Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft may Sanction the 'Switcher' PR-Rep
Nerull sent in a snippit from The Age saying "Microsoft may consider sanctions against a public relations consultant who tried to pass herself off as someone who had switched from the Apple Mac to Windows XP in a high-profile US advertising campaign, chief executive Steve Ballmer said today." Here is Monday's
Slashdot Story that this follows up to. Lots of amusing little quotes about
what it means to be trustworthy.
Anyone think Microsoft may be starting to sound a little like a government. They are proposing 'sanctions' now, next it will be 'peace keeping' and 'police actions'. Perhaps a dark vision of the future to come.
Ok I'll take my medication now.
Happy Noodle Boy says "F###ing doughnut! Mock me? You fried cyclops!!"
They're going to blockade her ports and refuse to sell food to her?
That's a little overkill, isn't it?
Hokey statistics and ancient misconceptions are no match for a good thought in your head, kid!
Wow, Microsoft might say bad PR person, no doughnut. Or give them a slap on the wrist, or a reprimand in their file.
Wow that's really punishing her. Show her who is boss.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=5838
Who wouldn't 'Switch'?
But this 'action' begs the question. Are they going to act on the other 'testimonials' that are prefaced with stock photo images?
-S
We Apprentice Developers and Designers
. . . oops! We got caught! Why, this was one rouge contractor who didn't meet our standards of conduct. We'll see that s/he is appropriately flogged in the public square. Then we'll go on doing the same things, only being more careful not to be so obvious about it.
Ok so what is MS going to do? Start a software embargo against one person?
Will they raise this issue at the UN and demand a resolution? Hmmm, that would require votes from China and France who are LINUX supporters?
Politics, Politics, my head just spins....
"You can't make a race horse of a pig"
"No," said Samuel, "but you can make very fast pig"
Lots of amusing little quites about what it means to be trustworthy.
Quite amusing indeed.
As with the sun's light
My mom was magnificent
Unquestionable
From an organizational perspective, this renders down to if we screw up, you're the one left swinging.
so it was alright until the press got wind of it?
Next we'll be seeing how Microsoft violated copyright rules by stealing code from programmers then arranging their death via accident, and we'll read of a story about a young college student that gets recruited by Mr. Gates himself. Then their tale of exposing their dirty little secret... hmmm, this sounds a little familar, now where have I heard this before... OH YEAH.. --looks like Anti-Trust... hehe
The article linked to from /. has a link back to /.. Wonder who gets /.ed first?
"If that's right, I will certainly castigate the offender."
Hm, for a minute there I thought he most definately meant to say castrate. Then I remembered that he wasn't Cmdr. Taco and the probability of spelling skill went through the roof. But wouldn't he have been disappointed to find out that the person he was going to castrate was a woman?
That surely would present a problem.
-S
We Apprentice Developers and Designers
...now she can switch back to something more usable.
Of course it's a bit rich saying it was a rouge PR or marketing drone. I'm sure the marketing gestapo at MS rules with an iron fist and may well have insisted some sort of respose to Apple's succesful campaign.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
but there wasnt a little squiggly line under "quites"...
HUMAN proofreaders are a good thing (tm) when publishing.
It's not quite a quote. ;-) We used to call them semi-quotes in SF fanzines.
At the best (or worst, depending on the angle you're looking from) she came up with the concept and it was okayed by her superiors -- it did end up on the Microsoft site, after all, and from the article she wrote, I seriously doubt she has the technical skills to hack in and put it there herself.
Microsoft's claim that they're the innocent victims of the manipulations of some ad agency schemer is so obviously ridiculous and transparent I can't believe they're even trying it.
Say it ain't so! It's not like they had someone switch from Linux. I wonder how much they would offer RMS to a "Switch to Whinedows XP" commercial? Might be worth it to fund GNU for the next century.
Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
It wasn't a outright lie. she had switched to XP, and wrote about it. She changed some of the less relevent details so that people didn't dismiss it as a piece of marketing fluff, but that was all.
The facts remain true. She did switch. She did find it easy.
Besides, this is marketing. It's not expected to be 100% true. How do we know that any of Apple's "switch" stories aren't simply made up?
Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, he added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Microsoft has a code of behavior? You could have fooled me. Especially given the reprehensible way they have behaved as a corporation for the last decade.
Oh... wait... Maybe I'm making assumptions about what the code of behavior says. Maybe she will get in trouble for violating the code of behavior, namely, because she got caught and did not get away with it.
I'll see your senator, and I'll raise you two judges.
Let me get this straight, Microsoft hires her to do this little commercial, I imagine not giving much of a shit whether or not she switched. Perhaps she mentioned the word switch, so she seemed to be qualified. Then they will actually punish her for their retarded PR mistake? This is like a parent telling their kids, "Jonny, go tell our neighbors about our dog that we don't have." And then once the neighbors call up asking why Jonny is going on and on about a non-existant dog, the parents say, "JONNY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, YOU LYING YOU LITTLE SOB, IMA GONNA SMACK YOU DOWN!" Punishing your workers for the very thing you hired them to do demonstrates piss poor decision making on the managers parts. MS is the one who came up with this rediculous faux-switch campaign, shooting the messenger who brought it to the people is just irresponsible. Personally, this sounds like a pink-slip relay, everyone handing the responsiblity down until it arrives at the foot of the person who listened to what everyone told them to do.
"What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on Earth, given the experience of the past million years? Nothing." -Bokonon
Well I guess they can't use the excuse that "well she looked like she was high, so we can't really hold it against her..."
it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Will the last person leaving Redmond please turn off the lights?
Trolling is a art,
Too funny! I am going to assume that Bill is actually in charge of the Country of Microsoft since "Give it up for me" could be considered a call to worship which would make Ballmer a religious figure. So in the separation of church vs state arguement I would have to think that Mr. Gates would be implementing the sanctions against the PR firm. I wonder why they take turns using CEO when really it could be something like Czar and Pope? No sorry assed half witted responses neccessary to correct my obvious summations of separate goverments, legal loopholes, and nasty spelling errors, instead please take the time to really bask in the absurdity of the parent (besides that will make me look smarter too!)
They, after getting approval from the Board of Directors (who don't want to appear as being weak on PR agencies), will launch a full-scale invasion of the firm. Unfortunately, while appearing effective, the woman will escape and her whereabouts will be unknown.
The company will set up a puppet CEO and all will live happily ever after.
Blame the real culprit...the nefarious marketing hack Don Funk (donfu@microsoft.com). Here's an image from that ad. Note the name of the user who is logged on.
Valerie may have written the copy but do you think she got the stock image, drove to Microsoft, got on Don Funk's computer, took a screen shot, then uploaded it to the server? Perhaps she just made a "Don Funk" user on her machine and hacked into the MS web site.
Ah well, Ballmer's on the case - "I will certainly castigate the offender." Ooh, I never thought they'd go for castigation at MS...after all, that would leave them with eunuchs.
"If that's right, I will certainly castigate the offender."
I thought you could only do that to males?
Karma: NaN
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
This guy makes about as much sense as Pootie Tang.
The neutrality of this sig is disputed.
Micirosoft has been known for this type of behaviour. Using one of their own PR persons to pretend to be a 'switcher' (for the lack of a better term) is just par for the course
I'm not surprised MS is planning reprisals for this person. Pretending to be an ordinary joe off the street that switched is ok - getting caught as a stooge in one of MS's standard FUD strategies though - that's just not acceptable.
<sarcasm>
How dare she be so stupid as to not have gone into hiding and prevent the damage to MS's precious reputation?
</sarcasm>
Karma: Shagadelic (mostly affected by those tight knickers - yeah baby, yeah!)
Obviously he had to be talking about the M$ marketing department and "Microsoft's attempts to turn around its unscrupulous image"
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
In completely unrelated news, the number of hits of the Slashdot tech news and discussion Web site halved overnight.
From the article:
Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, he added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
I hope Ballmer's got his resume polished. I think they'll have to use a lawnmower to accomplish that weeding.
(Then again "MS's code of behavior" could mean something else...)
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
The article calls Valerie a "PR bunny". Okay, I think that is punishment enough.
Someone go find out the real name of that girl in the photodisc stock photo. I'm willing to bet it isn't the same "Valerie G. Mallinson" from M$.
eTrade SUCKS
The above quote says it all!!
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
Hello, my name is Valerie G. Mallinson and I was a public relations consultant.
Until recently I worked at Wes Rataushk and Associates Incorporates. Recently my life has taken an unexpected turn and now I can honestly say that I was not happy there. At my new job I can't wait to ask every client a smiling "Would you like that Super Sized?"
That's right, McDonalds is the best job in the world. My name is Valerie G. Mallinson and I switched.
Trolling is a art,
Ballmer was actually a little harsh toward Microsoft in the article, assuming that he wasn't misquoted or the comments weren't taken out of context. I'm not saying that it was undeservedly harsh -- not at all! I was just surprised that he was that blunt.
MS is putting their spin back in, since they hosed it up the first time. The ironic thing is, had Word not crapped out a bunch of info (which it shouldn't), it wouldn't have gotten to this point. *Of course, actually taking pictures of real people wouldn't hurt either. I would be interested to know whether or not they *paid for the pictures, or just skimmed them off the site.
MS needs to have someone leave the ivory tower and go talk to real people. Those interviews in which Mom says, "I switched from a Brother Word Processor, and now I can print the Lutheran Bake Sale Price List in COLOR! I'm still trying to get 'the online' though."
Bob at the Garage says, "We used to do our stuff on this box here, then the boss says to me, he says, 'Bob! Get me a Module for an 89 Escort.'
I was like, 'What the hell? Napa's closed.'
And he said, we need to get 'the online'. He went out next day and got 'the online' and now we got 'the online'. We have to get the postits from the old one on here though."
After the 'Real People' interviews, MS will realize that they don't *want to know who uses windows, and quietly release Windows LX, which is Lindows, but crashes more.
I mean, c'mon. This is an f-up by someone in the company who out of brand loyalty decided to tell a fib. Ok, so it wasn't the smartest thing to do. And everybody can probably debate me on just how loyal he/she was. But it reminds me of this dialogue:
/. discussion threads) and all the posts will be pointing out how this implicitly means all MS products are inferior and all their employees are duplicitous liars.
"Do I look fat in this?"
[Without hesitation]"No."
And if it was probably anyone else people would roll their eyes and go onto something else. But since it's Microsoft we've gotta make this big deal out of it (i.e. now it's two
Stuff like this always makes me feel like the OS/FS/Linux community is taking about ten steps back.
What is music when you despise all sound?
I certainly agree with the general sentiment that Microsoft has egg on its face. Again. But, really, the faux-switcher website cannot be considered as a high profile ad campaign by any stretch of the imagination. Where are the TV ads and radio spots? The X-10 pop-up ads have had much more of an impact than the Microsoft webpage. Most of us learned about the MS ad here on /., not via any source of mainstream media.
Perhaps this wasn't Ballmer's idea - at least he's trying to present a claim of plausible deniability - not that it matters. MS is certainly responsible here - but blowing the fraud out of proportion isn't doing any good. It will simply allow MS to downplay criticism of their greater crimes with a "there they go again" excuse.
144l. ph34r my 133t l3g4l 5k1lz!
And here I thought we were all a bunch of illiterate, know-nothing (but very vocal, none-the-less) geeks.
Will wonders never cease.
R
Stuff that matters: circuitbreakers, vacuum-cleaners coffee makers, calculators generators, matching salt+pepper shakers
quotes or quips?
Coffee time!
100% proof that shit rolls down hill.
Can you believe that this unscrupulous women would try and besmirch the good reputation of the honourable and Trustworthy(TM) reputation of Microsoft Corp.? What has this world come to, when, a lowly maggot such as this can expose the righteous to such scourn, oh heavens me, What Great and GRAND Injustice , Microsoft has endured enough of an attack from this nat. Feel not pitty for her, for she will feel the wrath of God's scourn.
I for one stand shoulder to shoulder with -- and will stand and fight for the honour -- of Microsoft, to help them endure this vile mudslinging.
I am absolutely agast.
I say we BURN HER AT THE STAKEEE!!!
Maybe they could just dig up Jack Ruby and have him shoot her before she can take the stand.
Article is about microsoft and advertisment is for visual studio.net
a ge 1.jpg
http://www25.brinkster.com/nlamprecht/images/im
Not entirely straightforward? Rather like that sentence then?
Cheers,
Ian
On the technical front we acknowledged that nine months ago, and I wouldn't say we've done a bad job, but customer expectations for what they expect for reliability, for security, customer expectations were beyond our performance.
On the technical front, I have to agree. With what they have to work with, they've done a decent job. Unfortunately, what they have to work with isn't good enough. It's going to be a fairly long process getting MS products to be trustworthy.
And then there are the non-technical angles. I don't think anyone here needs me to get into that, but that is the area where I really have problems with MS. And that is the area that, from the outside at least, no progress is being made in.
Science may someday discover what faith has always known.
Who said no one was ever fired for buying MicroSoft?
She should just switch back and do a testimonial for Apple.
-- Don't Tase me, bro!
Did anyone notice how Ballmer misspelled that word "castigate". The actual spelling he meant to use was "scapegoat".
Speaking of vague... Shouldn't the leader of one of the worlds most influencial companies be able to portray his thoughts a more clearly?
This made the Stern show, and I was happy to see that Robin called us "Geeks" and not "Nerds". Howard made mention that Wendy also made a switch, from a Mac to a Toaster.
Just goes to show there is really justice in this world.
Got Code?
switch and get fired.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
...is that she got caught.
So I don't care for a moment how truthful they are, either way, I find them to be repugnant and offensive. Just like negative political ads or the "Truth" anti-smoking campaign(which has made me more than once want to start smoking in protest). That's right advertising people, I don't want to hear you dissing crap, whether it's for Apple, Microsoft, IBM or anyone else. It is NOT enticing, it's revolting. Almost as revolting as the Jeff Goldblum ads, but not quite.
If anyone inside Redmond is steamed, it would probably be because of the stock photo.
Sure, she probably was told to 'switch' to XP and write a story about it. But it's the fake picture that was the embarassment. If she used a real photo of herself, it would be dismissed as just another paid advertisement.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Start a software embargo against one person?
Penalties:
First offense: 1 year MS software embargo
Second offense: 1 week MS software embargo
Third offense: Compelled to use MS software for life.
guac-foo
Lots of petrified grits
I come from an advertising & PR background with several small to medium sized agencies.
First off: I'd wager that 90% of the testimonials you see in advertising are manufactured by the agency using their own employees. I've done it, and just about everyone I've known in the business at smaller agencies have done it. We also lend our voices to TV/Radio spots on occasion, and also appear in photo shoots from time to time when the budget or deadline are too tight to solicit (read: pay) professionals/real people.
Secondly: This is always done with the client's complete knowledge.
MS is playing a big game of CYA right now, and the agency is falling on their sword and taking the blame. That's how it works.
Their little stunt backfired on them, so they're spinning the blame to the PR/ad agency.
This sort of thing goes on every day, although not usually as high profile (or embarassing) as this particular case, which delights me to no end.
MS has been steal^H^H^H^H^H emulating Apple for how many years now? And they still can't get it right. Betcha 'ol Steve is laughing his turtlenecked ass off about this one, not to mention the folks at Chiat Day (Apple's agency).
Specifically, this one:
10. Thou shalt not be caught after doing any or all of these things.
Ahh, right.
- Love Bug: not a bug, user error
- Code Red: not a bug, administrator error
- Switch campaign: she can't be the right person, we made her up.
So what exactly is the Microsoft code of conduct? You'll get castigated for anything resembling the truth?Key to financial independence: Spend less than you earn. Save and invest the difference. Do it for a long time.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said. "If that's right, I will certainly castigate the offender."
I see Ballmer is up to "C" in his word-a-day program.
some shrewd sleuth should track DOWn whois this guise
he clearly works for fuddles&fudstorm, the giaNT ?pr? ?firm?, & lives in central florida. stevIE billmirror having to disavow him/his shillery, would be a genuine Coupe De Ville for the one who eXPoses him to the "mainstream" media. happy hunting.
From the article:
...you name it.
Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, [Ballmer] added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Uhh. I'd love to know precisely what this so-called "code of behavior" is.
We would then be free, presumably, to hold it to Ballmer et al to these standards every time they lie, cheat and obfuscate the truth about their DRM motives, security holes they claim aren't really security holes, but "features"
I'm especially amused that Microsoft is trying to take some ethical high ground on this. Even if you accept that this incident wasn't planned, everything from Dr. DOS to the Halloween docs prove they've got no such mitre to fling around.
My
Limekiller
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
Really?!? Marketing not being straight forward? Does this also mean that maybe dude isn't actually getting a Dell?
do not read this line twice.
Big ads all over the place all about how switching was the worst mistake she ever made.
She lost her job, became a public laughing stock, all because she switched to XP.
The proof is certainly not in the pudding. That doesn't even make sense, not that incoherancy has stopped Balmer before.
pah! People should occasionally think about what they parrot...
Here she has switched from Mac to another popular platform. Can't she make up her mind?? Maybe they should sanction her twice... or maybe it's her evil twin.
After ranting last night on slash dot
about how narcisistic Balmer is I felt troubled that I had spent so much time thinking about that fellow.
And because his behavior and the things that he does and says leave me profoundly troubled, I picked up my Bible for inspiration.
I came upon Psalm 37.
I suggest that all who wish for MS to be reformed and redeemed read Psalm 37.
October 14, 2002
Yes, it's true. I like obsolete technology enough to change my whole computing world around. Here's the bottom line: the UnixPC gives me more choices and flexibility, and better compatibility with the rest of the technology world.
More Hardware Options, for Less Benjamins (or free)
I am a computer engineer. I demand the best in desktop computers. There are many features for the UnixPC platform. My UnixPC came with 1 Megabyte of RAM, a 12" screen, a 20 Megabyte hard drive, a 360 Kilobyte disk drive, a 1200 baud modem for lightning fast connections over a phone line, and a Voice Power board, which allows me to record sounds on the computer. Entirely free. And the UnixPC runs UnixPC OS 3.51, based on AT&T's System V Release 4.
More Software Flexibility
Microsoft Word pales in comparison to vi. There's no equivalent to the versatility of typing with vi and formatting with troff. It does ASCII text formatting for maximum standards compliance. My AT&T dot-matrix printer prints all my code listings with stunning clarity.
The additional "Ethernet" board allows the UnixPC to connect to other computers on your network, or even to the "Internet," a new and growing global network of computers. Telnet does more for me than Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 ever did, allowing me to directly connect and enter commands into remote computers.
How Now Brown Cow?
Now that I've given you the reasons why I converted, here's the 411 on the how, dig it.
Step 1: Operating System Install
The first time I turned on my UnixPC, the UnixPC prompted me to insert the install media. I sat for only an hour, putting floppy after floppy into the computer, while the system copied them to disk. It's like that time I owned a Pinto, and I kept feeding it more and more parts and spending more and more money until it eventually worked.
Step 2: Setting up Accounts
After I installed the operating system and rebooted, my UnixPC asked me to login. I logged in with the installation account, and I was brought into the UnixPC's "Windowing" environment. I easily created myself an account and set the root password.
Step 3: Setting up "E-Mail"
Once I installed the Voice Power board and its driver software, I also installed the Voice E-mail package. E-mail (or Electronic Mail) is a way for people to send each other messages over the Internet. The Voice E-mail package allows you to use your UnixPC as an answering machine, once the answering machine software is installed. When a message is recorded, an envelope icon shows up at the top right of the screen. Clicking on this icon brings you to your Inbox, where the new message will appear as a new E-mail. In the Inbox, you can also compose and send messages to other users, all you need to know is their UUCP bang path.
The AT&T UnixPC has all the features a 17 year old computer should have.
AT&T's UnixPC: The Computer With The Future Built In.
Sheepdot: Open Source good, Closed Source baaaaaaad!
As much as I dislike M$, that seemed like a cheap shot on the article's part. "Trustworthy computing" is a M$ initiative to make computing power, in general, more distributed by increasing its reliability. It doesn't have anything to do with my trusting or not trusting a business's practices. The trust they're talking about is in the reliability and integrity of the software, not in the groups that distribute it.
All's true that is mistrusted
He meant that Microsoft was going to hide the evedence in the pudding! His statemement makes much more sense when I look at it that way.
Hi Steve! (I know you're reading.)
What does Microsoft's code of behavior have to say about employee conduct that gets the company convicted in the Federal court system for multiple violations of the Sherman Act?
What does the code say about executives who lie under oath in videotaped depositions?
What does the code say about manufacturing evidence in a trial?
What does the code say about attempting to intimidate potentially hostile witnesses?
Will you be "weeding out" any of the Microsoft employees who are known to have done all of these things?
Always keep a sapphire in your mind
I am so sick and tired of Microsoft's crap all the time. It seems that all they can do is cheat, steal, and puke on the underdog (in this case the PR rep). What blows me away the most is the continuing support of M$ in the corporate and even government world at this point. This may be offtopic so I aplogize, it justs makes me sick..
Northern New York News with a Twist of Lemon!
What was supposed to look editorial was indeed anything but editorial. The very least she could have done was to say that "I am hired by a PR relations company that does business with Microsoft".
Stop the brainwash
"They're going to blockade her ports . . ."
There's only 3, right?
"In a perception sense this hasn't been a very good four to five months, I'll be blunt. On the other hand we now understand another important lesson in terms of what it means to be a trustworthy partner."
This disgusts me. First, what he seems to find bad is the perception of the public, not the reality of his company's malfeasance. He then claims to understand a really important lesson about being trustworthy. Apparently that lesson is that a trustworthy partner does not lie. Some would tend to a harsher interpretation - that the lesson was don't get caught lying. Whether true or not, I find the most generous interpretation to be sufficiently damning.
Pretty lame Mr. Balmer, pretty lame.
Oh well, she will have to switch again.
I propose to the editors of /. to pay this poor unemployed woman to switch to Debian and then write a story about it on /. After all, she'll probably get the sack because of the article on /.
I'll do it for cheesy poofs.
The article doesn't say that Ballmer is going to punish Mallinson. It says they may punish the marketing person who came up with this idea. That means, most likely, whoever tasked Mallinson's firm with this job. So many have written "It was MS's idea, and it's MS's fault, not Mallinson's" Of course, but MS isn't the borg, despite popular belief. They don't come up wiht ideas collectively and foist them on unsuspecting freelancers.
/.? Care to share?
Most likely, an individual in their Windows marketing group came up with that idea and outsourced it, simple as that. If anyone gets in trouble, it will be that person, or the head of that group. However, I doubt that anyone in that group will really be punished.
The other possibility is that Mallinson's firm came up with the idea. In that case, the firm is probably no longer affiliated with MS. NOW, what's really unlikely is that Mallinson came up with the idea, pitched it to her firm, got approval, pitched it to Microsoft, got approval, then wrote it herself.
Most likely a team was involved. They made a mistake. They got caught. It's over. I doubt anyone will get fired. If they do, that sucks because I think the collective hubris at MS is more to blame than any one person.
Valerie - are you reading
Yes, it's a blog. Sorry if that offends you.
You're a naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, very clever, naughty, naughty girl. Now hold out your wrist while I find the wet noodle.
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
To: slashdot development crew
From: more readers than you realize
Re: expanded comment threshold settings
I sincerely propose that Slashdot implement a threshold setting so that readers could view comments in a more dynamic way. The proposal: let the reader chose the minimum and MAXIMUM settings for comments that they wish to see. For example, view all comments from +1 to +3.
The benefit I see in this is that while still eliminating the 'first posts' and goatse.cx posts that hover around 0 and -1, this will also spare readers the homogenous groupthink ('Microsoft sucks!') that is seen at the +5 posts.
Please take this post will all sincerity.
Thank you.
From the producers of Secretary, and starring Maggie Gyllenhaal
as Valerie G. Mallinson...
The Switcher!
Tagline: Hurt me, beat me, make me upload bad press releases...
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
Hi there! My name is Stannus J. Wolfieschlegelsteinnerbergerdorfmann and I switched from Linux and Mac to Windows because I am a blithering idiot that barely knows how to turn my computer on. And I like the Tellytubby start-up screen, which brings back good memories of my stay at a rehabilitation program for the cowardly. I simply LuuuuV Microsoft products because I have learned to love the torturer, humbly accepting all abuse. With each surprise announcement of a new security breach concerning M$ or whenever Monopolosoft is caught in another lie, I simply turn all three of my other cheeks. I love Bill Gates because is hurts sooooo good!
Rien n'est plus beau que le creux du 0.
If Microsoft told her to carry out this 'anti-switch' campaign (she *must* have memos), and then fire her for doing her job, why couldn't she sue 'em?
While I don't necessarily think that two instances are indicative of a some downward spirialing pattern, one has to wonder how much may be out there we haven't found out about yet.
Additionally, "David Manning" raved about such winners as "Animal" "A Knight's Tale" and "Hollow Man." And now MS's fakie is raving about Windows XP...
I guess if the product you're promoting is bad enough... And hey, they're in good company, taking marketing leads from the movie studios, right?
~Mephie
"I am the spirit that denies forever..."
Buy the President
Right, because everyone knows that people in advertising are the soul of discretion and honesty. Wait, what the fuck?
Microsoft doesn't pay random low-level people to lie. They hire whole ad agencies to do campaigns for them. So, maybe it was someone from Microsoft who came up with the idea for a "reverse switched" campaign (nevermind the absurdity of the concept - how many Mac users convert to die-hard Windows freaks?). What probably happened was that MS said, "great, get some testimonials and make it happen!" and the poor shmuck stuck with the job sat there for a little while until she realized that there weren't any such testimonials to be had. So she made one up.
Microsoft has done plenty of ad campaigns in the past, but their deceptions have all been about matters of substance - stuff like "the GPL will take over your software." Lying about something like this isn't just dumb - it may actually be too far beneath their notice to be worth pinning on them.
As a former political activist (who's seen at least one scandal occur close-up), it was immediately obvious to me from the original story that this, too, is a total crock. There's no way that this PR consultant was at any point intending to use herself as an example. Here's what had to be the case:
(1) PR consultant is directed to write a series of fictional "counter-switch" case studies.
(2) PR consultant's name gets recovered from the MS documents sloppily put on the web,
(3) The name is tracked down to the PR firm itself, and questions are asked as to the possible fictition of counter-switch examples,
(4) So the PR consultant in question is directed to take the hit for the company, and claim that the example is not fictional, it's her. Hogwash.
I'd challenge MS and/or the PR firm to prove that this writer/consultant in any way resembles the figure in the case study. I bet she doesn't look anything like that stock photo, nor would any of her personal information match up with the story, if forced out of them.
The case study is just total fiction and this chick wrote it, is all. Now she's jumped on the sword to mask that fact. I've seen practically the same thing happen at a place I worked before.
We know where leadership by an anti-intellectual "strongman" who scapegoats minorities and likes boisterous rallies goes
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
So this is why you did a press release on Trustworthy Computing? Because of some vauge email you received? You really don't know anything more about this issue? Come on, Ballmer, you really can't expect us to eat what you are selling.
You know the details and just don't have a "casual knowledge" of it. Liar.
This person is a patsy. Microsoft breeds this sort of shit with the culture it promotes internally. I know this because my wife worked there for 3 years. They don't care if someone does this sort of thing, they only care that they got caught.
It's the same way the approach secure software. They don't care if it's actually secure, they only care that no one finds the security problems. That's why they get pissed when people find holes in their software. "Well it wouldn't be a problem if someone didn't find out about it, now would it?"
That, and many other reasons, is why they will never open the source on their software. They know there code will not stand up to scrutiny and it wasn't designed to do so either. They make things to make money - period. Now I know some of you idiots out there are going to say, "Of course, Microsoft is a business that's why all businesses make software." My rebuttal is yes software companies make software to make money. However, there is this little thing called professionalism. It's where you do things for your profession because it's the right thing to do. Like when lawyers take cases pro bono or doctors help someone on the street who just got hit by a car. Software should be looked at the same way. You make software secure and reliable because it's your profession and your company should encourage you to do so. Microsoft does not encourage it's programmers to write quality code - it's not part of their culture. I am off topic now so I shall bid you farewell.
Sorry for going off, but the 3 years my wife worked at MS were some really difficult times and we love it now that she's free. It really is a horrible place to work, it's really fucked up.
LoRider
[Steve Ballmer] added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
Manager: Have you added any gaping holes in security?
Peon: No.
Manager: Have you lied to our customers?
Peon: No.
Manager: Have you disobeyed any Federal court orders?
Peon: No.
Manager: You're fired.
Stop-Prism.org: Opt Out of Surveillance
The person who actually switched from Mac to XP has been identified. Even Microsoft with it's fluffy advertising campaigns realize that this is just too unlikely, maybe even a blatant lie, and demands that the person in question be reprimanded for cheating and lying and promoting bad businesspractices.
You reap what you sow.
Bodø community site
This is slightly offtopic but take a look at this article in Newsweek (also MSNBC and therefore also MS).
The last sentence is what gets to me: "But for now, she's finished with what she calls the best part of the job--watching real people as they integrate new software into their daily lives." This made me laugh out loud when I read it. If Microsoft wants to be seen as trustworthy they shouldn't use their media outlets to spread this kind of treacle.I can picture the ad now:
It would be pure genius!
"Yeah, well, Dracula called and he's coming over tonight for you and I said okay."
I attended an MS staff meeting with Steve today. This was in front of staff, not customers or journalists.
He was really upset about this incident and was personally handling it. He knows the way people perceive Microsoft and genuinely wants to change the company.
It's a company of 60,000 people, someone will always screw up. But he is trying hard to create a culture of honesty & integrity within the company.
Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
From his colorful languange, I guess Balmer is into sadism. Probably has a few leather bras and Zeplin hats in his closet.
Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, he added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
sounds to me like she should be promoted under this standard! Is the MS code of behavior NOT to misinform, spread FUD, and do it all costs...business ethics and truth be damned? Or is it a new policy that will see Ballmer and Gates weeded out as well?
The ad was in violation of (I pause to compose myself) Microsoft's code of behavior (is there any way I can see that code?), but making a scapegoat of some poor PR rep who was doing her best to put lipstick on the MS pig (tm) is not?
If I shut down IE before running Excel because I don't want my computer to crash during a presentation, will I be castigated as well?
She sounds like Anne-Marie Lambert from Reader's Digest that writes the "Views on Value" advertising column. (Stop laughing - Wired is still my bathroom read-of-choice)
Lots of amusing little quites...
How's that for professionalism? What the hell is a "quite?" --let alone lots of them.
Microsoft Damage Control wraps up two days of debate on Wes Rataushk and Assoc Associates
Microsoft Damage Control in session 17 October - Microsoft Damage Control today wrapped up two days of open debate on PR firm Wes Rataushk and Assoc Associates, with over 40 departments - including all 15 board members - participating in the discussions, which began yesterday and included widespread calls for Valerie G. Mallinson's compliance as well as numerous pleas to avoid a violent confrontation.
Addressing Microsoft today on behalf of the Trustworthy Computing, Mokhtar Lamani hailed Wes Rataushk and Associates's decision to re-admit Microsoft ad inspectors, calling this a "first step" towards a settlement of the issue leading to a lifting of the sanctions.
He recalled that numerous speakers had stressed during Microsoft's meeting that there should be no double standards in term of non-compliance with Microsoft resolutions. "The history of Microsoft testifies to the fact that some of its PR firms have shown defiance of its resolutions - MSNBC is a clear example," he said. "However, Microsoft, including the Microsoft Damage Control did not resort to the use of force against these firms." Citing academic research, he said that firms other than Wes Rataushk and Associates were currently violating more than 90 Microsoft Damage Control resolutions, including 31 dealing with MSNBC.
Speak truth to power.
The Age reports that another employee is being castigated for giving Valerie Mallinson crack in order to get her to write the article in the first place.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
you know the origin of that word? tribes used to take a goat, assign to it all the sin and blame of all the tribe's members and then tie it to a stake and kill it.
the relevance? obviously this ad stunt was done with approval, at least tacit, by microsoft. now, of course, they can claim to be purging "anyone who doesn't meet microsoft's high moral standards." plausible deniability.
grr
And a good thing for the offender this came out now...
At that rate, according to my Webster's, two weeks later and he would have been out of the Casti... and into the Castr...
TELL me they didn't orchestrate that themselves...
"We need something to fight that stupid Apple campaign. Hey! Let's turn the tables on them! Call that PR firm and tell them to make a 'I switched from Apple to XP because...' campaign!"
They're just making a scapegoat to hide the fact that their ad was so STUPID they wanted to blame somebody ELSE for it! That ad was LOADED with crappy Microsoft phrasing.
"Sometimes the truth is stupid." - Lawrence, creator of Prime Intellect
ever single word in the article may have been true. Did anyone ever say otherwise? If an absolutely factual article is "false", how is an absolutely false (except for the sex of the subject) photo not a problem?
The truth doesn't care what I think.
Predictability was another aspect of being trustworthy, he said, ...
I predict MS screws up and lies and produces good enough software from now on, remaining completely un trustworthy. Do I win a prize?
Norris/Palin 2012
Fact: We deserve leaders who can kick your ass and field dress your carcass.
USNews & World Report reported this past summer that the Apple switch ads are questionable. They tried to interview the actual people in the ads, but apparently they are all under NDA.
They were allowed to interview two of them, but only with an Apple representative present. Sounds like they were trying to interview someone living in Iraq?
Furthermore, all of the Apple switchers were paid for their involvement. Who wouldn't switch if they were given a free Powerbook + expenses? Then it also turns out that many of the "switchers" have employment connections with Apple, or work for magazines which receive large amounts of Apple advertising, etc.
It's just kind of interesting. Microsoft's advertising tactics have never been as unethical as what Apple has been doing with the switch campaign, and yet who bears the brunt of the attacks here?
knows how this works. The writer is the absolute lowest man on the totem pole. It's the writer's job to come up with *ideas,* most of which are going to be rejected by the writer's *boss.*
That's the writer's boss's job. To say either, " That's the biggest dumbass thing I've ever seen," or, " Looks good, let's see where it goes."
Right at that point in time the writer is * off the hook.* Period.
And of course at this point the client is brought in and ultimately the client says yea or nay.
Are people really going to believe that some hack writer at a PR firm came up with the campaign, wrote the copy, found the stock picture, wrote the HTML forging an official MS web page, hacked the server and put the page up?
Not only did MS know about what was going on, it wouldn't even have been *possible* without their direct cooperation in the first place.
Hell, the whole reason this thing has come out publicly like it has is because on one read of the copy *everyone,* including my bloody *cat,* knew it was a professionally written bit of PR dogerel. Not very good dogerel at that. Next they'll be saying they're shocked and stunned that an actual 12 year old didn't write that bit that read like undergraduate marketing homework.
I only hope MS has the good sense to 'castigate' the PR firm, not the poor dumb slob of a writer. Like Nissan did with the disasterous " Built for the Human Race Campaign," publicly dismissing the firm, all the while publicly ignoring the fact that someone, VERY high up at Nissan, somewhere along the line looked at the idea and said, " I like it. Go!"
KFG
I've done a bit of searching. Has anyone found a copy of this ad with her picture in it?
I'm quite curious to see it now.
I hope 1984 isn't working to make this an unevent...
Is anyone else reminded on the UNIX switch campaign that Microsoft was a partner in... that was hosted on UNIX servers? ;)
Re:WRONG!!!! She didn't PURCHASE 'office' or 'xp'!
claiming you switched and paid HUNDREDS of dollars for things you ddid not buy is lying!
claiming you want to try a PocketPC when you are already an expert on one is LYING
claiming a windows machine is better than a mac after using both is lying, unless you have some real facts on your side
she is a liar through and through... and I , unlike you, HATE liars and despise people that lie.
must be flamebait, then? strange. all the things that look like flamebait to me in this thread are given +4 "insightful".
The truth doesn't care what I think.
Castigate means to punish.
Castrate means to turn someone into a Eunuch.
Eunuch is the singular form of Unix.;-)
Read the line again my friend.
He said Microsoft's code of behaviour. I don't think anyone will be leaving just yet, but I hear the one guy in the company with an original idea was standing outside with a box of stuff this morning.
It's advertising. Presumably you rant like this every time anyone uses actors to advertise any product.
It's also a piece of fiction. A piece of fiction may be written in the first person.
She did have some real facts on her side. Most of the article is about how to switch easily.
So did Microsoft impose sanctions on themselves when it was found out that during the Microsoft trial letters from a "grassroots campaign" sent to politicians were found to be fake? Was Bill or Steve castigated?
Puhleeese Steve, do you think anybody believes the crap rolling out of your mouth by the bucketfull?
You mean ads aren't true? Someone get me the mayor!
Remember when Bill Gates was presenting Windows 98, and that poor guy showed how the new (innovated, more stable, blah blah) software was able to configure itself with a true PnP?
In front of a gazzillion people, Windows 98 showed its nice blue screen of death, and Bill Gates showed its nice red of shame color. Many speculated that the poor guy was being fired, and MS issued a statement saying that in fact he wasn't. Im these cases, in my opinion the best thing you can do is to shut up, and let the people calm down. Whatever you will do you'll embarass yourself more and more.
I'm really not trolling here, and I'm not advocating MS in any way, but it seems that a lot of otherwise bright people are hung up on this being a Microsoft blunder when this happens everyday in advertising.
When you see an ad on TV for herpes medication, do you think that person really has herpes? Of course not - you couldn't pay anyone enough to do a commercial like that. They are paid actors, and nothing more. They may even hate the product they are selling.
The PR lady is nothing different; she was, in effect, a paid actor. So they made a false testimony, so what? Advertisers do that all the time to drum up business. It seems slimy and under-handed, but it's the way it works most of the time.
"They said I probly shouldn't fly with just one eye," "I am Bender. Please insert girder."
Roger base, this is unit five-delta-niner, approaching target now. over
Roger niner, engage targeting computer. over
Base, targeting computer engaged. We are marked and locked in, I can fire when ready. over
Niner, commence fire at the MCP.
....Base! something's gone wrong, the black and green of the targetting computer has been replaced by blue with a mess of letters and digits, and the bird is misbehaving. I'm losing altitude... eject, eject!
- passion
I mean, who else talks like this?
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
"If that's right, I will certainly castigate the offender."
Castigate, Castigate, Castigate, Castigate
Marketers, Marketers, Marketers, Marketers
Even without a soundtrack or remix, this man is still TEH FUNNEH.
With a petty dictator at it's helm...
Incidentally, Where did she lie?
She may have bought it. Regardless, this is not a major lie, since she certainly did legally acquire a PC with XP installed. She never claimed she spent hundreds of dollars on anything.
Is she an expert on a PocketPC?
Claiming a is beetter than b is opinion. It does not need facts.
Microsoft could FORCE her to use Linux. That would be the worst punishment of all!!
She wasn't that bad looking. I wonder how well she fuc NEVER MIND!!
Are any Lunix companies organised in a way the has them to turning profits of $2.7bn in three months?
Ooo! Ooo! I just thought of this great joke to tell about this story! What? Oh, darn! And I would have been modded up if it hadn't been for those blasted kids!
I used to work in a couple of marketing/design agencies, and still work self-employed in design and marketing. I'd say it is highly unusual to use stock art to represent real people, especially if the people involved are officers of the company -- after all, corporate partners are most likely going to meet these people eventually, so it would make a strange impression on visitors to see that the people don't look like that at all.
I really wonder what your old employer's agency was thinking (smoking?). Using stock art for testimonials is already questionable (people these days are cynical and intelligent enough to notice the difference), using stock art to represent employees and officers is downright stupid.
This is, by the way, why the Apple Switch ads are so effective. The people look believable (especially Ellen Feiss ;-) ) mainly because they aren't rehearsed, look "average" and so on. As a result, they are more likely to be listened to that some celebrity or photo model. Maybe they are faked, but if so, it's a hell of a good fake.
Cheers,
Ethelred
Everyone wants to be Ethelred. Even I want to be Ethelred.
What the hell language is he speaking?
When I saw the Apple switch ads I thought they were well done but likely to be fake.
When I heard that MS picked up the idea I thought it was funny because they were showing how fake it was.
Now we find out they thought they were fooling us?
Last time I checked, all advertising is about telling lies to get us to spend money. Am I wrong? Is it actually possible that I can get a healthy and nutritious lunch at McDonalds this afternoon? All for one low price? Crafted by highly trained people who really care about me? That's what their commercials tell me!
This entire affair seems to be much to do about nothing. Yeah, yeah MS is the Evil Empire so let's laugh at them despite the fact that everyone else does it too.
Grimwell - old, cranky, mean, obsessive
President Gates has recently indicated that he wishes to fully comply with details of the US inspection settlement. We cannot morally seek regime change without first giving the inspectors time to verify compliance with the terms.
Give peace a chance? =p
Anyone ever notice tha anthing that goes slightly wrong anyhere near them, is never their fault? "This PR person we hired, and allowed space on our website, did all of this on her own - and we shall punish!" - so says Mr. Ballmer as he whips out the fabled, Bill-Invented (Yes, they actually did invent something) Microsoft "Black" Notebook with Windows 2000.5 Monopoly Enforcement Edition (Windows MEE) with the exclusive Point-And-Smite interface called "Squish". But I digress. It's interesting how nothing is their fault - an example is could be scan disk after a hard reboot "If Windows was properly shut down..." I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at that accusitory phrase with a variation of: "If you run like a PROPER OS, I wouldn't have to 'salute' you into this dammit!"
-"I ate what?"
We dust off, and nuke em from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure. =)
That article speculates that the "real" people aren't real. Considering that since that time nothing more (anything) has come up as a result of this initial report, you have to conclude that the only thing worthy of question is the article itself.
--- What?
Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, he added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
damn straight! they let themselves get caught red-handed. c'mon, they have a reputation for underhanded tactics that every M$ empoyee is required to strive for or face StevieB, the dancing monkey, for not being scummy enough and letting yourself get caught.
I'm good with numbers -
He will personally castrate the person responsible...I guess the person responsible was a man.
Damn! already replied to this article! LOL
hehe, I'm selling a car from the same year as that UnixPC. The amazing thing is that it has only crashed once in that period of time (it was the deer's fault, i swear), talk about stable. It still runs great, just like your UnixPC. 110HP ought be enough for anybody.
;-)
THERE IS NO DATA. THERE IS O
Jesus fucking christ, I expected the crowd here to have a grasp of the English language beyond the quagmire of technological acronyms... then again I didn't expect a former coke monkey who couldn't find oil in Texas to become the president either.
From m-w.com:
Main Entry: cas-ti-gate
Date: 1607
: to subject to severe punishment, reproof, or criticism
synonym see PUNISH
One entry found for castrate.
Main Entry: cas-trate
Date: 1609
1 a : to deprive of the testes : GELD
1 b : to deprive of the ovaries : SPAY
2 : to render impotent or deprive of vitality especially by psychological means
Looks like Apple wants to make sure no one misses this MS goof. They've updated their Hot News page with a nice link to it.
http://www.apple.com/hotnews/
shame on us / for all we have done / and all we ever were / just zeroes and ones
I know of one company that did even worse than using stock photo images (which I have no problem with). For their 'Testimonials' (which by the way make the Microsoft "ad" look "Trustworthy") they took PORN pics from some web site, cropped them and just kept the face! They didn't looked good when someone started posting the real pics in their forum.
Nobox: Only simple products.
Rick Blaine: How can you close me up? On what grounds? ... shocked to find that gambling is going on in here. ... very much. Everybody out at once!
Capt. Renault: I'm shocked
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Capt. Renault: Oh, thank you
Whatever happened to "Nobody ever got fired for switching to Windows?"
Come to think of it, isn't having to use Windows punishment enough for the poor lady?
Will Ferrell found to not actually be porn star. Parfait, not tasty at all, say experts.
Will Ferrell finds himself under serious scrutiny today as the details of his, once praised, "switch ad" came under fire from Microsoft. According to Steve Ballmer, a senior executive for Microsoft, after an exhaustive search of both the internet and several personal collections, he has not been able to discover any porn featuring Mr. Ferrell. Furthermore, accoeding to several leading parfait experts, the parfait eaten during the commercial was, in their own words, "definitely unlikely to be tasty". Microsoft claims that their interest has nothing to do with recent allegations of misrespresentation in a "switch ad" of their own, and they are only interested in, "promoting and projecting truth to the American people at all times. Neither Mr. Ferrell nor Apple were available for comment.
Well, it is probably fake!
Feloneous
MS is just "MORONS" - ORON
Ballmer should look at the ad itself and fire this dweeb not because she bent the truth, but because the ad was pure garbage.
Wow, does this mean that Microsoft will have to find someone who has actually switched from the mac to windows? Good luck..
The hypocrisy here is blinding. Apple runs switch ads so insulting to the intelligence that you wonder what kind of people might actually believe the drivel Apple paid these people to say...and a Microsoft employee decides to get "cute" and run a pun--but nobody has a sense of humor--the pun gets canned, the employee "sanctioned"--and the whole point of the pun is lost. It's horrific--the lack of a sense of humor in some people.
It's really scary sometimes. Talk about Microsoft "taking over the world" was always pretty funny to me (take it over how, through "Microsoft Bob" or the "Impotent Internet" that's all bark and no bite?) But now I see some people take all of that nonsense seriously...! Good grief, Microsoft doesn't even compete with Apple--and I don't mean just the relative size of the companies. Microsoft is a software company, Apple is a hardware company. Frankly, with as much guff as Microsoft suffers from the "Apple community" through making software to support Apple's OS and hardware, I don't know why Microsoft puts up with it. The sheer aggravation of it all isn't worth the tiny fragment of their sales that go to the Apple community. Worst of all, though, is that no one has a sense of humor anymore.
No one was ever fired for choosing Mircosoft. Mwahahahah
Why, this was one rouge contractor...
And boy, are their faces red.
informative/insightful!
If Bill wanted too he could do this, buy a small country and make it 'MicrosoftLand'.
And still have enough left over to protect it.
Cant enforce things like DMCA, copyright, GPL or Antitrust if they are a different country totally..
Umm wasnt there a story like that sometime ago? About a company that got so large it beacame a country? Larry Niven perhaps??
---- Booth was a patriot ----
Or to put it correctly, a user buried and responsible for a major spread of that virus.
Somehow I don't associate "Trustworthy" with either "Microsoft" or Advertising.
Of course there was was a comic routine where some corporation was going to add something that would fix things to the box but not the product.
So look for the "Trustworthy Computing" ad campaign saying you are imagining all the problems with your computer and credit card info being on the internet.
I think we are progressing well in terms of executing on the principle but the proof will be in the pudding - I don't anybody to expect it until they see it.
What?
Or maybe that's what Ballmer really said who knows?
this sig is deprecated
Yes, she will be punished for doing what they told her to do. Nothing new here, I don't know anyone who made a living doing what M$ wanted them to do, do you? If nothing else, her improvement plan to actually use XP will so screw her up she will be terminated in six weeks.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Am disgusted. Unless she was acting contrary to her orders, there is no reason she should have any action taken against her.
It was a perfectly valid campaign, while funny and horribly made, there was nothing *ethically* wrong with what they did (does anyone get upset over 9/10 dentists... anymore?). I feel MS should come up with some stricter advertising policies if they feel this was in error, to take action against a worker just doing her job is unethical.
I live in a giant bucket.
I'm told that drugs make people immoral, but I had no idea they could be that bad. Isn't it against federal law to distrubute that kind of stuff? Mr. Ballmer should report to fitness for duty right away.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Reminds me of the end of Robocop 2...
"Well, she did pick the brain."
All I want is a kind word, a warm bed and unlimited power.
Can we bump the above any HIGHER?????
Yep, there's no way she's using XP. No real writer would tollerate a word processor that auto corrects and auto formats, much less on that does it wrong every time and imposes itself as your email editor too. Ever see a list like this:
1, item 1
2, item 2?
That's the only way to keep Word from making an auto list that forces you to start all over again. It's bad enough using that shit as an engineer. A person who's primary job is writing would never be able get anything done like that. What were they thinking?
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
The use of stock photography doesn't prove ugliness, just a desire for anonymity. If someone gave me an XP laptop and told to write an article that made me look like an ordinary customer switching to XP, I would be anonymous too!
My guess is that she looks average, and would have fit in better with the whole "switch" concept with a real photo. I don't see any of the Apple "switchers" working as letter-turners on "Wheel of Fortune".
IMHO, this whole "switch" fiasco is an example of Microsoft's "embrace and extend" strategy:
Hm, sounds like ms. Mallinson has a job opening at Microsoft as soon as they get rid of all the wussies.
E
Marxist evolution is just N generations away!
The title "Microsoft may sanction the 'Switcher' PR-Rep" is misleading because the word "sanction" is misused. We're used to hearing "sanction" as a noun (as in "The UN-imposed sanctions on Iraq"), but when used as a verb, sanction has almost the completely opposite meaning - to approve of, condon.
So the title suggests Microsoft is pleased with the whole thing, not that the they going to punish anyone.
Every so often for no reason, the beer would turn blue and go flat...
mmm... blue beer - phorm
As I said you buy a mac and your company will die. If you look in the pictures of the Rosie offices they are full of macs. In this case the political battle was between the mac heads and the bean counters.
MS marketing dropped the ball as usual.
Now is the perfect time to launch an "I didn't need to switch because I got it right the first time" campaign.
Do they jump on this opportunity? Noooooohhh...
"Although not referring specifically to the Mallinson case, [Steve Ballmer] added it may be necessary to 'weed out' employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour."
(from the article)
And in Related news, Microsoft is to hire as many retired ex-Nazis as they can find.
Ed R.Zahurak
You know, oblivion keeps looking better every day.
Does anyone at Microsoft possibly think it might be a good idea to just walk away from this and stop drawing attention to this embarrassment?
--Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
Sorry, bzzzt!
Apparently standard practice in the advertising industry is to pay everyone who appears in a commercial, no matter what the principal says. Those actors in commercials get paid too!
It's some sort of liability thing, because by being paid they have "consideration", in the legal sense of the word. Basically it means that they took the money, so they can't sue later.
Nice try, though! Maybe if Apple had actually made someone up out of whole cloth, you might have had a point. But unfortunately, everyone in the "Switch" campaign is real.
Some quites,
... Microsoft's attempts to turn around its unscrupulous image...
also
[H]e added it may be necessary to "weed out" employees who did not live up to Microsoft's code of behaviour.
So are they trying to improve or not?
The Supreme Court got it wrong. Corporations aren't people; they're governments. What's worse, they are unelected governments. They must therefore be subjected to checks and balances imposed by elected government. Otherwise, there can be no democracy -- only a corporatocracy.
http://www.apple.com/hotnews/
They link to the NY Times article about it and even mention Slashdot there. Apple didn't add any of their own digs, but you could just see the monumental smirk that must have been on Steve Job's face when they posted that to the page.
--Won't that be grand? Computers and the programs will start thinking and the people will stop. - Dr. Walter Gibbs
That's OK, I saw an AT&T Broadband TV ad with a series of "happy users" talking about their great service - I recognized one of them as Daniel Dae Kim, best known in the role of Lieutenant John Matheson on the Babylon 5 spin-off, "Crusade.". I thought Kim was excellent on that show.
In Baseball, its called taking one for the team.
I dunno. I gotta think this all comes down to laziness. The switch testimonial was a piece of crap, it used a chunk of the Outlook manual and had a photodisc image and was written by a flack.
I went to journalism school. The guys/girls who didn't make it into journalism afterward became ad flacks. I think the ads are just pure laziness due to taking a large customer like Microsoft for granted instead of doing a proper campaign. I've seen marketing contracts and good god, they require huge retainers and have no acountability in them.
The ads were probably spun out in the course of an afternoon.
PS. I am not pro-Microsoft. I am just pro-realism. I imagine Microsoft people are just as lazy.
"I got a piece of mail that was vague that the assertion is some marketing person did something that was not entirely straightforward," Ballmer said.
In other words, he was "shocked, SHOCKED" to hear that unscrupulous marketing activities were going on at Microsoft.
JoAnn
Here is a flag.
;-)
or this flag,
or how about This!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
-- The Doctor, "Doctor
since the article is no longer in its cache. Fortunately, there's a mirror at scripting.com for those who haven't already grabbed this for desktop wallpaper.
I we sure Steve Ballmer exists? Maybe he's just another one of Microsoft's clip-art fantasies. Have *you* ever seen him in person?
-- Dave
Making fun of dumb people since 2009
My middle name is "Doogie Freaking Howser" and I'll thank you not to make fun of it. It's a family name. My great great uncle Doogie Freaking Howser of the Boston Freaking Howsers was a prominant captain of industry, selling beaver hats or snuff whatever it is people did in boston ~ 100 years ago.
If there's one thing that Bill Gates & Co. are good at it's marketing. It is inconceivable that the suits at Microsoft were not aware of the particulars of the campaign. At the very least, they saw it before it was approved for public consumption. That they are now taking action that could jeopardize this woman's job is inexcusable.
Have you not heard of .net?
The end is coming my friend!
Chicago2600.net more than a lifestyle, its a survival trait.
There would have to be 2 versions of the beer.
The home version that would come prepackaged with football games, college schedules and WWE wrestling event tickets.
And the Pro version that would cost more, but the power users wouldn't mind.
Just make sure you have c.o.a. stickers on the bottles!
Chicago2600.net more than a lifestyle, its a survival trait.
As a digital artist I had been working on macs for years. Over time the tools became available for both platforms. Three years ago, before OS X, macs used to crash all the time. They were also a bit too expensive. So I reluctantly Switched. Windows 2000 is pretty much a piece of trash, but at the time it was the best option. I don't use it because I like it, but because the software I need (maya) runs on it. Just recently I bought a new pc, not because I think XP doesn't suck, but because I couldn't afford what I really wanted, so I settle for a cheap, second best piece of junk I have to reboot daily. Luckily, I have a tiBook as well, to remind me what computers are meant to be like.
I'm Stephen, and I'm a digital artist.
Sig removed because it was obnoxious
You mean, like, the Eiger Sanction?!?!?
Will Clint Eastwood be involved?
There is such a user in many config samples found on the net in Microsoft related technologies.
i n_examples.htm
, Dc=com
Below is an example where a user "James Cook" jamesc@microsoft.com uses the name Don Funk, (this time Don Funk is in Marketing!)
James Cook, as far as I remember is dead since 200+ years, so Don Funk is propably just a test name
Sample text from http://www.tburke.net/info/suptools/topics/repadm
------
(0) add CN=Don Funk,OU=Marketing,DC=microsoft,Dc=com
1> parentGUID: 69fbe37a-abff-4eec-81ce-79017142405f
1> objectGUID: 7099ec39-ac5c-4462-b2b4-3ae9670eb43a
4> objectClass: top; person; organizationalPerson; user
1> sn: Cook
1> givenName: James
1> instanceType: 4
1> whenCreated: 19990826191951.0Z
1> displayName: Don Funk
1> nTSecurityDescriptor:
1> name: Don Funk
1> userAccountControl: 512
1> codePage: 0
1> countryCode: 0
1> pwdLastSet: 125801687928437500
1> primaryGroupID: 513
1> objectSid:
1> accountExpires: 9223372036854775807
1> sAMAccountName: jamesc
1> sAMAccountType: 805306368
1> userPrincipalName: jamesc@microsoft.com
1> objectCategory: CN=Person,CN=Schema,CN=Configuration,DC=microsoft
----
Not certain why this was moderated as a both a "Troll" and "Offtopic" - I suppose the moderators may think I was making this up, but it is TRUE, Will Ferrell (of Saturday Night Live) did make a Switch ad which played at the opening of Job's Keynote last MacWorld New York which my post linked to.
Poor moderation me thinks
I only came here to do two things; kick some ass, and drink some beer...looks like we're almost out of beer.
In all honesty, this is one of the most reasonable bits I've heard from Ballmer. With the exception of the "castigate" comment, nothing came off as unreasonable or rediculous.
I mean, he even admits that they have a lot of work ahead of them to change the public's perception of the company, due to some of their questionable actions. He even admits that their *licensing* changes were a reason for people to not trust them.
This doesn't sound like Ballmer... Maybe they started him on Ritalin?
--Jeremy
Jesus was a liberal
For those that don't yet know, Ellen Feiss' fan club is at ellenfeiss.net.
bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep
cpeterso
I thought all k-rad hardcore Linux folx didn't have girlfriends. We too busy hacking code, hacking government sites, hacking off microsloft with our k-rad leet softwarez, or otherwise doing something with computers. So we just beat off.
Oh now I get it: since we like Linux, it gives us the ONE HANDED CLAP!
(Of course I'm posting anonymously: it might be a joke, but I admit it's a lame joke.)
Except Redmond is land owned by the United States. Not Microsoft. Really I don't think I'd like seeing a squadron of Harriers over my town, and no I don't work for Them. I'm a Unix sysadmin and a Mac OS X/FreeBSD user that works for a small company.
...you might as well have some fun with testimonials.
This is one of the few things that made me laugh this month. Classic.
www.blackpeopleloveus.com
It's funny because it's true
I was so shocked when I heard on a local radio station in Australia about how Microsoft had been caught out "by the geeks at the slashdot.org website."
Roger niner, engage targeting computer. over
Turn off the targeting computer. Use the Force. Duh.
Personally, I have to put up with NT 4.0 SVCPK 5 at work and have had to for years at various sites and for various clients.
And forget about that multi-media crap. The CD-ROMs in those puppies don't even have jacks for earphones.
We're pretty fuckin' sick of this crap and there is no fuckin' way me and about 15,000 other micro-serfs are going to put up with MicroSnot at home.
As a 3 Mac and 1 Linux box owner, I can hopmestly say, I'd sooner rip my testicles out of my scrotum with a cork-screw before letting one of those boxes into my home.
If I have to I use a Citrix client on one of my OS X boxes to work from home.
Switch?
To a MicroSnot box?
Bwahahahahahaha...
Can you say "NO FUCKING WAY!" ?
MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
I would love to see MS suing this woman... and testifying under oath that this woman did all this on her own, without the knowledge and approval of MS :)
I really, really would like to hear this testimony under oath by Microsoft.
The only time I was forced to reboot XP was after the service pack install.
What about when using a laptop computer, and XP's "hibernation" feature doesn't work 100% with your hardware? In that case, you have to reboot the computer every time you move it from place to place. (It's not safe to jostle a hard drive whose platters are spinning.)
Will I retire or break 10K?
"...you couldn't pay anyone enough to do a commercial like that. They are paid actors, and nothing more. They may even hate the product they are selling."
Are you suggesting that Bob Dole doesn't actually use Viagra?
How does using a Mac make the company that uses them dead?
Whatever, I'm probably replying to someone completely clueless or a troll. Knowing some of the people here, I'll bet on the former.
Don't forget the reason Mr Balmer is down here in Australia right now... to address the threat of Telstra (Microsoft's biggest customer in Southern Hemisphere) SWITCHING to Linux.
http://www.itnews.com.au/story.cfm?ID=10596
It would be nice if they did...
pi seconds is a nanocentury
That's bullshit, nobody switches from Macintosh to Windows!
-- I was raised on the command line, bitch
I know this story is already old news, but oh well.
Maybe I should send Microsoft my switch from Mac to Windows testimony?
I switched from a really old 680LC40 Macintosh running system 7.5.5 to a P3 @ 350Mhz running Windows 98 (first lousy addition.) I was kinda impressed by the computer until I turned it on.
Just clicking on stuff and looking around make it crash. The next Windows Mis-feature I delt with was that unlike the mac, if I move a a file, it's alias (Microsoft perfers the term shortcut) becomes broken.
This is kinda minor, but giving a folder an icon is a pain under Windows.
Then there is the system folder itself. On a Macintosh it usually is not very dificult to figure out what everything is. The Finder is your file browser, the extensions are usually named something sane, and on windows everything has a cryptic name! WTF is cmd640X2.dll for?! And has anyone seen any MS documentation on now to use HWINFO.EXE? You double click that one and nothing happens, or does it?
I could go on and on, but what it really comes down to are these few things:
* I had less problems with my Mac.
* I spent less time fixing my Mac.
* Whatever software I needed was available for my Mac. (I am not a gamer or in need of some sort of special software.)
* I was more productive on the Mac.
* The Mac didn't eat memory and disk space for breakfast.
* Because of system extensions, I could make my Mac do only the very basics (be lean and mean), or use every bell, whistle, and Talking Moose (be a fat memory hog, yet still more stable than Windies every few hours).
* We had the money to buy a Mac.
So what about my Macroshil Windies 98 system? Well until I replace that lousy win-modem I need it to access the Internet and my two other PCs are running GNU/Linux.
Yes, I switched from Mac to Windows and have regretted it ever since (except for the part where I am slowly replacing Window with Linux.)
Losing faith in humanity one person at a time.
- The first sentence of this ad was "It's the truth."
I don't believe in the Easter Bunny, and I know most first-person ads are fictional. Some, however, are real testimonials, and Microsoft gave the go-ahead for an ad that did everything possible to claim to be one.In addition to all those personal details about her husband, her height, etc., how about that "Girl Scouts honor" line?
When confronted, MS spokeswoman told AP story was about a real switcher.
When confronted, Mallinson told AP she was the real switcher. If she were really an 8-year Mac veteran, she would not get excited about spending a day setting up a new computer and re-installing software after crashes.
Making trouble today for a better tomorrow...
Mean old Microsoft also took down that little kid's personal testimonial to Encarta. There's a pretty funny account at The Register.
Making trouble today for a better tomorrow...
Given the number of posts talking about how only females can be "castigated" - get it straight! Castigation is not the same thing as castration!
A social scientist, studying the culture and traditions of a small North
African tribe, found a woman still practicing the ancient art of matchmaking.
Locally, she was known as the Moor, the marrier.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...