Slashdot Mirror
Some Geek Guides for Dating
An anonymous reader sends in this: "In honor of upcoming V-day, here are some geek guides for help in finding your geeky match: Guy's Guide to Geek Girls,
Girl's Guide to Geek Guys, advice from a she-geek, Engineer Your Love Life and Bart's Dating Guide for Geeks.
And for those of you who are absolutely hopeless, well, there is always Coincidence Designs... It's not too late, so good luck!" Another reader has some good news: "An article in Discover magazine reports on research done by scientists at the University of Toronto about how males attract mates. The cited article claims that when males are young, the show offs are actually the ones who are least likely to succeed later on. This causes a "revenge of the nerds effect:" the football players burn out but the nerds become sexy!" And if all else fails, you can try a Valentine's Day Form Letter.
Girl's Guide to Geek Guys link is broken
huh?
you are already hopeless.
Google and review sites are ll that I need to direct me towards my true love...
PC Hardware
:)~
that this is indeed the bottom of the barrel, I'm having a hard time imagining a worse article.
Banaaaana!
Thank god! I've been looking for something like this for months! ;)
I demand the Cone of Silence!
Here's another article in honor of Valentine's Day - A guide on how to get your Valentine hooked on gaming!
http://www.gametab.com/features/valentines.1/
1. shower
2. throw away jap/scat/fecal/tentacle rape vids
3. shave
4. stop meeting michael at the truckstop bathroom
5. meeting someone at a glory hole is not a date
good luck!
oh, wait, that's the other holiday.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Get yourself a subscription to The Spice Channel and a 12 pack. It's about as close as you need to get. I know what I'm talking about here, I'm married and it's Valentine's Day and I'm going to go broke before the day is over.
here
... so I can weed out the unattractive women that will soon start calling me.
Watch him carefully, and do the exact opposite.
That means: Never ever EVER say, "Nice LAAAYdeeee, oh! with the pushing, and the shoving, I can't help but notice your eyes, nice EYYYYeeees, are glowing like the blinkenlights on my fileserver, in the mother's basement, LAAAAYdeeee...oh MY!"
i need to worry more about getting a date than getting moderator poins for slashdot :) .
smd4985
Your gift for V-Day?
Sent it in last night -- rejected.
The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
Of course, it would never occur to anybody that there might be a need for A Geek Guy's Guide to Geek Guys or A Geek Girl's Guide to Geek Girls, would it? Of course not.
This is useful information (goodness knows I'll be putting it to work soon!), and Slashdot is certainly a good place to post it. However, I'm concerned that perhaps publishing this kind of material could be counterproductive, both for "geeks" and for mankind.
One aspect of geekiness has always been a lack of connection with other people. This emotional chasm is what has driven many of the Great Geeks (Einstein, Feynman, et al) to pour their energy into invention and genius. Geeks are thus given a choice, between intellectual pursuits and the attempt to integrate themselves with normal society. There should be no shortcuts, or we risk losing future geniuses to the normal life.
Also, the human race is kept strong is through evolution. If asthmatic, neurotic geeks improve their chances in the great slot machine of life, then future generations may be cursed with poorer health and social skills (which are essential to proper child-rearing), a state that will only be perpetuated and intensified in generations to come. Geeks need to be at a sexual disadvantage to temper their intellectual superiority, lest we introduce imbalance to the human race.
Geek guides for dating could be a powerful weapon against the Dark Lord in the East.
Boromir, son of Faramir, King of Gondor and Minas Tirith
Alright. Add one more reason why am glad I am not a woman. My gosh. How do you end up explaining this to her once it gets to a level you need to come clean. How could you still cover this up when you're married and not feel a bit sketchy.
Ahhhh, games galore for girls over at GameTab's Valentine's page
Of course an article written by researchers and scientists, who are nerds by some definition of the word, is going to claim that they got their sweet revenge against the jocks. Do you think that if the jocks wrote the article, the nerds would be portrayed so well?
Of course, I'm not complaining I can't get a date. Though I did just break up with my girlfriend because she was going out with someone else and wouldn't break up with me...
A solution to the problem with music today
Shit I still have to get something for the wife. GF is covered though.
Before anyone gets into a tizzy...GF gift is only about $125.00. Wife will get something at least thrice as valuable.
If we don't fight for ourselves no one will.
So the real reason I'm sitting here on Valentine's night assembling Gundam is because I have Java skills and not because I lack social confidence.
Pass the whisky.
Unfortunately, I am not Wil Wheaton
Screw Valentine's Day. Get back at your ex :(
,
faeryman
Yeah, the Love Connection guy. He's hosting a dating advice service, Love Tactics. The program is a bit pricy, but it's based upon a top selling book, and if you buy the system, you get a free consultation from the book's author. Not a lesson on "how to score," it's on "how to make them love you back." Good book, good system, good advice.
Just wait for Arbor Day, and "the Geeks Guide to Getting Some Fresh Air."
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
Be yourself.
Geeks are way sexy.
apple nipple hungry
You could link and at least credit the source...
:)
Takes up less space as well
I am SO glad my girlfriend isn't like that.
I really enjoy having someone to spend time with away from my computer. I like to relax and not worry about my work all the time, no matter that I enjoy it.
I think geek girls are way overrated; if you spend too much time in front of a high-resolution tube, you should look to expand your interests. You will be healthier and happier if your partner doesn't promote a similar unhealthy lifestyle. Besides, having diverse abilities and interests is a sign of intelligence and vivaciousness in both sexes.
To attract a woman, all you have to do is learn how to write flattering poetry, cook a gourmet meal and be great in bed. yeah, it's a troll, but so are articles about attracting the opposite sex.
Some of us played football all our lives growing up. Stop being judgemental pricks. I guarantee that is one of the best ways to chase a girl off.
Disclaimer: If it is afternoon on valentines day and you're still looking on slashdot for dating advice, things are not looking so good.
In all honesty, about the moment you start reading a "geek" themed guide to dating, give up. When it comes to this stuff, you are a male first, and a geek second. If you let that order be reversed it'll stay that way for the rest of your life.
Of course now they call it stalking. It can get pretty lonely in the bushes.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
the football players burn out but the nerds become sexy!
I want to say something intelligent: woohoo!.
oh well...
WE all know it. Good in bed, and look good
UNIX are good in bed. Not much to show.
Windows girls are STD recepticles.
this is referring to live humans. anime and other various sorts of scantily clad, big breasted, ass kicking ... mmm
ahh, yes. other various sorts of cgi don't apply. sorry
This article is for me :D I'm 35 now and it's such a long time ago now that I had a girlfriend I can't actually remember when it was. I think it was 6 but more likely 7 years ago now. The trouble is with your 30s is that the years start to fly past. I find that 6 bottles of Stella and a few hours of hardcore Day of Defeat multiplayer action winds my day down so that I don't really notice that I'm single.
Any posts dishing out advice should not be moderated redundant. If you knew it already, would you really be moderating on Valentine's night?
Unfortunately, I am not Wil Wheaton
Ok, lets look at this here for a sec. This study is done by people studying social behaviors, in a university. Could they possibly be geeks? Hmmm, let me think about this one for a minute. And certainly they'd want to spin it in such a way they would make them think they could get a date in the next 5 years :-). Not that I should talk......
Point the geeks in the direction of the hotties sporting Linux and BSD logos as tatoos - that's what this world needs more of.
An army of the chicks that look like Lana from Smallville who love nothing more than to have a guy help recompile their kernel for them...this is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hottie + Linux_Interest = Geek_Love
dmiessler.com -- grep understanding knowledge
http://216.239.33.100/search?q=cache:VRNUL0nFnikC: college.antioch.edu/~totally/geek.html+&hl=en&ie=U TF-8
1. Trek is just bad and has only gotten worse. Good SF OTHO is the key. Read up on your Niven.
/. interview. Because cooking is a *very* geeky thing.
:)
2. Cuisine just wrong. Most geeks I know cook. Ever wonder why our man Alton (http://www.altonbrown.com) did a
3. MYST!!! What the fuck is this bitch going on about. In general any geek worth having is going to be too busy working to play games and when we are working we would like to be left alone. Just be understanding that sometimes we need some time to work and support that.
So in conclusion this piece was insutling and wrong. BTW my wife is perfect.
Cypherpunks: Civil Liberty Through Complex Mathematics. Those who live by the sword die by the arrow.
Same principles of Open Source apply: if you need it, and it isn't available, write it yourself.
And just how the hell is it homophobia? Do you *want* a hetero to write a homo version of a Guide, even though they're not gonna know what the hell they're talking about?
The only people to blame for the lack of homosexual geek guides are the homosexuals who haven't written them yet.
Pr0n never asks you to say sorry.
Or heroin for that matter!
What is music when you despise all sound?
Don't settle on an ugly chick. Hot chicks will lay down with just about anything during high school and college, too.
You're telling me that 12" penis I bought isn't enough? Damn! I knew I should have gone for the free credit cards instead!
This proves that being single is definately your safest option.
Click here to read too much about my personal life
SWM with Mod Points, willing to trade with SWF interested in
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but copyright will always protect me.
(this in reference to the "Engineer Your Love Life" piece)
Never, ever, ever, ever compare your prospective mate to a "suitable commercial off-the-shelf (COTS) product" in front of him/her.
what no wang joke??
If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
you will likely get lots of click throughs on your link as many will read to quickly and think it says
Screw on Valentines Day
Being a geek, I'm sure you know how hard it is to remember peoples names, with your head stuffed full of all that stuff you have to remeber for work.
It can be a bit embarising, if, after going out for a couple of weeks you still forget you girls name.
So, my tips is; always date girls with the same name. (this is also handy if your seeing more than one at once).
thank God the internet isn't a human right.
Maybe I'm missing some site, but I'm wondering why there aren't any big geek personals sites.
I mean, this is the group that needs the most help finding girls, right? =) And it would be a way for geek girls to find guys easily, or for other girls to find a high-income, smart guy. What could be better?
__________
[Big Brick Wall]
Only their wallets!
People don't become "sexy" overnight!
It takes lots of hard work (which most football players have done), but after high school, it takes a nice fat wallet on their ass to make the package complete
And who said fat isn't sexy?????
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
Valentine's Games
hi!
The study on how males attract females and the "revenge of the nerds" effect reminded me of a journal entry I made a week ago about a show called High School Reunion. It's interested to see how the "nerd" in High School seems to be one of the more attractive guys to the females now.
Of course, some football players go on to be pretty successful too.
Forget the whales - save the babies.
I tried to ask someone I know for a date, but she's been slashdotted.
They got web pages for this stuff now? Whatever happened to `man getagirl`
is probably one of the most elusive social hacks. i have foudn sometimes it helps to whip out your 12" ti, although some women will say size doesn't matter.
The Geek Crowd is some of the worst when talking about respect for others. If you are not exatly like them, they get upset. At least most of the people I knew were more accpeting than those that hid out in the computer lab all day.
The legendary "Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" by Mikki Halpin (and originally published in Bunnyhop, a great 'zine) is slashdotted at antioch.edu, apparently.
The Google cache is here
Some more mirrors are here, and here at XS4ALL in Holland.
And btw, one of the pages mentions that Mikki has written a book based on the article. The book is available on the Evil Patenting Amazon.com.
I, for one, welcome our new Antichrist overlord.
Some similar stuff at the ODP geek category.
Also see Sex Tips for Geeks (quite funny) by Eric S Raymond (of hacker fame).
Joe Llywelyn Griffith Blakesley
[This post is in the public domain (copyright-free) unless otherwise stated]
You forgot to include Smoochie. So cute and cuddly it just makes you want to stamp her out like a cigarette. Enjoy!
-Valiss
I have to ask. What's a "date"?
If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
I don't care who your girlfriend is, getting her a mouse pad for Valentine's Day, or any other affectionate-laden holiday is a bad, bad, idea. And when I mean bad, I mean real wrath of God type stuff: fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and sea's boiling, 40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
So gentlemen, buy flowers, keep your balls.
"This isn't a study in computer science, its a study in human behavior"
Nice load average. Wanna fsck?
Posted at 1pm, on Feb 14th, and it's upcoming? Well this explains why geeks can't get a date...
I play the "quiet and mysterious" card. Seems to work fairly well. Little social skills needed. Every once in awhile they get to emotionally attatched before they realize geekiness and I manage to snag a bona fide GF. ;-)
So close and yet so far from the world's perfect ID number
Why do I have a feeling that a lot of people that post from this account will be reading this article with great interest
Anonymous Cowards - Oh God, How I hate you
Dear 31337 h4X0r , I find your CowboyNeal to be extremely CowboyNealarific . On this CowboyNeal's Birthday I would Like CowboyNeal to extend my CowboyNeal . Please Rape Me With a Cactus . I Read Your Email , Sincerly, Anonymous Coward .
-------
"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
I would recommend any nerd head over to this free sex story site. http://asstr.org
Spend a little time on the newsgroup learning why jerks get the girls ...then become one. Check the informative website (Fast Seduction) for the "Player's Guide" (read "FAQ").
Also, (despite this breaking one of the tenants of ASF) there is a free dating site at OtherSingles for any of you social hermits who happen to be feeling lonely at the moment. There are a few other sites like friendfinder and a MS affiliated one (who's name slips my mind currently) that have quite a few people on-board, but I believe they are charging.
Anyone know when a GNU Open-Dating project is going to be started. It seems like they have their hands in everything else (pun intended).
If you've not got a date/spouse, you can still send yourself some mad-libs-esque erotic stories for the hell of it from pillowmail.com
creation science book
Here's another helpful guide
Je t'aime Stéphanie
here
Abstract
The hypothesis that females prefer older males because they have higher mean fitness than younger males has been the center of recent controversy. These discussions have focused on the success of a female who prefers males of a particular age class when age cues, but not quality cues, are available. Thus, if the distribution of male quality changes with age such that older male shave on average genotypes with higher fitness than younger males, then a female who mates with older males has fitter offspring allowing the female preference to spread through a genetic correlation. We develop a general model for male display in a species with multiple reproductive bouts which allows us to identify the conditions which promote reliable signalling within an age class. Because males have opportunities for future reproduction,they will reduce their levels of advertising compared to a semelparous species. In addition, because higher quality males have more future reproduction, they will reduce their advertising more than low quality males. Thus, the conditions for reliable signalling in a semelparous organism are generally not sufficient to produce reliable signalling in species with multiple reproductive bouts. This result is due to the possibility of future reproduction, so that as individuals age and the opportunities for future reproduction fade signalling becomes more reliable. This provides a novel rationale for female preference for older mates: Older males reveal more information in their sexual displays.
if you let me show you my BIOS I will stick my coaxial cable in your SCSI port and RAM it until until you go *beep*. at which point you can ride my firewire like a system bus all night until I have system dumb of Siemens(tm). but if the firewall breaks dont have a kernal panic, I have an SSL. and if you're ready for a reboot lets burn at about 16x and then write a table of contents then i'll spit my disc out. but be gentle or i'll blue screen and then need to cntl+alt+delete my self off
but try being born on this lovely holiday. Every year I hear the same thing, "Oh wow, you are so lucky to be born on such a romantic holiday." Uhh, right.
I'm married, and have been for the past year. I dated my wife for about 5 years before we decided to "get hitched", and before that, I had many, many, many dates. Hundreds. And I'm a geek. A programmer. A reader, a nerd, someone who spends more time at the computer than with human interaction. Big deal. The only social stigmas are the ones we give ourselves....I'm really sick of the "geek who can't get a date" stereotype. And yes, i had dates in high school, and in college. I really don't see how you people can "not get dates" or why everyone obsesses over this whole thing, like it's a sociatal curse.
click me
Without being flamebait, this sort of leaves out the other "gay geek" segment. ;)
Besides...how many of you have played WC3 naked with someone?
All a geek needs is something from RealDoll
Trolling is a art,
here
k C: www.proulxresearch.org/papers_how_males_mate.htm+p apers_how_males_mate.htm&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
http://216.239.53.100/search?q=cache:y6myWmI8s_
(forgot the end quote, sorry)
Abstract
The hypothesis that females prefer older males because they have higher mean fitness than younger males has been the center of recent controversy. These discussions have focused on the success of a female who prefers males of a particular age class when age cues, but not quality cues, are available. Thus, if the distribution of male quality changes with age such that older male shave on average genotypes with higher fitness than younger males, then a female who mates with older males has fitter offspring allowing the female preference to spread through a genetic correlation. We develop a general model for male display in a species with multiple reproductive bouts which allows us to identify the conditions which promote reliable signalling within an age class. Because males have opportunities for future reproduction,they will reduce their levels of advertising compared to a semelparous species. In addition, because higher quality males have more future reproduction, they will reduce their advertising more than low quality males. Thus, the conditions for reliable signalling in a semelparous organism are generally not sufficient to produce reliable signalling in species with multiple reproductive bouts. This result is due to the possibility of future reproduction, so that as individuals age and the opportunities for future reproduction fade signalling becomes more reliable. This provides a novel rationale for female preference for older mates: Older males reveal more information in their sexual displays.
PDF is here.
It just seems that most of my gay geek friends do an OK job of hooking up with each other without the trauma (but that's not to say without the usual gay drama). Getting out of the closet is the toughest part.
he cited article claims that when males are young, the show offs are actually the ones who are least likely to succeed later on. This causes a "revenge of the nerds effect:" the football players burn out but the nerds become sexy!"
Yes, but in Darwinian evolution, it doesn't matter when you get laid, it just matters that you get laid. In fact, gettin' it on, earlier in life, technically makes you more reproductively successful because any number of things could cause your early demise, the earlier onset of sexual activity would (assuming a condom-less world) pass on your genetic material to the next generation before the opportunity for premature death to occur.
Although it is an interesting fact. And in modern society, where human mating isn't random, etc. Its probably a good sign for the future of our species. I seem to recall reading about another study that showed an inverse relationship between the IQ of an individual and the age at which they first engaged in sexual activity. So if you are a 30 year old virgin, rejoice, and join Mensa!
Opinionated Law Student Strikes Again!
What the heck? Isn't that kind of thing illegal? Is the page a joke? Please say it is.
Last thing I want is some desperate fluke wasting his life savings to obsess over me.
Geek Valentine
if geeks think about Valentines
and while they are crusing Slash Dot,
they're in their heads, most of their time
not out with the girl's, they cannot
see the fact that all players know
even those who play the football
to get the girls, and wild oats sow,
go out, meet them, or at least call
Open source development is my way of competing with the low-cost programmers in India...
Bart's Guide Mirror.
Be Gentle
--sig fault--
Upcoming? According to my Calendar it's 02-14 today. Oh well, just another example of /. editors not doing their jobs.
Also, how in the hell does this fall into "news for nerds, stuff that matters?" Now if only someone would post a "canaida is dead"
Mike Cho
Sex Tips for Geeks
http://thibs.menloschool.org/help/sextips/
- http://pakman.sytes.net/
A Geek Girl's Valentines Plans
1. Engineering Classes
2. Working tech Support
3. Dinner of Campus Food
4. Playing Game Cube (mutual Valentines Day Present) and watching the Big Lebowski in the Geek Boyfriend's Room.
Also, the best way to nab a geek? hit 'em when they're least expecting it.
bwah-ha-ha-ha
http://www.neystadt.org/john/humor/Girls-Guide-To- Geek-Guys.htm"
I am so creative, look at my cry for attention in my sig.
OK, here's a little secret for all of you: Fast seduction. It works, and it completely changed my life: From being a geek to being a little sexgod.
Start here. Have fun.
It's much easier to buy your love by the song, for $15+tip each.
I am as lonely as the letters "g" in google. :-(
Geek's Guide to Dating:
Step 1: Find member of opposite sex.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Date!
- The Sigless Wonder
Also in that issue of discover is an article entitled "don't be a spineless lover" about the circuitry that controls sex. Cool stuff...
And for those of you who are absolutely hopeless, well, there is always Coincidence Designs...
I've already gotten 12 emails from gals today who want to meet me at their website and make hot love to me! I don't need any guides to dating...I'm a chic magnet!
Almost three years ago to the day :-)
gonzocanuck, a lady, not logged in.
Hell if you like the wrong japanese cartoon or piece of software then /. labels you a troll.
The problem is that alot of geeks are overweight. If you are overweight, no amount of trickery will attract a girl. (at least in America).
Roses are red
Violets are blue
All my base
Are belong to you.
__________
[Big Brick Wall]
Not getting any pussy this V-day? Before you begin the self-hatred, consider this...
You're not the only one. American girls just plain suck. They think they are "princesses" whose pussies are too holy for you to touch. They are mentally fucked up with feminist bullshit that teaches them that men are the enemy. There are plenty of women out there without dates DESPITE the fact that men want to be with them. They just can't get past their own head. So they stay home, watching Joe Millionaire or whatever bullshit TV show they like this week... waiting for the 220 lb. body builder rich man with a porsche who reads poetry to come sweep them off their feet and provide them with WHATEVER THEY WANT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE in exchange for access to their vaginas 10 minutes per week... IF they don't have a "headache." Fuck that.
Find a nice asian, european, or latin girl and VIVA LA DIFFERENCIA! For those who have, you know what I'm talking about.
"American woman... stay away from me"
www.intellectualwhores.com
Driving backwards on the highway of life
but unfortunately, the others gain the right to vote all your money into their pockets. So they still win.
A modern day witchhunt.
Yes, but... where are the boobies...
Ooops! wrong forum.
- Introduction
- How To Be Sexy
- The Art of the Pickup
- The Dating Game
- On Being Good In Bed
- Sex and Consequences
- Relationship Management
- Avoiding the Curse of Oversensitivity
Probably the most unintentionally funny thing ESR has ever written.The thing that I would like to see is a singles guide to meeting people in your late twenties, thirties, and beyond. I can still go to the same old haunts in NoVA and DC that I used to go to when I was in my mid-twenties but those crowds are not getting any older. Where are people disapearing off to besides the suburbs to have their 2.2 little snot monsters?
~~ What's stopping you?
Whoa, I thought that the Dark Lord is in Redmond.
"If I could live to be several hundred
I could take a walk and really wander, really wonder."
This is a free site that helps geeks get laid.
www.fastseduction.com
Dude, jerking off to the goastse guy while breathlessly sputtering a chick's name through your acne-scarred lips doesn't count as "nailing" her.
Just a little heads-up, there.
--grendel drago
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
>
> Screw on Valentines Day
But what if it's parsed "Screw your ex on Valentine's day"? I'd think that'd lead to less clickthroughs, not more.
geek Audio pronunciation of geek ( P ) Pronunciation Key (gk)
n. Slang
1.
1. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
2. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
moo
Some, more than others.
Anyhoo, here's my advice. Find out every last damning detail before you get serious with someone.
If they don't want to talk about themselves, it's a sure sign that they're not worth your time. Oh, they could be modest, but unless they spend 23/6 helping orphans in Assbackwardsistan, chances are, no.
Don't settle for imperfection. Contrary to popular geek belief, perfection isn't derived from any mathematical formula. For example, I'd find a woman who blurts out, "15% REAL cheese!" during sex, perfect. Most 'normal' people would probably find that disturbing to a degree previously unheard of. Eh, what I'm attempting to say is flaws to others might be sources of endless amusement to you. Anyhoo, there's how many billions of people on the planet? If you can't stand that your date picks their ass during dinner, get rid of 'em. The laws of probability are on your side!
What else? Oh yeah, don't settle. Go for the fscking gold, find someone totally compatible with you. Sure, there's the chance that you could possibly end up alone, but hey, you can always donate to a sperm bank if you want to be sure your genes will be passed on, and sex is easy to have plenty of. (If you can't get laid, yes, you're doing something *seriously* wrong; but I can't help you in the space of a Slashdot post.)
See if they do anything romantic for you. Even post-bubble, hot, shallow money-grubbing chicks abound, attempting to get hold of an IT hottie; or more precisely, his bank account. (Which may or may not exist. Hmm, I sense a new FOX show - Joe Software Engineer!) Easy test. If they don't buy you gifts, be wary. Of course, some people just don't have oodles of money. Second test, do they do anything at all romantic for you? If so, hey, you're good to go. But if not, there's one final test. Are they of the belief that romance is for cape-wearin' children o' Polish loins? If so, congratulations, you'll never have to worry about foreplay. You'll be compiling a kernel one moment, on the floor naked the next.
If they don't believe that, however, run the hell away. You've discovered one of the infamous "Buy me flowers! And lobster! And expensive clothing!" wenches.
And finally, for real fun, find a chick who can talk like a pirate.
Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Valentine's day is for sucks.
Wasn't Antioch the college that defined any sexual contact not explicitly consented to as 'nonconsensual' and thus 'rape'? Yeah, I think so.
--grendel drago
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
Funniest line in the Girl's guide to dating Geeks...
"Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands"
My wife would probably have many words to say about that. Even I know that I can be so completely focused on something that I'm oblivious to anything less than 1kt.
let's not forget...
Wanna test my firewall?
Bah, humbug. You lot can go on with your foolish optimism, your hopeful enthusiasm, and your boundless love... I have BETTER things to do this Valentine's Day! Like:
- Trying not to weep openly in public
- Trying not to think about all the great sex my ex-girlfriends must be having right now
- Stockpiling cheap hooch, 'cause once you get started, it can be tough to find the booze store when you need more
- Finding a comfortable, out-of-the-way gutter
- Maybe looking into that heroin addiction idea I've been kicking around
- Harshly silencing those dopey "friends" who always want to "help," as if I have some kind of "problem"
- Pondering a little private self-love, if you know what I mean, but realizing my self-loathing will just shoot me down, anyway
Yes, that's the glorious Valentine's Day I've got planned so far... anyone else have ideas?
Y'know, wouldn't geek guys benefit from something like The Pick Up Artist Guide? I keep hearing good things about this stuff, but I just can't bring myself to act like such... such a marketing weenie, I guess.
Has anyone heard anything about PUA technique, good or bad? I'm kinda curious as to if all those newsgroup fellows are shitting me.
And hey, if you're chock-full of deception and evil, I'm sure you can test it out yourself. Gives me the crawling horrors, however.
--grendel drago
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
Geek Pickup lines
http://3fingersalute.net/wtf/pickup.php
FoundNews.com - get paid to blog.,
*sniffle* I... I think I have something in my eye.
Definitely the most pure and honest example of spite, narcissism and brutal cynicism.
I may have an erection.
--grendel drago
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
I'm sorry, but I'm a former football player and I think thats a pretty broad and unfair generalization. With an attitude such as that towards other groups, it would make sense as to why you might not get any respect.
Nothing worse than seeing two hot girls slowly make out and take each others clothes off while....
Gotta go....
I have a tatoo in binary I find it is an excellent way to judge how any girl will react to any other aspect of myself as a geek. Mostly it repels the incredibly shallow. BTW this is not the primary reason for the tattoo I just thought it looked cool. (it says "ork" what my friends call me instead of "york" ->my last name.)
Maybe PMM is, but thinks like Adult Friend-Finder seem to be populated mostly by middle-aged gay bears and scary, scary women.
Scaaary.
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
http://www.cripplingdepression.com
Doesn't everyone know that hookers are opensource women? Long live the GNU!
Yep, its that time of year again. Time to mourn my singleness with copious amounts of alcohol. For me its not that I can't talk to women, I just find that the one that have anything interesting to say are usually already taken :P. To all the guys out there feeling desprate... hold out for the right one, I've been down the wrong path before, being single sux but it beats being with the wrong one. May you all be having a better Valintines then I will!
BOFH, My model for being a sysadmin :)
Given that the typical amount of time it would take a /. geek to find a date is about a year of concerted effort, this article comes just in time for next year's V day. Or maybe the one after that.
That green slime had it coming.
Wow, I guess Slashdot decided to put up an April Fool's post early.
Massive networking attempt for friends
..I think he's got it.
It works well when your natural expression isn't quite angry, but people seem to think it is.
Angry, quiet, and mysterious. Chicks must think yer a secret agent out to kill some random guy, and that you're sitting in a podunk restraunt/diner at 5 am solely because of some meaningless Orange Alert.
"He must be here to kill someone!"
Kinda helps if you're wearing a suit, though.
Anyway, if you can't pull that off, here's a tip that'll work for even the heaviest, most unkempt system admin.
MAKE EYE CONTACT.
CHICKS DIG THAT.
Really, they do. Most men can't keep their eyes off the boobs. By maintaining eye contact, you gain an inherent karma bonus with chicks. (Plus prevent them from staring at yer groin. Sure, they say 'women don't do that sort of thing!'
They also say Communism works.)
Girls with dual floppies make my hard drive spin.
Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
Perhaps I'm being pessimistic. A better way to look at it is that it makes every other day of the year look that much better.
Perhaps what would make the lonely geek feel much better, to go out to a restaurant this evening and overhear a couple having an spat. "Whew! Good thing I'm on my own!" Then again, a mind receptive to another frequency might think thus: "Ah, how unfortunate I am, not to have an antagonist. Sigh."
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
That's what I thought this said at first.
I was hoping to read about wooing her with olive oil, feta cheese, some lamb, wine, and then settling down for a night of... um... back door action.
Geek guide to dating? Couldn't be as much fun.
Huh?
Depends greatly on the ex in question, though, doesn't it?
Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachtani?
www.fogbound.net
that eventually succeeded, and now has a happy relationship with a nice (and -very- hot) woman.
.2 c.
1- Never ever show that you need a mate; if she approaches you it's because she needs you, not the other way around.
2- Being not good looking of course doesn't help when you look for "a girl a nite", but it's damn useful to find the right one to spend your life with.
3- There aren't clever but ugly OR damn-hot but stupid girls. One of the prettiest girls I've ever met was a computer programmer; the ugliest one was stupid as a brick.
4- Stop looking for a mate. -I'm serious- You'll find one when you'll stop searching. Focus your interests on something else and do it; don't let the lack of sex drive you crazy or you can be damn sure that no girl in the world will be interested in you.
It worked for me.
Just my
here's the key:
screw em' all and let destiny sort it out.
So if i meet a nice girl, and Im a little shy i leave her flowers with a note. but do i sign the note 'your secret admirer' or 'an anonymous coward'?
A guy at work calls Valentine's Day "National Singles-Awareness Day" I thought it was pretty damn funny.
Good point. How about "Screw someone else's ex tonight!"
If they stopped to really think about it, that's what most people in relationships will be doing tonight anyways, right?
In other words, Relax.
I can sum up my opinion in one link FLASH WARNING
Male breadwinning is a lot more important than it was in the past. Wives don't enlist in the workforce anymore. The low paying jobs 1 or 2 wives are willing to put up with don't provide anything. The modern 50,000 watt flamethrower of male breadwinning expectation expects results.
But for those of us who find getting dates easy, are we meant to feel excluded from the world of geek?
First, acknowledge the mushiness of the holiday with flowers, candy, or some of the usual bull involving red/pink/white/hearts. This demonstrates sensitivity and actual awareness of a world besides Diablo II. Avoid anything that could be construed by the utterly paranoid as an attack on appearance. (Makeup, for example. If you don't know for damn sure that she would appreciate lipstick, don't get it. It implies that the way she looks at the moment is not utterly perfect. Which it is.) My boyfriend gave me a fluffy white teddy bear holding a zippered heart that contained a heart pencil and a gift certificate to Trader Joe's. Gift certificates are useful, especially when presented in the correct fashion. Style is everything.
Second, get her something actually useful that she will appreciate, such as a mousepad. Make sure it is something that she likes and will use. Giving me a computer game other than Bejeweled would be worse than useless. I do not play them and I do not like them. A man giving me that would be labelled 'insensitive moron', because he had not picked up on my attitude. My boyfriend gave me a hat bearing the words "Azz 1337". I will wear this, and it is personalized! A gift certificate to geek store of choice would also be excellent.
Neglecting the holiday-fluffy category leaves you looking insensitive and unaware of romance. Neglecting the geek category leaves you looking insensitive because you don't pay enough attention to her.
Good luck, gentlemen.
"Singles Awareness Day" seems more appropriate.
My girlfriend had a crush on Optimus Prime when she was young.
Seriously.
All my base, my darling, are belong to you is a funnier poem, than the one I sung but if you think your base implies a homerun look out 'cause she will send up the bomb to you
Open source development is my way of competing with the low-cost programmers in India...
Too bad we can't M2 mods with reasons.
This would definitely be:
Score: 0, Redundant
Troll (Unfair)
Insightful (Fair)
Funny (Fair) [X]
Interesting (Fair)
All my base, my darling, are belong to you
is a funnier poem, than the one I sung
but if you think your base implies a homerun
look out 'cause she will send up the bomb to you
Open source development is my way of competing with the low-cost programmers in India...
Mod Parent up. This poll is far better than the actual one.
Poppy cock. I've never met a geek worth his salt that wasn't quite at home with the pots and pan, *particularly* the wok.
There is some truth to the matter that when they are *working* and *single* they're more inclined to think than cook, but when involved in a relationship they aren't just cooking for *themselves.* So in that respect along their might be some truth to it.
I find that your "but" is far closer to the truth than the article is.
I'm the chef in my house, and I've earned that right and responsibility by merit. My stir-fryed random alone would make the Iron Chef blush in shame.
And I'm damned proud of it.
KFG
For the official record, my wife is fun, smart, sexy, and:
Sure, I have to spend a couple hundred bucks a year on Valentines and our Anniversary, but it's way cheaper than a couple nights at a titty bar or whatever you poor schmucks have to do. More importantly, it's a shared bank account and she makes more than I do. Bwa ha ha!
</div>is here. I laughed out loud seeing htis. :)
All I know is that flowers are too f***ing expensive.
There's really nothing I can do about it, and I know $25 for a dozen roses is a good price (on v-day), but honestly...
Those damn florists jack up their prices for freaking PLANTS for gods sake! I think I'll just start growing my own or something... use my mad geek skillz to create a magnificent hydroponics lab for roses... and put those bastards out of business...
Insert clever one liner here.
You are my hero.
R = P / M
where R is the romantic level, P is price, and M is mass. This seems to work in some cases: when flowers are the same mass, the ones that cost more are more romantic. Ditto for wine. Diamonds are light and pricey, and thus even more romantic than flowers. However, RAM, no matter what the bus speed, has not been found to be romantic. This has led some to propose the formula:
R = P / (M * U)
where U is utility - thus, the more useful it is, the less romantic it is. Mathemeticians are still applying this formula in the field, looking for counter-examples and debating the consequences.
If you think of it in terms of humans before marriage, this kind of thing makes sense.
Imagine of women kept the kids with them even while going from male to male. The jocks probably have the best genes for early survival, so they pass them on. The older, well-established guys, on the other hand, can actually take care of these kids and help them survive.
It's V-day, so I'll take the liberty to whine about this for a while.
We raise and pay for the kids you have from when you were gullible enough to think the guy who won't use a condom really did love you and want to take care of you, but we get no respect.
We bring you Internet pr0n, but we get no respect.
We invent video game systems and come up with Pac-Man, Metroid, and GTA3, but we get no respect.
We design the overpriced gas guzzler you use to pick up chicks, but we get no respect.
We invent p2p, and we tolerate your insistence on calling it 'Napster.' Anything in return? Nothing.
how does this revenge-of-the-nerds effect help me if I won't be able to get a date until I'm losing my hair, impotent, and too crotchety to feel like dealing with a signifigant other, anyway?
Dear Cmndr Taco,
I find your CowboyNeal to be extremely CowboyNealarific.
On this CowboyNeal's Birthday I would Like CowboyNeal to extend my CowboyNeal.
Please Accept This Token of my Love.
I Love you,
Sincerly,
CmdrTaco.
...that the place for geeks to pick up chix was here. After all, a geek only needs photoshop to... upgrade... himself. ;)
Do you know why the road less traveled by is littered with the bones of the unwary?
Should be? Should be? You fucking retard!
So, tell me, who raped who? If a girl and I (hey, I can dream) hook up and shag without explicit consent, does that mean I raped her by default 'cause I'm the boy? Does that seem a tad sexist? What if it's hot two-girl action? Do they arrest the one with shorter hair?
Do you have any idea what a pantslessly stupid idea it is? Do you have any idea how demeaning it is to women who are actually assaulted to define rape so fucking broadly?
Shit, you're an AC. I'm just pissing into the wind.
--grendel drago
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
"Are you clean?"
Our Biology professor wished us a Happy Holloween at the end of class.. ;>
It might as well be Holloween for some of us.
So the football players get the chicks aged 16-30, and then the nerds get them from 30+ complete with emotional baggage from the relationships with football players.
...
I think I'll stay home watching Adult Swim on Cartoon Network.
Hey, I'm just your average shit and piss factory.
SOVIET RUSSIA Geek Guides date YOU!!!
Windows(any version) - Your highly unstable model look alikes. They look hot and they're very loose so they pick up lots of viruses.
Mac - Artistic girls, enough said.
Linux - these would be the ugly fat girls. Very utilitarian doesn't look pretty but it gets the job done right. It cooks, it cleans, AND it does the laundry! and all you have to do is love it back.
I'd have to say, I'd want my girls like a mac.
"I murder kittens, robot. Whats it to 'ya?" - Badguy
1. shower
2. throw away jap/scat/fecal/tentacle rape vids
3. shave
4. stop meeting michael at the truckstop bathroom 5. meeting someone at a glory hole is not a date 6. ???
7. profit!
I'm a geek. I am in pretty decent condition, am fairly muscular and have been told I should play football because of my build. I am also one of the better CS students at my university.
Click here or a puppy gets stomped!
coupled folk have to spend a lot of money so that their SO will still think they love them...
Actual phone conversation this morning at work:
SO: Hey, I forgot to get you something for Valentine's Day. Hope you still love me.
Me: Of course I do. And I forgot too.
Yet another artificial holiday perpetuated by Hallmark and florists to keep the profits rolling in. We haven't even bothered getting Valentine's Day cards since maybe the first year we were together.
These are the two very different goals that guys have when meeting women. Many (most?) "geek" guys are more interested in having a relationship. A good one may include the other part anyway. ;-) Most "normal" guys are more interested in getting laid, with as many women as possible. In most cases, these two goals are mutually exclusive. So, you face a choice.
If you want to get laid as much as possible, follow the advice of the Tom Leykis radio show. Be a jerk. Don't call her back. Tell her you'll call on Monday, then don't call til Thursday. Don't spend money on her -- make her pay (say you forgot your wallet, etc). Don't be available when she wants to go out, make her think you have more important things (or women) to do than her. For the type of woman who will screw anything that moves, this will only make her want you more. Go out on a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Don't go out on Friday or Saturday unless it's a guaranteed lay - remember you want her thinking you're doing something even more fun without her.
This stuff works, as long as you're willing to do hot chicks who've done dozens (if not hundreds) of other guys before you. A great little trick they've been talking about on the show lately is to make up fake ATM receipts with large account balances. This should be easy for the geeks - just scan your receipt, edit in gimp to give yourself a 6 figure balance, and print. Crumple it up a little to make it nice and believable. Then talk to some hot chick, tell her you have to go to some important meeting but give her your phone number and write it on that ATM receipt. She will call and you will get laid.
Now, let's face it. Many of us geeks are nice guys and just don't have the balls to do stuff like the above. We don't get laid by chicks like that - not because of our looks, but because we treat them nicely (oh, he's so nice -- and boring!!). But for many of us (myself included), that's ok - we'd rather run nothing but Windows 2.0 than have anything to do with those brainless dopey chicks who put out on command. I mean, come on -- ewww! Do you know what (or how many different... 'things') have been in that? No thank you! Have some self respect, lady!
For those of us in this group, we want a real relationship, with a lady who has a brain. I'm proud to say that I found one, without being a jerk, and ended up marrying her. I'm totally shy and awkward, with no confidence in social situations. So what worked? Personals.
Many people still look at personal ads with a stigma -- "Oh, he couldn't get a date so he had to resort to THAT! What a loser!" But screw them. It's practically the perfect way to find the right person, not just someone who's ok. Find out about the other person before wasting time or investing a lot of emotion into it. Search, wait, and hold out for that perfect gal (or guy).
Personally, I used Yahoo! Personals, about 4 years ago, back when it was still free. I responded to about 2 ads a week - some went as far as phone calls, some even went to a dinner date after several emails and phone calls. None went farther because none of these women felt "right." I never felt totally comfortable. That's ok, though. Nobody needs to be in a rush for this stuff!
Finally I posted my own ad and got 2 responses. One was thousands of miles away looking for a penpal. Ok, whatever. The other started emailing back and forth and then we started calling each other. The first night we talked for 4 hours on the phone. I never do that, much less with someone I've only emailed for a week. Needless to say, it was a sign that she was "the one." I felt totally comfortable on our first date (SW Episode 1 -- the movie sucked but the date rocked!). We just belonged together. 3 years later we were married.
So, you see, I am a big proponent of personals if you want to find that special someone. It worked beautifully for me, though that's no guarantee for anyone else. Relationships are a lot of work, no doubt about that - but what you get out of it is much more than you put in (and much more satisfying on all levels than the guys above who are just getting laid with a bunch of skanks -- but hey, if that's your thing, great! Have fun!).
Unfortunately most of the sites now require payment. That sucks but totally understandable. I don't know if I would have met my wife if one (or both) of us had had to pay. There's no guarantee that you'll get anything out of any one ad, so it's a crapshoot, with pretty poor odds. For geeks, though, I can recommend Peer2Peer which is made only for geeks. I believe it's still free, but it's been some time since I looked at it.
Anyway, good luck, be smart, and have fun -- whether you choose option #1 or #2, they're both ok as long as it's right for you!
More like the revenge of the smart guys who end up making a lot more money than the big brauny guy working as a McDonald's manager.
-- taking over the world, we are.
I live in Seattle and this town is probably one of the worst towns in the US (Next to Silicon Valley) to be a single guy in.
Bars are never an option due to the fact that the majority of women are literally afraid of being 'hit on' or some other personality issue (usually because they didn't get that pony from daddy on their 16th birthday or someting like that).
I've also found (IMO) that attitudes on Dating/picking up women vary from City to City.
In Vancouver B.C., people love to go out and have fun. This is a great place to go meet down to earth women.
In San Fanciscisco, women are approachable but they like to get to know you for a bit and then go from there.
London is like Vancouver but magnified by 10 when it comes to living life and having fun.
I explored many options and have found some things that work:
1)Take Group Dance lessons. Salsa, Swing, whatever. In most dance studios you have to switch partners throughout the class and you can talk/flirt during the lessons.
2)Go to public bars or places that offer formal dancing (salsa and swing especially). Women who go to most of these places in Seattle are going to dance or have fun. These places are great if you want to get to know someone without the bar 'stigma' of one night stands or geting shot down in flames. Also, a great icebreaker, while dancing, is telling them that you're learning how to dance. Women will eat that up.
Take classes in non-technical topics you want to learn about. This is a great way, in the very least, to meet people who share the same interest as you
(side note the 'gold digger' types of women don't tend to frequent these places)
I've never tried a dating service or enlisted 'professional' services. However, I've seen friends who have used dating services and the toughest part of Dating services is writing your 'about me' section and what picture you use. (Make the picture a good one. Even if you have to use Photoshop/The Gimp..just kidding).
The main problem with witing your bio are the differences in writing and creativity of men Vs. women. In the Seattle area publicaion, the Stranger, check out the differnce in writing styles of the 'Men Seeking Women' and 'Women seeking Men' sections. (side note: This link may be busy or down today due to the Stranger's publicaion of free valentines ads/love notes on a different part of this site)
See how the 'Men seeking ads are so bland and the 'Women seeking are much more creative? You gotta put some serious work in the bio to get noticed. You gotta find a way to show how you stick out amongst all the other candidates.
Keep in mind, just because you may get shot down, it's not your fault. It's something with them. Also, just because you may not have a connection with a woman you meet, don't burn bridges. She may very well have a single friend(s) for you to meet. I've definitely hooked up in this manner before
Finally, (and this is the most important one) don't, under any circumstances, regress into techno-babble mode for the non-technical type women. Just say you play with computers all day and leave it at that. Once you're seriously dating, then resume the techno-babbble.
Dolemite
Save the World! Use a Quote!
So if you are a 30 year old virgin, rejoice, and join Mensa!
No, the smart thing to do would be to get a life. Besides the last thing Mensans need is another 30 year old virgin... (Explaining the Facts of Life over and over...)
There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and AT&T and DuPont, Dow, General Electric, and Exxon
Gotta love a bunch of techies who entirely dismiss reason when it's in the way of fantasy.
/. before wandering off so quickly. /.ers should by now have mentioned Eric S. Raymond's detailed dating guide, while for the halfway there, need-to-RTFM, folk, here are the man pages on woman parts.
Okay, let's see if you can figure this out if I say it in small words.
Feynman _ wrote _ those _ books.
And what a surprise, he was biased towards making himself look good. I'ld recomend Gleick's Genius or any of a dozen other sources for a less biased account.
The short form? Feynman was massively insecure, never was as successful at dating as his own writing makes it appear, and spent much of his life paying off one or more women who blackmailed him after some ill-considered romp or other.
Oh, btw, I hung out with one of his former assistants back in '85 to '87 and she was mighty clear about the distance between the reality and his own claims. Let's just say that she was not impressed with his social skills or his appeal to women. (And since she thought *I* was cute, clearly she had no problem with geek guys per se.)
After way too many years of seeing nerds (derogotory term intentional) citing Feynman's misogynist, fictionalized, self-aggrandizing, b*lllsh*t as a training manual, I've really had enough.
Okay, moving on to happier things, you folk really should check
The ever thorough bellus quies put together this far better set of geek dating links. At least a dozen
Those, came from $$$exyGal's links.
Or you could try hanging out here or here to finding the geekishly inclined, though first you might want to download and read this painful but excellent overview.
If on the other hand (heh, heh) you've already given up on finding a human of your own, then you might want to drop by here, here, and here.
Good luck to all of us.
Rustin
Data is the lever, rigor the fulcrum, brains the force that drives it all.
And in the event that you've been given the honor of taking a lady out... you might need this...
http://www.tieanecktie.com/
You just don't need at that stuff.... ...if you've got a really big penis.
quit spending Valentines day reading guids and go meet someone.
really, a no brainer.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Gotta go... ...put in "Where The Boys Aren't Volume 27".
Version 2.0 is here.
Usually I hate v-day, but this year, I'm slightly less pissed by it all, since I'm not single. However she is currently on the other side of the planet, and doesn't get back for 6 months. Why is it never easy?
About 15 yars ago, me and some friends were going out to a movie. As we were leaving the building I asked a woman(whom I had never seen before) that happened to be going out the same door if she wanted to join us for a movie, she said yes. we were marrid 18 months later.
Now in my case I'm sure it was my incredible charisma, good looks, intellect, and my mad spelling skillz, that won her over(yeah, right).
The point is ask. you will most likely be reject, but you might not. It seems to me, most geek need some thicker skin, and the ability to relize you can't controll the enviroment you live in like you do the enviroment on your computer.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Some links are broken, some are just too darn slow. Hope these help:
(thanks, archive.org and google!)
A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
Bart's Dating Guide for Geeks
Huh - there's all these /. geeks with no girls at all, and you have two. greedy.
Are these people really so stupid as to think we have no idea how to communicate with other people? Women aren't this mysterious alien race (though I realize on slashdot, it may seem that way.) They're just other people, be nice to them and the rest will come. It's not rocket science (which I realize some of you here have mastered, so this shouldn't be hard at all! :P)
If it's off topic, don't mention it. Most importantly, if it's flamebait, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
/. community as a whole.
That sounds like good, sound advice for the
Who needs real girls when you can easily pick one up from #hotteensex on IRC?
Why bother.
The yellow face, it burns us. Stay in your dank cave and guard your precious.
Your wife is a fat elaphent impersonator and your girlfriend is a tranny that you met at the porno shop. Fagghorx!!! That tranny is a boyfriend not a girlfriend!!!
Guy's Guide to Geek Guys
:) Alas, this isn't a *guide* yet. Just a version 0.1 of what may become a guide one day. Maybe. :)
:) They are a subculture distinct from the rest of the population, whether gay or straight. They tend to be very smart, interesting, and very idiosyncratic.
:)
:). Still, geeks tend to be less extraverted and more shy than non-geeks. This means they might prefer to stay home rather than go to a club - so you're less likely to run into them in bars - and it may be difficult to convince one to go out.
:)
:)
:) They are keenly aware of the different value systems the two cultures represent (especially when they're mutually contradictory), and go to great lengths to project their membership and independence of both groups, often simultaneously.
There isn't really much of a "gay geek guide", so I figured I might just as well start one. Besides, it's Friday afternoon and I don't feel like doing any work.
On to the subject.
What do non-geek guys need to know? The most important bit is that geek guys are, well, geeky.
Physical appearance is usually of secondary importance to gay geeks, although not as much as one may suspect. The geek culture usually views appearance as secondary to intellectual prowess - which leads to an interesting clash of cultures. Gay geeks may think that taking care to look good is beneath them - but nevertheless pay attention to how others present themselves. Just don't point this out to them - they'll immediately deny it.
Participation in sports is usually right out. There is a contingent of sporty geeks, but even they tend towards non-contact, non-confrontational sports, such as frisbee or cycling. Many geeks are altogether aphysical.
Social contact is notoriously a stumbling block, but usually not as bad as in the case of straight geeks. Our playing field is much more level - let's face it, we're all guys, we're really rather straightforward (ahem, gayforward?
Not surprisingly, gay geeks tend toward the introverted, analytic type. They make great intellectual partners - they tend to be well-read, have broad knowledge as well as many areas of expertise, and can be surprisingly cultured. Intellectual nimbleness is highly valued, and even their sense of humor tends towards the analytic and absurd - which can be good or bad, depending on how far it's taken.
Though there are many types of geek, computer geeks in particular will spend a lot of time exploring computer systems. The machine is for them both something to play with and something to learn about - and they greatly enjoy both activities. They will also often enjoy 'geeking out' - talking shop with other geeks. Don't try to stop them, it's impossible. Just take comfort knowing that after half-an-hour or so, after they've finished geeking out about the latest operating system thingamajigs or what have you, they'll be more than happy to come back to earth and talk about normal things again.
More often than not, they'll instinctively tend to analyze everything, and act in thought-out ways. It's rare for them to be extemporaneous and wild - that mode of behavior is contrary to what they value. Very few gay geeks are also drama queens. So know what you're going in for.
Geeks and gays both build very idiosyncratic subcultures, with very distinct values and ways of communication. This usually means gay geeks are doubly idiosyncratic.
On the plus side, gay geeks are usually much more conscious of their quirks than straight geeks or gay non-geeks. They realize some of their fascinations, their anime, sci-fi, computer games, or what have you, are just ways of asserting individual difference - and they derive much of the pleasure from this separation. Don't expect them to want to conform to any popular mold.
---
This work is hereby donated to the public domain. Do what you want with it.
CnC Generals just came out!!!
I'm sure my woman will understand.
What is so special about Valentines Day anyway which in my opinion is simply over commercialised?
Why do people assume that because you are single that you must be unhappy and looking?
What is the obsession with having a partner anyway? I know I'm single and happy like that and am not remotely looking or interested prefering instead to do things that interest me, rather than try find some 'bird'.
Don't waste your time with this crap.
http://www.pickupguide.com/classic/
You mean like certain "open-minded" churches who say "well it's ok to be gay, but gay sex is a sin so you have to be celibate". Some deal that is. A lot of people deal with their homophobia by becoming "tolerant" - they pretend that they don't mind gays as long as they're some sort of flouncing, asexual "auntie" (male, I don't know what the female version would be) or some such nonsense. I say, either come right out and say you're an ignorant homophobe, so the rest of us can spit on you, or STFU and let people fark who they wanna fark. That is all.
Freedom: "I won't!"
Pah! Call yourself a real geek?!
We all know that red shift occurs when objects are moving away from one, and blue shift when they are moving towards
1. Put on porn.
2. Local girls all make a beeline for your living room at ~ speed of light.
3. As the girl moves towards the porn-watching geek the peaks and troughs of her wave get pushed closer together in real space -> wavelength shorter -> frequency higher -> blue shift.
4. profit!!!
like duh!
use Blunt::Instrument;
Wow, it's nice to se this kind of rhetorical passion directed towards something other than OS "holy wars" or whether emacs or vi is superior...
Freedom: "I won't!"
E2 has a lot of great guides like this(you just need to know where to find them).
My favorite part of the A Guy's Guide to Geek Girls page:
7. Geek girls like Spock better than Kirk. Don't ask, it just IS.
Fascinating!
"Folks just call him Buckethead." -- Les Claypool
Now all the geek girls will be slashdotted! This doesn't bode well for me!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Toys have been the answer, to counter loneliness, and man, I've got a _lot_ of toys.
I suggest using the Layguide instead.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
www.teslabox.com
never before has a slashdot article helped me on such a personal level.
- Joe
date while posting to slashdot on my phone during valentine's day dinner" post!
What, no HOWTOs, FAQs, or man pages?
some guys learn how to be "pick up artists" by accident. Fortunately for all the rest of us, there's the layguide. This stuff is real, and the principles involved (when properly applied) do work wonders.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
www.teslabox.com
Time to burn some Karma...
A new site (1 week old) for Australian Christian Singles (including geeks!).
Read reviews of shopping cart software
Older men have money. Women enjoy sex, but they're really after economic security for their offspring. In the other direction, older men know they can provide for the children of any aged woman, so they choose entirely for sex. That's why the skew is the way it is.
One thing I ran into when attempting to date geeks was the "Just Friends" syndrome.
I don't know how it is for most women, but before I am comfortable enough to date a guy, I want to be friends with him, so I'll know he's not a total freak and I'll be comfortable out on a date with him. Also, a lot of my attraction to guys depends not on the body, but on sense of humor, and so forth...
Problem was, by the time I got to know guys enough to admit that I was attracted to them, they'd settled me as A Friend in their worldview, and couldn't think of me as someone they'd be willing to date. One guy freaked out a little and told me it would be like dating his sister.
Allow me to just scream in frustration here.
And don't, for the love of gods, say you just want to be friends with a girl when paying attention to her in a friendly way when you really do want to get with her. Unless a girl's extremely persistent, that's a clear signal to her to give up with the flirting.
Valentine's Day was yesterday, you insensitive clod!
""Nice LAAAYdeeee, oh! with the pushing, and the shoving, I can't help but notice your eyes, nice EYYYYeeees, are glowing like the blinkenlights on my fileserver, in the mother's basement, LAAAAYdeeee...oh MY!""
Hey, that's a pretty good Dean Martin imitation.
From what I've found (at least in the Orlando, FL area), based on chatting in local-based gay rooms, there are NO true gay geeks besides myself.
Sure, you'll find gays that are interested in computers enough for a job, but they don't really live the "geek lifestyle" per-se - they go out clubbing and socializing. The other thing I've found is that they're very superficial in what they're looking for - they'd rather have a guy who meets their physical attractiveness requirements before someone with similar interests.
Then you've got people like me who are looking for his ideal match. The problem is, the gay population is so small it doesn't provide you with a diverse enough dating pool. So you have people who are endlessly searching for a soul mate who doesn't exist.
I've seen a couple of gay geeks on Slashdot, a few on Everything2.com and I think gaygeeks.org's user database could be printed on a single sheet of paper. I mean let's face it, a geek will be on the Internet - so either there's a whole hell of a lot of closted gay geeks, or there just aren't many of them...
What about guys guide to geek guys or the girls guide to geek girls? (Although the former would probably be used more than the latter!)
Personally, I think a study on the number of gay geeks vs straight ones would be interesting.
While I may be biased (being a gay geek myself), in that I know lots of gay geeks (All guys!), I have to wonder about the various ratios. Is the ratio of gay/straight geeks higher than normal?
My email addy? should be easy enough.
"I thought it was "Scream and I'll kill you"..."
"Oh, Timmy, that was the sweetest, most threatening thing I've ever read!"
Great. Most guys would prefer to be a "chick magnet", but as long as you're happy, that is all that counts!
Girls can be geeks too. Why aren't we as concerned about them having the chance to find the right GUY?
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
Yes, in some cases not taking something into consideration can be done in an exclusionary manner. This is a problem if it is done on an official (or authoritative) level, when used to deny benefits to a certain group.
But in most cases (and this is one of them), non-mention just means exactly that. It wasn't mentioned. If I say that "I like Chinese and Mexican food.", it doesn't mean that I hate Jamaican food.
For some people this is a real issue. Telling them to just 'relax' kinda trivializes it, don't you think?
People need to pick their battles wisely. If someone is dedicated to fighting homophobia, then they should try to pick places where homophobia actually exists. Going around claiming "HOMOPHOBIA!" at every non-mention of the fact that some people prefer those of their own sex doesn't accomplish anything except desensitize people to any actual problems.
"If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude." At this point, they are just propogating stereotypes.
Yeah, I think I'm not one of the droids she is looking for.
__
Men with no respect for life must never be allowed to control the ultimate instruments of death.
GW Bu
I'm currently in the process of coding up a singles matchmaking site in PHP/PostgreSQL. It will have a very specific target in mind (Christian singles) but I might be interested in licensing the code to someone that wants to set up a site for a different target. I hope to have the code ready in a month or two.
:)
Feel free to e-mail micah AT yoderdev DOT com if you might want to try it. Maybe we can work something out.
I met wife # 2 in a local Personals ad. If you are going to find something in common, you might as well take a look at some of them. Not all were stupid and probably got a decent response.
Step one was to answer an add and say something about myself. I got a call a few days later. We talked on the phone for a long time before meeting. We both got a chance to know each other first.
She's a looker too! She said whe did the ad on the dare of a co-worker and got some real scary replies. Try not to be scary, guys.
bob@Osprey:~>
It's very simple, and can be summed up in one word.
RUN!!!
Escape while you can! You only THINK you want a woman in your life. Don't do it, nooooooo!!!
"People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die." -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
Are you sure eunuchs are good in bed...
-rimshot-
~~~
Click here, you know you wanna!
No!!! No my precious pornography!
you got me!!
damn you slashdot troll!
damn you straight to hell!
Don't be so hard on yourself. Your mother loved you, right? No? Oh, I am sorry.
DMCA, Hollings, Palladium. What might have sounded like paranoia is now common sense.
Occurs to me that if you see someone reading "The Geek Guide to Dating" you should probably take that as a warning!!
Kinda like the cookbook I'm writing. It's called "Why No One Eats at My House".
~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
I love games/anime/j-pop/hentai. I have had 1 rl bf in my life but he could only stay in the US for 6 months then had to return to Japan.
... and aren't alergic to animals (I have a rabbit and 2 dogs that just had 6 puppies, of which I'm keeping 1, so 8 dogs now/3 in april).
I want to find someone who shares my intrests. Someone who wants to play games most of the day, and make out or get it on while listening to j-pop. I don't have high standards. I know that gamer-otakus are not supermodels, and I realise that beggars can't be choosers. I don't care if they are skinny with bad teeth or simpsons-comic-book-store-guy types, as long as they are seriously into games/anime/j-pop/hentai
I have tried meeting ppl at the following places -
School ~ I was homeschooled through highschool, Now I am 17 and in college (currently getting an associates in PC & LAN management). My college is 80-something % female. None of the chicks are majoring in comp related stuff and are all married and/or have kids and/or are straight. All the guys are married or gay. Even if I do manage to find someone who is avalible, just about everyone is 22+, and my overbearing mother going to say they're to old.
Places ppl with my intrests hang out ~ There are no arcades around here, the closes thing is a Chuck E. Cheese's... every one there is 10-, and I don't want to go to jail. The game stores are 20 mins on a highway away, I can't drive, and it's very difficult to get my mother to drive me to them (since she knows I will try to meet guys there, when I could just buy games online and not meet guys/she wouldn't have to get off her fat ass). The times I have managed to get there, guys just stare drooling or with a "wtf, hot chick in a game store, is she lost??" look, and get scared away when I talk to them. Anime conventions are always held far away.
On the internet... ~ Every one lives far away (okay, there are some who live in Chicago IL, and I'm in Gary IN, which might not seem to far away to most ppl, but it's damn far to someone who can't drive) and my mother won't let me meet them anyway.
Okay, after my ex-bf left the US, I had one more online relationship, and realised they are pointless. Then I accepted the fact that I will probably always be alone.
BUT
This year, my life is going wounderfull - they FINALY made DSL avalible in my area last month, which means I've been getting alot more anime, and can spend my allowence all on games; now that I've started college I feal that I actualy have a shot at the career I want; etc - and I'm very happy. So sometimes I'm playing a game or watching anime and think, "I am so happy!! I wish there was someone here that is made as happy by this as I am." or "Crap, I'm stuck on this part of a game, I wish there was someone who could get online and find the solution so that I don't have to stop playing to do it."
So, is there hope for me to find someone?? And if so, how should I?? Or should I just re-accept that I will be alone and continue imagining anime/game characters love me?
ability to relize you can't controll the enviroment you live in like you do the enviroment on your computer.
Clearly you work on a total *nix environment. There's no fscking way a Win32 guy would actually feel like they control their computer!
True story from a girl geek...
:-)
Just over 2 years ago I met an attractive guy geek at a New Years Eve party. I wasn't looking for a relationship, just enjoying the conversation, but when he referenced something on slashdot I was delighted. There were some other geeks at the party, but nobody but the sexy guy and me read Slashdot regularly.
That took the two of us into a discussion of databases, and things took off from there. By Valentines Day he had admitted he was in love with me, and we married on Halloween that same year. Still happily married, too!
Maybe if guy geeks talked about articles on Slashdot they'd attract more girl geeks.
It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus
What I find concerning (funny? interesting?) is the fact that this is marketed as a solution not just for the Internet but also for the "corporate intranet".
Takes employee perks to a new level...
-- "I believe the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully." - George W. Bush, 29 September 2000
4- Stop looking for a mate. -I'm serious- You'll find one when you'll stop searching.
/. for creating a forum where I can voice these feelings anonymously and know that maybe one or two fellas out there can empathize with me and maybe they can realize they're not alone.
I swear to God this is the mother of all fucking lies. This may work for some guys, but it did all of shit for me. During high school, I was just a pariah that NO ONE would talk to and my grades sucked. During college, I learned how to make friends and do ok in school at the same time. That's eight years of my life that I didn't even consider women, really.
Then I get a pretty decent job for a fresh-out CS (I'm good, but not that good--I was lucky). I start working out. Can run three miles now, so I'm in ok shape (not great, but ok). I'm sorta funny and charming, and a lot of women seem to like hanging out with me ok, but they'd sooner want to date me as have a 6 inch railroad spike driven through their heads.
At this point, I've pretty much resigned myself to be a virgin forever, and you have the fucking gall to tell me to stop searching!
Sorry, I mean I know you probably mean well and all, but imagine--before you met your woman--someone giving you that piece of bullshit advice to stop looking and you'll strike gold.
I swear to god the next person who tells me that she'll fall into my lap if I stop trying so hard is going to get a royal asskicking. (and i mean the next person who says this in meatspace--all the slashdot trolls i'll just ignore).
Ok, I'm going to try to go to bed now without crying. At this point, I'd like to thank
One last note: I've seen a lot of bravado on this site lately from the target demographic for maxim that claim to be geeks and yet are totally outgoing, athletic, etc. Look, if you wanna be the geek that grew into a beautiful swan, then more power to you--that's great. But those who claim to have been popular and well-loved their whole lives, with nary a trace of self-doubt, you guys aren't geeks. You aren't nerds, either. You're really well-loved, together people who happens to be smart. There's a difference.
Don't miss this one. :-)
http://science.martianbachelor.com/BP.html
Too Little Too Late???
I was given the same advice 30 years ago.
I took it.
I'm still single.
Weight did not seem to have much to do with it, I am tall, skinny/wiry/muscle-y, but the women I met just drive me up the wall with their illogical wants, such as never liking the clothes I pick out(I like sweatshirts), want new car all the time ( I want my old one cuz I have all the parts to it and know how to fix it), and I can never do anything physical around them cause no sooner than I do, they are unhappy with the way I smell.
I am a very hands-on type and have never had workmen in the house. I do that. Whether its drywall, plumbing, fixing the appliances ( any of them, including refrigeration ), or gardening. But I do get dirty doing it, and I have yet to meet some gal that would go along with me. The first thing they wanna do is hire someone else so we can be "entertained". It's not entertainment if there's not a cash register in sight. I consider building something as entertainment, but show me some gal who gets excited about getting some scrap metal, doing a bit of work with the grinder and welder, and a little paint and carpet, then end up with a stereo rack that not only looks nice, but is so sturdy it would probably hold up the house if the earthquake tried to knock it over. Nah, they want to spend that time in a crowded dance floor, full of noise so fcsking loud you have to yell to get any probability at all to communicate, and unlike using an equally noisy grinder, earmuffs are considered inappropriate attire for such a noisy environment. Although she may consider this fun, I highly do not. My ears rang for several days the last time I did that. Yes, I have sensitive ears... if I go see a movie, I have to make earplugs out of wet tissue paper and insert it in both ears before the movie.
And there's those damned phones. No matter where I go, she's always got that damned thing in her purse and its going off all the time. Why even bother to go out. Its like trying to conduct business when you can't get the other one off the damned phone. I know, I am just old, and never got used to the idea I had to play second fiddle to anyone who calls on the phone.. but that is the paradigm.. if you do not believe me, when you are conducting business with anyone and the phone rings, guess who gets serviced - the person who took his time to appear personally before you, or the one who called? ( Be Quiet! Can't you see I'm on the Phone? ).
So take your "bad luck" with a grain of salt.
If I had succeeded in snaring one of those gals, I probably would not have a house to work in, nor money to buy any grinding wheels. She would probably be enjoying her new car and accessories while total sum of what little assets I really have go to pay alimony and lawyer bills.
So, don't grind yourself too hard. It's not worth it.
"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]
Of curse for it to work your have to be completely honest or else your get match with the wrong persons. (garbage in -> garbage out)
And there is all kind of tests your can add to your profile including a IQ test, this helps you pick out the smart girls.
The only complain I have is that the search for persons could be better and that I miss a forum, were I can discuss ideas and that the code for the site ain't open source, so that I can help make it better.
Geeks are often very uncomfortable in situations where they don't have any idea what the outcome will be (me included), they are often used to a situation where there is an Option labled "Save" or "Save as..." so that risky situations are not quite as risky any more, as there is a fallback to a position where there is no record of the mistake other than in the mind of the geek themself. Geeks are generally looking much more for a relationship, and not just a quick shag on the backseat of a car. This (as far as I can work out) is also more preferable to women. Unfortunately many women are scared of the whole geek stereotype of very poor interpersonal skills, which is quite frequently not the case. True, most geeks are not very good at communicating face to face with other people, particularly people they do not know very well, but most are excellent at communicating though other means. I have now been going out with my girlfriend just over a week (doesn't sound like long, but it has only been 'official' for a week, we have been really close for a couple of months. She knew I was a geek and I have a feeling that it had something to do with her orginally talking to me. I have since (orignally meeting her) discovered that she too is a geek and that we have a LOT in common. Just because you are a geek it does not necessarily mean you will find it harder to find a partner. Just remember that In order to get anywhere there has to be a certain amount of risk, and you should probably take it if you think you have a chance! What's the worst that can happen?
.sigs are for losers
you do not talk about Fast Seduction.
"Life is unfair. Kill yourself or get over it."
i'm going to stick with masturbation and social isolation.
kthxbye.
I appreciate the reply, anubi. And while it seems like you're content, for me, spending another 20 or 30 years alone would be a miserable experience (I'm still in my early 20s).
:)
What you say about weight having nothing to do with striking out is true. I haven't been overweight since junior high, and the three mile runs have gotten me into somewhat decent shape.
No, the thing most women--at least women in my age bracket--are most repulsed by is a guy who respects them and treat them well. I'm a gentleman, it's how I was raised. I've known guys, not any better-looking or charming than me, who get scores of women simply by treating them like shit. The successful guys who don't resort to that just have this inner confidence thing with women that I don't believe I will ever have.
I realize I'm probably coming off as my own apologist, being rather self-indulgent, so once again I appreciate the reply.
Hope someday you find a woman w/o a cellphone who hates clubbing and likes to get her hands dirty
I post as AC too, as you may come back to re-read your post for replies. I really do not want to air some of my hurts in public, so by dropping to zero on an old post, you are likely to be the only one to read it. I do not want the search engines linking what I have here back to me. This is just a reply from one guy to another. I'll just try to be as brutally honest as I can so you will have another experience to compare yours to. I can tell by your posting you are in a great deal of hurt, and I think we owe it to each other as fellow members of the human race to support each other. I have had others support me.
I understand the loneliness. I went through it too. I substituted my search and study of science, which has become religion to me, as I consider the same God which made me made the universe too, and only by the study of the concrete evidence God left me am I ever going to get to the truth. Don't put me off as a religious nut though, I have not been to church in decades. I don't take something on a say-so. I need proof. God gives me proof if I just study what he made. If God made me in his image ( by whatever method he used - evolution maybe? - to do it), then I am likely to be miffed off at the same things that miff God off. And you know, I do hate it when my cats get to fighting in my yard at night. It gives me great hurt to wake up, go out and find my cats all tore up. Hence my feelings on religions that attack each other.
Hormones can drive you up the wall. I will probably get canned for saying so, but I do wonder if one can't "synthesize" their ideal imaginary mate much as I have seen most every "religious nut" I have run across synthesize God. I know I have a tendency when I get bored to load some image I find interesting into photoshop/powergoo and let my imagination ( and something else ) run wild over it. Yeh, its a poor excuse for companionship, but then you have friends for that. Technology could only give me images to have sexual releases over - images far more effective than anything published in the popular porn mags. I could create my dream gal from what I found. ( I really like gals like me, skinny,wiry,ball-y little muscles, vascular, tiny titties..not the type you find in mainstream porn.)
When I was going through the worst of mine after graduation from college and going into employment for the first time, I was damned lonely. At that time, Bulletin Board Systems were popular. I stumbled onto a Gay and Lesbian one. Although I had little interest in sexual activity, I have to admit the group had a lot of fun together, and just because you weren't "fuck buddies" with them did not mean you could not be friends, people to be with and share things with. Most of them were having problems as was I with acceptance in mainstream society. Most were keenly aware of acceptance issues. Much more than most. I just kept an open mind, accepted them for whatever rocked their boat. They accepted me for whatever rocked mine. There was one woman in the group I really found physically attractive, but it was obvious to me I could be her friend, but it was clear that she had a lot of friends - of both sexes. Kinda obvious that traditional "family" structure would not work here. Although she was beautiful to me, sex was a fantasy - to be enjoyed only in my imagination. It was not she was stuck up, it was I, as I feared for all the things she may be carrying because of her openness. It did not keep us from being friends though and exchanging lots of interesting conversation.
If I had found any cases where one's enjoyment came at another's expense, I would have been quite upset at them, but I did not see any of that there. I know its a sensitive subject, I can not proselyte - as different people have different viewpoints - and I can not tell anyone how to run their life, given the problems I have seen trying to run my own. Life is not easy.. but do look around and see where things are not always what they appear to be. I think you are where you are because you are intelligent enough to see the futility of treating people badly. There is a cruel trick in our psychology to make us want what we can not have.. the forbidden fruit thing. And it makes people go after people who treat them poorly - but you are obviously intelligent enough to see through it - that it does not last. Statistics seems cruel - but there seems to be some statistical chance that you do meet another like you that sees through this mess too. I think I fell outside the curve - as if I even knew where the curve was. But far worse things could happen.
But being tied up with silk scarves and thoroughly ravished can be fun. >^..^
You rock, man. Thx for posting that, seriously.
I know I can't be the only slashdotter who's sick of all this "geek dating" advice floating around lately... can I?
Jeez, just because it's "the day the candy flows", guys...
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!
Another good book for technique is Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything. I've learned a lot from that book. Its also pretty easy to find. So just drive to your local mom and pop bookstore and have them order it if they don't stock it.
As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs;
a process that traditionally requires some debugging.
-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service
conversion to a new computer system.
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