at quotes.

    5. Re:Sir, are you classified as human? by DaveOf9thKey · · Score: 1

      That would explain that long stick up your bum.

      *rimshot*

      --

      Visit me on the web at Permanent4.com.
  14. Semanticists unite! by thatguywhoiam · · Score: 4, Funny
    Frankly, I was more dissappointed when Magneto (in the movie) declared himself as leader of the benignly-named

    Brotherhood of Mutants

    when as we all know the proper, grandiose, toungue-in-cheek name was

    Brotherhood of EVIL Mutants

    I mean, of course they're not human. The question is, are they eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil?

    --
    If Jesus wants me it knows where to find me.
    1. Re:Semanticists unite! by JohnBowman · · Score: 1

      It's comic-book movie realism. Evil doers never _think_ they're doing evil. So why would they call their organization by that name?

      --

      JohnnyB - johnbowman.net

    2. Re:Semanticists unite! by Dehumanizer · · Score: 1

      I seem to recall a time (in the 90s) when the bad guys' argument was that "evil mutant" had became just a "human" term for mutants who didn't suck up to humans, or something, and therefore they were proud of being called that.

      And all incarnations of the Brotherhood surely HAD the word "Evil".

      I admit that in the movie, to a non-comic reader, it might have sounded a bit ridiculous. "Did they say EVIL mutants!??!"

      --
      The Tlog - a technology blog
  15. Jeez... by yamcha666 · · Score: 1

    Another excellent example that our judicial system is full of garbage and generally fscked up.

    1. Re:Jeez... by Ponty · · Score: 1

      Not the judicial system, the legislative branch of the federal government. The judges just interpret the dumb laws that Congress passes (the clever ones too, mind you.) If you're going to blame anyone for this (not that blame is necessary), blame Congress, as (if my recolloction is correct) the Constitution grants Congress the right to levy tariffs on incoming goods.

    2. Re:Jeez... by krumms · · Score: 1

      As opposed to the police force, which rummages through garbage in hopes of scoring evidence according to a recent /. article I can't seem to find right now :P

    3. Re:Jeez... by krumms · · Score: 1

      Just found the news article, still no luck with the story on slashdot

    4. Re:Jeez... by jcast · · Score: 1

      If it were full of garbage, wouldn't a good fsck fix that?

      --
      There are reasons why democracy does not work nearly as well as capitalism.
      -- David D. Friedman
  16. In other news by dacarr · · Score: 4, Funny

    A humanoid in yellow spandex was spotted in Washington, DC the other day, madly yelling "I am not an X-man! I am a HUMAN BEING!!!!"

    --
    This sig no verb.
    1. Re:In other news by babbage · · Score: 4, Funny
      Wasn't that an episode of "The Algebraic Prisoner" back in the sixties? "I am not a variable! I am an X-Man!"

      No? BY hook or by crook, it is!

    2. Re:In other news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      #1...post that deserves to be modded up, but most likley will not be.

    3. Re:In other news by limproach · · Score: 1

      hopefully there won't be any "derivative" posts to that one

    4. Re:In other news by babbage · · Score: 1
      ha * ha * ha :-)

      (I briefly considered trying to make a legitmate algebraic expression that ends in an smiley, but it seems like it would have to end in punctuation or an operator, which probably wouldn't make sense. Clever "solutions" welcome :)

  17. Deeply, deeply ironic... by Malfourmed · · Score: 5, Insightful
    ...that the X-Men fight to have themselves accepted as human in their principle-driven comic book world, while their owners and masters fight to have the opposite declared in the dollar-uber-alles real world.

    <comic geek pedant mode>

    It's Spider-Man, not Spiderman

    </cgpm>

    And Superman was never human - he was always Kryptonian!

    1. Re:Deeply, deeply ironic... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah! We all know Spiderman is Jewish (like Goldman, Steinman, etc) and Spider-Man is not. The correct Jewish pronunciation is "Sp-EYE-der-mun".

    2. Re:Deeply, deeply ironic... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's Spider-Man, not Spiderman

      (Friends reference)

      Exactly it's Spider Man. His name isn't "Phil Spiderman."

      (/Friends reference)

    3. Re:Deeply, deeply ironic... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey! I love my Jewish comic collection! The Adventures of Phil Spiderman, Attorney of Justice was one of my favs! I used to love reading about his adventures in the world of Law, making sure whoever hired him got off free and paid horrible amounts of money for it too! And the babes! Jewish princess is all I have to say about that! Its too bad Marvel had come along and muddy up the waters with their Spider-man character....but they had Jewish attorneys too and paid theirs more so they won that battle. :( Oh well, I guess I'll just have to be content to know they will burn in hell with all the other heathens! :)

    4. Re:Deeply, deeply ironic... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      And Superman was never human - he was always Kryptonian!

      When aliens start arriving in ships, we'll have to start redefining the term humanity.

    5. Re:Deeply, deeply ironic... by runlvl0 · · Score: 1


      comic geek pedant mode

      My god, it's worse than that, Malfourmed! You're doing bits from Friends!

      (episode 319, "The one with the tiny t-shirt.")

      Phoebe: Hey! Why isn't it pronounced "Spidermun?" Ya know, like Goldman, or Silverman?
      Chandler: It's not his last name.
      Phoebe: It isn't?
      Chandler: No. It's not like... like "Phil Spidermun". He's a spider man. You know, like, uh, like Goldman is a last name, but there's no Gold Man.
      Phoebe: Oh, okay! There should be a "Gold Man!"

      --

      Carthago delenda est!
  18. Gee by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Of course they aren't U-Men, they're X-Men.

  19. It's not a big deal by Ralph+Wiggam · · Score: 5, Informative

    Before the comic book geeks get worked up about "They may not be Homo Sapiens, but they're human dammit", it's just a stupid tax matter. There used to be different import taxes on "dolls" and "toys". The guv'mint said the Marvel figures were dolls because they're human figures and wanted them taxed at twice the rate of toys. Marvel disagreed and won.

    The taxes have since been repealed. Nothing to see here.

    -B

    1. Re:It's not a big deal by gilroy · · Score: 4, Interesting
      Blockquoth the poster:

      Before the comic book geeks get worked up about "They may not be Homo Sapiens, but they're human dammit", it's just a stupid tax matter.

      OK, so this shouldn't be the spark for the Mutant Uprising. But it's a little more relevant than you seem to think. To be "dolls", the figures had to depict humans. Otherwise, they were "toys". So the issue actually was, "Do the X-Men count as human?" This in turn demands we answer, "What makes a human human?"


      And that's more important than you might want to admit. Sure, we're probably not likely to see Xavier and his cohorts on the streets of Manhattan. But how about cloned people? Or genetically modified -- even genetically enhanced -- people? What about, say, a weightlifter who's been designed from before birth to be the world's best weightlifter ever? What if the genetic modification was done under the sponsorship of a corporation? What if that corporation later asserted "property rights" to the modified person?


      I found the judge's criteria, as quoted, quite disturbing. Apparently differing abilities was enough to classify the mutants as "non-human". The judge focused on their mutant powers, such as the ability to control storms or to withstand injury. Apparently she did not focus on their ability to speak, to reason, to create, to love ... none of the things that make being human a worthwhile thing. People born without limbs are also "differently abled". People without sight often have sharper hearing. Does this make those people "other than human"?


      Although the actual case is a bit of a joke, the issues raised are deep and pressing. We're heading to a place where the very notion of "human" will be under strain as never before. Perhaps it's good that somebody is reasoning about it ahead of time -- though I could have wished for a better result.

    2. Re:It's not a big deal by ndogg · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Firstly, Magneto has it wrong, Mutants are humans since they can interbreed with any Homo-sapien on the Marvel earth. They would be better classified as the only other race of Homo-sapiens (NB "races" such as Caucasian, Indian, Hispanic, etc. don't really exist because there isn't enough differences in the genetics for such races to exist within the definition of biology.)

      Secondly, you're right, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter all that much, but it's still something to be upset about. The X-Men, for many people, aren't merely characters in a great piece of fiction, but also a metaphor for those in humanity who have felt the sting of oppression by fellow human beings.

      This comic also shows that oppressed people are still human. Being oppressed does not necessarily provide justification for all actions used to break that oppression. The comic shows the complexity of human nature and its affairs, rather than trying to make clear distinctions between good and evil.

      --
      // file: mice.h
      #include "frickin_lasers.h"
    3. Re:It's not a big deal by nochops · · Score: 1

      You've made a good point, but I have a question for you:

      Wouldn't the judge have to assume that the figures were capable of speech, reason, creative ability, love, etc?

      I'm guessing that she focused on the figures' mutant powers because that's what she was given to work with. I could be entirely wrong here, but I assume she wasn't entirely familiar with the X-Men, and therefore had to be told "This is storm." "Okay, what is she? What does she do?" "Well, she's a mutant who can control the weather?" But I doubt it was mentioned to the judge that she explicitly had all of the normal traits that a human had. They probably just assumed that the judge would take that into consideration. If you're right, then she didn't.

      Whew...I hope that made sense. You've brought up a really good point anyway.

      --
      "A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
    4. Re:It's not a big deal by achurch · · Score: 1

      What about, say, a weightlifter who's been designed from before birth to be the world's best weightlifter ever? What if the genetic modification was done under the sponsorship of a corporation? What if that corporation later asserted "property rights" to the modified person?

      That's easy--the modified person picks up the corporation's office building and throws it away somewhere. Problem solved.

      (Where does an 800-pound gorilla sit? -- Anywhere he wants to . . .)

    5. Re:It's not a big deal by DroppedPacket · · Score: 2, Interesting
      I found the judge's criteria, as quoted, quite disturbing.

      OK, so I'm replying in the middle of an article several hours hold. Very few people will ever see this but... Everybody is pretending to make a big deal of this, but I have a different perspective. I suspect the judge thought this was a stupid case. The action figures are meant to be played with as toys. They are not going to be cuddled, dressed, burped, changed, bathed, etc. like a Betsie Wetsie doll.

      Common sense sometimes has to wear silly clothes in the courts.

      --
      I am not a resource! I am a free man!
    6. Re:It's not a big deal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Unless he has a bluetooth in his cerebellum.
      And the corporation holds the joystick.
      And/or the prime directive keeps him from interfering with OCP execs or other OCP property.

    7. Re:It's not a big deal by gilroy · · Score: 1
      Blockquoth the poster:

      Common sense sometimes has to wear silly clothes in the courts.

      Granted. And it's unlikely that a Customs case is going to have any precedential value. But all we can go on is what the judge says forms the basis of her judgment, and what she wrote does disturb me. A judge has a responsibility to rule well and to make sure the ruling doesn't do damage itself. In other words, the judge shouldn't be dressing up common sense, or people might mistake the costume for the content.
    8. Re:It's not a big deal by deadsaijinx* · · Score: 1

      yes there is!!! I demand humor, and few things are as funny as this. After all, no one goes to slashdot for late-braking, important , or accurate info.

      --
      YOU SUCK BALLS!
    9. Re:It's not a big deal by corbettw · · Score: 1

      "People without sight often have sharper hearing. Does this make those people "other than human"?"

      I don't know, was Daredevil one of the Marvel toys the judge looked at?

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    10. Re:It's not a big deal by unitron · · Score: 1
      "And/or the prime directive keeps him from interfering with OCP execs or other OCP property."

      I think you're thinking more along the lines of Asimov's Laws of Robotics.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    11. Re:It's not a big deal by ratamacue · · Score: 1
      There used to be different import taxes on "dolls" and "toys".

      And therein lies the problem: government. This wouldn't have been an issue if the tax code wasn't so complex and biased in the first place. The issue represents yet another blunder from government that, in the end, comes out of the taxpayer's pocket (that's you and me). Government doesn't pay for their mistakes like private business. They simply foot the bill to you and me.

    12. Re:It's not a big deal by ClioCJS · · Score: 1
      Horses can interbreed with donkeys.

      Does that make mules horses?

      --
      -Clio
      Karma: Bad (mostly from not giving a fuck)
      Blog: http://clintjcl.wordpress.com
    13. Re:It's not a big deal by ndogg · · Score: 1

      Actually, that's an interesting point to make. Geneticists actually classify donkeys and horses to be different species since mules are sterile. This means that their genes will not be interfused beyond that one generation of mule offspring, therefore, there gene pools continue to stay seperate.

      --
      // file: mice.h
      #include "frickin_lasers.h"
  20. What? by crandall · · Score: 0, Troll

    No, seriously. What?

    This has to be the worst pick for news I've seen on slashdot yet.

  21. Whoah... confusing! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Okay, the blurb on Slashdot was really confusing and left me with "WTF, why do I care?"

    So, I did a rare thing, I read the article!

    Basically, this is a trial over getting some money back from customs for Toy Biz since they were taxed over the dolls rate, instead of the toys rate (doll is 2x toys custom duties). (Eh... cheaper 'toys' in the future, maybe). Comic book readers howl over protest because the Xmen were all about people who are different from the socially accepted norm trying to be accepted as regular humans, but end up being shunned.

    Now... replace "Xmen" with "geeks and nerds", maybe this explains our self-imposed exile to dark server rooms and lack of girlfriends?

  22. sad by jaxle · · Score: 1

    Why must our courts be tied up with this kind of thing? It is truly sad when a judge has to decide whether a fictional character is considered human or not just so a corporation can make some more money.

    1. Re:sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because our laws are tied up with this kind of thing. When Congress makes bizzare, counterintuitive proclamations to support certain businesses while excluding others, somebody has to decide where they were and were not meant to apply. Judges would be much less busy if the law made more sense.

    2. Re:sad by mkoenecke · · Score: 1

      "Just so a corporation can make some more money?" I've got news for you: corporations, much like Soylent Green, are composed of people. The whole idea behind them is that people may invest money in a business venture, while having their liability limited to the amount they invest. That way, if I buy three shares of stock in, say, Ben & Jerry's, if Ben & Jerry run off to Brazil with the profits, I won't lose my house to the people who were cheated. If I had to put all my personal livelihood on the line to invest in any business, I sure would be less likely to invest in anything. It's called "economics," and is something worth learning about.

      The less tax you are required to pay, the more money *people* get to keep. Perhaps, in your ideal world, everything would just go to the government so that nobody, corporations or individuals, would have to worry about "making some more money." Unfortunately, history proves that is not the optimum way to provide for prosperity for everyone.

      Yes, Greed is a bad thing. But Greed may be defined as wanting more than one deserves or is entitled to: and who decides what each individual is entitled to?

      Sorry to rant, but although there are indeed potential and actual abuses inherent in business getting too large and disconnected from its shareholders, plus problems related to too much market dominance, the knee-jerk reaction that "corporations are bad" is frankly naive in the extreme. "Corporations are good" is equally naive, of course.

      --
      TANSTAAFL
    3. Re:sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sadder yet that - since the judge is supposed to have average to above-average intellect, education, and understanding; and being it quite improbable that the judge in question never saw any of the "Planet of The Apes" movies (or anything similar, from "Dr. Moreau's Island" and "The Day the Earth Stopped", onwards) - it logically follows that said judge has cravenly submitted to degenerate evil's dictates on the matter.

      A judge's qualifications demand that consider

      In spirit, this is the same attitude that caused jews, blacks, indians, non-christians, non-neander..., er, "non-whites", non-greeks, etc. to be considered "non-human", by judges, back through the ages.

      That's why, no matter how many "Bi-Centennial Man" type stories are cranked out, and how corny they might seem, they will always be necessary and will never be enough.

      This is the sort of thing judges should get right. This is the sort of thing judicial systems should keep from happening. "In dubio pro re", keeps popping into mind. Similar principle can be traced back to Hammurabi's Code - a poor freeman paid less for lesser transgressions than landowners, or religious or royal officials did.

      No judge can ignore that his job always has repercussions, contributes to precedent and lends itself to cause from then onward.

      Justice, and humanity, have been done a grievous disservice.

    4. Re:sad by matrix29 · · Score: 0

      I've got news for you: corporations, much like Soylent Green, are composed of people.

      Yeah, but you'll never be able to find that out by reading the label. Instead of listing "Contains pureed elderly humans" it will probably state "Contains domesticated sapien proteins". If a justly angry Charlton Heston begins to run through the streets screaming "Soylent Green is made from people!" the corporations will slap a DMCA violation on his mouth faster than you can blink.

      --
      "Face it, a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
  23. Of course they're not human! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Those mutie freaks are a menace! As long as their around, us norms will never be safe!

  24. Ron Jeremy's human status called into question by TheKodiak · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground. Given all that, Judge Barzilay concluded, the Mole Man was more mole than man."

    Sorry, Ron, back to the farm with you.

    --
    -=Best Viewed Using [INLINE]=-
    1. Re:Ron Jeremy's human status called into question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sounds like a certain Microsoft executive, too.

  25. obligatory reference by goatasaur · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir!

    --
    ~D:
  26. hold on 1 second by becktabs · · Score: 1

    it took a judge to figure this out?

  27. This is a serious setback... by saskboy · · Score: 1

    This is a serious setback... for Barbie's divorce from Ken. Not only is she not entitled to alamony because she is non-human, the marriage wasn't even legal in the first place.

    --
    Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
    1. Re:This is a serious setback... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      did you READ the article? Barbie was never called into question. She is human.

      seriously read it before you post a bad joke so late in the day

  28. Mutants? by Ryan+Stortz · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The X-Men, oddly, gave her the least trouble. They are mutants, she declared, who "use their extraordinary and unnatural ... powers on the side of good or evil."

    Yes, but aren't all humans mutants? (I guess it all depends on which theory you believe: evolution or creation.) Humans use their powers for good and evil.

    But she described in her ruling how she subjected many of the figures to "comprehensive examinations." At times, that included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure."

    Doesn't this sentance make you think the whole article is fake?

    --
    Bugs are just features that have been fixed.
    1. Re:Mutants? by scott1853 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sounds more like the judge is trying to justify some strange fetish in a Pete Townsend sort of way.

      "I was just using the naked toys for research on a legal judgement"

  29. Just Think by MagicMerlin · · Score: 1

    Your tax dollars (a lot of them) are being used for a judge, swarms of US customs officials, and a bunch of lawyers to sit around and try and figure out the true nature of a bunch of action figures. What a country!

    1. Re:Just Think by jwilloug · · Score: 1

      Yup, it's a shame they lost. Now another bucketful of My Tax Dollars(tm) is going to be given to Marvel as "reimbursment" for all those mistakenly levied tariffs.

      And the chance that any of that money goes to people who actually paid the tariffs, the ones who bought the no-longer-dolls off the shelf? Zero.

    2. Re:Just Think by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They're dolls. Not action figure. Girl.

    3. Re:Just Think by r00zky · · Score: 1

      Now i understand why US crime rate is so high... judges deciding humanity of toys pfff

      --
      I'm a chainsmokin' alcoholic sociopath, so-ci-o-path
  30. Is it just me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is it just me, or is America becoming more and more of a police state? I think I will move to Canada or France, because those are really great non socialist countries that value personal freedoms. This all started when George Bush Jr. became president. This country used to be a utopia up until 2 years ago! To bad Al Gore didn't become president, even though he did win! Also too bad that all white men are evil and always have been. You can't tell me this isn't true! I saw it on television and heard it in a speech at my college. I am so worried and have no job. I think its because I know the truth about everything and nobody wants to hire me because I know things.

    1. Re:Is it just me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I agree. Of course.. the republicans just love the values america was founded on.. the right to free slavery etc... oh yeah, where'd that "constitution" thing go anyway? I coulda swore it was around here somewhere.

      Unfortunately, we're under Grand Oil Party rule for two more years.. blecch!

    2. Re:Is it just me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I see your education matches your intellect. The Republican Party was founded as an abolitionist's party. Have you ever heard of Lincoln? Look in your purse and see if you can find any shiny coins with his picture on them. He was the first Republican president. I also know of no Republican that openly condones slavery. You sound like a very bitter person who flings bat shit crazy accusations.

    3. Re:Is it just me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      YHBT. YHL. HAND.

  31. Overfuckinglawyered. by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Overlawyered. Overfuckingregulated.

    OK kids. A 32-page ruling on whether or not the X-Men are human or non-human, due to a 6.8% vs 12% import duty differential charged seven years ago, a duty that isn't even in effect anymore.

    How many hundreds of thousands (millions?) of dollars got spent on lawyers - both from Marvel's shareholders for their lawyers and our tax dollars being spent on the Government's lawyers - in the case leading up to this ruling - a ruling that took seven years after the initial dispute hit the courts?

    In the world of the X-Men, something would have broken by now, but the real world has no superheroes to save us.

    Isn't it time we called our Congressmen/women and demanded, on pain of our voting for third parties, that they put the tax law genie back in the bottle?

    Anyone? Bueller?

    1. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by nomadic · · Score: 1

      Isn't it time we called our Congressmen/women and demanded, on pain of our voting for third parties, that they put the tax law genie back in the bottle?

      It's also the corporations' fault. Every time they try to levy a standard tax the lobbyists come out and beg, wheedle, and bribe to get loopholes in the law. They should just set a standard import/export tax, no exceptions.

    2. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Mike+Schiraldi · · Score: 1

      Read the fucking article. Although the tariffs have been lifted, Marvel is due a buttload of refunds for tariffs paid in the past.

    3. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by ChristTrekker · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'm already voting for third parties. Of course, we need these same Congress-critters to enact Condorcet voting, so that such "protest" votes get noticed...

    4. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by ChristTrekker · · Score: 3, Insightful
      It's also the corporations' fault. Every time they try to levy a standard tax the lobbyists come out and beg, wheedle, and bribe to get loopholes in the law. They should just set a standard import/ export tax, no exceptions.

      True, that's what they (corps) do. But it's our fault for voting such pushovers into office. Elect some people that stand for principle over politics and you'll get fair across-the-board standards.

      As long as the 16th Amendment allows the gov't to squeeze "the rich" for whatever they want to give it to "the poor", they can continue to buy their votes in November. As long as they have the power of office, they will continue to get money from corps for these special favors. And as long as the 17th Amendment removes State gov'ts from having any balancing influence at the federal level, nothing will change. Money and power are powerful and perverse incentives.

      However, the solution isn't "campaign finance reform" or "term limits". Some of the most expensive races are US Senate, which removing the 17th Amendment would solve. Besides, we ought to be able to spend our money how we please. There's been more money in politics now since the "reforms" of the 70's than before. And we already have term limits - you get to "vote the bums out" every November. What we need is voting method reform so that we have a real choice, so that non-Dem/Rep votes make a difference.

    5. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by icantblvitsnotbutter · · Score: 1
      Yes, yes. A bit of ranting is merited -- at least, about the general political context. But if you'd read the article closely, you'd have seen that it mentions a retroactively imposed tariff:

      Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.


      The law is no longer in effect, so you've already gotten your wish without having to huff at your elected official (at least this time -- and might I suggest that a threatened vote to his/her major party opponent might be taken more seriously?).

      And to everyone who's missed it, the author of the WSJ article obviously had a great time writing it. Notice the opening and closing quotes -- he's obviously asked some "get a life" type questions of people who missed their chance to be taken seriously. Sit back, enjoy the read. And get worked up about something that's actually important the next time.
    6. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by friendofafriend · · Score: 1

      Do you think it is possible that a case like this is just to get some publicity before release of the next movie?

    7. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Informative
      > The law is no longer in effect, so you've already gotten your wish without having to huff at your elected official (at least this time -- and might I suggest that a threatened vote to his/her major party opponent might be taken more seriously?).

      No, I haven't gotten my wish. Calling the elimination of the differential tariff on toys-vs-dolls "getting my wish" is like tossing a hanful of sand into the Grand Canyon and claiming you've "filled" it.

      Another symptom - the IRS has seven defintions for "dependent child". I don't have kids, nor do I want 'em, but that doesn't stop me from thinking that that's a crock of shit, and an unfair burden of extra paperwork on those who do, even if understanding those multiple contradictionary definitions results in a tax break for 'em.

      Likewise, there have been times when I've wanted to start my own business. One glance at the tax forms for the self-employed, and I'm disabused of that fucking notion with a quickness. I'll never start a business because any enjoyment (and even the huge list of possible tax deductions!) I'd get from spending some free time producing things of value would be sucked dry by my having to fill out hundreds of pages of forms every year. (Or worse, paying thousands to a CPA to fill the hundreds of pages of forms out for me, and then have to sign under penalty of perjury that something I don't even comprehend (or I wouldn't have hired the fucking CPA in the first place!) is a true and faithful representation.

      With compliance costs being approximatly 50% of tax collected (1999 - $650B in income tax collected, and $300B in compliance costs), I really do think an overhaul of the ludicrous monstrosity called the Internal Revenue Code is important. And not next time, but this time.

      As for threatening to vote for his opposition - tax rates may rise under Democrats and fall under Republicans, but the Internal Revenue Code grows in complexity no matter which major party is in power. I therefore have no reason to believe that either major party has any intention of reforming the Code, and the only way I can see the Code being changed is for third parties to gain enough votes to be a threat to the majors. (In closely-run Democratic races, I'd advise voters interested in third parties to threaten to vote Green, and in closely-run Republican races, I'd likewise advise such voters to threaten to vote Libertarian.)

    8. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Guppy06 · · Score: 1

      "due to a 6.8% vs 12% import duty differential charged seven years ago, a duty that isn't even in effect anymore."

      Let's see.. 5.2% on a $10.00 toy (yes, I know I'm being conservative), assuming they sold 1,000,000 of them during the time period in question comes out to be $520,000. Not exactly chump-change.

      "our tax dollars being spent on the Government's lawyers"

      DOJ only has a finite amount of time/money to spend on such cases. In order to justify next year's budget, they have to pick their cases carefully. Cases where, for example, the monetary amount in question more than justifies the amount of time/money spent prosecuting.

    9. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      US self-employment isn't that complicated. Send in estimated tax four times during the year, then add self-employment tax (1040-SE) and business profit/loss (1040-C) to your personal income tax. There's some record-keeping if you have a lot of property (more than $50K or so) to depreciate, but no math you couldn't have done in junior high.

    10. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by frank_adrian314159 · · Score: 1
      Likewise, there have been times when I've wanted to start my own business. One glance at the tax forms for the self-employed, and I'm disabused of that fucking notion with a quickness.

      Most entrepenuers would say that anyone that would let taxes (or the paperwork entailed therein) to prevent them from starting a business was not cut out to start a business anyway.

      Not that I'm telling you not to bitch about it and try to get the whole thing changed, though. It's every American's God-given right to bitch about taxes. Feel free to do so. I just don't like straw-man arguments like, "The tax laws give me an excuse not to get off my non-entrepeneureal ass and not start a business."

      Consider also that the taxes you pay helps to construct a legal and infrastructural framework under which businesses can operate quite safely and easily. Last I heard, the Soviet Union did not have any sort of effective tax law (or government either). You could always move there. What!?!? It doesn't have the legal protections you want? It doesn't have phone lines that aren't being torn down for their copper content? Poor baby.

      P.S. The kind of rant you indulged in is why everyone sees Libertarians as a bunch of whiners.

      --
      That is all.
    11. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Interesting
      > Most entrepenuers would say that anyone that would let taxes (or the paperwork entailed therein) to prevent them from starting a business was not cut out to start a business anyway.

      *grin* - good point :)

      As for the guy who mentioned 1040-C - it, like 1040 - is deceptively simple. The forms are all two pages, but each line typically involves multiple questions about putting things into slots, just like the "is it a toy or is it a doll" question.

      Quickly now, can you tell me whether that new alternator's a valid car and truck expense (II-10, 1040-C)? How about whether or not it was a Section 179 expense deduction? Quickly now, are you renting or leasing your office space and equipment, and what effect does that have on your after-tax income? What percentage of your home were you using for your business? Is it more tax-efficient to use LIFO or FIFO accounting for your inventory? (What does "inventory" mean if part of what you sell is software? :-)

      It ain't the math - it's basic arithmetic. It's figuring out which of the myriad rules apply to one's situation or not.

      > Consider also that the taxes you pay helps to construct a legal and infrastructural framework under which businesses can operate quite safely and easily. Last I heard, the Soviet Union did not have any sort of effective tax law (or government either).

      Last I heard, Russia instituted a flat tax and tax revenues skyrocketed because people were actually able to comply.

      But I digress - my rant wasn't principally about the amount paid, but of the ludicrous complexity involved in figuring out how much is owed.

      My "I'd have started a business" was a straw man -- but do you really thing we need seven definitions of "dependent child" (families), to draw a distinction between the taxation of a stock held for 359 days and 360 days (long-term vs short-term gains, and the host of "straddle/spread" rules required to preserve this distinction in the face of hedging strategies made possible through the use of exchange-traded options), to draw a distinction between "Section 1250 contracts" and normal securities (trading the S&P 500 is not the same as trading an S&P-500-based mutual fund - it's treated as 60% long-term-gain and 40% short-term-gain), so make sure you've checked off Form 4952 if you invested on margin, and Forms 4797, 2439, 6252, 4684, 6781, and 8824, (Line 11, 1040-D) whose purposes I've forgotten about, and don't even get me started on the Alternative Minimum Tax - in which you get to do it all over again? Those aren't strawmen - those are picked from just a casual glance at 1040C and 1040D.

      At no points on this thread have I whined about the dollar amounts taken by the government, only ludicrous volume of paperwork involved in complying with the legal requirements of the taking.

      In Soviet Russia... at least the damn tax system is comprehensible. And whether they're digging up the copper or not, that puts them light-years ahead of us.

      To indulge in a little bit of traditional /. anti-corporatespeak: when only multibillion-dollar corporations can afford to hire the army of lawyers and CPAs required to comply with the tax laws, the only legal businesses will be multibillion-dollar corporations.

    12. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by achurch · · Score: 1

      Likewise, there have been times when I've wanted to start my own business. One glance at the tax forms for the self-employed, and I'm disabused of that fucking notion with a quickness.

      As someone who's run his own business before, I can tell you that the additional four or five pages you have to fill out once a year require such an insignificant amount of your time that you might as well call it zero. If you keep proper records (and of course you'd keep proper records, wouldn't you?) it takes only an hour or so.

      By comparision, a five-minute shower every morning takes over 30 hours out of your year. (Or do you reject bathing too as taking too much of your precious time?)

    13. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 1
      A yes, I can see the new visa commercial now...

      5 Million action figures wholesale: $50 million
      Markup on the action figures: $100 million
      Tarif on the action figures: $6 Million
      Money "saved" by redefining them as "toys": $2.5 Million

      Money spent on lawyers, and PR: Countless

      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
    14. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by c0dedude · · Score: 1

      They'll probably both appeal anyway. :-)

      --
      Since when has this country used intellectual elite as a pejorative term?
    15. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by finkployd · · Score: 1

      Wait a minute, did you just argue that the US tax code is not overly complex? I have never in my life heard anyone take that position.

      That said, the tax forms for a sole proprietorship are not THAT bad, but overall the whole system is a screwed up mess.

      Finkployd

    16. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Alsee · · Score: 1

      like tossing a hanful of sand into the Grand Canyon and claiming you've "filled" it.

      LOL, don't forget that we're talking about superheros here!

      -

      --
      - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
    17. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by pommiekiwifruit · · Score: 1
      Last I heard, Russia instituted a flat tax and tax revenues skyrocketed because people were actually able to comply.

      It may also had something to do with the new breed of tax inspector - did you see them on tv practicing their jumping and rolling with their balaclavas while carrying assault rifles? That is a rather different image from the UKs "Hector the Inspector".

    18. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Tackhead · · Score: 1
      > It may also had something to do with the new breed of tax inspector - did you see them on tv practicing their jumping and rolling with their balaclavas while carrying assault rifles? That is a rather different image from the UKs "Hector the Inspector".

      ...but not much difference from the image of the IRS in most Americans' eyes. *g*

    19. Re:Overfuckinglawyered. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      what does marvel have to do with this?

      the article said marvel's distributor of toys. It didn't say they owned them.

      I have a barber, that doesn't mean i own him or would get any money he won in a lawsuit.

      seriously

  32. I am no longer a man once I gain an ability? by CNERD · · Score: 4, Funny

    So..If by some act of god, radiation, whatever, I gain some odd ability similiar to that of a super hero, I am denyed all the privilages of a normal citizen?

    Sure, you can laugh and say it will never happen, but IT COULD.

    1. Re:I am no longer a man once I gain an ability? by EddieBurkett · · Score: 1

      Given that the issue of human vs. non-human applied to a now defunct tax rate for shipping toys/dolls, unless your abilities allow you to travel through time and to turn yourself into a miniature plastic representation of yourself which would need to be transported across the border, I doubt this would affect you. But I do fear for the possibility that can happen.

      --
      The only thing I hate more than hypocrites are people who hate hypocrites.
    2. Re:I am no longer a man once I gain an ability? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Mutants are born with their super powers, thus Spider-Man is not a mutant and neither would you be if you gained powers after being zapped with radiation.

    3. Re:I am no longer a man once I gain an ability? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The tarriff on the dolls is determined by the status of the characters, and apparently appearance and paranormal abilities trump both personality and genetics. I'd like to think the judge's ruling would have been different if the X-Men actually existed (though if that's so, the ruling must be wrong), but maybe the judge would be comfortable with throwing Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stephen Hawking into a zoo.

    4. Re:I am no longer a man once I gain an ability? by Scorchio · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Never mind super-powers...

      How could they be humans, Toy Biz said, if they possessed "tentacles, claws, wings or robotic limbs?"


      Just get yourself into a nasty motorcycle accident and get fitted with a motor assisted artificial leg. Hey presto, you can't possibly be human anymore!

  33. "Comics fan" indeed by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Veteran comics fan Christian Cooper, who once worked as a Marvel editor, thinks Judge Barzilay got carried away. If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself?

    "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    I think it's clear that this so-called "comics fan" is'nt a true fan, everyone knows Superman is'nt human, he's from Krypton.

    Worst. Fan. Ever.

  34. That same judge... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    decided this was not the First Post on account of Slashdot being too slow to load.

  35. Photo caption by Dannon · · Score: 4, Funny

    X-Men's Wolverine: Man or beast?

    Well, it's obvious the WSJ reporter didn't do the examination. Beast has blue fur (whenever the Marvel writers aren't messing with his mutation), and there's no way in the world could he be confused with Wolverine.

    --
    Good judgment comes from experience.
    Experience comes from bad judgment.
  36. Re:Martin Luther King jr, minster dead at 58 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Best. Death troll. Ever.

  37. Ermm... by koali · · Score: 1

    Doesn't Marvel make figures of 100% human characters? Rick Banner... well, even the Punisher was 100% human, wasn't him?

    Will someone need to classify them indivually?

  38. The New X-Men kick ass. by johnny_4_president · · Score: 1, Interesting

    not to get too geeky here (HA!), but the New X-Men series being put out these days is really quite good. They've given the book to writer Grant Morrison, who wrote The Invisibles, Batman Arkham Asylum, Animal Man, and loads of other great comics. He's part of the reason comics will eventually find their way into college-level literature classes. make sure to get the New X-Men books though, (there are as many variants of x-men comics as there are linux distros) and all the other ones are just cotton candy fluff by comparison.

    --
    disponibile
    1. Re:The New X-Men kick ass. by MonTemplar · · Score: 2, Insightful

      (there are as many variants of x-men comics as there are linux distros)

      Ain't that the truth! :)

      --
      -MT.
  39. Not too difficult to decide by Gnr · · Score: 3, Interesting

    The way I remember it, all X-men, and all mutants, for that matter belong to the species Homo Superior, and if I remember my Carl von Linné correctly (and I think I do) that means theyre not human. Theyre part of the same family (as Cro-Magnon and other prehistoric species) but not being the same species as humans, they arent humans. Why did it take her so long, unless she enjoyed playing, dressing and undressing the dolls. I know I would... Id undress Rogue and then.... Never you mind.

    1. Re:Not too difficult to decide by outsider007 · · Score: 1

      wrong, you can't just say having a different arbitrary set of genes makes you a different species, magneto. we all know your agenda but the bottom line is that if Marvel girl were to bear my offspring they would indeed be viable, and therefore she is human... or am I a mutant?

      --
      If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
    2. Re:Not too difficult to decide by Flamerule · · Score: 1
      No, I believe the criterion for judging when speciation has occurred is when a specimen of one species can no longer successfully interbreed with a specimen of its progenitor species. So since mutants can have offspring with normal humans, mutants aren't really a different species.

      At least I seem to recall reading that in some nitpicking flamewar on talk.origins.

    3. Re:Not too difficult to decide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wrong, mate. They're consistently interfertile.
      Us's 'n 'thals, theoretically, weren't.
      No luck there.

    4. Re:Not too difficult to decide by MonTemplar · · Score: 1

      I know I would... Id undress Rogue and then.... Never you mind.

      Uh-huh, you'd go 'Urk!' and get real sickly real quick the minute you touched her. Bad choice. :)

      --
      -MT.
  40. If the X-Men aren't human... by digity · · Score: 1

    then what the hell is a Ken doll?

    Great, now Mattel's gonna SLAPP my ass.

  41. Look at the bright side.. by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... at least Michael Jackson will have to pay taxes now.

    1. Re:Look at the bright side.. by tribguru · · Score: 1

      Do you think that any court of law would find Michael Jackson human anymore?

  42. what about barbie ? by gmack · · Score: 1, Redundant

    "The judge found that Kraven exhibited "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs.""

    This begs the question .. if exaggerated musles make craven nonhuman

  43. 2 questions by Chris+Canfield · · Score: 1

    Could we at least describe them as "naturalized" humans? It feels wrong that Marvel the company is more human than the X-men.

    The official definition of a member of a species is one who can successfully interbreed, hence huskies are of the same species as poodles, whereas cats cannot. Has Marvel addressed this key question?

    --
    This Sig is a mnemonic device designed to allow you to recognize this author in the future.
    1. Re:2 questions by MrLint · · Score: 1

      not only is this teribly confusing but downright silly, i know its baout taxes. but why should 'human' dolls be taxed differnetly.. whats the point? Do they have to be anatomiclly correct to be "human-like"? This begs the bigger question.. is a real doll a human doll or an action figure?:)

    2. Re:2 questions by BabyDave · · Score: 1

      [Insert obligatory "Corporations f**k people on a daily basis" joke here]

    3. Re:2 questions by mmol_6453 · · Score: 1

      Naw...she's a hot bunny who plays wicked basketball.

      Whoops...I forgot. Don't call her "doll."

      --
      What's this Submit thingy do?
    4. Re:2 questions by Chris+Canfield · · Score: 1

      Agreed. A doll is a likeness of a human being for use in play. A doll is not a human being. The characters that the dolls are based on are not human beings. (Çeci n'est pas une pipe) All dolls are characters based on likenesses of things that are based on likenesses of human beings, be they Barbies, Kens, or Spawn. Otherwise one could easily argue that the Street Fighter dolls are based on video games, not people, the A-team is based on TV images, not people, Barbie is based on advertising stereotypes of the 50's, not people...

      The X-men certainly are "likenesses" of human beings, in the same way that Superman, Ultraman, Spiderman, and Ryoko are all "likenesses" of human beings. This is ridiculous.

      Real dolls are made in San Marcos, California, and are therefore not subject to tariff.

      --
      This Sig is a mnemonic device designed to allow you to recognize this author in the future.
    5. Re:2 questions by MrLint · · Score: 1

      I *heart* Ryoko ;)

    6. Re:2 questions by vsync64 · · Score: 1
      The X-men certainly are "likenesses" of human beings, in the same way that Superman, Ultraman, Spiderman, and Ryoko are all "likenesses" of human beings.

      Superman's not. He's from Krypton.

      --
      TO BUY A NEW CAR WOULD MAKE YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.
  44. Okay by Pros_n_Cons · · Score: 1

    This is false I was married to a woman who could shoot lightening bolts from her eyes, and fly off into the clouds, of course my wife needed a broomstick, but thats a judgement call.

    --

    -- "of course thats just my opinion, I could be wrong." --Dennis Miller
  45. Philosohpical Implication by GabrielF · · Score: 1

    *SIGH* The only thing better than good old American Science Fiction is the good old American legal system. Beyond this being a hopelessly stupid case (can you imagine being paid $400 an hour to observe a judge taking an action-figures clothes off?) the philosohpical implications are pretty nasty. Basically this judge is saying that in order to be human you have to have physical human characteristics. Forget about Data, or artificial intelligence, or a more advanced biological form of Homo Sapien, no matter what is in your "soul" if you don't LOOK human, you aren't.

  46. Wonder what he would think about this mutant? by PrimeNumber · · Score: 1

    Madam Tetrachromat
    Faster loading link of article in text format.

    All mutant tetrachromats are female, so keep your eye on em! :)

  47. what about barbie? by gmack · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "The judge found that Kraven exhibited "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs.""

    This begs the question .. if exaggerated musles make craven nonhuman than what about Barbie's extremely small waist size?

    1. Re:what about barbie? by The_K4 · · Score: 1

      Ok, has this judge ever seen an arnold schwarzenegger movie? Would his "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs." make him non-human?

    2. Re:what about barbie? by aiabx · · Score: 1

      Schwarzenegger? Definitely non-human.
      -aiabx

      --
      Just this guy, you know?
    3. Re:what about barbie? by BgJonson79 · · Score: 1

      Isn't it what all women should be aiming for? ;-)

      --

      There are four boxes used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order.

    4. Re:what about barbie? by zapfie · · Score: 1

      Yeah, if you want a nation of sickly females with low self esteem, sure. I know you meant what you said in the context of a joke, but the image of what is accepted as beautiful in this country is very distorted, and has led to a lot of people punishing their bodies to try to reach an artificial goal. We would be better off with a Barbie with realistic, healthy proportions.

      --
      slashdot!=valid HTML
    5. Re:what about barbie? by Lemmeoutada+Collecti · · Score: 1

      Does this mean that Terminator action figures aren't human? What about He-Man, Mr. T (Ba Barcus), Hulk Hogan, The Rock, etc... makes you wonder...

      --

      You can have it fast, accurate, or pretty. Pick any 2.
    6. Re:what about barbie? by susano_otter · · Score: 4, Interesting

      You say this like you're the only one who's ever figured it out. Since there's already been a whole Simpsons episode devoted to it, you can safely assume everybody already knows about the problem. Here's a question from the current state of the conversation: Is the rise in American obesity some kind of "Barbie backlash"?

      --

      Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.

    7. Re:what about barbie? by YrWrstNtmr · · Score: 1

      BArbie has been estimated at measurments of 40-18-32

      Non-human indeed

    8. Re:what about barbie? by zapfie · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      I don't recall caring what you thought.

      --
      slashdot!=valid HTML
    9. Re:what about barbie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yet why is it that the US is having obesity problems when obesity is supposed to now be normal?

    10. Re:what about barbie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      oh, I get it. You're fat and ugly.

    11. Re:what about barbie? by zapfie · · Score: 1

      Simply because there are obesity issues does not mean that there aren't also issues with the opposite.

      --
      slashdot!=valid HTML
    12. Re:what about barbie? by be-fan · · Score: 1

      I'm all for healthy proportions (in fact, I think supermodels in general are too skinny and prefer a body type like Kirsten Dunst to say Kate Moss). But have you *seen* people lately? Being too skinny is hardly what the general population needs to be worrying about at this point. And I'm talking about both girls and guys, lest you think I'm being unfair.

      --
      A deep unwavering belief is a sure sign you're missing something...
    13. Re:what about barbie? by efflux · · Score: 5, Informative

      This begs the question.

      Does anyone know the name for the logical fallacy of incorrectly attributing a logical fallacy to an argument as a counter argument?

      Or perhaps I'm missing where the judge assumed the conclusion. As far as I can tell Judge Barzilay's argument goes as follows:
      1) "Kraven exhibit[s] 'highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs.'"
      2) To have exaggerated or extra-human traits is to be non-human
      therefore, Kraven is non-human.

      Of course, I think being made of plastic is quite inhuman in itself.

      --
      Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. -- Walt Whitman
    14. Re:what about barbie? by Sneftel · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, right, we're all getting fat because we're mad at Barbie for being thin. Something tells me that "the current state of the conversation" you're referring to is heavily influenced by hallucinogens.

      --
      The opinions stated herein do not necessarily represent those of anybody at all. Deal with it.
    15. Re:what about barbie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey, I resemble that remark!

    16. Re:what about barbie? by mOdQuArK! · · Score: 1

      Is there actually enough space in the abdomen for internal organs with measurements like that?

    17. Re:what about barbie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Does anyone know the name for the logical fallacy of incorrectly attributing a logical fallacy to an argument as a counter argument?

      The poster was not making an argument, so this cannot be a fallacy. It's just a simple failure to use the language properly.

      If he were making an argument, it would probably fall under Factual Error.

    18. Re:what about barbie? by machine+of+god · · Score: 1

      Is the rise in American obesity some kind of "Barbie backlash"? NEXT on sally jessie montel winfreyprah

    19. Re:what about barbie? by typewriter_monkey · · Score: 1

      What, to be 7 feet tall? sure, if we want to play basket ball....

      --
      ~Esteem runs the train of thought.~
    20. Re:what about barbie? by susano_otter · · Score: 1
      ...we're mad at Barbie for being thin.

      Well, aren't we?

      ..."the current state of the conversation" you're referring to is heavily influenced by hallucinogens.

      No, just twinkies.

      --

      Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.

    21. Re:what about barbie? by MrGeetee · · Score: 1
      Is there actually enough space in the abdomen for internal organs with measurements like that?

      Actually, yes. Corset-wearing women have been known to have waist sizes much smaller than this.

      Of course, whether the chest measurement was as large is questionable.

      --
      Your mouse has moved. Please wait while Windows restarts for the change to take effect.
    22. Re:what about barbie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Women in severe corsets have been known to die from internal injuries if they're removed too quickly. Arguably it isn't enough room for your organs, though you'll survive if you're lucky.

    23. Re:what about barbie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      nah, the metalic endo skeleton and glowing red eyes are what counts as non human.

    24. Re:what about barbie? by Rogue+Redman · · Score: 1
      Barbie is a class of her own... Brainwashing for little kids 101 to be exact...

      After all, 98% of girls with Barbies at a young age are prone to fits of dislike for their figure more powerful than the average girl.

  48. the law is weird by enos · · Score: 1

    It always amazes me how issues are sometimes settled using laws that have nothing to do with the original question. Who would have thought that a tax law would be used to determine if Wolverine is human?

    --
    boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse
    1. Re:the law is weird by nochops · · Score: 1

      Good point.

      I also wonder why there's a different tax rate on "human" versus other toys.

      --
      "A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
  49. Must... Lash... Out.... by dr_dank · · Score: 4, Funny

    Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    No,it means HE AIN'T REAL!

    Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to walk my Incredible Hulk.

    --
    Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    1. Re:Must... Lash... Out.... by adrenalinerush · · Score: 1
      Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to walk my Incredible Hulk.

      It's a poodle. Put it on delicate.

      Your poodle is named "Incredible Hulk?"

  50. All I can say is... by nochops · · Score: 1

    Holy crap.
    These are toys, not people. Weather deemed "human" or not, they are not alive.

    Are these people so engrossed in this fantasy life that this ruling concerns them? If so, why don't they just light up the bat signal or whatever and have their X-Men go take care of this judge?

    Oh, that's right....they're not real. i almost forgot.

    --
    "A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
    1. Re:All I can say is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      +1 Spirit
      -1 Reading Comprehension

    2. Re:All I can say is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because of the wording of the law, the judge had to rule not on the toys but on the characters. If they were real they'd still be considered inhuman, and for reasons I find shockingly superficial from someone who's supposed to be able to think deeply about principles and consequences. I'm not concerned about the fictional X-Men, but about unusual real people who her line comes awfully close to.

    3. Re:All I can say is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And all I can say is...learn how to RTFA!

  51. Non Issue by limekiller4 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Summary: Marvel wanted the items to be declared non-human to shoehorn them into an arbitrary category that incurred less import tax.

    This is an affront to the X-Men theme of intolerance in only the most semantical, BS way imaginable.

    --
    My .02,
    Limekiller
    1. Re:Non Issue by 91degrees · · Score: 1

      Yes. It is a non-issue. It's just sort of funny. Read the article. Read the comments. Laugh. We know it doesn't matter. This is just news for nerds. Not stuff that matters.

  52. This is a Travesty! by Rayonic · · Score: 1

    We must protect the rights of Fictional-Americans, lest their rights be trampled on like so many subscription inserts!

    If we don't defend their rights, Who Will Be Next?

    1. Re:This is a Travesty! by nochops · · Score: 2, Funny

      In related news, attorney Johnathon F. Spunkelmuncher is spearheading a class-action lawsuit against the United States of A. The plaintifs, who will heretofore be known as "Cabbage Patch Kids" contend that they were sold into slavery by toy stores nationwide. Millions of little girls abused the plaintifs in the 1980's and now they want to be compensated...Tape at 11:00.

      --
      "A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
    2. Re:This is a Travesty! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Da Judge's ruling nestles a snake which guarantees that, when neat or not-so-neat manipulations be done upon us in the immediate future, or upon our children, friends, or whatever - there will be legal basis to consider them, legally, as not "enemy combatants", err..., I mean, not Human.

      Still referring to that judge's ruling, peoples "non-humanity" shall henceforth be partially determined by their exagerated appearance and skills.

      It's the same logic that amply blessed legal sterilization of "subnormals" throughout the 20th century, USA included.

      Elephant-men, geeks, freaks, blockheads, and all others : beware. Evil creeps in high places.

  53. This is insane by verch · · Score: 1

    The fact that anyone was upset about this is very disturbing to me. Marvel wanted to get their action figures classified as 'toys' instead of 'dolls' so they could pay less tariff. Whoopee. Fans are 'up in arms'? Give me a break.

  54. yet again by Spytap · · Score: 1

    Once again, the US government in it's narrow-minded thinking chooses ot exclude an entire race of people just for being different...irony that it happen on MLK day.

  55. The title could have also been: by geekoid · · Score: 1

    X-Men fans demand to pay more for there toys!

    Jeez people, it's just a ploy by Marvel to get a lower tarif on the toys that are made in China.

    And finally,
    Jeez people, its a fictional work, not your Opus.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    1. Re:The title could have also been: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      X-Men fans demand to pay more for there toys!

      You even got the Slashdot spelling right..

    2. Re:The title could have also been: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sadder yet that - since the judge is supposed to have average to above-average intellect, education, and understanding; and being it quite improbable that the judge in question never saw any of the "Planet of The Apes" movies (or anything similar, from "Dr. Moreau's Island" and "The Day the Earth Stopped", onwards), let alone never studied philosophy or history - it logically follows that said judge has cravenly submitted to degenerate evil's dictates on the matter.

      A judge's qualifications demand that consider consequences of his judgements upon present and future society. And humanity.

      In spirit, this is the same attitude that caused jews, blacks, indians, non-christians, non-neander..., er, "non-whites", non-greeks, etc. to be considered "non-human", by judges, back through the ages.

      That's why, no matter how many "Bi-Centennial Man" type stories are cranked out, and how corny they might seem, they will always be necessary and will never be enough.

      This is the sort of thing judges should get right. This is the sort of thing judicial systems should keep from happening. "In dubio pro re", keeps popping into mind. Similar principle can be traced back to Hammurabi's Code - a poor freeman paid less for lesser transgressions than landowners, or religious or royal officials did.

      No judge can ignore that his job always has repercussions, contributes to precedent and lends itself to cause from then onward.

      Justice, and humanity, have been done a grievous disservice.

  56. no longer human? by peter_gzowski · · Score: 1

    To Brian Wilkinson, editor of the online site X-Fan (x-mencomics.com/xfan/), Marvel's argument is appalling. The X-Men -- mere creatures? "This is almost unthinkable," he says. "Marvel's super heroes are supposed to be as human as you or I. They live in New York. They have families and go to work. And now they're no longer human?"

    Somehow I doubt the X-Men are as human as I am. They live in glossy 8.5x11 pages, not NY. They have subplots, not families. And they are no longer (nor have they ever been) REAL. This is beside the point, though. A toy company wants payback for tariffs because it thinks its product was incorrectly classified as representative of humans. I think its safe to say that the X-Men have some elements outside of humanity.

    --
    "Now gluttony and exploitation serves eight!" - TV's Frank
    1. Re:no longer human? by bewilkinson · · Score: 1

      actually, I was quoted out of context. When Neil contacted me, my first reaction was that it was an odd decision, but ironic given the theme of the X-Men books. I could honestly care less. Neil asked me what fan reaction would be like if this sort of thing were taking place in the comic. Most fans won't care, but if they did, that is how they would feel. Other than that, I could give less than two shets.

  57. Wolverine's 'Age" by ultraright · · Score: 2, Informative

    I hate to be picky, but I have to point out this line in the WSJ article, even if it just proves what a geek I am.

    "Wolverine has known many forms in his more than 40 years as a Marvel character."

    Wolverine's first appearance was in 1974, in The Incredible Hulk #180. That would give him about 28 years in the Marvel universe.

  58. Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Andy_R · · Score: 5, Insightful

    According to the plot of Superman, he shares no DNA with us, he just happens to be roughly the same shape because evolution on Kryton followed a Parallel path.

    On the other hand, Spider-man IS human, in fact according to the plot of the comic, he was a perfectly normal person up to the point in the story that he was bitten. Peter Parker dolls definitely should have been subject to the tax, according to the (admittedly very dumb) rules.

    --
    A pizza of radius z and thickness a has a volume of pi z z a
    1. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by CableModemSniper · · Score: 1

      Yeah but I thought after he was bitten his DNA was recombinant (is that even a word? I dunno) with that of a spider. I would think that would make him inhuman. At least in the sense of homo sapiens.

      --
      Why not fork?
    2. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      After the dying, radioactive spider bit Parker, Parker was still very much interested in girls, and very much UNinterested in consuming flies.

    3. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by AoT · · Score: 1

      According to the movie this would be the case, but in the comic he was bitten by an atomically irradiated spider which cause the changes. also in the comic he didn't shoot web out of his arm, he made web slingers himself. the only super powers he had were wall climbing and strength(at one point he was stronger than hulk) considering that the action figures(dolls) for spiderman are much more muscular than he ever was in the movie, but match his comic book physique quite well, he would be human.

    4. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by CableModemSniper · · Score: 1

      Well I was basing my comment on the (apocryphal?) cartoon...I know he doesn't shoot web out of wrists in the canon.

      --
      Why not fork?
    5. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Jace+of+Fuse! · · Score: 3, Insightful

      You are correct. Very dumb rules indeed. Think about the precedent this is going to set.

      Picard and Riker dolls = Human
      Data and Worf = Not Human

      Tax the first two, but not the second?

      Or how about this...

      Alien from Venus Barbi...?

      This rule leaves too many loopholes, and more importantly doesn't explain WHY something that is "Human" should be taxed more than something that is, say, "Something Else".

      If something is superhuman (such as Spiderman) does it get supertaxed?

      --

      "Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"

      Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
    6. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by IndependentVik · · Score: 3, Informative

      When was Spider-Man ever stronger than the Hulk? Even in their very first encounter, when the Hulk unwittingly attacked him due to trickery from the Green Goblin (yes, I'm aware of how much I'm embarrasing myself by posting this) the Hulk was clearly the stronger of the two.

      AFAIK, the only time Spider-Man was stronger than ole' Hulky was when he temporarily inherited the powers of Captain Universe.

      --
      I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
    7. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well the article says that both classifications are no longer taxed at all.

      So no, superhuman spiderman wouldn't be supertaxed.

    8. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Alex+Belits · · Score: 1

      Riker? He is lecherous far beyond human limits, so he should be a "nonhuman creature", too.

      --
      Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
    9. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by unitron · · Score: 1
      Interested in girls, not in flies.

      So what you're saying is that he's still straight?

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    10. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i'm curious to know how many emails Neil King Jr. will get from angry geeks explaining that superman is, in fact, not human. A few (well maybe just me) are probably emailing congressional representatives to complain about the grave injustice inflicted upon Superman by being classified as a mere human.

    11. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by f97tosc · · Score: 1

      Peter Parker dolls definitely should have been subject to the tax, according to the (admittedly very dumb) rules

      Yes, the rules are very dumb. The more different tariff levels you have, the more you are going to have cases like this. If there are different levels for toys and dolls (!) then you can rest assured that any money generated by the tariff will go directly to feed the bureaucracy that is going to examine the products and fight all the battles.

      Oh, one more thing. Given that they have these stupid rules, it is probably best to rule by apperances, and not by the story told behind each item.

      "No, this is not a sheet of steel, it is a doll of a human who can transform himself, according to this story I have written"

      Tor

    12. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Xaoswolf · · Score: 1
      Perhaps they met in the park, and the hulk saw some butterflies and pretty flowers so he went to his happy place. And as we all know, when Hulk not mad, Hulk not smash.

      I'm guessing that seconds later, he saw some litter, and beat the snot out of Spider-Man.

    13. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      LOTR- Aragorn- human and taxable

      Hobbits- not human and not taxaxble

      Elves- not human and not taxable

      Wizards- came across the sea, but are they human,and taxable?

    14. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 1

      I'm under the impression that the rules have since been changed, and this is largely about tarriffs in the past.

    15. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 1

      Well, Spider-Man IS stronger than Bruce Banner. Of course that doesn't say much, since the average Slashdotter is stronger than Bruce Banner!

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
    16. Re:Superman is not SUPPOSED to be human! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ah, but the duties are no longer charged:

      "Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories."

  59. Strange precedent... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    A lot of the judge's arguments that were referenced toward the end of the article suggested that she looked at how realistic the figures were in comparison to human attributes.

    Could this be a precedent that Mattel could use to collect past duties by having Barbie classified as non-human? I've seen freak-of-nature, steroid-pumped bodybuilders who could pass for some of those X-Men action figures but I have yet to see a woman with Barbie's build.

  60. How surreal by divide+overflow · · Score: 1


    Damn...sometimes life seems like nothing more than a perverse source of material for episodes of "The Simpsons."

  61. the real problem by frovingslosh · · Score: 1
    Why would any supposedl inteligent reader here let the lie continue that this is an issue of are the x-man human, or is an x-man figure a doll or a toy? If Barbie is a doll, is Ken? Is GI Joe? Is Professor X? Would Batman, who has no super powers, be a doll and not a toy?

    This is all absurd. The real problem here is that the United States has absurd laws that punish the consumer and some companies and give special favors to other businesses who have paid off corrupt politicians by continuing the lie that there should be any difference in import tax on a Barbie toy than an X-men toy. Marvel didn't have the balls to argue this in court, they played along with the system and let the big issue that the taxes are blaitantly unfair and uneven. They were rewarded for playing along and not questioning the fundamental corrupt system by beng allowed to pay the lower tax.

    --
    I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
    1. Re:the real problem by thelenm · · Score: 1

      If Barbie is a doll, is Ken?

      Hmmmm... I'm not sure. Obviously we need to subject them to "comprehensive examinations", including "the need to remove the clothes of the figure."

      --
      Use Ctrl-C instead of ESC in Vim!
  62. Slow news day? by bopo · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The article is actually on the front page of the deadtree version of the WSJ, a place I really thought I'd never see a little plastic Wolvie.

    It's either an incredibly slow news day over there, or the wacky assistant-front page editor is filling in while the boss takes a three-day weekend or something. Wow.

    --
    "Understand you're having a little Jimmy Page trouble."
    1. Re:Slow news day? by Spunk · · Score: 1

      It is a holiday today, you know.

    2. Re:Slow news day? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      wsj typically runs a quirky little story on their front page, in a center position called the "a-hed" after the shape of the border around the headline. they recently published a collection of a-hed stories. bonus points for the /.er who posts the title of the collection.

    3. Re:Slow news day? by daveisoverlord · · Score: 1

      It's either an incredibly slow news day over there, or the wacky assistant-front page editor is filling in while the boss takes a three-day weekend or something.

      Or, you obviously never read the Wall Street Journal.

      As others have posted, they always have an offbeat story there. It's always the first story I read.

      It's a shame I read your post 10 minutes after I used up all my mod points. How the hell this got modded up to +5 when you're talking straight out your ass is beyond me.

      --
      The perception of reality is more important than reality itself.
    4. Re:Slow news day? by ckd · · Score: 1
      wsj typically runs a quirky little story on their front page, in a center position called the "a-hed" after the shape of the border around the headline. they recently published a collection of a-hed stories. bonus points for the /.er who posts the title of the collection.

      Floating Off the Page: The Best Stories from the Wall Street Journal's Middle Column. A wonderful way to dispel the idea that the WSJ doesn't have a sense of humor.

    5. Re:Slow news day? by msouth · · Score: 1

      another way to dispel that myth (if it exists) is to read the marketing page. I remember seeing a headline about a "rash of diaper fires" in landfills or something. wsj is a great publication.

      --
      Liberty uber alles.
  63. Even more shocking by prockcore · · Score: 1

    was the related ruling that the X-Men weren't actually real.

    To Brian Wilkinson, editor of the online site X-Fan, Marvel's argument is appalling. The X-Men -- not real? "This is almost unthinkable," he says. "Marvel's super heroes are as real as you or I. They live in New York. They have families and go to work. How could they possibly be figments of someone's imagination?"

  64. The case is absurd becasue the tarif is absurd by malfunct · · Score: 1
    I don't know why there should be a different tarif rate on "dolls" vs "toys" which includes action figures. I think the problem may stem from the fact that there are dolls that are obviously toys (barbie and kin) and ones that are obviously art (the fancy porcelain ones).

    Anyways my point is that the tarif laws need to be examined to see if they categorize things the way they really want to, and when the categories are good then you won't see as many silly fights to jump from one category to another.

    --

    "You can now flame me, I am full of love,"

  65. Don't take it so seriosuly by 91degrees · · Score: 1

    It's just an amusing irony that after years fighting to convince a world that they're human in the comics, in real life the makers argue that they're not.

    Anyway, that - in itself - is the whole point. You can laugh now. Or not. It loses a bit when it gets explained.

    They make the story a little more interesting by talking to a couple of comics fans, who either take it all a little too seriously, or are simply willing to play to the stereotype to get their name in the paper. This is one of the rare cases where I'd suggest Don't RTFA.

  66. fa! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wonder if the judge will still have to deliberate over the important legal question of whether or not X-Men are fictional non-humans. I also wonder what governmental body is wasting everybody's time with this.

  67. Superman Not Human, *gasp by limekiller4 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    From the article:
    Veteran comics fan Christian Cooper, who once worked as a Marvel editor, thinks Judge Barzilay got carried away. If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself? "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    No, he's Kryptonian you nitwit. What a kneejerk reaction!

    THIS IS OVER IMPORT DUTIES CLASSIFICATION FOR CRIPES SAKE! Who gives a groundhog's fanny if they call Superman a "cup of water with a straw hanging off the end?"

    --
    My .02,
    Limekiller
    1. Re:Superman Not Human, *gasp by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      > It's much easier to mod me down than to post an intelligent reply.

      But an unintelligent post doesn't deserve an intelligent reply; hence, you will be modded into oblivian.

    2. Re:Superman Not Human, *gasp by TheKodiak · · Score: 1

      Dude, I think it's a suggestion, not a challenge.

      --
      -=Best Viewed Using [INLINE]=-
    3. Re:Superman Not Human, *gasp by jaysones · · Score: 1
      Who gives a groundhog's fanny if they call Superman a "cup of water with a straw hanging off the end?

      I bet somone here will answer that question for you.

    4. Re:Superman Not Human, *gasp by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who gives a groundhog's fanny if they call Superman a "cup of water with a straw hanging off the end?"

      Why not? After all, the last CompactFlash card I ordered from overseas made it into the country as "documents."

  68. Did anyone else think this was funny. by MrCam · · Score: 1

    Veteran comics fan Christian Cooper, who once worked as a Marvel editor, thinks Judge Barzilay got carried away. If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself?

    "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    Isn't Superman from another plannet? I think that would make him less human than anyone.

  69. lol by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    http://www.thewhig.com/webapp/sitepages/content.as p?contentid=19963&catname=Local+News

  70. Looking forward to the real thing by StefanJ · · Score: 1
    I wonder if this case will be accidentally read by legal researchers when real "are they human?" cases start hitting the courts fifteen or twenty years from now. Imagine some paralegal doing a double-take when she realizes it dealt with plastic dolls^H^H^H^H^H action figures.

    I'm kind of looking forward to cases over whether robots and uplifted meerkats and kids with tendencies toward dyslexia deleted from their genome and such are human. Cuz' It's The Business of the Future to Be Dangerous.*

    Stefan

    * Alfred North Whitehead.

  71. Not human. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Do we really need the lawyers in on this one? They're plastic for Christ's sake!!!

  72. I don't believe the judge can make a ruling, by teamhasnoi · · Score: 4, Funny
    until I see under her robe and insure that 'she' isn't some shapechanging manimal freak of nature who can see through walls and absorb my thoughts with her glowing amulet!

    Ha! Just remember Judith! I've got the Daily Bugle on my side, and if there's any funny business going on, these pictures that Parker took are going in the afternoon edition!!

    Angrily Signed with Desk Pounding Action,
    J. Jonah Jameson

  73. The official ruling... by sacolcor · · Score: 1
  74. Jean Grey by randomErr · · Score: 1

    Disclaimer: The following post contains humor like substances.

    Only a mutant could sustain a bust like Jean's for all these years.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled weblog.

    --
    You say things that offend me and I can deal with it. Can you?
  75. The Voices... by da3dAlus · · Score: 1

    Marvel issued this statement: "Don't fret, Marvel fans, our heroes are living, breathing human beings -- but humans who have extraordinary abilities ... . A decision that the X-Men figures indeed do have 'nonhuman' characteristics further proves our characters have special, out-of- this world powers."

    Did anyone else hear Stan Lee's voice in the back of their head when reading that?

    Followed by hearing comic book guy say: "Worst...comment...ever".

    --

    Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
  76. Bigotry? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just because they used to be men and changed their gender doesn't mean they are less human than we are.

    Oh wait, i thought we're talking about transvestites (EX-men)...

  77. Barbie doll is human? by roman_mir · · Score: 1

    I don't know guys, I don't believe that even Barbie doll is human. She is humanoid for sure, but the waist to breast to hip ratio shows that she could not function normally as a human being, she must be some sort of a mutant or an alien with half of normal organs and made of titanium or at least carbon fiber to support the structure above the waist.

    1. Re:Barbie doll is human? by sickmtbnutcase · · Score: 1

      Then we must rule that most female California residents and 99.9% of porn stars aren't human either. Their breast to waist ratio is far from the mean and more than 2 standard deviations off; and the damning evidence is that most male humans wouldn't touch them for fear of dying from some invisible illness....

  78. That would be Rodney King Day. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I should beat you senseless for that.

    (jus' kiddin')

  79. Ow by Nemus · · Score: 2, Interesting
    From the headline to the end of the article, the transmission that is my brain is currently lying in a smoking, smoldering heap of molten metal five miles back on the information highway.

    This is one of those articles that really raises the question "As an American, am I morally required to kill the people and politicians who make such brain numbingly stupid things possible?"

    I don't even want to know how much money was spent by the government on this case. While, yes, from a business perspective, it is an issue of some small import, this is the type of thing that should make any self-respecting judge literally throw the gavel at the plaintiffs. And I mean literally throw the gavel at them. Instead she sits around and plays house with Wolverine and Mole Man. Which is disturbing in and of it self.

    Yes, I'm sure this will be modded down, but damnit, it needed to be said.

    --
    Mod Points: Helping you keep your opinion to yourself.
    1. Re:Ow by Tackhead · · Score: 2, Insightful
      > This is one of those articles that really raises the question "As an American, am I morally required to kill the people and politicians who make such brain numbingly stupid things possible?"

      I can't speak for your moral obligations, but what burns me up is that as an American, you're not legally obliged not to kill them, you're also legally obliged to pay them for the privilege. Talk about insult to injury.

      "Them", being "accountants and lawyers", to figure out which of the 7 million words of the Internal Revenue Code (and no doubt similarly-massive Customs regs in this case) apply to you.

      In 1999, tax compliance costs in the US were $300 billion per year. The goddamn income tax collected only $650 billion that year.

      Think about that for a minute. For every $1000 in tax collected by the Federal Government, CPAs and lawyers raked in $500.

      I'll argue for lower taxes every chance I get - but I want the whole package lowered. End phaseouts. End special exemptions. Bring in a flat tax, or scrap the income tax in favor of a consumption tax. If that means my sacred ox gets gored, and I have pay $1250 to the government every year, versus $1000 to the government and $500 to a CPA, I'm still $250 ahead of the game.

      By reforming the Internal Revenue Code and eliminating this overhead, even the goddamn government would be ahead of the game. (At worst, they'd break even, considering they currently take half - $250 - of the $500 spent on compliance costs for every $1000 in taxes paid :-)

  80. What a day to post this story by ageOfWWIV · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    This is Martin Luther King Day and the best /. can come up with that remotely pays respect to it is to post an article about the subhuman consideration of fictional characters. How about we take care of issues dealing with real people in the real world first and then move onto trivial and completely fabricated realities.

    --

    ____
    ATS11=0 the secret to beating everyone else to a 1 line board.
    1. Re:What a day to post this story by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      King preached that people should "not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." Yet characters portrayed with personalities and depth have been labeled "non-human" because of how they look.

      On a more practical note, have you submitted any breaking news about technology and racism? Haven't seen any? Then what should they have posted?

  81. Self-correction by sacolcor · · Score: 1

    I hate it when the cut+paste misses. Try here instead.

  82. Stupid, stupid man by serial_crusher · · Score: 1

    I like the guy at the end that was complaining about the prospect of Superman not being considered human. He's from the planet Krypton! Humans come from Earth!

  83. Proof the humans will not accept us by avante · · Score: 1

    This is more proof that Humans are not willing to co-exist with us mutants! When will you all wake up and see that? Join us now in the fight for self-defense before it is too late!

  84. Let me get this right. by torre · · Score: 1
    So, Let me get this right.... If i go out and wear a crazy costume and perhaps adorn myself with a pair of claws ala wolverine and somebody made a doll of me ... sorry action.. ;) it wouldn't be considered human?...

    What does that say of the subject matter that it was inspired from??... to me it would be an action figure of some crazy nut that perhaps goes to the gym a tad too much... but the law would suggest otherwise seeing that its obviously not capturing a human in it's representation.

    Honestly... reading the article it seems that the judge goes out on a limb trying to justify her answers... hell... a gypsy fortuneteller that can tell you the future would not be considered human seeing that there the obvious costume and overuse of makeup would definitely not make them human.

    Sometime in the technicalities of the law the obvious gets lost.,

    But that's my 2 cents.

  85. of course they aren't human by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They're mutants jeez. Be it mutants with big racks and packages but still mutants.

  86. Why the disparity? by 91degrees · · Score: 1

    It makes no sense at all. Why should dolls be taxed at one rate, and toys at another? I think they must have got some guy who was too clever to do a simple job, so he gave as complicated a result as he could. They asked "what should be the duty on toys", and he said "Well, clearly we have several classes of toy. The basic toy should have a dity of $x. However, since a doll clearly costs us considerably more money for some unexplained reason, we should charge $y. Now then, by squaring this and taking the reciprocal......"

    The result is that we get these stupid long winded legal arguments that cost cusatoms and the court system time and money that would have been better spent on just about anything. Just work out a weighted average and apply the result to all toys and dolls.

    1. Re:Why the disparity? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      More likely, some dollmaker probably bribed Congress to change the law and impose a higher tax on (competing) imported human figures.

  87. You'd rather play with Dolls? by AntiGenX · · Score: 1
    OK, I read the article and it all comes down to whether or not they are classified as TOYS or as DOLLS. The ruling declares them as Toys. Fine. So, to all those fanboys crying foul... HAHA you want to play with dolls!

    I distincly remember playing with my G.I. Joe and Star Wars toys as a child and vehemently arguing that they were ACTION FIGURES and not dolls. Real men don't play with dolls. So X-Men fans, you should rejoice that you haven't yet another stigma to try and shrug off.

  88. Wolverine a Robot by glenrm · · Score: 1

    When in the hell was Wolverine ever a robot? There were some X-Ray pictures of his skeleton that looked very robot like and In Days of Future Past when he got blasted his skeleton looked Terminator like, but I don't think he ever looked like a robot...

  89. i don't get it by paranoos · · Score: 1

    Why is everyone making such a fuss about these "mute ants" ... since when do we care about a bunch of insects who can't talk?

    1. Re:i don't get it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "A Bug's Life" could have used a few "mute ants", that's for sure.

  90. Silly by endrek · · Score: 1

    First off, yes there is plenty of irony in both the descision and marvel pushing it Second, I do disagree with it and think the rulling is questionable and probably stupid but three Who really cares too much. They are toys and the ruling does allow them and "their message" to be spread easier. It toys, not real people. Cool it folks until real mutants start showing up. By the standards the judge seemed to use, most people with disabilities would be classified non human probably, so this clearly is following the real world i do think the judge's desciosion is very questionable, but lets cool it we've alreayd proven that the real world is more forgiving than said judge Relax

  91. This was ridiculed in 1905: "Pigs is pigs" by fritzson · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Ellis Parker Butler wrote the story "Pigs is pigs" in 1905 about the government trying to tax two guinea pigs as "pigs" rather than pets. The guinea pigs, housed in the railway station until the issue is resolved by the government, reproduce at a geometric rate overwhelming the station.

    Disney made a marvelous little cartoon of the story in 1954.

  92. The judge was right by fudgefactor7 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I've read many times, in many different places, that the superheroes and villians of the Marvel Universe are *not* human at all because of their slight forward step in the evolutionary process. We are 'homo sapiens' they (collectively) are 'homo superior.'

    Superman (and any other alien--and yes, I know full well Superman is a DC creation, so I'm not mixing companies here) would fall into the family of 'extraterrestrialis.'

    So with that, it's clear that they are not human, and their plasic representations, although possessing humanoid forms, are not humans (as are you and me.)

  93. You are all Freight by evilviper · · Score: 1
    The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground. Given all that, Judge Barzilay concluded, the Mole Man was more mole than man.

    As that description covers most geeks, it would appear everyone now has to use freight services, rather than human transports. That's right, you have to take freight elevators, and when traveling, be stowed away under the seat or in the overhead compartments.

    Despite the effects of this ruling, no-one but the EFF is appealing. Members of the ACLU say they are quite happy with the arrangement.
    --
    Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
  94. Superman HUMAN?!?!! by CODiNE · · Score: 1

    "If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself?"

    Ummm... no... Superman is definately NOT human, he's from the planet Krypton, DUHH! (Thumps arm against chest) ;)

    --
    Cwm, fjord-bank glyphs vext quiz
  95. Oh the humanity! by Tellalian · · Score: 2, Funny

    Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories.

    Captain Pointless has saved us yet again!

    End communication!

  96. Mr. Spock by wideBlueSkies · · Score: 1

    So since Spock is half human/half vulcan, for trade purposes is he human or not?

    What about Guinan? Is she human? Nope. Just looks it.

    Stormtroopers? Are they human? Well that depends. Was Jango Fett human? Even if he is (probably) do cloned humans count as dolls or toys?

    I could go on like this all day...

    --
    Huh?
    1. Re:Mr. Spock by reidbold · · Score: 1

      Clone [toys|dolls] sould obviously be banned.

      --
      -Reid
    2. Re:Mr. Spock by unitron · · Score: 2, Funny

      Whatever, just so that the tariff on Jar-Jar is too high for him ever to enter the country.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  97. This is a Bad Thing by Jack9 · · Score: 1

    I fail to see how this is sensationalist. This ruling will be used in the future as a previous case reference to exclusionary reasoning for determining humanity. That is specifically bad.

    --

    Often wrong but never in doubt.
    I am Jack9.
    Everyone knows me.
  98. What does this say... by dandelion_wine · · Score: 2, Funny

    about the Marilyn Manson action figure I just picked up?

    1. Re:What does this say... by frank_adrian314159 · · Score: 2, Funny
      Marilyn Manson action figure?

      Dude! You didn't buy an action figure! You bought a f*ckin' DOLL!!! The judge said so. I don't know about you... Although I guess it's OK if you're a girl or something.

      --
      That is all.
    2. Re:What does this say... by carpe_noctem · · Score: 1

      ...a fool and his money are soon parted?

      --
      "Quoting famous computer scientists out of context is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in programming." - K
    3. Re:What does this say... by dandelion_wine · · Score: 1

      It's true, he wears a lot of makeup for an action figure...

  99. WW Ultra Lord do? by On+Lawn · · Score: 1

    Its not a doll its an action figure! There's a difference.... Your just picking on me becuase you're insecure.

    _________________________
    OnRoad Tempering detroit iron with our own hot air since, well, last week.

  100. Something to know about the WSJ by MerlynEmrys67 · · Score: 1

    As a long term WSJ reader (my dad has subscribed me since I was in college, I highly recomend it as a paper) there are some formatting issues to know about this article. The WSJ has for as long as I know about run a human interest/humorous article in the center column of the front page. These usually have SOME tie to the business world, but are selected I believe for whimsy, humor value. This article was todays Page 1 center column article, take it for what it is worth.

    --
    I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
  101. Come walk with me out in left field for a sec by DoomHaven · · Score: 1

    Just a thought:

    Now, ultimately, the science behind the human species mutating such that super-powered, stable, "mutants" a la the X-men is pretty far-fetched.

    However, let's say that there is a finite, non-zero, but incredibly small chance that it *could* happen.

    If so, would this ruling have any precedent if such a case, in the future, where human mutants actually exist and try to claim equal rights as human beings?

    --
    "Don't mind me cutting myself on Occam's Razor"
  102. His website seems to have been hacked... by mbessey · · Score: 1

    I just tried to get to mutantwatch, and I got re-directed to some damned pro-mutant website.

    Somebody has got to DO something about the mutant threat.

  103. Nice try, troll. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The only reason hundreds of thousands (millions?) of dollars got spent on lawyers is because the corporation was fighting having to pay its taxes.

    If people would simply pay their share, and quit trying to get special treatment, taxes would be lower all around.

  104. I can't believe I'm arguing this but... by Fjord · · Score: 1

    The fact is that the X-men weren't humans. They were mutants. Their genetic sequence was different enough from homo sapien sapien such that they had amazing powers unknown to the human world in the same way that we have amazing powers unknown to the cromagnon world. X-men and other mutants are the next step in our eveolution.

    The real issue at stake in their universe is whether or not the framers of the constitution would include the X-men under "We the people" and other such important phrases. The constitution talks of "people," not humans. I feel that yes, the X-men are people and should have the same constitutional protections as other people, but they aren't human.

    --
    -no broken link
  105. no shit by tsphere · · Score: 1

    people need to stop and fucking think for like a second. of _course_ they're not human. spider-man is a genetically mutated metahuman, wolverine's a cyborg augment, etc...

    my favorite quote:

    "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    no you moron, it means he's a SPACE ALIEN.

    his kryptonian biological makeup was enhanced by the light from earth's yellow sun, remember?

    batman and robin, on the other hand, are just a couple of best buds who wear capes.

    this ain't religion people, it's law. just read the damn books and the answer is fairly obvious.

    --
    Tetris rules.
  106. WSJ Column 4 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    For those who don't know, the WSJ has had a long tradion (for at least as long as I can remember) of carrying an 'eclectic' story in Column 4 of the front page. Over the years I've seen stories as offbeat as the underground passion for eating illegal fungi in Europe.

    So while the stories are 'serious' in the sense that they adhere to the same standards of journalism as the rest of the paper, they are meant to be amusing.

    In other words, there's an implied smiley on column 4.

  107. I wonder if I'm human... by Cyb3rt3k · · Score: 1

    Who actually defines what's human? Are deformed people not human?

    I was born with a genetic disease which makes my chest curved in, called Marfan Syndrome. It's not horrible, you only notice when I take off my shirt, and even there it's not disgusting, it's just odd, and I'm very pale, enough to scare doctors, and my limbs and fingers are a bit longer than normal, and my knees and thumbs are double jointed so I can bend in odd ways, and I have a fast metabolism so I never really get fat, I stay really skinny, but the tradeoff is my heart could literally blow up someday... Add all that together, does that mean I'm not human? That'd be pretty cool, actually, apart from the fact that I'd probably have less rights then a dog or a cat.

    Abe Lincoln was a Marfan, he might not have been a human either!

  108. thank goodness! by tx_mgm · · Score: 1

    sure, they're supposed to be human...blah blah blah...morality of x-men...blah blah blah. but if you get to the heart of the ruling, it is EXTREMELY relieving to know that for all of these years Ive been playing with toys and not dolls!

    --
    Gentlemen...BEHOLD!
    -Dr. Weird
  109. what it should mean by siewsk · · Score: 1

    Marvel subsidiary Toy Biz Inc. pushed Judge Barzilay to declare its heroes nonhuman so it could win a lower duty rate on action figures imported from China in the mid-1990s. At the time, tariffs put higher duties on dolls than toys. According to the U.S. tariff code, human figures are dolls, while figures representing animals or "creatures," such as monsters and robots, are deemed toys. The problem is with the intepretation of the line "human figures are dolls". What it should be taken to mean is that any figure which resembles a human being even one which dresses up strangely should be consider a doll. Thus wolverine is a doll. ie. man in funny suit with fake claws sticking out. Note: that the actual story and history of the character is irrelevant. It's what the figure resembles. Spiderman is a doll. Moleman is a doll. Man with growth disorder. The thing is a monster.

  110. Evolution by mecajinatos · · Score: 1

    Monkey ==> Homo Sapiens ==> X-Men
    Not Human ==> Human ==> Not Human

    The philosohpical cuestion is. If you are more evoluted than a human, have you human rights?

    How the law will be with other intelligent species?

    I think money will rule.

  111. but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the X-men are the evolution of humanity current humans are therefor no more human than X-men compared to humans 1000 years ago...

  112. The X-Men... by Gigacorpse · · Score: 1

    have sucked real bad, for a long time now. Ever since the team of Claremont/Byrne/Austin left the book, it has been a shade of what it once was. But it will keep chugging along so long as the kiddies keep buying.

    1. Re:The X-Men... by MonTemplar · · Score: 1

      have sucked real bad, for a long time now. Ever since the team of Claremont/Byrne/Austin left the book, it has been a shade of what it once was. But it will keep chugging along so long as the kiddies keep buying.

      Sorry, that ain't stuff that matters. Take it over to rec.arts.comics.marvel.xbooks please, you'll be in good company over there. :)

      --
      -MT.
  113. Interesting... by Peterus7 · · Score: 1
    But what does it mean? What's the point? So X-men toys aren't considered human?

    But does that mean they can sell naked x-men toys, because they 'aren't human?'

    1. Re:Interesting... by hawkestein · · Score: 2, Interesting

      According to the article, import duties were once different for "dolls" and "toys". If the X-Men toys were considered humans, they'd be classified as dolls and subject to a tax rate. This is why the issue came to court, to rule on how they should be classified.

      --
      -- Will quantum computers run imaginary-time operating systems?
  114. Oh please. It's just govt. vs. corporate hypocrisy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I think it's great that our government sued the corporate bastards for being the hypocrites that they are... emphasizing as a #1 philosophical point in the X-Men storyline that the mutant X-Men, despite phobias from society were human just like the rest of us... and then when it came to tax purposes, declaring just the opposite.

    A Federal suit was worth every penny in my book.

    --A US taxpayer who has read maybe a dozen issues of the X-Men and hasn't seen the movie

  115. Re:2 questions / 1 answer by SlowMovingTarget · · Score: 1

    After a throrough examination by the judge, she determined the X-Men figures could not, in fact, interbreed with humans.

  116. Tax free!! by SuperKendall · · Score: 1

    No, it just means no more income tax!! I wonder if the tax break is retroactive...

    Time to look for spiders around old uranium mines.

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  117. What? by autopr0n · · Score: 1

    Since the subcontracted to company (not marvel, I think it was Toy-Biz) won, they'll be reimbursed.

    --
    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
  118. No, no no... by autopr0n · · Score: 1

    All this means is that the company you sell your action figure rights to will only be taxed at 6% rather then 12% for importing them from china, should they travel back in time and import them when these taxes were still in effect.

    I'm assuming that your super power had something to do with time travel...

    --
    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
  119. What does this say? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    hmm... how about:

    What in the would would make you pick up (let along PAY FOR) a Marilyn Manson action figure?

    [backtrace a bit] they make Marilyn Manson action figures?

    And to think that it's a pain in the butt to find Marilyn Monroe dolls...

  120. MOD ASSHOLE PARENT UP! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He's having a bad day.

    1. Re:MOD ASSHOLE PARENT UP! by zapfie · · Score: 1

      Thank you, I'm glad someone noticed.

      --
      slashdot!=valid HTML
    2. Re:MOD ASSHOLE PARENT UP! by JimFromJersey · · Score: 1

      ummm I think they were refering to you.

      --
      between the greater and lesser infinities sleep the dreams undreamt
    3. Re:MOD ASSHOLE PARENT UP! by zapfie · · Score: 1

      I was well aware they were referring to me.

      --
      slashdot!=valid HTML
  121. this is a sci-fi convetion gone . . . . by kraksmoka · · Score: 2, Interesting

    horribly, horribly wrong. why in hells name is a judge spending taxpayer's money on deciding this!!! truth is stranger than fiction.

    --
    "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste." - Rahm Emanuel
  122. Re:"the WSJ is one of the best in the industry" by writertype · · Score: 0
    Of course it's "better". Who would you rather talk to: The Register, who might decide to bite the hand that's feeding it (a story) and call the source an arrogant bastard in print; or the WSJ, which commands more readers who buy stock on the advice of their brokers (read: sheep), and who generally receive exclusives based on the size of said audience?

    That said, the WSJ does indeed have fresh and interesting stories and writing. Just don't assume that the first time you see a story in the WSJ is the first time that story has actually appeared in print.

  123. We know, we know by kboy1 · · Score: 1


    It seems a great many people feel the need to remind comic book fans that the characters aren't real; we know.

    This case has nothing to do with such delusions. Fictional characters can still be classified as depictions of humans or non-humans. Winnie the Pooh - non-human. Sherlock Holmes - human. Neither real. Clear enough?

    Having gotten that out of the way, I think it is a genuinely interesting case; silly on the face of it, but it does say interesting things about how narrowly concepts of humanity can be defined.

    I agree with the poster who suggested that if Kraven isn't human because of his exaggerated muscle tone and leopard-vest, then Barbie is DEFINITELY not human. :)

  124. Never Grow Up? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    To Brian Wilkinson, editor of the online site X-Fan (x-mencomics.com/xfan/), Marvel's argument is appalling. The X-Men -- mere creatures? "This is almost unthinkable," he says. "Marvel's super heroes are supposed to be as human as you or I.

    Yes, but you should note that THE X-MEN ARE A CARTOON!

    The "outcry" against this is so astoundingly retarded that I had to respond. Seriously, even the Simpson's Comic-Book Guy wouldn't give a fark about this.....

    Funny about the judge's inspection though...

    ---
    Posted as AC for Obvious Reasons...

  125. A link to the Judge's 32-page opinion (plus mine) by LinuxParanoid · · Score: 3, Insightful


    I went to see if I could find Judge's opinion online. Indeed, it is! In PDF form, I bring you Toy Biz, Inc. v. United States.

    For those of you decrying our taxpayer dollars going to waste on such a suit, it appears some at least is being used to make such decisions more accessible, a fact which I hope we can all agree upon.

    Personally, I think it was worth every penny to expose a fantastic example of corporate hypocracy. I read maybe a dozen X-Men comics (and didn't see the movie) and the main philosophical point I saw that the series revolved around (besides raw action) was that the X-Men should in fact be considered human despite their 'mutant' powers.

    Given that, what could be more hypocritical than turning around and claiming that, while for storyline purposes the X-Men should be considered human, but for tax purposes, they are not.

    But maybe I should read the Judge's opinion first. It's long, so I'm posting the link here before I read. Based on the first paragraph, it looks like the matter never went to a full trial and was decided in a pre-trial 'summary judgement'.

    --LP

  126. Tomatoes and X-Men by YU+Nicks+NE+Way · · Score: 1

    So, the X-Men are non-human for purposes of Tariffs. Of course, legally, in the US, tomatoes are vegetables, not fruits, for purposes of tariffs. (For basically the same reason: tariff differences between classes.) The result of the decision: tariff rates on the two product categories were equalized.

  127. Judge was coerced! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Says it right there in the article:
    "Marvel subsidiary Toy Biz Inc. pushed Judge Barzilay to declare its heroes nonhuman so it could win a lower duty rate on action figures imported from China in the mid-1990s. At the time, tariffs put higher duties on dolls than toys. According to the U.S. tariff code, human figures are dolls, while figures representing animals or "creatures," such as monsters and robots, are deemed toys."

    However, what I really don't understand is why they still bothered with the classification? Article says:
    "Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories."

    So if the duties have been eliminated, why did the judge make the ruling on Jan. 3?

    Ah this explains it: "Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties..."

    But I still think the judge was coerced.

  128. trial lawyer action figure NOT HUMAN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It is plastic
    it looks like a weasel

  129. appearance based judgement flawed by erikdotla · · Score: 1

    I can't believe I'm even commenting on this but here goes...

    My impression is that the judge based her decision on the appearance of the toy, and speculation on the nature of what they saw based on their own experience. Wolf had prosthetic hands. A man could have these things, but wait, he has exaggerated muscles. Monster.

    Imagine a line of toys similar to the X-Men, where the backstory is that they were smart and genetically altered themselves (minor) and added lots of prosthetics and cool weapons. Kind of like your average soldier who takes steroids. Obviously human right?

    Imagine an identical line of toys where the backstory is that the super features evolved based on their origin being from another planet and all the materials for the prosthetics, while metallic, actually grew right out of their skin.

    Identical toys, different backstories. One is clearly monsters according to the judge's method, the other humans.

    The flaw is obviously using the appearance and guesses on the backstory to make the judgment.

    Ask any kid what "Doll" vs. "Toy" is. A "Doll" is any item targeted to Girls Only. Boys don't play with dolls, they play with action figures. A toy that is geared toward boys OR girls, is a "toy" not a doll.

    Barbie? Girls only, doll.
    Gi-Joe, Xmen? Toys.

    But what about the infamous Glo-Worm? I recall my kid brother had one and loved it. That thing looked as much like a doll than anything - it was plush for crissakes.

    I guess at this point you just realize it's good that they abolished those doll vs toy categories. It doesn't solve the issue of back-duties though for Toy Biz.

    I think the solution is to declare the very existence of the higher 12% tax unfair based on the method of categorization and thus, the gov't owes Toy Biz the difference between the 12% and the lower duty tax.

    --
    # Erik
  130. so they can get a refund on the tariff by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Imagine getting half of the money you paid in taxes back. That is what we are talking about. The government must now refund the taxes.

  131. This is ludicrous by asscroft · · Score: 1

    Saying that these are action figures and not dolls is one thing, but saying that these are not human characters is absolutely wrong. marvell sold out!

    I hope this doesn't set a precedent for when mutants/clones/cyborgs are a part of society.

    --
    because I have been enjoined by this Holy Office to abandon the false opinion which maintains that the Sun is the centre
  132. Thats YOUR money! by dark-br · · Score: 1

    Good to see where the American Justice spend its money, buying and bullshiting about dolls and stuff.

  133. Bizarre Judgements by serutan · · Score: 1

    This may seem like a waste of the court's time, but the point is taxation, not the actual nature of the X-Men. Years ago I read that a state Supreme Court in the U.S. ruled that deveined shrimp are tastier than the non-deveined kind. Then and now, it was all about money. Well alrighty then.

  134. Well, see, here's the thing. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Humans tend to live in a world that somewhat resembles reality, and tend to have actions and cababilities that somehow tie into reality. X-men do not exhibit these characteristics. It's not about them being mutants, it's about their ridiculous superpowers.


    Why a court should care about this is beyond me.

  135. this is going to be deamed as trolling but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    what a bunch of lame asses...
    they do this to save money, not to make a political statement.

    'tards.

  136. broader precedent? by Tesseract · · Score: 1

    So, if I were to have some sort of genetic abnormality, such as a congenital heart defect or sickle-cell anemia, does that mean I would be "something other than human"? Does that mean I would no longer enjoy my "inalienable human rights" or have to pay taxes (since I'm now the equivalent of a dog)?

    --
    Show me what you want, and I'll show you how to get along without it...
  137. you must be new here . . . by IndependentVik · · Score: 2, Funny

    The people you're correcting with regards to comicbook spelling minutiae are the same ones who don't know the difference between "loose" and "lose" :)

    --
    I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
    1. Re:you must be new here . . . by deadsaijinx* · · Score: 1

      Sir, are you impliing htat there is a difference - a programmer doesnt have to spell correctly, just konsistantley.

      --
      YOU SUCK BALLS!
  138. no such thing as race by IndependentVik · · Score: 1

    Thanks for pointing out the factoid on race. It's something I learned while taking frosh anthro and later had confirmed by someone in the bio department. It seems to me that people just love talking about different "races" b/c they like to stress the differences between all of us rather than all of the things we have in common. Like how we talk about "white" and "black" people when we're all really shades of pink and brown.

    --
    I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
  139. Jesus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If Jesus was an action figure would he be a doll or a toy?

  140. i think you missed his point by IndependentVik · · Score: 1

    P.S. The kind of rant you indulged in is why everyone sees Libertarians as a bunch of whiners.

    I too love quoting the inimitable Berke Breathed, but I'm afraid you missed the parent's point. It's not that he thinks taxes are too high (the Libertarian's lament), but that taxes are too fscking complicated! Don't you dare tell me you think the Tax Code is simple, I'll call you a liar to your face!

    It's time for the politcians to realize that the tax code eats away lots of time and energy and is horribly ineffecient. It eats away at productivity.

    And am I the only one who thinks making public policy through the Tax Code is fscking idiotic?!?! You want college to be cheaper? How about instead of a godamn tax credit you just pay part of a student's tuition? Either way, it's money lost for the general treasury (lost revenue versus increased expenditure) but this way maybe there's one less thing we have to worry about come tax time. One less receipt, one less call to the overpaid CPA.

    I predict that we won't simplify our ridiculous system for at least 100 years (and that's probably a rather hopeful estimate).

    P.S. For the record, I don't think taxes are too high, esp. for the uber-wealthy who always weasel out of them (thanks again, tax code!)

    --
    I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
  141. Spaz by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Well, I guess coming out of the closet is out of the question.

    On to plan B.

  142. On the DC side of the coin... by Thedalek · · Score: 1

    Lessee here... Superman, not human. Green Lantern, human. Flash, human. Wonder Woman, not human. Martian Manhunter, not human. Batman (and many Gotham baddies, except Clayface and post-decapitation Mr. Freeze), human...

    Seems DC still would have to pay the higher tariff.

    --
    Happiness is relative, Based upon the way we live.
  143. If this is my tax dollars at work... by kien · · Score: 1
    The U.S. government showed more feeling. Each figure had a "distinctive individual personality," the federal legal team argued.

    ...I want my money back.

    --K.
    --
    Sig: Bad people happen. Try to avoid being one of them.
  144. What about... by silhouette · · Score: 4, Funny

    my Jesus Christ action figure with posable arms and legs? Want to make a ruling on that one? What would Jesus tax? (WWJT)

    --
    Experts agree: everything is fine.
    1. Re:What about... by mt-biker · · Score: 1

      my Jesus Christ action figure with posable arms and legs?

      Does it come with holes in the hands and feet and a little plastic crucifix?

      Enquiring minds want to know... :)

    2. Re:What about... by silhouette · · Score: 1

      No, sadly. :( That would have been awesome, though. Maybe those parts were sold separately. Or maybe I got the pre-crucified version and there's a separate post-crucified version.

      The best part is that the packaging has a brief description on the front about who this "Jesus" is - like a profile (though no age/height/weight). Just in case, y'know, you never heard of him or you need some reminding.

      I got it at Camden market in London, probably one of the best places to get weird things like that. You can find a bunch for sale online, although I couldn't find any that come with a crucifix.

      --
      Experts agree: everything is fine.
    3. Re:What about... by Dr.+Manhattan · · Score: 1
      ...my Jesus Christ action figure with posable arms and legs?

      Aw, that's easy. He may be fully divine, but he's also fully human, so he'd be subject to both the "toy" and "doll" duties!

      --
      PHEM - party like it's 1997-2003!
  145. Humanity's Judges by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Since this judge is supposed to have average to above-average intellect, education, and understanding; and being it quite improbable that the judge in question never saw any of the "Planet of The Apes" movies (or anything similar, from "Dr. Moreau's Island" and "The Day the Earth Stopped", onwards), let alone ever read deeply regarding about humanity or philosophy - it logically follows that said judge has cravenly submitted to degenerate evil's dictates on the matter.

    In spirit, this is the same attitude that caused jews, blacks, indians, non-christians, non-neander..., er, "non-whites", non-greeks, etc. to be considered "non-human", by judges, back through the ages.

    That's why, no matter how many "Bi-Centennial Man" type stories are cranked out, and how corny they might seem, they will always be necessary and will never be enough.

    This is the sort of thing judges should get right. This is the sort of thing judicial systems should keep from happening. "In dubio pro re", keeps popping into mind. Similar principle can be traced back to Hammurabi's Code - a poor freeman paid less for several transgressions than landowners, or religious or royal officials did.

    No judge can ignore that his job always has repercussions, contributes to precedent and lends itself to cause from then onward.

    Justice, and humanity, have been done a grievous disservice.

  146. Test case by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It's the same logic that amply blessed legal sterilization of "subnormals" throughout the 20th century, USA included.

    Da Judge's ruling nestles a snake which guarantees that, when neat or not-so-neat manipulations be done upon us in the immediate future, or upon our children, friends, or whatever - there will be legal basis to consider them, legally, as not "enemy combatants", err..., I mean, not Human.

    Still referring to that judge's ruling, peoples "non-humanity" shall henceforth be partially determined by their exagerated appearance and skills.

    Elephant-men, geeks, freaks, blockheads, and all others : beware. Evil creeps in high places.

  147. Actually there IS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    As unfortunate as it is, race does exist, see this months issue of scientific american.

    1. Re:Actually there IS by IndependentVik · · Score: 1

      AC, thanks for the info. I'll be sure to stop by the library and check it out.

      --
      I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
  148. And in other develpments... by Badanov · · Score: 1

    Judges rule that x-wives aren't human either.

    --
    Dawn of the Dead
  149. How does this reflect on those people who are... by digital+photo · · Score: 1

    So how does this reflect on people who are living amoungst us today?

    Let's take a look, shall we?

    • Let's take your average war vet or accident victom who now depends on prosthetics. Based on the Judge's observations, these people are now no longer completely human because they have robotic parts on their bodies. The handicaped, wheelchair bound, etc are now relegated to being not fully human. (Or into the world of goblins, ghosts, robots, etc...)
    • Body builders who have bulging masses of muscle brought on by years of hard work and exercise are now classifiable as robots due to their unnatural bulk. Surely, no normal human would look anything like that. They must be non-human creatures as well.
    • Geeky or just spend too much time working in an underground research lab? Skin pale and senstive to light? Perhaps even a little rotound? Guess what? You're now no longer quite human either. More mole/vampire/cog than human. Wonder if this means we can stop paying taxes? ;)
    • People with breast implants or erection hardware... more well endowed than the average human? Able to become a rod of steel in mere moments? Able to bash your significant other into submission with your monstrous mammaries? Well, you just might not be human either.

    Personally, while finding this slightly amusing... it is also quite disheartening. To see the elements of what make us human being overshadowed by the cold objective dissection and sorting of who is... and who isn't completely human.

    truely sad... that a judge would make such a judgement without either thinking of the consequences, or wording the judgement more appropriately. I'm just waiting for the lawyers to pounce on this one, pouring over legal documents for references to "human"... or businesses deciding that it doesn't need to give health care to some of it's employees because they really aren't "human"...

  150. Speciation by tuxlove · · Score: 1

    Scientists have never been able to agree on the definition of a species. In high school biology, they often teach that the ability to interbreed indicates that two organisms are the same species. This is a naive view.

    There are numerous cases where organisms that were once the same species still retain the ability to interbreed even after much genetic drift. As a species begins to "speciate" due to geographical separation, etc., the various distinct groups of individuals may still be sufficiently similar genetically to interbreed, even if they have begun to differ greatly genetically/physiologically. It is unclear at what point two fairly distinct groups of animals become different species.

    A good example of this is homo sapiens (us) and Neanderthals. It's believed that these two different species may have had the ability to interbreed, and that they did so, even though they had very different mental capacity, physiology, social structure, and so on.

    So, simply because the X-Men look like humans (for the most part), have mostly similar physiologies to humans, have families and breed with humans, etc., it is not clear that they are actually human. It largely depends on genes - how much do they differ genetically from the human population at large. If it's just a matter of a few genes here or there, then the case could probably be made that they're still human. Otherwise, it the argument becomes gray, and is open for discussion amongst those educated on the topic of evolution. This does not include a judge, in my opinion, as it is doubtful that any judge has enough education (or genetic evidence) to make a call either way. Frankly, Marvel Comics is probably the only entity who can shed any light on the argument, since they are the final arbiter as to the genetic makeup of the characters they've created. If they say that the X-Men have little genetic resemblance to humans, then who is to argue?

    1. Re:Speciation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      It's believed that these two different species may have had the ability to interbreed

      You're begging the question. I remember reading an article raising this question, but their conclusion was that viable interbreeding would definitely define them as homo sapiens neandertalis (to our homo sapiens sapiens).

  151. Talk about setting a bad precedent by Milo77 · · Score: 1

    I am going to start working out every day and I'll go find me a lion's mane to wear around(ebay for sure!). Once I'm really big and muscular I'll stop living by the laws of the land....I'll be able to do whatever I want because, hey, I'm not human - your laws don't apply to me. I'll make sure my lawyer cites this ruling as precedent.

    1. Re:Talk about setting a bad precedent by devleopard · · Score: 1

      In which case someone who kills you for fun can't be prosecuted for murder - the worse that can happen is a fine or misdemeanor for animal cruelty. Not to mention "human rights". When a man steals some bread, he's arrested. When a dog steals some bread, he's shot.

      --
      The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
  152. And what will the future bring? by Guppy · · Score: 1

    Toy Biz, in its filings, pulled no punches. The figures "stand as potent witnesses for their status as nonhuman creatures," the company argued. How could they be humans, Toy Biz said, if they possessed "tentacles, claws, wings or robotic limbs?"

    Or a mechanical heart, ceramic and titanium hips and knees, or an implanted insulin pump?

    OK, so I don't know anyone with tentacles or claws, but some prosthetic limbs make use of quite a bit of robotic technology, even if the level of technology is still at the point where it struggles to grasp a doorknob. Does the presence of non-human parts make you non-human?

  153. Hard to know what to say... by BelDion · · Score: 1

    Apparently the judge never kept up with continuity...

    Gyrich: Mastermold, you were designed to protect humans from mutants!
    Mastermold: Illogical. Mutants are humans; therefore humans must be protected from themselves.

    --

    I am BelDion's .Sig; Who the hell is Jack?
  154. That's it. I'm off this planet. by Moofie · · Score: 1

    OK, this pegs my "WTF?!" meter for three reasons.

    1) That fanboys care what some judge thinks. I mean, I understand that many fanboys don't have anything that could even be remotely termed "perspective", but if this is the biggest problem in your life? You're doing fine.

    2) A judge actually spent time thinking about this. I don't even know what to do with that piece of information.

    3) Some DIPSHIT passed a restrictive trade agreement that can be circumvented by a stupid argument like this. For one thing, tariffs are foolish, and for another thing, dumb tariffs like this are extra foolish.

    Jane, stop this crazy thing.

    --
    Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
  155. Meanwhile by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Instead of calling bush's political actions unconstitutional, instead of finding a cure to some desease or fighting hunger, Instead of doing something worthy with our lives we deside to debate weather dolls/action figures are human or not.

    thats america.

    1. Re:Meanwhile by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Fsck the toys. We're debating what the essence of humanity is, and how frighteningly shallow the criteria of this federal judge were.

      Nothing you named was relevant to slashdot (or even very newsworthy), and I don't know why you're spending your life on this topic anyway--the rest of us said our peace after ~10 minutes.

  156. of... by m1chael · · Score: 0

    course they are not human, they are superhuman.

    you see they actually got wolverine to act in the x-men movie (they arent really actors playing x-men!). wow what a guy.

    --
    I know you are psychotic, but please make an effort.
  157. World's wierdest legal decision by Elpacoloco · · Score: 1

    Of course they're not human, they're one inch tall plastic figurines!

    Sheesh.

  158. So this is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...what my tax dollars fund? I think it's time to move to the Netherlands.

  159. perhaps......... by hhknighter · · Score: 1

    The presiding judge subjected the figures to "comprehensive examinations" which included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure."

    Maybe the judge needed some quality time with the xmen.

    Jokes aside, if I have an uncanny power of not caring, can I be exempt from possible taxes, like international airport tax?

  160. This rates as possibly the stupidest thing... by borgheron · · Score: 1

    I have ever read on this site...

    And they didn't publish my story about the evils of software patents??? Sheesh...

    GJC

    --
    Gregory Casamento
    ## Chief Maintainer for GNUstep
  161. Strongly disagree. by TheLink · · Score: 1

    I find it very strange when people say there are practically no genetic differences between the races, or say there's no genetic basis for race. For at the same time people say the genetic difference between humans and chimps is very slight.

    Given that, I can only conclude that the genetic differences between the races are significant given a normal human society perspective. Not substantial, but significant.

    From an extraterrestial lifeform's perspective the genetic differences could be insignificant. But lets not pull wool over our own eyes.

    We're all the same species. But it's a lie to say there are no racial differences, or that they don't matter. Race should never be the sole basis of any of our judgements, but one should not be deceived by people trying to be politically correct.

    So far no nonblack man has broken the 100m in 10 seconds barrier without wind assistance. Sure you can say there's very little difference between 10 seconds and 9.8.

    You can also say there's very little difference between first and last place.

    --
    1. Re:Strongly disagree. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We can easily tell a chimp from a human apart based on DNA. No such thing with human "races". You could share more DNA in common with an african or indian, than with your own kind of people. This is a biological fact. There has not yet been found any "race" gene that makes us into a certain "race" (although some individual genes may give red hair, blue eyes, etc).

      Stop talking about human races, and you'll see you have more in common with an asian woman than you think... ;-)

      And the offspring, what "race" would he be of? Talking about human races is dividing us unnescessarily, and division creates conflict.

    2. Re:Strongly disagree. by TheLink · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Years back people were already telling Africans apart from each other from their genes. They're actually rather genetically disparate - from the Biaka pygmies to Zulus.

      If scientists say they can trace origins of the human race by genetic means, then they should be able to tell the races apart.

      Real races I mean. Not silly arbitrary amalgations like the USA's "Pacific Islander + Asian" or UK's "Asian".

      I daresay I have more in common with Asian women than _you_ think.

      Why should talking about human races cause conflict? To me it's just like talking about people with different characteristics. Or different breeds of dogs for that matter - and we know though a dog is a dog is a dog, different breeds have different characteristics. The differences are less marked for humans (we're mostly "mongrels" that separated out ages ago), but they're there.

      Just avoid the politicians and bigots, and we should be fine talking about racial differences.

      --
    3. Re:Strongly disagree. by aanantha · · Score: 1

      It's all a matter of perspective. In our everyday human existence, we deal only with humans. So differences that are tiny on the biological scale are easily noticed by us.

      To a microbiologist, humans and chimpanzees could be considered indistinguishable. The part of the genome which governs sentience is very very small. When you're working at such a low level, it's not meaningful to make that distinction.

      Similarly, for a zoologist the differences between humans is too tiny to even classify us into difference subspecies. Subspecies itself doesn't have any concrete biological defintion. And below the level of subspecies there doesn't exist any other classification scheme. There's no reason for them to consider human races.

      Significance is a relative word. What may be significant in human society has nothing to do with what is significant in science. When a scientist says something is not significant, you must always associate that with the context.

      The situation is more complicated when it comes to races. Our notion of race categories has more to do with local society. Living in the Western World, we get the impression that race is more clear cut than it really is. We don't think about all the people of in-between racial categories which have made biological classification impossible. In India, for example, you'll see a skin color variation from near white to pure black over a span of a mere 2 thousand miles. Most Americans just encounter white Europeans and black Africans and so their concept of race is defined by the extremes. In reality, there is only a smooth variation. Biology has to deal with reality. In this case, the common incorrect perception of reality shapes what is significant in society.

    4. Re:Strongly disagree. by phriedom · · Score: 1

      "Real races I mean. Not silly arbitrary amalgations..."

      What are real races?

      At some level all race is arbitrary. Yes I can see that the archtypical Scandinavian is distinct from the archtypical Italian, but who decides if these caucasians are the same race or different? Are Persians the same race as Arabs? Are short Germans the same race as tall Germans? If genetics can show us common ancestry but little else, then it isn't definitive.

      Your example of dog breeds is a great example. It is arbitrary. It is just an artificial construct by some panels of "experts." Everyone can see that Malanoise are different from Teruvians (sorry if I spelled those wrong), but they undoubtedly share common ancestry. Does that make them different races? Does a mixed-breed dog have no race or 2 races? If the AKC in the US and the other one in the UK (Royal Kennel Club?) don't agree on a breed, then how does one define the race.

      Biaka, Zulu, and Massai are all different, but the entire idea of race is fictional, people made it up, it isn't "real."

      --
      Don't moderate flamebait as Troll. Know the difference or you will be Meta-moderated.
    5. Re:Strongly disagree. by TheLink · · Score: 1

      Sure it's arbitrary. So are most categories. Categories are a form of lossy information compression/caching.

      I'll accept this sort of categorization is not useful if there's been tons of cross breeding. Or there are very few useful distinguishable genetic characteristics. But so far it's been a better idea to bet on the big black boxer, than on the big white one.

      As for dog breeds. They really are very different. The Huntaway dogs bark a lot whilst herding sheep. Whereas heading "eye" dogs don't bark at all - they just stare at the sheep, run a lot and the sheep move. They herd sheep in very different ways, and have rather different natures. They've been bred for different purposes. Sure there are exceptions in each breed but in general you can generalize.

      Humans till date have had a bit more haphazard breeding, so the different breed characteristics aren't as marked. Cultural characteristics tend to be more marked, but in stuff like field athletics, those of a particular African breed seem to do better in burst events no matter what cultural background, whilst another African breed does better in long distance events.

      That said the Jews seem to do disproportionately well in business/arts/science for one reason or another. Could be cultural, do those who have chucked their culture do as well?

      I'd be curious to see if the Inuits have special characteristics to better deal with cold conditions. And so far caucasians seem far more prone to cystic fibrosis than orientals.

      If there one day exist people who can climb walls like geckos, but can still interbreed with humans producing viable offspring, they should be considered a different breed/race, but of the same species. If generations down some of their offspring have sticky fingers, why deny they're still partly of that race? Heck, I'd consider them for stuff like basketball and goalkeeping, might want to watch them closely in casinos tho :).

      People make up a lot of things which aren't real. But many of the made up things can be very useful in positive ways.

      When for a category you can no longer usefully generalize/categorize, then one should stop. But if you still can, why stop?

      Just because it's politically correct?

      Politically correct sounds like a stale euphemism for lying to me. And that is double plus ungood.

      I'll stop if what I'm saying hurts your feelings or any other readers. But I feel the main thing is motive. Many people call each other derogatory terms and they don't take offense when it's in a brotherly/friendly context.

      --
    6. Re:Strongly disagree. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think the real question is, does it matter? Personally, I just take people as they come.

      Unfortunately, I seem to be in the minority. As you posted, we're all mongrels - so why give it a second thought. Why try to put people into classification boxes?

      And why can't we all just get along? Won't somebody please think of the children!

    7. Re:Strongly disagree. by TheLink · · Score: 1

      Why classify/generalize? Because of resource and time issues. If you have perfect knowledge then there's no point. But I don't.

      If you see a tiger would you give it the benefit of doubt? I don't know about you, but I'll treat it as potentially dangerous. So what if that hurts the tiger's feelings. The reverse is true too - most tigers will avoid humans, even the rare friendly human.

      In my country (and a few others I've been to), I'll use appearance/dress to decide which language I'm going to first use to speak with a stranger. Of course if the stranger speaks first the problem could be solved (not always ;) ).

      You're not prejudiced/stupid if your assumptions are correct most of the time, and your exception handling is good. If they work most of the time then they're useful - no matter how politically incorrect they are. Once they stop working well, then wisen up. There's a big difference between exercising good judgement and being prejudiced.

      Who's talking about not getting along? Picking the correct language (and slang) to use and which time is pretty useful in getting along.

      --
    8. Re:Strongly disagree. by phriedom · · Score: 1

      Equating my views with "politically correct" and by extension a stale euphemism sounds like a straw-man argument to me. And that is double plus ungood.

      My position is that people give categories called "race" far more credence than they deserve. Catagories have utility. I propose to you that a category of "people with a high ratio of slow-twitch (vs. fast-twitch) muscles" is a more valid category than "a particular African breed." I don't think the idea of race is wrong, I think it is flawed, and overstated.

      Let's not forget that this discussion started because someone said mutants were a different race, Homo Superior, as if that had some scientific meaning or any relevance to their status as a human.

      --
      Don't moderate flamebait as Troll. Know the difference or you will be Meta-moderated.
  162. Proof. by TheLink · · Score: 1

    Which other country is there a market for computer programs to help you fill out Income Tax forms?

    --
  163. No one gets it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The judge has decided the characters that the X-Men dolls/toys represent are not human characters because of their super human powers.

    She's not talking about the dolls/toys themselves but the characters they represent.

    In effect saying that if someone had a child with super human powers like the X-Men then that child would not be human.

    Don't laugh, can you rule out the possibility of genetic engineering to create Wolverine soldiers in our lifetime? I can't.

    So according to this ruling children breed for military purposes need not be considered human, and hence need not be protected by fundamental human rights.

  164. WTF? by Frozen-Solid · · Score: 1

    Here's what i dont get. All these marvel comics fans are pissed off about marvel getting some money becuase some judge deemed their toys as "toys" instead of "dolls." Sure, the idea was that if they are human, then they are dolls, and them not being dolls means they are "not human," but who the hell really cares what they are "legally" called? Think about it. Does this not fit the X-Men story? They struggle to be excepted as humans, but rarely/never are. Now, even in the REAL world that same "struggle" is happening. Lastly, if marvel gets money out of this, and it means it'll cost them less to import their toys, wouldnt that price most likely come down on the retail end as well? If not, the company has more money to make more badass toys, so why complain? Seriously, some people need to learn to lighten up.

    --
    Frozen Insanity
    http://frozen-solid.net
  165. Moleman? by po_boy · · Score: 1

    What, Hans Moleman isn't human?

  166. Logical fallacies by SgtChaireBourne · · Score: 1

    Does anyone know the name for the logical fallacy of incorrectly attributing a logical fallacy to an argument as a counter argument?

    Many university and highschool philosophy classes have online material covering all manner of logical fallacy. Logical fallacies are common enough in both advertising and astroturfing that everyone working in IT has seen them.
    --
    Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
    1. Re:Logical fallacies by Look+Sir,+Droids! · · Score: 1

      ...I think it was an "unanswerable question"; i.e., part rhetorical question + part rhetorical diss.

  167. What about Arnie?? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Or.. How about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is he inhuman too now?

  168. Not an animal... by Puppet+Master · · Score: 1
    "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    I am not an animal.... I am a mannnn!

    -- Elephant Man

    --
    The day Microsoft creates a product that doesn't suck, it will be known as the Microsoft Vaccuum Cleaner!
  169. Re:what about Arnie? by clickety6 · · Score: 1

    "The judge found that Kraven exhibited "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs.""

    This begs the question .. if exaggerated musles make craven nonhuman than what about Barbie's extremely small waist size?


    No, this begs the question... if exaggerated musles make Craven nonhuman then what species is Arnold Schwarzenegger?

    --
    ----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
  170. What a sad day by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Now we have to see Spidey naked but Mary Jane clothed, what a sad day it is :-)

  171. Damn you! by danro · · Score: 1

    Sigh. I was going to study tonight, but now I know I'll just be renting Spaceballs... again.

    --

    "First lesson," Jon said. "Stick them with the pointy end."
    1. Re:Damn you! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh SpaceBalls, I thought for a moment that Goatasaur worked in the Oval Office.

  172. So, the X-Men are not people... by feidaykin · · Score: 2, Funny

    but Soylent Green is! ;)

    --

    "To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit." -Stephen Hawking

  173. American politics by rednaxel · · Score: 1
    From the article:

    Ammiano also said Segway's campaign rubbed officials the wrong way.

    "Segway didn't help themselves by hiring very expensive lobbyists," he said. "I think that backfired on them, too."

    New Hampshire-based Segway hired lobbying firms but has made no contributions to any public officials or candidates, said Matt Dailida, the company's director of state government affairs.

    It looks like a revenge. How dare they try to pass a law (that would increase their profit) without give some money to the politics? That's how Corporated States of America works.

    --
    If you can read this, thank an english teacher.
  174. Thank you. by c.emmertfoster · · Score: 1

    That was a fantastically interesting article! The concept of a human being seeing this theorized "fourth-primary" color is mind-boggling. I think I'm going to go cry my suddenly sub-human self to sleep now.

    --
    We can neither love nor pity nor forgive. If you make a slip in handling us you die!
  175. All mutants are evil by MECC · · Score: 1

    And should be forced to live someplace on their own. But, its okay if they go fight a war for us. Where's George Bush when you need him?

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
  176. So does this mean... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    if I get adamantium claws implanted in my arms, I wouldn't have to pay taxes?
    Or would I have to get the whole adamantium skeleton?

  177. Superman isn't human by Mark_MacRae · · Score: 1

    "Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"

    Wasn't superman supposedly an alien? That would pretty much rule him out as being human, one would think.

  178. Re:what about Arnie? by EvilAlien · · Score: 1
    Austrian.

    They aren't like us. They are different. To be feared.

    --
    perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'
  179. X-Men Not Human? by mpresley72 · · Score: 1

    my first reaction was, "how the hell can a Federal Judge rule on the humanity of the Marvel Universe?", but then my second reaction was, "why is a subscription to the WSJ so much?" I guess you get what you pay for, eh?

    I remember, as a kid, reading the comics. Back then they were 12 cents, up from a dime. God knows what a comic costs now--I'm guessing a dollar and a half? Anyhow, in those days Marvel characters were quite different from the usual crap from DC. In a word, the Marvel creations acted like real people. Marvel was Greek tragedy or Shakespeare for kids. Sure, they were strong and had cool powers, but what good did it do them? In spite of their altruistic intentions they usually wound up with the short shrift, their good will being completely misunderstood. In short, they WERE human.

    And now a goddamned Federal judge looking merely at outward appearance declares them to be on the same genetic level as Godzilla. Jesus! What's the world coming to? I mean (and as any Star Trek fan knows), the truly human derives from something inside us. Something intangible transcending external appearance.

    It's a sad day in comicdom when the stinking humanity of Wolverine is sold out for a few lousy dollars. It's Judas all over again. No wonder the world is so screwed up today.

  180. starting a corp... no biggie, by Vaughn+Anderson · · Score: 1

    ...when only multibillion-dollar corporations can afford to hire the army of lawyers and CPAs required to comply with the tax laws, the only legal businesses will be multibillion-dollar corporations.

    I started a corporation with a total of about $300, including accountant time. ($65 an hour)

    I don't agree with the abuses huge corps do, but I have to admit I see the need for corporation model of doing business.

    For one, I am currently in a lawsuit over copyright infringement with the first client I got contracted by right after graduating from college. If I had been incorporated then, I would not be being personally sued right now...

    Every freelancer should incorporate, with proper advice it can save you in many situtuations, and you get tax benefits too...

    -v

  181. NPR morning edition story by internic · · Score: 2, Informative
    --
    "You call it a new way of thinking; I call it regression to ignorance!" -- Operation Ivy
  182. Re:Overf***inglawyered. by ChristTrekker · · Score: 1
    I therefore have no reason to believe that either major party has any intention of reforming the Code, and the only way I can see the Code being changed is for third parties to gain enough votes to be a threat to the majors.

    As I'll keep saying until it happens, the better alternative is to enact Condorcet voting. It is not enough for third parties to act merely as "spoilers". If you think about it, a single vote can represent your true preference between, at most, two people. As soon as you introduce a third option, there's an amibuity: are you really for the person you vote for, are are you against his most popular opponent? We need a system that allows you to express preferences between candidates in this way, one that eliminates incentives for "strategic" voting.

    That's Condorcet. Conceptually it is only slightly more difficult than single-vote plurality vote (current US system). Think of it this way: in a multi-way race, the "true winner" is the one that would win all (or at least a majority) of head-to-head races against all contenders. A single vote can determine only one head-to-head race - Condorcet provides a ranking method that allows all head-to-head winners to be determined simultaneously. Do not confuse this with an iterative approach to counting such as IRV. The iterative approach is flawed because it eliminates candidates before they've had a chance to be paired off with all other contenders. It is trivial to demonstrate this once you understand how the vote counting for both methods works.

    Write your legislators. Write your editors. Explain to your neighbors and friends. Better yet, run for office. Imagine running on a platform that says, "I intend to make it easier for you to vote me - and other politicians - out of office if you don't like what we do".

  183. Re:Article Text - They can't do math by Etrigan_696 · · Score: 1

    But what about Wolverine, the muscular X-Man with the metal claws that jut out from his fists? Wolverine has known many forms in his more than 40 years as a Marvel character.

    Huh?
    Wolverine's first appearance was in Hulk 180, in 1974. He wasn't an X-man yet. That didn't happen till X-men #94/Giant Size X-Men #1....And that was in 1975.
    So....
    2003
    -1975
    ------
    >40

    WTF?!?

    Bah. Wolverine was cool way back in the day... Fighting the Brood, fighting the Sentinels, Fighting the Dire Wraiths, fighting various and sundry ninjas...
    But then...Then the 90s happened. All comic books went to HELL! (The Demon, which was already in Hell, stayed quite funny and entertaining) They stopped being about a great story with cool pictures and started being pinup books with pretty pictures and no story. Then - in an attempt to gain some story back, they try and be "edgy" and hip....and basically ruin comics.

    At least Hugh Jackman does a good "old school" Wolverine in the movie.
    "You actually go out in public like this?"
    Cyclops: "You'd rather have yellow spandex?"

  184. To X-Men Fans by Wotdabny · · Score: 2, Funny

    The article does seem at first blush inflammatory. For example:

    Her ruling thundered through the world of Marvel Comics fans. The famed X-Men, those fighters of prejudice sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are not human, she decreed Jan. 3. Nor are many of the villains who do battle with Spiderman and the Fantastic Four. They're all "nonhuman creatures," concluded Judge Barzilay.

    What is important to remember here is that this is just the real world, and doesn't count.

    One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
    --Will Durant

  185. In other news... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A young wooden man is taking his case to the supreme court claiming to be a real boy.

    Film at 11:00

  186. Wha??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Judge Barzilay conceded that the closest call was the Mole Man, who once blinded the Fantastic Four with searing beams of light. The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground. Given all that, Judge Barzilay concluded, the Mole Man was more mole than man.

    Hey! I resemble that remark, you insensitive clod!

  187. The X-Wives by Etrigan_696 · · Score: 1, Informative

    AMEN Brother! Preach on!

    X-Wives.... They're a great and powerful force of evil hell-bent on ruining the lives of all connected to the X-Husband super-hero team. They will infiltrate your secret headquarters and take everything of any value, including, but not limited to, any secret identities your super-team may guard, all secret codes and cool hi-tech discoveries, all your funding, and even your dignity and self respect. And then you have to pay a "protection" fee every month to keep them from doing it again.

    They are an insidious evil organization that shows no compassion, even to children, which they use as human shields and brainwash to their evil ways. They are ruled by The Harpy, the most evil and depraved X-Wife of them all, who sits on her perch in a deep underground cavern somewhere beneath Dallas, TX (because, as you might know, "All my Xs live in texas").

    Next to the Dire Wraiths or maybe the minions of Darkseid, the X-Wives are the most evil organization in the universe.

    First Appearance: Widely disputed. Best theories place their origin at the time of Moses from the Hebrew and chistian holy writings. People begged for the ability to divorce, God didn't like it, but he agreed, and thus the X-Wives were born. This may suggest a demonic origin.

    Super Powers: X-Wife powers vary widely from specimen to specimen. Most have the ability to project a beam of pure hatred from their eyes that can chill the heart of even the strongest, most invulnerable warrior. Others are mindless berserkers. Still others are cold, calculating geniuses with a far-ranging network of minions.

    Vulnerabilities: Due to their insanity and lack of a firm grip on reality, some X-wives can be outsmarted. However, this is dangerous, as the veteran, Elite X-Wives have a godlike cunning
    High doses of Thorazine, Lithium and Zoloft have been known to stun an X-Wife long enough to escape.

  188. So, what does this mean for real world mutants? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't have any mutant powers (well, besides brainz %-) But I am a proud mutant.
    I have a molar that never dropped out from my childhood; there was no tooth underneath to push it out. I consider myself (and rightly so) a technical mutant.

    So judge, do I not have the right to breathe free, etc? I am a native born american. What If I wasn't ? Do I love my nation or fellow man any less? If you prick me do I not bleed? And what will you say to the first kid who can move iron filings with the kirlian field around his body?

    "Sorry kid, you're an X man, so, i hafta put this tracking collar on you. Next stop, Genosha."

    F*** that. And F*** that judge. Sure, maybe s/he was trying to alleviate a burdensome and seemingly pointless problem. Well judge, you're just asking to get overturned. Conservatives may want to pretend evolution is a liberal lie, but the central governing body (you know... the NSA) of the Fed understands that science has value, if not absolute correctness. And Because of evolution, every man woman and child is a mutant. See "cryptonomicon".. if there were no mutants, we'd all be metabolizing nitrogen or something in the primordial seas.

    F*** you judge.

  189. WWE hiring non-humans by Dhericean · · Score: 1

    In this case Scott "Big Papa Pump" Steiner (and a number of other wrestlers) just can't be human.

    --

    Gamma Testing - Where testing is extended to the full user community (AKA Shipping the Program)
  190. Re:Oh please. It's just govt. vs. corporate hypocr by vsync64 · · Score: 1
    I know you're all idealistic and all (I am too, generally) but you need to remember 2 things:

    1. The comics and movies are sold only because it makes them money.
    2. Fiction. FIC. TION.
    kthx.
    --
    TO BUY A NEW CAR WOULD MAKE YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.
  191. Re:A link to the Judge's 32-page opinion (plus min by jcast · · Score: 1

    For those of you decrying our taxpayer dollars going to waste on such a suit, it appears some at least is being used to make such decisions more accessible, a fact which I hope we can all agree upon.

    I don't think anyone will dispute your facts there, no.
    --
    There are reasons why democracy does not work nearly as well as capitalism.
    -- David D. Friedman
  192. Last Post! by alpg · · Score: 0

    When Alexander Graham Bell died in 1922, the telephone people interrupted
    service for one minute in his honor. They've been honoring him intermittently
    ever since, I believe.
    -- The Grab Bag

    - this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...