Slashdot Mirror
Adding Background Noise To Your Phone Call
lww writes "By way of a Gizmodo article, you can now add your own background noise to a cell phone call. A company called Simeda is offering a product called SounderCover that allows you to play selected background noises such as traffic, construction, and even the dentist during your phone call. The possibilities are endless! 'Hi honey, I'm going to be late -- I'm stuck in the middle of a circus parade...Bye! Hey Joe, another round for me and the boys...what? Oh, whoops *click*'"
Now I can talk on the phone while having sex... I'll just play some nice traffic jam noises... No one will be any wiser!
.
And, you can make them yourself, and play them in the background. This would be exceptionally useful on the car cellphone, where you typically have stereo surround sound.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
that makes my phone sound like it's losing the connection so I can get out of boring conversations easily.
Next step...hold music! I would PAY for that on my P900. Doubt it's possible though.
There is no gravity...the earth just sucks.
AT&T had a product like this in 1967 !!
Now you can play noises of having sex while you talk on the phone.
My girlfriend was asking for one of these nokia 60 phones.
Just don't get 'pulled over' after 'speeding'.
I've got more mod points and GMail invi
This is perfect for you guys on a leash out there, however, if my SO wouldn't let me go to the bar after work, she wouldn't be around much longer. What is wrong with simple communication and understanding in relationships today??
//Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
i need datacenter background
Does it have a silent backgoud noise so that the other person can actually hear me?
thelikesofwhich.com
I'd find another use for that Godzilla
I guess this is the next form of spoofing.
Hello, uh boss im kinda stuck in traffic; *honking noise* whats that, i missed the meeting. Darn, i guess i will just have to get the details later. *goes back to playing GTA Vice city*
A Fatal OE Exception has occurred, Sig will now reboot.
Sex sound dial?
;-)
Whoops! Telemarketer called. With the OHGODYES!!WoW!AAAAAAAaaaaa... in the background, theyre going to hang up preeeeety quick
Course, if your wife calls wit hthis setting on. Uh-oh.
The Subject line should have been: No wonder... ARGGHHHHHH Must preview Must preview must preview must preview must preview must preview must preview
You're special forces then? That's great! I just love your olympics!
"Hi! Hey, I'm at a really swinging party right now, but sure I think I can pull myself away for a bit!"
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Play keyboard clicking sounds when he calls me on the phone so it sounds like I'm working.... :)
Until this came along.
A special setting will allow owners of 3G phones to select the video background of their choice before answering a call.
"Hi honey... I'm just in church. Be home soon."
Do you or your partner snore? - Visit www.snoring.com.au
"Honey, who was that moaning in the background when I called you earlier?"
"No one, baby. It's just one of those silly background noises you can download."
What doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable
Go ahead, mod me -1 Troll, but isn't it just abusing people's trust to trick them with excuses like "I'm stuck in traffic" when you really have no good excuse.
This would seem to be the perfect additional functionality to the proposed video cell phone technology proposed by a Hong Kong company that would enable users to set a background picture of there choice. Having the righ background noise would make much more effective. Here's the missing ??? before profit!
I've finally got around to changing my sig
Ok, so who exactly is the targeted audience for this?
Construction workers that cheat on their wives that tell them they're working on a Saturday?
I really don't get it.
..
..
..
..
..
..
SHOWER! SHOWER! SHOWER!.....
From excellent karma to terible karma with a single +5 funny post...
if i can add a background description of what i'm doing together with my post.
eg:
geez! M$ sucks
[..maliabu is coding a project...]
The Circus Parade MP3 was a very savvy marketing move. Considering that most people in technology (the obvious target demographic) work at freakshows, it should come in quite handy.
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
Einstein Express: "For when it absolutely, positively has to be there the day before yesterday".
and then they proceed to show workers back-dating it and then beating the crap out of the package, while stamping with the postmark of four third-world countries or something.
So close and yet so far from the world's perfect ID number
Hey, Honey, I know the FBI is listening in right now, but I'm stuck in the middle of a steganographic stampede! There are stegonographers everywhere!
fifth sigma, inc.
...sound here will get busted. Too many horns. I'd know it was fake and I'd think most people would.
I've learned this trick works well with both annoying ex-girlfriends and customers...
At the end of a long conversation walk into your bathroom and flush the toilet. Keep the phone about five feet away from the toilet so that it's audible but not blatant. Do that everytime you end your conversation with the person.
Eventually they stop calling.
I would just like you to know that that was the lamest joke I have read all day. No, all week.
find / -name "*.sig" | xargs rm
The music at the strip club is always so LOUD when my wife calls!
... wonderful idea. Look for it to be integrated by Nokia in a few months.... prol'y a good money-maker too, I bet you could sell lots of background noises at $0.75 per download.
Start recording your own noises now, so that you can be first to go live with a downloadable noise web store!
No wait, this is SlashDot... we need GPL'ed noises. Then we can sue SCO when they go into the cell phone business and start stealing our noises after their litigation business collapses.
Ha! In Soviet Russia, background noises *you*! Oh... wait, that didn't work either. Sheesh. I'm giving up.
I've learned this trick works well with both annoying ex-girlfriends and customers...
At the end of a long conversation walk into your bathroom and flush the toilet. Keep the phone about five feet away from the toilet so that it's audible but not blatant. Do that everytime you end your conversation with the person.
Eventually they stop calling.
I've never actually laughed at anything posted on slashdot until today. That quote made me laugh out loud.
'Hi honey, I'm going to be late -- I'm stuck in the middle of a circus parade...Bye! Hey Joe, another round for me and the boys...what? Oh, whoops *click*
You can always tell the "foreigners," by the honking of their horns. And the hilarious looks on their faces when they get passed on the right side (which is considered normal driving behavior around here)...
A traffic jam etc isn't too beleiveable when you live in a small(ish) city like me :( I want TRACTOR sounds dammit!
Course, ambient noise itself is readily available... everywhere, waiting for you to record it.
This sentence's period was stolen This sentence knows who took it:
My wife doesn't understand my desire to have sex with other women either, no matter how often I communicate it to her!
I remember watching a TV show about a pub (probably in Britain) that had a soundproof phone booth and a selection of background noises you could play while using it. I thought this was an excellent service for any pub to provid for its patrons :)
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I've been waiting for this to come about ever since reading The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert A. Heinlein. In it, a computer (as in the kind you build a room around, not the kind you carry into a room, it's an old book) renders its own videophone calls to simulate a person's office, including all the proper background noise, even taking into account the general location of where the office should be, and computing noise based on traffic reports. (And even those little white lies, such as his "secretary" picking up, "He's in a meeting right now," *flushing sound in background* "Oh, looks like he's just finishing up, would you like to hold?")
I couldn't find it with a quick Google, but this is almost just like something I read about several years ago.
It was a special "phone booth" that was targetted for bars and other places. Had special sounds like "Office chatter", "traffic", etc. I don't remember if it was a full booth (and soundproof) or not. I think it had like 4 or 6 sounds you could choose from. Of course, you had to pay for it, I think a $1 or $2 for the call. Never did get to see one in person.
I think I read about this about 10 years ago. Anyone else remember hearing (or better yet, see in person) one of these phone booths?
Just like this software it was meant to fool the people your talking to into thinking your somewhere else.
. 62,400 repetitions make one truth -- Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
You've never been to Sicilia, haven't you?
Do that have one that keeps saying in a sultry voice, "Honey, please come back to bed, we weren't finished yet!"? I'd want to use that when my ex calls...
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
Union Federal rules!
Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
You, my friend, have obviously never been to New York City...
-- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? - Uli's moose
They have 4 soundproof booths (about 4 times the size of a typical american phone booth) with payphones in them at a local gentleman's club (aka a high-dollar strip club with boutique, 4-star restaurant, salon). Each booth has an "alibi machine" in it with a knob for baseball game, traffic, and a few other alibis while you call your wife (or boss) and explain that you'll be late. I have used the sounds a few times, but only in jest, of course.
The truth doesn't care what I think.
Ring!!! [Takes phone out] Ring!!! [Clicks little green phone] Hello, please hold for one second [Silence] [Traffic noises abruptly begin] Hi, sorry, I can't talk long, I'm stuck in traffic right now. [Traffic noises abruptly stop] Click
My brother used to do this all the time while he was an outside salesman with a three state route:
1. roll out of motel bed way late with raging hangover
2. turn on television and tune to a frequency with static
3. turn volume way up and phone work assuring then that you're already on the road to your first appointment
The static sounds just like wind / road noise while driving.
__ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
If ya have a mare, ya won't want a girl. ;-)
yummy.
mod parent
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Sorry Dear, I can't hear you!
I'm stuck in a Movieoke Bar!
I'll be home as soon as we're done with Episode I!
Meesa playing Jar Jar!
Great Scott and a Lesser Mick! You may be onto something there!
Or a male dog. Yummy!
Especially "gentlemens clubs", a special room where there are pay phones and sound machines. Tell the wife you're calling from the ER waiting room, Traffic Jam, Ball Game, whatever while you're putting money and your face in between luscious giant breasts.
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
how do you stop a fish from smelling? cut off it's nose. thank you. and I win.
I really must protest. This new product from Simedia aims to give circuses everywhere a black eye. This product (if you can call it that) works with the popular Nokia 7650 and 3650 series of phones to provide callers with fake background noise. Now, this alone does not bother me. If people what to lie about where they are, thats up to them. What bothers me is the company is encouraging people to pretend that they are caught at a circus parade. Don't circuses get blaimed for enough traffic messes?
Oh, wait. I could use this. Every one would think I was at the show when I called. Maybe it's not such a bad idea...
SounderCover is available for immediate purchase for the price of 14.95 and a demo version is available for download.
"'Hi honey, I'm going to be late -- I'm stuck in the middle of a circus parade...Bye! "
"Not according to the GPS receiver in your phone you're not."
+1 Insightful!! ROFL :)
---- Den ene knappen er powerknapp, den andre er Bender voice knapp "Bite My Shiny Metal Ass"
I downloaded the demo version and installed it yesterday. It does exactly what it advertises, but I have a hard time believing that there's 15 euro worth of value in there. 4 euro would probably be pushing it. Postcardware is probably more approriate.
I wonder if it can be used to foil the automated phone taps that constantly listen for phrases like "plastic explosives", "meth lab" or "I hate George Bush"...
Slashdot Eds Link Anonymous Posts With Logged Posts
They Are Vermin Feeding On Each Other's Feces.
I Hate \.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
What about porn movie? That'd be pretty funny.
What's so bad about being lazy? What if there was a war and nobody showed up?
As part of 2G services and onward, in an effort to conserve maximum bandwidth, cell phones don't transmit during the time you're not talking. (Which is why you can get weird choppy-sounding conversations).
Background noise is synthesized at the receiving end based on random samples taken every few seconds at the transmitting end.
Easier to burden the receiver with the task of generating fake noise that burden the network with the transmissal of said noise.
I'm interested if this broadcasts the synthesized background full time from the transmitter...if so, it's going to kill the cell network capacity in areas where phones fitted with this are used.
Boycott everything - they're all trying to fuck you one way or another
Be nice to have something kind of the opposite to this for your mobile. You DON'T hear ANY ambient noise. In fact, it'd be nice if your mobile emitted some kind of field like the Babylon 5 "private conversation booths". No more hearing people shout "I'm on the bus". Even better, no more having to shout "I'm on the bus".
-- *~()____) This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...
Well, any idiot with a Washington or Idaho plate doing 55 in the left lane is certainly going to get passed on the right. And yes, it is always the bozo with WA or ID plates. The guy with the CA plate is doing 90 and passing people on the shoulder...
Including "birdspark.amr" as a choice. Lord knows how many avian pyromaniacs will buy right into this.
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
Recording it is probably contrary to the DMCA.
Wasn't it the song "The Call" from the Backstreet Boys that started this trend? Windows Media Player sample Real Player sample
The only thing necessary for Micro$oft to triumph is for a few good programmers to do nothing". North County Computers
Ever heard a cell phone call with real background noise? It does not survive the vocoding process well, and if it's loud enough it will hash up the encoding of the caller's voice to the point of being unintelligible.
--- Ban humanity.
About bloody time... My marriage could have used this 5 years ago. May not have cost me (as Eddie Murphy puts it) HALF!
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed are not the responsiblity of the user, as I probably stole them anyway
...to either just "tell the truth" or play the "what they don't know can't hurt them" games. And the best part is that a company like this has found another way to profit off other people's pain -not that profiting from people's pain is anything new- in a novel way.... I've been down the roads of deception and truth with a wife who was kinda going over the deep end... Telling the truth would earn me days if not weeks of her stomping around the house pissed at me for something as simple as a buddy stopping by to show off a new toy. It only took a couple years of this (as I slowly stopped doing more and more of the things I enjoyed) before I started trying the deception approach. This too has it's curses, namely, living with your own lies, keeping them straight, not getting caught, and giving the other person an actual reason not to trust you. And to those of you who have said "she'd be out of my life," well. that is what finally came to pass. This too is not an easy road, two years in court, fighting for custody of my kids, having to pay her significant child support even though I had 50% custody in the end, the fun life, ya know? The good news is, somewhere along the way she came to her senses... not sure what happened, but we tried again just before the divorce was final, and these days, I do what I want without complaints. And now that I'm totally off topic: I'd probably have purchassed this product 5 years ago, but today I'm just laughing at them.
Now today's vocoders are a lot better than they used to be, but I have a friend who calls from his car a lot with music on the radio. The music gets completely destroyed by the codec.
--- Ban humanity.
Blonde chick with cute pussy
I always thought it would be cool to have a set of network messages that you could have played instead of picking up - eg "We're sorry, the network is currently busy, please try again later" that way its totally not your fault. Also a bad signal or fault simulator would be great - so even if its you calling them, you can make it sound like somethings wrong and even have the phone cut out with an authentic sounding message about some kind of technical problem. Failing that, pulling the battery out nicely simulates going on the tube, until they get all the ariels down there.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
Was the exact same idea.
;)
In the heyday of the Video Arcade, "The Excuse Booth" was one of the coin-op manufacturer's attempts to bring this to the public.
It was a sealed closet-like booth (similar to the 4-for a dollar foto booths), soundproofed with carpeting on the inside, a seat board, and a payphone. There was also a control panel and coin acceptor for the background sound.
The backgrounds were provided by a bank of 8-Track type cartridges (actually they were the professional recording/radio studio type ones), and were fed through a reasonably high fidelity audio system to speakers in the booth. There were 12 or 16 or so backgrounds, Office, Jail, Streetcorner, Bar, Party, etc. A dollar would get you 5 minutes or so of background sound.
I used to work for one of the major Video Arcade manufacturers in a former life, and we got one in to evaluate. I can't remember who made it exactly, but we analyzed all the competition's stuff anyway. After that, it sat around the warehouse for a long time and just got used by various engineers for smoking joints in
-- You are in a maze of little, twisty passages, all different... --
Last weekend I drove the I5 from the Canadian border to Portland and back. Everybody on the road was driving in the lane next to the HOV lane, or in the left lane when there wasn't an HOV. Now that I know that passing on the right is expected behavior, I will stay in the right hand lane and cut 10-20% off my travel time.
Thanks for the tip.
I have three different recordings on my hard drive right now. The first is freeway traffic, lasting 7 minutes, second is a waiting room at UC Davis medical center, and third is downtown traffic recorded from a street corner. All of these mp3 files are about 7 minutes long, and sound pretty good played with Winamp. I find I can usually make a good enough excuse in 4 minutes of phone conversation to cover my butt with my boss. I never even considered that I could sell these, I have been GIVING them away. I wonder if I could sue someone???
Today's show is brought to you by the number 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0: 25
It's considered normal by the drivers, but in my experience the Washington state troopers will ticket you if they catch you doing it. Once you are significantly south of Tacoma it's fairly safe to open it up the rest of the way to Portland.
Once you hit Oregon, though, the cops will practically smoke a joint with you as long as you're not waving a gun around or something like that... (STATE cops, don't try any funny stuff with Portland city cops :-) )
If it can give me an Indian accent, then maybe I can finally get a tech job.
hell, she called me twice so far this week!
... definitely predicted this kind of product (rather specifically) as well as several other work-preventing tools.
Perhaps this'll make me into a better liar. :)
I thrive to improve such a talent
Too bad a traffic jam that readlly sounded like that would eventually lead to gun fire. No one constantly hits the horn in real traffic...
"Sorry mom, can't come home now. The NSEA Protector's under attack!" *PShwww CRACK!!*
"Derp de derp."
....if Jayson Blair of the NY Times was an early tester.
"Why yes, I am in Virginia - can't you hear the bubbas?"
At a previous job, before I was laid off (our parent company was shutting down all of our branch offices), I was partially responsible for a couple of our sites and our data center. I had absolutely no accountability (my boss was on the other side of the country) during the last two or three weeks before my layoff date, so one day I decided to take a day off and stay home without letting anyone know just to see if I could get away with it.
Surprise, someone called me up on my cell phone from one of the branch sites with an issue. Not intentionally, because I was sitting right next to my computer (in which the case fans were very loud), he just assumed I was working away in the datacenter and I just ended up playing along with it!
ROFLMAO
Hoax background noises wouldn't have saved this guy ...:
"The first divorce directly related to the September 11th terrorist attacks has been filed in New York. It appears a guy with an office on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Center spent the morning at his girlfriend's apartment wit his phone turned off. He wasn't watching TV either. When he turned his phone back on at about 11am, it rang immediately. It was his hysterical wife, "Are you OK? Where are you?" He said, "What do you mean? I'm in my office of course!"
Source
-kgj
-kgj
Me and my friends have been doing this to each other for years. It normally goes something like this.
* I answer my mobile
* One friend turns TV/Stereo up
* Another starts moaning "Tom, come back to bed"
* First starts saying "Background noise, background noise, background noise
I also remember seeing a beer ad a couple of years where a bunch a guys are in a bar, and one of gets a call from his wife, his mates proceed to make noises of paper shuffling and other office noises.
It's low tech but can work really effectively.
I think this internet thing sounds like a good idea
How about I break your face instead?
I don't use mobile phones. But I get calls from people who do. Not a one of them sounds good, and most sound poor. But by golly, now they've got technology to make them sound all the worse! I'm so pleased. It's another Sign of the End Times, folks. The marketoids are selling us things designed specifically to make life worse.
So, how about something that will degrade the picture on my TV too? That pesky clear picture is such a bother. Oh, hey, and traffic on the highway isn't bad enough! How about some robotic cars that will drive too slow and shift lanes without warning?
"Please tell me Mr. Sagan, are we ever gonna get out of this planet alive?" -- Paul Kantner, Planet Earth Rock-n-Roll Orchestra
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
Back in the 80's there was this thing in a lot of bars called the "Excuse Booth". Basically, it was a phone booth with recorded background noises. So you could call from a bar and explain that you had to pickup a friend unexpectedly at the train station.
Save time now so you can waste it later
Yusen, a subscription music service, had so many free channels that a while ago they had two channels for this purpose: one that played sounds of a busy Tokyo train station, and another that played the sounds of an office. Turn on Yusen loud enough at your mistress' home, call your wife, and your have your proverbial cover.
Then again, Yusen also had a channel of someone counting sheep. (I'm not making this up.) I think they got up to about 18,000 before the recording looped.
"But always she's the spectre of uncertainty I first endured, then faded, then embraced..."
now crime scene investigation people who need to listen to background noise to see where a criminal was, or any agencies trying to hunt down say, the next unibomber or terrorist wont be able to track him from background noise... good one!
Cell phone compression won't carry the voice well in the presence of background noise. Cell phone data rates are very low.
I actually had first written "except maybe in manhattan or something" but for some reason I backspaced it away before I hit post.
I have been to NY, and the memory of its obnoxious drivers makes me appreciate living in San Francisco.
...or at least in one of the old compilation paperback books of MAD gags. It was a piece on telephones of the future, and there was this phone with all these pushbuttons to add various sound effects like "coughing" "office" "dentist" and so on.
Once again, life imitates art.
Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
Of course you blow all credibility if you try convincing anyone you answered or made a call during sex.... especially if it was to/from your girlfriend.
Engineering is the art of compromise.
1. record some ambient noise, put it on KaZaA 2. join RIAA, SCO 3. ??? 4. Profit !!!
I must admit, I really can not see how this is worth a /. mention.
> I'll buy the one (Score:5, Funny) ...
that makes my phone sound like it's losing the connection so I can get out of boring conversations easily.
Here you go! This is the one you're looking for!
The Safe House in Milwaukee has a pay phone that does this.
This is not the way to build a lasting empire.
There was already an advt. along the same lines at ninemsn TV (Sydney) in 2000. where a husband asks his friends to produce late working in office sounds while enjoying beer. It even included a vaccum cleaner sound.
-------- Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate -- the bombs always hit the ground.
to drown out the screams of the hot chick you are humping when the wife calls?
while sco {
wget -O
}
I foresee a whole new market for 'backing track' mfr's now.
Maybe all those starving RIAA bots^H^H^H^Hmuso's can diversify a little.
"Sing me a song for a dime, just as long as you make it mine..."
; -- the corruption of government starts with its secrets. a truly free people keep no secrets. --
I just laughed my rectum inverted! I just laughed my whole lower gut through a 2" hole in my diaphragm!
In the same vein, a video alternative is being produced and tested at the moment. UK readers might have seen it on the news - it plays a video background on your 3G phone, so nobody can see where you really are. It made me realise the one downfall of 3G video over your phone - even the most mundane situation could look suspicious. Andy
The background noise of slaugher and bloodshed could be amusing. "Sorry honey, I've got a few trolls to deal with..."
DECEPTIONWARE!
The Safehouse, a spy themed bar in downtown Milwaukee Wisconsin has a pay phone that does this very thing. Has had it for years.
Phil Hendrie would love this! But not until they come out with a bowling alley background sound....
Wait, typing Slashdot comments isn't working?
(hopes the boss doesn't read slashdot)
Because there is not nearly enough dishonesty in the world we need mass marketed tools, which are designed for no other use but to fascilitate your lies. Geez are there not enough legitimate tools and equipment out there already that can be missued or subverted for your poor reasons. This is why so many good technologies like CD recorders get a bad rap people use them for bad things. It really won't help when manufacturers start makeing stuff that really is bad in nature.
Repeal the 17th Amendment TODAY! Also Please Read http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/right-to-read.html
We wonder why we live in such a dishonest society. An entire business model based on the premise of helping people deceive others. Great contribution to society there.
Anthony Papillion
Advanced Data Concepts, Inc.
"Quality Custom Software and IT Services"
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Once you hit Oregon, though, the cops will practically smoke a joint with you as long as you're not waving a gun around or something like that... That's it! I'm moving to Oregon! I always knew I'd end up in the PNW. ;)
cool... i want those moving parallel lines like Max Headroom..