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Kevin Smith set for Clerks sequel

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the back-to-dick-and-fart-jokes dept.

bckrispi writes "Director Kevin Smith has announced an official sequel to his indie cult classic, Clerks. Currently titled "The Passion of the Clerks", the film will pick up with Dante and Randal ten years after the original as our two heroes trudge through the malaise of their thirties. Jason Mewes, now out of rehab, is back on deck to play Jay across Smith's Silent Bob."

406 comments

  1. Oh, come on! by ALeavitt · · Score: 4, Insightful

    To me, this represents Kevin Smith taking the final plunge into sheer hackdom. None of his movies lived up to the expectations that naturally came about as a result of the edginess of the original Clerks, so Kevin Smith is kowtowing to his fans' demands rather than making good movies. Jersey Girl both sucked and bombed. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was just a series of in-jokes for the rabid Kevin Smith fans. And wasn't that supposed to be the last movie set in the "View Askewniverse" that contained movies like Clerks and Mallrats? To me, this just makes Smith sound a lot like George Lucas. "I'll never make another sequel in this series. Wait, what? Money? Oh, yeah, I'll do it for money. What do you guys want to see? More Jay, more Randall, and the origins of Boba Fett? Ok, here's exactly what you want! Now pay me!"

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    This sig has been stolen. Return it to its original user for a reward.
    1. Re:Oh, come on! by Stevyn · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I don't think his films were ever put up on a pedestal by him. He's got a bunch of die hard fans who propped his reputation up. I love his movies and I think he's a great writer and director when it comes to comedy. But you're right, "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" was all inside jokes. If I hadn't seen the 4 previous movies he did, I doubt I'd get half the jokes in that movie.

    2. Re:Oh, come on! by falcon5768 · · Score: 5, Informative

      Actually if you knew ANYTHING.... the movie is more something for Jay.... Smith promiced him one last Jay and Silent Bob movie if he cleaned up his act and straightened up... a year later, hes delivering. Hes not really doing it for the money (the guy is loaded you know, not just cause of his moives, but from his stores and from his comic books) hes doing it more for himself, Jay, and the other original players who are all on board to do it.... Hes ALSO been dropping hints about it for over a year now, ever since the 10th aniversary edition of Clerks was planned.... so hes not just jumping into this.

      --

      "Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."

    3. Re:Oh, come on! by Jhon · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Hey! I liked Jersey Girl! Sure it was sappy, but hey -- I'm about the same age as Smith. I was able to relate to what he thought was important/funny way-back when, and I was able to relate to what he thought was important/funny some 10 years later with Jesery Girl.

      The idea of a Clerks sequal is both cool and scary at the same time.

    4. Re:Oh, come on! by Elwood+P+Dowd · · Score: 5, Insightful

      To me, this represents Kevin Smith taking the final plunge into sheer hackdom.

      Whatever. It's not like Kevin Smith (or most of the other folks that get this criticism) ever pretended to anything other than hackdom. He wanted to make movies that entertained people, & he wants to get paid. I swear, someday someone's going to say that Adam Sandler, or Affleck & Damon "sold out" and I'm going to spontaneously combust in frustration. It can't be "selling out" if their original goal was popular success & money.

      --

      There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
    5. Re:Oh, come on! by asoap · · Score: 3, Insightful
      How was Clerks edgey? Watch it again, it is pure toilet humor.

      "Are you wanting to make fuck... BERZERKER!!!!"

      Common.. Kevin Smith's work is toilet humor and mixed in with social commentary. Jersey Girl was different. It was meant to be a cute movie. It's a bloody romantic comedy/drama. Don't be bitter because you watched the movie expecting mall rats, and got a "cute" movie.

      I get annoyed when people bitch about how people like George Lucas keeps on peddeling old shit over and over again, but when he does something different, IE. Jersey Girl. People then still bitch.

      Personally my favourite movie of Kevin Smith's is Dogma. I love it how he plays with Catholicisim. What's cool about Dogma was that Kevin Smith was presenting the Human side of the bible. The main idea behind it was that Jesus at one point in time turned to one of his disciples and said "Hey Buddy, pull my finger!"

      As a Catholic who has parents that are kinda nutty about religion, I really liked the movie. So maybe he made that movie for me and not you. I always appreciated the Golgotha monster.

      When you boil down Clerks, Mall Rats, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob strike back. They are all based on dick and fart jokes, plain and simple. So it really erks me when people put Clerks on this pedistal. The movies all use the same formula.

      If you consider this the final plunge into "hackdom". Then I would say that clerks was his final plunge into hackdom, and he's only been swimming around in it for 10 years.

      -Derek

      --
      Treat me like a marketing stat, and I'll treat your movie like a series of ones and zeros
    6. Re:Oh, come on! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      You're just thowing good karma away. Talking trash about Jay & Silent Bob on Slashdot.. What are you thinking man. Conform damnit.

    7. Re:Oh, come on! by StevenHenderson · · Score: 1

      Don't know why this is getting modded down. It is very true. People did not respond well to Smith's attempts to break his own mold, and in essence, he has been forced back into the shell that made him popular in the beginning.

      However, I would not place all of the blame on Smith, but probably more on the studio.

    8. Re:Oh, come on! by The+Ultimate+Fartkno · · Score: 4, Informative

      And in the interviews and press he did leading up to Jay and Silent Bob he stressed that fact *repeatedly*. I remember him saying on several occasions that he expected the film to completely tank because he "made it for (himself) and the twelve people who obsess over all the minutiae in (his) other movies."

    9. Re:Oh, come on! by FriedTurkey · · Score: 2, Insightful

      How was Clerks edgey? Watch it again, it is pure toilet humor.

      At the time, Clerks really was edgy. Clerks were was revolutionary because it was crude and vulgar unlike the movies of the time. It ushered in a wave of vulgar pop culture referencing movies. The big studios have adopted the formula and there are 20 movies like this every year. Looking at it with 2004 eyes Clerks is kind of crappy.

    10. Re:Oh, come on! by nine-times · · Score: 4, Insightful
      None of his movies lived up to the expectations that naturally came about as a result of the edginess of the original Clerks

      That's because the hype around Clerks was insane. The reason why Clerks worked was because we were sitting around a low-point in movie-making. Everything was big-budget and no one bothered to write a script. Clerks, on the other hand, was nothing but a script. The movie had no budget and the acting stank. Part of the charm was specifically that the poor production values lead to a feeling of sincerity and fun.

      So you take the guy who made that movie, throw him in a spotlight, and give him a huge budget, and, what?... you think the goodness of his movies is supposed to be proportionate to his budget?

      Clerks was never a filmmaking masterpiece. It's more of a fun footnote in filmmaking history than a chapter unto itself. So he goes from making a charming funny little movie that's kinda crappy but pretty funny to making bigger-budget movies that are still only pretty funny, and you complain like he's a sellout because he didn't stick to what he was good at. He tries to go back to his roots, to do something that he might actually be good at, and you complain that he's a sellout again, because he's just trying to recreate his earlier success.

      Get over it. He's just a regular guy trying to make movies, and if you had the opportunity, you'd do it too. Clerks was not Star Wars, so even if he destroys the legacy of Clerks, he hasn't done the cultural damage Lucas has. I doubt he even thinks he's making masterpieces, so I'm not sure what the bellyaching is about.

    11. Re:Oh, come on! by asoap · · Score: 0
      Wasn't Clerks just a rehash of Porky's, National Lampoons Animal House?

      Isn't that one of the reasons why Kevin Smith made Mall Rats, the studio wanted to make a new Porky's for the next generation?

      I personally loved it, but it failed to be a massive teen comedy, and became more of a teen cult classic.

      I might be missing something. Clerks was a bit before my time. I fail to see how a girl having sex with a dead guy is revolutionary. Yes it's vulgar and dirty (Dick a fart jokes). But it's also shit that people joke around with before, it's wasn't a new form a humor. It's just that someone had the balls to put it on film. It's Kevin Smith's "thing". It seems that people see that as revolutionary, and then complain when his next movies are not as revolutionary, but they're just the same toilet humor.

      I don't know.. maybe I'm just a moron.

      -Derek

      --
      Treat me like a marketing stat, and I'll treat your movie like a series of ones and zeros
    12. Re:Oh, come on! by ALeavitt · · Score: 1

      THANK YOU! You don't know how painful it is for me to get modded down for saying what I feel is, in essence, the same things that people responding to my thread are saying. I said that Smith made movies that defied expectations, like Jersey Girl, and got smacked down for it, so he's writing where the money is instead of doing his artistic thing. Of course, the kneejerk reaction of Kevin Smith fans is to mod that down as flamebait, but come on!

      --
      This sig has been stolen. Return it to its original user for a reward.
    13. Re:Oh, come on! by dubiousmike · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I wouldn't say that Jay has had his act cleaned up for a year now. There were many of us who saw him in Jerky's in Providence, RI as little as 9 months ago going out to the parking lot to do heroin and then coming back in all fucked up.

      That said, he wasn't as much of a jerk as I expected. He had plenty of hot bitches milling around, but looking at him, it was all about "star power" and nothing about presenting himself in a way that someone who didn't know him would give the junkie a second look.

    14. Re:Oh, come on! by StevenHenderson · · Score: 1

      Yeah, I don't know what some people are thinking. I am guessing it is a fanboy thing. Most likely, you just hit a nerve with some people. I don't see how it is flamebait or trolling, as it is pretty plain to see. The same thing happens to actors - they get stuck in a genre, with very few being able to break out (a la Jim Carrey). At least getting modded down means people are taking notice. :)

    15. Re:Oh, come on! by FCAdcock · · Score: 1

      Yeah, about the same as some of the new movies comming out now from college kids. Take Napolean Dynamite for instance. There's this huge media attention behind it at the moment just because it has a decent script, and it's low-budget. All the trendy kids are seeing it.

      Personally, I still think Clerks rocked, the rest of the Kevin Smith movies were over-budget but are still decent, and Napolean Dynamite is an utter waste of film.

      --
      --Forest C. Adcock--
    16. Re:Oh, come on! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      bullseye, my friend! i'm surprised to see so many defendants of his. imo, everything after clerks sucked. watching the novices in clerks deliver smith's ridiculous dialogue is funny and quirky, but seeing b-fleck and other actors doing it is unbearable. for me at least.

    17. Re:Oh, come on! by Mateito · · Score: 2, Insightful
      someday someone's ging to say that Adam Sandler, or Affleck & Damon "sold out"

      Adam Sandler sold out!

      (happy now?)

      Seriously, I hated Adam Sandler until I saw his performance in Punch Drunk Love. Everything else I've ever seen him: Waterboy, Big Daddy, Little Nicky; make me feel like gnawing off my own limbs.

      Maybe he's made other good movies, but I'm not going to invest a huge amount of time trying to find out what they are.

      --
      Norman Cook's Ode to Sl
    18. Re:Oh, come on! by galaxy300 · · Score: 1

      I haven't seen the movie in a long, long time, but I seem to remember Dante dying at the end. How the heck are they going to make a sequel to that?

      --
      seriouslyexcited.net
    19. Re:Oh, come on! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Saying he sold out implies he had something to sell. Whatever he sold, it's not talent.

    20. Re:Oh, come on! by TheXRayStyle · · Score: 3, Informative
      I haven't seen the movie in a long, long time, but I seem to remember Dante dying at the end. How the heck are they going to make a sequel to that?
      Dante did die in the original ending, but the actual release of the movie did not include that part. The focus groups for the movie didn't like that ending, so the movie really ends with Dante closing the shop and Randall throwing his handmade "I assure you, we're open!" sign inside saying "you're closed now"--(I think...that was from memory)--with them both still very alive.
    21. Re:Oh, come on! by Gooba42 · · Score: 1

      If you've not seen his live show, I'd recommend it.

      He makes no bones about his humor being low-brow and pretty much just accepts any of that criticism on the basis that the critics just didn't get it.

      By his own admission he makes movies for himself and for his friends. If the critics go for it, great, if not... well... at least he got to make a movie he liked. Big budget or no budget, his taste is consistent and that's why his movies are "all the same". It's when he makes a movie like "Jersey Girl" that he's pandering to Hollywood crap.

      --
      I just found out there's no such thing as the real world. It's just a lie you've got to rise above. - John Mayer
    22. Re:Oh, come on! by galaxy300 · · Score: 1

      Aha...that explains it. I saw it on a bootleg on video way back when I was in college and (I think) before it really hit the theaters. I also remember hearing that they changed the soundtrack in the theater release. I should check that out someday!

      --
      seriouslyexcited.net
    23. Re:Oh, come on! by deke_kun · · Score: 2, Interesting

      You forgot chasing amy. A movie that, despite tackling romantic issues, was still funny as hell, had incredible dialogue, drama and well developed characters. KS said Chasing Amy was a personal film for him. Jersey girl was supposed to be a return to that personal film style. But wasnt, and sucked for it. If you compare the two films its obvious that KS is either really lazy or is now incapable of writing. Witty intelligent dialogue (with toilet humour, of course) is now replaced by musical montagues that shows peoples smiling faces - just so you KNOW what he's saying is oh-so intelligent.

    24. Re:Oh, come on! by AS400+Hacker · · Score: 1
      To me, this just makes Smith sound a lot like George Lucas. "I'll never make another sequel in this series. Wait, what? Money? Oh, yeah, I'll do it for money. What do you guys want to see? More Jay, more Randall, and the origins of Boba Fett? Ok, here's exactly what you want! Now pay me!"


      Silent Bob shot first.
    25. Re:Oh, come on! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      It's not like Kevin Smith (or most of the other folks that get this criticism) ever pretended to anything other than hackdom.
      Perhaps not. Smith himself seems relatively humble. (Yet he's not so humble that he will actually suck it up and learn his craft properly. And he loses humility points for talking smack about other directors whose boots he is not worthy to lick. But I digress.)

      People who call Kevin Smith a hack aren't arguing with Kevin Smith. They're arguing with his fanboys, who tend to throw around words like "brilliant," "genius," "classic," "revolutionary," and other examples of ludicrous overstatement when discussing Smith and his films.

    26. Re:Oh, come on! by what+the+dumple+is · · Score: 1

      Well, I remember before or about the time Mewes went into rehab Smith was concerned. He said at that time that he'd be willing to do another movie with the characters Jay and Silent Bob if that would help give Mewes some incentive.

      So, I don't think he's pulling a Lucas and doing it strictly for the money. Although it is nice to be paid.

      What would be better is this: Adult Swim should pick up the Clerks cartoon because that was one of the best things ever (even if they couldn't convince Alan Rickman to be the voice of Leonardo Leonardo) and make new episodes.

    27. Re:Oh, come on! by robertjw · · Score: 1

      Not sure if Sandler sold out, but it sure seems like it.

      His original goal, at least in my opinion - don't know the guy personally (Adam, if you are out there, feel free to post), was to be FUNNY. I think his brand of humour is some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. His first two movies, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore still make me roll for hours. Big Daddy, Mr Deeds, and Anger Management all felt like he was just pandering to the box office going sheep out there, and not willing to take anymore risks. Punch Drunk Love was the first thing I've seen him do in years that was worth watching.

      --
      Find coupons in Greeley
    28. Re:Oh, come on! by rizzo5 · · Score: 1

      it wasn't alan rickman who was leonardo leonardo, it was alec baldwin. but i agree. adult swim should pick it up and order new episodes.

    29. Re:Oh, come on! by Elwood+P+Dowd · · Score: 1

      Fair enough.

      --

      There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
    30. Re:Oh, come on! by cpu_fusion · · Score: 0
      Wow, flamebait modded way up as "interesting."

      That's kind of a metaphor for the Republican convention.

      (Don't mod this post up or you'll stack overflow.)

    31. Re:Oh, come on! by Daengbo · · Score: 1

      Well, despite having been on Slashdot for years, I have never seen Clerks or any other Smith film besides J&SB. I still enjoyed it and laughed myself silly, but could sense that it would've been funnier if I had seen the first four.
      Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, mothermotherfuck, mothermotherfuckfuck.

      --
      Put identity in the browser.
    32. Re:Oh, come on! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Currently titled "The Passion of the Clerks"?

      Isn't that great, more Christian bashing. You can just go to Hell. Oh wait, you're already on your way.

    33. Re:Oh, come on! by Dabido · · Score: 1

      I think you hit the nail on the head with this post.

      People should stop the argueing and let Kevin make his films. Those who are fans can go see the movies, those who are not, can avoid them.

      A simple solution for simple people. :-)

      Mainichi onaji kotono kurikaeshi.

      --
      Sure enough, the cow costume was hanging up next to the superhero outfit and sailors uniform. (S,Spud)
    34. Re:Oh, come on! by Diag · · Score: 2, Informative

      Maybe he's made other good movies

      Happy Gilmore.

      --
      Serving Suggestion: Defrost
    35. Re:Oh, come on! by what+the+dumple+is · · Score: 1

      I know. They wanted Alan Rickman to basically play the same character as Die Hard. He said no and Smith went with Alec Baldwin.

  2. Thirty-Seven?! by romper · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Try not to suck any dick on the way out of the parking lot!"
    --Dante

    More quotes.

    --
    Right is wrong when left is right.
    1. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by MalaclypseTheYounger · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hey, you.. get back here...

      --
      Check out the best P2P sharing website: MEDIACHEST.COM
    2. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by romper · · Score: 1

      I was waiting for that reply. =)

      Three minutes... Not bad!

      --
      Right is wrong when left is right.
    3. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by cb8100 · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Did he just say 'making fuck'?"

      --
      My lack of God, it's Trotsky!
    4. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by Cocoronixx · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm not even supposed to be here today!

      --
      "Obscenity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker." - cloak42
    5. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Um, that page of quotes you linked to? Curious, when you scroll down a bit you see:

      Hermaphadidic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box, beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.
      - Randal, "Clerks" ( $ )

      The $ is a link with alt text "Purchase this through Amazon.com". Why that specific quote, I wonder?

    6. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by afish40 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega.

      Oh wait, wrong movie.

      --
      Thanks a million. Push Start to replay.
    7. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by The+Joe+Kewl · · Score: 1

      Clerk: "My girfreid sucked 37 dicks!" Customer: "In a row?"

    8. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Probably because someone included it with the quote.

      (Please select option to hotlink to amazon, or some such nonsense).

    9. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by FlipmodePlaya · · Score: 1

      I believe there is a bisexual porn flick with the same name they chose to give their tape in Clerks. Don't ask me how I know... I mean, it was on Jeapordy...

    10. Re:Thirty-Seven?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well if you thinks that's offensive, check this out! (shows pr0n mag) I think you can see her kidneys.

  3. Crazy! by Chess_the_cat · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    First I see the story "Open Xchange Server Source-code Released" on AICN and now this.

    --
    Support the First Amendment. Read at -1
  4. Barely Clerkin? by andyrut · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Currently titled "The Passion of the Clerks"

    At the end of one of Kevin Smith's movies, it stated that the title of the Clerks sequel would be Clerks 2: Barely Clerkin'. Guess they decided not to stick with that.

    I really enjoyed the format and bad acting in the original Clerks ("You ever notice that all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie."). I hope the sequel returns to Smith's roots a bit, instead of being some highly-produced lets-see-how-many-stars-we-can-put-in-this-flick movie like his recent ones.

    1. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative
      At the end of one of Kevin Smith's movies, it stated that the title of the Clerks sequel would be Clerks 2: Barely Clerkin'.

      It was at the end of Dogma, and the title was supposed to be "Still Clerkin"

    2. Re:Barely Clerkin? by kid-noodle · · Score: 2, Insightful

      He's on the low budget bit of his cycle again, he makes a low budget hit (Clerks), then a huge budget flop (Mallrats), then gets busted down to a low budget again (Amy), so on ad infinitum. So he's back to doing this one on about $500,000 (he says), after mistakenly casting J-lo and Affleck.

      And I thought it was Clerks 2: Hardly Clerkin'?

      I feel a bit sorry for him really - he will never escape Jay & Bob. Just look what happens when he tries (and after he swore to never make another one in the Jersey series..)

      --
      fortune -o
    3. Re:Barely Clerkin? by gbsmith · · Score: 3, Funny

      Clerks 2: Electric Boogaloo

      --
      There is no off postion on the genius switch. - David Letterman
    4. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      but that was the point of the last movie.

      people seem to miss that.

      he wasnt trying to pass off a movie by increasingthe number of stars.

      his point was to put as many stars in it to make it cheesy and fun.

    5. Re:Barely Clerkin? by el-spectre · · Score: 4, Interesting

      True, altho I have heard him say that he toled Mewes that if he got clean, he'd write another movie as a thank you. Mewes has been clean for a coupla years now, so it's time to pay up.

      --
      "Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." - A.B.
    6. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sorry, but my memory is perfect. I can't be wrong. It was "Still Clerkin".

    7. Re:Barely Clerkin? by FCAdcock · · Score: 2, Insightful

      They didn't put huge stars in the movies. They put Kevin Smith's friends who all got their start in his movies in them.

      --
      --Forest C. Adcock--
    8. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Neon+Crossing · · Score: 2, Informative

      http://imdb.com/title/tt0120655/crazycredits IMDb disagrees.

      --
      -NC
    9. Re:Barely Clerkin? by andyrut · · Score: 2, Informative

      They didn't put huge stars in the movies. They put Kevin Smith's friends who all got their start in his movies in them.

      Shannen Doherty (Beverly Hills 90210)
      Janeane Garofalo (SNL, a number of movies before Dogma)
      Chris Rock (standup)
      George Carlin (standup)
      Will Ferrell (SNL, more than a dozen movies)
      Jon Stewart (Daily Show)
      Tracy Morgan (SNL)
      James van der Beek (Dawson's Creek)
      Jason Biggs (American Pie)
      Carrie Fisher (Star Wars, etc.)
      Mark Hamill (Star Wars)
      Wes Craven (director)
      Alanis Morissette (singer)
      Salma Hayek (Desperado, etc.) ...and so on and so forth

      None of these folks "got their start" in a Kevin Smith movie, yet starred in one or more of them. Come on, dude, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was one big cameofest.

    10. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Dun+Malg · · Score: 0, Flamebait
      Alanis Morissette

      I ain't catholic, or even particularly religious, but I think cast her as God was blasphemous. God as a woman? Fine. God as Alanis Morisette? Puh-LEEZ!

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    11. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Isnt it ironic

      dont ya think

      a little too ironic

    12. Re:Barely Clerkin? by mindfucker · · Score: 1

      ... until after the movie inevitably bombs. At which point he'll turn into a junkie again.

    13. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      What, like rain on your wedding day?

      No, Alanis, that's just *FUCKING BAD LUCK*!

    14. Re:Barely Clerkin? by execute85 · · Score: 1

      It should be Clerks 2: Electric Boogaloo.

    15. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Uart · · Score: 1

      I heard that too. Mewes loves playing Jay. Its probably the only role he's well known for. This is definitely a last hurrah for Jay and Silent Bob, and a reward for Jason.

      --

      Opinionated Law Student Strikes Again!
    16. Re:Barely Clerkin? by /dev/trash · · Score: 1

      A couple of years? Itw s just at the beginning of the year that he was re-arrested for smack use. He's a heroin addict, his life is pretty much gone.

    17. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Crash6-24 · · Score: 1
      An advantage of a low-budget film with a near-amateur cast and crew is that the audience can watch and think, "Damn! I could make a film like that." Except that most of the people watching won't have the drive to make the film happen.

      Sometimes low budget can be inspirational in a way that a big-bidget CGI flick can't. I enjoyed "Lord of the Rings" but I can't imagine making a movie like it. Hanging around Papa Tud's (local pizza take-out), checking camera angles, listening to the locals - that I can do.

      Another point is that "Clerks" was made when the experience of clerking was still fresh in his mind. Now that Kevin Smith isn't clerking the movie will probably be more like nostalgia. Kind of like Dilbert going downhill now that Scott Adams relies on e-mail for his bizzarre situations.

    18. Re:Barely Clerkin? by el-spectre · · Score: 1

      Nah, I think that was like in 2002.

      As much fun as it is to look down on addicts (in black in white, no less), they are people too, and nothing is certain.

      --
      "Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." - A.B.
    19. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Nodatadj · · Score: 1

      > Kind of like Dilbert going downhill now that Scott
      > Adams relies on e-mail for his bizzarre
      > situations.

      Dilbert only got good once Scott started relying on emails. The first few years of strips were bad jokes you told your friends when you were 9 and thought they were hilarious, but with a dog and dilbert saying them.

      Then he put his email address on the strips and people emailed him their experiences and he wrote about those. He even admits this himself.

      The problem now though is that most people's experiences aren't all that different from one another and all the situations have been played out over and over again and have become predictable and tedious.

      That and Scott Adams is an egotistical moneygrabbing asshat. The money grabbing he admits to, and you only need to read "The Joy of Work" to notice the ego problem.

    20. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Crash6-24 · · Score: 1
      So we agree that Dilbert has gone downhill though we disagree for the reasons.

      And Scott Adams is a money grubber. Oh, for the purity of a Gary Watterson who refused to let Calvin and Hobbes be licensed for ANYTHING.

    21. Re:Barely Clerkin? by Nodatadj · · Score: 1

      Bill. Bill Watterson did Calvin and Hobbes and refused to license it.

      I think you're getting Bill's name confused with Gary Larson, who, as numerous calendars/mugs/posters/postit notes/etc/etc/etc stand testamony to, didn't appear to have any issues with licensing at all.

  5. Awesome! by Limburgher · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just don't accidentally suck any dick on the way to the theater! :)

    --

    You are not the customer.

    1. Re:Awesome! by applemasker · · Score: 3, Insightful
      If you haven't integrated Clerks into your personal lexicon, you have no business moderating here. Parent is not offtopic if you've seen the movie.

      In a row?

      --
      Bush Lies On the Record.
    2. Re:Awesome! by outlaw69 · · Score: 1

      although sucking some in the theater aint too bad

      --
      It's better to be hated for who you are, than be loved for who you're not.
  6. I know I'm on the outside, by BillFarber · · Score: 0, Troll

    but this movie ranks as one of the most boring movies ever. Right up there with Chariots of Fire.

    1. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by stratjakt · · Score: 1

      I agree with the poster, and expand it to include Smith's entire body of work.

      I know Comedy Central airs Dogma 7 times a day, and I've yet to be able to sit through more than any 5 minutes at a time.

      Usually I'll stop when I see George Carlin on the screen while flipping channels, then continue on as soon as it cuts to Damon and Afleck boring the fuck out of me with one of their "witty" conversations.

      --
      I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
    2. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by lukewarmfusion · · Score: 1

      Clerks was bad. Mallrats was terrible. Jay and Silent Bob was one of the worst films I've EVER seen, and I actually sat through that Baldwin movie "Threesome."

      I put Dogma as the best thing he's done. The rest were badly written, badly acted, and usually badly filmed. The problem with most of Smith's work is that they come off as a bunch of friends making a movie filled with inside jokes. And those are never funny.

    3. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hrmm.. You're a "Friend of a Friend" 'eh? I'll have to go see who this so called "friend" is.

    4. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by hawley+Griffin · · Score: 1

      i disagree, there for you are a troll posting flamebait!

    5. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      37! The parent sucked 37 dicks!

    6. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      actually they are quite funny.

      but kevin smith movies have one system requirement of the viewer: a sense of humor.

      if you expected it to be anything more than you described above. well then you are simply and idiot.

    7. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by djdavetrouble · · Score: 1

      Mallrats was quite possibly one of the best movies ever, I don't know even how to really express my love for this film. It captures a way of life, a quirky american sub culture that those of us coming of age in suburbia couldn't avoid. Malls were like, it, man. Kevin captures the world in a bubble with enthusiasm and makes a day in suburbia an adventure. This movie is all locale, characters and dialog. He pokes fun at action as always (fly, fatass fly!). This movie is as pure an experience as ever was.
      Other movies that I love that people hate:
      Cabin Boy
      Convoy
      Escape from New York
      Warriors

      --
      music lover since 1969
    8. Re:I know I'm on the outside, by xt0rt187 · · Score: 1

      Here here! I too love Mallrats, it's very difficult to pick a fav Smith film, but it's up on the list. (3-way tie between Clerks, Mallrats & Dogma)

      Brodie makes the movie imo, I really dig Banky in CA as well, but the ending to Chasing Amy was really a downer.

      "What's a nubian?"

  7. mewes is back by crypt0shite · · Score: 1

    all is right with the world

    1. Re:mewes is back by RudyG13 · · Score: 0

      I had heard a nasty rumor that he had OD'd and died, but I guess it's nice to hear that he was just in rehab....given the two things....I suppose.

  8. Never say Never... by slusich · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Kevin Smith had said that he'd never revisit the world of Jay and Silent Bob after he finished shooting "Strike Back". I'm really glad he reconsidered. This'll be a movie worth seeing. Hopefully Mewes can stay out of rehab/jail long enough to shoot it.

    --

    DeviantArt Page

    NSFW
    1. Re:Never say Never... by DragonMagic · · Score: 2, Insightful

      His non-J&SB movie pretty much flopped, and well, he hasn't had much luck with anything except Clerks being positively received by the public. Why not?

      It's a shame, he's got a good sense of humor and a novel approach to movie making. Here's hoping he can get back into the groove.

      --

      Human nature is the same everywhere; the modes only are different. -- Earl of Chesterfield
  9. Man... by kjones692 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Watching this movie is gonna be like having sex with a dead guy. (kidding, Clerks is awesome)

    --

    Love the Third Amendment?
  10. job security by sexygirl.jpg.vbs · · Score: 4, Funny

    ten years later and still a clerk....must be nice to have that kind of job security

    1. Re:job security by sexygirl.jpg.vbs · · Score: 1

      </"Office Space" ripoff>

    2. Re:job security by DaHat · · Score: 1

      If you aim low there's no limit to how long you can last.

      Years ago when I worked at a McDonalds (served a total of 4 years) I worked with many who'd been there for 15+ years, and only a couple of them had any sense to em.

      --
      Help Brendan pay off his student loans
    3. Re:job security by lothar97 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Since most of these jobs cannot be outsourced, they've been "insourced," bringing the Indians to the US to work as clerks.

      --

    4. Re:job security by grendelkhan · · Score: 1

      And what's this I hear about you having problems with your inventory reports?

      --
      Wu-Tang Name: Half-Cut Skeleton Get your own Wu-Na
    5. Re:job security by MindStalker · · Score: 1

      A couple of em.

      You seriously expect me to believe that a single solitary individual who has worked for McDonalds for 15+ years has a lick of sense. And don't try to give me that crap about no opportunity, I've personally known many who have come from the depths of hell with some common sense go far.

    6. Re:job security by DaHat · · Score: 0

      2:26:18
      2:29:24
      3:06 /5%
      done ~3:30 :35 60%

      asked for preliminary hearing: 23rd 10am

      State Attorney's

      it's the normal proceedings and hoops that must be jumped through in case it's an innocent person
      Update
      As expected

      there are many 'anti piracy' systems out there... the majority of which are only good enough to prevent casual copying by those who don't know how to get past (not unlike a 3 foot high chain link fence)... I could just jump over the fence and crack my legit copy... but I'm an ass like that where I say "why? I paid for it, why can't I play it?"

      there is a reason we have professionals in the world, those who know what they are doing... yea, they may cost a few bucks more than doing it yourself, but with a pro you've got a far better chance of

      Recently I came across this blog by accident and was surprised to see my break-in story linked to by it, in reading the comments I thought I should respond to a few:

      Ogre Lawless and others: No, I do not expect to get my money back from her nor do I care about the change that much.

      Loquacious: You said "Up to 10 years in a state prison for $50 bucks in loose change?" They are two separate things. The theft of the money (which I don't care too much about) is punishable by up to 30 days in the county jail, while the 2nd degree burglary (even if nothing was taken) is worth up to 10 years in the state pen. Given that mine are not the only charges she's currently answering for (a couple of other break-ins (house and car)) she is virtually guaranteed some time in the pen.

      Yes, it is harsh, and despite her age, she is well known by the local PD and court system. There are many on all sides who look forward to this incorrigible being removed from polite and civilized society for a time. Given her track record, I'd argue it's necessary.

      "Do you know this woman? I do! She broke into my house on my birthday, has she broken into yours?"

      nakedcodemonkey: The camera I've got is specifically designed as a security camera and is a standalone unit that stores the pictures to an MMC card so there is no connection to my computer. If she'd known the device was a camera and she stole it, I would have had no record of the culprit. I have since made some changes in my home to ensure that that cannot happen in future.

      Yes, I am a little paranoid and that is why I have the camera. I had a couple of DVD's go missing back in the late fall and could never figure out where they went. Not thinking it likely that I'd have anything else disappear in future I didn't worry too much, however when I ran across the camera at a very reasonable price I figured it couldn't hurt.

      I should also mention that my intention with the web page was never to smear her online or anything of the sort. When I mentioned to some friends that I had my house broken into I ended up repeating the same story many times... so for simplicity I wrote it all up once and said "go here if you want to know"

      You don't have to believe it, but it is true.

      Of those that I knew who'd had McDonalds as a career and had a lick of sense were not the low level grunts or slightly higher managers but were the salary managers and store managers. I'll grant you it's not the most glamorous job, but it can be a well paid one if you're good at it.

      While some local school teachers were being shown how the store worked, one remarked "I'm so glad I went to college" to which a manager replied "I have an MBA." What is a man like he doing working at a McDonalds? Simple, it's an easy job and he was content with it (more so when he got his own store).

      Fast food is one of those industries where to hang on at the higher levels you need to be damn good at your job, not just compared to those under them, but compared to any possible person to fill the job.

      If you want someone who's got much more than a lick of sense... find someone who owns a McDonalds store as opposed to

      --
      Help Brendan pay off his student loans
    7. Re:job security by DaHat · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Awe crap, when I type things out I normally do it in my word processor and had a few extra notes and what not in it... maybe I shouldn't have done that control-a and a quick paste and submit.

      Anyway, here is what I was trying to say... but without having to fight through other stuff.

      You don't have to believe it, but it is true.

      Of those that I knew who'd had McDonalds as a career and had a lick of sense were not the low level grunts or slightly higher managers but were the salary managers and store managers. I'll grant you it's not the most glamorous job, but it can be a well paid one if you're good at it.

      While some local school teachers were being shown how the store worked, one remarked "I'm so glad I went to college" to which a manager replied "I have an MBA." What is a man like he doing working at a McDonalds? Simple, it's an easy job and he was content with it (more so when he got his own store).

      Fast food is one of those industries where to hang on at the higher levels you need to be damn good at your job, not just compared to those under them, but compared to any possible person to fill the job.

      If you want someone who's got much more than a lick of sense... find someone who owns a McDonalds store as opposed to a store manager who just runs the store. Most of them worked their way up through the system (often starting as an order taker, fry person, etc) and realized that a great deal of money can be made in owning such a place.

      --
      Help Brendan pay off his student loans
    8. Re:job security by Alan · · Score: 1

      Friend of mine's parents own a couple of mcdonalds and he works there as a manager, has been there for at least 5 years, probably much longer. He's not hurting for money either, not like he's breaking 6 figures or anything, but I'm sure he's making at least 40-60k (CND).

    9. Re:job security by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So Dante and Randal are two specimen of the rare white Indian?

  11. What about Ramzi? by tkr2099 · · Score: 2, Funny

    What role is Ramzi (Hacking with Ramzi) gonna play???

    1. Re:What about Ramzi? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's 'The Broken', not Clerks.

      But Ramzi is the ShizNit!

    2. Re:What about Ramzi? by natron+2.0 · · Score: 1

      the broken rocks!

      http://www.thebroken.org/

      --
      [n8.r0n] http://petesweb.spymac.net/
  12. Budget by mfh · · Score: 5, Informative

    > None of his movies lived up to the expectations that naturally came about as a result of the edginess of the original Clerks

    I think the budget is the reason. Clerks made it so the talent had to shine through because they had no money. Fans of Kevin Smith will rejoice at this news. If you aren't a Kevin Smith fan, you could quickly become one if you happen to see An Evening With Kevin Smith, where Kevin does hours of Q&A at universities, covering a multitude of topics including his dealings with the religious nut Prince (~Symbol~). Another topic is the strange dealings Kevin had with the creator of one of the Batman movies who kept talking about a huge mechanical spider (who went on to make WWW).

    It would be likely much funnier to see "The Passion of the Clerks" stay within the same budget as the first one ($27 k), rather than use up a large studio budget. It's not going to happen, but it would be pretty awesome if they kept the budget low enough to let the talent and quirkiness shine through.

    --
    The dangers of knowledge trigger emotional distress in human beings.
    1. Re:Budget by sunking2 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Eh? So let me get this straight. We're supposed to respect him more because he's going to make more money off of a probably mediocre movie because he's spending less to make it?

      He probably knows he'll take in around X amount of money whether he spends $250k or $50 million. But somehow we're supposed to like him more because he's going to low ball the production and increase his profits. At least high production movies typically put more people to work creating them. If he really cared he'd take all the production money he's saving and offer half price rebates to see his movie in the cinemas.

    2. Re:Budget by Rei · · Score: 4, Interesting

      It is strange, but the less budget his films have, the better they seem to do. My favorite film of his major films (Clerks, Mall Rats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) was his second lowest budget one - Chasing Amy. I love that movie. It's budget was only 250k$. And while budget-wise it's no Clerks (28,000$), it is anything but a Lord of the Rings trilogy (190m$), Star Wars Ep 1 (115m$), Titanic (200m$), etc.

      --
      I just invaded Grammar Czechoslovakia and duped Grammar Neville Chamberlain; now it's on to Grammar Poland.
    3. Re:Budget by weslocke · · Score: 4, Informative

      Actually just as a nitpick, it wasn't Batman. It was when he was talking about his involvement with the then-soon-to-be-file-13'ed 'Superman' effort. The producer of the movie was all excited about doing the picture, but could we have Superman in shorts fighting a huge spider?

      Kevin talked about how he was like, "uh, yeah... sure... it's your movie, man" and the guy was just all freaky over getting this huge spider into the flick.

      Then they brought Tim Burton in to direct it, who turned around and shredded Smith's screenplay. Burton got his own stable of writers in to re-write it until (apparently) it sucked so bad that the entire project got shelved.

      Smith said that what really freaked him out was a couple of years later he went to see another movie that was produced by the same guy. It was The Wild, Wild West (I don't think he ever said who it was, but it sounded like it might've been Barry Sonnenfeld)... and what did he see in there? "A huge f!@#ing mechanical spider!"

      An Evening With Kevin Smith... don't just watch it... go out and buy it. Unseen. Just buy it. You'll be glad you did.

      --

      'Life is like a spoonful of Drain-O, it feels good on the way down but leaves you feeling hollow inside'
    4. Re:Budget by Dr.+Evil · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hmmm... he could alternatively put $50M in the production of trailers. Then people could think they're getting a big-budget film.

    5. Re:Budget by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      On Darkhorizons.com it states that Clerks2 will have a production cap of $5 million.

    6. Re:Budget by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Look, making movies involves risk. The more money you spend, the less risk you are allowed. When the studio puts lots of money on the line, they MAKE you do things a certain way because they want to lessen the risk to their money.

      If he does Clerks 2 the low-budget way he wants to, the studios will leave him alone and let him do whatever he wants. He can do any damn thing and its okay. This is a good thing.

      As for whether we are supposed to respect him or not, I don't remember him saying "respect me now because of my l337 l0w-budget skillz." He just announced the movie.

      And he doesn't really "know" he will make any particular amount of money. If he spends peanuts on this movie he has lessened the risk, not guaranteed huge profits.

    7. Re:Budget by Jardine · · Score: 1

      Actually just as a nitpick, it wasn't Batman. It was when he was talking about his involvement with the then-soon-to-be-file-13'ed 'Superman' effort. The producer of the movie was all excited about doing the picture, but could we have Superman in shorts fighting a huge spider?

      The man he was talking about was Jon Peters. He was a producer on Batman as well as Wild Wild West. He was also Barbra Streisand's hairdresser and as far as Smith could tell, quit kooky.

    8. Re:Budget by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The lower the budget, the more freedom he has. When you spend a bunch of money, the studio makes you do things a certain way to lessen the risk to their money. With a low-budget movie, he's free to do what he wants.

      Kevin Smith shines with goofy, funny, profane dialog. Chasing Amy had that great scene, a parody of a scene in Jaws, where two characters were comparing stories and scars they had received in the pursuit of oral sex. Kevin Smith wanted to do that joke in Mallrats and the studio execs didn't allow it!

    9. Re:Budget by lowe0 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Perhaps he just wants the challenge/experience of making another low-budget movie?

      Look at the Indiana Jones 4 project (or what's left of it at the moment). Spielberg has already stated that they'll be minimizing CGI and using old-fashioned stuntwork to make the next Jones film. Why? They specifically want to have to work around stunt apparatus - something about how it makes them more creative.

      It's already proven that Smith gets more creative when he's got less money to spend. And, as someone else already pointed out, when you're spending less money, you're guaranteed to make it back on Kevin Smith's name alone. If he keeps it on the cheap, Miramax is going to let him do whatever he wants. And that's exactly what I want to see.

    10. Re:Budget by biscrage · · Score: 2, Informative

      From Keving Smiths boards This is not a grab at the green. Saying so is kinda laughable, if you're privy to what I make per film now, vs. what I'll make for this film. Part of the idea about doing "Passion" is to strip away the trappings of success we've been enjoying for the last few years, in an effort to get to the raw and pure. None of us are making our usual salaries on this flick; we're all doing it favored-nations style, with deferments. If the flick does well, we'll get paid our full-freight on the back-end. If not, we did it for the love. But if I was "all about the green", I'd be gearing up for "Hornet" or "Fletch" instead. This one's about the passion; the passion of the "Clerks." So hes not going low budget to make more money and who said anything about respect. And on that not Im leaving this conversation before I end up posting his whole message board here.

    11. Re:Budget by biscrage · · Score: 1

      Forgive me, I was half asleep and forgot to format :) Everything from "this is not a grab at the screen..." to "...; the passion of the 'Clerks'." is a direct quote from Kevin Smith on his Forums. Everything else is my half-asleep rantings ;)

    12. Re:Budget by King_TJ · · Score: 2, Interesting

      IMHO, that's neither "strange" nor is it uncommon in the film industry, overall.

      One of the big reasons the second round of Star Wars films sucked so bad compared to the original 3 is the huge budgets they were allowed to spend on them. Lucas dumped it all into computer graphics and effects, expecting that would be enough to "Wow!" everyone -- and in reality, fans just wanted a good, well acted-out story. (Consider the sets in the original Star Wars movie, compared to the extravagant worlds depicted in the second trilogy. Tatooine was a plain old desert.... a bunch of sand and a few simple structures. Very believable and effective without needing much of anything in the way of "special effects".)

      I also agree that Clerks and Chasing Amy were probably Smith's best 2 films, and furthermore, I've really enjoyed a few other obviously low budget films I've run across, such as "The Cube".

      Kevin Smith movies are all centered around the same basic theme.... the struggles, behaviors, and desires of youth. By its very nature, this isn't something that should require a huge budget to put together. (I mean, his characters aren't sons and daughers of millionaires, right? So he doesn't need extravagant sets and settings.)

      I think in some ways, making movies is like software development. There's a time and place for big, powerful systems and code that requires them to run. But there's also a certain elegance only found when you work within tight restrictions, such as coding for a PDA with limited RAM and video capabilities, or the classic games seen on old consoles like the Atari 2600. Most of us expect Kevin Smith movies to be more comparable to the latter....

    13. Re:Budget by jpop32 · · Score: 1

      Kevin talked about how he was like, "uh, yeah... sure... it's your movie, man" and the guy was just all freaky over getting this huge spider into the flick.

      Well, spiders _are_ the fiercest killers in the insect kingdom, you know.

      (Sorry, just watched the DVD last night :-))

    14. Re:Budget by Diag · · Score: 1

      Vote parent +1 Insightful

      --
      Serving Suggestion: Defrost
    15. Re:Budget by infochuck · · Score: 1

      I think the budget is the reason. Clerks made it so the talent had to shine through because they had no money.

      Have you ever *seen* "Clerks"? It was a good flick and all, but talent? "Shine through"? Who's talent? Smith's, maybe. The other 'actors' were crap. Jay just had to act like an idiot, Dante was cardboard, and the video store guy just plain *sucked*. As a film-school project it rocks. As a hollywood movie, or even an indie film - not so much.

  13. What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by Stevyn · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I've always been a huge fan of Kevin Smith's movies. I read that "Jersey Girl" was going to be his first "real" movie that he hoped would be spectacular and wow the critics. It wasn't, however, so I guess this means he's going back to what he knows best and everybody loves...dick and fart jokes.

    Clerks is a great movie for anyone who hasn't already seen it. If you've ever worked in a convenience or video store, you'll laugh your ass off.

    1. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by lothar97 · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Essentially this happened

      It did make $25,266,129 source, which is better than Gigli (US Gross, $6,087,542, Production Budget $54,000,000). Sure it's not a Kevin Smith movie, but it's got the same goofy actors. source

      --

    2. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by Lord+Omlette · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wait wait, I thought it wasn't for critics.

      --
      [o]_O
    3. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by Fnkmaster · · Score: 1

      Wait a second, Jersey Girl did come out in theaters, it didn't go direct-to-video. Also, though it was not a success by big budget movie standards, and it apparently wasn't such a great movie, the production budget was 35 million (just found that in another article) and the US Gross was 25 million as your source says - presumably world-wide, it may have roughly broken even (I'm guessing here). So it wasn't a mega-flop like Gigli, just not anywhere near as successful as Kevin Smith's other films. Probably because he was just not doing the kind of filmmaking that he's really good at.

    4. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by lothar97 · · Score: 1
      I forgot to put the sarcasm tag in my last email. It didn't go direct to video, but basically it did.

      Production costs: $35 million
      Marketing costs: $15 million
      US gross: $25 million
      Worldwide gross: $5 million

      They're $20 million in the hole on this one. I imagine they made more in DVD/on-demand/airlines, but at best they broke even- and likely lost a few million.

      Source

      --

    5. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by Fnkmaster · · Score: 1

      OK, agreed, with those more complete numbers it looks pretty clear that it did lose some money. Nonetheless, still not a megaflop like Gigli or Waterworld. Damn, never mind, I just looked up Waterworld on that site and even though it bombed here in the US it looks like it actually netted almost 100 million dollars worldwide due to amazing success in overseas showings. Weird, I always remember that as the example of one of the biggest big budget (175 million dollars) bombs ever.

    6. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by lothar97 · · Score: 1
      Strangely enough, US movies sometimes translate better into foreign languages. I've lived in France, and speak French fluently. When "Bodyguard" (French title for "The Bodyguard") came out, I saw it in the theatres, and thought it was OK. When I saw it in the US, I realized it sucked. The people doing the French dubbing actually did a better job of acting than the original actors in the movie.

      On another random note, usually the same person does the voices for the different actor (so Sean Connery always sounds the same). Makes me wonder if "The Postman" was better in French, since Kevin has a different person giving inflection to his voice...

      --

    7. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by dirk · · Score: 1

      While JG didn't do that well, it wasn;t a mega-bomb. It made back it's money, just didn't do excedingly well. As for going back to Clerks after he said it was done, a huge part of the reason he left the Jersey series was Jason Mewes' addiction. Mewes was extremely messed up, and that was a huge reason for him not wanting to using Jay and Silent Bob anymore. He even said that if Mewes ever got clean he would make another J&SB movie. Well, Mewes is clean and now he's doing it.

      --

      "Information wants to be expensive" - Stewart Brand, the same guy who said "Information wants to be free"
    8. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Link to Wikipedia, not Fact-Index. Fact-Index is a shitty copy of Wikipedia. A mere shadow.

    9. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by megarich · · Score: 0

      now i haven't seen jersey girl yet but was it a good movie? i can tell you one reason why it didnt do that great, advertising. i mean there was another movie that came out right around the same time(i wanna say the girl next door but i could be wrong) and during commercial break i seen trailers for that move literally 5-7 times a day for about a months time. you know how many i saw for jersey girl in that time period?..just one.

      this has nothing to do with anything in kevin smith's power but i cant help but feel the lack of advertising jersey girl got help hurt the box office gross.

    10. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by ttrafford · · Score: 1
      Sure it's not a Kevin Smith movie, but it's got the same goofy actors.
      Am I wrong, or was Lopez only JG for about 10 minutes?
    11. Re:What ever happened to "Jersey Girl"? by lothar97 · · Score: 1

      Yes, but screen time for J.Lo was cut. In its original form, it was more Bennifer than the final version. For some reason (GIGLI), the Bennifer thing was toned down.

      --

  14. I'm very disappointed. by garcia · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You know, Kevin Smith *was* a great movie masterpiece creator until recently. I don't know if it is because of his direct link to Bennifer, or that he has just decided to sell out after 10 years, or that Jay and Silent Bob made the jerk-off teens thrilled with his work, but I am overly disappointed with the news of this movie being made.

    It's bad enough that we have 5 or 6 different DVDs for every movie ever made (Digitally Enhanced, Collectors Edition, Gold Edition, Platinum Edition, Boxed Platinum, ad nauseum) but do we really need to make a fucking sequel of every god damn movie that found even partial success either in the theatre or cult/home markets? Baby Geniuses 2 (I didn't even know this movie had a first installment but I was informed that the first one was terrible) comes out and they wonder why a movie shelved for two years (Hero) rakes in unexpected dollars and a lame fucking sequel sucks it up with 3.3 million total?

    Let me guess the pirates are to blame for the theft of money AND decent movies. They are the reasons we have to make duplicate copies of everything playing off the same old lines that the first one had and only adding jokes relating to their ages in the next? Baby Geniuses 4, BG's Grandchildren go to Montessori?

    I loved Clerks and it was the first movie I seriously remember being sore from laughter after seeing. I think I have watched it more than any other movie I don't own. Do we really need its status as a cult classic scarred by some overpriced, overhyped, overaged wannabe sequel? If he really loves the fanbase he created he would listen to us on this one. It's a bad idea for all those involved, seriously.

    1. Re:I'm very disappointed. by garcia · · Score: 5, Informative

      From this forum post by Kevin:

      There are gonna be lots of folks expressing disappointment or downright hostility with the idea of this movie. Let 'em vent. If it's all that bad, Xtian will just sweep it off the board. But the last thing I'm interested in is opinions on what I'm doing this early in the process, if at all. The beauty of making that first flick was being able to do it in a vacuum. Granted, I could've kept my mouth shut about it 'til we were done shooting; but with "Clerks X" coming out, it just felt right to share. Regardless - I don't want folks running here with reports of what's being said about the idea of this film at other boards. Don't waste your/my time with the braying of the jackasses. There's not even a movie to bray about yet. Once there is, if you still still feel the need to tell me what some random, knuckle-headed Talk Backer has to say about the finished product, then God bless. But until then, leave it in the locker room.

      Well since there are no girls on Slashdot I'll consider this the "locker room".

      If it's not terribly related to Clerks other than the cast why can't you come up with some other completely different name for it? Why must it hang on the success of the first one?

      How about you do it on a shoestring budget again? You know the studios will pick it up and they will be especially thrilled if they don't have to shell out millions to the pirates.

      As for the rest of his comment I will keep quiet (as he asks) until I see the final result.

    2. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' just went completely over your head didn't it? Why not start a boycott campaign, Spartacus.

    3. Re:I'm very disappointed. by garcia · · Score: 1

      As much as you would love to make it seem like there was some deep theoretical meaning to all the piss, fart, and "fuck" jokes I just can't agree with you.

      It was aimed at the masses of jerk-off kids that love to hear people say "fart" and "bong" and "shit".

    4. Re:I'm very disappointed. by litesgod · · Score: 3, Interesting

      From the same post that you take your quote from you can see that:

      - The characters are the same- not just the cast. It won't be a rehash, it will be a new storyline for the same characters.

      -He is doing it on a shoestring budget, under 5mil. The first was cheap because he didn't have to pay salary. Now he feels like being nice to these people.

    5. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Fnkmaster · · Score: 2, Funny
      Now THAT'S cool. When was the last time you saw George Lucas hanging out with a bunch of Star Wars fanboys answering their annoying questions about "Episode 3: How I Shat On Your Childhood Memories" or whatever other piece of junk he's making these days?


      I guess if he had, he might have actually made a movie people wanted to see.

    6. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Way to prove his point, ball licker.

    7. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Scrameustache · · Score: 1

      do we really need to make a fucking sequel of every god damn movie that found even partial success either in the theatre or cult/home markets? Baby Geniuses 2 [...] a lame fucking sequel

      Oh fuck you man, the only thing these two have in common is that they are both sequels. Don't go comparing a stupid SFX gimmick movie with Clerks. Just don't.

      Do we really need its status as a cult classic scarred by some overpriced, overhyped, overaged wannabe sequel? If he really loves the fanbase he created he would listen to us on this one. It's a bad idea for all those involved, seriously.

      First of all, you don't know its going to be bad. I find your lack of faith disturbing.

      Secondly, I'm in the fanbase, I say make it.
      Why should he listen to naysayers like you instead of fans who are eager to see what he's actually going to make, instead of just simply assuming he is an incompetant looser who couldn't possibly know what he's doing? The characters were reused for Clercks Animated, in Jay and Silent Bob, etc, its not like this is a first you know.

      What, he made a good movie, so now he should die young to keep it pure for you?

      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    8. Re:I'm very disappointed. by JamesKPolk · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Darth Vader being Luke's father traumatized you pretty bad, huh?

      Or was it the death of Spock?

      Some second installments are really good.

    9. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Spoing · · Score: 1
      1. [Kevin Smith] "Regardless - I don't want folks running here with reports of what's being said about the idea of this film at other boards. Don't waste your/my time with the braying of the jackasses. There's not even a movie to bray about yet. Once there is, if you still still feel the need to tell me what some random, knuckle-headed Talk Backer has to say about the finished product, then God bless. But until then, leave it in the locker room."

      Remember people, don't start rumors. Kevin Smith now has enough sweet movie cash to go personally kick your ass.

      --
      A firewall can not protect you from yourself. Turn off what you do not need. Do not use the firewall to do your work.
    10. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Do we really need its status as a cult classic scarred by some overpriced, overhyped, overaged wannabe sequel? If he really loves the fanbase he created he would listen to us on this one. It's a bad idea for all those involved, seriously.

      Clerks was a (very) funny movie, not the holy bible. Smith can do whatever the hell he wants with its "legacy".
      I'm (sort of) surprised to see so much artistic facism on /.
      Yes, these movies are a part of our culture, but that doesn't give us veto power over Smith's future projects.

    11. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Dun+Malg · · Score: 2, Funny
      Way to prove his point, ball licker.

      You are the ball licker, because you do in fact lick balls!

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    12. Re:I'm very disappointed. by jonnystiph · · Score: 1

      do we really need to make a fucking sequel of every god damn movie that found even partial success either in the theatre or cult/home markets?

      My unix fortune seems to agree with you. ;)

      A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

      --

      If we don't make light of everything, we are just stumbling in the dark - Blank

    13. Re:I'm very disappointed. by Bullet-Dodger · · Score: 4, Funny

      Jay and Silent Bob are terrible, one-note jokes that only stoners laugh at. They're fucking clown shoes. If they were real, I'd beat the shit out of them for being so stupid. I can't believe Miramax would have anything to do with this shit. I, for one, will be boycotting this movie. Who's with me?

    14. Re:I'm very disappointed. by swiggidy · · Score: 1

      From the article:
      the budget will be somewhere between 250 grand and $5 million.

      The original was shot pre-dawn, and most of the actors worked for free and then went straight to their day-jobs with little or no sleep.

      "This time around we'll afford ourselves the luxury of nice 12-hour days," Smith said. "And people can get paid."
      > How about you do it on a shoestring budget again? You know the studios will pick it up and they will be especially thrilled if they don't have to shell out millions to the pirates.

      Do you want the studios to pick it up and make money when the actors don't? If the money he spends is for the actors, not the effects/background/production is there a problem?

    15. Re:I'm very disappointed. by poofyhairguy82 · · Score: 1
      Jay and Silent Bob are terrible, one-note jokes that only stoners laugh at.

      Shut up!

      **Hits bong

      --

      Open Source Sushi

    16. Re:I'm very disappointed. by 808140 · · Score: 1

      He's actually quoting "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", if you didn't realize.

    17. Re:I'm very disappointed. by 808140 · · Score: 1

      Doubtful. There's more money in selling out.

    18. Re:I'm very disappointed. by MustardMan · · Score: 1

      All you motherfucks are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball lickers. As soon as we get to hollywood and find those miramax fucks who's makin that movie, we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit and eat their shit that's made up of our shit that we made them eat. And then all yous fucks are next.

      Love,
      Jay and Silent Bob

  15. Learning by StevenHenderson · · Score: 1

    Guess you have to screw up a little to realize it's just best to stick with what works. :)

  16. Again? by UnknowingFool · · Score: 5, Funny

    Am I missing something? I thought I already saw the sequel. It was called Mall Rats . . . No, Chasing Amy . . . No, wait, it was called Dogma. Maybe Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? I'm so confused.

    --
    Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
    1. Re:Again? by arudloff · · Score: 1

      All the movies take place in the same general region, so it makes since for the characters to know the same circles of people, but this is a bit different. This is a story of what happened to the Clerks themselves after the movie ended.. Neither of the actors are present in any of the other movies outside of minor cameos if I'm not mistaken..

      Viva la daunte!

    2. Re:Again? by falcon5768 · · Score: 5, Informative

      no they where all in the same universe, but not sequals per se. Clerks always advertised a clerks two... as did Mallrats advertise Dogma as its sequal (which infact it wasnt, chaising amy cam after) what it boiled down to was Smith wrote a lot of the screenplays at the same time, but had to build up a rep to put out the one he really wanted to (Dogma) due to its religious nature

      --

      "Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."

    3. Re:Again? by falcon5768 · · Score: 1

      no infact they are only mentioned once or twice in all of the movies, and infact ONLY make a cameo as the Clerks characters in Strikes Back... They played other characters in other movies though

      --

      "Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."

    4. Re:Again? by kid-noodle · · Score: 1

      Ok, I know that was meant to be funny. But its wrong on.. so many counts.

      All the 'Jersey' films feature Jay & Bob, however only in Dogma and J&SBSB are they lead characters - the movies aren't about Jay & Bob except in the sense that Star Wars is actually about the droids.

      Clerks 2 is about Dante & Randal, Jay & Bob just happen to be in it.

      Not only that, but Kevin says that not all the films actually occur on the same plane of reality (Mall Rats for example).

      The films are all set in broadly the same place, and often have characters from the other films, but none of them are sequels.

      --
      fortune -o
    5. Re:Again? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Not only that, but Kevin says that not all the films actually occur on the same plane of reality (Mall Rats for example).

      Ah, but then how do you explain the Jay & Silent Bob comicbook series (written by Kevin Smith), which attempted to explain how J&SB got from Mall Rats to Chasing Amy to Dogma? They start out staying in the house of the girl who was researching sex by having sex, then make their way around to different places, stopping in to give Affleck advice about "Chasing Amy", when they leave and try to get to that place where Sixteen Candles and other John Hughes films took place - because no one is selling w**d in those movies, so it's a sure market - end up in McHenry, Illinois, where they wait to try and pick up "loose women" at the abortion clinic. Enter hockey demons. Enter Jay & Silent Bob. And we have Dogma.

      So I think at least those three films - Mall Rats, Chasing Amy, and Dogma - are all strongly linked, and could be considered chronological sequels.

    6. Re:Again? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Mallrats was a prequel. The girl who dies the night before in Mallrats is the same girl to whom Dante and Randall go to her funeral. So the chronological order is:

      Mallrats, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, The Passion of the Clerks

    7. Re:Again? by MindStalker · · Score: 1

      Also Dogma wasn't really a sequal in the sense of plot either.

    8. Re:Again? by crackshoe · · Score: 2, Informative

      the actor who played dante hicks has played nothing but members of the hicks clan: Dante, Grant, Jim, and Gill (aside from that flick that Steve-Dave wrote and directed - with the clown. then he was a clown. that was pretty cool). Randall has, to my knowledge, never been cast as anyone but randall (doublecheck - he played a gun merchant in dogma)

      --
      Don't worry - its just stigmata. Pass me a napkin and don't you dare tell my mother.
    9. Re:Again? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Though Dante's actor always plays someone named Hicks.

    10. Re:Again? by vistic · · Score: 1

      Mallrats took place in Eden Prairie, Minnesota...

    11. Re:Again? by AgentUSA · · Score: 1

      Mallrats was filmed in Minnesota. The story took place in Jersey.

    12. Re:Again? by vistic · · Score: 1

      I know... I was at that mall a lot while they were filming, I remember particularly being there when they did the beating up of the Easter Bunny scene. They made a lot of fake stores all around the mall.

  17. Clerks translated into /. by dnaboy · · Score: 5, Funny
    From the movie... People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."

    Or, among slashdot readers, I once called this computer "girlfriend"...

    1. Re:Clerks translated into /. by sharkey · · Score: 1

      Apples to oranges. Calling your lover "Mom" is sick. Calling your computer "girlfriend" is just tragically familiar on Slashdot.

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  18. A classic piece of scriptwriting. by The+I+Shing · · Score: 5, Funny
    Apart from the "parking lot" quote, my favorite line was:

    Dante (furious): 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!

    Customer: In a row?

    I still chuckle at that bit ten years later.
    --
    You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
    1. Re:A classic piece of scriptwriting. by HeadCrash · · Score: 1

      I'm pretty sure Dante's line was:

      36! My girlfriend sucked 36 dicks!

      As he was number 37 on the dick-sucking list...

      --

      "You did WHAT to WHO for BEER MONEY?!? Jeez, man - you don't even like beer..."
    2. Re:A classic piece of scriptwriting. by The+I+Shing · · Score: 1

      No, it was 37. I've seen the movie something like 37 times, and I used to have a WAV file of the interchange on my computer. Just search Google the phrase "37 dicks" and you'll see.

      --
      You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
    3. Re:A classic piece of scriptwriting. by quisph · · Score: 1
      I still chuckle at that bit ten years later.
      You are easily amused.
    4. Re:A classic piece of scriptwriting. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Searching for the word "dicks" on Google...I don't think the result would be good.

    5. Re:A classic piece of scriptwriting. by Student_Tech · · Score: 1

      He asked his girlfriend how many she had sucked and she said, something like 36. Dante wanted to know if that has including him, then she changed her answer to 37. Then you had the "37, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks" line.

    6. Re:A classic piece of scriptwriting. by barks · · Score: 1

      You snowballed that guy? -Dante

      --

      Some aim to please, I aim to tease.
  19. How relevent by essreenim · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Clerks sequel : (is to) /. :: (as is)
    pigs : manned flight

    I for one personally welcome our new clerk overlords.

  20. Jay and Silent Bob?!? by natron+2.0 · · Score: 1, Interesting

    I thought Kevin Smith stated the "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" was to be the last time those characters (Jay and Silent Bob) where to be seen in a film. I guess money will make you do funny things. I wonder if this film will be in black and white as well.

    --
    [n8.r0n] http://petesweb.spymac.net/
    1. Re:Jay and Silent Bob?!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Jay and Silent Bob are terrible, one-note jokes that only stoners laugh at. They're fucking clown shoes. If they were real, I'd beat the shit out of them for being so stupid. I can't believe Miramax would have anything to do with this shit. I, for one, will be boycotting this movie. Who's with me?

    2. Re:Jay and Silent Bob?!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I, for one, will be boycotting this movie. Who's with me?

      Gee I don't know, your parents? Go upstairs and ask them.

    3. Re:Jay and Silent Bob?!? by PhuCknuT · · Score: 0, Redundant

      all you motherfuckers are going to pay. you are the ones who are the ball-lickers. we're going to fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. once we get to hollywood and find those miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. then you're all fuckin' next.

      love,
      Jay and Silent Bob.

  21. From the horse's mouth by sane? · · Score: 5, Informative

    Why not go to the source, rather than CNN, on this one.

    1. Re:From the horse's mouth by RudyG13 · · Score: 0

      No kidding, everyone liked clerks, and another done in the same style would be a refreshing addition. Heck, everyone was [i]ticked[/i] at Kevin Smith when he said he wasn't going to make another clerks universe movie. Now that he has, people are mad he went back on what he said.

      No pleasing some people I guess.

  22. Ob. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

  23. watch? by diottam · · Score: 2, Funny

    I assure you, I will watch this film.

    1. Re:watch? by knewman_1971 · · Score: 1

      ROFLMAO. If I had points, I'd mod you for the best, most subtle Clerks reference so far. /salute.

      --
      where is the "I feel for ya, but that's some funny ass shit" moderation?
  24. Aramaic by MikeMacK · · Score: 4, Funny
    "The Passion of the Clerks"

    And I understand it will be filmed entirely in Aramaic.

    1. Re:Aramaic by mr_z_beeblebrox · · Score: 1

      Snoochums Boochums, brutus

    2. Re:Aramaic by freeze128 · · Score: 1

      Is that anything like Todd AO?

  25. Vogue. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I predict the sequal will not look like a $27,000 movie. Just look at what success did to the look of Star Wars.

    1. Re:Vogue. by natron+2.0 · · Score: 1

      Kevin Smith stated in the interview that he will keep it less than $5 million. Talk about inflation!

      --
      [n8.r0n] http://petesweb.spymac.net/
    2. Re:Vogue. by PhuCknuT · · Score: 1

      The problem isn't inflation, the problem is last time none of the cast & crew were paid, and he can't get away with that now that he has a budget.

  26. Think it Will Be Good by puto · · Score: 5, Funny

    When I first saw this I was going to think he was trying to make a quick buck.

    Then I thought about Kevin Smith. And I think he just going to make a movie with some friends, and have a good time. You never can go home, but you can sure as hell visit.

    Things I would like to see in the movie.

    1. Jays cussing Olaf with his Berserker song become a star.
    2. Randall come out of the closet.
    3. Randall as Dantes boss.
    4. Silent Bob having a love Child with Kaitleen bree.
    5. Another Hockey game on the roof" any balls down there, BOUT THE BIGGEST PAIR YOU WILL EVER SEE"
    6. What number of dicks Dantes ex is actually on now.

    Puto

    --
    The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
    1. Re:Think it Will Be Good by thesupermikey · · Score: 3, Informative

      Well we already know Olaf made it big. Jay was wears a Berserker world tour short in Stricks back

      --
      Mikey
      I've always been the kinda guy to fall for the girl dressed like an eskimo.
  27. You sure thats what he said? by tgd · · Score: 1

    I thought he said they would never play Jay and Silent Bob again, not that they'd never visit that world.

    But I haven't had any coffee today, so I may be remembering wrong.

    1. Re:You sure thats what he said? by slusich · · Score: 1

      At the end of "Strike Back" they literally close the book on the "Askewniverse". The commentary tracks, as well as "An Evening with Kevin Smith" all have Kevin saying that he would never do another movie within that realm.

      --

      DeviantArt Page

      NSFW
  28. He should rather finish his comics... by tendram · · Score: 3, Insightful

    How long are Daredevil: Target and Spider-Man and Black Cat overdue now? 2 Years?

    1. Re:He should rather finish his comics... by falcon5768 · · Score: 1

      Hey it took Joss Whedon 3 to finish Fray.... i think it goes along with people who do TV and who write comics

      --

      "Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."

    2. Re:He should rather finish his comics... by slaker · · Score: 2, Interesting

      At the Chicago Comic-Con he was very apologetic about both. And the mini-posters for J&SSB... He's AWARE of all those things but freely admitted that they aren't at the top of his priority list. As we in the audience for his Q&A reminded him of the old stuff he hadn't finished, he ran off his list of priorities.

      What he *DID* say was at the top of his priority list - and I'm not making this shit up - was a two-part guest starring role in "Degrassi: The Next Generation". He said he wanted to direct an episode, but Canadian culture laws forbade a non-Canadian citizen from doing that. I guess he's a big fan.

      --
      -- I wanna decide who lives and who dies - Crow T. Robot, MST3K
    3. Re:He should rather finish his comics... by stratjakt · · Score: 3, Funny

      I'll take Joey Jeremiah and the Zit Remedy over Jay and Silent Bob any frickin day of the week.

      Snake, Wheels, Joey.. The madcap adventures. Remember when they bought that case of beer? (One case for a party with about 50 people at it). Of course, they got busted and learned a valuable lesson.

      Or when Joey sold the fake drugs to that chick who then ran around pretending to be high? "Degrassi Grass". Heh, classic. Yick Yew the disorganized. So many good times, and so many well-deserved naps in "social studies" class when they would show us a repeat of last-nights episode.

      No wonder Smith is a fan. The stuff was lightyears ahead of anything he's ever done, and was produced on a budget that made Clerks look like a Hollywood blockbuster.

      --
      I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
    4. Re:He should rather finish his comics... by Bullet-Dodger · · Score: 1

      You forgot to call them "fucking clown shoes" :)

  29. I'm very disappointed-Swipe the good stuff. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Let me guess the pirates are to blame for the theft of money AND decent movies. They are the reasons we have to make duplicate copies of everything playing off the same old lines that the first one had and only adding jokes relating to their ages in the next? Baby Geniuses 4, BG's Grandchildren go to Montessori?"

    Oh I don't know. Bad movies just may put an end to piracy. Funny it hasn't worked for music though.

  30. Re:Um... by darth_MALL · · Score: 5, Funny

    OH now that's just mean. Mallrats, although a humorous look at nerddom, corrupted the original Jay we all knew and loved from clerks. Jay #1 uttered some of the funniest lines in cinematic history. " Shit yeah, Silent Bob...You know you're cute as hell. I like to take you, suck you, line up three other guys and make like a circus seal. Ya, Fuckin Faggot! I hate guys...I love WOMEN!" Pure genius. :-P

  31. Weeeyaa! First Post! Oh, you mean I'm not? by huchida · · Score: 1

    I'm not particularly a fan, but I say kudos to Kevin Smith for returning to his roots. Let's hope he hasn't forgotten them. I did like Clerks, but his movies got (IMHO) substanially worse as they went along. Probably in direct proportion to the budget, star power and expectations he was given.

    But then, he's not the only director recently to have a great first movie and then never live up to the promise again (though at least Smith's retain his trademark style, love it or don't... Others are all to quick to go as mainstream as they can.) I firmly believe it takes a good director years and a string of low budget, yet artistically free films to become great and realize their promise (look at Woody Allen, Martin Scorcese...)

  32. Good story by nuggz · · Score: 1

    Things change, but I think this is more about a good story or at least a potetially thought provoking topic.

    I think when you get attached to a character, you wonder what happens next.

    The other thing is lots of people around 30 (like me) are wondering what have I done with my life and where am I going. This is a good way to talk about the question, with existing characters in the same situation.

  33. Disturbed by This by pete-classic · · Score: 1, Redundant

    I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan.

    He said that Jay and Silent Bob wouldn't be back. That he didn't want to be Pauly Shore.

    What the fuck?

    Maybe his next film should be about a director who does a really fresh, raw movie. Follows it up with some meaningful, personal movies (I'm ignoring "Mallrats"), and then turns into the thing he fears most.

    I'd pay to see that.

    -Peter

  34. Re:Indie? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you're probably making some corny joke but i dont feel like listening to an mp3 to find out..

    but clerks WAS indie.. it was made for $27,000 charged on kevins credit cards with kevins college buddy as producer.

  35. He'll do a Lucas. by Mateito · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the new version, Dante shoots first.

    (If this makes no sense, look for the original "alternate" ending to Clerks.)

    --
    Norman Cook's Ode to Sl
    1. Re:He'll do a Lucas. by techstar25 · · Score: 2, Funny

      That would be the "worst idea since Greedo shooting first." -Holden McNeil, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

  36. "Quick buck"?! by Anita+Coney · · Score: 4, Insightful

    How exactly do you make quick money on a sequel to a movie that barely made any money?!

    A good example of making quick money in movies is the new AvP movie. You start with a movie that made lots of money. You then create a cheap sequel. Fans of the first will see it even though they know it'll be crap. And because it was made cheaply, it will profit regardless.

    Making a sequel out of Clerks is a HUGE monetary risk. Considering that hardly anyone has seen the original, the sequel will have to make money on is own merit.

    --
    If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
    1. Re:"Quick buck"?! by psyconaut · · Score: 1

      "...HUGE monetary risk"

      Which is why the budget will only be $250,000 to $5,000,000. Which is peanuts for movies today, as we all know. Heck, craft services on some movies cost more than $250k ;-)

      -psy

    2. Re:"Quick buck"?! by Erik+Hollensbe · · Score: 1

      AvP was a comic book, then a video game before the movie rights were even penned. And even that was many moons ago.

      They could have done a lot better, heck, they certainly had the time to do it.

    3. Re:"Quick buck"?! by Anita+Coney · · Score: 1

      Oh I know. I own some of the comic books and both PC games. But those don't change the fact that the movie was merely intended to make quick money. The movie felt like an hour and half long trailer to an extremely bad movie. God was it awful!

      --
      If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
    4. Re:"Quick buck"?! by Fek'Lar · · Score: 0

      Two words: Austin Powers. The first tanked. The second cashed in big time.

    5. Re:"Quick buck"?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not a big risk. There are lots of Kevin Smith fanatics who wouldn't dream of missing it, even after Jersey Girl. It's not gonna be a blockbluster, but the built-in audience means it's bound to pay for itself, especially if it's fairly cheap. Not to mention the fact that the 5 million in question is pocket change to a large studio.

    6. Re:"Quick buck"?! by DarKnyht · · Score: 0

      AvP is a big franchise if you looked. The stories were intertwined in books, comics and video games. So why in the world would they not make a movie that the fans have been asking for?

      The only dissappointment about the movie I've seen from the previews is that they set in modern timeline instead of the timeline of the novels and games.

      --
      Voting them all out of office, now that's change I can believe in.
    7. Re:"Quick buck"?! by dswensen · · Score: 2, Informative

      I think not.

      Box office data for Clerks

      The movie made over 10 times its budget at the box office. Very few movies can say that. Plus, the movie has to do huge bank on video, as where I live I haven't been able to rent it for ten years, as it's always sold out of every rental joint.

  37. oh great, more screwing dead guys by joeldg · · Score: 1

    come on..
    you can't top that...
    really..

    --
    anime+manga together at last.. in real time.
  38. Wow by EmperorKagato · · Score: 1

    I know i'm looking forward to the sequal to Clerks. Yet, I seem more excited about the buzz about the Green Hornet. I believe that would be a chance for Kevin Smith to hit a larger market. Well, maybe not. Not that many people know about the Green Hornet.

    --
    ----- You know you have ego issues when you register a domain in your name.
  39. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  40. Huh by stratjakt · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I thought Mall Rats, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob strike back were all "sequels" to Clerks.

    Kevin Smith is a one-trick pony whos films get less and less impressive each time out.

    Clerks wasn't a great movie, IMO, it just sort of struck one of those cult chords. I know a lot of my friends were going on about it like it was genious or something, myself I thought it was just a cheap indy film with a handful of funny moments.

    I'd imagine those who were so in love with it 10 years ago feelings have faded somewhat. Kind of like the Star Wars movies. The fans grew up, got too old to give a shit about SW anymore, and the younger kids couldn't give a shit or get into it at all.

    I wouldn't call Rocky Horror Picture Show a great movie either, but it's obviously a cult hit with a lot of legs left in it. But going to the show in drag on Hallowe'en and throwing toast at the bride is one thing. Paying 10 bucks to see the 10-year-delayed (cash grab) sequel is another.

    I dunno. Smith, Damon and Affleck, these guys are supposed to be so young and hip and scary talented that they're going to take over Hollywood and change cinema forever. I really don't see where all the talent is, myself. Throw Tarantino on that list too. Pulp Fiction was his only flick I can say I really enjoyed watching.

    --
    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
    1. Re:Huh by daeley · · Score: 1

      Lyndsay: Do I detect a note of bored, jaundiced naysaying?

      Professor Frink: Are you kidding me, this baby's off the charts!

      stratjakt: I really don't see where all the talent is, myself.

      (detector explodes)

      --
      I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
    2. Re:Huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Putting the apostrophe back into "Halloween" makes you more pretentious and less credible than Kevin Smith.

    3. Re:Huh by cubyrop · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      i'm astonished to find a contrary voice to all this kevin smith worship that didn't get modded down to tar, but i'm also thrilled to see it.

      smith has always been a self-serving, self-satisfied fat man whose aspirations to fap onscreen to his own genius have always been interpreted mistakenly as either "genius" or "eagerness to entertain". did anyone ever see the comic he made -- about his own life -- that he got published in the NYT Magazine? should have gone into the latest issue of Fat Hack Review.

      every single character in smith's movies has the same personality, the same type of humor, and same voice overall ... it has been said that he uses his characters merely as "mouthpieces", and there is much truth to that. there is a special place in hell for fraudulent geniuses like him and tarantino, and there are only spiders there.

      --
      If I could make this sig kill you, I would.
    4. Re:Huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How so? It's how the word is spelled.

      I guess Americans are so dumbed down with nigger-speak, that it's pretentious not to use it.

      I guess that's why Taco et al don't bother with spellcheckers, it's too pretentious! They be keepin' it real, yo!

      I apologize, yo. I'll try to keep it real for y'all! REAL FUCKING STUPID JUST LIKE YOO!

      Wassup homes! Yo yo word, that be on fly motherfuckin movizzle! Werd, that movie so tight nigger! That chick fuck a dead dood. Ice cold bro! Ya man he on the toilet dead from whackin it an chick goes in an fucks him thinkin it her dude! fuckin smart movie!

      I motherfuckin predizzle that this be the flyest movie since Barbershop 2, yo!

    5. Re:Huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "I dunno. Smith, Damon and Affleck, these guys are supposed to be so young and hip and scary talented that they're going to take over Hollywood and change cinema forever."

      who has ever claimed that? Especially about kevin smith. He makes funny stupid movies because he wants to make funny stupid movies. He also has made a couple of other movies, that were more serious.

      The guy simply wants to make a movie he wants.

      People seem to have this expectation that everyone is out to shake up the xyz industry and be a revolutionary. Some just want to be a part of it.

    6. Re:Huh by MisterSquid · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Throw Tarantino on that list too.

      This is a bit OT, but not if we're talking about overhyped, super "macho," directors. Tarantino is a directorial null device. The only film of his worth a damn is Reservoir Dogs. The writing, the acting, and the grit of the film come together in a way they do not in any of Tarantino's other films. The recent Kill Bill films are a travesty, though mildly interesting from a cinematic perspective (i.e. millions of dollars jettisoned on the whims of an undertalented first-film-was-a-hit director). Tarantino's single virute (and not one to be sneeze at) is that despite being unable to write and direct a proper film, he has perfect cinematic taste.

      He understands John Woo like no other American director. He knows that violence can be ultra sexy in a way that only the Wachowski brothers did in The Matrix (forget Reloaded and Revolutions which are interesting for different reasons). Tarantino did something amazing with Reservoir Dogs and has since been unable to equal that effort. Pulp Fiction is somewhat interesting, ending as it does with an superb and enigmatic subplot. Pure narrative beauty, reminiscent of the Coen Brothers (at their best) and Lynch. (My big question is whatever happened to Atom Egoyan? Soderbergh lost his edge.)

      Swerving somewhat back on topic. Smith's work is somewhat a one-trick pony, sure. His stuff feels the same, but he is much more skilled a story-teller than Tarantino has proven himself to be.

      --
      blog
    7. Re:Huh by stratjakt · · Score: 1

      I never called him pretentious, and I don't find him to be pretentious. And there is an apostrophe in Hallowe'en, I didn't put it "back", it's how the word is spelled.

      I just don't find Smiths movies to be all that good, despite all the hype and worship. I never did.

      I don't thing Bennifer Damon is/are that great an actor. He's a barely-believable pretty boy in every film.

      I don't think Tarantino is all that wonderful either. I admitted I liked Pulp Fiction, but that was about it. Kill Bill was beyond retarded. Even David Carradine should be ashamed of that shit, he should list it after "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues" on his resume.

      I love how this cadre of "Hollywood outsiders" are supposedly above all the celebrity ass-kissing and all about the art, and yet look how people react if you don't drop to your knees worshipping them.

      --
      I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
    8. Re:Huh by MrBlackBand · · Score: 2, Interesting
      I just don't find Smiths movies to be all that good, despite all the hype and worship. I never did.

      And I find them to be really good, really funny movies, despite all of the hype and worship. If hype and worship ever surrounded his movies, which they don't. In fact, whenever I hear anything about Smith's movies I always hear how awful they are. Perhaps you are confusing people saying that they *gasp* liked his movies (I know, it's a sin!) with hype.

      Kill Bill was beyond retarded.

      Don't you mean, "in my opinion Kill Bill was beyond retarded." Or are you some sort of movie deity who's word is law? In my opinion, Kill Bill was highly entertaining and enjoyable. It captured the feel of all those old Kung-Fu movies and made me want to watch a bunch of them, marathon-style. Perhaps you just have an aversion to entertainment? Or are you one of those people that only like things that aren't popular? It could suck ass but as long as no-one knows about it it's cool, right? I bet you liked N*SYNC when they were still underground.

      --
      "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
    9. Re:Huh by DeadScreenSky · · Score: 1

      (i.e. millions of dollars jettisoned on the whims of an undertalented first-film-was-a-hit director)

      Critical opinions aside, Kill Bill made quite a tidy profit for Miramax. So the money was hardly "jettisoned"...

      (I enjoyed Kill Bill, but I can definitely admit it is a love-hate kind of film.)

      --
      There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion. -- Francis Bacon
    10. Re:Huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I disagree about Kill Bill.

      The Kill Bill movies rocked completely, and Kill Bill 2 was insanely amazing. Kill Bill 1 was all about the huge swordfight at that Japanese tea house place; Kill Bill 2 was about the Bride and Bill, and where they came from and what they were thinking when they did all the stuff they did. It was fucked-up and brilliant. (SPOILER: Remember at the end when she slips into that room to Kill Bill, and finds him waiting for her, with her daughter who she thought was dead? That was a crazy situation, it blew me away.)

    11. Re: Huh by Karma+Farmer · · Score: 1

      My big question is whatever happened to Atom Egoyan

      No shit. Where is that guy?

    12. Re:Huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My entire family actually considers Kill Bill to be a great movie due to the tons of subtle (and not-so-subtle) references to Asian martial arts films and Samurai "soap operas" (for lack of a better term), which we all grew up watching.

      That being said, I can understand why many people have a strong dislike for it, as it's probably hard/impossible to appreciate a great portion of the movie without that background knowledge (the way the Shrek movies wouldn't be nearly as funny to a person who has no knowledge of the fairy tales it makes references to).

    13. Re:Huh by rmohr02 · · Score: 1

      The events in Mallrats take place on April 14, 1994. In Clerks, it's April 15, 1994. The others are sequels though.

    14. Re:Huh by sootman · · Score: 1

      Kevin Smith is a more skilled storyteller than Tarantino? You must've missed True Romance.
      Funny that both have only done a handful of files:
      QT had Res Dogs, Trues Romance, Naturla Born Killers (kinda), Pulp, and Bill I & II.
      KS had Clerks, Mallrats, Amy, Dogma, J & SB, Jersey Girl, and now this.
      Also they both started around the same time: Res in 1992 and Clerks in 1994. And they both started with really low-budget (almost Mastercard-level) films. (Res had a bit more, but I think Clerks actually *was* a credit-card movie.) And they both put a lot of cusswords into their scripts. Wow, never realized how much they had in common.

      --
      Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
    15. Re:Huh by kubrick · · Score: 2, Informative

      Tarantino wrote the scripts for True Romance and Natural Born Killers, but he disowned the second after Oliver Stone pissed all over it.

      Also, you're forgetting Jackie Brown, a film that I really liked; definitely better than Pulp Fiction. Probably the most personal and "human" of his films, mostly steering clear of caricature, something he and Smith are both prone to.

      --
      deus does not exist but if he does
    16. Re:Huh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Smith's work is somewhat a one-trick pony, sure. His stuff feels the same, but he is much more skilled a story-teller than Tarantino has proven himself to be.
      Oh my GOD, you are on crack. I'm not saying that Tarantino is be be all and end all of storytelling, but Kevin Smith has yet to tell a story at all, let alone tell it with any kind of style, or even basic competence.
    17. Re:Huh by sootman · · Score: 1

      That's why I said "(kinda)" re: NBK. You can still see glimpses of him in there, and it was one of the First Four and fun to play "Ooh, look, this guy Scangneti has the same name as this guy in Res Dogs."

      And you're right, I forgot to mention Jackie Brown. Honest mistake, probably because I hated it.

      Besides, NBK has a killer soundtrack.

      But hey, I'm not arguing with you. Everyone has opinions. Besides, who am I to argue with the man who made "2001"? ;-)

      --
      Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
    18. Re:Huh by kubrick · · Score: 1

      I didn't like NBK for two reasons; one was Juliette Lewis doing that bloody dance with unfocussed eyes that she seems to do in all of her films in lieu of actually acting, and the other was that Stone's premise (violence in the media is bad and causes people to be violent, but it's ok for this move to be gratuitously violent because it's warning of the dangers of media violence) is hypocritical, an insult to his audience, and (I imagine) not something in keeping with Tarantino's ideas. Did have a good soundtrack though (as did Jackie Brown as well).

      Oh, if I were doing a Director's Cut of 2001 I'd probably shorten that 'inside the Monolith' trip sequence -- sorry, folks, don't know what I was on...

      As you say, it's all opinions anyway, none of us can be hoping to speak 'ex cathedra' and have it be believed. :)

      --
      deus does not exist but if he does
  41. Jersey accent by lothar97 · · Score: 1

    Actually, they're going to not tone down the Jersey accent this time- so it will be almost as incomprehenisble as Aramaic.

    --

  42. Bong! by theJerk242 · · Score: 1

    Jason Mewes, now out of rehab, is back on deck to play Jay across Smith's Silent Bob.

    Bonnnnng!

    --
    Red Bull gave me wings and I flew into the ceiling fan.
  43. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  44. Ho hum by vegasbright · · Score: 0, Troll

    If it will be anything like jay and silent bob strikes back, god help us.

    --

    Tyler: You don't know where ive been, Lou. YOU DONT KNOW WHERE IVE BEEN!!
  45. back to basics after a flop by mcguyver · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Usually people will go back to a guaranteed success after a failure. Kevin Smith does Jersey Girl, comes out with Clerks 2. I'm not a big enough movie buff to comment on other examples but I'm sure they exist in movies such as Jurassic Park 3 and the Batman series. This type of thinking is bringing us such greats as the Star Wars prequals and Indiana Jones 4.

    1. Re:back to basics after a flop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      From Jay and Silent Bob Strike back:

      Ben Affleck is talking to Matt Damon (playing themselves in a sequel to "Good Will Hunting").

      Matt Damon : Just take it from "It's a good course."
      Ben Affleck : Oh, now you're the director.
      Matt Damon : Hey shove it, Bounce-boy. Let's remember who talked who into doing this shit in the first place. Talking me into Dogma was one thing, but this...
      Ben Affleck : Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-li ke-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you're supposed to be doing this week.
      Matt Damon : I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature?
      Ben Affleck : You're like a child. What've I been telling you? You gotta do the safe picture. Then you can do the art picture. But then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture because your friend says you owe him.
      [They both take a beat and look at the camera]
      Ben Affleck : And sometimes, you have to go back to the well.
      Matt Damon : And sometimes, you do Reindeer Games.
      Ben Affleck : See, that's just mean.

  46. JASON MEWES IN REHAB?! by DumbWhiteGuy777 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Surely you jest. No way would he would indulge in illegal goods.

    1. Re:JASON MEWES IN REHAB?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      it was for heroin.

      so that was kind of suprising when i first heard that.

      stoner, no big deal.

      junkie, much bigger deal

    2. Re:JASON MEWES IN REHAB?! by crimethinker · · Score: 1
      DANTE (to Jay): How many times I gotta tell you not to deal outside the store.
      JAY: I'm not dealing.
      KID (to Jay): You got anything, man?
      JAY: Yeah, what do you want?

      -paul

      --
      Pistol caliber is like religion: everyone has their favourite, and theirs is the only right choice.
    3. Re:JASON MEWES IN REHAB?! by /dev/trash · · Score: 1

      What makes this funny, is that Mewes was a big sXe freak when Smith met him.

  47. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Informative

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  48. Million Dollar Question by mconeone · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Will it still be in black & white?

    1. Re:Million Dollar Question by kid-noodle · · Score: 1

      Kevin says some of it will, some of it won't. Badaboom.

      --
      fortune -o
    2. Re:Million Dollar Question by htmlboy · · Score: 2, Informative
      Will it still be in black & white?

      from the horse's mouth on the view askew forums:
      "The flick's in both black & white and color."
    3. Re:Million Dollar Question by Scrameustache · · Score: 1

      Will it still be in black & white?

      No, because now he has one million dollars to pay for colour film.
      That stuff is expensive...

      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    4. Re:Million Dollar Question by sharkey · · Score: 1

      Just like "Wizard of Oz"?

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    5. Re:Million Dollar Question by TeamSPAM · · Score: 1

      Don't know, but how about he films it with HD cameras and then drops the color. Providing the best black and white picture ever. ;-)

      --
      Brought to you by Team SPAM! where we believe: "Information in the noise!"
  49. So, um by mcc · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Not to give any spoilers or anything, but does this mean that the Clerks "original ending" (it's provided on the DVD as a deleted scene) is now officially non-canon?

    (I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY...)

    --
    Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
    1. Re:So, um by Acidic_Diarrhea · · Score: 0
      Yes. The fact that it was a deleted scene and merely included as an extra means that it was never meant to be part of the canon. Although, even the slightest amount of thought on your part would have already alerted you to that fact.

      So were you just trying to sound "hip" by referencing a deleted scene?

      --
      I hate liberals. If you are a liberal, do not reply.
    2. Re:So, um by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      jesus fucking christ, read a book from time to time you pathetic american piece of shit. for christ's sake, your little wish list is nothing but populist american bullshit for your tv. fuck you and your stunning level of stupidity.

    3. Re:So, um by Daoenti · · Score: 1

      You know what though, there was one deleted scene that was never put on the DVD and I've always wondered why (potential safty hazard?). It used to be avaliable on their webiste and I'd love to find a copy of it again. Did you ever wonder how they got on the roof with their skates on? I remember watching them climb the ladder in their skates one time (they put the skates on in the store and then go up on the roof). If is "hip" enough to know where to get or have a copy of this deleted scene a link to it would be greatly appreciated. (I know it existed, I've seen it, just can't find it now)

    4. Re:So, um by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That "original ending" on the DVD almost single-handedly ruined the movie for me forever.

      What in God's name was Smith thinking when he shot the "original" ending? It was fucking terrible.

    5. Re:So, um by zzyzx · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Well Dante appeared in J&SBSB so it already would have to be non-canon.

    6. Re:So, um by gmhowell · · Score: 1

      Buy my copy of Clerks on laserdisc. And my laserdisc player. You'll get the scene.

      --
      Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. -John Lennon
  50. The passion of Tupac! by TXP · · Score: 1

    I don't think this movie can possibly be better then bent tv's news reel on the "The passion of Tupac". http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/emptvnews.htm l

  51. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Informative

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  52. More Jan and Silent Bob!? by LilMikey · · Score: 1

    I thought in the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back DVD extra material Kevin Smith was retiring the characters? Not that I'm disappointed.

    --
    LilMikey.com... I'll stop doing it when you sto
    1. Re:More Jan and Silent Bob!? by SomeGuyFromCA · · Score: 1

      And at the end of the credits, he has "God" (Alanis Morissette, reprising the role from Dogma) literally "close the book" on the universe.

      In other words, "I know I said what I'd do but that doesn't mean I'll do what I said."

      --
      if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
  53. Kevin Smith's message to you and yours by krog · · Score: 5, Funny

    "All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Slashdot and find those karma-whore fucks who are talking shit, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next."

    --
    Cretin - a powerful and flexible CD reencoder
    1. Re:Kevin Smith's message to you and yours by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 1

      Isn't the parent just a rehashed rant from one of the movies in which Jay and Silent Bob appeared?

      If so, wouldn't funny be a better mod than flamebait.

      --
      Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
    2. Re:Kevin Smith's message to you and yours by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah badass, yeah! Tell 'em! I sick entire of these PFY film "critiques" on Slashdot. They should know when to STFU coz they've already been served by Kevin. And, as if this wouldnt be enough, some Brent guy starts to share his buttwhipe-considerations on Tarantino. They are messing with the work of God.

      They should be fucking killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.

      PS: Mr. Slashdot-movie-basher is so close to Mr. Brown!

    3. Re:Kevin Smith's message to you and yours by matt_gaia · · Score: 1

      That would be a "yep". It was the scene where they meet Shannon Elizabeth's character (Justice, IIRC) at the fast food place in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, to be exact. So with that, and the other bits like the whole C.L.I.T. thing in the flick, definitely not worth a flamebait mod.

  54. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  55. Funny Spoof by OverlordQ · · Score: 1

    Trooper Clerks. Star Wars + Clerks = Insanity.

    --
    Your hair look like poop, Bob! - Wanker.
    1. Re:Funny Spoof by compactable · · Score: 1

      Another good one: Heroes starring Captain America & Daredevil ...

    2. Re:Funny Spoof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Much like Clerks itself, this spoof was one of the lamest pieces of crap I've seen. Who finds this shit funny?

  56. loser slackers never grow up? by peter303 · · Score: 1

    At least their drugie hippie older siblings turned into yuppie scum.

  57. Read Kevin's comments before posting by psyconaut · · Score: 2, Informative

    Here... -psy

  58. Snoogins by BRock97 · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Dude, seriously.

    It is hard to take your comments seriously when you are so obviously biased against Smith and his films. It's too bad you don't like his work, but give the man credit. He is one of the few responsible for revitalizing the independent movie seen in the early to mid 90's (if you don't believe me, give Down and Dirty Pictures a read, good stuff).

    But, to take some of your comments to point:
    • "None of his movies lived up to the expectations that naturally came about as a result of the edginess of the original Clerks..."

      I have to say you are wrong here. Chasing Amy was even more edgy than Clerks could have hoped to be. The story line was much better defined, the characters had more depth, and the ending was a great punch in the face. Fantastic story. Dogma, besides having a sh!t monster that really didn't belong, was a great look at faith. Not quite as edgy as Clerks, but great characters and story. In both of these examples, Smith excels in two areas: being able to get his point across and great dialog.
    • "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was just a series of in-jokes for the rabid Kevin Smith fans."

      So the hell what? Smith never said it was going to be his most brilliant work (but it was his funniest, IMHO). In fact, he always said it was going to be for the fans, nothing more. How can you hold that against the movie when even the writer/director said it wasn't going to be any more than somethign for the fans?
    • "And wasn't that supposed to be the last movie set in the "View Askewniverse""

      Yes, it was. But, something occurred that Smith didn't expect. Jersey Girl was a failure. It did OK in the box office, but I expect he was hoping it would be his transition from "dick and fart" movies to something more sophisticated. That didn't happen; the audience didn't show up. For anyone that would be a huge blow, mentally. So, he decides to go back to what he knows he can do best. Most people would do the same in his place. I, for one, won't have a problem with that, either. As for the comparison between him and Lucas, that analogy doesn't fit. Lucas is making huge bucks from the Star Wars franchise, and he will continue to do so even if VII, VIII, and IX aren't made. The fact that he probably will, though, indicates a want to milk his creation. In what I have read from the above book, I believe that Smith isn't like that, he makes the movies to make movies, cause he loves doing it.
    As you can imagine, I am a huge Smith fan and my posting was just as biased as yours. But, I think both sides needed to be stated.
    --

    Bryan R.
    The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, or $12.50 as seen on eBay.....
    1. Re:Snoogins by Cranx · · Score: 1, Flamebait

      As a Kevin Smith fan, perhaps you could explain why you are a Kevin Smith fan in the first place? I'm not a hater or anything, I like a couple of his movies. He just seems so ... sophomoric. Like a guy who's learning how to write screenplays and make movies, and has learned enough to actually make them, but isn't terribly talented or inspired or anything; more like he's just got a couple of stock characters he made up in high school and now he makes movies with them. What's the real attraction to him as a fan?

    2. Re:Snoogins by Mr+Guy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      For me, the appeal to Kevin Smith is that he looks at Hollywood with an intentional sell out point of view. I feel that his art is that he can "sell out" to such an extent that he manages to lampoon all of Hollywood, internet and pop culture, as well as deep stereotypes all at once.

      I think he has that Python-esque talent of taking a joke too far, then taking farther and farther until it finally wraps around to funny again. An example is the profanity of Jay. He's SO profane I think you start to realize it's just words and the words don't mean anything once they are so over-used. Additionally, the inside Hollywood pandering is evident in all his films, taken to extremes just for the fans in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I think the humor works because he KNOWS he's being shameless. It's raw, unpretentious, lamblasting.

      To quote Homer, "It's true. It's true, it's funny because it's true!"

      --
      Never confuse volume with power.
    3. Re:Snoogins by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Please, PLEASE, divest yourself of any illusions that Kevin Smith had anything to do with bringing about a resurgence in independent cinema. If anything, Smith merely lowered our expectations, so that it became acceptable for indie films to look like crap, sound like crap, and have crappy acting. He blurred the line between "independent" and "amateur," and not in a good way.

      Kevin Smith is a product of the movement, not its originator. The Sundance Film Festival and the Independent Spirit Awards were both more than a decade old when Clerks was made.

    4. Re:Snoogins by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you honestly think Dogma was a great look at faith, I shed a tear for you. You must also think that the Drew Carey Show is a cutting take on interoffice relationships.

    5. Re:Snoogins by ALeavitt · · Score: 1

      It is hard to take your comments seriously when you are so obviously biased against Smith and his films.

      Well, take my comments seriously, because I am not biased against Kevin Smith. I liked Clerks, loved Dogma, and thought Chasing Amy was pretty damn good too. That doesn't mean I liked Mallrats or Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and I didn't even see Jersey Girl, so I guess I'm just not as big a fan as you. However, I don't think the sign of a good writer is making a movie just to pack it with as many inside jokes as possible. Nor do I think it is the sign of a good writer to go back and make an entirely unnecessary sequel. I thought that the Clerks story, while superficial, was wrapped up at the end of Clerks. I also thought that the Jay and Silent Bob universe was pretty much done, as Kevin Smith stated before and after Jay and Silent Bob came out. Following the money rather than following an artistic vision, as Smith is doing by going back to a proven moneymaker that limits his versatility as an artist, makes a writer a hack. Don't agree with me? Look up the word hack. Smith is doing this entirely for the money. That doesn't mean that I'm rabidly anti-Kevin Smith; on the contrary, I will probably see this movie when it comes out. I just disagree in principle with what Smith is doing: taking the easy money by writing a script, which he said he would never write, with a built-in fanbase, rather than going out on a limb and expanding his horizons. Sorry if I've offended you by having an opinion different from yours.

      --
      This sig has been stolen. Return it to its original user for a reward.
    6. Re:Snoogins by kubrick · · Score: 1

      Chasing Amy was even more edgy than Clerks could have hoped to be. The story line was much better defined, the characters had more depth, and the ending was a great punch in the face.

      Yeah, it's just a shame it starred his girlfriend at the time, who has a voice that makes me want to puncture my eardrums with a rusty cheese knife.

      --
      deus does not exist but if he does
    7. Re:Snoogins by BRock97 · · Score: 1

      No offense taken. It's just when you say, "None of his movies lived up to the expectations that naturally came about as a result of the edginess of the original Clerks", I assumed that you didn't care for the other flicks. I do agree that a good writer doesn't fill their movies with inside jokes, but that comment only really applies to Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Still, as I mentioned before, he didn't promise anything else beyond that; it was a movie made for the fans, the only ones who would get the inside jokes.

      I do disagree that he is doing it entirely for the money. Sure, the dude has to eat (not that money is a problem with the thriving comic book store he has), but in the end , he is just giving to the fans what they really want, more Jay, Silent Bob, Randall, and Dante. How does that make him a hack?

      I also didn't say you were "rabidly anti-Kevin Smith", it was just your original message sounded like you had grown to dislike the guy and his work, which will shade anyone's views. Hell, my message was rabidly biased has hell!

      Finally, he did go out on a limb and tried to expand his horizons. It didn't work like he wanted. So, should someone keep trying till they either 1) self destruct or 2) succeed or 3) lick their wounds and try to fight again another day? Personally, I will take 3.

      Again, no offense taken, even if your opinion was totally wrong :). I was just trying to strike up a conversation. And as for my "hard to take..." thing, just trying to get a rise out of ya.....

      --

      Bryan R.
      The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, or $12.50 as seen on eBay.....
    8. Re:Snoogins by Diag · · Score: 1

      I agree with you, and I guess that's why I like his stuff. I'm the same age as him. I understand all of his references and jokes. I feel I can relate to him.

      I really don't get much out of the cruder side of his humour. Like the sh!t monster, and Jay's ramblings, but I can forgive it because that kind of humour just reminds me of some of my mates.

      --
      Serving Suggestion: Defrost
  59. when you have a wife as hot as his... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you can do what the hell you want.

    don't hate the player kids.

  60. uh-oh by bman08 · · Score: 3, Funny
    This story calls for me to summon the mighty and unstoppable might of the all powerful Who Cares.

    Also, didn't he promise to retire jay and sbob after their terrible solo movie?

  61. Meh. Nevvs for nerds? by MrAnnoyanceToYou · · Score: 0

    Err.... Clerks might be nerd-notification vvorthy - five years ago. But at this point, isn't Kevin Smith mainstream enough to be left out of this? He beats most mainstream media, I guess, but he's still in there. Due to Clerks. And yes, it vvas a great movie, but it's mainstream novv.

    --
    My little site.
  62. Clerks Alternate Ending by Philosinfinity · · Score: 2, Interesting

    It seems odd that Smith would pick up the same characters 10 yesrs later when he has some intention of killing Dante in the alternate ending of the first film.

    1. Re:Clerks Alternate Ending by SomeGuyFromCA · · Score: 2, Interesting

      a) that was a discarded ending - and it makes sense that it was, because it's *such* a cheap play to kill off your main character in the last scene.

      b) Dante shows up "later" in J&SBSB, alive and well. So, if he really was shot in the robbery attempt, it was but a scratch, merely a flesh wound, and he's not dead yet.

      --
      if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
  63. how not to argue by andman42 · · Score: 1

    but this movie ranks as one of the most boring movies ever. Right up there with Chariots of Fire.

    I'm with you, yeah that Chariots of Fire really sucked. Did anyone actually like that movie?

    On a side note: I'm reading this fantasy novel, and it sucks, putting it right up there with that Lord of the Rings trilogy.

    1. Re:how not to argue by BillFarber · · Score: 1
      Yep, critics and the academy are never wrong.

      If a movie wins lots of awards, it must be good. So which awards did Clerks win?

    2. Re:how not to argue by andman42 · · Score: 1

      You missed my point.

      Your argument loses credibility when you compare a movie that you don't like to a movie that is generally accepted as being good, like Chariots of Fire. It would have made more sense to compare it to a movie widely accepted as lousy, like Gigli.

  64. If you don't have the name, don't use the quote. by JayAndSilentBob · · Score: 1

    Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

    You sir, are an ass. Oh, and eat our shit....

    --


    Love,
    Jay and Silent Bob
  65. Shouldn't this post... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Shouldn't this post be on Moviepoopshoot.com?

  66. Big mistake by rfernand79 · · Score: 1

    This is a big mistake.

    He should have gone back in time for "Clerks: The Beginning". That's what people want to see. With CGI.

  67. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  68. Be fair... by Mongoose+Disciple · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    That's what you get for having an unpopular opinion and stating it in two inflammatory sentences.

    If you'd written an explanation of what you didn't like about the movies, that's an unpopular opinion. Your post, on the other hand? Troll.

    If you want to troll, go wild. I could be wrong, but I doubt anyone much cares. Just don't write this "Woe is my trampled on free thinking and speech, don't cry for me Argentina" bullshit as an epilogue to it.

  69. Randal and Dante have already been in a sequel. by MisterClever · · Score: 1

    ...Let's not forget about 'The Flying Car': http://viewaskew.com/tv/leno/flyingcar.html

  70. New Host coming! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    From Kev's blog.

    I'm proud to announce we have a new co-host! His name is Alex Albrecht. We auditioned for nearly two months and are very excited to have found him. He's not from G4 or TechTV, but a long time fan and geek. Speaking of geek, he has a BS in Computer Science from AU - he's worked for the Air Force, DOJ, and the RAND corporation to name a few..

    Alex has a great sense of humor and is really going to bring a new level of fun and energy to the show.

  71. The Future by JayAndSilentBob · · Score: 5, Funny

    The setting: Krog's mother's front porch early in the morning of January 28, 2005. Me and Silent Bob have just rung his doorbell.

     Jay - Hello. Do you post as krog on Slashdot.org?

    Krog - Yeah. Why?

    Jay - Did you at any time ever claim to be Jay and Silent Bob?

    Krog - Yeah, a while ago. Why?

    Me and Silent Bob beat the shit out of krog

    --


    Love,
    Jay and Silent Bob
    1. Re:The Future by VStrider · · Score: 1, Informative

      LMAO -> Krog & JayAndSilentBob PS: why Krog's and JayAndSilentBob's posts are modded 0 and 1 ?? watch the movies, then mod them +5 funny ;-)

      --
      VStrider.
    2. Re:The Future by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      January 28 is my mom's birthday -- please bring her a cake!

      -krog

  72. return of the clerks by kendoka · · Score: 1

    I for one am tickled by the news of a new clerks movie. The clerks characters were some of his best and resonated with a lot of our generation while Jay and Silent Bob satirized the buffoons we went to school with. After clerks, Smith just abandoned these characters to get all chummy with Ben Affleck... I've seen 10 million Ben Affleck/Kevin Smith movies... I want to see Randall! =)

  73. oh oh oh damn by humanman42 · · Score: 1

    a couple things, probably every fucking witty comeback has already been said, so i just didnt even read that many post's. and figure im the first to do any of them. my heart almost stopped when i read the headline. oh so close. jay and silent bob BACK! thats thats just beautiful. their are going to be lots of little bitch ass fanboys, and the true lovers of kevin smith's movies (not actual penis to dvd love) will have to sucker punch those basterds into submission nah casey

  74. clerks part 3 by minus_273 · · Score: 1

    i know there is a short skit that is a sequel to clerks. I saw it on leno once. It is in color and has dante and randal in a car.

    --
    The war with islam is a war on the beast
    The war on terror is a war for peace
    1. Re:clerks part 3 by MagusX · · Score: 1

      That's the flying car short, it's on the new Clerks 10th anniversary edition DVD.

  75. What about the Brown Hornet? by syrrys · · Score: 0

    http://www.melaman2.com/cartoons/singles/fatalbert .html

    --
    "Patience is not a virtue, it's a waste of time."
  76. I must be the only person who didn't like it. by khasim · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Chasing Amy that is. I thought it was trite, badly done and badly acted. I keep wondering if it didn't have a lesbian getting laid, would it be as popular as it is.

    1. Re:I must be the only person who didn't like it. by tr33limbz · · Score: 1

      i agree. that movie really bit the big one. i generally fall for smith's cheap gimmicks and wonderful dick and ass humor, but the promise of lesbian sex wasn't even enough to keep that stinker afloat.

      --
      -end of post.
  77. So thats why there was no Jay and Silent Bob in by Rooked_One · · Score: 1
    Jersey Girl....

    Or perhaps Kevin Smith just decided to make it more of a prestige film. If you havn't seen Jersey Girl, its a great CHICK FLICK so your gf, providing you have one, will love it. But it does lack Jay and Silent Bob, which was a disapointment, but hey, at least we get a second dose of Clerks - Smiths best work, right next to Dogma IMHO. Mall Rats was good, but had some B movie qualities in it. I wonder if Clerks 2 will be in black and white.... I would only imagine so.

  78. Re:If you don't have the name, don't use the quote by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

    Didn't see that coming, did you? ;)

  79. Had to do it... by Punk+Walrus · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    "Jay and Silent Bob are terrible, one-note jokes that only stoners laugh at. They're fucking clown shoes. If they were real, I'd beat the shit out of them for being so stupid. I can't believe Miramax would have anything to do with this shit. I, for one, will be boycotting this movie. Who's with me?"

    1. Re:Had to do it... by Punk+Walrus · · Score: 1
      Oh, and the original link (before someone who doesn't get the joke thinks I am serious):

      http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/old/3.html

      [ Big fan of J&SB ]

  80. Re: call it the locker room if you want but by kayote · · Score: 1

    yes, there is something akin to "girls" on Slashdot. Or at least, I'm not one of the "boys" ;)

    And while I'm putting my two cents out here, since when does a sequel have to have anything to do with the first movie besides a common cast of characters?

  81. Is this movie related? by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 1

    Vulgar (Name of the movie)

    The movie itself is, well, vulgar. It's up there in the top five brain alteringly disturbing movies.

    --
    Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
  82. Fuck Randal and Dante by ColonBlow · · Score: 1

    Fuck them up their stupid asses.

    --
    free online diet tracking.
  83. guilty hate by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The opposite of a guilty pleasure, a guilty hate is one of those things that your friends and tribe all like, and will beat you down if you say one bad word about, but you just cannot bring yourself to like and you can't exactly justify it.

    Kevin Smith is my guilty hate. And yeah I saw Clerks, Chasing Amy, the other one where they were all 'Snootchie Bootchie' (which I'm pretty sure could be construed as insulting to women but which my friends and I ended up using as a reference to marijuana) and the other one with the overzealous religious "statement". But nope, I can sit through it, I'll recognize the references and sometimes I'll snicker. But I just couldn't give a damn about the guy's work. It just strikes me as flat. "Mod me down, but..." Sorry.

    1. Re:guilty hate by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      and by insulting to women, i suppose I meant the words "snatch" and "bitch", neither of which may EVER have been uttered in reference to a female, but were construed as such by my perennially-juvenile mind. (plus I'm gay so it's not like it counts, you cow.)

  84. NewsAskew.com by Omega1045 · · Score: 1

    NewsAskew usually has really great coverage of such announcements, but I haven't seen anything yet today. I would bookmark their site, as I am sure they will have a lot more info and the inside scoop. The site is owned my View Askew, Kevin's company.

    --

    Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds. - Albert Einstein

  85. heh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    fuck off slashdot elitists..

  86. Michael Eisner screws it up again by tepples · · Score: 1

    I can't believe Miramax would have anything to do with this shit.

    I can, given Miramax's parent company.

    I, for one, will be boycotting this movie. Who's with me?

    <aol> MEEE TOOOOOO!!!1!1</aol>

  87. Jersey Girl *WAS* spectacular... by raehl · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Just not if you were a critic. It lost major critic points for being "formulaic", but for young people, it really was a romantic comedy that was superior to most romantic comedies. Better dialogue, more depth of character, and J Lo dies. What more could you ask for?

    The problem Kevin has is that he can't possibly be as "successful" dealing with fare other people have dealt with before (Mallrats (teen mall movie)/J&SBSB(road trip movie)/Jersey Girl(romantic comedy)) as he can be with dealing with stuff no one has done before. There was no other movie like Clerks when Clerks was made, as there was no movie like Dogma or Chasing Amy either. It's not that some of the movies are "better" than the others, they're just more "successful" because they're not compared to other similar successful movies that happened to have come first.

    People like me, in their 20's to early 30's, appreciate what Kevin makes, "unique" or not, as being more appropriate for our age group. That's not good for box office success, and it's often not good for great critical acclaim, but it's nice to have generation-specific fare for those of us in that age range.

    It's not like the video clerk would give a customer a pity screw in a romantic comedy your parents would go see, is it?

    Great movies can be quite "unsuccessful", especially if you're not trying to make a movie that is only going to be great for a certain group of people. It's sad that so many people only measure a movie's success against the opinion of the general population.

    --
    paintball
    1. Re:Jersey Girl *WAS* spectacular... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Great movies can be quite "unsuccessful", especially if you're not trying to make a movie that is only going to be great for a certain group of people. It's sad that so many people only measure a movie's success against the opinion of the general population.

      On a related note, everyone go see Donny Darko while it's still in re-release.

  88. I love Clerks by MicroBerto · · Score: 1
    Clerks is my #2 favorite movie. I watch it whenever I'm down (good thing is that hasn't happened recently), it's stupid but it does have AWESOME dialogue and puts things into perspective. The Dante/Randall conversations are unbeatable.

    I like it so much, in fact, that I've refused to ever watch the "original" ending. I don't want to see it, I know what happens, and I don't like it. I'm glad it didn't make the cut.

    That said, I can go 2 ways on this movie. If Smith decides to have yet another dog and pony show with a bunch of hollywooders, keep me out. If he goes back to real deal dialogue by genuine non-actors, then I'm in. It makes it so much more lifelike.

    Can it be in black and white too?

    --
    Berto
  89. Clerks II - Even Dumberer by serutan · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Face it folks, Clerks wasn't all that great. The fact that there are people who identify with the drudgery of working at a dead-end job doesn't make Kevin Smith a good filmmaker, and standing around on the sidewalk smoking for 90 minutes isn't acting.

    1. Re:Clerks II - Even Dumberer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Face it yourself, some people realy like Clerks. I sure do. It's just really funny dialog. Like discussing whether it was ethical to blow up the still-under-construction Death Star in Return of the Jedi, since the civilian contractors would still be on board building it! Either you find that really funny or you don't. Well lots of us do.

      Okay, it's not Shakespeare. Its not a "great" movie in the sense that Lawrence of Arabia was a great movie. But it is what it is and a lot of us really like it. And tell you what, it was really damn original, and some of us give it bonus points for that.

  90. The first two, at least, happen simultaneously. by devphil · · Score: 1


    Same girl dies of a brain aneurism ("wow, died in mid-backstroke") in both films; characters find out about it around act two in both movies.

    Smith actually intended for the three films to all be connected through the same person, but I forget where that person comes into play during Chasing Amy.

    --
    You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
    1. Re:The first two, at least, happen simultaneously. by ttrafford · · Score: 1

      Allyssa's sister does go into the Quick Stop in Clerks- and ends up leaving with Rick Derris, after Dante is accused of selling cigarettes to 6 year olds. So there is a connection there.

      (Holy crap I remember way too much of those movies.)

    2. Re:The first two, at least, happen simultaneously. by marbike · · Score: 1

      The way the timeline works (as far as I understood it) is that Mallrats is what happens the day *before* Clerks.

      Chasing Amy has a reference to the pool girl(I believe she was one of the ex girlfriends of Alyssa).

      --
      it is better to light a flame thrower than curse the darkness. -Terry Pratchett Men at Arms
  91. What about the cartoon? by dancingmad · · Score: 1

    What about Clerks the animated series? I loved the cartoon and I heard some rumblings about a film version of that, though all talk of it seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. Anyone know more than I?

    Clerks the animated series was an animated series that had as much in common with Family Guy and the Simpsons as it does with the original clerks films - (the cast all returned but it had as many asides and silly off the wall jokes as other animated series). It ran on ABC for two episodes or so. I've heard Eisner said he didn't get it and the show was promptly canned. However, a 2 DVD set with 6 episodes of the series was released and it's a ball to watch with friends. The commentary is fun and the show just gets wilder and wilder ans Smith & Co realize it's not going to get aired. I'm not sure if the DVD commentary or IMDB (or both) mentioned it, but there was talk of a film version of the animated series.

    --
    "There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter," Jeeves, (Jeeves and the Impending Doom)
  92. Obligatory Simpsons quote... by Cereal+Box · · Score: 1

    Kevin Smith: "What can I say? It hasn't been easy staying in my rut!"

  93. Dunh dunh dunh dunh... by chud67 · · Score: 0

    ...salsa shark! You're gonna need a bigger boat chief.

  94. Random Jay Quote: by methangel · · Score: 0

    Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Motha Motha Fuck, Motha Motha Fuck, Motha Fuck Motha Fuck,
    Nyoonch Nyoonch Nyoonch,
    1-2, 1-2-3-4, Nyoonch Nyoonch Nyoonch,
    Shmokin Weed, Shmokin Weed, Doin Coke,
    Drinkin Beers, Drinkin Beers Beers Beers,
    Rollin Fatties, Smokin Blunts,
    Who Smokes the Blunts, We Smoke the Blunts!
    Rollin Blunts and Smokin 'em...

    Little Man, Put That Shit In My Hand, If That Money Doesn't Show Then You Owe Me, Owe Me, Owe

  95. Bad Idea by Troll'N · · Score: 1

    A clerks sequel..... This ranks right up there as one of the dumbest things ever right next to greddo shooting first!

  96. Camu Can Do by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Can you drop a few more names next time you make a film-school treatise post?

  97. Why I Love Kevin Smith... movies, MOVIES! by BRock97 · · Score: 2, Funny

    As a Kevin Smith fan, perhaps you could explain why you are a Kevin Smith fan in the first place?

    Kevin Smith, to me at least, is your everyperson, a guy who you could have had a beer with and talk about your favorite flicks or comics or other stuff that I was interested in while growing up. He is the example of someone who likes movies to the point that he made his own, even at quite the cost (in the case of Clerks, a temp enrollment in film school and humongo credit card debt). So, in this respect, you could say I have huge admiration for the man.

    Plus, as many Smith fans will agree, the man knows how to write dialog. A perfect example of this is in Clerks. While the whole presentation was "sophomoric" to a certain extent, his whole dialog on the contract works for the second Death Star was a great hoot (specially now that I am a government contractor, ironically enough). He talked about the lameness of crap jobs and Star Wars in Clerks. He discussed comic books and mallratting in Mallrats. I could go on, but I won't. His dialog that helped to get his point across was easy to relate to. So what if everyone talked in monologue, it was the point that mattered. I would go so far as to say he was one of many voices for the teens growing up in the 90's.

    Now, I am not without criticism. Mallrats wasn't his best work, although it was very funny. Also, I felt the sh!t demon in Dogma did nothing for the movie. Jersey Girl was good but just a bit too derivative. For these reasons, those three movies aren't near the top of the list, which would go: Chasing Amy, Clerks, J&SBSB, Dogma, Mallrats, and Jersey Girl. I enjoyed all of them, but some a great deal more than others. JG shouldn't be included in the list, as it is a COMPLETELY different movie, but in the rankings of Mr. Smith's work, those the picks.

    --

    Bryan R.
    The price of freedom is eternal vigilance, or $12.50 as seen on eBay.....
    1. Re:Why I Love Kevin Smith... movies, MOVIES! by Cranx · · Score: 1

      I enjoyed a couple of his films, but they were very clearly, at least to me, the work of someone who was still learning (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma). I mean, I could never make a movie, so clearly he is very skilled compared to me and most people. But there is just so much wonderful filmmaking talent out there; I don't understand the fixation on Kevin Smith. His attitude is pretty moderate regarding Hollywood compared to people like Sayles or Waters. His talent comes nowhere near Almodovar or Besson. I am not knocking him; god knows I would suck at making films, and perhaps he has a brilliant future. But right now it just seems like he is a little behind the curve. I don't understand the attraction to him from a fan's point of view.

  98. Is it true... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is it true that Jason got busted for heroin on Tuesday?

  99. Re:The final nail in the Kevin Smith coffin by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    the cartoons were the most genius cartoons ever made
    Oh, Puhleez! I watched every episode that ever aired (both of them), and I can count the number of times I laughed on the fingers of no hands.
  100. Re:Um... by Dr.+Evil · · Score: 1

    Nerddom? I thought those were the cool kids!

  101. Didn't Kevin Smith died after filming Xena? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How can he be filming a sequel of anything if he was killed back in 2002? Maybe he was indeed a God of War? :)

  102. Re: call it the locker room if you want but by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Way to go, guys! We managed to smoke her out! Now we just have to... um... um.. *shrugs and walks away*

  103. Ironic. by dswensen · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "It's about what happens when that lazy, 20-something malaise lasts into your 30s. Those dudes are kind of still mired, not in that same exact situation, but in a place where it's time to actually grow up and do something more than just sit around and dissect pop culture and talk about sex," Smith said during an interview at his Hollywood office.

    I find this supremely funny. Kevin Smith, God bless him, has done nothing but revisit the same characters, gags, and environments for the past 10 years. So is this movie about "growing up" supposed to be prescient in some fashion? Because I see no evidence of Smith doing anything of the sort in his body of work thus far.

    Dissecting pop culture and talking about sex is what's made Kevin Smith his fortune, and now, apparently, he's too good for it? What did I miss?

    Don't get me wrong. I love Kevin Smith's movies, and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, arguably his worst film, is actually my favorite. I have no quarrel with being preoccupied with sex, drugs, pop culture, and extremely over-tired Star Wars jokes. But at least be honest about your tastes.

    It will be interesting to see what he does with this material -- I don't care if he makes a buck off it or not (more power too him), but Smith could come off as something of a hypocritical ass if he's not careful. (Not that he will care what critics have to say about him, of course -- another thing I like about Smith.)

    1. Re:Ironic. by crashnbur · · Score: 1
      Dissecting pop culture and talking about sex is what's made Kevin Smith his fortune, and now, apparently, he's too good for it? What did I miss?
      Jersey Girl? (Well, I missed it anyway.)
  104. 10 years in a store? by Darth+RadaR · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think it'd be interesting if Randall and Dante somehow ended up in IT doing hell-desk or Systems Administration. Just picture Randall, the BOFH.

    Randall: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fscking (l)users.

    Randall: I'm firm believer in a ruling class, especially since I have root.

    Randall: (yelling at retreating luser) You're not allowed on my network here anymore.

    --
    /*drunk.. fix later*/
  105. Re:Um... by LiquidMind · · Score: 1

    while we're on the subject of quotes from the movie, allow me to add one of my favorites...

    Olaf: "My love for you is like a truck, berserker!
    Would you like to making fuck, berserker!"
    [....]
    Girl: Did he just say "making fuck"?

    --
    This sig contains repetition and redundancy.
  106. Insane Clown Posse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He's not hurting for money either, not like he's breaking 6 figures or anything, but I'm sure he's making at least 40-60k

    That's not a lot of money considering he has to suck Satan^w Ronald McDonald's cock in a moonlit clearning on a regular basis.

  107. You don't HAVE to watch it by Provocateur · · Score: 1

    ...to me, we're the kids around the campfire. If Kevin has a story to tell, I'd like to listen to it. I even found out what happened in the funeral to have them folks chasing Dante & Randall outta there. Now THAT was pretty satisfying.

    --
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  108. Wireless pocket mp3 player : Soniqcast by ShivanDragon · · Score: 1

    http://www.soniqcast.com/details.html/

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    Poowpoowpo
  109. Snootchie by nooch · · Score: 1


    I, for one, welcome a Clerks sequel. In soviet Russia, Berzerkers make fuck.

    -Nooch

    --
    Fire in the sky
  110. Mallrats had some good Jay quotes too. by Ghostgate · · Score: 1

    "What you need is a fatty boom batty blunt, and I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, ocean, and maybe some of them big-tittied mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit."

    "FLY, FATASS, FLY!"

    And I still laugh every time at the end, during the game show, Jay yells (to T.S. impersonating the contestant "Doug"): "DO IT, DOUG!!!!"

    1. Re:Mallrats had some good Jay quotes too. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I still yell "Fly, fatass, FLY!!!" when I step on the gas in my car.

  111. Who it was--Jon Peters by rd_syringe · · Score: 1, Informative

    He's also the one who wanted the gay robot after seeing the gay black man in Chasing Amy. And he insisted that there be polar bears guarding the Fortress of Solitude, or someone had to fight a polar bear.

    He's a high school dropout, former hairdresser to Barbara Streisand, so what do you expect? Yep, he went on to produce Wild, Wild West as well.

  112. Dante DIES in Clerks!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How are they going to show him 10 years later?

    Show a tombstone with weeds grwoing around it?

  113. Way too much time spent panning Kevin by hellfire · · Score: 2

    Okay, here's how I see it. See the problem everyone has with some of his work. However, I then jump to the fan boards (which I decided to visit because I was interested in their reaction) and they all love the idea.

    This is typically slashdot critique. Pan something you don't like because there's nothing more pleasing to a slashdotter than laying down some negative criticism because the topic doesn't mean your vaunted ideals of what the topic should be all about.

    Compared to a lot of directors, Kevin is poor. The man was doing DVD writer commercials for crissake. Did Spielberg ever do a commercial? EVER? I saw Steven pop up in some charity work, but the man doesn't need to do commercials to make money. So you can't say Kevin is doing this for money.

    Second, Kevin's flicks don't appeal to everyone. He's writing what he wants and what he loves, and he recognizes not everything he writes is perfect. Lucas is an ego maniac driving himself to this one vision that no one can stop him. Kevin isn't writing epics. He's writing a story he feel he needs to tell. No huge gaping plot holes that don't make sense, no timeline gafs. I can't say any movie, good or bad, that kevin has done has had the same kind of cheesy dialog that episode I or II had of star wars (and I'm a star wars fan saying that!)

    Finally, to get some of the stuff, that has to be your in crowd. People are expecting some kind of meaning in all of his movies the way dogma did. That's horseshit. The meaning in most of his movies has to do with the area he grew up in, that small section of north jersey. If that's your thing you are into it and you like it. I personally identify with all this spacey Star wars/trek/babylon 5/farscape/Stargate stuff because sci fi and fantasy are my thing. I only liked Dogma, Jay and silent bob strike back, and Chasing amy, but that's because I couldn't identify with the other flicks. They couldn't keep my interest. Chasing Amy would have made a brillant indie film, Dogma made a huge universal religious statement, with lots of great jabs at the institution, and strike back was just fun, even if it was kinda corny. None of those really had a need to be into the culture Kevin and his fans are so deeply into.

    I think Kevin is just making things that appeal to him and thanks to the great capitalistic system he's finding a way to get those films released. They are not all run away successes, yet some people truly love them because they identify with those flicks.

    I started taking offense when the slashdot hounds started comparing Kevin to the hollywood ego directors like Lucas and Tarantino. These people need to get some perspective.

    --

    "All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"

  114. Um, just a sec by FlyingOrca · · Score: 1

    If you haven't integrated Clerks into your personal lexicon, you have no business moderating here.

    I think you're reaching a little too far there. While I thought Clerks was a good flick when I finally saw it a couple of years ago, I have to say that keeping up with any one expression of pop culture should hardly be considered a prerequisite for moderator privileges.

    Now, not being familiar with the particular pop culture reference at hand should be enough to keep anyone with a functioning cortex from moderating a given comment or thread; that's why I don't moderate any TV references, and pretty much skip anything to do with games. I don't do either.

    But there's lots of "stuff that matters" besides entertainment, and people who know something about it should feel free to moderate the stuff they know. Cheers!

    --
    Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
  115. How about stop being complete and total sexist by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    dickwads you assholes!

    What the fuck is wrong with you all?

  116. Smith does better with Low budget by micron · · Score: 1

    Does anyone else see the pattern here:
    Clerks: low budget, great film
    Mallrats: bigger budget, crap film
    Chasing Amy: Smaller budget, gets good reviews
    Dogma: bigger budget, a lot of people don't get it

    Whenver the guy gets a lot of money, IMHO, the movie stinks. When his budget is restricted, he makes good art.

  117. Netflix by poofyhairguy82 · · Score: 1
    Or rent it on Netflix!

    Give /.ers some credit!

    .

    .

    .

    Now take it back!

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    Open Source Sushi

  118. Tubby bitch by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    So much for closing down the View Askewniverse, you sold out fuck. I guess Smith has realised that he can't pay the mortage making pointless mainstream tripe like Jersey Girl, even by blackmailing date rapist Affleck into mouth whoring for him indefinitely.

    I guess he'll just have to go back to having the same drop outs and dopers grind out the same tired old Star Wars and stolen Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex comics references until his age demographic chokes itself to death on Jar Jar dolls to escape the monotony. Well, if it keeps that dumb fuck Mewes from selling his ass for heroin and getting busted yet again, then good luck to him.

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  119. Mewes hasn't been CAUGHT for a couple of years by Rogerborg · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    He'll blow the money on, well, blow, sure as night follows day, sure as every even numbered Star Trek film sucks ass.

    --
    If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    1. Re:Mewes hasn't been CAUGHT for a couple of years by 808140 · · Score: 1

      You're getting it wrong. Every odd numbered Star Trek sucks ass. Let's take a look, shall we? Evens:

      • The Wrath of Khan. One of the best.
      • The Voyage Home. Arguably the best.
      • The Undiscovered Country. Quite good.

      Conversely, the odds:

      • The Original. Ok. V'Ger was kinda lame, but we'll let it pass, it was the first one.
      • The Search for Spock. Oh, come on. This movie sucked monkey anus.
      • The Final Frontier. Jesus christ, this one is probably the worst.

      Convinced now?

  120. It didn't "make back its money" by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    After marketing costs - not to mention re-editing to cut as much of Lopez as possible - it lost several million. That makes Smith fucking anathema in mainstream now. Mainstream is a zero risk business - you don't get a second chance.

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  121. He SHOULD be afraid of directing action scenes by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    He fucked them up royally in Dogma. Hey, Kevin, you can't have two people hold each other back, you putz. The decent scenes in J&SB:SB were farmed off to the second unit.

    Smith's biggest problem is that the only thing he can do tolerably well is dick and fart jokes, and he's basically alienated the demographic that enjoyed them by saying that he's sick of it, and sick of people who ask for more J&SB and say that they didn't like Chasing Amy.

    Well, tough luck, Kevin. You demonstrably can't do anything else, other than write crappy false sounding dialog, so stick to what you know or give up the fight and just stick to being Comic Book Guy.

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  122. Translation by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    "I know that I'm a sold out whore, and I don't have a fucking clue what it's going to be about or how to make it suck as little as possible, so I'm going to get passive aggressive and alienate even more of my dwindling fanboy base. Hahaha, Movie Poop Shoot, I already parodied you, you don't get to criticise me."

    --
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  123. It's too late by Rogerborg · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    If he wanted to die young, he should have done it before Jersey Girl. Now we all know that he's just a second rate hack with nothing to bring to the party but dick and fart jokes, and a strong line in self loathing.

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  124. How's he going to have a good time? by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    The set will be beseiged by angry nerds demanding that he cease and desist. All of his time will be spent in posting passive aggressive rants about why he's not going to get caught up posting any more passive aggressive rants. His wife will be counting every penny and pencilling in divorce papers, and any profits will have to go on therapy for his kid. What's fun about that?

    --
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  125. Hey, fuck you kindly for the flamebait rating by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    Have you even fucking seen Jersey Girl? Watch first, then rate. Try and understand that it's the same god damn guy directing this film.

    --
    If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    1. Re:Hey, fuck you kindly for the flamebait rating by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      metamodded unfair :)

  126. Fuck The Askewniverse by Lord+Kano · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Seriously. While I find the movies to be funny, The first three of them have one common thread. Man bashing; making men look like unreasonable assholes because they were upset by things that should upset them.

    In Clerks, Dante is made to look unreasonable because he gets so upset when he finds out that his girlfriend has sucked 37 dicks.

    In Mallrates, TS is made to look unreasonable because he gets upset when his girlfriend calls off their Florida vacation (ON THE DAY that they're supposed to leave)so she can be on a dating game clone.

    In Chasing Amy, Holden is made to look unreasonable because he gets upset when he finds out that his girlfriend, who led him to believe that he was the only man she'd ever been with, had the nick name "fingercuffs" when she was younger because she was in the meat in a MFM sandwitch.

    All three of these characters had very legitimage reasons to be upset, but in the Askewniverse they're made to look like unreasonable assholes.

    LK

    --
    "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
    1. Re:Fuck The Askewniverse by BlacKat · · Score: 2, Funny

      Perhaps that's because they are unreasonable assholes?

      Or could it be that my view is tainted since I'm female? ;)

    2. Re:Fuck The Askewniverse by Lord+Kano · · Score: 1

      Perhaps that's because they are unreasonable assholes?

      Maybe they were, but the things that they were upset about and their reactions were not unreasonable

      Or could it be that my view is tainted since I'm female? ;)

      Are you the type of female who has sucked 37 dicks? Have you ever waited until the day you were supposed to leave and called off a vacation with a guy so that you could appear on a dating game clone? Have you ever lead a man to believe that he was the only man you'd ever been with, while witholding information that you had been filled from both ends?

      If you can answer yes to any of those questions, perhaps that's why your view is tainted.

      LK

      --
      "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
    3. Re:Fuck The Askewniverse by BlacKat · · Score: 1

      "Maybe they were, but the things that they were upset about and their reactions were not unreasonable."

      Well, personally I think Dante's reaction to Veronica's past sexual history was a bit unreasonable in Clerka. Esepcially since for Veronica sucking a penis isn't anywhere near as intimate as actual sex.

      I could understand plans being cancelled so that someone could appear on a game show. In Mallrats the other contenstant had DIED and the spot needed to be filled to save the show.

      As for the "fingercuffs" situation... well Chasing Amy is a whole different kettle of fish and can hardly be compared to "normal" situations... but even in that movie, Holden really has some big issues and seriously overreacts to quite a lot...

      So... my view isn't tainted, I guess I just look at the world differently then you. ;)

    4. Re:Fuck The Askewniverse by Lord+Kano · · Score: 1

      Well, personally I think Dante's reaction to Veronica's past sexual history was a bit unreasonable in Clerka. Esepcially since for Veronica sucking a penis isn't anywhere near as intimate as actual sex.

      What's relevant to his response isn't how SHE felt about oral contact, it's the way HE felt about it.

      37 is an outrageous number of dicks for a college aged woman to have sucked. That would be a deal breaker for me too.

      I could understand plans being cancelled so that someone could appear on a game show. In Mallrats the other contenstant had DIED and the spot needed to be filled to save the show.

      Julie's death wasn't TS's problem, but his girlfriend waits until he's there to pick her up to tell him that she's cancelling the trip with him so that she can go on a romantic getaway with the winner of the game show. He was supposed to take this well?

      As for the "fingercuffs" situation... well Chasing Amy is a whole different kettle of fish and can hardly be compared to "normal" situations... but even in that movie, Holden really has some big issues and seriously overreacts to quite a lot...

      Holden had an issue with being mislead. Perfectly normal.

      LK

      --
      "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
  127. Both black & white AND color? by flimflam · · Score: 1

    At the same time?

    Or in a row?

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    -- It only takes 20 minutes for a liberal to become a conservative thanks to our new outpatient surgical procedure!
  128. Carrie FIsher by EvilStein · · Score: 1

    ..was also in "The Blues Brothers"

    Dude, she chased them through a tunnel with an M-16. That was one of the funniest parts of the movie. :P

  129. I assure you we're open by sk8fool · · Score: 1

    Why does it smell like shoe polish in here?

  130. Obligatory Jay & SB Strike Back joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Do you post as "ALeavitt" on Slashdot?"

    "Yes"

    "Did you post:

    To me, this represents Kevin Smith taking the final plunge into sheer hackdom. None of his movies lived up to the expectations that naturally came about as a result of the edginess of the original Clerks, so Kevin Smith is kowtowing to his fans' demands rather than making good movies. Jersey Girl both sucked and bombed. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was just a series of in-jokes for the rabid Kevin Smith fans. And wasn't that supposed to be the last movie set in the "View Askewniverse" that contained movies like Clerks and Mallrats? To me, this just makes Smith sound a lot like George Lucas. "I'll never make another sequel in this series. Wait, what? Money? Oh, yeah, I'll do it for money. What do you guys want to see? More Jay, more Randall, and the origins of Boba Fett? Ok, here's exactly what you want! Now pay me!"

    on August 30, 2004?"

    "Uh, yeah."

    (ass-kicking ensues)

  131. Parent Is a Quote from JASBSB. Not Flamebait. by bADlOGIN · · Score: 1

    Bunch of savages on this 'Net forum... :)

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    *** Sigs are a stupid waste of bandwidth.
  132. I hope it's good by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I think one of my main problems with Kevin Smith movie is all his main "characters" just sound like Kevin Smith talking to Kevin Smith. Aside from Jay and a handful of others, of course.

    That said, probably my favorite movies of his are Dogma and Mallrats. Yeah, I'm one of the 3 guys who loves Mallrats. I loved Clerks when I was a teenager like nearly a decade ago, but it didn't really do it for me when I watched it again recently. I went in fully expecting to love it but apart from a few chuckles I didn't really care about it either way.

    I seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back in the theater twice and thought it was so insanely great and I loved it, but when I got the DVD I wondered why I liked it so much. I guess it just didn't hold up to multiple viewings for me very well. But I always come back to Dogma and Mallrats.

    Chasing Amy and Jersey Girl are too middle-of-thhe-road for me to have anything to say about either way.

  133. Re:How do I short? by jasonditz · · Score: 1

    Vulgar?

    That fucking movie gave me nightmares...

  134. The Flying Car by phr0stbyte · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Anyone that has seen the Flying Car short on Jay Leno by Kevin Smith, featuring Dante and Randall, knows that the new Clerks Movie will work.

  135. 2003 eyes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I first saw Clerks in 2003 and thought it was funny as all tarnation. It reminded me of Suburbia but funnier and better written. This is what life is like for most young people, just hanging out with their friends doing nothing much at all, shooting the shit with their mouths, wasting away the time. It is something most youths can always relate to. Not some stupid movie about jocks like Varsity Blues.

    By today's standards it still stands up. All his other movies were not the best apples on the tree, the ratio of unfunny jokes to funny jokes was worse compared to Clerks. I have not seen Jersey Girl, but Dogma and Chasing Amy(I did not like them at all), I had to like the least of all so far.

  136. No comparison to Porky's or Animal House by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How can you say Porky's, a movie about a group of underage high schoolers hanging out a sleazy bar or Animal House, a movie about an under-achieving, about to be booted frathouse fighting back, have anything in common with Clerks, a movie about 20 somethings still living in their hometown with shitty jobs at a convenience store and video store?

    The thing about Clerks is you can relate to it. When you were in highschool or in your early twenties were you loaded with money, with places to go people to see? Or did you have a shitty job and your main form of entertainment was shooting shit verbally with your friends, basically not doing much? The only time they left the store parking lot in Clerks was in the beginning before both of the main characters were at work and when they went to that funeral.

    Animal House, I finally saw it and I thought it was over-rated. Superior comedies like "American Pie" have made it just seem bland. Maybe it was funnier in its time, but to a 22 year old like me it was not as good as it is made out to be. The only thing saving the film was Mark Metcalf's portrayl of Doug Neidermeyer, the uptight and condescending drill sergeant.

  137. I did not like it either or Dogma by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The main actress was not attractive, not her body, her face and especially not her horrible voice.

    Chasing Amy and Dogma were shitty movies. The dialog was contrived like the writer was trying to hard to get the audience up to speed with the movie environment. It is better for a movie not to muscle the dialog and to trim it down.

  138. Dogma and Chasing Amy, too much steroids by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Dogma and Chasing Amy were just bad movies. The dialogue was unreal, not believable one bit. When you read a novel most of the time, the characters are not talking, the author uses parantheses when he wants to denote the characters' dialogue.

    For example:
    "Ain't nothing wrong with killing a coon. Dem varmins are repreducing something awful in dese parts."

    Sometimes authors write dialogue like that, on purpose using the wrong grammar and spelling for a reason, alot of people talk like that. You cannot construct complex nuanced arguments in the height of an spontaneous argument or debate.

    The dialogue in Chasing Amy or even moreso for Dogma seemed not a like a true dialogue but like something expected out of the body of text in a novel, not something people talk about in regular conversation. Dogma was a shoddy philosophical work(the man is no philosopher of merit) with an unrealistic, steroided dialogue. The plot was also bad. It failed in both of its pretensions, it pretension to drama and its pretension to comedy.

  139. That was a punk song by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The berserker thing was a real song. It was done by a band called Love Among freaks, who did the whole soundtrack for Clerks.

    Go and make some making fuck

    1. Re:That was a punk song by Anarke_Incarnate · · Score: 1

      Clerks had songs from recognized bands in it. Alice in Chains is one of them. They could not have just had a soundtrack made for them, could they

  140. woah... by autopr0n · · Score: 1

    I guess that was taken out. What exactly happened? How did he die? and what was the reaction of the other charactes?

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    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
    1. Re:woah... by galaxy300 · · Score: 1

      If I remember correctly, the store was robbed, and he died in the ensuing fight. I think his final words were...

      (of course) ...I wasn't even supposed to work today!

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      seriouslyexcited.net
  141. Huh? by autopr0n · · Score: 1

    It's entirely possible to live a full and normal life while adicted to heroin, provided you have easy access to it. The problem for these people is the WoD, not the drug itself.

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    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
  142. Another sign of Kevin's slide into mediocrity by ncstockguy · · Score: 1

    Dogma and Chasing Amy were OK. But a sequel of Clerks? Reminds me of a crowd cheering and calling for an encore of an American Idol runner-up. Just don't ask me to watch it...

  143. AAARGH! I fumbled a nerd quote by Rogerborg · · Score: 1

    I don't deserve to live.

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  144. The Bennifer Effect by Dephex+Twin · · Score: 1

    I don't know how many other people felt like me, but after the inane Bennifer stuff in the media, and then the stupid Gigli (which of course I didn't see, but even the media surrounding how bad it was was annoying!), I just could not get myself excited about a movie starring Ben Affleck, and in addition with J-Lo in it, even if she barely had any screen time at all. So I never got around to seeing it, even though I love Kevin Smith movies and have gotten excited about every other one.

    That aspect could have hurt the movie a great deal as well, possibly...

    --

    If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. -- Carl Sagan
  145. troll or sarcasm? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not funny either way. If you were real, I'd beat the shit out of you for being so stupid.

    1. Re:troll or sarcasm? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nether actually. It was a reference to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

  146. Yeeeeeeeeah. by /dev/trash · · Score: 1

    it's also possible to lead a life of luxury if you car allowed to rob banks without being punished too.

  147. Alice in Chains Song by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Even though I saw the movie not too long ago in 2003, I already forget about the Alice in Chains song until you mentioned it. That kick started my memory.

    The Alice in Chains played around the time of the Funeral Scene, right?