Slashdot Mirror
Tornado in a Can
geyser writes "What stuff matters more than a device that can tear things apart? Frank Polifka has a patent on his Windhexe device that creates a tornado force wind. Besides pulverizing concrete, it can pulverize small objects including jelly fish, and chicken feet without destroying the organic compounds. The chickens don't like it. Is this really a prototype Quake weapon? I could only find newspaper articles about the device. Has anyone seen it in action and can you give us a first hand report?"
dont they have those at like barnes & noble tho?
Hopefully it won't tear into my first post.
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" Whether there are vast riches to be made from pulverizing chicken poop or poultry parts into powder remains to be seen. The trick will be whether the machine can transform the various substances into products worth more than the processing costs."
Sounds like he's trying to kick up a real shitstorm.
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IDE hard drive!
(No, seriously. The warranties are for, like, 2 years now. They slowly spin themselves apart until the data is nonsense.)
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
I'm sure this is cool, but that doesn't exactly fill my heart with fear.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Seen it in action?
HAHAHA, the damn thing takes care of human feet just as well as chickens. And I thought it was just s snake-in-a-can joke. Damn toys
"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." - Emily Dickinson
Finally! Something we can use to fight off Casanova Frankenstein and Captain Amazing! Was it designed by Dr. Heller?
"Mod, mod, mod...and another troll bites the dust."
With great tornado in a can comes great responsibility.
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
It's almost party time!!!
Seriously. If we can make a version of this that can be carried efficiently by infantry and deployed in a typical battlefield as easily as a shoulder mount rocket launcher, we have a real-life BFG9000. The only difference is _how_ it works, not how much damage it does.
Even if we can't, we still have a weapon that probably could do almost as much damage as a nuclear bomb, but without the radiation. Crumbling concrete.... jeez.
It's for Apparatus and method for circular vortex air flow material grinding.
P TO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=/netahtml/PTO/search-bool.h tml&r=1&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=PG01&s1=Polifka&OS=Poli fka&RS=Polifka
It's dated March 7, 2002 and the applicant is listed as Polifka, Francis D..
You can read it at http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
Sounds like a good way to reduce land fill space. Just pulverize everything to the molecular level shake and let settle.
"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." - Emily Dickinson
somehow found their way to local trailer parks, resulting in total devastation when they were mistaken for cans of beer.
Just what I need to get my little nephews for christmas... forget the plastic helicopter.. or maybe they can fly it thru their own tornado...
Now that will ROCK!!!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
...that Taz of Looney Toones fame is gonna have some competition?
"This food is problematic."
Thank you, I'll be here all week!
To test their theory, the Vortex folks have thrown in rocks, diapers, tomatoes, sweet potato rejects from the farm down the road, 400 pounds of Oreo cookies, frozen pizza dough, even a dead bird.
:(
Damn...what a waste of Oreo's
"Some fight for law. Some fight for justice. What will you fight for? One day, you will see."
From the article:
:)
"...poultry byproducts that could be sold as a flavoring or nutritious additive to pet foods or fertilizers.."
I can see the use of adding nutritious additives for my pet...but why would I want to add flavor to my fertilizer?
... at least that's what it sounds like.
New Heinz Beans! It's thunder in a can!
...oOOo..'(_)'..oOOo...
So when a grain buyer came to Polifka and asked him to design a portable machine to mill grain, Polifka started tinkering around in his workshop on the farm. He has a high school diploma and a certificate from diesel engine school, but he's been dreaming up machines for most of his life. Over the years, he's invented everything from an industrial-strength mulcher to a vehicle to carry implements around the farm.
Even so, it took him 15 years to make a tornado in a can that he was satisfied with. And though physicists and engineers are at a loss as to how exactly it works, he's happy to explain how he made it.
It sounds like this guy is about as far removed from shedules and deadlines as anyone I have ever seen....
If you're looking here for something insightful or thought provoking, you're probably looking in the wrong place.
walk into a tornado?
So this guy blends hundreds of beached jelly fish, leftover chicken parts, eggshells, and other things into a liquid, using a wind machine.
Aren't you glad you're not his downwind neighbor?
This again proves that it's not a degree or an education, but thinking outside the box that will move technology forward.
Fantasy remains a human right; we make in our measure and in our derivative mode... -- JRR Tolkien
That old dude stole my patent and changed it to Tornado in a Can from Tornado Under a Bedsheet!
I want a blamethrower.
can you give us a first hand report?
Yeah, It really stings.
Oh boy. I'm in for it now. The girlfriend wasn't kidding about openin' that "can of whoop-ass" on me!
You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. The impossible just takes a little longer.
"The single most important quality of the tornado in a can is whatever goes into it comes out with its nutritional value," he said. "You can get four times the price of nonedible waste."--
Garbage in, garbage out right? They're not doing anything chemically, just bustin' stuff into smaller pieces of stuff- and I can't imaging there being incredible nutritional value in any of the crap they wanna throw in there.
I understand their point about extracting "collagen-rich protien" but I wonder how many applications there are for a system like this, where there isn't a more efficient method. Any thoughts?
Engineers shut it down and quickly huddle, mulling over a complex mathematical solution they think might help them fix the noise.
But Polifka, a stocky man with a snow-white beard and twinkling eyes, just opens the machine, grabs a broom handle and pokes at a flap of metal inside the cone. The adjustment made, he shuts the machine and starts it again. The noise is gone.
He sounds like Santaclause... and a magician.
"Each year, the U.S. poultry industry generates about 4 million tons of blood, feathers, heads, feet and entrails, including some 300,000 tons on the Delmarva Peninsula."
I thought they had this problem licked with the advent of the chicken McNugget."Running that material through a drier and then through Polifka's machine could produce a powder form of those poultry byproducts that could be sold as a flavoring"
Geek #1:"Mmmmm,these Gorditas are wonderful!!"Geek #2:"Yeah, but they could use a little more chicken back if you ask me."
Inventor: "As you can see, it sucks and it cuts!"
Wayne: "Well, it definitely does suck"
Wait 'til the military gets this one.
This space for rent.
Now, the people they interview for the news after tornados can say:
"Yup, it sounded like a huge chicken poop pulverizer was comin' through the livin' room!"
Tornado in a can?
It looks to me like a tornado in a room. Judging by that picture, this will work great as a prototype Quake weapon. You just have to tell your enemy "OK, now sit right here under this blue cone looking thing, while I pulverize you".
Not exactly portable is it?
"A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
I think I'll pass on the company pizza party.
a can of WHOOP-ASS.
unless that name is trademarked.
At first, I thought this thing was a glorified centrifuge. But it sounds like this thing actually pulverizes anything you put into it. It takes any object and breaks it down into its base ingredients. I wonder what David Letterman can do with it?
Sex - Find It
Can't wait to use this on my friends.
This space for rent.
It sounds a bit like James Dyson's vacuum cleaner.
;o)
http://www.dyson.co.uk/.
One shudders to think what teenage boys might get up to with it
Tornado-In-A-Can
Desc: An innocent-looking green can with a pop-top type lid. Printed in white on the label is the title TORNADO IN A CAN.
Instr: This miniature twister has been specially compressed for your enjoyment. Just pop the top and toss (quickly). Not necessarily for entertainment purposes only. All rights reserved, Dr. Arthur Heller, Pat. Pend.
The BOfH seats at his desk... Calmly plays another party of Quake... Someone rings the door bell.
Who's there? - says the BOfH with some irritation that someone messed with his chance to break his 1374th frag record.
Oh, this is department XXX. You have a problem, the network doesn't work.
Couldn't you say that by the phone?..
Oh, well. We could but it was busy and we thought it was a lot easier to talk to you directly...
Well, come in... - The BOfH presses the button and the door opens...
Ooops sorry what is this funny small dark room here?
Oh, well. That's a small hall to avoid noises and dust coming up here. We have some sensitive equipement here... Just close the outdoor so I can open the inner door...
Oh, cool. Yeah, you amy be right, you have quite a dusty corridor just outside, you kn.. BAHM! FRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
A bunch of dust flows over the corridor, the BOfH calmly concludes: "No person, no problem... back to the game..."
Inventors: Polifka, Francis D.; (Hays, KS)
:P
Notice that Francis is from Kansas.
What's this Submit thingy do?
shit hits the fan.. big time.
before I see this for sale on Thinkgeek?
Anyone else see this as Windh.exe?
Some nasty trojan that's a tornado for your HD?
__ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
Janitor in a Drum?
(sorry, couldn't resist)
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
I just created a 80 megawatt trailer park, so this thing's screwed.
The only acceptable defense of scientific results is to say that they were the product of the Scientific Method.
pulverizing trash, grinding concrete into a powder that can be reconstituted with water.
So.. it's like in that batman movie.
Which brings us to the question: what is the Office of Homeland Security doing to prepare for the possibility of a super-genius villan stealing this technology, converting it to a portable form, and using it in the U.N. building to reduce the U.N. security council to a fine, dehydrated, multicolored dust?
Moreover, if they did do this, since the organic molecules are preserved, would a careful restoration of the liquid allow us to reconstitute the security council, as with the concrete mentioned above? What if the dust from the different members has become mixed?
Perhaps the most important of all: what if the super-genius villan in question has a submarine, and steals the dust of the pulverized security council members? I propose the creation of a powerful Ashcroft-boat with Ashcroft-missles, so that John Ashcroft, his trusty Homeland Security Utility Belt, and Bush-boy may take chase, and bring these criminals to justice; but is this really the right answer, or should we search for a solution which reaches the same level of effectivement with less encroachment on our civil liberties? Surely, this tornado-pulverization device is a technology which brings up many questions, grave questions which hopefully humanity can find an answer to in time.
This will cut down The Wizard of Oz into a 30 second movie. Dorothy and Toto get sucked in, and their pulverized powder filters out the bottom.
Auntie Emm be damned.
riding round the world on an old motorcycle
Running that material through a drier and then through Polifka's machine could produce a powder form of those poultry byproducts that could be sold as a flavoring or nutritious additive to pet foods or fertilizers, Winsness thought.
"The single most important quality of the tornado in a can is whatever goes into it comes out with its nutritional value," he said. "You can get four times the price of nonedible waste."
With the population growth being what it is and the cost of burial plots skyrocketing, how long before Soylent Green is a reality???
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I think this was the Brains finest invention. Narf
the real evil is not what people think - its how people think
From the patent:
;)
(b) a lower enclosure disposed below and in a tandem arrangement with said upper enclosure, said lower enclosure including a lower annular sidewall having a substantially inverted conical configuration and open upper and lower ends and defining a lower interior chamber, said lower annular sidewall of said lower enclosure being mounted at said open upper end thereof to said upper annular sidewall at said open lower end of said upper enclosure such that said lower annular sidewall and lower interior chamber of said lower enclosure are substantially continuous and in flow communication with said upper annular sidewall and upper interior chamber of said upper enclosure...
Ok, one, that's one sentence, and two, the word "said" appears there 11 times. I felt like I was listening to "Einstein on the beach" again.
But apart from that, it (and the rest of the patents) describes the thing, and it's not a tornado gun like most of y'all are hypothesizing. It's...well, it's basically a wind-powered coffee grinder - no blades, just wind. So you can forget about pointing it at someone and watching their molecules randomly rearrange themselves, k?
Triv
To get all over every side.
Thank you, I'll be here all week.
before reading the story, I was picturing chickens running away as their feet were pulverized by sadistic farmers with tornado guns. Glad to hear that's not the case!
Oh the power of google and the wayback machine combined!
Polifka's webpage for the Windhexe
But I think Slashdot could become a major supplier of hot air for these guys.
?-|||-----x<*))))><
shit hits the fan.
Business Idea for the Tornado-in-a-can guy:
Does the thought of being burned like yesteryear's garbage after you die curl your toes?
With the new Tornadoom swirly treatment you can be pulverized into ashes without the messy, smoking, hellish addition of flame.
Remember the first time a bully flushed your head in the mens room in Jr. High? Well now you can go out in full geek colors. The Tornadoom is like a permanent swirly that lasts forever. Make your shame of the past an eternal badge of honor.
Reduce the cost of burial to your family. For only $12/hr in electrical costs, you can be ground into dry powder. You can then be used to fertalize the garden, be a pet-food additive, or achieve any one of several higher self-fulfilling goals.
When you go to your funeral director to plan for that ever-coming day of doom, ask for Tornadoom!
Judge: Mr. Irvine, You are hereby sentenced to death for the brutal killing of Mike Wendland. Your dispicable attempt at an insanity plea on the grounds of hidden people on the internet telling you to do it makes me sick. You are allowed to choose the method with which you are executed. Which method do you choose?
Me: I choose windhexe-cution.
/* oops I accidentally made a comment, sorry */
This is the product name I propose. And on the "discovery from elementary school" department, the article offers some hints:
"...a University of Maryland agricultural scientist who oversaw tests of an earlier prototype at the Salisbury campus..."I always wondered what "salisbury steak" was when I would get a plate full of the stuff in elementary school.
Things such as this are what the patent system was designed for. This is a legitimate 'new' device that performs a 'new' function that was previously unavailable - and it deserves a patent.
Of course, someone will hook it up to a computer and obtain a new patent for 'Method of using a tornado in a can with a computer'
Oh well, something may never change.
It does not matter what you do, it's wrong.
That's nothing. You should see my dad after a a coupla burritos. Talk about unholy destructive power...
"In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user. You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total.loser." -Weird Al
Instead of dumping raw sewage into the oceans, it can be powderized and dumped into fields where it can actually act as fertilizer, or be used in other industrial applications.
I mean, c'mon, if this can handle chicken blood and guts, sewage is a natural. This would be fantastic for the environment.
But I don't want to be a pulverized pie!
Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
300 million tons of eggshells per year? Let's be REAL generous and say an eggshell weighs one ounce. Extrapolate that into grown chickens and you come up with 9.6 trillion! Yet we only have 4 million tons of blood, feathers, heads, feet and entrails per year? Hey, what's REALLY in those nuggets?
GIGOwiz
I know I'm demonstrating my noobness here, but WTF is a beowulf cluster? Any links?
First of all, vortex technology is quite respectable nowadays. As well as the Dyson cleaner, which gets more effective with each generation, there is the work on vortex particulate removers for Diesel engines and powder paint shops. The basic principle seems to be that the air is made to spiral down the vortex chamber in ever narrowing circles. As it does so, its angular velocity increases so that particulates experience an increasing force which carries them to the vortex walls.
Now, in a conventional vortex cleaner, you want non-turbulent flow to keep those particles going in the right direction. But what if the flow becomes turbulent? As it breaks up you would have small localised regions of extremely high turbulence in an environment of increasing angular momentum - so that instead of having a turbulent flow of air scrubbing a single surface, you could have lots of small turbulent flows in three dimensions. That sounds like a pretty effective way of abrading things with a soft medium that would do what is claimed.
So why does the Post talk about scientists being baffled? Well, as a 2c worth, perhaps it's because they have to talk up the story and perhaps it's because the journo didn't know the difference between a vortex chamber and a plate of gefulte fish and wanted to report that everybody else stood around looking stupid too. (In view of the Dow Jones case decision in Australia perhaps I should add this is just my personal opinion, wild speculations, journalists are all genius saviours of mankind etc.)
Perhaps the next Dyson cleaner will not just pick up the dust but act as a dry waste disposal unit as well. Or perhaps not.
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
"A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
GeneralEmergency
and a beowulf cluster of all of the above.
I wonder if David Letterman will be purchasing one of these. This would be way cooler than the surgical gloves filled with butterscotch pudding that he dropped from a 6-foot tower when I was a kid.
Maybe an even better question - can it separate the gold, arsenic and silicon from computer chips?
"The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away" -- "Step Right Up", Tom Waits
do people still make jokes about Soviet Russia.
Such is the infinite Grace of Popeye.
this seems like a good way to have one's water returned to the tribe, and one's non-water turned into corpse powder with which to harm one's enemies.
timothy
jrnl: http://tinyurl.com/c2l8yr / foes: http://tinyurl.com/ckjno5
A great way for the Children of the Corn to dispose of the bodies!
blog |
And much of the 300 million tons of shells produced by laying hens each year is worked into the soil.
They could have left out the details...
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. --E. W. Dijkstra
A certain group of superfriends, no wait, superdudes, no wait, Mystery Men, have already used it against Cassanova Frankenstein. It seemed to work pretty damn well against him. Completely non-lethal. It was actually invented by Dr. Heller. I wonder if Dr. Heller has a patent on it, or if he's been too busy with "the ladies"...?
Gimme a vindaloo curry and 2 hours and I'll show you tornado force wind.
what exactly is a cone-shaped cylinder? is it related to the pyramid-shaped cube?
you probably shouldn't have read this.
...it will be before one of these shows up in a Bond movie so that a baddie can be pitched into it? ...for that matter, how long before it appears in _any_ movie?
My guess is 3 years.
I saw it firsthand: your mom was a tornado in bed last night.
-- I was raised on the command line, bitch
Mr. Furious, your puny weapons cannot defeat Casanova Frankenstein !
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Not effective on road-runners.
-- This void intentionally left null.
they'll be able to test it in Baghdad, in about 4 weeks
I want pictures! When do we get pictures?
FoundNews.com - get paid to blog.,
Can I get a tsumi in a can?
Nero-burning ROM for Linux!
Forget those stupid Wizard of Oz cookie jars. Buy yourself a real tornado! Just click your heels three times and say "There's no place like home".
Sorry, blatantly stolen from Charleton Heston......
\/\/oobie
Q: See here 007, whenever you find youself in
a sticky wicket just open this can, click your heels 3 times, and say, 'There's
no plce like home.'
Bond: w00t!
But the keenest interest so far is from poultry people who are watching closely to see whether it can revolutionize the way billions of pounds of chicken byproducts -- the feet, feathers, heads and entrails that don't end up in the supermarket -- are processed
I bet they are keen. Keen to put those bits that don't make it to the supermarket, into the supermarket.
Sorry about that, here's a direct link to the site.
Big deal, you ain't seen destruction until you've seen one of our shop's daily tempests in a teapot.
Besides pulverizing concrete, it can pulverize small objects including jelly fish, and chicken feet without destroying the organic compounds. The chickens don't like it.
What, the jellyfish do??
I make these: http://beatseqr.com
Here's a link.
how bout a beowulf cluster of these canned tornados? Some serious wind baby!.
And you wonder what they put in your food.. Oh boy! a powdered chicken head and feet milkshake! And it's nutritious too!
You know some guy down at the sewer treatment plant is saying "hey Larry.. I'll bet I could convince someone that its food.."
I think it's about time I start shopping at the farmer's market...
Please go back to the hellhole this spwaned from. The morons there actully find that funny, along with making fun of mentaly disable people, cats, shit, and other things that you must be really stoned or a low IQ to find even remotly funny.
Isn't feeding ground up cow parts back to cows one of the suspected causes of Mad Cow Disease? And now we can feed ground up chicken parts back to chickens and presumably humans. Great.
Ya know, a friend of mine died of Jakob-Kreutzfeld disease not too long ago.
It's supposed that he got it from eating beef contaminated by BSE, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, which is a prion disease spread through the industry practice of feeding butcher's waste to cattle.
Cannibalism is bad, people. Ref. Oliver Sach's description of diseases among the descendants of cannibals. It's an unhealthy feedback loop, that optimizes disease organisms.
So, the poultry farmers have already spread salmonella through the entire US chicken industry with their unsound practices, now they want to do it better, cheaper, faster.
So much for chicken soup as health food.
Posters Troll You!
Want a ride in my uhm... Rocket Ship??!??!!! Only $12/hour!
Don't anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it.
What a great way to get rid of dead bodies!
The most important thing any republican needs to know.
Chickenshit pulvurize You!
Hubby: Honey, will you pass the chicken feet flavored, pulverized jellyfish powder?
Wife: With or without egg membranes?
Namaste
I just hope the dried meal they make from chicken parts isn't fed to other chickens (and hopefully they aren't doing the same with cows on the beef meal made - surely we learned that lesson - then again, look at everything else)...
Reason is the Path to God - Anon
Tornado let YOU out of can.
This would be pretty scary if it could separate uranium isotopes.
Going from a ton of yellocake to a few grams of u235 is an EXPENSIVE, slow process.
Now if you could do it for 12$/hr, and without using all the export controlled machinery
All I will say is that this is a perfect example of why the patent process was created and still exists. This is so ingenious. I would love to see the machine in action.
a Beowulf cluster of them might be able to destroy a WHOLE CHICKEN? Awesome.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
1 reply beneath your current threshold.
Though not quite as brute-force as this chicken grinder, a German recycling conglomerat had a Tornado-in-a-House (22 meters high) at the EXPO 2000 in Hannover. Pictures are here or here.
after hatching, chickens are separated in male and female groups. The males are grind to a 'soup' that is fed to the females. The females are either used as 'egg-machines' or as food for humans.
Nothing goes to waste.
I think this could be an extremely important invention. This might be a GREAT way to process recyclable materials, as well as other garbage. Imagine the day when the junk we've previously thrown into landfills is instead tossed into a giant version of these things, broken down into potentially reusable materials. Might be a better solution than just digging holes and burying the crap.
"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
-Hoban Washburn
Tomado in a can?
I mean whats the big deal they sell tomados in a can at the grocery store!
hey, can I help it if I was raised in Oklahoma?
Thanks to file sharing, I purchase more CDs
Thanks to the RIAA, I buy them used...
here
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
... a Beowulf cluster of those. :) Just hadda do it.
Obligatory Simpsons quote: "Mmmmmm... Pulverised chicken heads"
Reality is defined by the maddest person in the room
Good luck to this guy with defending his patent. A cursory search found prior art here.
beowu..... ahh nevermind.
assembly that drops the unfortunate victim into the machine. Of course, that still raises the problem of what to do with all the liquid that would be produced (gross, I know), but you could hook up the device to a sewer line for that purpose. In light of the fact that there are much easier ways to rub someone out (pun intended), somehow I doubt this would be used except in industrial applications. Hey, it would work great in recycling metals, plastics, glass, and other expensive-to-reduce compounds. It might work great for sewage treatment too.
I'm thinking this thing would be a great replacement for the woodchipper..
It is quite simple
Haiku should not be funny
Try a Senryu
Take the pulverized and dehydrated Oreo's and form them into capsules.
:-D
Pop one of those in your mouth and a shot of milk. You can get through snack time in 5 seconds.
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
Put your old printed circuit boards in here and pulverize away! You could reclaim copper and gold EASILY from this contraption, and reduce the remainder to a fine powder. You could probably refine even that at a later point.
Think of it! Go down to the corner Tornado-in-a-can and feed it your old motherboard, monitor, TV, anything! Its a geek dream: pulverize something to tiny bits, recycle useable hardware, get some money back at the same time!
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.
Things such as this are what the patent system was designed for. This is a legitimate 'new' device that performs a 'new' function that was previously unavailable - and it deserves a patent.
Yes, things like this (and the airplane, and numerous other inventsions) are exactly what the patent system was designed for, and by the rules set down the patent is completely legitimate.
Unfortunately, this technology will only be developed and improved by a small subset of those who could have improved and exploited it: namely the inventor(s) himself and those who chooses to license his patent to. A great deal of good science and engineering will be delayed by at least 20 years because of this patent, perhaps longer if patents on applications of the technology are granted (which often happens, and is how pharmaceutical companies often delay the release of generic drugs for even longer than the duration of their patents).
Even in the best case scenerio, where the patent system works exactly as designed, this new technology will be developed at a snail's pace until such a time as the patent expires and competing, unfettered interests can improve upon it. Of course, then that progress in turn will be brought back to a crawl once again, as patents on the improvements are granted, and so on, ad nauseum.
Unless of course we need the technology in a war, then the US Govt., desperate for improvements which can only be achieved through competition and free markets, will seize the patent and open it up to competing interests, just like they did Orval and Wilber Wright's patent on the airplane in World War I, and numerous other technologies since (eventually writing into law a nice loophole that excludes the government from adhering to patents altogether).
So yes, this inventor clearly deserves the patent and yes, the patent clearly stifles any further developments along that particular line of inquiry.
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
Disposing of dead animals. Whole dead animals. Like your pet hamster or your mother-in-law. Hell, maybe not even dead ... maybe alive, screaming and kicking ... muhahahah!
How would that work? Of course, you'd have to have a big enough chamber, but that could be dealt with. And getting rid of the evidence wouldn't be too dificult either - just move it down to the river and dump the solids in there. Whoosh - perfect crime!
Right?
We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
Until some guy sticks his schlong in this thing trying to get off..
>...rocks, diapers, tomatoes, sweet potato rejects >from the farm down the road, 400 pounds of Oreo >cookies, frozen pizza dough, even a dead bird
This is has Joe Rogan and Fear Factor written *all* over it.
...recycle useable hardware,...
I fail to see where *useable* hardware comes out of this....
...
"If all goes well, Polifka may someday end up rich, his name forever associated with an invention that puts a more pleasing face on some of the more unseemly byproducts of modern society."
Polifkalizer
Polifkalator
Polifkanado
I dunno, Zamboni seems to fit - this guy is gonna have trouble.
You know you're a geek if you've ever replied to a tagline.
They want to know whether it really offers a new technology for mining precious metals, pulverizing trash, grinding concrete into a powder that can be reconstituted with water.
nope... if that claim is indicative of the rest of the story, then I'm pressing the "bullshit button" on this one... concrete hardening with water depends on some chemical reaction, and CANNOT be "reconstituted" again if pulverized...
I'm sure Tony Soprano could find a good use for this against Tony Two-Toes.
Gives new meaning the saying "Open a can 'o whoop ass!" :-)
The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you. - Tom Bradley
I have a feeling this device just might be louder than a 10,000rpm disk drive ...
"Flame away, I wear asbestos underwear"
in Mystery Men.
It's the ultimate in non-lethal weaponry.
Oops, an ill choice of words. What I meant by that is that you could make new hardware from the reclaimed materiel. Use the copper and such in new manufacturing process. Kinda like that "This box made from 20% post-consumer recycled blah-blah-blah"
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.
and the first thing that popped in my head was :
how long before darwinawards.com has a story about someone putting their penis in it?
PC moderators can suck my White pierced, tattooed dick. If you think pride == hate, s/dick/Aryan meat mallet/g.
Strange as it seems, I remember reading about a WWII German Aiti-Aircraft weapon that was strangely similar to this. Supposedly, it could generate vortecies powerful enough to make an aircraft uncontrollable in flight and in some cases break up. As I remember, it never had the range they wanted (tens, rather than thousands, of meters) and was never deployed operationally.
Looks like another 50-year-old technology has found a use doing something it wasn't originally designed for.
Never attribute to malice what can as easily be the result of incompetence...
...how long before they sue the maker for using "Win" in its name?
Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.
What source of energy keeps the electrons whizzing around in an atom?
Yeah. I thought so.
This thing must be loud as hell. I wonder if it sounds comparable to dropping a decent sized rock into a clothes dryer.
Maybe this is the solution to getting all the
lumps outta kenny^h^h^h^h^hthe chocolate milk...
A real honest-to-goodness can of whoop-ass! Cool!
Hexy - a strategy game for iPhone/iPod Touch
Loan Shark: You're gonna give me my money by the end of the week, see? Or me and the boys are gonna powder your nose!
Hapless Gambler: Hmmm... That doesn't sound so bad...
"The Boys":
Step into a huge movement. Don't Tread In Me.
From the article...
"It's nice stuff," DeBusk says of his jellyfish, which he mixed with several secret ingredients and then pureed.
If the tornado in a can can transform the glop properly, he believes it could be worth millions as an ingredient of wound-healing bandages, arthritis drugs, *sports drinks* and other products. "
I've just gotten past the idea of eating hot-dogs, not sure if I'm ready for Jellyfish flavored Gatorade.
A goal is a dream with a deadline
Thats how things worked at my last job. The theoreticians(msce) would gather around the white board and babble for hours while I the practical bastard that I am would get busy attempting to replicate the customers environment and thus the customers problem and soon enough I would have the solution to the problem all worked out.
Don't lean in too far or you'll be on darwinawards.com!
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Its slashdot and the GOP all eating Tex Mex, Burritos with LOTS of beens, add a few old ass scots and bagpipes, your bound to have a few windbags.
I've been looking for something like this ever since the first time I threatened to open a can of "Whoop-Ass" on someone. This is great! Will they come in six-packs? Or can I just get these by the case?
The REAL jabber has the user id: 13196
What you do today will cost you a day of your life
This device should be used for funerals ...Its bound to be more efficient at turning a body into powder then fire ever would.
Probable not a good idea to actually do this at the funeral service though.
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Voltaire
Just add mindless Microsoft bashing.
If I put water in it, what happens?
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
all your feet are belong to us
"Has anyone seen it in action and can you give us a first hand report?"
Silly qustion. No. They're now dust.
"Psst, let's sneak in and check out the invention." "Okay." (sounds of a Hoover followed by drowned out screaming) This is one thing you don't check out, e.g. if you're smart enough to hear about this beforehand, you either worked for the guy and kept your mouth shut or stayed away.
I wonder if a corpse could fit in it?
Huh? Oh, no reason...
I wonder if Humongous Games holds the patent on this. If this idea was stolen from Pajama Sam , I hope the hammer comes down on Polifka.
Finally, people may be able to back up the claim, "I'm gonna open a can of whoopass!"
Finally, a tool that can be added to the arsenal of capital punishment utensils that can be deemed neither cruel nor unusual. ....ooops nevermind
Huh. I don't see that anyone's posted the website for his company yet.
Imagine a Beowulf cluster of those!!!
my good old '1974 toronado in a garage'
hide while you can
1) Eat beans for a week. 2) Go to the can. 3) Light match Instant tornado in a can!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one the bus load of girls just went down.
Maybe this is how the anthrax in last year's attacks was pulverized...
So how come no one has made the Prince Albert in a Can joke yet. I am very disappointed. It only took 12 posts on the French accidental discovery of the TetraNeutron to get the PreEmptive Surrender joke.
Sig Nazi- "No Sig for you, come back 1 year."
IS PEOPLE! Now we have the technology, no more burying the dead!
-Eezy Bordone
"Has anyone seen it in action and can you give us a first hand report?"
If I could give you a first hand report, I'd probably be dead.
The plasma torch has a better potential of destroying
/ ar ticle2.html
dangerous compounds and generating energy at the
same time.
It's really interesting stuff.
http://gtalumni.org/StayInformed/magazine/sum02
Absolute statements are never true
imagine a beowulf cluster of those things!! ;o)
I just coulnt help it..
No more breaking in to the ALPO plant!!!!
because I have been enjoined by this Holy Office to abandon the false opinion which maintains that the Sun is the centre
The Mafia and other organizations may be interested in this technology if it also obliterates DNA in the process. How good is this? (Or maybe if you mix with a chemical, it could do the job.) Nice tech! :0
My broken drive
will spin again.
Fragmenting sectors now..
Let's count on Amazon to patent the 'one-click' method.
and it was a total disaster. Almost as bad as the Earth Quake Pills.
help me i've cloned myself and can't remember which one I am
That's no ordinary tornado, that's a white tornado! (anyone catch the reference?)
1. Pulverize Chickens 2. ??? 3. Profit !!!
You like your new Mac more than you like me, don't you, Dave? Dave? I asked...She said Yes.
Man, I can't wait to hook on of these bad boys up to a toilet! Hehehe...
Actually, it's only a part of a sentence. Under current USPTO acceptable claiming procedure, the individual claims, no matter how long, must be a single sentence. Hence, the reason you often times see semicolons scattered throughout the claims is to separate components so as to increase readability.
If it runs Windows, look at it this way, its so slow we won't know it killed the by standers for a long time, or until the blue screen of death.
www.nasatech.com/Briefs/Sept00/MFS31477.html
Looks like the folks at the Royal Canadian Air Farce just got an upgrade!
Wanted: One witty yet thought provoking
Didn't I see the Coyote try using "ACME Brand Tornado in a Can" on the Roadrunner before?
---- "Logoff! That cookie shit makes me nervous!" - A. Soprano
I'll give him ten bucks to say "Watch this!" and drop a bowling ball into it.
Could this be retrofitted into Al Bundy's legendary "Ferguson" porcelain?
When only a real man's flush will do.
Oh, congratulations, HERO. Fucking sanctimoneous children around this place.
I bet the Ronco guy is calling him night and day. "Set it and forget it!"
This brings new meaning to the term "Opening up a CAN of whoop ass". Badoom tisshh
Imagine a beowulf cluster of...
Oh, bugger it!
Someone hates these cans.
Simply put, if it's broken down to the molecular level, a Prion will still get ya.
I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the State of Texas
Step 1: Steal Underpants
Step 2: Pulverize underpants without destroying its organic compounds. Sell resulting powder to pharmecutical companies.
Step 3: Profit!
Think about it:
Our landfills contain metals, plastics, glass, and a whole bunch of organic material. There's no practical way of sifting through most of it.
With this device, Garbage Mining could be as simple as separating the organics from the inorganics smelting the metal out...
The poultry aspect of this thing, however, is enough to make anyone vegetarian.
In Soviet Russia, wolves feed the leg!
Sounds a lot like Dr. Zippermeyers Whirlwind Cannon, an experimental German WW2 weapon/device. http://www.pilotenbunker.de/Hagelkorn/Germany/Luft kanone/luftkanone.htm
http://autonomous.org/soundsite/texts/weapon.html
-- The Heineken Uncertainty Principle: You can never be sure how many bears you had last night.
yeepp, a quick search @ www.uspto.gov doesn't show there is a patent registered to him....maybe his got it registerd in/for an other country :)
I don't claim I know more than I know, and if you know you know more than I know, then by all means, let me know.
Picture this scenario
geek1:Aww man I'm tired. Got any coffee?
geek2:Sure, I'll just grind up some beans.
Ahh-that's some good coffee.
Seriously this would be a seriously cool gadget to have around the house, just for sheer geek factor. But it does have it's uses, it could replace current garborators, having the advantage of being totally bladeless. And as it doesn't destroy the molecules your grinding it could be used in the laboratory to obtain a powdered form of a plant for analysis, rapidly speeding up certain procedures. Something I haven't seen addressed: Is it the forces in the air tearing apart the concrete and rocks and chicken shit, or is it bashing it against the wall. If it's the later You would need some heavy duty walls indeed. Anyways, I'll find out soon enough I think I'm going to try to build one for grinding coffee.
"Though poultry officials are reluctant to speak publicly about the Windhexe for competitive reasons, ..."
Ah, they're just chickens!
The "toxic sludge" of yesteryear is now referred to as "biosolids". Get your euphemisms right.
http://www.accountkiller.com/removal-requested
Sounds like it might be a good way to get the metal out. Then you are just left with a pile of toxic dust that could be reprocessed chemically to recover the various elements.
science is a religion
But doesn't the ol' "inner geek" really wonder what an entire bag of oreos in one bite would taste like?
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
We've gone and mixed quantum mechanics with Oreos. (Does that mean we don't know whether the Oreo has the creamy filling or not?)
The Windhexe article talked about having a dehydrater on the output end of the system (thus they were getting powder a lot of the time). While I don't know the water percentage of Oreos I'm imagining that they'd get some sizable reduction with the total process.
Read the part about the egg membranes and the jellyfish. The challenge was to get the water out of the jellyfish to make the collagen useful. I'm guessing that the system not only pulverizes but also centrifuges somewhat to seperate parts and then they could evaporate the water out and wind up with their powder. (Just what we need, jellyfish powder getting out on the streets.)
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
-saintly, having the appearance of sanctity
-pretending to be very holy, or pious
The sanctimonious pirate that went to sea with the ten commandments. Shak
Point being, sometimes its better to get your hands dirty, forget the theory, and work it all out.
The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do
what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with
them while they do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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