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Principal Photography on Star Wars III Complete

An anonymous reader writes "Principal photography for Star Wars III ended yesterday, and they're starting up on the 18 month post-production. Although denied by ILM, here is a quick taste of what the story for episode III might be like (either taken from Lucas' journal in 1983, or just a fake from an insider way back then)."

391 comments

  1. BAH! by bluethundr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    here is a quick taste of what the story for episode III might be like (either taken from Lucas' journal in 1983, or just a fake from an insider way back then)."

    Hmmm...Where have I known that taste before? Ah yes! The well familiar taste of bullshit! And when this guy was done writing "Ep III" he might well have tried his hand at another brand of fan fiction.

    Lucas' stroytelling prowess seems to have diminished with the ensuing decades after Jedi, but have they diminished this much? I sincerely doubt it. Even taking Ep I into consideration.

    Face it folks. We're waiting until the release date.

    AS much as my enjoyment of the franchise has diminished with age (damn you adulthood!!!) I am intrigued to see how the movie franchise will end.

    Until Lucas changes his mind and decides once more to make the last trilogy

    --
    Quod scripsi, scripsi.
    1. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Lucas' writing has allways sucked. See, back when the first three came out he happend to be married to the best script doctor in hollywood, and she "helped " him out a little bit.

      My $0.02

    2. Re:BAH! by liquidsin · · Score: 4, Insightful

      We already know how the movie franchise ends. Vader dies, balance is restored. See this link for more about it.

      --
      do not read this line twice.
    3. Re:BAH! by Edgewize · · Score: 2, Informative

      First of all, a 26 page "script" does not translate to a full movie's worth of run time. It doesn't even translate to a 30 minute HBO special. I've see longer first-draft plot treatments. And yet this thing includes camera directions and postproduction notes, like specific dissolves and cuts.

      That this "script" has got to be some fanboy's interpolation between Ep II and Ep IV, cobbled together out of famous epics and the author's (somewhat lacking) imagination.

      Even Lucas is not egotistical enough to redo the "kill-all-newborn-sons-out-of-fear-of-the-prophesi sed-one" thing... is he?

    4. re: BAH! by ed.han · · Score: 3, Interesting

      to which i can only respond:

      "there was no father"--shmi skywalker, TPM.

      ed

    5. Re:BAH! by JChung2004 · · Score: 1

      Wasn't there supposed to be a Star Wars VII, VIII, and IX that was to take place after Return of the Jedi (aka Star Wars VI), or is that what the New Jedi Order books are all about?

    6. Re:BAH! by starcraftsicko · · Score: 1, Troll

      Until Lucas changes his mind and decides once more to make the last trilogy

      Let's hope not! Given the state of Political Correctness in America, Han Solo would have to be a woman, and Princess Leia would have to he his lesbian lover.

      And if you think this is funny or that I'm trolling, read this first.

    7. Re:BAH! by squiggleslash · · Score: 5, Funny
      Yes. In fact, these were actually turned into films in the late eighties but were so truly awful that they were ignored by cinemagoers and even hardcore Star Wars fans disowned them:

      Star Wars VII "The Royal Wedding" consisted basically of Han Solo marrying Leia. Critics particularly hated the half hour speech by Lanso (best man) which, by all accounts, went on for way too long and was just embarassing for the audience, as well has Han.

      Star Wars VIII "The Solos have Kids" covered about 15 years of the birth, schooling, and subsequent leaving of three brats. Luke makes an appearance as the generous Godfather who teaches these kids in the ways of the force.

      Star Wars IX "Return to Disneyworld" covers a trip by Solo and Leia to Florida, years after their kids have left them and the two are in middle-age. The two divorce, but agree to disagree and the whole thing's very amicable.

      --
      You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
    8. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      AS much as my enjoyment of the franchise has diminished with age (damn you adulthood!!!) I am intrigued to see how the movie franchise will end.

      Face it, nobody cares when this movie comes out because TPM and AoTC were such garbage.

    9. Re: BAH! by Edgewize · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but I figured that the blatant comparisons to Jesus Christ would be enough ego-tripping for Lucas.

      Then again, that only offended a handful of Christians. Maybe he's thinking bigger now, so he's throwing Moses into the mix to get the Jews and Muslims pissed too.

    10. Re:BAH! by jtroutman · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Seriously, if you think this is bad you should track down an early draft of Episode IV...Luke had brothers, all of whom had gone off to fight the Empire. The Sith were mentioned. Meticlorians (sp?) were brought up. I first found a copy of the 2nd draft online about 1995. All the things that I thought were complete dreck, that I was so glad were cut from Ep. IV, ended up making it into I and II...

      --
      I stole this sig from a more creative user.
    11. Re:BAH! by Joe+U · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yes, but the hour long insight into Wedge Antilles' life made Episode IX an instant cult classic.

    12. Re:BAH! by Tackhead · · Score: 1
      > Lucas' stroytelling prowess seems to have diminished with the ensuing decades after Jedi, but have they diminished this much? I sincerely doubt it. Even taking Ep I into consideration.

      That's what I thought. Then I saw Star Wars Galaxies!

    13. re: BAH! by ed.han · · Score: 1

      well, he missed his abraham moment in empire, didn't he? ah, well...

      ed

    14. Re:BAH! by DCheesi · · Score: 4, Funny

      Actually I thought Vader was the one who restores the balance himself. Episode I: 1000s of Jedi, 2 Sith. Episode IV: 2-1/2 Jedi, 2 Sith. Hmm, which one sounds more balanced? :)

    15. Re:BAH! by Edgewize · · Score: 1

      Let's hope not! Given the state of Political Correctness in America, Han Solo would have to be a woman, and Princess Leia would have to he his lesbian lover. And if you think this is funny or that I'm trolling, read this first.

      Actually, I might see that for the laugh value. It's probably the only way left to get me to watch another Star Wars movie.

    16. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I'm guessing the divorce was before "Howard The Duck"

    17. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You forgot about the ewoks. Lots of ewoks.

    18. Re:BAH! by bluethundr · · Score: 4, Funny

      We already know how the movie franchise ends. Vader dies, balance is restored. See this link for more about it.

      Weisenheimer! If you read a little more carefully you'll see that I said: I am intrigued to see how the movie franchise will end.

      Note, what I did NOT say is that Ep III is how the story will end. But, again, unless Lucas changes his mind* THIS is how the movie franchise will end. You wanna pick nits? Let's pick some nits! Yeeeeeaah! C'MOWN!!! How ya like me now??? ;P

      *Of note is that therobot 4-LOM stood for "For love of Money". And where money is the motivating factor, I don't think we can entirely rule out the last trilogy ever being made.

      --
      Quod scripsi, scripsi.
    19. Re:BAH! by AttillaTheNun · · Score: 3, Funny
      >>Until Lucas changes his mind and decides once more to make the last trilogy

      The prequel trilogy concentrated on the backstory of Anakin Skywalker.

      The original trilogy concentrated on Luke and his relationship with his father

      The sequel trilogy will concentrate on the last piece of the puzzle - Jar Jar. George will get his ultimate revenge on the fanboys and will create an entire sequel trilogy focusing on our favourite bumbling hero.

    20. Re: BAH! by Rude+Turnip · · Score: 2, Interesting

      From what I learned on the History Channel (or A&E?), there are many legends of great middle-eastern heroes who supposedly had no father and were born of virgins. Early Christians just borrowed the concept and applied it to Jesus.

    21. Re:BAH! by nnnneedles · · Score: 3, Funny

      Episode 6: 1 jedi, 3 ghosts.

      I've never understood the balance crap

      --
      Will code a sig generator for food
    22. Re:BAH! by Rorschach1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yes, we mustn't forget Eric, the 1/2 a Jedi.

    23. Re: BAH! by sacherjj · · Score: 1

      Or vice versa.

    24. Re: BAH! by FoxIVX · · Score: 1

      Except the vast majority of middle-eastern history pre-dates the emergence christianity by a long shot. In relative terms of human history, christianity is the new messiah on the block.

    25. Re:BAH! by fpp · · Score: 1

      And just who might this "script doctor" be? Marcia Lucas? She was an editor, not a script doctor.

    26. Re:BAH! by cens0r · · Score: 1

      Vader does bring balance... just not like you think. Balance is harmony, not numbers in this case. So balance is achieved when their are no sith remaining. Vader kills Palpatine, and in doing so himself, wiping out the sith and bringing balance.

      --
      Jack Valenti and Orrin Hatch will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
    27. Re:BAH! by Wog · · Score: 1

      I have that song stuck in my head, and will likely have it all weekend!

      Darn you!

      Darn you to heck!

    28. Re:BAH! by cens0r · · Score: 1

      Actually Lucas' original story did call for 7,8, and 9. However, not the way you are thinking. In his original story Luke fails. It's then up to his sister to continue on. In the this story Leia is not the sister, she's been hidden on a different planet in preparation.

      --
      Jack Valenti and Orrin Hatch will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
    29. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Looks like the Lucas lawyers shut down the site. So much for free speech.... That link no longer works.

    30. Re:BAH! by sketerpot · · Score: 2, Informative

      For those who have no clue what you're talking about, here are lyrics. Enjoy. :-)

    31. Re: BAH! by Jace+of+Fuse! · · Score: 4, Funny

      christianity is the new messiah on the block.

      Not the block, the stick. Jesus is the new Messiah on a Stick.

      --

      "Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"

      Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
    32. Re:BAH! by julesh · · Score: 1

      Or maybe its just been slashdotted? Geocities pages never last long...

    33. Re:BAH! by drivers · · Score: 1

      Episode 6: 1 jedi, 3 ghosts.

      "No, there is another."

    34. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually this script is part of a larger script that included (rough) walk thru's of Episode I and II, and has been circuluated usenet since atleast 1994.

    35. Re:BAH! by Mikeytsi · · Score: 1

      No, he brings balance by wiping out all of the jedi.

      True balance is an equal ratio of good/evil.

      --
      I've been called a "Fucking Dick" by better people than you.
    36. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Is it a matter of numbers or strength that is set in the ratio to Ordained Balance?

      True balance is immpossible, but the theory I think most likely is that of strength.

      There were likely still more people that could use the force in the galaxy, some good and some evil. Perhaps the balance was reached later on in the series and that the Return was simply the beginning of the Balancing.

      I think that the Balance would be reached at the end of Episode IX, after the new Jedi Academy and a new Sith Order have been reformed.

      Braincookie for the day.

    37. Re:BAH! by cens0r · · Score: 1

      So you're saying if I want to eat a balanced diet I should eat just as many twinkies as I do pieces of broccoli? There is more than one definition of balance. You seem to be stuck on this one:

      balance n. A state of equilibrium or parity characterized by cancellation of all forces by equal opposing forces.

      Try using these defintions instead:

      balance n. A harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts or elements, as in a design.

      balance n. A stable mental or psychological state; emotional stability.

      Besides, Lucas himself on the directors commentaries of both AOTC and TPM has said balance means no Sith, and balance is achieved when vader kills the emperor and then dies.

      --
      Jack Valenti and Orrin Hatch will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
    38. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's why Fox News takes so much heat for their slogan. They use the second and third definitions here instead of the first definition which is used by the New York Times.

    39. Re: BAH! by MsGeek · · Score: 1
      --
      Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power multiplied.
    40. Re:BAH! by Jugalator · · Score: 4, Funny

      Regarding the "quick taste" linked to in this article:

      "Fall of the Republic mini-FAQ" version 1.0, January 1995.
      by David Hines, dzhines@midway.uchicago.edu

      Questions answered in this FAQ:

      1. "Hey, everybody! I've got this thing called "Fall of the Republic -"
      2. "Why are you guys screaming like that?"
      3. "What's a FAQ, and why does FotR need one?"
      4. "Okay, so what's the deal with FotR?"
      5. "What do you mean, it's not real?"
      6. "Yeah, what's this about the third episode? Wasn't that Return of the Jedi?"
      7. "Okay. FotR is a fake, but where did it come from?"
      8. "Where is FotR available on the Internet?"
      9. "Okay, I've got FotR. How do I convert it into something I can read?"
      10. "I don't have ftp access. What do I do?"

      1. "Hey, everybody! I've got this thing called "Fall of the Republic -"

      AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

      2. "Why are you guys screaming like that?"

      Well, you see, some topics get rehashed quite a bit on this newsgroup. That's understandable, since more people come on to usenet every day. Even if, as is recommended, you lurk in a new newsgroup [lurk: read without posting] for a whole week before you make your first post, you'll miss some of the discussion that's gone before.
      Some topics get endlessly rehashed. Topics like bloopers and Mark Hamill's car accident have been brought up over and over, until most people are heartily sick of them.
      "Fall of the Republic" [hereafter FotR] is one of those topics. People keep bringing it up when they join the newsgroup. Recently, there has been a huge surge of folks pointing out the existence of FotR. As a result, this mini-FAQ was composed.

      3. "What's a FAQ, and why does FotR need one?"

      FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions. A FAQ lists the questions and their answers. FotR needs a FAQ because so many people have questions about it.

      4. "Okay, so what's the deal with FotR?"

      It's not real.

      5. "What do you mean, it's not real?"

      Well, it is real, if by "real" you mean that it really exists, and has been written by somebody.
      However, FotR is not "real" in the sense that it is not a real story treatment for the third episode of the Star Wars saga.

      6. "Yeah, what's this about the third episode? Wasn't that Return of the Jedi?"

      No, that was the sixth episode. RotJ was, however, the third film to be released. Basically, the Trilogy we know is composed of episodes four through six. Lucas is now working on the scripts for episodes one through three. The films are due out in 1998; for more information, see the New Movies FAQ, kept by Aditya Sood.

      7. "Okay. FotR is a fake, but where did it come from?"

      Good question. "John L. Flynn" is listed as the author, but no one really knows who wrote it, except perhaps the author himself.
      Before it was made available on the Internet, most people picked it up at conventions. Dealers sold it at their tables; as far as we know, the story treatment (it's too brief to be a script) made its debut around 1983 or so. It may have been around earlier.
      The earliest possible date for it is 1979, which is when "Star Wars" was rereleased with the subtitle "Episode IV: A New Hope." Before then, "Star Wars" was just "Star Wars;" no one could have known about Episode III being a prequel. Most reports, however (I'm using hearsay, admittedly, from reports of people on the group who remember FotR from *way* back) place it at about 1983.

      8. "Where is FotR available on the Internet?"

      It's at wpi.wpi.edu, in the directory starwars/stories. Log in with "anonymous" as your username and your email address as your password.

      9. "Okay, I've got FotR. How do I convert it into something I can read?"

      To quote the wpi server itself:

      250- All ascii text files are compressed (.Z suffix) to save on room. On
      250- Unix systems just type - uncompress file.Z - to uncompress it.
      250- MAC user can use the program maccompress-32.hqx - It

      --
      Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
    41. Re:BAH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Am I the only one who reads FotR as "Fellowship of the Ring"?

      Surely, this is Slashdot?

    42. Re:BAH! by Zork+the+Almighty · · Score: 1

      That doesn't justify "fair".

      --

      In Soviet America the banks rob you!
    43. Re:BAH! by The+OPTiCIAN · · Score: 1

      What about Jedi Beach Party? I'm sure I read on slashdot episode 8 was subtitled "Jedi Beach Party".

      --


      Believe with me, my saplings.
    44. Re:BAH! by xoboots · · Score: 1

      I think this is one of the more interesting comments. It makes me wonder about the whole business of serials. Instead of exploring a subject matter by thinking possibilities through, it sounds like we are just getting the last ideas from the chopping floor of Lucas' youth. The sad part is not that we are getting the failed bits of ideas from the original concept but instead that there are no new ideas at all. If we were willing able to believe and fall for the Star Wars universe in 1977, why does the reason for that universe need to be explained to us in 2000?

      I take it all back, because I'll be first in line for epIII :) and I'll always respect Lucas and not just for Star Wars.

    45. Re:BAH! by nyseal · · Score: 1

      If you recall, Vader is the one who actually kills the Emperor....hence bringing balance.

      --
      [SIG] Remember Mattel handheld games?
    46. Re:BAH! by Wolfrider · · Score: 1

      --You mean this?
      http://wolfrdr.tripod.com/tmp/jedisurfers.j pg

      --
      .
      == WolfriderV6 == I'm willing to admit that *I just might* be wrong... Are you??
    47. Re:BAH! by sg_oneill · · Score: 1

      Well yeah. There is Leiah.

      But perhaps between episodes she did her own brother which might of made her too unbalanced to be a true jedi.

      1 Jedi, 1 dang confused princess, 3 ghosts and a wookie.

      --
      Excuse the Unicode crap in my posts. That's an apostrophe, and slashdot is busted.
  2. WOW by snatcheroo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow that went down fast!!! Hopefully the story has more strength!

  3. stolen script by grub · · Score: 5, Funny

    Scanned script direct from George Lucas' desk:
    STAR WARS III

    (Young Skywalker stares at the horizon, he has a look
    of discontent on his face.)

    [coffee stains mar several paragraphs]

    Skywalker: I sense the dark side..

    Kenobi: Yes, you must resist it, young one.

    [smeared pizza grease soaks and obscures many pages]

    (Skywalker stands over JarJar's body)
    Skywalker: A-ha! Who's the master, *now*!

    Kenobi: The dark side has taken hold, fight it!

    R2D2: >click!< >beep!< >brappp!<

    Kenobi: No, my droid friend, it is too late. He has been
    consumed.

    R2D2: >booooooooop<

    [Dried Pepsi ruined the ink for many more pages here]

    Kenobi: We will meet again, dark one!

    Skywalker: And then I shall show you that the dark side
    is stronger! Go! Go! Live in your cave on a desolate
    rock! HA ha ha! The dark side makes you live in fear!

    Yoda: Evil you are, good you will not.

    [Cheeseburger grease ruin most of the rest]

    (The village of small furry bipeds rejoices, fireworks
    fill the sky. An image of JarJar appears among the light
    show. The furry bipeds wave. Roll Credits.]
    There, I've save you $8.00.
    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:stolen script by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Full copy of transcript can be found here

    2. Re:stolen script by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That can't be the script cause that was actually entertaining

    3. Re:stolen script by NanoGator · · Score: 1

      "There, I've save you $8.00."

      Make that $16. My girlfriend made me watch Maid in Manhatten. Episode III is her punishment.

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    4. Re:stolen script by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I remember reading a "Fall of the Republic"/"Journey of the Willis(sp)" script about 10 years ago. This isn't it. It did have the Anakin/Obiwan fight, but it opened with a pregnant Amidala fleeing Courasant. I have been looking for it recently, but I have not found it.

      Can's spell worth sh*t either.

  4. The Big Question... by The_Rippa · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Will we be seeing the Star Wars Kid?

    1. Re:The Big Question... by the_haxorest · · Score: 1

      As long as the star wars kid is in the film, I'll be satisfied.

    2. Re:The Big Question... by Tumbleweed · · Score: 1, Funny

      Do you mean Luke or Leia? I'm sure we'll see both babies. :)

    3. Re:The Big Question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... and the Star Wars Kid as their retarded brother ... .. who later (from Ep. 7) will join the grey side

    4. Re:The Big Question... by Tumbleweed · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'd say the biggest difference between "the Star Wars Kid" and the rest of us here on Slashdot is that we never videotapes ourselves doing stupid stuff and let it get out to the world at large when we were that age (or older). I' inclined to give the kid a damned break.

    5. Re:The Big Question... by tetra103 · · Score: 1

      Yeah, no kidding. SWK has become a cyber pop star. I'd love to see some of his fancy moves make it into the III episode.

      Some slashdotter's feel they have some kind of dork bond with him. Other slashdotters may just be jealous of his fame. I just think the circumstances of his fame is a riot. Yeah he may have looked funny and might have been embarrassed from his exposer. That's not what I find funny though. What I find harlarious about SWK's rise to fame is how he was catapulted to instant fame overnight by net nobodies like ourselves. The kids looking to embarass him really turned him into a cyber superstar.

    6. Re:The Big Question... by NotAnotherReboot · · Score: 1

      Must we bring his weight into this discussion?

    7. Re:The Big Question... by 3terrabyte · · Score: 1

      Maybe he could be a young Jabba the Hut.

      --

      Why are there only 19 people folding@home for slashdot?

    8. Re:The Big Question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      "Must we bring his weight into this discussion?"
      • Dude, the kid's got his own gravitational field... Put the fork down...

    9. Re:The Big Question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Moderation +3
      70% Interesting
      30% Funny


      70% of the moderators are on crack... This was "funny."

    10. Re:The Big Question... by paranode · · Score: 1

      At the beginning I would have said, "Yes, that'd be cool." But now, I think all we'd get to see is him crying and suing people. Screw that kid.

    11. Re:The Big Question... by Paul+Burney · · Score: 1

      For those who don't know who the Start Wars Kid is, check Everything2:

      http://everything2.net/index.pl?lastnode_id=124&no de_id=1479019

      --
      <?php while ($self != "asleep") { $sheep_count++; } ?>
    12. Re:The Big Question... by fenix+down · · Score: 2, Funny

      Shit, not even. I've been taped doing god knows how many ridiculous things over the years, I just don't know anybody with the equipment to rip if off the tape and post it anywhere. This is why it's good to have poor friends.

    13. Re:The Big Question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hopefully not.

  5. The IMPORTANT question is... by r_glen · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did the Star Wars kid make it in?

    1. Re:The IMPORTANT question is... by cybermace5 · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's what they meant by "Principal Photography on Star Wars II Complete."

      --
      ...
  6. There went the quick taste. by jensend · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "The web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated data transfer. Visit our help area for more information." Slashdot should be more responsible than to post links to personal sites with low bandwidth quotas.

    1. Re:There went the quick taste. by pstreck · · Score: 1, Insightful

      why doesn't slashdot just mirror these files on their own site?

      --

      Later,
      Phil
    2. Re:There went the quick taste. by limbostar · · Score: 3, Funny

      Because, uh, the advertising revenue, mumble mumble, complexity of asking permission, cough, uh, hey look, shiny!

      --
      this is a sig.
    3. Re:There went the quick taste. by realdpk · · Score: 1

      Because rather than own up to responsibility, they prefer to get /. users to subscribe so that they can get in pre-/. effect.

      Of course, they could at least link to Google caches of the sites after they give the subscribers their taste..

    4. Re:There went the quick taste. by hex706f726368 · · Score: 1

      Use google's cache: Google Cache

  7. YAY! by xalres · · Score: 0, Insightful

    Only 3 years of post production to go!

    Gotta throw in a bunch of loud noises and shiny things to make up for the lack of story this one is sure to suffer from. Of course I'm going basing this on what an abortion of film the first 2 were

    --
    If whales learn how to use weapons we're all screwed!
    1. Re:YAY! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      On what planet do you live that you have 6 month years? Here on Earth 18 months is 1 1/2 years.

      I can accept bad spelling from slashdotters but bad math is just scary.

    2. Re:YAY! by xalres · · Score: 1

      Joking good sir, joking. Purely sarcasm. I was pointing out Lucas' affection for covering up bad plot and no story with over the top CGI shots and therefore ends up spending too much time on post production.

      Besides, the story went down so fast I couldn't read one word of it.

      --
      If whales learn how to use weapons we're all screwed!
    3. Re:YAY! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It was actually in the slashdot article up top. I am totally with you on the rest of it, though. I remember when Ep II was on HBO. I tried really hard to watch it thinking that maybe it was better then I remembered in the theatre. It wasn't. I lasted about to the point where they track the female bounty hunter to that bar and then - click - Yankees Game.

    4. Re:YAY! by sharkey · · Score: 4, Funny
      Besides, the story went down so fast...

      Are you saying the plot blows?

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    5. Re:YAY! by k98sven · · Score: 1

      On what planet do you live that you have 6 month years? Here on Earth 18 months is 1 1/2 years.

      Well.. If there's a bright centre to the universe, it's the planet farthest from.

      I've gotta go and fix some moisture evaporators now. And find that missing droid.

    6. Re:YAY! by damiena · · Score: 1

      On what planet do you live that you have 6 month years? Here on Earth 18 months is 1 1/2 years

      He was speaking in terms of metric years.

    7. Re:YAY! by xalres · · Score: 0

      "What's the matter with you people? I was joking! Don't you know a joke when you hear one?" -- Gene Wilder, Young Frankenstein

      Once again, slashdot readers have looked past the meat n' potatoes of an argument and commented on the little piece of rotten parsley sitting off to the side.

      --
      If whales learn how to use weapons we're all screwed!
    8. Re:YAY! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So, would that be ~2.5 metric years=1 English year?

  8. I'm betting... by phraktyl · · Score: 3, Funny

    Natalie Portman gets herself into a gritsy---er, I mean gritty situation.

    --
    Karma: Marginal (mostly due to the border around the website)
    1. Re:I'm betting... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      oh no not again...

    2. Re:I'm betting... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Many people have speculated that if we knew why the anonymous coward had posted that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.

      RIP D.A.

  9. Linking to GeoCities? by the_riaa · · Score: 5, Informative
    Okay, you can't even pretend like that's a good idea.

    Damn thing's slashdotted before a comment's posted. Fortunately, Google's cache is on the case.

    1. Re:Linking to GeoCities? by FortKnox · · Score: 4, Funny

      Y'arr! It be a great thing to pirate from others, but it be greater to pillage the location that it be!

      Y'arr!

      --
      Good quote, too many chars. Seriously, the slashdot 120 char limit sucks!
    2. Re:Linking to GeoCities? by imadork · · Score: 1

      It's September 19th! Somebody mod this scurvy lad up! Y'arr!

    3. Re:Linking to GeoCities? by dan+dan+the+dna+man · · Score: 1

      Yarrrr, it be good to see some deckswabbers be keepin' it real for ITLAPD :P

      --
      I don't read your sig, why do you read mine?
    4. Re:Linking to GeoCities? by Jugalator · · Score: 2, Funny

      Whoa! Thanks for reminding me, matey! Yaarrr! :-D

      --
      Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
  10. Slashdotted by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    We exceeded the bandwidth before 2 posts were posted? Is this a new record?

    1. Re:Slashdotted by ZorinLynx · · Score: 1

      I'm actually surprised; this is YAHOO we're talking about. You'd think they have the muscle to handle it and not give users such piss-poort bandwidth quotas. }:)

  11. Overheard... by teamhasnoi · · Score: 0

    The principal was heard to say, "If you collect enough Campbell's Soup can labels next year, you can take the vice-pricipal's photo, Mr. Lucas. Just don't photoshop me in with Jar-Jar."

  12. Is it just me .... by airrage · · Score: 1

    or are his eyes not on straight?

    --
    "This isn't a study in computer science, its a study in human behavior"
  13. Good old google! by starcraftsicko · · Score: 4, Informative
  14. Don't you people learn? by Edgewize · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Last time I checked, Geocities still sucked, and Slashdot still had a million visitors. So please stop submitting stories with Geocities links because they WILL NOT WORK. Ever.

  15. EpIII Link by RebelWebmaster · · Score: 0, Redundant

    Posting a Geocities link on Slashdot. Real Smart.

  16. Mirror by WndrBr3d · · Score: 4, Informative

    Here's a mirror of the dead link:

    mirror

  17. For those who care... by r_glen · · Score: 5, Informative

    There's a great picture of Anakin/Vader still floating around (hi-res one was taken down).

    1. Re:For those who care... by jalefkowit · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ooh! Looks like this is the one from the scene where Vader auditions to be the lead singer of Journey...

    2. Re:For those who care... by vacaboca · · Score: 1

      Anakin/Vader? looks more like Uma Thurman to me! Watch the trailer for Kill Bill vol. 1 and tell me I'm wrong...

    3. Re:For those who care... by Sabalon · · Score: 1

      What horrid casting - they guy looks nothing like Vader.

    4. Re:For those who care... by I+Like+Swords!!! · · Score: 1

      Yeah, he seems to be missing that black metallic quality... but that just me.

      --
      .unsigged
    5. Re:For those who care... by The+Lynxpro · · Score: 1

      What horrid casting - they guy looks nothing like Vader.

      Sabalon, go to www.theforce.net

      They ran a side-by-side picture comparison of Anakin with ROTJ era Luke Skywalker. There is quite a resemblance between Hayden (Anakin) and Mark Hamill (Luke)...

      Apparently, they took it down (probably legally requested by LucasFilm to do so)...

      It was here:

      http://cgi.theforce.net/theforce/image.cgi?Image =e pisode3/newspics/luke_anakin_comparison.jpg

      You can probably find it on the net somewhere...

      --
      "Right now, somewhere in this world, Scott Baio is plowing a woman he doesn't love," - Peter Griffin, *Family Guy*
    6. Re:For those who care... by nutsy · · Score: 1

      From a cool guy in black armour to a whiny blonde-haired brat to a pouty-faced wavy-haired bishounen. Hey Lucas, why don't you just stomp all over your fans' hopes and dreams while you're at it, eh?!

      (Yes, that was a very poor attempt at a joke.)

    7. Re:For those who care... by Sabalon · · Score: 1

      mising the point - he may look like luke or anakin, but nothing like vader.

  18. Episode III script... by Deathlizard · · Score: 5, Funny

    The web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated data transfer. Visit our help area for more information. Access to this site will be restored within an hour. Please try again Later. Need extra data transfer? Sign up for GeoCities Pro or Webmaster. Learn more.

    Some Of Lucas's best work yet :)

    1. Re:Episode III script... by gnovos · · Score: 1

      Yeah, no jar jar!

      --
      "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
    2. Re:Episode III script... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is not the website you are looking for.

  19. Oh well by Rary · · Score: 1
    I got here when there were only 2 comments posted, but already the poor link was slashdotted. Nicely done.

    Not that I expected the link to be legitimate anyway. Although, I did read a plot synopsis of Episode II a few months before it came out that turned out to be 100% accurate. Nevertheless, it's way too early for "leaked" summaries on this one.

    --

    "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein

    1. Re:Oh well by Politburo · · Score: 1

      If principal photography is finished, then it is not too early for any leaked information. Unless there are significant issues, the story of the film is not going to change much. There is also little chance of this because Lucas has full creative control and doesn't have to answer to any studios.

    2. Re:Oh well by cens0r · · Score: 1

      In episode II a entire shooting script was leaked... certain people new everything more than a year in advance.

      --
      Jack Valenti and Orrin Hatch will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
  20. Hold on to your seat kids... by *weasel · · Score: 4, Funny

    ..this thread's gonna get bumpy.

    --
    // "Can't clowns and pirates just -try- to get along?"
  21. Google Cache by xaraya · · Score: 1, Redundant
    1. Re:Google Cache by Neophytus · · Score: 1

      it was gone before even subscribers could get to it

  22. Ahh, it all makes sense now. by iainl · · Score: 0, Redundant

    "The web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated data transfer."

    No, not just a message from Geocities, but an actual preview of what we'll be seeing on our screens come 2005. At least, if Lucas follows every other experiment with online film distribution, it will.

    --
    "I Know You Are But What Am I?"
  23. Here's one of them by PhukLunix · · Score: 5, Funny

    DARTH SIDIOUS I find it amazing that your overwhelming stupidity is only offset by your incredible ability with a lightsaber. You've come a long way from those days on Naboo when you were tripping over every single available object.

    DARTH JAR JAR Mesa not cuttin' off mesa arms, mesa not cuttin' off mesa legs! Mesa muy good with a lightsaber, Darth Sidious!

    DARTH SIDIOUS (massaging his temple) Christ, I need a Tylenol.

    DARTH JAR JAR Whatsa bein' wrong, Darth Sidious?

    DARTH SIDIOUS Jar Jar, please, don't talk again. Just listen to me.

    DARTH JAR JAR Okieday! Mesa listenin' to you now!

    DARTH SIDIOUS God, I need a drink, too. Look, Jar Jar. I'm going to take you to fight the Jedi. We're going to lure Anakin to the Dark Side, and...

    DARTH JAR JAR (interrupting) Nooooo! Little Annie?

    DARTH SIDIOUS Jar Jar, I'm serious. Shut your stupid mouth and listen to me, or I will make you suffer as you've never suffered before, all right?

    DARTH JAR JAR Okieday, mesa shuttin mesa mouth now!

    DARTH SIDIOUS Jesus. All right, here's the deal - we lure Anakin over to the Dark Side, which should be easy to do. I'm surprised he hasn't drifted over here yet of his own free will. He was a little pouty brat of a kid, and he was a surly, rude, angry teenager who pouted and got all pissy when he didn't get his own way. Now he's a little older and he's still acting like a petulant teenager. I will simply have him embrace his rage, and he will join us.

    DARTH JAR JAR But Darth Sidious, if Annie besa joinin' us, doesn't that mean hesa goin' to have to kill mesa?

    DARTH SIDIOUS (hurriedly) No, no, of course not, Jar Jar. We've...um...abandoned those usual rules. Yeah, that's right. Now there can be a master and two apprentices.

    DARTH JAR JAR Oooooohhhhhhh. Okieday! Mesa ready to besa killin' the Jedi!

    DARTH SIDIOUS (quietly) I can't wait until Anakin joins us.

    BOBA FETT steps out on to the balcony. SIDIOUS and JAR JAR turn to look at him.

    DARTH JAR JAR Hey there, little Boba! How's yousa doin' today?

    BOBA FETT Shut up, Jar Jar.

    DARTH SIDIOUS Now, Boba, is that any way to talk to a Sith Lord?

    BOBA FETT (his mouth hangs open in amazement for a moment, but then he composes himself) You've got to be kidding me. Tell me that's a joke.

    DARTH JAR JAR Nonono, it's not bein' a joke! Mesa a Sith Lord! Mesa havin' mesa own lightsaber!

    BOBA FETT This has got to be the stupidest damned thing you've ever done, Palpatine.

    DARTH SIDIOUS What did I tell you? When I'm in the robes, you're supposed to call me Darth Sidious.

    BOBA FETT Oh, blow me.

    DARTH SIDIOUS Boba, you will maintain a tone of respect with me, or I swear that I will...

    BOBA FETT (interrupting) You'll what? Oooooh, more threats. I'm really scared of you, "dad."

    DARTH SIDIOUS That's it! Go to your room!

    BOBA FETT No.

    DARTH SIDIOUS Go to your room, Boba, or I'll have Jar Jar here cut off your head.

    BOBA FETT If he doesn't cut his own head off first. Stupid, clumsy idiot.

    DARTH SIDIOUS That's enough, Boba! Go to your room!

    1. Re:Here's one of them by amanpatelhotmail.com · · Score: 1
      Good one!

      Almost looks like a scene from Austin Powers 4: Attack of the Mini' Me's

    2. Re:Here's one of them by MagikSlinger · · Score: 1

      I'm just glad I wasn't drinking my usual coffee this morning, or I'd be scrounging for a new keyboard. That was muy funny.

      --
      The bitter lessons of a veteran coder: http://bitterprogrammer.blogspot.com
    3. Re:Here's one of them by gamgee5273 · · Score: 1

      HEY! How did you find the transcript from one of my Jedi Outcast games?!? - Darth Binks

  24. principal photography is meaningless... by wrinkledshirt · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ...when most of the acting is going to be done by the CGI characters anyway.

    Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm trolling. But Episode 1 was so disheartening that I didn't even bother seeing Episode 2, and Episode 3 has elicited zero excitement from me. So, whoopeedoo, we've got the stonefaced lines-reciting from Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman. Big deal.

    --

    --------
    Bleah! Heh heh heh... BLEAH BLEAH!!! Ha ha ha ha...

    1. Re:principal photography is meaningless... by Un+pobre+guey · · Score: 1
      ...Episode 1 was so disheartening that I didn't even bother seeing Episode 2, and Episode 3 has elicited zero excitement from me.

      My feelings exactly. How anybody can get excited over the bullshit Star Wars "philosophy," terrible scripts, poorly directed actors, boring storytelling, and average special effects is a mystery to me.

      If Ridley Scott, Spike Lee, or the Wachowski brothers were to do it, with no intervention from George Lucas, that would be another story.

    2. Re:principal photography is meaningless... by gamgee5273 · · Score: 1



      Right, becuase The Matrix is just full of original thought!

      </dripsarcasm>

    3. Re:principal photography is meaningless... by Un+pobre+guey · · Score: 1
      I agree with your point that The Matrix franchise is not chock full of original thought. I do like it as a metaphor for commercial popular culture and information media controlling most people's minds, whether or not that was an intended message.

      As a movie experience, though, I thought it beat the shit out of any of the last 10 years of Star Wars films.

    4. Re:principal photography is meaningless... by Anthony+Boyd · · Score: 1
      Episode 1 was so disheartening that I didn't even bother seeing Episode 2

      You lucky bastard. I had some hope that it would get better. So I naively went to see episode 2, and had my heart mercilessly crushed.

      Must. Resist. Dark side. Must. Fight. Urge. To see. Episode 3.

    5. Re:principal photography is meaningless... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Funny, my response to your post is much like your response to the movies. Zero excitement, whoopdedoo, and who the fuck cares?

    6. Re:principal photography is meaningless... by gamgee5273 · · Score: 1
      I think you're reading way too much into The Matrix. The brothers, while I like them, are not really deep thinkers from what I've seen. They're flashy, they're stylistic, they've got good FX. But, in the end, I think The Matrix is going to be nothing more than a retelling of Alice in Wonderland. I just hope Neo doesn't wake up at the same computer he was at in the first movie.

      One thing I will say is that Lucas has never said he's trying to do anything other than tell a story. It's a simple story, not too complex, but there really isn't anything to take away from it other than your own thoughts as to whether Lucas told the story well. In that regards, I hold him in much higher esteem than the aforementioned brothers who seem to prefer making people think there is something more to their movies then there ever will be...

      Star Wars is Lucas's. It is his story. Take it or leave it - but don't invalidate it just because you don't like it. By doing that all you do is say that he doesn't have the right to tell a story the way he weants to. Too many SW fans seem to think they own the story, and that Lucas is somehow betraying them for what he's doing. The characters are his, the storyline is his, the idea is his. He has the right to do what he wants to with the pieces as he sees fit. Go see another movie if you don't want to watch his presentation of his story.

  25. prepare for cutesy scenes! by goon+america · · Score: 4, Funny

    I bet baby Luke Skywalker and baby Han Solo will have a chance meeting! Maybe baby Han Solo will throw a tater-tot at baby Greedo

    1. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by Rary · · Score: 5, Funny
      "Maybe baby Han Solo will throw a tater-tot at baby Greedo"

      Only if baby Greedo throws a tater-tot first.

      --

      "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein

    2. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by Edgewize · · Score: 1

      Ahahahahahahahaha *gasp* hahahahahahaha *wheeze* hahahahahahahahaha! *collapse*

      Where are my mod points when I need them?

    3. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by MagikSlinger · · Score: 1

      Oh, great! "Star Wars Babies". Don't give the Great Whore of the Galaxy anymore ideas, OK?

      --
      The bitter lessons of a veteran coder: http://bitterprogrammer.blogspot.com
    4. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by CrackHappy · · Score: 1

      Wasn't that Greedo in EP I? Or am I smokin crack?

      --
      1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d Capitalization really works: i helped my uncle jack off a horse
    5. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by CGP314 · · Score: 1

      Reminds me why I hate Lucas. I will never believe that a professional bounty hunter could miss his mark by three feet at point blank range. Han was cooler when he shot first anyway.

    6. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by mechugena · · Score: 1

      Maybe their mothers will leave them in their strollers outside the Quik Stop??

    7. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by sammaffei · · Score: 1

      Yes, agreed.

      Han was supposed to be start out being a scumbag.

      The quest (helping the rebel alliance) redeems him.

      I guess Lucas forgot that... PC idiot that he has become.

      Frankly, I even remember old Star Wars toy ads where Greedo gets shot (knocked over) by Han in the Cantina playset.

      --

      Political correctness is the newest form of slavery.

    8. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      Reminds me why I hate Lucas. I will never believe that a professional bounty hunter could miss his mark by three feet at point blank range. Han was cooler when he shot first anyway.

      Not that Lucas has been trying to preserve the plots in any of the books (i.e. Boba Fett was a madeup name by the man once known as the Protecter somethingorother. Jango Fett never existed, iirc), however, if you read Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina, you'll find that Greedo was a wanna-be bounty hunter who was setup to get Han as his first bounty. He was supposed to try, and Han was supposed to kill him. He had only used a blaster like, once maybe?, before he went after Han. He didn't know what he was doing...

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    9. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by kalidasa · · Score: 1

      The Greedo scene was cut from Ep. I, but is in the CD extras. I suspect Han (as a kid) and Chewbacca (as an adult) will be in it.

    10. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by NeuroManson · · Score: 1

      I see a whole TV cartoon series! Yes! Star Wars Babies!

      "Wuke, I'm your fawther!"

      "Nooooooo! That's impossible!"

      "No kidding, I'm stiw twying to figuwe it out mysewf!"

      --
      Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
    11. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by Rary · · Score: 1
      "you'll find that Greedo was a wanna-be bounty hunter who was setup to get Han as his first bounty."

      I have problems with that. Let's not forget that Han, who hung out with bounty hunters regularly, knew exactly who Greedo was. I don't buy this idea that Greedo was on his first bounty hunting gig.

      Besides, even a wanna-be bounty hunter would take the time to actually learn how to fire a blaster at someone 3 frikkin' feet away from him.

      Hmm, count the blaster shots in all the movies. How often do you see a blaster misfire?

      --

      "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein

    12. Re:prepare for cutesy scenes! by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      I have problems with that. Let's not forget that Han, who hung out with bounty hunters regularly, knew exactly who Greedo was. I don't buy this idea that Greedo was on his first bounty hunting gig.

      Yeah, I know waaaay too much about this. Anyway, in the third book of the Han Solo trilogy, Boba Fett warns Han that Greedo is after him. Greedo also meets with Han several times before confronting him in the cantina and getting shot. So yes, he knew Greedo was after him, and he knew who he was, and he knew (ref: Han's conversation with jabba in the hangar, originally filmed with a human playing Jabba) that Greedo was just a two-bit player, if that. Greedo did spend some time learning to fire a blaster, and that damn blaster shot was added in. Han fired first in the original release, the original vhs release, the book, and the Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina. Lucas just was't in sync with "his creation" when he had that blaster shot added in.

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
  26. Does this mean... by BigGar' · · Score: 4, Funny

    our efforts to get "The Star Wars Kid" into the film have failed?

    --


    Shop smart, Shop S-Mart.
    1. Re:Does this mean... by Fammy2000 · · Score: 1

      Did you watch Episode I or II? 90% of the film is post-production computer work. He's still got a chance.

      --
      If I had something intelligent to say, I would have said it.
    2. Re:Does this mean... by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 1

      In fact, I think the only thing that was actually filmed was Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman sitting on a green screen mat mumbling to each other.

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    3. Re:Does this mean... by Overly+Critical+Guy · · Score: 1

      The plural of "virus" is "viruses."

      --
      "Sufferin' succotash."
    4. Re:Does this mean... by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Maybe they'll do some kind of 2d mocap on him and use his motions for a jedi power battle.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    5. Re:Does this mean... by The+Lynxpro · · Score: 1

      our efforts to get "The Star Wars Kid" into the film have failed?

      Nah, he could still be the digital beast Obi-Wan rides on in the big chase scene with the other villain of Ep. III.

      According to the leaks from the Ep. III SpyCam sessions, the new villain looks like a cross between a CloneTrooper and Darth Vader, all in white. He is neither a Sith or a Jedi traitor, but he brandishes two lightsabers.

      --
      "Right now, somewhere in this world, Scott Baio is plowing a woman he doesn't love," - Peter Griffin, *Family Guy*
  27. A suggestion by Mr_Silver · · Score: 0, Redundant
    Does anyone have any bandwith available that could make an automated mirror for Slashdot stories?

    It could just poll the site on a regular basis, pick up new stories and download a mirror of the links before it gets terminally slashdotted.

    I think this would be a great idea (given that the /. authors are reluctant to do such a thing).

    (Although having said that, we're talking Geocities here which may survive a slashdotting just fine - it just won't give you the content)

    Hell, I'll happily write the code if no-one else will. I did Avantslash for viewing Slashdot on your PDA/WAP phone so I already have the code for parsing stories. Just need someone with a lot of bandwidth.

    --
    Avantslash - View Slashdot cleanly on your mobile phone.
    1. Re:A suggestion by Mr_Silver · · Score: 1
      Does anyone have any bandwith available that could make an automated mirror for Slashdot stories?

      Replying to my own posts, how sad.

      Might as just well use Google.

      --
      Avantslash - View Slashdot cleanly on your mobile phone.
    2. Re:A suggestion by realdpk · · Score: 1

      Someone was doing that once, but I don't think I've seen it since. Probably because when the site "comes back", he tries to sell Amazon books on it or something? I dunno.

  28. As If.... by Dark+Paladin · · Score: 4, Funny

    A million fans are about to cry out in terror - and are suddenly silenced.

    Episodes 4-6: I liked them. They were the cowboy fantasy with a tale to tell of redemption, growing into an adult, and the small, plucky rebellion beating the odds against an Empire of British accented bad guys.

    Episodes 1-2? We've got some of the worst scripting that has ever happened. Episode 2 alone was nearly a black hole in a craptastic display that was barely saved by the precense of Ass Kickin' Yoda. (And it still had the stupid heroes who couldn't seem to figure out how to roll out of the way of a falling hunk of metal so Yoda had to save their dumb asses rather than taking out the "Bad Guy".)

    So unless Episode 3 has a huge song and dance scene with a whole parade of digially generated Natalie Portmans in that super tight white Princess Leia like outfits singing "You Are My Sunshine", I'll just wait until it shows up as a special on Fox.

    With plenty of commercial interruptions so I can have a time for hurlage.

    1. Re:As If.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So unless Episode 3 has a huge song and dance scene with a whole parade of digially generated Natalie Portmans in that super tight white Princess Leia like outfits singing "You Are My Sunshine", I'll just wait until it shows up as a special on Fox. I'd watch that.

    2. Re:As If.... by dr_dank · · Score: 1

      So unless Episode 3 has a huge song and dance scene with a whole parade of digially generated Natalie Portmans in that super tight white Princess Leia like outfits singing "You Are My Sunshine",

      Word has it that no late audience members will be admitted during the breathtaking hot grits scene.

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    3. Re:As If.... by mechugena · · Score: 1
      So unless Episode 3 has a huge song and dance scene with a whole parade of digially generated Natalie Portmans in that super tight white Princess Leia like outfits singing "You Are My Sunshine", I'll just wait until it shows up as a special on Fox.

      DAMMIT!! Have you been monitoring my dreams again? I've got to make myself a new tinfoil hat now, you friggin' asshat!

    4. Re:As If.... by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Correction: Half of the Natalie Portmans will be in Leia's white robes; The other half will be featured in Leia's bronze Jabba's love slut outfits.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    5. Re:As If.... by Rimbo · · Score: 1

      I was thinking more of that backless dress she was wearing on Naboo. :P~~~~~~~~~~~

    6. Re:As If.... by Rary · · Score: 1
      So unless Episode 3 has a huge song and dance scene with a whole parade of digially generated Natalie Portmans in that super tight white Princess Leia like outfits singing "You Are My Sunshine"

      If Lucas did that, you just know he'd have to include Bea Arthur in there somewhere.

      --

      "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein

  29. So long as it chronicles the death of Jar-Jar by i_r_sensitive · · Score: 1

    'nuf said.

    --
    "Talk minus action equals nothing" - Joey Shithead, D.O.A.
    "Talk minus action equals /." -
  30. I've found this one too by PhukLunix · · Score: 5, Funny

    INT - MOS EISLEY CANTINA (Hand written in ballpoint, in crabbed, small letters) No point in reinventing the wheel or paying out our asses again for thirty midgets and a small army of makeup artists and top-ranked FX crews, guys. CGI this in its entirety. Get me some of those Japs at Circlehard or wherever. People love repeat themes and babies too- so we'll just have the Cantina band all be a bunch of toddlers, since this is all maintaining the prequel theme, which should go well for our Huggies Pull-em-ups! plug spot. I can just feel the Baby Snoots dolls flying off the shelves at Target and Wal-Mart now. Oh, squeeze in that Britney Spears-as-Twi'lek-dancer cameo we promised if possible too. - George
    YODA and ANAKIN sidle up to the bar. The BARTENDER eyes the sabers on their belts suspiciously.

    BARTENDER: We don't serve your kind here.

    ANAKIN: (Gestures in some arbitrary, mystical manner) You need to go outside now and shave a bantha. We should serve ourselves.

    BARTENDER: I need to go out back and shave a bantha. Why don't you two gentlemen serve yourselves.

    ANAKIN Force-pours himself and YODA a couple of tall, stiff drinks.

    YODA: (Shaking his head remorsefully) Strong in the Force you have become indeed, Anakin. Powers you are not using responsible. (YODA grumbles) Not responsible. Not responsible.

    ANAKIN: With all due respect Master Yoda, coming here was at your request. Not only have I prevented a conflict, but now we have an open bar.

    YODA: (Sighing in resignation) Then knocking a few back, we will be, and explaining I will the reason of this meeting.

    TRANSITION- Now ANAKIN is Force-pouring rows of drinks, sloppily, for a garrolously cheering crowd of CGI, puppets, and whatever monster suited extras we had in the closet. 'Friends' cast cameo.

    ANAKIN: Woohooo! Make mine a Force Light!

    YODA: Talking we must.

    ANAKIN: Okay. But do you gotta keep talking like you learned your grammar from an electrocuted Wookiee?

    YODA: Comment sliding I will let. Talk to you of Amidala, I must.

    ANAKIN: Awww you're not going to start coming down on me like the Jedi Council, all, 'marriage is forbidden' this and 'we're throwing you out' that are ya?

    YODA: Spending too much time from Amidala you have been. Speaking with Master Yoda she has.

    ANAKIN: (briefly sobering up) WHAT? The bitch lies! I never laid a hand on her!

    YODA: Calm, young Anakin. She is lonely. Only seeking companionship she was. Busy you have been.

    ANAKIN: (Glowering) What I do wi' my time is my bi'ness.

    YODA: Indeed it is... indeed it is.

    ANAKIN: Will you drop this pretentious, ancient green sage midget nonsense for one minute and get to your point?

    YODA: As you wish. Lonely woman, this Amidala. Seek comfort with old Jedi she did. Leads to other things, one thing does. (YODA giggles impishly) Little Yoda needed some comforting too.

    ANAKIN: (Sputtering) You... she... WHAT?

    YODA: Woman with needs, Amidala is. Old Jedi knows more tricks than just lightsaber.

    ANAKIN: (Staring a moment) How is that even possible! WAIT, don't even respond. You're supposed to be a Master! You're not supposed to be doing that anyway!

    YODA: Falling in love is expressly forbidden, but love in general is not. Besides. Jedi Master I am. Jedi Monk I am not.

    ANAKIN: I'MA KILL THAT BITCH!

    YODA: Find her, you will not. Hidden from you she is.

    Queue the Linkin Park plug music. ANAKIN howls all angsty, Force-smashes a bunch of bottles and cups into the wall. The crowd gets upset and starts booing him. ANAKIN, knowing his kung fu is inferior to YODA's, pouts and then jumps out a window, bawling the entire way. YODA calmly finishes his drink.

    YODA: Never trust a politician, told him I did.

    1. Re:I've found this one too by PhukLunix · · Score: 0

      Star Wars VII: The Further Adventures of Star Wars

      Luke: Hey, everybody!
      New Republic Senate: Luke!

      (Luke walks up to the bar. Leia is standing behind it.)

      Leia: Hey, Luke. How was work today? (She pours him a cup of coffee and pulls 2 cinnamon buns from her hair.)

      Luke: Same old. Showed up, got tempted by the Dark Side, and my Dad kept going on about how when he was my age, he was already married with two unknown children out there.

      Leia: (Rolls her eyes to the laugh track.) I think he just wants to become a grandfather before the Glowing Blue Light fades away.

      (The bar door opens. The audience cheers as Han Solo walks into the room.)

      Han: Heyyyy! (He hits the jukebox with a fist, making a holo-projector of dancing aliens appear.) Has anybody seen my blaster? (He pulls out a walkie-talkie from his side pocket.) I woke up in the Millenium Falcon with this strapped to my side.

      Leia: I did that - you never call me when you're suppose to. I swear, you and that Wookie are having some weird love affair behind my back.

      Han: How did you know? I mean, that's just silly, even though his fur is as soft as silk, and.... (He clears his throat.) Anyway, I brought you a present.

      Leia: Another gold bikini?

      Han: No... (He opens the door. There stands the former Queen/Senator/Love Puppy to Darth Vader - Amidala!)

      Leia/Luke: Mom? We thought you were dead!

      Amidala: No, your father had me frozen in carbonite, hoping to come back to me someday when the Emporer was dead.

      Han: You could say she was naked and petrified.

      (Laugh track and the audience goes "ahhhh" as Luke/Leia/Amidala/Han hug.)

      Big titles: In Episode VIII, watch as C3PO remembers that he was made by Anakin, and could have saved everybody a lot of time by telling Uncle Owen and Luke Skywalker where he came from!

    2. Re:I've found this one too by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Has anybody seen my blaster? (He pulls out a walkie-talkie from his side pocket.) I woke up in the Millenium Falcon with this strapped to my side.

      Oh this is pure genius !

  31. Re:fp by rayray14 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Here's a google cache of the txt file http://216.239.37.104/search?q=cache:EjlFNploWcoJ: www.geocities.com/area51/Vault/2371/episodeIII.txt +episodeIII.txt&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

  32. Warning! Major Spoiler. by Javagator · · Score: 5, Funny

    Here's why Anakin goes bad.

    "Anakin, Meesa your father."
    "Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

  33. Someone's been reading a little too much Tolkein by Logan_Fu · · Score: 1

    So, they're gonna turn Anakin into Gollum? Sweet! "Kenobi is tricksy and false, my precious..."

  34. Fliming completed? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wonder how long before this is leaked to the net?

  35. Episode VII by bluethundr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Apparently, TheForce.net has taken it upon themselves to produce Episode VII. After the prequels, how badly could it suck? Might be worth a read for the diehard...

    --
    Quod scripsi, scripsi.
    1. Re:Episode VII by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I had a quick glance at that. Urgh. Take a good long look and realise that there might be something to professional screenwriting. The nerdy lets-see-how-many-bits-of-arcane-star-wars-knowled ge-we-can-fit-in-one-sentence bit is grating after only a couple of lines. Too much exposition, its reeks whatever its other virtues might be.

  36. Please tell me you're joking by GuyMannDude · · Score: 1

    Slashdot should be more responsible than to post links to personal sites with low bandwidth quotas.

    This is the dumbest thing I've heard here in awhile. Typically, the sites that have high bandwidth quotas are the already-popular, mainstream crap that I am inundated with from every other source. One of the reasons I come here to slashdot is to discover some little-known, alternative-viewpoint material on the web. They typically do not have large bandwidth quotas because, let's face it, they languish in obscurity. Calling for slashdot to only post links to high-bandwidth-capable sites is pretty much the same as calling for slashdot to only post links to mainstream, popular crap. What kind of geek are you? If the site is down for now, just check back in a few days. Hell, check back tonight. It's not like most of us are going to be doing anything else on a Friday night anyhow!

    Now I see why I you are already on my Foes list.

    GMD

    1. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Mmmrky · · Score: 2, Funny

      Right, but it's GEOCITIES. I mean come on folks, I appreciate a good slashdotting now and again too, but a geocities site? Stands about as much of a chance of staying up as a moronic weather reporter in a hurricane.

    2. Re:Please tell me you're joking by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, Geocities... the only Web host where you exceed your daily bandwidth quota while the banner ads are still loading.

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    3. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      retard, geocities limits individual users' bandwidt. They're not at risk of being slashdotted.

    4. Re:Please tell me you're joking by jensend · · Score: 1

      No, no, no. Not "don't link to low-bandwidth sites", but "don't link to sites with low bandwidth quotas", as in people whose accounts on some huge free hosting site- Geocities in this case- could be suspended or even terminated if they use more than their prescribed MB/week. (I don't know if Geocities does this, but some free hosting places do.)

    5. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thats seriously the weakest argument I've heard in a long time. You dont deserve to post on the internet, retard.

    6. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Mmmrky · · Score: 1

      Right, I'm not stupid. Geocities isn't going to go down, but we sure won't be able to view that page.

      It doesn't take long to exceed a user's allotment.

    7. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Overly+Critical+Guy · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Jesus, you're an idiot.

      It's Geocities.

      --
      "Sufferin' succotash."
    8. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      as are you (an idiot). what part of "low-bandwidth quotas" don't you understand?

    9. Re:Please tell me you're joking by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Were you born an asshole or do you just smell like one?

  37. Hi! How are you? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I send you this script in order to have your advice.

  38. I can no longer watch this series. by Murmer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Not Lucas' fault, mind you. The person responsible is my buddy Sean, who part way through The Phantom Menace turns to me and says "I've figured it out. When they say 'midichlorians', the mean 'semen'."

    Gak.

    --
    Mike Hoye
  39. What's next? by Vespillo · · Score: 4, Funny

    First the plot of EP3 is leaked across the net, what is next? where will the madness end!!

    Luckly the plot for Return Of The Kind is kept under lock and key :)

    --
    The problem as I see it is that I have no personality of my own.
    1. Re:What's next? by CrackHappy · · Score: 1

      I know, I wish I could get a copy of that plot for ROTK. I would die to get my hands on it beforehand. Some idiot suggested I go buy the Lord of the Rings books, but I know it's just a cheap hack's imitation of the REAL art, the Movies!

      --
      1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d Capitalization really works: i helped my uncle jack off a horse
  40. A Fake by jetkust · · Score: 1

    The key scene to Episode III, of course, is an action sequence consisting of Natalie Portmen pouring hot grits down Darth Vader's pants during a sword fight with yoda. But yet this wasn't represented in any of the pictures...Okay nevermind.

    1. Re:A Fake by Stephonovich · · Score: 1
      I knew it wouldn't take long for a hot grits reference... But, since others are sadly lacking, I'll risk the wrath of moderators. I've got Karma to spare anyway.

      1. Acquire Episode III script.
      2. ????
      3. PROFIT!!!

      (-:Stephonovich:-)

      --
      "Who needs reincarnation when we've got parallel universes?" -Me
    2. Re:A Fake by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      I knew it wouldn't take long for a hot grits reference... But, since others are sadly lacking, I'll risk the wrath of moderators. I've got Karma to spare anyway.

      In Soviet Russia, Episode III script leaks YOU.

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
  41. No SWK then? by marshac · · Score: 1

    So I guess that means no SWK now? Who knows, since Lucas loves CG so much, perhaps he can digitally insert SWK into SWIII. Couldn't be any worse than Jar-Jar.

    1. Re:No SWK then? by Flunitrazepam · · Score: 1

      Yea... Lucas not listening to fan's requests?

      Never thought I'd see the day

      I hate that big fat jew

      --
      1) Your analysis is based on bad assumptions so your result is way off. 2) You're a sick bastard for fucking a horse.
  42. ok ok last one ! by PhukLunix · · Score: 0

    INT - Secret Volcano Lair
    DARTH VADER heads toward ANAKIN. He shoves the chair on which ANAKIN is seated,
    and it slams to the window. ANAKIN sees through the window, below a transport
    idles. DARTH VADER is brandishing an unpowered light saber menacingly.
    ANAKIN: What are you doing?
    DARTH VADER Tying up loose ends.
    ANAKIN I'm begging you, don't do this.
    DARTH VADER I'm not doing this. We are doing this. This is what we want.
    ANAKIN No, I don't want this.
    DARTH VADER Right, except "you" is meaningless now. We have to forget about you.
    ANAKIN You're a voice in my head.
    DARTH VADER You're a voice in mine!
    ANAKIN You're a fucking hallucination, why I can't get rid of you?
    DARTH VADER You need me.
    ANAKIN No, I don't. I really don't anymore--
    DARTH VADER --Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself
    feel better. Take some responsibility.
    ANAKIN I do. I am responsible for all of it and I accept that. So, please, I'm
    begging you, please call this off.
    DARTH VADER Have I ever let us down? How far you come because of me?...I will bring us
    through this. As always, I will carry you kicking and screaming and in the
    end, you'll thank me.
    ANAKIN This can't be happening.
    DARTH VADER That does it. I'm sick of your whining.
    DARTH VADER brings the saber up, and puts it at his jaw.
    ANAKIN Why do you want to put a weapon to your head?
    DARTH VADER Not my head. Our head. Anakin, I want you to really listen to me.
    ANAKIN trembles.
    DARTH VADER My eyes are open.
    Their eyes are locked, unblinking. Long silence. A single tear rolls
    down ANAKIN'S cheek.
    DARTH VADER puts the hilt of the saber in his mouth. In extreme slow motion, his
    finger flips the switch. VOOSH. The blade of the saber extends, emerging through
    the back of his head. His eyes bulge. Clear liquid seeps and boils around the
    blade, and smoke wafts out of his mouth and eyes. The blade retracts.
    DARTH VADER falls into a heap on the ground. ANAKIN stumbles backwards and falls
    into the surrounding lava. A group of CLONES burst into the room, moving forward
    DARTH VADER.
    CLONE 1 Where is everybody?
    CLONE 2 I don't know, what's going on?
    One of the CLONES' blaster rifle falls to the floor. DARTH VADER quakes, holding
    the side of his head; a ragged hole blown in his cheek. He's bleeding hard, but
    he's alive.
    CLONE 1 Sir, are you alright?
    DARTH VADER Oh, yeah, I'm ok.
    CLONE 3 You look terrible. What happened?
    DARTH VADER Oh, nothing. It's no problem.
    CLONE 2 No, no, sir, he's not kidding, you look really awful. You need medical
    assistance.
    DARTH VADER Look, I'm fine. Everything's fine.
    The CLONES exit, and the camera follows.
    CLONE 1 I can't believe he's standing.
    CLONE 2 One tough motherfucker.
    CLONE 3 Man, that guy's gonna need, like, a suit or something. That looked really bad.

  43. Who cares? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The movie is going to suck anyway, like Phantom Menace, and Attack of the Clones.

    Aren't they going to have baby Chewbacca in this one, or Chewbacca's dad?

  44. Until a Technology Change arrives by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Episode III is in Post-Production until a new breakthrough in cinematography is made and He finds that he can finally redo the script the way he originally envisioned it. Then it will be put back in Pre-Post-Production while he adds the script content this new technology has made available. However, adding this new content will take so long that the content it was added to looks old so he has to rescreen all the old content using the new technology to maintain a uniform look throughout the movie. Unfortunately, some time during this Pre-Post-Production one of the actors becomes unavailable through illness or accident and the actor has to be replaced by another actor resulting in another delay in the movie while those parts are rescreened. Unfortunately, so much time has now past that no one really remembers what the original script intention was. . . .

  45. Anakin by GuyMannDude · · Score: 5, Funny

    On the molten, volcanic world of Sigma Vulcanus, Anakin Skywalker, a handsome, swarthy man with a dignified stature, makes an important discovery.

    Wow. What a picture-perfect description of Hayden Christenson...

    Now if the script described Anakin as a punk-ass little pretty-boy shithead with a dippy smile, I'd be more inclined to believe this "script" :)

    GMD

    1. Re:Anakin by OrderOfSemprini · · Score: 4, Funny

      "androgynous waif boy" also works!

    2. Re:Anakin by Rude+Turnip · · Score: 1

      ""On the molten, volcanic world of Sigma Vulcanus, Anakin Skywalker, a handsome, swarthy man with a dignified stature, makes an important discovery."

      Wow. What a picture-perfect description of Hayden Christenson..."

      Well, maybe that's *your* personal view of Hayden, but it seems like a pretty generic description of a handsome man.

    3. Re:Anakin by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      do you even KNOW what swarthy means? hayden is definitely not swarthy.

    4. Re:Anakin by OrderOfSemprini · · Score: 1

      and what the heck is he doing with a dignified statue? Statue of what?? How big is that statue? It must be a pain to carry it around.

      Oh, 'stature'.. never mind

    5. Re:Anakin by HBI · · Score: 1

      rocking dude!

      --
      HBI's Law: Frequency of calling others Nazis is directly correlated with the likelihood of the accuser being Communist.
  46. will it suck by b17bmbr · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    face it, the latest star wars basically suck. high tech wizardry and moronic scripts and pathetic acting. except for natalie portman, yum yum. anywyas, the originals were classics. great stories, space age westerns. great acting. nobody, nobody, beats harry ford's han solo. i blew 8 bucks on the first one, then rented the second. what a POS. but, the vid game is cool on the game cube!!

    --
    My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
  47. Two words. by Mr_Icon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mannequin Skywalker

    --
    If you open yourself to the foo, You and foo become one.
  48. hmm.. what do you suppose by Valarauk · · Score: 3, Funny

    the odds of me getting to see Jar Jar die in a wash of gore that would put the best of "Starship Troopers" to shame are?

    --
    **insert favorite profound quotation here**
  49. My starwars script, by Anne Elk by Thud457 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I'm still hoping they'll film this!!!

    --

    the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

    1. Re:My starwars script, by Anne Elk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "By Miss Anne Elk, who is an expert..."

      "Anne Elk."

      "Wot?"

      "Miss Anne Elk, not Anne Expert."

      "No, I was saying that you, Miss Elk, were 'an' A-N, not A-N-N-E expert on elks. I'm sorry, on dinosaur movie series."

  50. Yeah, but only if... by sczimme · · Score: 1


    Baby Greedo hucks a lima bean at Baby Han first.

    --
    I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
  51. ACTUALLY the IMPORTANT question is... by tomzyk · · Score: 1

    Did the Star Wars kid make it in?
    I think the MORE IMPORTANT question is:
    Which version of the Star Wars Kid will they digitize into the final release of the movie?

    --
    Karma: NaN
  52. who cares by SethJohnson · · Score: 4, Insightful


    I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that Lucas has completely fumbled this franchise. I could really give a crap that the third movie is finished. He had a few flashes of brilliance when he was young, but lost it.

    Hopefully Tarantino won't suffer this fate.
    1. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Completely agree, and though I'm old enough to have seen 2/3 of the first trilogy at the time of its original theatrical run, the franchise never hooked me. I really like 'Empire Strikes Back', but only b/c it is actually a good movie that can stand on its own, not b/c it's a 'StarWars' flick.

      However, Slashdot's rampant fanboy-ism really disgusts me. Hype an upcoming 'StarWars' film, watch it, become disappointed, bitch about it for a year and a half, repeat cycle .

    2. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >Hopefully Tarantino won't suffer this fate. You mean he hasn't already?

    3. Re:who cares by LadyLucky · · Score: 1

      Perhaps by could give a crap you meant couldn't give a crap? Sounds a little odd...

      --
      dominionrd.blogspot.com - Restaurants on
    4. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No no.

      He means

      "It's a really good movie... FOR ME TO POOP ON!"

    5. Re:who cares by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      Hopefully Tarantino won't suffer this fate.

      Hell, the script writing isn't so bad, if you think about it. He could've handed the script to Tarantino to shoot and they would've rocked!

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    6. Re:who cares by inkswamp · · Score: 2, Insightful
      I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that Lucas has completely fumbled this franchise.

      Then I must not be considered part of "a lot of people." You don't speak for me. Then again, I understand that the films are meant to be fun and enjoyed purely on that level alone. Apparently some of you are looking for a life-changing experience. Tell you what--go read a Shirley Maclaine book and leave the rest of us the fuck alone, okay?

      Hopefully Tarantino won't suffer this fate.

      When Quentin "steal every David Lynch idea I can get my hands on" Tarantino does anything that's remotely as enjoyable and inspired as Star Wars, then get back to us.

      --
      --Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
    7. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When Quentin "steal every David Lynch idea I can get my hands on" Tarantino does anything that's remotely as enjoyable and inspired as Star Wars, then get back to us.

      As someone who just saw Mullholland Drive for the first time last weekend, I have to say, David Lynch is overrated and a creep. It was just a picturebook example of bad editing.

      And no, it's not that I didn't "get" it. I got it all right, it was an artsy film made for the sake of being artsy.

      Garbage monster with a blue mystical box, lesbians with big tits, bad dialogue, flashbacks/flashforwards that confuse the timeline, did any of this make it a better film? Shit.

      David Lynch sucks monkey balls.

      If you want a well made film that leaves you wondering, go rent Donnie Darko.

    8. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      OMG OMG OMG YOU ARE SOOOOO COOL!!@!!!

      I wanna be JUST LIKE YOU!!!!@!!!

      HOW do I DO IT??>?>>!??!!?!!!!!

      OMG OMG OMG did you ever read any Kurt Vonnegut?~!?! BEST EVAR!!!!!!!!!@!!@!!!

      lol...

    9. Re:who cares by Rary · · Score: 1
      "Hopefully Tarantino won't suffer this fate."

      *cough*From Dusk Till Dawn*cough*

      --

      "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein

    10. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      As someone who just saw Mullholland Drive for the first time last weekend, I have to say, David Lynch is overrated and a creep. It was just a picturebook example of bad editing.

      yer clueless.

      And no, it's not that I didn't "get" it.

      but if you didn't "get it" how would you recognize that?

      lesbians with big tits

      oh yeah, i hated that too, he said sarcastically.

    11. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      All caps = faggot

    12. Re:who cares by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      but if you didn't "get it" how would you recognize that?
      but if you didn't "get it" how would you recognize that?

    13. Re:who cares by inkswamp · · Score: 1
      David Lynch sucks monkey balls.

      Straight from the Cartman school of movie review.

      --
      --Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
  53. Coffee scrolls, eh? by MyDixieWrecked · · Score: 1
    There's no sign of a repeat of Princess Leia's coffee scroll hair-do yet.

    I assume they meant "coffee roll." Although, I can't be totally sure... It's Australia, after all.

    --



    ...spike
    Ewwwwww, coconut...
  54. amazing by c0rruptc0d3 · · Score: 1

    lucase err whoever wrote this "script" for the ENTIRE damn movie did it in about one day note the dates on all the pages....freakin amazing.

    1. Re:amazing by Un+pobre+guey · · Score: 1

      Amazing? Episode I sure seemed to have been written in a day.

  55. "Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got "it" by reporter · · Score: 1, Interesting
    Lucas' stroytelling prowess seems to have diminished with the ensuing decades after Jedi, but have they diminished this much?

    The legions of fans of "Indiana Jones" would disagree. George Lucas co-created "Indiana Jones", and its stories exceed the quality of the stories of "Star Wars". The former has less sci-fi gadgetry and more human quality than the latter. The exception might be Star Wars IV.

    ... from the desk of the reporter

  56. My Vow... by cyranoVR · · Score: 1

    Say it with me

    Episode III spoiler FREE

    1. Re:My Vow... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      oh please, I and II were the biggest spoilers, they revealed that III would suck

    2. Re:My Vow... by jdavidb · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Me, too! There's only one more chance.

      And, despite what people say, I think all five movies so far have been great.

  57. Fucking idiots! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why the *HELL* would you link to a geocities site?!

  58. Lucas could make him a hero by KalvinB · · Score: 5, Funny

    by having him kill Jar Jar Binks.

    A nice 30 sec bit of him bumping into Jar Jar "accidently" knocking him off a very high cliff and then saying "oops" and running off.

    Ben

    1. Re:Lucas could make him a hero by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      haha. that is funny.

    2. Re:Lucas could make him a hero by NanoGator · · Score: 2, Funny

      " nice 30 sec bit of him bumping into Jar Jar "accidently" knocking him off a very high cliff and then saying "oops" and running off."

      He could then shout "I've got the conch!"

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    3. Re:Lucas could make him a hero by MrRage · · Score: 1

      Actually, I think it would be cool if he tried out the choking thing using the force out on Jar Jar. Maybe they can make him the "guinea pig" for the choking routine.

  59. Spoiler by Buzz_Litebeer · · Score: 2, Informative

    In episode 3, anakin becomes an evil man known as darth vader, after making padme pregnant with twins.
    Palpatine becomes the Empreror, and the Jedi are hunted down, with only a few escaping.
    Yoda lives through it, and so does Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda goes to Dagobah (though it might not be revealed in the 3rd movie) and ObiWan goes to live on Tatooine, where Luke is left with his uncle Own Lars.

    --
    If you don't vote, you don't matter, so don't waste your time telling me your opinion
    1. Re:Spoiler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are the moderators all 14 years old? Informative? It was obviously a joke guys.

    2. Re:Spoiler by Elwood+P+Dowd · · Score: 4, Funny

      Further spoilers:

      Anakin IS LUKE'S FATHER!

      Wait...

      --

      There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
    3. Re:Spoiler by nagora · · Score: 1
      You missed out:

      Palpatine causes a fire which kills Padme and the children and blames some scapegoat. Anakin is driven by grief and guilt by his failure to save them, despire being horribly scared in the attempt, to the dark side and kills the scapegoat (Jar-Jar, please, let it be Jar-Jar!). Realising that he has fallen to the Sith, Yoda decides not to tell him that the twins in fact were rescued by the 'droids and are safe and in fact only tells even Obi-Wan that the boy survived; the girl is placed with a loyal noble family on Alderban.

      The droids' memories are blanked to prevent this information ever falling into Vader's hands and Obi-Wan retreats to the desert where he keeps an eye on Luke as he grows up with his uncle.

      I think that brings up up to episode IV.

      TWW

      --
      "Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
    4. Re:Spoiler by julesh · · Score: 0, Troll

      Are the moderators all 14 years old? Informative? It was obviously a joke guys.

      You expect better? Bullshit articles that don't have a fragment of truth in them are generally mod'd 5 Informative. 'I for one welcome our new Sith overlords' will be rated 5 Funny. Even 'In soviet russia light saber own you' will get 3 points.

      This is slashdot, after all...

    5. Re:Spoiler by Waldmeister · · Score: 3, Insightful

      You wrote:
      In episode 3 [...] Yoda goes to Dagobah (though it might not be revealed in the 3rd movie) [...]

      I'm pretty sure, it will be shown. (I don't expect much new stuff in Episode III, BTW.) You remember the old tree on Dagobah, where Luke had his first "date" with the dark side of The Force? :-)

      In Episode VI it is explained, that Yoda was able to hide on Dagobah, because he killed a Sith Lord there, exactly where that tree is, and whose left behind aura saved Yoda from being found by the emperor.

      So we just need a "victim" for Yoda. And we already know who him. :-)

      George Lukas let Yoda already have a quite absurd fight with Count Dooku in Episode II. Count Dooku is nowhere mentioned in Episode IV to VI and somebody explained somewhere, that Sith always show up in packs of two. The Emperor, Darth Vader and Count Dooku (aka Darth Tyranus, thanks to imdb) are one too much. So bye, bye, Dooku, R.I.P.

      So not only the Count has to die, but the studio bosses also love lengthy fighting scenes, to attract the not so much Star War addicted. So I would be very, very surprised, if we don't see Count Dooku dying on Dagobah in Episode III.

      I think, the Star Wars universe is quite well known, so there is more than enough fabric for an excess length Episode III. There will be some new details (why or how get C3PO and R2D2 the leap to Episode IV?) or dispensable scenes (with Jar Jar, for example *eg*). But I think, that the basic story board is already pretty well known.

    6. Re:Spoiler by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      I'm only 13 you insensitive clod!

      (That'll get 2 points.)

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    7. Re:Spoiler by Prior+Restraint · · Score: 1

      In Episode VI it is explained, that Yoda was able to hide on Dagobah, because he killed a Sith Lord there...

      Are you sure that was ROTJ? I thought it was in one of Timothy Zahn's novels.

    8. Re:Spoiler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Making fun of retarded moderators gets you retarded moderation. Don't forget that,...

    9. Re:Spoiler by BigKato · · Score: 1

      You're right Prior Restraint. It was in Timothy Zahn's trilogy that takes place after ROTJ. Those books were "Heir to the Empire", "Dark Force Rising", and "The Last Command". I read them in high school and they kick ass.

      --
      So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
    10. Re:Spoiler by cactopus · · Score: 1

      So not only the Count has to die, but the studio bosses also love lengthy fighting scenes, to attract the not so much Star War addicted. So I would be very, very surprised, if we don't see Count Dooku dying on Dagobah in Episode III.

      Don't forget the epic fight nearly to the death of Obi-wan and Anakin that puts him in the enviro suit in the first place.

    11. Re:Spoiler by Excen · · Score: 1

      after making padme pregnant with twins

      Hey YEAH!!! I completely forgot! Natalie Portman gets nekkid, hot and heavy in this one! I been waiting for this since Episode I!

      (insert typical-immature-13-year-old comment here)

      "No beer until you finish your tequila!"
      -Leela's Dad

      --
      "No beer until you finish your tequila!" -Leela's Dad
    12. Re:Spoiler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      You remember the old tree on Dagobah, where Luke had his first "date" with the dark side of The Force?

      How could I forget? I took a date there myself several years ago. Everything went well until we headed inside and I caught glimpse of something rushing at us.

      I did what any sane man would do and shot first, but Cindy freaked, called the cops and I wound up with three years for manslaughter. Some date....

      As I see it, anyone lurking around in a cave deserves to get shot.

    13. Re:Spoiler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There will be some new details (why or how get C3PO and R2D2 the leap to Episode IV?)

      The droids will have their memories erased. Its the only possible way to clear up the obvious plot hole that Lucas didn't think through.
      In Episode 2 its shown that goldenrod spent several years on the moisture farm. Some of those years were with Owen and Beru. Funny he didn't remeber Owen or the farm in Episode 4.

      Pretty shitty that star wars is reduced to a soap opera case of amnesia.

    14. Re:Spoiler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The dark aura hiding Yoda was also mentioned in the new game Jedi Academy.

    15. Re:Spoiler by code_echelon · · Score: 1

      In turn who turns out to be the brother of Chewbaca and the cousin of Jaba the Hut. It gets lonely flying through space fighting the empire.

  60. The very true current Ep. III plot script by romcabrera · · Score: 1

    http://www.supershadow.com/starwars/episode7/plot. html Actually, the script isn't completely finished yet. There are few things that could change. This guy is very near with Lucas. If you are interested, take a peek at his site.

  61. BAH! BAH! BAH! fake by frovingslosh · · Score: 1, Flamebait
    episode III might be like (either taken from Lucas' journal in 1983, or just a fake

    Considering that 1 and 2 are nothing at all like Lucas said they would be back in '83 (remember the promise that none of the characters from the original series would be in any of the other six episodes?), nothing he said back them would matter at all. This is clearly a fake.

    Does anyone old enough to use slashdot without mommy or daddy's help care about this anyway? The original episode was fantastic and a quantum leap in sci-fi production. The next two were ok, but suffered from a lot of very obvious merchandising influences and also bad muppets rather than the good innovative effects of the original. Things went down hill from there, I can't see how episodes one, two and now three could have any appeal unless the advertisements in your Saturday morning cartoons and on your 60% sugar breakfast cereal product tie-in box brainwash a weak mind into thinking they want to see this.

    --
    I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
    1. Re:BAH! BAH! BAH! fake by frovingslosh · · Score: 5, Informative

      And let me correct myself before everyone else does - the word from Lucas back then was a vision of 3 movies set long before the original 3, in which there would be no characters that overlap with the original 3 except the robots, and that followed by the last 3 episodes, again with only the robots as a common thread. He certainly had no intention of making the first 3 include Darth Vader, Yoda or anyone else he might be weaseling in because of their obvious marketing potential back in '83 when he was laying out his plan for the 9 movies.

      --
      I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
    2. Re:BAH! BAH! BAH! fake by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      There are actually a lot of interesting things Lucas does in the new films.... http://www.brightlightsfilm.com/38/clones1.htm

    3. Re:BAH! BAH! BAH! fake by Justin205 · · Score: 1

      He certainly had no intention of making the first 3 include Darth Vader

      He may not think that Anakin Skywalker counts as Darth Vader. And on the other characters, if Anakin were to be there, Obi-Wan had to be to.

      --
      "Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you."
    4. Re:BAH! BAH! BAH! fake by frovingslosh · · Score: 2, Insightful
      He may not think that Anakin Skywalker counts as Darth Vader.

      No Lucas clearly understands that Darth and Anakin skywalker are the same character. Back in the 80's when he spoke of 9 movies it was to be 3 independent 3 movie sets. The "first" was set long before the original, the characters from the "first" 3 would have been long dead before the original was to have occured. The last 3 were to have been after the original. He stated that. I don't recall if he was as clear about how far past the original that last set of 3 was in time as he had been with the first three, but he made it clear that it would be far enough that there would be no characters from the first three in any of the other six. He very clearly stated that the two robots were to be the only two characters that were to be in all 9 movies and that none of the non-robot characters would be in per-quels or sequels.

      He's clearly changed his vision since then. That doesn't mean episodes 1, 2 and C are any worse or any better than his original vision. I personally think he could have done mush better if he had followed his original vision, but looking at things like Jar-Jar it's clear that he could have screwed up the original vision too by trying to be too cute and creating merchandising oportunities and forgetting who the original movie was targeted at and appealed to. But any claim that a quick taste of the story for episode 3 was taken from anything Lucas did in '83 is clearly bogus.

      --
      I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
    5. Re:BAH! BAH! BAH! fake by frovingslosh · · Score: 1
      He may not think that Anakin Skywalker counts as Darth Vader.

      Asside from this contradicting everything else Lucas said about episodes 1-3 in the 80's, it's dead wrong. Anakin Skywalker was in the third movie, episode 6, if you consider him the same character as Vader or not.

      --
      I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
  62. Insightful? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    What I want to know is if we'll see Natalie Portman's knockers. And if so, could she possibly get a breast enhancement before filming starts?

    Who the hell modded this as Insightful?

    There's nothing insightful about this: it's just plain obvious! :)

  63. You know you'll go to the dark side... by stienman · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Look, rebel scum, I know you're all up in arms about how bad the last two were and how bad this ones going to be, and you're all talkin' 'bout how you'll wait until it comes out on TV, blah, blah, blah.

    But let's face it - nothing any better is going to be on at the theater, and you've seen all the other ones, so you're gonna go see this one as well. You know it, I know it, the dark side is calling and you're gonna suck it.

    Then you'll complain in the following 'review' story on slashdot about how you were right, it sucked, and you wasted money and time.

    Let's just cut to the chase. You're most likely a guy. You like action scenes. The movie could suck, the characters and plot could suck, but as long as it has one or two good fight scenes, you'll be all over it.

    Nothing to be ashamed of. Go to the theater (because you don't have the big screen and kick-butt sound system you are planning on building someday), pay up, enjoy the fighting, and go home and then complain about it.

    -Adam

    1. Re:You know you'll go to the dark side... by Overly+Critical+Guy · · Score: 1

      Sorry, don't speak for me. The action sequences aren't even that great. Light saber battles used to be tense, classic sword fights, but now it's just stuntment spinning around and doing somersaults with neon green and red lights buzzing around.

      Episode 1 and 2 are complete pieces of crap.

      --
      "Sufferin' succotash."
    2. Re:You know you'll go to the dark side... by tlahoda · · Score: 1

      don't forget the mandatory boobies scenes

  64. Public Service Announcement by kurosawdust · · Score: 5, Funny
    In case you are unsure about dropping $8 to see this movie, but don't want any spoilers, I offer the following objective test of this installment's worth:

    $ grep "Jar Jar" episodeIII.txt

    $

    I'm sold.

    1. Re:Public Service Announcement by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I'm not falling for that one:

      $ head -7 episodeIII.txt
      CORUSCANT, IMPERIAL SENATE CHAMBER: Jar
      Jar Binks steps up to the podium with a huge
      sheaf of paper and begins to read from page 1.

      JAR JAR:
      Meesa gots a LOT of words to say to yousa, so
      just sit down and listen good.

    2. Re:Public Service Announcement by paranode · · Score: 1

      How intriguing that your search returned an empty line instead of nothing. What could this mean!?!?

    3. Re:Public Service Announcement by boobert · · Score: 1

      Maybe there was a typo??

      grep -i "Jar Jar" episodeIII.txt

      --
      Your ad here ask me how!
    4. Re:Public Service Announcement by kurosawdust · · Score: 1

      it means I'm using Cygwin. :P

  65. I'm calling you out on this! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I'm sorry guys, but there's just no GOAT in that. It's gotta be fake.

    Annonymous Coward -- "It's all about the GOAT!!"

  66. Arrrr by Pope+Ketric · · Score: 1

    Arrr!

    This better not suck like the first two, or we'll be hanging Lucas from the yardarm!

  67. Re:smart by jdludlow · · Score: 1
    What's that Foghorn Leghorn saying? Something about being "as smart as a sack of wet mice," I believe...

    "As sharp as a sack of wet mice."

  68. Re:Natalie Portman's knockers by TrentC · · Score: 1

    Really, after they introduced muppets, it was all over.

    So you're saying that the only good Star Wars was the first one? Y'know, Yoda was a Muppet in Empire Srikes Back and Return of the Jedi...

    (Yeah, yeah, I know, IHBT, but It was too good to pass up.)

    Jay (=

  69. Who cares by Rumagent · · Score: 1, Informative

    The coolness that was star wars, has been utterly ruined by episode 1+2. What should make 3 any better ? I predict lots of sabres, a romance or two, a script that have been lifted from a dutch porn movie, and acting worse than on the dutch porn flick.

    ... SW is dead.

    /Rumagent

  70. Funny... by Treebeard+the+Ent · · Score: 2, Funny

    BOBA FETT
    As well you should be, boy. We are supposed to all be clones,
    but you look different, which makes you a threat to our morale.
    You are hereby banished from the clone army, never to return.

    HAN SOLO
    That suits me fine, I will make my way as a rogue.

    Han Solo gets up from the table, knocks over his chair, picks up a
    duffel bag and walks away. He opens the bag and there is a puppy
    inside. He takes it out and kisses it on the head.

    HAN SOLO
    It is okay, Chewbacca, we will be all right.


    Puppy? Chewbacca? He's 200 tears old in ANH... WTF?

    lol

    --
    Never argue with an idiot. They will just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
    1. Re:Funny... by Treebeard+the+Ent · · Score: 1

      200 tears old

      I really need to preview next time...

      --
      Never argue with an idiot. They will just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
  71. Lucasfilm by Animats · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Yeah, that's Lucasfilm. Two years of preproduction, three months of principal photography, two years of postproduction.

    If only they had some good writers. As Harrison Ford once said, "George, you can write this stuff, but nobody can say it."

    1. Re:Lucasfilm by abmurray · · Score: 1

      As Harrison Ford once said, "George, you can write this stuff, but nobody can say it."

      Actually I believe he said shit not stuff...but yeah, we get the point. =]

  72. hmmm anyone else read this a long time ago...? by xa0s · · Score: 1

    I remember reading this script back in around '94 or '95 when talk of the prequels was first starting to surface.. I seem to recall getting it from a BBS or maybe through my FreeNet account at the time.

    I'm pretty sure it was debunked as some fan's lame attempt at writing what the prequels would be like.

    Gotta say though, I was always hoping the prequels would have 'Fall of the Republic' in one of their names instead of what they ended up being called.. gah

    --mike

  73. The real question is: by flikx · · Score: 1

    Will Jar-Jar be back in Episode III? And will ILM insert him into episodes IV, V, and VI??

    --
    One future, two choices. Oppose them or let them destroy us.
  74. Re:Political Correctness? by ianscot · · Score: 1

    I'm just dying to know -- how is it that "political correctness" has spoiled Star Wars in particular? You've just said it would ruin the series if we let it go any further, right?

    Seems to me like if Lucas'd left out the Stepinfetchit CGI character, and maybe made the trade confederation something other than cardboard standups with vaguely asian traits, he'd have had better movies the last two times around -- just as popcorn movies, leaving alone any sort of "correctness" you want to whine about. Isn't it bad writing in service of bigger-is-better effects that've bored me to the point where I didn't see the last one until video last time?

    Frankly I could use a few characters who try to do the right thing and struggle with it, rather than just adhering to that grand, archetypal vision Lucas has convinced himself he had at one point. No problem with the lesbian pair idea, either (ahem)... or really any characters with any chemistry whatsoever, good or bad, between them. If that's "political correctness," please, let's have more.

    --
    "Fundamentalism" isn't about divine morality. It's about human authority.
  75. Hoax by giminy · · Score: 1

    In another part of the galaxy, on the capital world of Jhantor, Palpatine enters his senate chambers - followed closely by a brash, young courtier named Prince Valarium

    I think they meant Prince Valium. Either that, or Mel Brooks is psychic in his parodies...

    --
    The Right Reverend K. Reid Wightman,
    1. Re:Hoax by kalidasa · · Score: 1

      Obviously a take-off on Valorum, the Chancellor who preceded Palpatine; of course, the idea is that you're supposed to imagine that GL originally had Valorum as Palptaine's younger courtier.

  76. Re:Natalie Portman's knockers by AssTard · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Yes, the first was the only good one. When I saw that muppet troll yoda, I knew it was over.

    --

    Asses are for crapping, not screwing.
  77. This is terrible by Stargoat · · Score: 1

    My ferret writes more realistic dialog. This can't really be the script.

    --
    Hoist Number One and Number Six.
    1. Re:This is terrible by RollingThunder · · Score: 2, Funny

      Do I really need to remind you about the "You're not like sand" drek?

      Sadly, it's almost too believable.

  78. Jedi Mind Tricks... by objekt · · Score: 1

    "This is not the script you are looking for"
    "This is not the script we are looking for."
    "Move along."
    "Move along."

    --
    -- Boycott Shell
  79. Already passed last time by ianscot · · Score: 1

    Saw the last one on a DVD my brother lent me, and ironed through the latter half of the movie only because the kids were half-watching too. It's a mess, they were more interested in playing with my old action figures than watching the movie.

    So no, this Star Wars kid, who found himself during the denouement of the Death Star unconsciously "flying" with his hands in the theater, who remembers seeing The Empire Strikes Back without any warning of the Luke's father thing and being staggered, staggered, in the theater, this one didn't see EP I until the bargain theaters, and never put a penny toward EP II after that.

    Fool me twice, nuh-uh.

    --
    "Fundamentalism" isn't about divine morality. It's about human authority.
    1. Re:Already passed last time by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, don't forget that you were 1) a kid, and 2) in the theatre. What would your reaction have been if you were watching it on t.v. *and* you had had all the other over-the-top media sprayed at you since you were born?

      -Tim, the AC Poster Child

  80. I'm afraid you're wrong by Greyfox · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Disgruntled by the piss poor Ep1, ever increasing ticket prices, half an hour of TV commercials in the theater before the movie (despite the high ticket prices) and the MPAA's increasingly obnoxious tactics, I stayed home for Ep2. I also stayed home for the Matrix 2, Spider Man, X-Men 2 and the Hulk. In fact, the last movie that I actually went to see was "Bowling for Columbine." For not much more than it costs to take in a movie (Especially if you count the ad revenue from the half hour of TV commercials) I can get dinner and a live play down at the local dinner theater. And that will be commercial free.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

    1. Re:I'm afraid you're wrong by wayne606 · · Score: 1

      What a curmudgeon. Even EP1 had some good in it (Darth Maul's fight scenes, and the pod racing was fun even though it's hard to admit that out loud). In EP2 the chase scene through Coruscant was good and Christopher Lee added a definite amount of class. Yeah, everything else was dumb. But if you only watch good movies and only eat the best cuisine and only hang out with 100% non-obnoxious people your life will be pretty boring. Well, that's my philosophy at least...

    2. Re:I'm afraid you're wrong by BiOFH · · Score: 1

      Sounds like he's likely to 'stay home' more often than not. And probably alone, unless he's found a similar-minded curmudgeon or weak sycophant to his elitism to keep company with.

      X-Men 2 was great. Spider-Man was good. Matrix 2 was so-so. SW: Episode II was mostly shit. But I saw 'em. And I saw 'em in a large well-equipped theatre as they were meant to be seen. (And I was thankful the pre-show, which lasted about 15 minutes, gave the kids up front opportunity to settle themselves). So I have an informed opinion about them. AND I can still hit the city any time I want and see a play.

      The world throws enough obstacles in the way of our enjoying our existence as it is. Why should I start self-imposing even more (and making myself an insufferable boor in snobs clothing in the process)? I guess it's that I'm neither an elitist nor a masochist. Or perhaps it's simply because I love cinema. Either way, I've won.

      --
      - I am made of meat.
  81. Old Book by strider(+corinth+) · · Score: 4, Informative

    Anybody read Splinter of the Mind's Eye? This plot seems to borrow fairly heavily from it. Its initial publication was after A New Hope and prior to Empire. Chances are Lucas didn't (and won't) use large portions of the plot from that book as the basis of the next movie. Also, I was pretty young then, but I'm pretty sure "genetic engineering" wasn't a household term in 1983.

    --

    Love justice; desire mercy.
    1. Re:Old Book by Reziac · · Score: 1

      Matter of fact, yes... I have a first-edition paperback. It's a middling-terrible book, where everyone behaves somewhat to completely out of character, whilst doing a Standard Fantasy Quest. IOW, about what I'd expect from what I suspect started as a rough story treatment by George, fleshed out by A.D.Foster (who is prolific enough, and can be fun if you're in the mood for fluff, but is a rather sloppy writer).

      "Genetic engineering" had been around as a SF term for a long time already, back into the 1950s I think. High school kids already knew the term in the early 1970s (that would be me :)

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
  82. Porn?? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Maybe it's just me but i read that title wrong..

    Although some good porn would definetly help the series..

    and seeing JAR JAR die..

  83. Read the storyline....something jumps out at me... by StressGuy · · Score: 1

    If Kenobi was the last Jedi, what happened to Yoda? Seems that him making it to Dagoba has to be in the storyline somewhere.

    --
    A goal is a dream with a deadline
  84. Votes For The "New Jedi Order" Series To Film? by CokoBWare · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Would I get a show of hands who believes that an adapted version of the "New Jedi Order" novel series might be a good trilogy to film and produce for the fans? I think they could probably get all the old actors from Episodes 4,5,6 to play characters that are actually pretty close in age now to the characters to the books. Just seeing the Yuuhzan Vong and the new Jedi's trading blows with all the intrigue going on... I think there is enough story material to do a trilogy of sorts. Hell it might even redeem Lucas if he wrote a crappy Episode 3.

    1. Re:Votes For The "New Jedi Order" Series To Film? by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      Would I get a show of hands who believes that an adapted version of the "New Jedi Order" novel series might be a good trilogy to film and produce for the fans? I think they could probably get all the old actors from Episodes 4,5,6 to play characters that are actually pretty close in age now to the characters to the books. Just seeing the Yuuhzan Vong and the new Jedi's trading blows with all the intrigue going on... I think there is enough story material to do a trilogy of sorts. Hell it might even redeem Lucas if he wrote a crappy Episode 3.

      Screw that, let's see the Timothy Vaugn series that starts with Heir to the Empire. They can get Brendan Frasier as Han Solo and that chick he played with in The Mummy as Leia. Leonardo deCrappio would be fine for Luke, but they should really try to get a good actor this time. No idea who'd play Lando, though. Other than that, and a few costumes, they won't *need* any of the original characters. It's all new and really really good, and there's no way Lucas could screw it up! NO WAY!

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    2. Re:Votes For The "New Jedi Order" Series To Film? by kalidasa · · Score: 1

      "That chick he played with in The Mummy" is Rachel Weisz. She has far better things to do than to do a film version of Heir to the Empire.

    3. Re:Votes For The "New Jedi Order" Series To Film? by mabhatter654 · · Score: 1
      Only when Lucas is done milking the cow can the really cool stuff come out!

      There was rumor on one of the Offical sites that an "extended Universe" character may make it on-screen in EP3....Thrawn anyone? We know he's responsible for wiping out a large group of Masters. And his success would be a fitting opposite to the jedi...cold, cruel logic and machinery over the living force.

      But yeah, the current novels are lightyears ahead of the tripe Lucas is pushing! Frankly, I think SciFi should pick up the novel rights as a series and work their way thru them after EP3. I'd be keen on mixed-media though, rather than trying to do one "series" Season long Mini-series like "taken" really can show what SciFi can do while not letting the show get canned for loosing in the first week. They got 1 full season out of only one set of shooting, ran it all at once [and repeated it often] so it would build up the hype, and of course now can cut it up into hour episodes and air it often. That would be a good model for any future Star Wars series...grab a section of novels and fire the whole story out right away. I would like to see mixed media too...some anime, some CG, maybe even [re]invent shorts and other things that "normal" franchies can't do.

  85. the real story by pbrinich · · Score: 0

    Anakin: Is that a lightsaber in your pocket of are you just happy to see me?

    Sidious: Oh, I have always want you to come to the dark side.

    Anakin: Oh, how...arousing..

  86. Great. 9 feet of footage in the can! by blair1q · · Score: 0

    Now they can get on with the other million feet of Jar-Jar binks saving the galaxy.

  87. I know you want it... Natalie Portman Reloaded! by naztafari · · Score: 2, Interesting

    In Episode III, Padme realizes that Anakin is a major dork. The horror of the realization makes her break free of Lucas's stupid scripting...

    As a side effect of the awakening, a glitch in the system creates a clone army of Natalie Portmans! Woohoo! Any excuse for a clone army of Natalie Portmans!!!

    Whatever. Here boys, enjoy. Took me weeks to come up with the Algorithms. Please be kind to my server

    Natalie Portman Reloaded! (Java Applet Animation)
    Natalie Portman Reloaded! (Java Applet Animation, lo-res text render version)
    Natalie Portman Reloaded! (zoomed in text render still with depth)

    Comments are welcome at ghost@object404.com. So are job offers. Stupid #%!@% Tech bust...

    Seriously though, this bloke at that message board seems to be making good progress on creating a clone army of Natalie Portmans! Go CGI-render guy!

  88. Slashdotted Text File? by feidaykin · · Score: 0, Redundant
    "The web site you are trying to access has exceeded its allocated data transfer."

    Excuse me... did we just Slashdot a text file? I think this might be some sort of new record! Anyone out there keeping score?

    Or perhaps Geocities has a very low bandwidth limit for its accounts. Actually, I'm pretty sure it does, when you figure in the amount of people that don't even try to RTFA.

    --

    "To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit." -Stephen Hawking

  89. Han shot first and you know it! by Stradenko · · Score: 1

    So don't be trollin'.

  90. Waiting for the remake, in 20 years or so by RobertB-DC · · Score: 1

    The original trilogy rocked. The new trilogy sucked, at least the first two thirds. Great story, crappy writing. "Crappy", in this sense, may or may not mean "better than average but not up to Star Wars standards".

    I'm looking forward to the day, maybe 20 or 30 years from now, when some studio finally buys the rights off of Lucas' estate, and remakes parts I-III with a real screenwriter. That may happen about the time they release parts IV-VI in their original format, without the stupid additions that changed *them* from good movies to special effects showcases with incidental characters and plot.

    Just because Lucas wanted to evoke the sense of wonder of the pulp sci-fi thrillers of the '50s, doesn't mean he should also employ their lame dialog and plot contrivances. [Insert Darth Maul and/or Jar Jar rant here]

    --
    Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
  91. I hope by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    That this movie will be good. Hell the past two sucked.

    Flame me down man, but the truth always hurts.

  92. Some signal to go with the noise... by jafuser · · Score: 2, Informative

    A short animated series on Cartoon Network: Star Wars: Clone Wars on Cartoon Network

    Here's a picture of Anakin/Vader in Episode III.

    Finally, if you're into minor spoilers, head over to the IMDB record for Episode III, and you might recognize some interesting character names in the cast list...

    --
    Please consider making an automatic monthly recurring donation to the EFF
    1. Re:Some signal to go with the noise... by mechugena · · Score: 1

      KIT FISTO???? Makes me wonder about some of the plot line now...

    2. Re:Some signal to go with the noise... by realfake · · Score: 1

      Not to mention Po Nudo.

    3. Re:Some signal to go with the noise... by Hecubas · · Score: 1

      Finally, if you're into minor spoilers, head over to the IMDB record for Episode III, and you might recognize some interesting character names in the cast list...

      Chewie, is that you?

      Sweet!!

      --
      hecubas

      --
      Hecubas
  93. Someone is smoking crack here by Angst+Badger · · Score: 1

    Who in their right mind would Slashdot a GeoCities site? Criminy, I can do that with a single copy of lynx on a 286.

    --
    Proud member of the Weirdo-American community.
  94. Hmmmmm... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I always thought that Vader's assistance in the building of the Empire was where the balance came from. In watching the first couple of episodes, we see that the Republic, while in its decaying final years, has enjoyed peace for some time, since the Sith were wiped out. Now, the Sith become the ones in power, wiping out the Jedi, thus giving the dark side it's time, or balancing it out. Too weird?

  95. A suggestion which costs BUX! by titzandkunt · · Score: 1


    " Does anyone have any bandwith available that could make an automated mirror for Slashdot stories?"

    Of course they do, but that kind o' burst bandwidth costs $$$.

    Who's paying?

    Robust, distributed & effectively load-balaced hosting

    T&K

    --
    Political language ... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable...
  96. there's no way by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    there's no way you're going to get me to waste another penny on a Star Wars, Star Trek, James Bond, or Batman sequel or prequel movie. They just suck more and more with each release.

    The only sequels I'm going to watch from now on are sequels like "Backdoor Babes 7"

  97. As if... by rednacid · · Score: 2, Funny

    Dear Star Wars fans. The last two Star Wars movies made me realize that I am unable to write a good script. Hence the forthcoming movie "Star Wars III - the Tatooine Lightsabre massacre" will feature no script whatsoever, just John Williams music, your favourite stars and ILM special effects. After all, this is what we do best. -- George Lucas

  98. I know what will get me interrested. by Captain+Rotundo · · Score: 1

    If at least one day of the 18 month long post production involves a large barrel full of kersene, all known prints of episode 2 and a match.

    Please god after seeing episode 2 I don;t know if I could survive another dose. Although I now know what "Plan 9 From Outer Space" could have been with a budget. Oh, wait Plan 9 had the bad writing, but the acting was MUCH better.....

  99. Big deal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    EVERYONE DIES.. geez.. what's the big secret?!? A little Anakin / Amidala nookie, then guess what? BLOODY MAYHEM!

  100. A great Star Wars show (slightly OT) by bug-eyed+monster · · Score: 1

    If you're a Star Wars fan and you ever get the chance, go see this show: One Man Star Wars Trilogy. It's simply fantastic.

  101. Hmmmmmm... by cyranoVR · · Score: 1

    Point taken!

  102. No... by TheAwfulTruth · · Score: 1

    Went to see Eps 1. Was so horribly dissapointed I never went to see 2. Not seen the DVD either. (Is it out even?) Everyone says 2 was far worse than 1. Well I for one have no current plans to see 3 at all unless I'm stuck sick at home and it's being shown on Scifi and the remote is broken.

    The new films have ruined my memory of the first three, which unfortunately after a great start were also rocketing in to the ground fast. And is seems that continuing the RL time sequence, each one of these is also rocketing (now completely unground) to hell.

    Who knows, maybe 3 will actually be great, would make a nice finish to the series I guess. But that won't be known till it's released...

    --
    Contrary to popular belief, coding is not all free blow-jobs and beer. Those things cost MONEY!
    1. Re:No... by BiggerBoat · · Score: 1

      "Everyone says 2 was far worse than 1."

      Not everyone. I, for one, liked 2 a lot more than 1. It doesn't really live up to the original trilogy, but I definitely thought it was a step up from Episode I.

  103. Same here by metamatic · · Score: 1

    Episode I was such a turkey you could have carved it up for Thanksgiving. I didn't even bother to rent Episode II.

    It's sad that George Lucas, who gave us the truly brilliant THX-1138, has devolved from great artist to talentless hack.

    --
    GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
    1. Re:Same here by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      It's sad that George Lucas, who gave us the truly brilliant THX-1138, has devolved from great artist to talentless hack.

      What, you really thought he was talented to begin with? Lol. He just stopped taking credit for other peoples' work, did the right thing, and started doing his own work with full responsibility for it. Now we see that the emporer has no clothes...

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    2. Re:Same here by Reziac · · Score: 1

      More like, this is what happens when George gets to do exactly as George pleases, with no one else helping steer the ship. Remember he had quite a well-known and SF-experienced crew (writers, directors) in the earlier films, but has had total control over Ep1 and Ep2.

      The original Star Wars sucked me into the theatre over 30 times, plus I own two sets of official videotapes and a bunch of related collector junk. Empire got my money 3 times. Jedi got me once. I eyed Ep1 from a safe distance, and based on the official previews, decided it was all thunder and no lightning, so didn't go see it at all. And I felt no interest in Ep2 whatsoever. Draw your own conclusions.

      And no, it's not that I was a green kid at the time, nor that I've "outgrown" the genre -- Star Wars debuted on my 22nd birthday, and character-driven space opera was and is still my SF venue of choice. It's that the franchise has become a kiddies cartoon and pointless-CGI fest, with a dramatic lack of substance.

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
    3. Re:Same here by Reziac · · Score: 1

      Pretty much what I said (see my other reply in this thread). I saw THX-1138 when it was fairly new.. and lordy, that's one dull film. Interesting sets, concept works, and given the lack of budget one can forgive a certain rawness and the amazingly bad lighting -- but it's monotonous to the point that it PLODS. It's not a whole story, it's a *vignette*, stretched to the breaking point.

      And then I saw American Grafitti .. and that's one of the dullest, most repetitive, UN-insightful films I've ever had to manfully stay awake through. One good scene near the end is probably what most people remember when they think of it as "great"... but it took forever to get there.

      At that point, I began having my own suspicions about how much of Star Wars' success was George's "talent" and how much was that he was standing on the shoulders of giants. The suspicion was enhanced when I read some of Lucas' escaped original Star Wars story treatments -- gods, those are shallow; any 14 year old can write better stuff. Even *Alan Dean Foster* can write better stuff. Whoops, we all know who ghost-wrote the first Star Wars novel, don't we? :)

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
  104. Balance? by osguru · · Score: 1

    I never understood the balance, it is...

    1) Anakin brings back balance by turning to the darkside, and creating a level playing field for dark vs. light (his massive power against all the jedi).

    2) The force is brought back into balance because the whole time it was out of balance with Vader being the icing on the cake, and got back into balance because the good guys finally got their shit together. (with a case of poetic justice was led by his son)

  105. Re:"Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got " by katarac · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Hmmmm....

    The first three SW movies = Good

    The Indiana Jones movies = Good

    The most recent 2 SW movies = Bad

    Let's cut the B.S. here folks. We all know that Harrison Ford is what made all the "Good" movies above as "Good" as they are. It's no wonder Lucas got jealous and castrated Solo's BadAssness in the "Remastered" movies by having Greedo shoot first.

  106. Droid question by nagora · · Score: 1
    As I mentioned in an earlier post, there's no problem with the 'droids not recognizing Vader, Luke, etc. The bigger question is why Vader doesn't recognize them? But, there are lots of similar droids and he might only make the connection if they were together.

    So: does Vader ever actually see R2D2 and C3PO together in episodes IV to VI? I can't remember.

    TWW

    --
    "Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
    1. Re:Droid question by SithLordOfLanc · · Score: 0

      Interesting theory. I had wondered that as well. Now that you've actually made me think about it; I'm pretty sure that not only did Vader never see them together, but their numbers weren't even spoken around him.

    2. Re:Droid question by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 3, Informative

      So: does Vader ever actually see R2D2 and C3PO together in episodes IV to VI? I can't remember.

      Yes, and no. He may have seen them go to the Millenium Falcon in Episode IV, but he was also fighting ObiWan at the moment. He may have spied them on the moon of Endor where he picked up Luke, but I don't think he spent any time spying on them. The only times in Episode V that the droids were together were at the beginning, before Vader even showed up on Hoth (He might've caught a glimpse of 3PO running up the ramp to the Falcon) but split up soon afterward. Later on, they hooked up again, in Bespin, but by then Vader was trying to kick his son's ass.

      There are lots of similar droids, true. I don't think he would've recognized R2D2 except by temperament, but he never had an opportunity to observe artoo's temperament. I think he would have recognized threepio, though, since he was looking basically the same as he had in Episode II. However, he didn't get much exposure to threepio. Remember that when he took everyone prisoner, threepio had been blown to bits. Then he saw threepio strapped to Chewie's back, but still in pieces.

      I think that Lucas wouldn't have done what he did with the droids if it were actually possible for Vader to have interacted with them in the other movies. That would have been a plot hole even he couldn't fill with BS.

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    3. Re:Droid question by cmpalmer · · Score: 1

      Yes, but he could go back and add their gushy reunion scene into Eps. 4, 5, or 6 when he releases the Super-Special Jumbo Sized Editions on DVD.

      --
      -- stream of did I lock the front door consciousness
    4. Re:Droid question by wayne606 · · Score: 1

      Why would Vader care about the droids anyway? Some dopey mechanical friends from his childhood - they were probably beneath his notice by Episodes 4-6. Maybe he thought "Hmm, I guess Obi-Wan has my old droids. Whatever." But we couldn't exactly read the thoughtful look on his face when that occurred to him.

    5. Re:Droid question by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 1

      Why would Vader care about the droids anyway? Some dopey mechanical friends from his childhood - they were probably beneath his notice by Episodes 4-6. Maybe he thought "Hmm, I guess Obi-Wan has my old droids. Whatever." But we couldn't exactly read the thoughtful look on his face when that occurred to him.

      Well, if Lucas had planned it properly from the beginning, seeing threepio and r2d2 could have contributed to the drama of Vader turning back to the light side.

      But since he didn't do that, here are some other reasons he might care (and they're optional, so Lucas can ignore them if he wants):

      1. Any potentially diabolical kid builds backdoors into his droids to allow him to take control of them. Vader could exploit them and have threepio assassinate/capture Luke Skywalker.
      2. Any potentially diabolical kid puts a homing device in his droids that is detectable only by the kid, therefore he could have located the rebel base in Episode IV just because he knew threepio was on board. (For this to hold true, the rebels would have to find the beacon after the battle of the death star and remove it, or they might possibly remove it sometime between Ep IV and V)
      3. If he had either a backdoor or a homing beacon, in Episode V, while the rebels were captive at Bespin, he could have exploited it somehow to make Threepio either a psychotic assassin among the rebels, or to make Threepio work to help the Empire to track down the rebel fleet.

      There are probably other ways Anakin's relationship with the droids could be exploited, but mostly only with Threepio. He didn't do much with r2d2. On the other hand, had he recognized r2d2 at some point, we could be awarded with a flashback scene to his wedding or something like that, lending to the drama of his ultimate reconversion.

      I should point out that it may not be necessary for the droids to have their memories' erased. If they don't know that Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, then they have nothing to reveal to Luke Skywalker. Furthermore, while Luke tended to take the droids more seriously than other humans did, he still considered them second-class citizens and was ot likely to have stumbled across the information in Threepio. Conversely, threepio could just blurt something out about Anakin sometime during Episode V, noting how Vader did something that reminded him of his maker, foreshadowing the announcement that Vader == Anakin Skywalker who is LUke's father. This could be added simply, I'll bet. Conversely, r2d2 could use this information in a tactical fashion against Vader to give the Rebels some sort of advantage, and we could wind up with a situation where the top rebel leaders knew about Vader and Luke at the start of Episode V (even Leia), but Luke didn't know. This could be done without adding any footage that they don't already have, but they would have to be pretty careful about it, and it would totally change the dynamics of the Empire Strikes Back, and might well prompt Lucas to deal with The Fanatics Strike Back.

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    6. Re:Droid question by wayne606 · · Score: 1

      I don't know if there's much point to adding more foreshadowing to episodes 4-6. I guess when my 3 year old gets old enough to watch Star Wars (since the secret is already out of the bag for everybody older) there will be episodes 1-6 available on DVD and he'll just watch them straight through, and there will be no suspense about who Luke's father is. In any case they should have numbered the first ones episodes 1-3 anyway since even though they are 4-6 chronologically, they come first in a dramatic sense and should be watched first by any newcomer.

  107. Alan Dean Foster and Old Story Lines - Crystals? by Perlandria · · Score: 1

    Didn't the Enhancing Crystal thing already get done (badly)?
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det ail/-/0345 320239/103-8566168-9878267?v=glance
    I can remember reading this. The amount of revisionist history in the Star Wars universe is mind boggling.

  108. Bad Link correction Re:Alan Dean Foster and by Perlandria · · Score: 1

    Alan Dean Foster
    Splinter of The Mind's Eye
    1978
    Information to be found such places as:
    http://www.geocities.com/starwarsnovels/Splin ter_o f_the_Minds_Eye.htm

  109. George is now freed up to do.... by buckeyeguy · · Score: 1
    "Howard the Duck 2".

    (Hey, Leah Thompson's a bit older now, but I'd still quack for her. And I'd bet the duck is still available too.)

    --
    I'd have a personalized plate on my car, but "toxic bachelor" won't fit into 7 letters.
  110. Re:"Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got " by the+Man+in+Black · · Score: 1

    Hmm.

    So you're saying that all the movie where George Lucas was NOT the director were good?

    IMDb.com

    Yeah, I can agree with that.

  111. Petition by Amomynos+Coward · · Score: 1

    Currently 98,988 has signed the "Put The Star Wars Kid in Episode III"-petition.

    http://www.petitiononline.com/Ghyslain/petition.ht ml

  112. Google cached version by gaber1187 · · Score: 1
  113. "Those peoples are Keelers! KEELERS!" by mcmonkey · · Score: 1
    Jesus is the new Messiah[...]on a Stick

    LOL! You just have to imagine that with the Jose Jalapeno accent. Classic.

  114. Why can't we have "Star Peace"? by scottennis · · Score: 1

    I think that someone should propose legislation that makes it illegal for film makers to create triple-trilogies.

    It should probably be a capitol offence. Or, the perpetrator should be put in a cell with an inmate who believes he's Jar-Jar Binks.

    But seriously, screw Lucas.

  115. Slashdot spoiler... by jea6 · · Score: 1

    1) Post mini-rant against comment-based meta-moderator. (Funny)
    2) Follow-up with a generalized complaint of stupid moderation (Informative, Insightful)
    3) ??? (Don't forget that step)
    4) Profit | Priceless (Depending on your mood).

    --

    sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  116. No Doku! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This is a Fake. Considering George Lucas previous way of writing, I would say he usually follows too many characters, and it sounds not like him to leave Dooku out of the picture, especially after the role he played. Come on, if he returned JarJar, I would expect that at least he would mention Dooku!

  117. will any of the new plot explain by circletimessquare · · Score: 1
    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  118. Google Cache of the text file by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    http://216.239.57.104/search?q=cache:EjlFNploWcoJ: www.geocities.com/area51/Vault/2371/episodeIII.txt +episodeIII.txt&hl=en&start=3&ie=UTF-8

  119. Re:Political Correctness? by Mikeytsi · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I'm just dying to know -- how is it that "political correctness" has spoiled Star Wars in particular?

    Greedo shooting first.

    'Nuff said.

    --
    I've been called a "Fucking Dick" by better people than you.
  120. Wouldn't she have to... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    confront her father before she can become a Jedi? I always thought that was rather silly of Yoda to tell Luke that.

    "It was never a requirement before!"
    "Hates the man I do, kill him you must, or never Jedi shall you be! Nyah!"

  121. what an idiot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    what kind of a fucking, flaming retarded idiot links to a fucking geocities page?
    jeezzz

  122. first monty python, now star wars! by geekoid · · Score: 1

    whats is this; a news for nerds site, and stuff that matters to said nerds?

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  123. Principal photography... by Apostata · · Score: 1

    When there's 18 months of post ahead of you, I don't see how principal photography has any meaning. Star Wars is barely worth considering as 'live-action' any more. Mind you, Lucas is barely worth considering as 'a director'.

    I'd prefer waiting for "Howard The Duck II: Keep On Quacking".

    --

    This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. - Dorothy Parker
    1. Re:Principal photography... by cmpalmer · · Score: 4, Funny

      I keep imagining George Lucas filming Episode III, all alone in a huge room with blue walls (like the prison in THX-1138, but blue), panning his super digital camera around and talking to himself. Then, when he gets a few hundred hours of footage, he hands it over to ILM and tells them to add the special effects.

      --
      -- stream of did I lock the front door consciousness
    2. Re:Principal photography... by Apostata · · Score: 1

      LOL...exactly what I thought.

      Can't wait for the behind-the-blue-screen footage on the DVD...probably shots of him nervously writing the next scene in a toilet stall, fearful that anyone will find out that he's actually making it all up as he goes along.

      --

      This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. - Dorothy Parker
  124. Yep. by superdan2k · · Score: 1

    And principal acting and scriptwriting will take place in 2053 when Jerry Bruckheimer III decides to "remake the classics for a new audience"...

    --
    blog |
  125. Why even listen? by focitrixilous+P · · Score: 1

    It's a text file, with worse writing then the other star wars films. This is slashdot. We're geeks. We will see it opening night dressed as Natalie Po... I mean Darth Vader. This can't be true. You will disregard all facts from Geocities, for they are lies.
    I'll see you there, opening day, 12:01 AM. Bring caffine, the form its in doesn't matter. I'll probably be there for the showing of all 6 films in order, as the marketing this would generate would be a lot bigger then most commercials.
    By the way, Geocities also got a hold of a leaked, unedited lightsaber battle. One person managed to download it before the transfer peaked. They mirrored it here.

    --
    SAILING MISHAP
  126. Big Deal. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A week of green screening actors is not exactly Cecil B. DeMille.

    1. Re:Big Deal. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Blue screens. BLUE SCREENS. BLUE fucking screens! Get it right.

  127. Galactic Gasbag by bluethundr · · Score: 1

    Yeah, but I figured that the blatant comparisons to Jesus Christ would be enough ego-tripping for Lucas.

    Then again, that only offended a handful of Christians. Maybe he's thinking bigger now, so he's throwing Moses into the mix to get the Jews and Muslims pissed too.

    >
    According to this article in Salon Lucas stated for Time magazine in 1977 that Star Wars was "just for fun". But as the movie became a pop culture milestone, he began dropping Joseph Campbell's name (in the author of the Salon articles supposition) to lend the movie a bit more "legitamacy".

    The article also supposes that Campbell himself (who was to that point a somewhat obscure Sarah Lawrency academic) was pleased as punch to have his name linked to the Hollywood blockbuster. Certainly couldn't hurt the sales of some of his books, now could it?

    Ever since then Lucas has been shamelessly borrowing these grand mythological archetypes. Though in the case of "the immaculate conception" yes, Jesus was one of the more obvious choices. But this motif has run through many different cultures over the centuries, not just referring our homeboy J.C.

    --
    Quod scripsi, scripsi.
    1. Re:Galactic Gasbag by cyberon22 · · Score: 1
      Stephen Hart would be more credible on film if he actually knew anything about it....
      "Coruscant, the world-girdling capital city of Lucas' galactic republic, is a direct steal of Trantor, the planet-wide megalopolis in Isaac Asimov's "Foundation" novels"
      If his complaint is of the "we've already had a film with a city/desert/water planet" sort, it's just silly. Moreover, it suggests Hart doesn't actually understand what Lucas is doing, such as why we continually get things like military forces being associated with water. If he is trying to argue that Lucas' sci-fi references are ad hoc.... he is just dead wrong. The primary film reference for Coruscant (there are several direct visual quotations) is to Fritz Lang's Metropolis, which predated Asimov's work by about two decades. Any sci-fi buff should pick right up on this, if only because the comparisons are so legion: Metropolis is also a story of father-son conflict with heavy themes of human mechanization, etc.

      Hart fails to pick up on this or any of the other references (Blade Runner, Ben Hur, the Searchers, etc), but I'd suggest the problem lies in his ability to read films, not Lucas' ability to make them.

  128. Fall of the Republic? ...Discredited eons ago... by The+Lynxpro · · Score: 1

    I cannot believe anyone is taking that script seriously. The only thing the author nailed was that the StormTroopers are/were clones. I remembered reading a big synopsis CineScape Magazine did on the prequels before Episode I hit the screen, based heavily upon the *Fall of the Republic* treatment. They went into great detail that StormTroopers were clones and even printed an illustration of a StormTrooper assembly line with a LucasFilm copyright notice underneath it. I thought it was a stupid idea but then Episode II then confirmed it. My only hope is that Anakin does indeed fall into a volcanic pit like Lucas said he would back in 1979. Its great symbolism, much like the "Vader in Flames" crew patch during the filming of ESB was...

    --
    "Right now, somewhere in this world, Scott Baio is plowing a woman he doesn't love," - Peter Griffin, *Family Guy*
  129. Re:"Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got " by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

    Absolutely. Harrison Ford is, IMO, what made Star Wars what it was. Episode II was decent, but it still fell as short as a dwarf on a model runway.

    One trend I'm noticing in the new trilogy is that Lucas is trying to throw "surprises" into the mix to keep us old fans interested. In Episode I, there was a "virgin birth", in Episode II, we find out that the Empire didn't conquor the Repblic, but the Republic became the Empire through osmosis. The second of these two was an interesting plot twist, because it pitted people against people that -seemed- to be on their side, and vice versa.

    The third prequel is bound to have the same kind of thing. Half of me is hoping for some 'Corellian trader' to save the day. This 'trader' would be played by Harrison Ford (why not, they had Jango Fett, didn't they?), and would be none other than Han Solo's father (or maybe Lando's father, who knows - Lando was quite the amiable character, too).

    Having Han's father do some heroic deed would set the precident for when Han Solo decides to turn around and help out the rebellion, saving Luke's ass - that little tidbit wasn't clearly explained in Ep IV, and it's what tends to be considered a loose string.

    --
    ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
  130. STAW WARS KID... by Delron+Da+Thugg · · Score: 0

    The Star Wars Kid should definitely be in Episode 3... He could be Chris Farlius the Hutt, adopted son of Jabba. Once he begins developing his training, Palpatine could sense the disturbance to the force his enormous mass will cause, and finally discover the key to his ultimate weapon...by SWK being the ultra dense core of the Death Star he had been searching for.

  131. Why are droids names spelled out? by kiddailey · · Score: 1

    Uh...

    "watchful sensors of Artoo Detoo and See Threepio, while Bail"

    Why are the names spelled out in the so-called script? Am I just a clueless Star Wars newb or does "See Threepio" look absolutely stupid to anyone else?

    1. Re:Why are droids names spelled out? by Hassman · · Score: 1

      They are always spelled out in the books and what not. The droids are suppose to personify humans, not machines.

      --
      -Mark
      Dovie'andi se tovya sagain.
  132. Re:Offshoring: I finally did it by Delron+Da+Thugg · · Score: 0

    "Tata Consultancy Services is a bigger company than General Motors. I could not get him to state whether this is as a measure of revenues or in terms of headcount." He meant in terms of polution emitted into the environment. With all those curry eating stinkers, they drop more noxious fumes into the atmosphere than the entire industrialized nations combined.

  133. Arrgh! Not AGAIN! by Jugalator · · Score: 1

    Although denied by ILM, here is a quick taste of what the story for episode III might be like (either taken from Lucas' journal in 1983, or just a fake from an insider way back then).

    NOOO! That link is FAKE FAKE FAKE. Excuse me if I get worked up about it, but it's mentioned basically everywhere you look for Star Wars scripts. Gets annoying after a while.

    It's the most well-known fake script in the Star Wars trilogies.

    *sigh*

    A quick look in Google Groups would have helped to sort that out before you had to confuse others with a totally, 100%, bogus script. :-P

    --
    Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
    1. Re:Arrgh! Not AGAIN! by Reziac · · Score: 1

      Actually, no. I have one of the studio photocopies (how stuff was handled back then) of "Fall of the Republic". It was indeed a real story treatment, but was never "official":

      Word around at the time (speaking as one who was involved in SW fandom from the beginning, so this is not diluted by generations of usenet) was that it was submitted as a spec script under contract (meaning it couldn't be submitted elsewhere even if it was rejected, nor could it be discussed outside of the studio), but LucasFilm decided not to do anything with it.

      Normally, at that point it would have been consigned to the dustbin and forgotten, but SW fandom being as rabid as it was, it got leaked (or more likely, pilfered from the studio's trash, that being where most script copies come from; you can buy scripts for just about any production from shops that specialise in this dumpster fodder).

      Somehow this perfectly ordinary-for-a-studio event (the spec story treatment or spec script, and the dumpster-diving rescue) got expanded to the current mythology, and concomitantly generated a matching set of disclaimers and denials.

      So yes, "Fall of the Republic" is real, not a hoax. But no, it was never in the chain of Star Wars scripts.

      --
      ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
  134. Re:"Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got " by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I think you missed the part (if you click on the title of a movie and look at the top of that page) where it says "Director: George Lucas"...

    The problem is more in the people helping him write the scripts than in the directing. And people keep boosting his ego around him instead of criticizing things that need it.

    I think there's just too much going on in the latest movies to allow characters to grow enough. They're all more one-dimensional than even the original trilogy characters were.

  135. Re:"Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got " by Drakin · · Score: 1

    Actually, the Repiblic becoming the Empire through osmosis isn't the surprise.

    It was the clones, fighting for the Republic, at the sides of Jedi.

    The only other referances in the movies about the clone wars seems to lead one to beleive that clones are a bad thing, which is reenforced by the expanded universes novels...

    (Of course, Ep1 & Ep2 pretty much shot holes into Timothy Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy... between the implications of clones, and the existance of a Republic war fleet that predates the clone wars...)

  136. Its an awful feeling... by SpaceTaxi · · Score: 1

    ... knowing that Episode III is probably going to suck.

    I remember hearing rumours of the extra episodes back when the first movies were coming out. It was something I was hoping/looking forward to for over 20 years.

    The first movie starts out promising and has its moments, but is overwhelmed by disappointments that can be sumed up in two words: Jar Jar.

    The second movie exceeded the first in its banality. Acting was so bad that I was looking for (wishing for) Crow and Tom Servo to popup in the lower right corner of the screen. The movie a complete farse upon itself.

    And that is why I cringe whenever I hear talk of Episode III. After loving IV-VI and 20 years of longing for more, its been a huge and utter disappointment.

    May the Farse be with you!

    P.S. Of course, this all makes you appreciate Peter Jackson all the more.

  137. Re:smart by I+Like+Swords!!! · · Score: 1

    Correction: "About as sharp as a pound of wet leather."

    --
    .unsigged
  138. Some Episode Three Spoilers For You by Farley+Mullet · · Score: 1

    5 Episode 3 Spoilers

    1. Annikin goes over to the Dark Side and becomes Darth Vader
    2. All the Jedi except Yoda and Obi Wan get killed
    3. Annikin has two kids, Luke and Leia
    4. The Republic falls and becomes an Empire
    5. Senator Palpaptane becomes the Emperor
  139. Re:"Indiana Jones" says that Lucas has still got " by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

    Hrm. I odn't recall the specifics about Zahn's Thrawn trilogy, and what the implications of clones and a republic war fleed would do to it. I might have to find those books again, I recall them being pretty decent.

    --
    ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
  140. It might be good because... by thepacketmaster · · Score: 1
    We all had some problems with Jar-Jar in the first episode. He was minimized in the second episode and IMDB doesn't even list Jar-Jar in the credits for the third episode.

    Now, with the second episode we were all exposed to the horribly inexperienced acting of Hayden Christensen. If the outline of the leaked story is true, Hayden Christensen will be out of the movie within the first 15 minutes, as Anakin is encased in the armour of Darth Vader.

    On another note, I like how the story line ties in with the book "Splinter of the Mind's Eye", which details when Luke and Leia come upon the Kaiburr crystal. (The book takes place between episode IV and V.)

    --

    --

    Luck is just skill you didn't know you had.

  141. Re:For love of money by Jonah+Hex · · Score: 1
    Not to get into the nit picking, but your argument, containing some trivia and some truth, is itself fallacious.
    *Of note is that therobot 4-LOM stood for "For love of Money". And where money is the motivating factor, I don't think we can entirely rule out the last trilogy ever being made.
    Although Lucas himself probably won't do the last three, I'm sure he'll have someone do them, thereby enriching himself once again.
    The name was developed as an acronym of sorts for: "for love of money," quite fitting for a bounty hunter.
    This is simple creative wordplay by the writer, especially helpful in a situation where you've already had to think up a bunch of weird droid names. I won't say he's not motivated by money, of course he is, but drawing the connection between an aptly named droid and such money motivation doesn't work.

    Jonah Hex
  142. Resisting Ep3 by Baron_Yam · · Score: 1

    Sadly, I didn't want to see II, but my wife insisted... and she still hasn't learned and insists we will be going to Episode III as well.

  143. And next month... by Snaller · · Score: 1

    ... they'll start working on the script!

    --
    If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
  144. Re:Read the storyline....something jumps out at me by Reziac · · Score: 1

    What, you expected continuity?? You insensitive clod!!

    --
    ~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
  145. Star Wars III Business Plan by jhylkema · · Score: 1

    1. Anakin bangs Queen Amidala (I'd pay for^H^H^H to see that.)
    2. Anakin turns to the dark side, Queen Amidala begats Luke and Leia.
    3. ????
    4. PROFIT!

    In Soviet Russia, Anakin bangs YOU!

  146. Stupid Script (Mod Plus 5 - funny!). by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Jhantor - Trantor ?
    Was this guy even trying to be serious? Duh!

    "I was engulfed in lava!"
    "Lava?"
    "I got better..."

    "He's deep-fried, master!"
    "Bring the herbs and spices!"

    Cabin boy???? (The dirty little nipper!)

    Break the princess out of the cell-block? Wow! How original? Good thing her water doesn't break in a garbage compactor!

    Cue the blockade running! Dogfights?

  147. Hmm so anyone has a mirror? by DarkLox · · Score: 1

    Seems like /. has taken over another site. Wondering if anyone has a mirror to that .txt anywhere.

    --
    Momma told me that sigs are for the devil
  148. Fool me once by JW+Troll · · Score: 1

    Shame on you, Georgey!

    but fool me twice (and who wasn't fooled by the vain hope that Attack of the Cloned Plot was any better than Phantom Plot?) and that's SHAME ON ME!

    informal protest vote cast - I shan't be in attendance whenever this mess comes to the theatre near me. George Lucas can suck a dick.

    BTW nice post heading by parent! Couldn't have said it any better. w00t!

    --
    just like the humble blood clot... turboporsche@telus.net
  149. Re:Obligatory Simpsons Reference... by EdmundDantes · · Score: 1

    Homer: Wow, what an ending! Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father! Crowd in queue: Oh, thank you, Mister Blow-the-picture-for-me.

  150. FEH! by dosius · · Score: 1

    Well, as far as I'm concerned:

    VII = Heir to the Empire
    VIII = Dark Force Rising
    IX = The Last Command

    and the Jedi Academy hadn't been formed at that time. I think Leia may have been in training... (She was pregnant and had the twins Jaina and Jacen at that time, IIRC)

    -uso.

    --
    What you hear in the ear, preach from the rooftop Matthew 10.27b
  151. Setting The Seen! by Walabio · · Score: 1

    I agree that Episode I was not the best movie. The trouble was it is, of necessity, prologue. It sets up all subsequent movies.

    Episode II is much better. All of the preamble pays off in Episode II; everything unfolds nicely. The interesting thing about Episode II is that it is salient to the world today:

    "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy, I love the Republic. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated."

    -- Chancellor Palpatine -- after the Republican Senate voted to him emergency-powers for fighting the separatists in Star Wars -- Episode II: Attack of the Clones (Palpatine promises to lay-down this power when the crisis has abated -- Sure! I believe that!)

    "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier ... just as long as I'm the dictator..."

    -- George Walker Bush

    Dubya is busy trying to overthrow this Republic and set up a Fascistic Imperial Power.

  152. MOD PARENT DOWN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I just saw this SAME EXACT TEXT on usenet earlier today!

    Plagarism.