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Water Spectacular in Episode III?
An anonymous reader writes "From StarWars.com: 'With the prequel trilogy lacking in elaborate musical numbers, Aaron McBride and the rest of the Art Department were given the task to create visuals for a new spectacular in Episode III.' Lucas didn't piss off enough people with Jar-Jar?" The link is to an image of a Mon Calamari(?) woman in some sort of performance outfit. A water spectacular ala Esther Williams, perhaps?
Somebody cue Ackbar.
It's a trap!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
and nothing says that like a musical number. Get those legs up padiwans!
-Teiresias
Further proof that George Lucas has lost his mind...actually, he can stop with the proof now, this is like the 200th thing so far...
It's like Lucas, Michael Jackson, and the guys who did the Matrix Reloaded rave got together and brainstormed. If that's even physically possible.
It's a boob!
Give a man fire, and you warm him for the night. Set a man on fire, and you warm him for the rest of his life.
That's not a moon!
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
That is the most blatant example of a prior art rip-off I have even seen...
Ronald said nothing. He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse, and rode madly off in all directions.
What kind of software is used for high budget special effects like those seen in the latest Star Wars and well every other movie? What OS, and if Linux, is Blender capable of this?
Why would a humanoid squid have breasts?
I want a new world. I think this one is broken.
The "previous image" shows a vehicle with wheels.
Lars T.
To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck
Fine. Save your money, I already know it's going to suck.
The dancing aliens fit into "Return of the Jedi" pretty well, at least in the original version (the muppet playing harmonica in the revised version was too goofy). So it could work, who knows?
Slashdot: providing anti-social weirdos a soapbox, since 1997.
. . .tits on a squid.
KFG
Why do all female aliens have boobs?
If you want to see a real musical set in the Star Wars universe, check out this disturbing fan film.
UNIX: A computer user is defined as a programmer. WINDOWS: A computer user is defined as a consumer.
Not only is this a downright stupid idea on any number of levels, the linked image looks oddly similar to the Diva Plavalaguna from The Fifth Element, except with more exposed skin.
:)
Now if they were getting Carrie Fisher to do it at age 50, or however old she is these days, that'd be sweet.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. --Winston Churchill
Forget the water spectacular. This phallic image is sure to have feminists commenting the male dominated society that the Rebels promote.
Isn't that the same type ofalien who piloted the Falcon when Solo was away? (I forget which movie now..)
I like muppets.
a gigantic phallic pole included in the dance routine... oh, I get it! Yes, more dancing!
Consciousness is a myth. Trust me.
You can briefly see the water dancing after about 1/4 of the length of the trailer, after Obi-Wan says "We are at war, Anakin".
http://www.starwars.com/
I hate to show my Star Wars geek side but...
The dancer shown is a Mon Calamari. They were very important in Return of the Jedi. The giant pod looking ships in the Rebel fleet were Mon Calamari Star Cruisers, and the attack was led by Admiral Ackbar, a Mon Calamari. You can see him in Return of the Jedi. Admiral Ackbar also made a cameo in the X-Wing game. He's the guy who orders "Launch the X-Wing fighters!" (I loved the game, what can I say).
So, Lucas isn't pulling this out of his ass. It is consistent with Episode 6. Whether or not having a Mon Calamari dance is a good idea, thats a different story.
Actually, I think that *is* Carrie Fisher at age 50. Eeesh.
fsh
Yeah, the Empire being defeated by teddy bears was pushing it. The greatest military mind the rebels have to offer being named "mr. squid" and saying "it's a trap!" pretty much ruined that crappy movie.
Of course, Jedi was a crappy movie in the sense that it was only so-so, unlike the excellent Star Wars and Empire. It wasn't a completely unwatchable pile of dreck like the last two movies have been.
If there's a god in the universe, Hitchiker will pull in more bucks than the final installment. I'm certainly not going to ever give that hack another dime of my money ever again.
What place do you have calling people 'pathetic nerds' when you're taking the time posting on slashdot?
I may be a nerd, but I take pride in it.
As Lucas has aged his sexual tastes have drifted to the rarefied realms of his wealth.
fish dont have boobs...they need their streamlined shape and all... lucas is an idiot.
Does she hand out lightsabres?
Makes thematic sense. Water represents aggression and the subconscious in the symbolic framework Lucas is constructing.
There's a nice article with more details about some of how this was done in the first film here:
http://www.brightlightsfilm.com/38/clones1.htm
Namaste
It's a sign that we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world.
...i'll sit down and be quiet now
-----
I did see the one with the Jar Jar character though (whichever episode that was.) Maybe the next episode should be directed by Rodriguez (Sin City) or Tarintino.. seems to me the Star Wars franchise needs a little spice, something to kick it up a notch! And maybe not geared so much towards children but adults, and none of this watered down R rated stuff with a pg-13 label next to it.
no capes!
George murdered my childhood with Episode I.
Then he dug up the corpse and slapped it around a bit for Episode II.
Now it looks like he's preparing to dig it up once more to further defile its memory by fucking it right in the mouth with a god damned water sequence in Episode III.
Somebody should have taken his camera away after the first Ewok adventure was shot.
I mean, anybody could have made that mistake once... But *twice*?
There is no excuse.
- Rory [Microsoft Employee] | Free dirt: neopoleon.com
NOBODY LOOK! It's a trap!
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
You're overlooking the first problem there, which is: How can a squid be humanoid and still be a squid? :)
What absolutely kills me about the Star Wars prequels is that despite all the bitching and moaning I read here about Jar-Jar, and the excessive digital effects and bad dialog and whatever, episodes one and two have still grossed over 1.5 billion. Everyone I know who actually cares enough one way or the other to bitch about the movies has seen both multiple times. I personally feel, and this may just be me, that after you've paid to see a movie for the fifth time you lose the right to complain about how bad it is. So lets just all calm down here and if you don't think you're going to like the Episode III, this may seem drastic, but do keep in mind you're free not not to watch it.
Don't mess with the bunny, outsideworld.org
it's more like my _shrimp_.
-- Would it be acceptable to just put my name on my sig?
That republic deserved to fall apart.
Star Wars might jump the sharkwomen, but I certainly wont.
Table-ized A.I.
Sure Episode 1 sucked. A lot. But Wpisode 2. C'mon, the romance scenes were pure comedic genius. I don't know how the actors could keep straight faces through them. I can remember the theater after the scene where Natalie Portman's chest was heaving up and down. One person started clapping and then the whole audience broke into applause and laughter. I can only hope that Episode 3 will have a moment like that one.
Why would a humanoid squid have breasts?
Same reason humanoid vaginas smell like fish?
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
Actually, it would be "mon calmar."
"Calamari" is Italian.
Proof yet again that Lucas is a pretentious know-nothing hack. "Mon Calamari," being a bastardization of both French and Italian isn't, even forgiving that, gramatically correct as it uses a singular possessive with a plural noun. Lucas, you ignorant slut...
...Computer special effects are not used to add detail, but to reduce price, afaik. This way, a few modelers and skinners can put together a large amount of the cast, and significantly reduce the crew. Cheap motion capture, out of work animators... you got yourself a cheap movie.
I have freaks! I did something right...
- Ken Beyer (ILM production engineering manager): "Six hundred Linux desktops will be used for Star Wars: Episode III to be released summer 2005."
Sequence supervisor Robert Weaver noticed a tremendous performance boost upgrading from RISC (Sun/SGI) workstations to Linux PCs during Star Wars, Episode II:
AMD64 used for Episode III
Alias/wave Maya used for Episode II, Lord of the Rings, and Spiderman
Xp64 used on episode III. Don't know how much though.
Episode 1 hardware and software. Yes,Pixar's Renderman and Alias|Wavefront`s Maya . SGI computers.
The linux cluster used at Industrial light and magic.
I don't understand.. why is this wrong/upsetting? It's an interesting idea to see the "Galaxies Opera". If anything, it broadens a view of Lucas' vision of this galaxy. I wouldn't trade the Mos Eisley cantina scene for 10 minutes of space action...
..and it's his movie. See it, lile it, or don't. But pissing and ranting about how he destroyed his own legacy is just ridiculous.
Something smells fishy!
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
Actually you can say both calamar and calmar for squid in French, except for the giant squid which is only called calmar géant.
Linky
I just finished Labrinth of Evil... that is very much a character in the new movie, though its Commander Cody...
My squid,
Whom I did,
Not so groovy
Is your bad movie.
Sticky-floored prison,
My bile's risen.
Life's two hours less
In this cinematic mess.
Swim off the set
If the director will let.
Come to Sloppy
Stay not sick --
Ban your ache,
For my sake!
Buttered bread
While in bed
Makes a mess,
So unless
You would choose
That bad news,
I suggest
That you'd best
Soon arise,
So your eyes
Will not glaze.
Douglas prays
Health be near,
My sweet dear.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
Damn enter key... let's try that again.
My squid,
Whom I did,
Not so groovy
Is your bad movie.
Sticky-floored prison,
My bile's risen.
Life's two hours less
In this cinematic mess.
Swim off the set
If the director will let.
Come to Sloppy
And you'll be happy.
A new role, you'd
Play in the nude,
Though budget's not high
You'll moan and sigh.
Your DVD will be
Released to all the
Perverts who enjoy
Tentacle porn toys.
Be remembered as a squid
In porn for a few quid.
That Innsmouth look
Is a good niche for a spook.
It will be so much better
Than Lucas' memory-shredder.
You'll be glad you did,
My squid.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
...Water sports?
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
And not just humanoids! Uh..I mean...
If your woman smells like fish, then I am truly sorry for you. :)
Stuck down a hole! In the middle of the night! With an owl!
I wonder if she goes good with rigatoni and a spicy jalapeno marinara!
Setting his threshold to 5, Sparky eliminated most of the trolls on /.
I was hoping that this movie wouldn't blow as much as the first two... And now I find out how wrong I may be.
Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me this is a joke.
... and then they built the supercollider.
nice ... um ... nice ... um ... nice day isn't it. (Eww)
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - BF
No, he said "craptacular."
... and then they built the supercollider.
If that was ment to be plural, wouldn't it be "Peni"?
Life is not for the lazy.
"Calamar" is the Spanish word for squid, so it seems a mixture of both French and Spanish. Has Lucas been at the Pyrenees recently?
well, lucas is a hack, but he can call his own creations whatever he wants.
it's not like some guys in space far far away would have heard anything about earthly languages anyways..
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
If not, then just go for deep fried.
of sith goodness. including sith stuff..
including general ?devious?- who wields (I SHIT YOU NOT) 4 lightsabers! and looks like a battle droid...
there is a water vehicle in there with treads wrapped around the body
some kinda beach lander... but I didn't see any vehichles that seem deigned for underwater scenes....
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
Regardless of the original DNA, as in this case "calamari," the females of the species always seem to develop perfectly round and full breasts and asses... Seems to be a universal truism, :-)
Adding breasts to *anything* makes things more interesting. How come I can't buy a boob mouse with the squishy parts as left/right, up/down navigation and the nipple as a click button? That would be a great complement to my joystick.
Here ya go.
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Why would she have wide hips if she lays eggs?
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
If any Slashdot thread is an appropriate one to link to that picture of the woman with the squid in her hoo-hah, THIS one is it.
Too bad I forgot the URL.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Because Lucas knows that having boobs of all kinds in this movie is the only way he will get people to watch it.
--Nuintari
slashdot : where an opinion can be wrong.
That's my wife you insensitive clod!
Slashdot has really gone downhill when Admiral Ackbar in a swimsuit makes the front page before this does... Bring on the grits!
Bah, it can't be worse than the Inquisition Nuns in Mel Brook's History of the world, part I...
Because Graphic Artists, like Slashdotters spend lots of time on their own in darkened rooms playing with their computers.
Just remember, the guy who drew this may not have seen a real woman for a significant length of time and may only remember a faint smell of fish.
Hmmmmmm..... Deep fried and look like Squirrel.
[. . . ]egg-laying organisms don't nerse their young!
What about our good friend the duck-billed platypus? Eggs and milk, baby.
Whenever one generalizes about possible life forms based on knowledge of other life forms, one is bound to overlook counterexamples. Evolution and biodiversity are funny that way. Just look at the platypus!
To get back on topic, I'm definitely hot for squid with boobs.
blog
Cocktail, Marinara, or Garlic sauce?
"I resemble that statement."
blog
Distracts my consentration.
Now you're going...
Search on this along with "David Brin", author of the Uplift novels. He had an interesting take on Star Trek vs Star Wars, with his preference of the former based on the fact that it uses real people, and those people becoming their best. In Star Wars, matters are decided by "demigods" like Luke, Anakin, etc with supernormal powers, and whatever mere humans do or try to become just doesn't matter.
Of course William Shatner put it all right, back on SNL. "It was just a TV show!"
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
If I recall correctly, George Lucas let his son come up with the character name, which might explain part of it. And frankly, given Star Wars' roots in classic sci-fi serials, the name does sort of it.
With landing gear extended.... for her pleasure.
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
Lucas told SWG that Mon Cal females didn't have breasts (not being mamals afterall). There was an on going fight about if they should or shouldn't on the SWG boards, wouldn't want to be there now.
- AMW
Star Wars needed some song and dance numbers for the all-important desi demographic...
With one name... Lucas has upset the French, Italians, grammer nazis, and possibly even a few fans. Brilliant.
"Oy! Get out of my dreams and into my claws already!"
...but, you cannot say "mon calamar[i|s]" or "mon calmars." On the artwork, it was "Mon Calamari," which any way you slice it is patently wrong.
Didnt that fail MISERABLY once? The name "Waterworld" comes to mind. Ha ha ha
The only PT Boat Journal on the web: http://www.PT171.org
Ok, obviously not. But even though all his public statements make it seem like Lucas really takes Star Wars seriously, I wonder if really he's laughing his @$$ off as he purposely makes fans get crazy upset. It's just the sort of emotional manipulation Andy Kaufman thought was hilarious. It's not like Lucas has to worry about commercial success. People are going to see this movie no matter how awful it is, and even if it's a total flop Lucas is, shall we say, "independently wealthy". Anyone else get the feeling he's just having a good time screwing with people?
I know.
Obviously, the root of the word is shared, because they're in the same language family. The fsck up is that it is categorically wrong in ANY romance language to use a singular possessive with a plural noun or vice versa. For anyone with a first-year highschool knowledge of any of the languages in question, this is not a "grammar nazi" issue, it's an error so obvious that it boggles the mind how it made it to production artwork.
French:
MON calmar
MES calmars
Italian:
I MIEI calamari
IL MIO calamaro
Spanish:
MI calamar
MIS calamares
How do you know those are breasts? They could contain ink for a hasty get-away. They could be bouyancy controlling air sacks. Just really conveniently placed air sacks.
People should not fear what they do not understand; people should fear because they do not understand.
Faux News
Skywalker Ranch, California
The Star Wars fan community was stunned today by George Lucas' admission that the prequel trilogy is, in fact, an elaborate troll.
"It was a good troll, and I managed to keep it going a lot longer than I thought," said Lucas. "Between Jar-Jar and Jake Lloyd, no-one at LucasFilm thought I could pull it off at all. They thought it was too obvious." Lucas, however, had confidence. "I knew I could do anything I wanted so long as I threw enough lightsaber fights and space battles in there, he explained. "Rick Berman actually bet me that the theaters would be a ghost town when Episode II came out," Lucas continued. "I'm proud to say I won that bet, even after making the love scenes with Hayden and Natalie as awkward and interminable as possible. I was hoping to keep the gag going until after Revenge of the Sith premiered," he added, "but with the ending leaked on all the fan sites, that's just not possible."
The leaked video, which has appeared on several websites, depicts the character Jar-Jar Binks bent over in an obscene posture, accompanied by text reading "YHBT. YHL. HAND. |uc4s > j00." It is believed to be an homage to the infamous web site goatse.cx, which is frequently used by trolls to shock unsuspecting viewers. The text is shorthand for "You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day. Lucas is greater than you," a common ending to a sucessful troll. There is also a rumored ballet number featuring the Star Wars kid.
Fan reaction to the news has been mixed. "I knew it," said Arthur Dent of London, England. "Ever since all those bloody ewoks in Return of the Jedi, I knew something wasn't quite right." Other fans are still clinging to denial: from his place in line at the Senator Theater, Scott Kennedy, 31, was quoted as saying "No! That's not true! That's impossible!" The announcement has also forced fans of other science fiction franchises to view their favorite shows with a more skeptical eye. "I'm wondering what [Rick] Berman's up to," said fan 3.14159265 of 9. "There's rumors that the next movie is called Star Trek: Wesley Crusher's Day Off."
And does Lucas have any last words for his fans?
"pWn3d."
Faux News: we make it up, you fall for it.
Now write it a hundred times on the wall... or I cut your balls off.
Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
Can anybody tell me why the **** a fish woman has BREASTS? OK the hyperspace stuff, the droids, the lightsabers are tolerable to the logical mind. But THIS?
And I thought the Startrek sequels were bad...
I believe I'll go dip my eyeballs in bleach now.
Assume I was drunk when I posted this.
Amusing how an aquatically evolved organism has roughly the same appendages and organs as humans do - two legs with toes, two arms with fingers, and breasts??? And having your dress straps run through your gill slits must sure be uncomfortable...
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams
However, has it ever been stated that Calamari are not mammals ?
Whoever told you that is a total liar. Like other mammals Calamari can either have breasts or be totally flat.
Facts:
(1) Calamari are mammals
(2) Calamari nurse their young ALL the time
(3) The purposes of Calamari are to flip out and warn "It's a trap!"
Tweet, tweet.
Actaully this should have made the front page! http://www.starwars.com/episode-iii/bts/artofrev/2 004/11/artofrev20041122.html
All the people who are questioning why an amphibian has hooters are missing the point. If she was flat chested, she might look like a skinny guy. Here she is, swimming through the water, showing a lot of leg and a pert butt, and just when the viewer's little George starts perking up, there's that icky thought, "Oh my Midiclorians, what if 'she' is a skinny guy fish-thing?".
This way, any viewer who responds to the more subtle feminine cues can check for bumpies and be assured he is wholesomely turned on by an obviously female overgrown mutant carp, and isn't some kind of prevert that would dig male horribly deformed giant walking catfish.
Who is John Cabal?
...put a sack on her head and you have a winner!
There: Something at a specific location.
Their: Owned by someone.
Please make sure your english compiles.
however, you'll probably find the odd clever comment on life (the problem being its clever, and a lot of the dorks will miss it)
Comming later this year!
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
As Lucas has aged his sexual tastes have drifted
Am I the only one who now imagines him talking in Troy Mclure's voice?
It's possible that this movie maybe even worse than the last two. I am not sure if I would be sad watching Lucas self-destruct on screen or if I would get a kick out of it.
May the Force be with you!
"It was a simple art decision made over and over in all fantasy across all genres."
Indeed, that decision is pretty ubiquitous, but Lucas has been more than willing to go in different directions with character designs in the past. Especially considering the amount of CG he's been using in the prequels, he didn't have to do it this way.
Then again, this isn't something I'm getting bent out of shape over. The specific decision for the inclusion of breasts on this background character doesn't really bother me. The overall design of the character might, but it is so far down the list of gripes I have about the prequels as to be insignificant.
This is my sig. It's prescription, I swear. I need it for reading things... on the other side of things
...can you get fanboys up in arms over a piece of PREPRODUCTION ART that was released OVER SIX MONTHS AGO. By the Fucking gods!! I can only imagine what the complaints would sound like back in 1980 when the first conceptual drawings of Yoda were released. Seriously, quit your bitching already.
Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
My good sir, this might be the funniest thing I ever read on /. well done.
More machine now, than man? Twisted and evil?
Or
More a machine than a human? Idiot-savantesque with a Pinocchio complex?
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
Cape or not, this is one alien I wouldn't mind having a costume malfunction.
Okay, WTF does an amphibian have lumps that look a lot like mammalian breasts? Someone ought to pound some biology into Lucas' orifices.
Is this a sigs-optional kind of place? 'Cause I am totally down with that if you know what I mean.
It's surely got to be better than that crappy dance number Lucas cooked up for the special edition of ROTJ.