Domain: landoverbaptist.org
Stories and comments across the archive that link to landoverbaptist.org.
Comments · 115
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Re:Results not surprising...
Lucky for us True Christians copyright infringement is not a sin, at least, not since i looked.
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I think you're a
I think you're a (Score:1)
by gd23ka (324741) on Friday September 03, @07:50AM (#10148077)
( http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ )
"LandoverBaptist.org" and "GodHatesFags.com". These two websites are flogged to death by the christofascist-agenda driven radical theocratic ngo/govt "traditional values" lobby aka as the "Focus on the Family", "Christian Coalition" and many others.
Some of you will probably shake your heads and wonder why I get so upset just because he linked to the website "LandoverBaptist.org". I have spent a lot of time on the side, researching and reading up on these people and "family values" is a word they're _extremely_ fond of using in all kinds of contexts such as promoting creation "science", opposing sex education, censoring what you read or view, etc.
Fire up Google or your favorite searchengine and see for yourself. Search for phrases like "traditional family values". Read what they put up on their sites. You will be surprised how open and candid these people are about their plans for our future: a future where enforcing their theological beliefs is far more valuable than human freedom.
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Re:Contact Info?
Just one 'generalization': You cannot, in fact, handle the truth.
You didn't see it and you won't see it. You're afraid of it.
More of my favourite quotes for you:
It is as useless to argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason as to administer medication to the dead.
- Thomas Jefferson
1) A strong belief is more important than a few facts.
2) The stronger the belief, the fewer the facts.
3) The fewer the facts, the more people killed.
- Milton Rothman
Serious rational criticism is so rare that it should be encouraged. Being too ready to defend oneself is more dangerous than being too ready to admit a mistake.
- Sir Karl Popper
It is especially important to encourage unorthodox thinking when the situation is critical: At such moments every new word and fresh thought is more precious than gold. Indeed, people must not be deprived of the right to think their own thoughts.
- Boris Yeltsin, _Against_the_Grain:_An_Autobiography_ (tr. Michael Glenny' Summit Books, 1990; p. 172)
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it with religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
PS Didn't I see you at the Landover Baptist Church on Sunday? http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ -
Re:It ain't that easy kid...
Is that website: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ a parody or not?
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Re:Cheap alternative to this system
Same research ceneter developed the "Penny Drop" test. this test is 95.6% effective in detecting jewish people. Oh, also we are currently testing our pork test on vegans. According to my research ALF, Animal Liberation Front, PeTA, People for Erotic Treatment of Animals, are made up of mostly vegans and these guys, according to the FBI, are biggest domestic terrorist threat in america. anyways, more information about Ceneter for Creation Research and Landover Baptist visit http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
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Re:Ninnle has you ! - Nincompoop
Landover Baptist Church - Where the worthwhile worship "the unsaved are not welcome (as jesus commanded*)".
Yeah, that sounds like something jesus would say. lol. I guess you can't judge all protestants by this church, but I am sooo glad the Catholic Church has moved away from BS like this.
Mind-Altering Energy Drink Turns Senior High Bible Study Into Godless Sex Orgy
Nowdays, doctrine is more along the lines of ``we believe this, ... we think...but if you don't that's cool, cause we don't want to offend anyone''.
It's not to avoid offending, its because Catholics believe that who you are as a person is more important than what church you go to, or if you even go to church. To me thats a hell-of-alot better than "we believe this and you have to too. Follow our rules! Here's some more laws!". -
Re:WTF?
Well, don't worry. If the theoretical aliens are truly intelligent life, they won't believe in the baby Jesus anyway.
Hopefully they'd have a sense of humor, so we can laugh together at the "God told me to hate YOU" people.
-Jem -
Re:ObLink...
Fiction ?
Why dont you visit this link.Landover page for example, and then visit
NetBible.org then check out and tally all bible references on the landover page.
Try Numbers Chap 31 for starters .. especially verse 17. I dont see why I should take any of this seriously. But many people do take it seriously.. thats why the world continues to be so fucked up I guess. Whats worse is so many people on slashdot (arguably having a populace with higher average intellect) takes it seriously.
This is the first time I've been to the landover site ... and while it may be possible that they are around just to make money, it does not change the fact that the bible is nonsense. -
Landover Baptist Church goes Unreal!
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Re:WWJD?Cool story.
:^) I haven't figured out if these people are serious or not. If they're supposed to be a spoof like Landover Baptist, there's no obvious signs of it. If they just wanted to make money, they could have started their own religion like some 3rd rate hack sci-fi writer. If they just want to combine religion with a certain amount of humour, then bravo!What I want to know is, will they have customizable skins, and can I join a clan?
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ObLink...
...to the best Church site on the net: Landover Baptist Church. Praise the Lord!
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Re:Shall be interesting to see how they depict the
How in hell's name was Jar-Jar offensive!?
Innocent Kids use Jar-Jar as masturbation toys! ;) -
Re:Jesus has risen from the dead and wants REVENGEY'know, I think Jesus had one hell of a lag problem. It took him three days to re-spawn...
Jesus ut2k4 mod here
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Re:Spoilers?
A pity I couldn't find the sketch for the scene where they decapitate Jar Jar.
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Remember...
But remember...
"Return of the King" is really about Jesus! -
Re:*snore*
Well, if you listen to the bonus material on the DVDs (which I encourage everyone to buy)
I did and so do I...
they decided to give it a shot and ran eight or nine episodes. Maybe they were out of order, maybe some like The Train Job were out of order, but the fact is, Fox thought they had a loser and they went with it anyway.
One of those episodes played at 12:05 am after being advertised for 8pm, the other at 12:20am. That is not giving it a chance.
The reality is that Firefly was the best sci-fi show to come along in recent memory, and that was't what Fox wanted.
They wanted what Fox sells: Cheap and dumb, not excellent and smart. That's not their demographics.
But most nerds aren't that smart. They'll buy it anyway, because if it's got the "Star Wars" label attached they can't resist. (Note to self: Market "Star Wars Brand Latex Condoms" at 350% markup. They don't even have to work, nobody who would buy a Star Wars Brand Condom could possibly have a need for one.)
Yeah, I take a stand against being exploited by greedy companies, most nerds are all too happy to be exploited though, I think it makes them feel needed.
And as for the condoms, I'd buy 'em! I do own the "french-kiss Jar Jar Binks" toy (gag gift) and the assorted Jar Jar lip balm (bought it to make the gag gift even funnier). -
Re:It's not that they're devils ....
It's not just associated with valour and giving ones life for "liberty".
It's a direct reference to a specific photograph of Iwo Jima. It is also associated with WWII. Landover Baptist might have a problem with the daemons, but the rest of the world might have a problem with the association with the US military.
Plus, it really is a crappy logo. It's a cute cartoon, and I appreciate its sentiment, but it's not going to get used in any magazine article on NetBSD, though. Not nearly as cool as Hexley, the Darwin logo. (He's a platypus wearing a daemon costume. Get it? Isn't he cute! If he weren't so dark skinned, they'd use him in magazines *everywhere*.) -
Re:fundamental flaw
I found your post very humerous and I realize it was in jest, but if your gonna act like a religious zelot, atleast try to make sense looking like one.
The problem is, he wasn't acting at all. As one other poster pointed out, this isn't original.I've seen that site before, however, and my friends and I disagree on whether or not it's a joke site, a la http://www.landoverbaptist.org/. I partly of the opinion it's a joke. No one could be that big of an idiot, right? Right?
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Re:In other news...
> That is a very scary/funny website. It sounds exactly like what those wackos really say, yet it was too messed up to be true
It in fact looks exactly like a cousin to the famous and outrageously funny Landover Baptist site. The article on the site that excoriates them just reinforces my suspicion that it's the same person or outfit. -
Re:Mod parent overrated please!
Taken from the Douay Rheims, commentary and all:
9. Blessed be he that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock.
(Dash thy little ones, etc... In the spiritual sense, we dash the little ones of Babylon against the rock, when we mortify our passions, and stifle the first motions of them, by a speedy recourse to the rock which is Christ.)
We're not talking about some spiritual sense here. This is from a culture which said it's okay to slaughter anything that breathes when you war against another culture. -
Re:Evolution not for everybody
Who are these informed fundamentalist Christians of which you speak?
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Re:Lots of movies are blasphemous
Oops. Actually, the landover baptist matrix review is here. I don't know why there isn't a link from the main movies page.
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Lots of movies are blasphemous
Sure, the Matrix is blasphemously co-opting Christ's passion to sell cherry pepsi and black trenchcoats.
However, this is nothing new.
Seriously, the similarities between this CSM article and the joke pieces at landover baptist are stunning. Satire is rendered irrelevant. -
Re: Mac OS X spreads evolutionist propaganda! (OT)
From an Addendum to the linked article:
"ADDENDUM III (4/20/2002): Another reader (it has been busy today!) has informed me of another link between Apple and the forces of darkness that my initial research missed. Apparently the Darwin OS is not the original creation of Apple Computers but is instead based off of an older, obsolete OS called "BSD Unix". The child-indoctrinatingly-cute cartoon mascot of this OS is a devil holding a pitchfork (pictured right). This OS -- and its Darwin offspring -- extensively use what are called "daemons" (which is how Pagans write "demon" -- they are notoriously poor spellers: magick, vampyre, etc.) which is a program that hides in the background, doing things without the user's notice. If you are using a new Macintosh running OS X then you probably have these "daemons" on your computer, hardly something a good Christian would want! This clearly illustrates that not only is Macintosh based on Darwinism, but Darwinism is based on Satanism."
heh...this site is almost as good as Landover Baptist -
Re:They have a MASSIVE computer animation system..
He's a guy but according to my church he's also gay.
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Re:Great, and when they graduate with zero Windows
The concept, and I think this is obvious, is that when they graduate they will go to college. Who goes directly into any job that requires computer experience without at least an associates degree, anyway? I will answer your comment as if it were serious, anyway.
The school is question is an elaborate joke promulgated by the people at landover baptist, with a yearly tuition of US $2290. Colleges cost more, but only for four years. I imagine that even students on their scholarship program (the tuition is minimally US $590 per anum) mostly go on to college, especially the nerds in the computer room.
If the parents can afford to send their kids to private school, they can probably afford to send them to college. The ones in the computer room are likely to want to go.
For that matter, if the parents can afford to send their kids to a private school, they probably have computers at home, and they probably run windows; the hippies-for-christ up in Maine may choose to avoid computers in their homes, but I don't really think it's much of an issue. -
BURN, HERETIC!
How dare you take the pre-Umbilist position about BELLY BUTTONS? Every KNOWS that GOD did not create BELLY BUTTONS! These unspeakable signs of SIN -- they cannot appear without ABOMINABLE fornication -- formed when MAN fell from the GRACE of GOD by eating a BREAST-SHAPED FRUIT. You will BURN in HELL forever!
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Re:Design, Intelligence, Absolute Ethics & Hot
From their Terms of Service:
"The Landover Baptist Church is a complete work of fiction. It is a satire/parody."
Of course, as to American Christians, especially Baptists and the entire Religious Right, they are most definitely scary. -
A green eyeball?
Disney's version wasn't an eyeball -- it was a talking testicle!
This suit is frivolous! -
Join Us In A Book Burning
The burning of books is nothing new to True Christians®. We invented the practice over two-thousand years ago as a way to promote our faith. Unlike the sissy Christians we have running around today, the early followers of Christ were never ashamed to burn books. One of the great signs that the Holy Spirit is moving in the hearts and souls of Americans is our glorious and sacred return to the practice of book burning. Secular humanists and Atheists have spent hundreds of years trying to make "book burners" look bad. Oftentimes the media paints a terrible image of book burners. "They make us out to look like fanatics or Germans," said one Christian. The Landover Baptist Church is proud to be sponsoring America's Largest Book Burning on Satan's Birthday, October 31st. This will be the third consecutive year we have held the event. Thousands of churches in America have collected millions of Harry Potter books to be burned that very night. As a Christian, you should be eager to participate in this Bible based tradition. As most Christians already know, the Harry Potter book series is the most evil and dangerous set of books to be released this century. "The Potter series is worse than pornography. The books are even more dangerous than the Satanic Bible," To celebrate the delayed release of the fifth Harry Potter book, The Truly Saved® all across America are calling upon the name of Jesus this Halloween to decrease the number of Harry Potter books currently circulating in America by at least 70%. "We're giving True Christian® school children the Biblical authority to remove these evil books from their school libraries, bookstores, homes, grocery stores, and anywhere they find them, Friends, let's help this great Country return to it's True Christian® roots. Wont you please set up a Holy Ghost book are at your local church on Satan's Birthday this Halloween? Thank you." A member of For True American Christians
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What a Godless show!
Kate Humble may be a hottie, but there is a much better reality show coming your way: Bible Fear Factor
1. The First Challenge: Collect 200 Foreskins (1 Samuel 18:27)
Each Bible Fear Factor contestant will have 8 hours to collect two hundred foreskins with nothing more than a toenail clipper, a roll of paper towels, a Mason Jar, and 3 bus tokens....
"Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife." (1Samuel 18:27) -
Re:Simple purpose
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Hollywood is evil..
Those of you who haven't yet figured out just how evil hollywood is, absolutely have to read this !Makes you wonder what this world is coming to !
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Re:Bullshit. I saw one.
I was going to post this anonymously, but then decided it would just lessen my credibility.
No, what lessens your credibility is your website. -
Behold.. Jesus!
Greetings, Brothers. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Emmanuel Goldstien, and I, like yourselves, am I competent and relinquished programmer. However, my friends, it was not until a year ago until I realised that there was more to life than punching ASCII characters into the text editor of your choice. I had discovered Jesus. Now, let me provide a little background information about myself. I was once a devout Satanist and Communist. . I personally hated Our Lord more than anything on earth. My love for Big Brother used to exceed that of my own mother! In a nutshell, I was a God-hating Homosexualist Socialist Propagandist, valuing nothing but the satisfaction of the State and my own Sinful ways. Then, I was struck by a light. At the time, I didn't know what hit me -- all I knew was that I suddenly had found profound meaning in life. And from that moment on, I decided to devote myself to our Lord Jesus Christ. Now, I encourage you (that is if you want to go to heaven) to, right now, get up out of your chair, rip out your computer, throw it off of a cliff, and proclaim, "I love The Lord!". You will undoubtedly feel like a new person, and you will have no use for the mindless entering of text into godless machines. Thank you for you consideration, and God Bless.
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landoverbaptist.org...if you like the onion......check out this site.
"go home everybody...go home"
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Thank God for Landover
I saw this news last night on teletext. So far I haven't heard what sites have been blocked and it appears to be restricted to Italian sites only. At least Landover Babtist is still up and running. Warning: This site is very funny. And you can still get your Cradle of Filth T-shirts here.
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Re:Welcome to humanity
I agree with this post.
Whilst there is probably no totally unbiased media, at least if one of the major outlets (eg the BBC) did start publishing things which were clearly untrue, another organisation would pick up on it and criticise. (This is, of course, until Rupert Murdoch owns 90% of the media outlets.) On the Internet, anyone can publish anything and have it look professional and authorotative (apart from me - my HTML sucks). It is possible to troll bigtime (whoever modded the FP as troll needs to read the definition).
For all I know, the 4,000 jews who were warned not to work in the WTC on 9/11 may be true. If it isn't true, it's a fantastic troll.
To summarise, it's possible for all sorts of people to appear to be an authority for very little money. Tradiotional media does not allow this. I'm sure that there are some poor deluded saps out there who believe that Landover Baptist are a real Christian organisation, that Stephen King was really found dead aged 54, that this is an informative link.
On a puerile level, this is why trolling is fun. On a more serious level, who can you believe?
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Re:I only hope so...
And yes, I know it's not for real. But the frightening part is, it's not that far from. There were, after all, Christian sects trying to get most Disney movies banned. Beauty and the Beast, for example. For similar reasons; black magic, beastiality, tools of the devil, blah blah blah.
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I only hope so...
I need them to bring out those Life Size Jar Jar Dolls again!
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Re:Apple promotes Darwinism, un-Christian like val
Brilliantly insane, perhaps. Unfortunately, this Dr. Paley is dead serious. In case you've never had the misfortune to be involved with a fundie church, I'm here to tell you that this sort of thing is pretty typical of the "everyone that isn't with us is against us" paranoia many of this type espouse on a daily basis.
Which accounts for the success of Landover Baptist: it's damned difficult to tell them apart from the real fundies. Though they are admittedly more over-the-top, they're (frightenly enough) not too far from those they parody.
(My first exposure to Landover: Jar Jar Sexdolls?)
Gautama, doing the bad-Karma avoidance shuffle... -
So you think this is a hoax
Look at the rest of the site, it drips with innocent stupidity. They are trying to shut down another web site, one they think is anti-Falwell, which if you want a parody go there; it's a total gut-buster.
Come on people, get your heads out of the sand. The Internet is crawling with stuff like this, and worse. The Fundies have Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson totally fisting us off in Washington. The 10 Commandments in the schools, give me a break.
I'd beseech the Goddess for well-placed lightning bolt, but hey, that would just play into their hands. -
It is a hoax (credits)
Well, its been said, but for those aren't convinced that this is a hoax, check out this
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A related siteAlso at the same site...
Objective Landover Baptist Shutdown aims to get religious parody (?) site Landover Baptist shut down, removed from the internet, basically because they disagree with their message... very little to no legal ground to stand on. They're just trying to use tactics like contacting the hosting ISP and talking to WIPO to reach their goals. They apparently don't even pretend to grasp the first amendment.
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Funny
Visit the Landover Baptist Church webpage for more fun, logical christian humor.
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Re:Porno spoof (LOTCR)
Here, try this.
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Do we get to vote?
I'm voting for Jar Jar Binks.
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Re:You mean there are 12 things to blame?
I'm not trolling, flaming or anything else but...
What the hell is this doing posted to /.?
This is a lame list made by idiotic fundamentalist Christians (they're called the Lion and the Lamb, for crying out loud) who want to take all the 'bad things' out of our lives, what next, post capalert's opinion on LOTR on to the story above?
There's plenty of these idiots about, please do not encourage them by giving them hits. Try Landover Baptist if you feel the need to mock them. -
Warning!!! Santa == SATAN
1. Santa is an anagram of Satan.
2. Both like to live in extremes of temperature (Santa at the North Pole, Satan in Hell's eternal fire and brimstone).
3. Both know whether you have been naughty or nice
4. If you're bad, Santa gives you a lump of coal, Satan make you sit on burning coal.
5. Satan has his horned minions and helpers, Santa has his reindeer and elves.
6. Both appear dressed in red.
7. Santa is known as Saint Nick, Satan is known as Old Nick.
8. Both exist in ancient legends from many cultures.
9. Santa is real .... so is Satan.
10. Both try to attract young children to them, Santa with presents, Satan with promises of wicked fun.
For more information, read this informative article. -
Censorship : Not just in the South. . . .What really amazes me about the anti-Potter types it the lengths they'll go to. Magic = witchcraft = Satanism to these people. Some examples:
I've seen the flick: I agree with Taco, it was pretty damned good. I've read the first three books, and and 3/4 of the way through the 4th. I see no mention of Satan or Satanism, but do see the occaisional mention of the Dark Arts, against which Defense is taught. It's a classic good-guys versus bad guys bit: these anti-Potter funadmentalist have really gone out on the edge.
Hypothesis: Harry Potter gets kids reading things other than the Bible and Christian-with-a-Capital-C approved books, the sort of thing that Landover Baptist parodies. .
.except these people aren't joking. It allows kids to free up their minds and imaginations, and has kids actually ENJOYING themselves. . . and we can't have that, can we ? Having dealt with some of these yahoos, it's amazing what they consider logical and what they consider proof. . . this is often the same gang that talks about "Evil-ution". . . .