Slashdot Mirror
Large User Groups Cause Spontaneous Greying
tiny69 writes "According to Microsoft, a Person's hair turns grey if there are more than 500 users in a User Group. Supposedly, the grey hair does not affect the functionality of the User Group. Microsoft claims to have a solution to fix the problem. How many people do you know that have hair that has turned grey? This web site has a large collection of links to humorous Microsoft Knowledge Base articles."
This is proof that using MS products is hazardous to your health.
"Why are they spending their time on this instead of fixing security holes???" Though in this case, I'd have to agree with them.
ResidntGeek
My hair would turn grey too if I had to support 500 Windows users.
Actually, the humor value makes these far more useful than most Microsoft Knowledge Base articles....
Help save the critically endangered Blue Iguana
I like this one: Mouse Doesn't Work with MS-DOS Shell
Obviously there are more than 500 users in the group trying to read the Knowledge Base Articles now.....
I get grey hair just thinking about Windows. Is that in the knowledge base?
A musician without the RIAA, is like a fish without a bicycle.
I'll start... I wonder if Microsoft has a Knowledge Base article regarding your server catching fire when you get linked from Slashdot?
Help I'm a rock.
Anyone who can think of a witty comment for this topic is a better man than me. Maybe we could merge japanese anime with Microsofts BSoD. Gotta have blue hair...
His hair isn't gray. It's gone. Supporting Windows also causes baldness.
How many people do you know that have hair that has turned grey?
My granparents to start with, then a couple of old folks in the neighbourhood, and Harrison Ford too..
In other news, Linux gives you a bigger penis.
Myself, I like Calculator Does Not Reliably Subtract Two Numbers in Windows
Then what's the point of using a calculator in the first place?
The headings in the article are "Symptoms" and "Resolution". Why have they made out like this is a bug when it's just a feature?
On first read it seemed to say that larger LUGs cause premature aging ......
Well I think the one I did learn in Epi was that correlation does not imply causation.
I don't think anyone saw it, and it's offtopic as all get out, but it bugs me. I need to hear from other users:
http://http//www.ebay.com
That's a typo I made earlier today. It's not a trick link. View the source if you want. It redirects to microsoft. Seems incredibly slimy and underhanded too. Just curious if anyone else was aware of this. It's not IE specific. It happened to me in Firebird on a Mac.
Karma: Chameleon (mostly due to the fact that you come and go).
From the article, here's how you fix grey hair:
Windows must query for the class type of each group member to assign an icon. This query can take a long time as groups grow in size; this is the reason for the default limit.
You can override this behavior in the registry. To do so, modify the GroupMemberQueryLimit REG_DWORD value in the following registry key:
HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\Directory UI
So...I'll be the first to say it.
You have to edit the freaking registry to change a simple icon's color??
How in the world do you expect the mythical "Joe Sixpack" to manage that? Every time you have a less-than-wizard user poke around in the registry you risk absolute ruin.
Folks, all you need to do is look at stuff like this to know that the MS studies on cost-of-ownership are complete bunk.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:bkF8857KNYkJ: jill.jazzkeyboard.com/qarticles.html+&hl=en&ie=UTF -8
Karma: Chameleon (mostly due to the fact that you come and go).
Um, no, they're really not.
Sampling:
I like geeky humor as much as the next slashdot reader, but many of the "funny "articles aren't even remotely funny- many of them describe some unusual problem, and that's it.
There are a few gems(How to Read the Fucking Manual is amusing in that it's even there), but in general, they REALLY stretched the definition of "funny" on many of these submissions.
Please help metamoderate.
In Technology News Today, Microsoft has announced it's leaving the software industry and decided to use their programmers REAL tallent, Commedy!
We have decided to give back the technology sector to the Real Programers and venture into contenet driven comedy web sites, shoot we already have the Database....
Funny.com look OUT!!
-=Linsys=-
http://www.intrusionsec.com
Obviously they're in preparation to make a lowball offer for Slashdot's library of spoofs. If OSDN refuses, Microsoft'll say, "Fine... we'll do the same stuff in house and blow you guys out of the market".
I think they're trying to appear "cool" and "hip" to younger programmers.
Here's a tip:
The up-and-coming programming generation doesn't find ancient "easter-eggs" cool anymore.
MSFT: You're old. Let it go, it's over. Your jokes aren't funny. Billy's comb-over haircut is the only forward-looking thing you have going.
[hint: Being "natural" is the new trend; "Engineered" people are quickly becoming soo 20th century]
Don't think that a small group of dedicated individuals can't change the world. It's the only thing that ever has.
Who knew Microsoft was so funny and charming!
I bet that customers really appreciate a good sense of humor while they are being bent over the shop-counter.
Don't fall to far in love, though, you're bound to end up with a virus and feeling end-used.
PS: How many systems did Visio PING? Ha, ha, ha, Oh, stop! No really. . . stop.
The site is down already so here is google's cache of the page.: jill.jazzkeyboard.com/qarticles.html+&hl=en
http://216.239.41.104/search?q=cache:bkF8857KNYkJ
Great, a microsoft joke about grey hair and user groups.
Now we'll have to put up with all the linux fanboys sporting freshly died deep dark hair, claiming the latest kernal has made them young.
George Bush + Linux = "I will not let information get in the way of the fight against Windows"
The power of Christ compels thee! SATAN Causes High Memory Utilization in WUSER32
;) Barney Fun on Imagination Island Error Message: Barney Not Found
/windows? Erratic Behavior Occurs If You Create a "Desktop" Folder on the Desktop
Drr... Network Adapter Does Not Work if Unplugged
404
Thank god Mozilla remembers passwords Error Message: Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 Passwords
!!! Explorapedia Nature: Earth Rotates in Wrong Direction
(insert your own quip here) Personalized Start Page Appears Upside Down and Backwards
After installing MS-DOS on a computer system with both MS-DOS and UNIX, your SCO UNIX login sign disappears. - no complaints here UNIX Login Sign Disappears After Installing MS-DOS
MS gets straight to the point Homepub Error Message: Something Is Missing...
Can you hear me now? WD2002: Text Is Typed by Office Assistant Sounds When Microphone Is Turned off or Unplugged
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery Left Mouse Button Click Acts Like Right Mouse Button Click
Hunny I shrunk the kids part 4 MSB Human Body Minimizes When Printing To HP Deskjet
So what happens if you create a Windows folder in
You don't say... ACC2000: Opening and Closing a Form Hundreds of Times Noticeably Affects System Resources
Rim shot please... Julia Child Err Msg: Insufficient Memory to Function
Has happened to me before Plus! 98: Computer Hangs When You Start Lose Your Marbles
Douglas Adams couldn't top this "Object Not Found" Error Message Accessing "The Known Universe" in MMS
And an oil change... MSB Solar: ErrMsg: Magic School Bus Needs More Memory
Distributed proteome folding @ WorldCommunityGrid.org
Team Slashdot - Members:#1 Run Time:#1 Points:#1 Results:#1
Hell, if you use Windows for long enough, it'll turn your hair gray regardless of how many users there are in your group.
-- n
Other suggestions:
Hair stands on end if system under attack
Hair falls out if virus detected
Receeding hairline indicates time to patch the system
Punk green hairstyle means hacker detected
My rights don't need management.
Since when is grey hair hazardous to your health? I've been going grey since 17 and I'm as healthy as I ever was!
Help Brendan pay off his student loans
Why would the mythical Joe Sixpack be managing a computer or domain with 500 users, and further, be bothered enough by the different icon color? A company with 500 windows users damn well better have an experienced windows tech.
It's probably there to help some poor geek in a fortune-500 whose PHB declares, "fix that" and makes him waste a week on it so the department looks busy.
Please help metamoderate.
Everytime my Windows using friend refers to it and fails to fix his problem I laugh my ass off!
Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music I don't know about you folks, but it would freak me out if my computer suddenly started playing classical music on it's own.
Then there was that Munich thing.
What's left on that head is grey, for sure.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
This article discusses how to install Red Hat Linux 6.2 on Microsoft Virtual PC 5 for Macintosh.
Talk about indecisive people.
Microsoft Knowledge Base Article - 12AFB02819B23
n ,Dammi t!
Attempted Debugging of Microsoft Products Causes Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
IMPORTANT: This article contains information about modifying the registry. Before you modify the registry, make sure you wear a helmet to avoid the obsessive-compulsive disorder-inducing effects of attempting to modify the registry.
SYMPTOMS
If a user attempts to debug a problem with certain Microsoft products, the user will become frustrated and pull all of his or her hair out. This issue affects operating systems, servers, workstations, networking components, application programs, user groups, end user support personnel, and the ability to get a date.
RESOLUTION
WARNING: If you use Registry Editor incorrectly, you may exacerbate the problem. Microsoft cannot guarantee that you will be able to regrow your hair either with the assistance of a psychiatrist or with Rogaine(TM). Use Registry Editor at your own risk.
Windows debugging is inherently frustrating and causes users, administrators, managers, and shareholders to pull all their hair out, sometimes with needlenose pliers.
You can override this behavior in the registry. To do so, modify the FormatHardDiskOnStartup REG_DWORD value in the following registry key:
HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\Ru
The default value is 0x0; change this value to 0x1.
STATUS
Microsoft has confirmed that this is a problem in the Microsoft products that are listed at the end of this article.
WORKAROUND
It feels good when you stop. Also, try Hair Club for Men.
PRODUCTS AFFECTED
Windows 3.1
Windows 95
Windows 98
Windows ME
Windows NT
Windows 2000
Windows XP
Windows Server 2000
Windows Advanced Server 2000
Windows Server 2003
Windows Advanced Server 2003
Windows Media Player
Windows Update
Microsoft Word
Microsoft Excel
Microsoft Visio
Microsoft Flight Simulator
Microsoft Access
Microsoft SQL Server
Microsoft PowerPoint
Microsoft Visual Studio
Directly from Microsofts 'Knowledge' Database:
SYMPTOMS
When you start the Create Shortcut wizard, a temporary icon is created that you can copy, send to a folder, or to which you can create a shortcut. These temporary icons are empty or point to nothing
Resolution:
To resolve this issue, ignore the temporary icon.
haha
SYMPTOMS
Computer unresponsive or may present blue screen of death.
ResolutionL
To resolve this issue, ignore the blue screen, this is normal.
*DrugCheese rants*
We have one NT server admin going bald, and after 2 years of continous trouble and loud complaints after implementing thin clients/Citrix, it's an open question if he isn't also loosing his mind. This may sound like cheap fun but it's true. MS Windows 2000 Server edition is dangerous to your healt!
Last week he had 7 servers with worms. He quite possibly may lose his entire head over that stunt. Grey hear? Pffft... that's nothing.
Why are we spending time on this, when we could...
Anyone seen my jagged little pill?
Anyone else getting "backdoor.coreflood" virus notifications when visiting the site mentioned in the article?
-- In Soviet Russia, radio listens to YOU!
What will be next? Programming for free causes impotence?
Using Linux gives you a fatter cock.
If you need any more proof of incompetence in Redmond, behold: Calculator Does Not Reliably Subtract Two Numbers in Windows
SUMMARY
When you run Explorapedia and use the Exploratron to look at the Earth spinning, the Earth rotates in the wrong direction.
STATUS
Microsoft has confirmed this to be a problem in the World of Nature and not Explorapedia, version 1.0. Simply spin the Earth in the opposite direction, and then the direction indicated in the Exploratron will be correct.
The grey hair crowd is the fastest growing segment of the Internet. How's that for knowledge?
Anyone seen my jagged little pill?
I thought this was an Intel cpu bug way back then? Something about rounding errors.
Mirror is here, although I don't know for how long!
Bored? Why not join a decent mess
Sometimes Barney starts playing Peekaboo on his own.
I'm posting this so that you (the moderator) have some context to consider twitter and not mod him up whenever he posts his filler preformatted rants about installing Knoppix or Mepis or whatever that unfortunately get him karma every single time and allow him to continue posting his trademark toxic crap (read on) day in and day out. You may consider this a troll - I consider it community service. And I ain't kidding.
If you're a /. subscriber, I invite you to look through some of his posting history. I guarantee that you'll be hard pressed to find someone that is more "out there" than twitter. You'll also probably notice he's got quite an AC following. Don't just read his posts, make sure you go through the replies.
To get an idea of what I'm talking about, check this post out. This is an article about email disclaimers. The parent of the post is complaining about the ads in the linked page and so on, and twitter actually goes off on a rant to blame it on Microsoft and recommend Lynx, because "is teh free".
Here's another. In this post twitter not only calls the OP a troll but attempts to "tell it like it is" while making some vague argument about "GNU". Yes, if you're confused, you're not alone. The reply (modded +4) proceeds to simply destroy his bogus argument. You will notice he did not reply. This is what some people call "drive-by advocacy". A sort of I'll just leave you with my thoughts here and move on to the next flamebait kind of deal. In fact, he almost never replies because he knows that his fanatical arguments simply do not hold up to any sort of discussion. It's not that he's chosen the wrong cause - he's just going at it in a completely wrong way.
Here's that drive-by advocacy and FUD in motion: twitter goes on about some topic and then drops the usual "oh and M$ is teh evil" because "WMP phones home" or some such. Called on his FUD, he then claims that WMP stores every song and movie you've ever played in a file, somewhere. Pressed further, he just sort of slithers out of sight, his FUD-spreading complete. This is not about some Microsoft technology that nobody likes anyway; it's about lying for the sake of lying. Way too many of his posts are exactly like this one.
More? Just read though this post and the subsequent replies. I guess this stands on its own. Or these two. Or this one. Or this one.
Still not convinced? This is what twitter considers "humour" while going about his daily "M$" routine.
M
our hair turns gray.
I mean, this has been around for what, 5 years. Wow. God forbid anyone crack a quippy about anything that's remotely related to "open sores" (is that funny as well?), because then it's called an "attack on the free software community".
It's not posted because it's "funny", unless I've been somehow misunderstanding how this place works.
I guess we ran clear out of "M$" bashing stories, so this will do for the time being?
Mod the fuck away. But this is utterly pathetic.
Is it just me, or are these just absolutely unfunny bugs? Just basic, and sometimes "D'uh" bugs, but still not funny.
Shit, didn't realise others had posted mirrors before I did! Oh well, I can take the hit.
Some of these are amusing, but nothing beats Clarus the Dogcow of Apple fame. See for instance Apple technote TN1031:
h tm l
http://developer.apple.com/technotes/tn/tn1031.
Or the original, TN31 which Apple seems to have removed from their website recently.
Moof.
http://home.comcast.net/~phule/qarticles.html
In Soviet Russia...michael would be rotting in Siberia!
Grey hair is actually caused by having to program with the win32 API. I recently did a win32 app, my girlfriend claims my hair is entirely grey now, case closed! M
And of course while you sit their isolated in your supreme ivory tower of Linux, with few people able to interact with you in industry standard ways of communicating, you slowly die a lonely profitless and pointless death.
... only to then find that their clients can't give or receive data in a format that will work on your linux machine. Haven't you ever tried to use all those functions in your software? If you would you'd see that most of them don't work unless you've taken a week to find and compile a dozen other modules. And who can afford to waste all their time converting data to work with linux, then converting it back so your clients can deal with the results!
You called the parent guy snippy right after your own snippy remark. what a typical hypocritical dumbass linux fanboy response.
privacy: -- your system is more private because you are alone, no one can find you, no one wants to talk to you as you wither and wilt with no compatability with the file and data formats your clients need.
security -- your breed is so rare that no one has bothered to attack your MANY documented weaknesses.
functionality -- ahh that stuff windows users have by the truck load out of the box while linux users struggle for weeks to find just the right software components to finally allow their software to compile so they can start their job
feature set: see functionality, especially the part about all the functionality in most linux software that is actually no more than a selection on a menu that can't do anything if you haven't spent a week finding and compiling in other components your manuals didn't mention.
reliability: -- yes, i have reliably wasted weeks trying to make linux computers do things that a windows computer can do out of the box. But with all that 'everything free or die!' attitude, i'm sure my landlord won't mind me missing paying my rent since my linux software won't let me get my client's work done on time.
if I had to read 500 of your comments.
-1, Mind-numbing
I love easter eggs as long as they don't add huge amounts of bloat like the excel flight simulator.
Maybe you just can't handle the thought that someone at MS has a sense of humor and is therefore human not borg? Shock horror.
I love your signature
'friends don't help friends install MS junk'
Since when has any linux user ever truly helped anyone else use linux based software? let alone take any time to write a usable manual.
linux is all about putting yourself through months of pain, because only through emense pain can you be worthy of anything. Linux users won't even help their own linux friends half the time because you must experience the pain of using linux or you are unworthy.
To actually write an up to date manual, or to actually include all the critical details needed to make a piece of freeware compile and function correctly would just make it too damn easy! must have pain, sweeet sweeeet glorious linux pain. Hide the critical details and make them suffer sweeet linux pain. Nothing else matters but the pain.
No wonder you linux users are always so bitter and jealous of windows.
Large groups of Windows Users causes the Sys Admin to go gray, not the users!
http://alt.venus.co.uk/weed/humour/gates30.htm
retard, your bad spelling completely ruins your already bad joke. you conveniently double the letters where they aren't supposed to be (tallent, commedy) and leave them single where they're supposed to be double (programMer).
instead of writing silly worms to attack microsoft software, just slashdot small microsoft servers for a nice free and legal way to give ms a nice kick in the ass
-- Checking emails and kicking cheats `till the day I die.
The icon hair color changes from dark to gray in order to indicate that the statuses aren't going to be queried in advance of the user wanting to see details on the group... it's not really an easter egg, it's a feature. Gray is the color in the computer world to indicate such inactive states, isn't it?
The only phrase I can think of that comes to mind when having to touch a windows box is..
"BRING OUT THE GIMP! (Pulp Fiction)"
Now that will give you grey hair...
Got Code?
This is slashdot, where User Friendly is the shit. And about as funny, imo.
Go ahead, flamebate me- point is that a sense of humor is a highly relative thing- one man's OMFGWTFROTFLMAO!!!1 is another man's "man, I just wasted $minutes of my life on this shit."
Cases in point : Saturday Night Live and User Friendly.
Only one hemisphere of the planet Mercury has a bitmap surface. The other hemisphere is a smooth gray surface.
Their explanation: The planet textures used in Space Simulator are compiled from NASA photographs and reference material. The NASA data on Mercury is incomplete, covering only one hemisphere of the planet. One hemisphere was therefore intentionally left blank, reflecting this lack of data.
Well, how inconsiderate of them. They should have put THIS SIDE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK or something...
if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
Then what's the point of using a calculator in the first place?
Little. There's very little.
They had the opportunity to ship Windows with a convenient little applet, maybe modelled on a Casio FX-991 or similar - at the very least, give it a scrolling multiline output!
Instead, the Square Root function disappears in scientific mode (real issue, annoying, forces you to enter the square root a longer way, but not a big problem to anyone who actually uses the scientific functions).
But the real problem: how do you do arc-trig functions? They *must* be there, because there's absolutely no point in having trig functions without arc-trig, and they're kinda basic features in any calculator calling itself "scientific".
No hyperbolic trig functions, either.
This is what you get when you let a bunch of arts degrees from the marketing department design grown-up adult tools.
Fire and Meat. Yummy.
"If a send request occurs that is less than one segment, Silly Window Syndrome (SWS) can occur. To avoid SWS, the TCP/IP stack will hold the send for 5 seconds, or until there is enough data queued to send a full segment. " Ah yes I too suffer from Silly Window Syndrome, for some reason Windows shuts itself down with a BSOD when i'm trying to do something.
Have you metaroderated recently?
Linux is growing. That must be bitter for someone like you.
Linux privacy exists because offending privacy-invading code will be dropped from Open Source projects. That's not to say proprietary vendors haven't tried their usual shennanigans with the software they port to Linux. But at least with the base of Linux being ran by people who value privacy, these will be few and far between. It's a shame that more computing environments aren't like this.
Linux systems are under attack CONSTANTLY and have been so for years. The difference is that Linux security patches do not have a history of being unreliable. A Linux system is considerably more module than a Windows equivilant - far easier to configure securly. Linux systems deal gracefully with multiple layers of access unlike Windows where users are often forced to run privilidged due to brain-dead applications. And finally, Linux systems are not ridden with brain-dead architecture that panders to malware.
Linux software installs with a click. Pick the right data format and your customer will have no problem dealing with your data. Here's a hint - if the data format comes from only one vendor, you're probably going to have trouble with it. And do you really want YOUR data locked to a single point of failure?
As for feature set and reliability... eh. I'll give those points to you. I've grown bored of the troll game.
LUGS ... the only people they give grey hair to are Micro$oft Execs, concerned with their bottom line. Lots and lots of grey hair....
These jokes are LAME. You people are fucking freaks.
Microsoft's humor matches their ability to deliver secure software....
doors. It's right there in the KB:
Q236462: Characters Receive Damage Through Doors "RESOLUTION: To prevent this issue from occurring, do not stand in close proximity to doors."
I told you doors were evil... always use Windows!!!
Clippy
The idea could be extended to show the icon with different levels of grey to indicate how long the user has been registered on the sytem (when was user created) or how long the user has been in the current session and could be other interesting possibilities. since we don't want to apply different scales of grey on entire icon, we would need an icon revolution ;) where icon is organised into hair and rest-of-it . longer the user been in session / older the user is on system, the hair part of icon will be applied with grey factor (some people.. ooopss. icon might have colored hair as well)..
hope to see this in coming edition of kde/gnome and of course if some MS dude is reading this post, in next service pack of windows too.
The article is actually a link to pictures of clippy.
___
It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.
Yeah but according to them using Linux will make you go blind.
This BIOS feature is pretty interesting. Does anyone know if any new motherboards and BIOS chips do this nowadays?
It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs
their research work.
These morons hired some junk psychiatrists who happen to be mafia bosoes whose experiance is
religous conversion by force. The more the morons
tried to convert people to Windooooz, only
thing that happened is the graying of the hair of
those innocent people.
Anyways, if there is anything that can suck the blood of the talent in America it is this precious company.
I don't think many of these articles are meant to be funny (not that many of them are funny anyway). Some of them are completely valid issues that when read out of context seem funny. So leave MS alone on this one and have a go at the people who think they are funny.
I guess you didn't read the articles or else you would know that. I shouldn't be surprised really.
If I point out that you are incorrect, making me a foe does not make you any more correct.
. . . to none of them are even remotely amusing.
Because I didn't laugh once. It's not geek humor, it's just not funny.
Sadly, there are no statistics about God killing kittens, which is what Usenet is all about.
Heh. Sit down, my child:
If you're not laughing by now, there's a purple-veined broker landing in Oakland that I want to sell you.I'd love to read the rest of this boring article, but I can't waste another minute... I just have to get back to watching dust collect.
The link is http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb; en-us;824973
Nothing to see here, move along.......
Strange - I thought that Cole-in was just a white-guy with black makeup. Now, immagine if he became sweaty and his black make-up started to run just before the election - bye bye black vote.
Aha, so this would be Microsoft Patented Baldness?
>FormatHardDiskOnStartup REG_DWORD value in the >following registryw s\Run, >Dammi t!
>HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windo
I believe that value resides in the HKLM part, and not in the HKCU part. Wouldn't make any sense putting it in a user dependant place...
On the other hand it would certainly help correcting the problem on every workstation that user logs on to.
What are you talking about? None of that is true or based in any sense of reality. I've worked on probably thousands of PC's in the past 10 years and this has NEVER been an issue.
"Build done" signal makes no sound
is missing, in which Microsoft starts to buff up Linux (unknowingly?) by proclaiming:
:=)
- "Windows and Linux can coexist on the same computer. For additional information, refer to your Linux documentation."
- "Also, Linux recognizes more than forty different partition types, such as:"
Maybe there is even more Linux-advertising in this article ?
Slashdot: stuff for news, nerds that matter, matter for news, stuff that nerd
Umm, crack cocaine is smoked, not snorted. Perhaps she's hooked on meth or "original coke"? I would hate to speculate on the origin of the as-yet unidentified white liquid on her upper lip, dripping down her chin, little droplets falling on her pert, lively little breasts. Oh wait, that's on my monitor, not her face.
When Windows 3.11 came out, it didn't really do very much, except break OS/2 for Windows. OS/2 for Windows used/loaded an existing copy of Windows 3.1 to run Windows programs, and did the patching on-the-fly to make it run as an OS/2 client. Windows 3.11 changed the build to mess up the offsets so OS/2 for Windows couldn't load it.
So the joke was, what's the difference between Windows 3.11 and Windows 3.1? Use the Windows calculator, and the answer was '0'. It left you with the impression that the whole release was there just to break OS/2 for Windows.
(From what I've heard, WfWG 3.11 was a 'real' release, though.)
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
Why complain about hair turning grey. At least there is hope to change the color. Skin is kinda hard to turn back into hair.
...Buy G5s and xServes
STATUS
It's still funny, though:)Microsoft has confirmed this to be a problem in Explorapedia, World of Nature, version 1.0. We are researching this problem and will post new information here in the Microsoft Knowledge Base as it becomes available.
Earth Rotates in Wrong Direction, article
The knuckles, the horrible knuckles!
(I'm a girl, you know)
Doesnt seem to function with Konqueror ( on FBSD ), at all...
Not a complaint, as ill just not care about his content, but was curious if it is just me..
---- Booth was a patriot ----
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
No need for an article when things just work. Knoppix, which uses KDE by default, almost always works sound. If Knoppix won't work, get another sound card. Almost all modern distros will configure themselves to work.
If a game or other program does not work in KDE try starting the game from the command line with "artsdsp" before the game name. This usually makes the legacy application work with ATRS.
The coolest thing about ARTS is it's ability to send input from multiple programs to the same or multiple sound cards without problem. A nice demonstration is to layer individual noises with multiple instances of kwave or similar. My favorite is cicada songs. I'm told that Windoze typically blue screens if you try to play music while playing games. This is so sad.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
If Knoppix won't work, get another sound card.
"The great thing about Linux is that it's free! Except for the new hardware you'll have to buy."
I'm told that Windoze typically blue screens if you try to play music while playing games.
No, in fact, it doesn't, and modern sound cards have had the capability to mix streams of audio from multiple applications for years now. The last time I ran in to problems with multiple sounds playing at once was when I had an ISA Sound Blaster AWE 32.
Karma: Terrifying (mostly affected by atrocities you've committed)
...
The last time I ran in to problems with multiple sounds playing at once was when I had an ISA Sound Blaster AWE 32.
Ahhh, but I still use Sound Blaster 16's that I pull from the garbage of Windoze users. No blue screens either. Trust me, you end up spending less on hardware when you step off the upgrade train. Of course, with all the money you save from not buying eXPensive software, you can run more and better selected hardware.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Coincidentally, the last time I had an ISA sound card was when I was using Windows 95. It's entirely possible that XP would have no problems with it. I haven't even had any ISA slots on my motherboard for at least five or six years.
I also get an educational discount on Microsoft software. Windows XP cost me $5.
Why do you assume I would spend less on hardware if I was using Linux? Top-of-the-line is top-of-the-line, and if you do any kind of serious work on your computer, you'll want the best hardware you can get, regardless of what operating system you're using.
Karma: Terrifying (mostly affected by atrocities you've committed)
I know I've spent less on hardware than you have because I get fine performance from less than "top-of-the-line" hardware. I have one machine that's better than 1GHz and nothing taxes me so much that I feel the need to use it more often than I use a well tuned 650 MHz Athlon slot machine that I bought five years ago. If you've been ISA free for six years, you threw away hardware that I did not have to.
My software also costs less, despite your educational discount. I pay nothing, $0, for Debian and all that it comes with. I'm happy to say that I give the Free Software Foundation $10/month, but two year of that is less than I paid for one educational discount compiler I bought before moving to Linux. "Top-of-the-line" commercial software is very expensive and M$ does very little without it.
If I really have some serious computing to do, I could probably convince the owners of Super Mike, an LSU Linux cluster, to give me some time. Linux does much better when it comes to submitting "serious work" to University computing services. It's more likely, however, that I'll just leave the process running on my own machines. They stay up long enough to do useful work.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Actually, that's half of what you said. And no, what reliable people tell me about their systems is not unfounded hearsay.
The other thing you said was to taunt me with
"The great thing about Linux is that it's free! Except for the new hardware you'll have to buy."
Which you know is bullshit.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ghe y
P.S. Blame slashdot for putting a space between the e & y in ghey.
I wasn't paying enough attention when I read the post, so when I got to
This web site has a large collection of links to humorous Microsoft Knowledge Base articles.
I clicked on the Microsoft Knowledge Base link rather than the humor site link. I thought it was pretty ballsy (and funny) to say that MS' knowledge base had a large collection of links to humorous articles. Which I suppose it does...
"You will soon be more aware of your growing awareness." - My first recursive fortune cookie!
It's not a correction as such when you just didn't get the joke - it's only a failure of the turing test.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
-gandalf23
Is it me or are these "Funny Microsoft Q Articles" just not very funny at all?
ZzzzZZzzzz
Seriously ... getting sick and tired of MS bashing (the extreme stuff). There are lots of us supporting 10,000's of users with their software, thank you. When you constantly bash them with the same old rhetoric, you are bashing your fellow IT'ers. I see security holes everywhere - are you on Apache 1.3.31 yet? Everywhere? How about we lay of the low s/n crap and talk normally. This forum is for nerds. Infighting makes us look extra dorky.
As far as I ever knew, all calculators do it this way. Not a checkbox, but a button that simulates one, but still. I'd think anyone who would need to to calculations along these lines would have done so on any number of calculators which have the exact same functionality.
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
www.microsoft.com does come up at the top of a google search for http.
Bastards.
my computer tells me to kill the neighbor, and occasionally leaks blood.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
that everything you have seen, everybody has seen.
Every time someone gets that keyboards error, there going to say the same damn thing. It will be new to them.
Not one person actually thinks that MS didn't relize you needed to plug in the keyboard before pressing F1.
Many of those 'humorous' messages will be funny to people who don't know much about computers.
Now excuse me, I need to unplug my keyboard and press F1 to submit this post.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
to provide the link.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
I can get an MSCE just as easy as the next guy. No need to go insulting me... Besides, How tough can one computer with 500 user be to manage? Even I know to get chairs with wheels so they can change places at the keyboard easy enough.
Joe Sixpacks, defender of the common man.
Sweetie -- misquoting != joke:) Certainly not when most ppl. would probably think he was quoting the article literally and in their turn spread the misquote further.
You probably didn't notice, but I did say -- if indirectly -- that it was funny.
The knuckles, the horrible knuckles!
(I'm a girl, you know)